


Lost Souls

by Baratomaya, NeverSatisfiedGirl (Kalli_Ravenne)



Series: Lost Souls: A Tale of Heaven and Hell [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angels, Angst, Blood and Violence, Demons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Graphic Description, Like, Slow Burn, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:55:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 48
Words: 263,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baratomaya/pseuds/Baratomaya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalli_Ravenne/pseuds/NeverSatisfiedGirl
Summary: Teagan Dunn has never been the luckiest of souls. You might say she’s been through Hell, but how she manages to keep a smile is a miracle in itself. Her luck seems to take a turn for the better when she meets Finn Bálor in the park. But is he really everything he seems?This started as a role-play between @baratomaya and I two years ago, and it took on a life of its own, expanding to almost seven novels’ worth of world-building. I couldn’t be prouder of what we accomplished and couldn’t have asked for a better collaborator.Because the story is already completed, two chapters will be released per week.





	1. Bump in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Hello hello! Well, this is something of a surprise. So a little over two years ago, while writing _Sins_ , [@baratomaya](https://tmblr.co/mv38p4ImAe46gmFe_6R4g6g) approached me with an idea for a role play. What started as a simple concept turned into a practical saga, and we’re proud of the result. Because the story is already complete, there will be two chapters released every week. With that being said, show all the love to [@baratomaya](https://tmblr.co/mv38p4ImAe46gmFe_6R4g6g) for her role in making this happen. If you want tagged, let us know!
> 
> Hope you like this one. <3

**  
**The full moon was out tonight... **  
**

I paused in my brisk walk down the empty, orange-lit street to briefly admire it. When was the last time I’d seen a full moon, and such a luminous one at that? I couldn’t remember. Which was a shame because the one up above me now looked nothing short of startling against the rest of the pitch black sky which had only a few dots of stars to light it up. One of the downsides of living in a town, I guess.

When my friend, Dawn, had invited me on a night out, I initially refused. I had a multitude of excuses on hand - I wasn’t a night person, I’d prefer to stay at home, in my PJs, binge-watching a show on Netflix - but, in the end, they were all in vain. My friend’s stubbornness had won out and here I was now, on my way to the meeting place.

Plucking my phone from my handbag, I checked the time only to groan lightly under my breath. Ten at night. Late. Too late, as far as I was concerned, though there were many, including my friend, who would disagree. ‘You act like an old woman,’ she’d probably jest.

I glanced over my shoulder. Maybe I should just go back and think up a good enough excuse for why I couldn’t come. Yeah, that sounds good…

Left to my own devices, I probably would have stood there debating what to do for god knows how long (the irony did not escape me). However, just then, I jumped as a loud noise broke through the silence.

I looked in the direction it had come from - one of the alleyways, it seemed. My first thought was that it might be a stray cat, but, looking closer, it seemed to be two men...

***

_**Blubbering fool. They always think they're so badass until they know they're about to die. This on in an alley behind a dumpster, no less.** _

_**After chasing him for miles from a college Halloween party I'd chosen to hunt at, I was in no mood to be merciful. I wanted the bastard to suffer the way he'd tried to make a young woman suffer when he'd forced himself upon her. His soul was a bountiful feast of falsehoods and malice. An entitled, privileged brat of a son to the mayor. He wouldn't be missed.** _

_**Oh, but what's this? What's a lass like that doing walking the streets alone?** _

_**“Please…” The frat boy whimpered, once so proud and full of machismo, now cowering pathetically on the ground. “Please, man, let me go. I-I’m sorry, I thought she was just playing hard to get. I-I-I swear I won’t do it again.”** _

_**And then he noticed the little beauty across the street, illuminated by a halo of street-light, and he shot to his feet and raced towards her. “HEY! Hey, you! Call the police! HELP ME!”** _

_**Predictable.** _

_**A tendril lashed out like a whip and wrapped around the ankle of that sniveling idiot, yanking him back into the darkness with me. Quickly, I grabbed him by the neck, choking the life out of him as I drank in his soul with such force that he shook and shuddered with pain.** _

_**I wasn't planning on an eat and go, but when your meal decides to try and escape, one has to improvise.** _

_**Footsteps padded in our direction from across the street. They wouldn't find us here. The lifeless husk was pitched into the dumpster, and I traveled upward to get a better view of my quarry.** _

***

Slowly, cautiously, I approached the alleyway where the noise had come from. In my right hand, I clutched my mobile phone, partly to help me see since the alley was sorely lacking in light (though a lot of good it did), but mostly in case I needed to call for help.

. _..God, I hope I don’t have to_ , I thought, faltering at the entrance. I still wasn’t entirely sure why I was doing this, why I hadn’t kept on walking like a smart person would. Did I want to be attacked or, worse, wind up dead? That proverb ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ didn’t exist for nothing! 

_Because you’re a decent human being who can’t ignore someone if they’re in trouble_. I sighed, putting that line of thinking to rest. Pesky conscience.

I came to a stop as I reached a grotty dumpster that stunk to high heaven. From what little I could see, the alleyway was completely deserted. Odd because I could have sworn I heard a cry for help, and I knew I hadn’t imagined those two figures. 

There was a dead end up ahead. The only way out was via the entrance and I would have seen them if they left that way.

So...where were they? 

The more I pondered on it, the more things started to become a whole lot creepier.

_Nope. Fuck this, I’m out!_ I shook my head and made to leave.

My mind was officially made up: I was definitely returning home now. 

***

**_The fear that poured from her was so rich, so decadent, that it took all the restraint I possessed not to claim her then. And her soul...full of potential for corruption and ripe for the picking._ **

**_But this felt different from the others. It wasn't enough to simply tag it for later. I wanted to be near it, to be near her. I had no reason for it other than that it was intoxicating and alluring._ **

**_I followed her home, silent and unseen. Someone had to look out for her, after all._ **

***

The journey home was a quick, if not incredibly tense one. My fears ran wild, imagining danger round every corner, human or otherwise. I was fully aware of how irrational that sounded, but, given the circumstances, I think I could be excused just this once.

It wasn’t until I was through my front door and had drenched my house in light that I let myself relax.

Home, safe and sound. 

I knew that come tomorrow I would be laughing over how much I’d scared myself over nothing. But, at this moment in time, I couldn’t have been more relieved to be back in the safety of my own home.

***

_**She's not much different from other meat sacks. Maybe a bit more pleasing to the eye, a bit smarter. But her soul…** _

_**If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't bother. Laying waste to the voids - dark souls - in the world, that's my business. Other demons lured humans into corrupting themselves, but some do that enough on their own. Either way, I clean up the worst of ‘em, leaving just enough for the groundlings below to torment as they please.** _

_**But souls, like this shiny bauble in the window, are in short supply. They're the kind that some would kill to corrupt. The type that would either make outstanding demons...or a delicious meal.** _

_**And as I watched her through the window as she settled in, I knew I was in for something interesting.** _

**_Or, perhaps,_ she _was._**

***

A contented sigh escaped my lips as I wrapped myself further into the soft duvet. My friend, no doubt, would call me sad, but I’d take being all snuggled up in bed with Bob’s Burgers or The Simpsons on in the background anyday over drinking shots in crowded, noisy nightclubs.

What could I say? It didn’t take much to please me.

Speaking of my friend, Dawn took my no-show to her girl’s night out better than expected. Thankfully, even she understood why I was so spooked out.

Fully settled in and secure in the knowledge that every window and door in the house was locked up nice and tight - nothing was getting in here - I turned off the light and closed my eyes. After getting myself so worked up earlier, I was now physically spent and could barely keep my eyes open.

It wasn’t long until I fell into a deep slumber. 

***

**_I'd never wanted to peer into someone's mind more. Why not? The time was right. She's dead to the world, and her mind was wide open._ **

**_A second of thought, and I was inside her bedroom. Crawling up onto the ceiling, I came to a stop once I was looming over her prone form._ **

**_There are very few humans who are aware of us, who can proof their minds to keep us from messing around with them._ **

**_It's good strategy, except for two flaws: That kind of shit only works on low-level demons. And humans eventually have to sleep._ **

**_In sleep, defenses are completely down. The energy that it took to keep them up is depleted, and you have to recharge. So - unless you've miraculously come into possession of a powerful ward meant to keep all demons - including myself - away, here's a news flash: we most certainly can - and will - play havoc upon your dreams._ **

**_But not her. Not tonight, anyway. Just a little peek out of curiosity. A single touch to her temple and…_ **

**_Oh._ Oh _…well, this is_ fascinating.**

**_I could have fun with you, lovely bauble. I think I may have to keep you for myself._ **

**_I brushed a lock of hair from her face and mouthed an incantation. Nothing harmful, just a simple brand to hide beneath the skin. The message was loud and clear to any demon that happened upon her: PROPERTY OF THE DEMON KING._ **

**_Sleep well, lass. I'll see you soon._ **

***

I opened my eyes as the repetitive noise of my alarm clock broke through the birdsong outside and awoke me.

Not quite ready to get up and begin my day, I turned it off and continued to lay there, resting. As I did, last night’s short but vivid dream replayed in my head.

> _Rope. Lots of it. I’m trussed up like a turkey, gag in my mouth and unable to move my limbs. It’s both terrifying and intoxicating._  
>  Hands gliding over my skin, bringing both pleasure and pain.  
> And eyes. Eyes as red as Hell itself, glowing, and sweet yet poisonous lips part against my throat...to reveal long, jagged teeth that bite into me.  
>  **Lord have mercy! Save me!**

It’s a good thing dreams are privy only to the dreamer. If someone were to see the outrageous stuff my mind conjures up when I’m asleep, I think I’d die of embarrassment.

Having grown up an only child to unwaveringly strict God-fearing parents, I was deeply ashamed by my dreams and fantasies as I was raised to believe such things were sinful, that sex shouldn’t even cross my mind until I was married, and even then it was only to procreate, not for pleasure. To my mother and father, religion was a life-long prison sentence of prayers and repression, all to please a vengeful God so they wouldn’t go to Hell when they died. It was a belief they'd passed onto me, too.

I don’t speak to my parents anymore. The few I’ve mentioned this to find it quite saddening, but, for me, it was a bitter fact, one I couldn’t do anything about. (Plus, if I were honest, I was a happier person without them in my life.)

Fully awake, I stretched my arms and hopped out of bed, heading for the bathroom so I could make myself presentable.

***

_People have this strange idea that demons hate the daylight. Like it frightens us or weakens us, or some other trite bullshit. Many actually quite enjoy the light. Sure, we can get up to so much more under cover of night, but there's a certain elegance to the mischief done in full view of Heaven and the angels._

_What it comes down to is simple: choice. Humans have a choice. Whichever they choose, they are choosing a bedfellow for that moment. It's always a battle, one that no one else sees, and only one can win the day._

_Because seriously, have you ever seen a demon and an angel coexist peacefully over a human soul? Strangest three-way you'd ever witness._

_What I find surprising is it appeared that no one was clamoring over this particular soul. She's a unique case. No claim upon her for one or another. I wondered what set her apart, why she's flying under the radar._

_It was a curiosity that only grew as I watched her begin the day._

***

Today is a good day, I thought to myself as I pushed the trolley around the supermarket and picked up the items on my shopping list.

As someone who enjoyed simple pleasures and tastes in life, the fact that it was a gorgeous day out - warm but not uncomfortably so, and a clear blue sky that stretched as far as the eye could see - made me very happy. I hadn’t planned to, but I decided, once I’d got my weekly shop out of the way, I’d pay a visit to my local park. On a day like this, it’d be a crime to stay cooped up.

“Aaand done.” I announced as I crossed the last of the items off my list. “Now to pay and get out of here.”

That had been the plan, at least until I neared checkout and ran into a familiar face.

“AJ? Is that you?” My eyes widened in shock. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?”

I recognised her, but barely. She’d changed since I’d last seen her a year ago. The AJ Lee of my memories was this sweet, docile woman, doe-eyed and brimming with innocence.  

But now... Now she lacked any of the softness she used to possess. Her brown eyes were cold, while her demeanor was one that was both sultry and hostile. She was as far from the AJ Lee I remembered as she could possibly get, so much so that I instantly regretted calling out to her and wanted nothing more than to turn around and hide down one of the aisles.

Thankfully, this didn’t happen. Twiddling her index finger around her long, black locks, she completely ignored me, skipping right into the arms of a man with platinum blond hair (her boyfriend, I presumed). “Dolphy, don’t leave me for too long next time. I missed you.” 

“Babe, I was only gone for fifteen minutes.” Huh. I guess she doesn’t recognize me?

However, as the pair were leaving, she glanced over her shoulder at me with narrowed eyes, proving me wrong. She recognized me alright.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any weirder, a big smile randomly came over her face.  

I shuddered. That smile was unnatural. She looked unstable.

I was quick to pay and leave after that, just on the off-chance she decided to come back and strike up a conversation with me. I liked to think I was a good judge of character and I only needed to take one look at AJ to tell that she was now the type of person you should steer clear of.

She’s changed so much. I wonder what happened to her… I found myself pondering as I made my way back home.

***

_Ah, AJ Lee. Classic case of vanity and lust. Beautiful, vibrant, ambitious. And incredibly conceited._

_She wasn't always so. At one point, she had a rich, full life ahead of her. A fast-track to her dream career, a close-knit circle of friends, and a loving fiancé who shared her dream of white picket fences and the pitter-patter of tiny feet._

_Until the day she made a new ‘friend’, someone who convinced her that she was making the biggest mistake of her life being tied down. Someone who shook up her perfect little world._

_I'm rather proud of Paige’s work converting this one. Not just because of the awe-inspiring chaos that ensued upon AJ discovering her fiancé in flagrantè delicto with her work rival - impaling his beloved dog on a pike, destroying his beloved Mercedes-Benz with an ice pick, and setting his entire wardrobe on fire in front of his parents’ home - but because her mental stability was forever destroyed as a result._

_Now, she was a temptress and bunny boiler of the worst kind. Her boyfriends were as disposable as Kleenex, her patience as thin as onion skin, and her heart as black as midnight to match the fading of her soul._

_I’m looking forward to accepting AJ Lee into our ranks._

***

“Here you go, miss.” The ice-cream vendor said as he handed over a ice cream cone . “That’ll be $2.79.”

“Thanks!” I paid and resumed my walk down the path, enjoying the scenery.

I wasn’t the only one making the best of the good weather. To my right was the playground, filled with squealing children enjoying themselves. And to my left were families and couples, sitting in the field and having picnics.

As I strolled, I heard a loud whistle nearby - a catcall.

Looking behind me, I saw that it had come from a blondish-brown haired man who was lounging about with a group of his friends, drinking beer. A blush soon rose to my face when I saw that said catcall had been directed at me of all people. This was the first time something like this had happened and I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t wearing anything too revealing, just a simple floral dress, tights, cardigan, and flip-flops. Maybe it wasn’t so much what I was wearing as the fact that I was the opposite sex?  

Deciding to just ignore it, I continued on my way. My ice cream was melting at a shocking rate and I still had more of the park to see.

Fifteen minutes later and I heard footsteps approaching from behind and a voice with a Texan accent calling out. “Hey! Hey, you!” Turning around, my heart fell when I saw it was none other than the catcaller.

He came to a stop before me, expression indignant. “Where do you get off ignoring me like that, missy? I was complimenting you! Don’t you know who I am!?”

“No.” I said simply. If I continued to ignore him or antagonised him, things could potentially get real ugly. As it was, I’d wandered down into the more deserted section of the park…

“I’m John Bradshaw Layfield, and let me tell you, I’m a man who doesn’t like to be ignored. Especially by some little tease such as yourself! What, you think you’re better than me or something?”

Despite my growing worry, I stood my ground. “Look,” I said in a slow, steady voice, hoping it would calm the man down. “I’m sorry if I offended you.” I took a step back and made to leave. “Let’s just leave it that, okay? I don’t want any trouble.”

Before I could so much as take another step, his hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back. “Get your ass back here! You think I’m gonna let you just walk away after acting so uppity with me? Now, I suggest you show me the goddamn respect I deserve and and give me a real apology this time otherwise there’ll be plenty of trouble coming your way!”

**_Smack!_ **

The second he put his hand on me, my mind fell into a panic and I acted on instinct, slapping him right across the face as hard as I could. I had hoped the shock of it would cause him to release me, but, unfortunately, it didn’t. If anything, his grip tightened to painful levels. 

I gulped. _Shit. I’m in trouble._

***

_First, the shrew. Now, the fool. He would surely pay for what he's thinking of doing._

_I'd come out from the alleyways and taken on my human form, dressed for the weather with my favorite leather jacket. (It should be noted that we demons don't put much stock into possessions. Doesn't mean we don't have our favorite items though.)_

_I crept up behind him, just as he was about to raise his hand to her in retaliation, and grabbed him by the shoulder to spin him forcefully around to face me._

_“Hey fella, I'm pretty sure the lady said no.”_

_Red-faced and belligerent, he snarled, “Go find your own, kid - this one's off-limits!”_

_Calmly I replied, “To you, perhaps. You've been nothing but disrespectful since you saw her. If a lady says no, she means it and deserves to be listened to.”_

_“She's a snobby little bitch that needs to learn her place!” He shoved me back. Well, tried to. He pressed, but I would not be moved. The silly bastard kept trying though. It was all I could do not to laugh aloud._

_I smirked instead at his frustration. I could smell the fear on him, pouring off in rivulets._

_He turned in shock, following my movements as I stood between him and what was mine. I could practically see the cogs whirring in that brain of his, trying to figure out why his bullying tactics weren’t working like they usually did. It was a good thing the little lass was here because, if she hadn’t been, humiliation and a wounded ego would be the least of this Texas businessman’s worries._

_Look at him. Close to pissing himself. And I was willing to bet that all I needed to do to chase him off was to flash my eyes black and say, “Boo!”_

_Oh, would you look at that? It worked._

***

My heart thudded in my chest as I watched the loudmouthed, hot-tempered man turn on his heel and run away. I should have felt relief, but I didn’t. He’d been drinking with a group of men before he followed and harassed me. What’s to say he wasn’t planning to rally them together and return to cause more trouble?

I have to get out of here. Now.

Nervously, I called out to my saviour. “Erm, excuse me?” My impatience soon got the better of me and I tugged the sleeve of his black, leather jacket. “Come on,” I urged him. “Let’s get out of here before he comes back with his drunk friends.”

Without waiting for a response, I half lead, half pulled him out of the park entrance nearest to us and onto the street of houses. Once there, I kept my eyes firmly on the park, lest the man appeared.

“Hey, I’m sorry to be a pain, but co-could you walk me back to my house, please? Just in case he tries to follow me again?” I asked shakily. I was too afraid to go back alone, not after what had almost happened. I’d spend the whole walk fearing he was stalking me, waiting till the time was right to make his move.

***

_I kept close as she asked. Surprised even me, if I'm honest. Her fear was sweet and trembling, a magnolia standing firm to a branch despite gale-force winds._

_For her peace of mind, I stayed (and pretended to act) as a lookout for those drunk assholes._

_No one followed. They wouldn't dare; shit, I'm more terrifying than anything out here._

_As we drew closer to her place, I could tell she was less tense than before, yet not completely certain. Carefully I asked, “You alright, lass?”_

***

I drew out a shaky breath at his question. “Not really. At least I won’t be until I’m back home.” Somewhere amidst the panic, in the back of my head, I thought: _He’s Irish. God, I love the accent. It was largely drowned out by my worry, but it was there._

After walking for what felt like forever, my small detached house came into view around the corner and I let out a sigh, the tension leaving me. Now I could relax.

“Oh my God, that was so scary!” I half laughed, half gasped, burying my face in my hands. Even now, I couldn’t believe how quickly things had escalated, how close I’d come to getting seriously hurt or worse. “I can’t believe that really happened, I just can’t!”

And then I remembered that this man was the reason I was standing here now, safe and unharmed, rather than lying in a hospital bed and I turned to properly address him.

“Thank you so, so much for saving me back there. If you hadn’t come when you did, I don’t even want to think about what might have happened. Is there anything I can do to repay you?” I told him sincerely. “Erm, what is your name anyway…?”

Now that I was no longer preoccupied with my safety, I was finally able to get a decent look at the good samaritan who had stepped in when others would have simply walked away.

I wasn’t prepared.

Oh. Oh _wow_. He’s gorgeous.

Whatever I had planned to say next died in my throat, too busy admiring the man before me. Soft dark hair and beard, striking glacial blue eyes, and a lean, chiseled body that took one's breath away at the sight of it… Add in the fact that he was Irish and had one hell of a sexy timbre and it was fair to say I was blown away.

_Jesus Christ! Is he a model or some movie star? It should be illegal to be that attractive!_

And then, before I could stop myself... “I love your eyes. They’re so pretty,” I murmured, unable to stop staring.

_Congratulations, you probably weirded him out. This is why you can’t have nice things!_

***

_I huffed a laugh. Nothing I hadn’t seen before. It was actually quite adorable watching her fawn and trip on her words. And, despite what her mind tried to make her believe, I wasn't bothered or ‘weirded out’ at all. It was normal for humans to be beguiled by demons. We were there to tempt them, after all._

_I took a look into her expressive, entranced eyes, being charming without being invasive. “Same can be said of you.” I held out a hand in greeting. “I'm Finn Bálor. And you are?”_

***

_Did he just compliment me back? He thinks I have pretty eyes, too?_

_...Yeah right. He’s probably just being polite._

“My name’s Teagan. Teagan Dunn.” I smiled back, shaking his hand. It felt positively huge in my petite one, his slightly calloused fingers practically swallowing up my digits. The handshake itself was firm, stronger than I anticipated. 

_Finn Bálor._ I repeated the name in my head. Nice name. It suits him.

He was well within his rights to leave me then and there, his duty done, but he didn’t. Instead, he continued to walk alongside me until we reached my front porch.

I opened the white door before turning back to him. I knew this was the point where we parted ways, but I really didn’t want that to happen. “Thanks again, Mr. Bálor. I’m really sorry if I kept you from anything important, like your family or friends…” And then, shamelessly testing the waters, “...or girlfriend.”

_Ah, who am I kidding? Of course he does._

***

_Direct, yet subtle. I liked Teagan Dunn already._

_“That's thoughtful of you, Teagan, but I wasn't off to meet anyone. And I'm sure my girlfriend would be plenty pissed off...if I had one.”_

_I leaned in a bit closer, raising a had to the side of my mouth as if telling a secret. “Frankly, if keeping a lovely woman like yourself safe from rude bastards is enough to set her off like that, I wouldn't want her anyway.” And then I winked at her._

_I could tell she wasn't believing that this conversation was happening, that she felt she wasn't deserving. Whoever affected her self-esteem like this was getting a one-way ticket to the pit if I had a say in the matter._

_“Oh and please, call me Finn.”_

***

“Cu-Cut it out,” I stuttered, very nearly laughing in his face at such an absurd statement.

I was trying very hard to keep a hold of myself, but failing abysmally. Was it because he was standing so close to me (what a lovely, pleasing scent he had)? Or was it his flirtatious ways? Probably both.

Hope sprung up inside me at the mention that he was single. Shock soon followed, because how the heck did a man looking like him not have a girlfriend? I suppose it could be he just wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. Or, looking at it more cynically, maybe he was something of an Irish Don Juan, not boyfriend material at all.

_That’s fine. Not like I have a chance with him anyway._ I thought bitterly.

And yet, despite this...I still wanted to give it a shot. I spent my whole teenage years letting my crushes pass me by because I thought there was no way any of them could be interested in a girl like me (a side-effect of being raised by my mother). And, besides, Finn seemed like an alright guy. I figured even if he did turn me down, at least he wouldn’t make me feel like shit in the process. That was one silver lining, right?

I steeled myself, then took the shot. “Hey, Finn, listen. I know you’re probably sick of me already, but if...if you’re not busy, would you…”

_Do it! Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. DO IT, DAMN YOU!!_

“Wo-would you like to get some coffee sometime?” I finally managed to blurt out, face aflame. It was all I could do to meet his blue gaze.

Of course, as soon as I did, I lost my nerve and went into damage control. “Bu-But if you don't - and I totally understand if that’s the case, really - I mean, I’m not asking you out or anything! It’s just coffee, my way of saying thank you.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I...I just thought I might as well ask, you know?” I finished, already gearing myself up for disappointment.

***

_“I'd love to, Teagan.” It wasn't even a question. It was, however, exactly the invitation I'd been looking for. She was clearly enamored, and I hadn't needed to lie to her once. Yet._

_“Do you have a place in mind?”_

***

“Wait, what?” I blurted out with what had to be the most undignified response ever. I couldn’t help it, though. I was so sure that he was going to reply with a “I’m flattered, but…” or a “I’ll have to get back to you...”, that to hear that he’d actually accepted, and with a “I’d love to” at that, took awhile for me to accept.

When it did, I just stood there, mentally screaming Oh my god! Oh my god! over and over in my head. This was really happening. I’d actually just managed to land myself a date with a ridiculously good looking man like Finn Bálor!

I shook myself back to reality at his question. “Erm...the Starbucks round the corner? There’s also a Costas nearby, if you’d prefer that instead…?”

***

_“Starbucks sounds good, actually. Maybe more so because of the pleasant company I get to be around,” I said with a light smile as I held her gaze._

_This really was too easy. “Does tomorrow afternoon work for you?”_

***

_Hey, for you, anytime works_. “Sure!” I nodded, unable to stop myself from grinning.

Unwillingly, I tore my eyes from him and stepped into the hallway of my house. “So, erm, I guess I’ll meet you there round one tomorrow, okay?” I waved to him as I slowly closed the door. “Bye.”

The second the door was closed, I silently whooped and jumped up and down. I must have looked like such an idiot, but I really didn’t care.

I’d been wrong about today. It hadn’t been a good day.

It had been a ****_great_ day!


	2. Coffee Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just an innocent coffee date.

__**  
**I watched her walk in and close the door, giving her a silent wave. Teagan Dunn was a sweetheart. More specifically, one with an underlying streak of deviance a mile wide. **  
**

_**The only trouble I'm having** , I mused as I walked away towards the nearest bar, **is deciding which button to press first.**_

_In no time at all, I’d arrived at my destination: a small, tucked-away bar called Sal’s Place._

_Sal’s Place was a nicer establishment than the name probably conveyed. The man who owned it sold his soul for renovations to keep it from closing down; now it's a profitable spot with a good reputation._

_As for Sal, he’s in Hell. His hands kept going where they didn’t belong. The petty cash, the stolen goods, the underage boys…_

_I sat at the bar while someone served me a cold Guinness Black. Not even a moment after I raised the bottle to my lips, a presence sat next to me. Contention rolled off it in waves, and I knew it from anywhere._

_“Roman.”_

_The former enforcer of Heaven didn’t respond, simply nodding at the bartender who placed a pint of beer, the liquid a golden ale, down before him._

_He immediately took a swig from it, still making a point of ignoring me._

_I smiled. If that’s how he wanted to play, fine by me. He was the one getting pissed off by the second at having to be here, in this den that welcomed both sinners and demons alike. Not me._

_It wasn’t long until the angel’s glass was completely empty. Only then did he slam it down and direct his full, dark gaze at me. A few patrons looked our way, though none dared step in. They only had to take one look at the warrior-like Roman Reigns, with his tribal tattoos decorating his arm, his long black hair, and black paramilitary-style gear to know that he was not someone you wanted to incur the wrath of._

_I, on the other hand, couldn’t give a fuck._

_“Just what do you think you’re playing at, Demon King? Don’t think we haven’t been watching you.” He growled._

_“Not playing at anything, puppy.” He's always hated that name. Quite frankly he was asking for it by referring to himself as the ‘Hound of Justice’ back when he was an enforcer for Heaven (What the fuck was he thinking?). “Merely carrying on with business, leaving my nose out of your affairs.” A deep swallow of my drink. “Curious that I’m not being shown the same courtesy.”_

_He scoffed. “Courtesy? You’re a filthy demon. King or no king, you should be thankful I ain’t spearing your skinny ass into Oblivion where it belongs!”_

_**But you won’t. You’re muzzled, Big Dog**. I thought smugly to myself._

_Back in the old days, during the Wars, angels and demons fought each other frequently. However, those days had past and a truce was now in place. Strained, yes, but a truce nonetheless. Both sides had agreed not to attack one another, and, as far as claims of souls went, it was kept strictly to verbal influential tactics._

_Basically, it’s like the whole ‘angel and devil on the shoulder’ shtick, only the angel and demon are there in the flesh, under human guises. (Also, contrary to what some humans believe, whether they stay on the path of righteousness or fall astray is left entirely to their free will. Angels and demons only advise and tempt, respectively. Nothing less, nothing more)._

_Unfortunately, for those who were solely conditioned to fight, they found themselves twiddling their thumbs after the war, bored out of their skulls. Which is dangerous since it’s led to them looking for something, anything, to fight about._

_Case in point: growly puppy Roman._

_“In the interest of not starting a very public argument that will lead to a very sound ass-kicking, state your business so I can get back to my brew in peace.”_

_The angel wasted no time getting straight to the point. “Teagan Dunn. Why are you wasting your time on her? I thought you only dealt with the truly evil souls.” And then muttering, but loud enough so I could hear... “Heh, like that makes you any better. You’re all as bad as each other...”_

_“Pot, meet kettle,” I retorted. “You're not in any position to judge anyone, myself least of all. And my business with Teagan Dunn has nothing to do with you. I mean, I could tell you, but quite frankly, it's more fun for me if I don’t._

_“Now, do me a favor and fuck off. Oh, and try not to Fall on your flight back up to the pearly gates. God forbid you make me happy.”_

_The stool went clattering to the floor. Roman’s patience had finally run out, it seemed._

_“You think you can talk to me like that?! You better watch your mouth, fool, or I’m going to punch that smug grin right off your face!” The hulking angel snarled._

_He took a threatening step forward. “I don’t need you to tell me what you’ve got planned for that girl because I already know, little man. You’re going to do what your filthy kind always does: defile her soul and then devour it. Well, guess what, Demon Boy, I’m not gonna let you. It’s time you got a taste of why they call me ‘The Powerhouse-’”_

_Roman’s rant was cut short as the ominous sound of thunder rang outside. If he were to look out the window, he’d see that the weather had taken a turn for the worse, seemingly out of nowhere._

_Of course, both him and I knew what it really meant: Heaven was watching and it was warning Roman Reigns to stop._

_“Oh dear, puppy,” I said in mock sympathy. “Looks like you’ve gone and made your master mad. Better run along now like a good, obedient hound before he and his wife have to come down and get you themselves.”_

_Roman fumed, and I couldn’t tell if he was pissed that a certain someone had spoiled his fun, or that he couldn’t actually smite me with a look._

_Ha! He wishes he had that kind of power._

_Without another word - smart choice - he stormed out of the bar. Ooooh, such an angry puppy. My silent celebration was brief, however, as I knew I'd be seeing him again all too soon for my taste. After all, I was his favorite toy._

_I finished my first draught and motioned for another when I heard the heavy rains outside._

_I thought, in an almost singsong tone, **He's gonna get it…**_

***

“I’m telling you, the guy is really, really handsome!” I finished swooning to my friend, Dawn, over a Skype video chat as I told her all about Finn Bálor. Seeing as she was the type to eat this kind of stuff up, she’d been hanging onto my every word throughout. “I can’t stress that to you enough.”

“So, how handsome are we talking about here? Not that I don’t believe you, I just want to get an accurate image.”

I tried to think up the best description before settling on, “Okay, imagine if Colin Farrell had a baby with Kit Harrington. Now imagine that baby was infused with the intense badassery of Tom Hardy, and even more good looks, as well as a banging body and that’s what you get.”

I waved my five fingers in front of the screen. “He’s a 10 out of 10 on the beauty scale! A 10!”

“He must be if he’s reduced you to doing jazz hands,” Dawn snickered. “I’ll admit, he does sound pretty hot, but I’m going to need visual proof. ...Or, even better, to meet him in person?”

“Only on one condition.” I then clasped my hands in prayer and bowed before the screen. “Help me!! The date’s tomorrow afternoon and I have no idea what to wear or what makeup to even put on!”

My friend’s face lit up. She was training to be a makeup artist, so my coming to her for advice like this had probably made her day. “Hell yeah!”

“Do me a favour and just stand away from the screen. I want a full shot of you,” she instructed. I obeyed and she looked me up and down, humming.

After a few seconds, Dawn gave me her opinion. “Okay, good news, you don’t need a lot of work. Without makeup, you’re a solid six - no offence - but a seven or eight if you make an effort and use the right makeup. And finding clothes for your body type will be a cinch. Oh, and straighten your hair. Doesn’t matter what you do with it - tie it up, style it, whatever - just straighten it. Suits you the best. Now!” She clapped her hands. “Show me your clothes!”

Her face fell when I took some clothes out from my cupboard and wardrobe and held them in front of the camera. “Why do you have so many hoodies and sweatpants?? And where are your t-shirts or skirts or anything that shows a bit of skin!? Oh my God, is that beige? You have a beige turtleneck!? Burn it! Burn it now! You are not an old woman, Teagan!”  

“You know what? I can’t do this over Skype. I’m coming over tomorrow morning, ‘round ten, and I’m giving you a complete makeover. We’re getting rid of that...monstrosity, and then we’re going to get clothes that weren’t picked out by your puritan mom! Laters!”

I blinked as my friend ended the chat and logged off.

I thought my dress sense was alright…

***

_There's upsides to being a demon._

_For instance, we're unbound from human limitations. That means no aging, sickness and frailty never touches us, and no hangovers...unless you've imbibed something particularly strong. Say, Shinsuke’s otherworldly brews. (There's a wealth of embarrassing stories to be told on both sides after having his creations - ask anyone.)_

_Aside from consuming souls, we can and often do eat food. In fact, we have a much better appreciation of it than most, being able to taste and experience everything on a greater level._

_And sex? Oh. Hell. Yes._

_Though we have to tone it down - humans could never keep up - supernatural stamina goes a very long way. Perfect for orgies, might I add._

_Angels are capable, but most of them are so boring. Seriously repressed, which is an irony all on its own. Sometimes I imagine - quite gleefully - that if one ever mentioned genitalia in a sentence to a feathered freak, it would fall in a dead faint._

_(Not true of course, but seeing as many have this holier-than-thou thing going on, it wouldn’t surprise me.)_

_Speaking of repression, it made me think of Teagan. Clearly the product of an overly religious upbringing. But, oh, the images I saw in her head were breathtaking. I've turned all manner of so-called good girls into irresponsible, clingy, unruly shrews, none of them posing a hint of a challenge._

_But Teagan? She could be my masterpiece. I imagine she’ll be an outstanding vixen when I'm through with her._

_Or her soul will make a delightful dessert. I'm certainly not picky._

***

“So, how are you feeling?”

“Not good. Kind of wondering if it’s too late to call it off...” I confessed to Dawn, wringing my hands. The high from yesterday had long since gone. Now there was only anxiety and the sinking realization that I was going on a date with someone way out of my league.

What was I thinking asking Finn Bálor out? People like me weren’t supposed to get with people like him. Encounters like ours were meant for mediocre romance novels, like Twilight, or fantasies and fairy-tales. Not real life. I was certain everyone else in the coffee shop would agree the second he walked through the door at sat down at my table.

I could hear their thoughts now: What’s a guy like that doing with a girl like her?

Dawn didn’t agree. “Tea, I love you, but I did NOT spend my whole morning killing myself to get you ready for this date just so you could get cold feet now and have it be all for nothing. This date is happening!”

“And besides, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You look great.”

I gave a small smile, touched. “You mean it?”

After the multiple makeovers I’d received this morning, my opinion on my looks was at an all-time low. Some of Dawn’s ‘attempts’ had been shockingly bad, the worst been when she caked my face in makeup and dressed me up in tight-fitting, low cut clothes that, while might work on some women, did absolutely nothing for me. (“I look like a clown that stopped finding life funny and decided to become a whore!” I’d shrieked when I saw myself in the mirror.)

In the end, we settled on a minimalist style, which, according to Dawn, was a win-win situation. Not only did it enhance my beauty, but it looked natural.

She nodded her head. “Yeah, of course. Now, remember what I told you. It’s all about confidence. You go into this feeling like a superstar, that’s how everyone will see you. You know, smile and the whole world smiles with you and all the jazz.”

She stood up, hoisting her designer bag over her shoulder. “Right, I’m off. You better call me later and give me all the juicy details on how the date went, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I will. Thanks again for your help,” I called to her as she sauntered out of the coffee shop, leaving me to my nerves.

Immediately, I checked the time on my phone: 12:57. Three minutes left until the date officially begun...

***

_Starbucks. I'm almost positive someone sold their soul for this business. Who honestly thinks paying a small fortune for coffee - or their poor excuse for scones - is a good idea?_

_Nonetheless Teagan would be here, which was worth more than everything in this overpriced bean-stand._

_I spot her at a table, looking fresh-faced and practically glowing. She's nervous, I could tell, no doubt questioning how this was happening at all._

_This is going to be fun._

_“Hello again, Teagan. You look radiant today.”_

***

If anything’s radiant here, it’s your smile. It practically lit up his whole face like it was made of sunshine itself.

“Hey. You too.” I grinned back. His boyish smile was infectious. It was the kind that made those around happier just by looking at it. After spending the whole morning stressing I wouldn’t be able to string a sentence together because of my shyness and insecurity, I found myself instantly at ease.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m dying for a drink - coffee, I mean! I’m dying for a latte, not alcohol!” I quickly corrected, realizing how that came across. “I swear I’m not suggesting alcohol because you’re Irish or I’ve got a drinking problem!”

I groaned. “I’m going to shut up now.”

***  

_I laughed. I couldn’t help it._

_“No offense taken. Of course, if you are up for something stronger, I know a great spot not too far from here.” I leaned in, a mischievous glint in my eye, and added, “It'll be our little secret.”_

_Her cheeks went bright red._

***

Well, _that_ escalated quickly.

It was a tempting offer. Considering how frowned upon it was to start drinking alcohol before the evening (I should know, I heard my mother gossip with her friends enough times about a fellow church-goer with a drinking problem), there was something exciting about breaking that particular rule.

But no. I couldn’t. It was just a step too far for me, plus what if I drank too much and made a complete fool of myself in front of Finn? That’d be mortifying! 

“For a second, I was going to accept, but I think I’ll pass. I don’t want to run the risk of getting drunk. According to my friend, Dawn, I lose all common sense and start laughing hysterically at everything.”

***

_“It's a good thing I was joking then, isn't it?” Which is true. Mostly. If I'm honest, I just enjoy getting a rise out of people._

_But her statement made me curious. “So you get giggly and laugh at everything? Sounds like a friend of mine,” I related, thinking of the time Anderson foolishly tried to chug a bottle of Shinsuke’s plum sake. “He gets drunk, he starts seeing ducks in everything, and loses his mind laughing.”_

***

I laughed. “Seriously? How is that even possible?”

And then, because I’m an idiot, “You know, for a second there, I thought you said dicks instead of ducks. Which would make a lot more sense, when you think about it.”

Ten minutes in and we’re already talking about day drinking, ducks, and penises. _Oh Teagan, best kiss this one goodbye, because he’s never coming back after this_ , I thought to myself, blushing heavily.  It was something that happened every time sex got bought up or I was embarrassed (or both). I had absolutely no control over it, not that it stopped Dawn and her friends taking the piss out of me.

“It’s not too late to run while you still can,” I suggested to Finn, deciding, if he really was regretting this, I might as well give him an opening to escape.

***

_“Wouldn't dream of it, Teagan. I don't scare easily, and I'm enjoying your company,” I assured. “And you're not the first to tell me that. It's the accent - turns some of my words into Freudian slips sometimes. Although it's funny you mention dicks while we're on the subject of drunkenness. There's this one story, but it's probably not appropriate and I'd hate to offend or embarrass you further.”_

***

“Oh, no, no! It’s not your accent, trust me. I understand everything you’re saying, it’s just...”

 _I have a dirty mind_. It was right on the tip of my tongue, but, before I could say it, I heard my mother’s voice echoing in my head _(“Filth! You should be ashamed of yourself!”)_. All too quickly, my embarrassment, which had been lessening the more I conversed with Finn, suddenly turned to a deep shame. 

“...You know what, nevermind. I forgot what I was about to say.” I lied.

Just then, one of the baristas - a teenage girl with black lipstick who had long since lost any passion for her job - approached our table. “You know you’re going to have to order something if you want to keep sitting here. If not, the paying customers need it,” she drawled.

“Erm?” I looked to Finn. I didn’t mind either way if we stayed or went. 

***

_I looked at the goth girl. Though I had half a mind to tell her to choose a direction to fuck off in, I knew it would bring the little trust I had garnered with Teagan to ruin._

_So I charmed her instead._

_“My apologies. We were waiting for the rush to die down and lost ourselves in our conversation. Of course we'll order something.” I flashed a smile for good measure._

_Her entire demeanor started to shift, and she looked genuinely apologetic. “Oh, it’s cool, I totally understand. We get pretty busy around here. What can I get you?”_

_“Teagan, you know what you want? I'll let you order first.”_

***

I watched as the barista’s surliness disappeared in an instant. I couldn’t blame her. Who could say no to that smile?

I went with the usual drink I always got at Starbucks.  “I’ll have a cafè latte, please.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” the girl said, barely even looking up my way. She scribbled my order down at lightning speed (so fast I have my doubts her writing was even legible), before turning back to Finn, all smiles. “And how about you, Sir?”

Aaand it begins…

*** 

_That...was unacceptable._

_Keeping my tone calm and sweet, I asked, “Did you get my date's order?”_

_“Yes, Sir. A caffè latte,” she replied, almost demurely. And the look in her eyes wasn’t unfamiliar either._

_“I ask only because you seemed distracted when she told you what she wanted. You're not ‘distracted’, are you?” I kept things nice and pleasant the whole time I spoke, only the slightest hint of an edge underneath it all. It was subtle enough that any bystanders would be none the wiser, simply thinking we were having a chat._

_**She** heard it, though. I caught the brief flinch in her expression before she responded, smile still in place. “N-no Sir, not at all.”_

_“Good. Because you've been so helpful today. I'd hate to ruin that by telling your manager about how discourteous you were to my date.”_

_Her eyes widened._

_“Do we have an understanding?”_

_She nodded quickly. “Yes, Sir. I'm sorry.” And I could see that she meant it._

_“Thank you. Now that that's done, I'll have what the lady is having.”_

_The barista sped off to place the order._

***

I looked back and forth between Finn and the barista, silently observing the ‘conversation’ that was taking place between them.

I’m not sure how, but he was putting her in her place AND being nice and polite while doing it. Impressive. Anyone else would have just kicked up a ruckus or made a rude comment to the barista for being so unprofessional.

However, what really amazed me was how it worked. If the girl had a tail, it’d be right between her legs right about now.

“Thank you,” I said, sincerely touched that he’d cared enough to do that. “I have to admit, that was a little scary, how you handled the situation with a smile on your face the whole time. I’m going to take a guess and say you have a job that requires managing people...right?”

Our drinks arrived in record timing (though whether this was because of Finn’s ‘talk’ or because the barista was trying to impress him, I didn’t know).

Grabbing three sachets of sugar, I opened them up and poured them into my latte, making sure to give it a good stir. It may sound weird, but, despite liking coffee, I wasn’t a big fan of the caffeine part of it. I always needed something sweet to smother the bitterness otherwise I just couldn’t enjoy it.

Tentatively, I took a sip. So sweet it will give you diabetes. Perfect.

***

_“Managing people sounds about right,” I said with a chuckle, stirring two packets of sugar into my steaming cup._

_The barista returned with a plate, holding two Danish: one cherry, one cream-cheese. She even had the good grace to look remorseful._

_“Compliments of the house.” She quickly offered a smile to both of us, and she was off again._

_“Well, that was nice.” I glanced at Teagan, noticing she was still a bit unsettled. “What's on your mind, might I ask?”_

***

“Does that happen often?” I asked, amazed that the barista had actually given us something for free. Honestly, this was starting to get a little over the top. And, call me cynical, but I was finding it really hard to believe she was pulling out the stops because she felt bad and feared a complaint to her manager. Most likely, she was trying to put herself in Finn’s good graces.

But why? Sure Finn Bálor was handsome in that effortless way only A-list movie stars seemed to achieve, but he was still just a man at the end of the day. There were plenty of other men out there just like him, weren’t there? 

Or, could it be the barista girl sensed something I didn’t?

Immediately, images of mafiosa bosses and kingpins like Michael Corleone from The Godfather or Wilson Fisk from Daredevil came to my mind. They, too, had he power to instill a reaction in someone with a carefully worded comment or expression. They were also men you didn’t want to anger out of fear of what they’d do in retaliation... 

_No! Come on, Teagan, get your head of of your ass, you’re being ridiculous! It’s not like he threatened her or raised his voice._ I admonished myself, stunned I would even think such a thing. He’s just really good at dealing with people, that’s all! 

However, an odd feeling still remained, and it wasn’t until I’d finished my latte that I realized exactly what was bugging me.

“You know, this kind of reminds me of a scene in Twilight.” I said, watching the barista as she went about her work. “They went to a restaurant and Edward Cullen had the waitress eating out of the palm of his hand - ‘dazzled’ was the word I think they used. Anyway, turns out Edwardo’s actually a hundred year old vampire who’s fighting the urge to kill Bella and suck her blood.”

I turned back to Finn. “First of all, don’t judge me. I was young and fifteen and every girl goes through that phase. And second, I’m not saying you’re a vampire, especially of the sparkling, creepy stalker kind like him. What I’m trying to say is…”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I can’t help but feel like this is too good to be true. Like, the joke’s on me.”

***

_I looked her in the eyes, all jokes aside, as if she was the only one in the room. “I don’t blame you at all for feeling that way. It's a valid concern, and I respect that. I respect you.”_

_Carefully, I rested a hand on top of hers, which were fairly small compared to mine. “I'll tell you what. You can ask anything, anything you want to know about me.”_

***

I looked down at his hand resting on top of my own and felt a small smile come over my face.

_Damn, he's smooth._

My fears put to rest somewhat, I mulled over what to ask Finn. There were so many questions I could ask, I wasn't sure which one to choose…

Swallowing, I settled on, “Ok… Tell me about yourself.”

***

_A little piece of advice when asking a demon to talk about themselves: they're not unlike humans._

_Some are arrogant, some are restrained, some are open. But no matter who you ask, it would behoove you to remember that ninety-percent of the time, it's all bullshit. It’s necessary._

_But that ten-percent? It's valuable. For how many of us can share even a particle of truth about ourselves?_

_With her, I actually wanted to tell the truth. Just without specific details._

_“I was born in Ireland, with four other siblings,” I began. “I had great parents, my brothers and sister growing up were...much like other siblings, I guess. Still love ‘em.”_

_A chuckle escaped my lips. It felt strange talking about them again. “I moved here a few years ago to find new opportunities, to move up in the world. It's not what I expected, but...it fits, you know? Being in charge and leading a team for a law firm - it's the challenge I wanted, and it's genuinely fun. Stressful, but fun.”_

***

“I’ll bet,” I said, eager for him to continue. His life sounded fascinating, so much more interesting than my own (which, let's be honest, was nothing much to cry home about).

“Do you still see your brothers and sister and parents? Like at Christmas?” I asked, smiling softly. “I'm kind of jealous that you have such a big, close-knit family. I grew up an only child and found it pretty lonely. Sometimes find myself wondering if things would have been different if I had a brother or sister, you know?”

“So, how did you get such a great job?” I asked. I was a little worried I was bombarding him with questions, but he didn't seem to mind. “Is the law firm well-known?”

***

_A twinge of pain flashed in my chest for a moment, but only a moment._

_“Not as often as I'd like,” I replied casually, adding, “But I do pop in on them occasionally to visit.” Which was also true. And complicated._

_“Honestly, I remember days where I wanted to be an only child. Having a bunch of siblings messing with you was such a pain in the arse.”_

_That got a laugh out of her. “But I like to think we all grow up the way we do for good reason. And sometimes you meet others and find that you balance one another.”_

 

***

“Hah, you sound like every other person I’ve talked to who has a sibling. You can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them, am I right?” I joked back, endeared by Finn’s description of his family, but also a little sad. I never got to experience the unique frustrations and jubilation that came from having a brother or sister. I never got to experience a normal family life, period. 

***

_I took a sip of my coffee before continuing. “And, as far as work goes, it's pretty wild. I initially wanted to travel after finishing school, but I took a leadership role from someone who'd been at it much longer. He worked in acquisitions for this sizable firm. Not well known, but great reputation. It kinda fell into my lap, you might say.”_

***

I raised my eyebrows as he talked about his job. “Wow, lucky. Most people would kill for that. And isn’t law a really competitive field to get into as it is? I hear you have to be the best of the best to get accepted, and even then, that’s after years of gaining experience.”

***

_I smiled at her. “It wasn't an easy position at all. I had to fight tooth and nail to get it, overcoming others who were more experienced - and more cutthroat - than I was. But I guess someone saw my potential and gave me a chance. It was just a lucky break.”_

***

Feeling a lot better now then I did before, I pushed my empty latte aside and leaned closer. “Okay, since you let me ask you anything, I think it’s only fair I let you do the same. Ask away. Finn.”

***

_I considered her offer. **“Anything?”**_

_Playfully wagging my eyebrows, I added in a low but silly voice, “You should really be more careful with things like that...I can be very, very adventurous when I wanna be.” Cheshire grin and all, the blush that rose in her face was so worth the silliness._

***

“Adventurous? Is that your way of telling me you’re like Christian Grey from 50 Shades or something? Because, if it is, how very dare you. What woman do you take me for?!” I pouted, my blush having returned full force. However, this time, I didn’t feel quite so bad about my embarrassment. If anything, I was enjoying myself. I guess Finn had that effect on me.

***

_“But,” I drew back a bit, voice back to normal. “I'll be good. I'm curious to hear more about you. What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? And do you enjoy starting more than one line of conversation with everyone, or just people you like?”_

***

I stopped joking around when he asked me his questions, thinking over how to answer them. Should I be truthful or should I sugarcoat it? If I said the wrong thing, it could end any chances of having a future date with Finn.

In the end, I went with the former. Lying about myself - even little white ones - might give Finn a better impression of me, but it wouldn’t be real, no matter how much I kid myself. 

“I’m not currently employed right now. It’s a long story, but I’m basically passing the time by doing odd jobs here and there until I can go study in September. Haven’t made up my mind what yet, but I’ll think of something.”

Good, that’s one thing out of the way.

Now for the next. “As for what I do for fun… Well, I like to watch Netflix a lot. Currently binge watching Stranger Things and Breaking Bad. When it comes to outside activities, I like swimming, I guess. And, er...erm…” 

I looked down, abundantly aware of how lame I must sound to him. “I’m sorry. I don’t really get up to much. There’s stuff to do, but that requires money and I don’t have a lot of that right now. Most of what I make goes to pay the rent and food shopping, and...”

Deciding any chance I had with Finn was up in smoke, I threw in a self-depreciating “Heh, if you want proof of how sad a person I am, I also like Lego and K'Nex.” I shrugged. “What can I say? They’re fun and creative.”

“And, in answer to your last question, it’s not everyone or people I like. Just you.”

I took out my purse, ready to pay and go. I really didn’t see any point in continuing this date, not when Finn had probably already decided I wasn’t for him. And I wouldn’t blame him. I didn’t like myself or my life, why should I expect him to?

***

_Watching and listening as Teagan told me about herself, there was this sense of...self-loathing that didn't belong. That she’d been taught to think anything about herself was wrong or terrible rubbed me entirely the wrong way._

_I put my hands over hers as she pulled out her purse, sensing she was ready to flee._

***

I froze as Finn’s hand came back to rest on my own right one. A gentle gesture that both reassured and trapped me.

***

_“First off, I’m honored that you’re so inquisitive. There’s a lot I’d like to know about you, too. Second...who doesn’t like Lego? I mean, I don't have a lot of K’Nex -the motorized roller-coaster set is still a personal favorite - but I love building Lego.”_

_Also true. Helps me pass the time when things are slow._

***

As I listened to him speak, the wretchedness I felt about myself became too much and my eyes started to water. Which, in turn, made me feel even worse as I knew how pathetic I must have looked then.

I half gasped, half scoffed when he told me he loved Lego. _Yeah right!_  

“Yo-You're just saying that to make me feel better,” I accused, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

***

_I shook my head reassuringly. ”I can show you a few I’ve built, if that helps. Got a few pictures. As a matter of fact, this gives me a great idea for our next date.”_

***

I suddenly caught the barista from before peeking at us. She quickly got back to work when she knew I knew she was watching, but I could tell from the smug smile on her face and spring in her step that she thought Finn had dumped me.

_Great, just great. Is anyone else having fun watching me crash and burn?_

All of this left my mind when I heard Finn’s last words.

_He… He wants to go on another date? Why!? I don't understand! Why does he like me? What is he seeing in me that I’m not!?_

“Seriously?” I asked in a weak voice. “You...you really want to go on another date with someone like me…?” 

***

_“Teagan...let me explain something to you: I don’t mince words, and I certainly don't just say things to make people feel better. Pretty sure I'm the biggest shit-starter at work.”_

_I lightly touched two fingers to her chin and slowly turned her eyes back to mine. They were wet with light traces of tears. “So I hope you’ll believe me when I say that I am definitely into Lego.”_

_A surprised laugh escaped her. “And I don’t want a date with ‘someone like you.’ I want a second date with you, Teagan Dunn. I want us to have dinner, build things at Legoland, and go for a walk. And I would feel extremely lucky if you said yes.”_

***

It took me a few seconds to respond as I was so overwhelmed. I’d never been in this kind of situation before and I was finding it something of a emotional roller-coaster.

A shaky smile found its way back onto my face at Finn’s declaration.

_Alright, Finn Bálor, have it your way._

Clasping my hands together, I let out an exaggerated sigh as I pretended to give his offer of a second date some consideration. And then, in a serious tone, as if I were a businesswoman sealing a important deal, I announced, “I think I can do dinner and Legoland.”

A grin broke out on my face soon after, one that mirrored Finn’s.

We called it a day at Starbucks after that.

***

_By the time I’d left her at her door, we’d made a date for tomorrow night. I would pick her up around 6:30, and we'd go to dinner at a place of her choosing._

_I walked around for awhile, taking in the mid-afternoon air. Things were going exactly as planned, with more planning to do._

_As I walked along the street, I contemplated a few things about people and why our world would always be too much for them to comprehend._

_But what never fails to amaze me about humans are the various things they will put down to God's will - or blame the Devil - before they ever own up to it._

_Don't believe me? Explain the point of the Crusades._

_No?_

_How about The Spanish Inquisition?_

_Nothing?_

_Alright. How about Jonestown?_

_Or how about the millions of people walking around with scarred psyches because they believe that an eternal being has nothing better to do with His time than sit on His massive ass and judge everyone for (ultimately) stupid reasons? And that’s when not treating Him like a genie granting wishes for proper prayers._

_Even God would have face-palmed. I’m sure He probably did._

_Teagan, most assuredly, had a scarred psyche. This would be more of a challenge than I anticipated._

_With others, it was easy to subvert them to their darkest, deepest base desires. Even easier when playing upon their weakened possession of self._

_But Teagan? She was different. And apparently not the void-apparent I thought she was._

_Today, when I made mention of wanting a second date, I saw her soul glimmer. No flickering. A solid, shining glimmer of light in her soul. That doesn’t happen unless..._

_I'll be damned twice over. This changes things._

_It’s very possible that I’ve stumbled upon a very shiny needle in a haystack. Not corrupted, just very heavily dimmed. Which is a rarity indeed._

_She was a cracked work of pottery, one that was still disintegrating at a stunning rate, and it appeared the Potter had capriciously left His work to fucked-up caretakers._

_So in order for this to work, the cracks need filling. The art must be finished, seen for the masterpiece she is..._

_...and_ **then** I’ll break her.


	3. Second Guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second chance for a first impression.

“Soooo? How was the date?” Dawn pressed the second I called to let her know I was back home.

As expected, she wanted all the juicy details, something that I found myself hesitant to divulge. Unlike our meeting in the park, the date was had been a more intimate affair. It’d brought up raw emotions and wounds in me, both old and new, and I wasn't sure I was ready to bare that all again, even to Dawn.

So, I kept it simple. “Well, good news is that he clearly likes me enough that he wants to go on a second date.”

I held the receiver away from my ear as Dawn started squealing.  “Oh my God, that’s amazing! Tea, I’m so proud of you! This calls for a celebration! I’m going to get the girls’ together and we’re going to spend the whole night  _ PARTYING! _ Oh and you’ve got to come to this one. No take backsies!”

I grimaced.  _ God no! _

Being stuck in a crowded club with music blaring so loud I had to yell to be heard sounded like my idea of hell. I liked my space and I liked being able to hear my own thoughts -

especially after a childhood spent frequently hiding away in my room while my parents yelled at me through the door about what a disappointment and mistake onto their life I was.

More than that, I really wasn’t thrilled at the idea of seeing Dawn’s friends. Though she would insist they were my friends too, a sentiment that was sweet of her, I cared to disagree. I knew them by association with her and that’s where our common ground ended. That wasn't to say they weren’t nice - they were (well, except for one…) - it’s just I had a tendency to end up the third wheel/odd-one-out whenever she invited them along, or I with them.

Good thing I had a ‘Get out of jail free’ card. “That's really nice, but our second date is tonight, so I’m afraid it’s going to have to wait.”

Dawn was even more thrilled, if that were possible. “Ooooh, check you out! My sweet, shy Teagan is finally coming out of her shell!”

“So, tell me more. What kind of stuff did you talk about?”

When I told her, Dawn response was akin to if I’d just told her her Facebook had been hacked. “ _ Please  _ don't tell me you really said that. You  _ actually _ told him you were unemployed and like to play with Lego?!” When I didn’t respond quick enough, she groaned loudly. “ _ Urgh! _ Teagan, what were you thinking!? There are dos and don’ts in dating and that was a big NO-NO!”

“What, you’re saying I should have lied?!” I shot back, slightly annoyed. I was embarrassed enough earlier, I didn’t need Dawn adding onto that.

“No! Just don’t be so brutally honest about yourself! You’re trying to show him the best of yourself, not the worst! Everyone does it! Did you at least take my advice about staying confident?”

“I...might have gotten a bit emotional.”

Dawn huffed on the other end. “Go figures. No offense, Tea, but it’s kind of a miracle you have another date with this guy. I suppose you must be doing something right, buuuut…”

“But what?” I felt myself becoming indignant. 

“Promise me you won’t get upset, but I’ve been on a lot of dates with men, Tea, and, if they really want something, they’ll say whatever the woman wants to hear to get it. Are you positive this guy’s being completely honest with you? That he isn’t hiding something?”

I felt my stomach twist. I didn’t want to hear this. “Ye-Yeah. He’s a nice guy-”

“Nice doesn’t always mean good. Look, I know you’re seeing him tonight and I don’t want to ruin that, especially if he’s as good a guy as you say he is. All I’m saying is, don’t be so naive. There are a lot of guys out there who prey on girls like you. I’m just looking out for you. You’ve been burned before, I don’t want that to happen again. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah…I know. And don’t worry, I won’t. Finn’s different.” I insisted, even though, truthfully, I really had no basis to think such a thing. I just didn’t want to consider that my friend might be right. “I’ll be fine.”

I could tell by the silence on Dawn’s end that she didn’t believe me.

***

“Finn’s different. I’ll be fine.”

_ I stood in Teagan’s living room, listening to her ‘friend’ try to give her advice. Invisibility - what a wonderful concept. _

_ I found it hilarious, considering Dawn hadn’t been on a proper date in months, and her last boyfriend dropped her for being, and I quote, “ _ **_a clingy, high-maintenance airhead with nothing useful to contribute to society, let alone a conversation._ ** _ ” _

_ Of course, she eventually changed the story so it sounded like she dumped him instead, and she sticks to it even now. Ah, the fragility of the human ego. _

_ Basically, Dawn is the  _ **_last_ ** _ person on earth to get dating advice from. _

_ How did she even get a friend like Teagan? _

_ Oh, right. Low self-esteem. Dawn picks Teagan apart to make herself feel better, and Teagan takes the abuse because at least she has a friend. _

_ And now I knew precisely where to begin Teagan’s reconstruction _ .

_ I’d be sure to pay Dawn a visit once this was all over and give her my regards for her part in poor, sweet Teagan’s fate.  _

***

“Thanks again for watching Matty, Teagan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Mrs. McDermott chirped as she returned home from her weekly book club.

“Happy to help,” I smiled, packing up my stuff, but not before giving her little five year old, Matthew, a high five. Compared to some of the other children I’d had to babysit, little Matty was nothing short of precious.

“Same time next Tuesday still okay for you?” Mrs. McDermott asked as she paid me for my two hours.

“Definitely, but, if anything comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

I smiled, waving goodbye to the mother and son. Once they’d closed the door, I took out my phone and checked my babysitting job for the day as completed. One of the few perks that came from doing the odd jobs here and there (Dog-walking, babysitting, helping with cleaning or decorating, etc) was that the times were at least flexible. While others would be in their jobs from 9am to 6pm, or later and earlier, I now had my whole day free.

My attention was still focused on my phone, so it wasn’t any surprise when I suddenly collided right into someone.

It was a bearded, portly man dressed in white trousers and Hawaiian shirt worn over a black tank top. A bit out of place in a town like this, especially considering the weather rarely warranted such attire, but it was nothing compared to his two companions. On his left stood a man dressed like a trucker and who looked a little on the deranged side. On his right was a man in dirty green overalls, and wearing a sheep's mask of all things.

“Sorry, sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I apologised, hoping I hadn’t pissed them off too much.

The man with the sheep's mask started to silently approach me.

I took a step back.  _ Oh dear, maybe I have... _

Before he could do anything, the man I bumped into barked out, “ _ Erick! _ Leave her be!”, halting him in his tracks. It was a little disturbing how this Erick followed his orders without question, as if he were a machine rather than a human. 

Meanwhile, in the distance, I heard my name called out - it was Dawn. I hadn’t talked to her since our phone call yesterday afternoon, resenting her for her ‘tough love’ approach, and trying to put ideas into my head, however, in that moment, I couldn't have been more relieved to see her.

I sped off in her direction, aiming to get as far away from these three strange men as possible.

Later, as Dawn and I were walking off, I glanced back at the trio, only to see that they were still staring at me, the man I bumped into chuckling to himself as if he’d heard a particularly amusing joke... 

***

_ Most people would be surprised to know how well organized Hell can be. It's not unlike a company. After spending the entirety of the afternoon in meetings, appointments with new recruits, and a few - *ahem* - ‘firings’, I prepared for my evening with Teagan. _

_ I kept it simple with clothing, opting for a white dress shirt, a black blazer, and pressed blue jeans. _

_ The perks of working in acquisitions is the useful ability to get anything you want. Everything was within reach. Money, cars, and other forms of extravagance took next to nothing to attain. _

 

_ It really is good to be the King. _

_ For Teagan, I decided to go for well-to-do but not flashy. I chose a car in an understated dark red, appropriately known as The Demon. _

_ Alright, so it's not technically out yet. Concept cars aren't hard to come by. And I liked it.  _

_ I walk up to her door with a bouquet of white tulips, and knocked three times. _

***

I hurriedly shoved the mascara I’d been using back into my small, striped makeup bag as I heard the knocks on my door signalling Finn’s arrival.

I checked my reflection one last time. With Dawn’s help, I’d chosen a black, lace-top evening dress that reached to my knees, as well as styled my hair up into a nice braid. I actually looked pretty classy, if I do say so myself, though I wish I didn’t have to wear high heels with the outfit (I could feel the blisters forming already).

_ Alright, all set. Let’s do this! _

“Hey, nice to see you ag-” I greeted Finn as I opened the door, but paused when I saw the bouquet of flowers he was holding.

“Oh, are those for me?” I blurted out without thinking. I scorned myself immediately after for asking such a moronic question.  _ Noooo, he just bought them for the hell of it. Of course they’re for you, stupid! _

I lightly touched one of the white petals with my finger. “They’re lovely… Thank you...” 

***

_ Teagan looked positively gorgeous, a polished jewel among rhinestones. _

_ “They're not as lovely as you, though. You look truly stunning, Teagan,” I replied as I handed her the flowers. _

***

As if on cue, my cheeks reddened. “Are you  _ trying _ to see how many times you can make me blush? Because if you are, you’re succeeding.” Inside, however, I was over the moon. I’d spent ages getting ready for tonight’s date, it was nice to know all that effort had paid off.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back!” I said, closing the door again.  

I quickly deposited the bouquet of tulips into my kitchen sink - I’d find a nice vase to put them in when I returned home later - and set a reminder on my phone to water them. I’ve had too many flowers die from neglect, I refused to let the same happened to this bouquet.

“Next time, I get the gift for you.” I promised as I returned to Finn. “...You know,  _ if _ there’s a next time.” I added, not wanting him to think me presumptuous.

Taking a cautious step forward, I managed all of four steps before I tripped. “Shit, shit!”

_ Why the hell did I agree to wear these? I swear, if I don’t fall and break my neck or ankle, I’m going to  _ **_kill_ ** _ Dawn! _

“I know I must look like a complete idiot right now, but, in my defence, it was my best friend’s idea. She told me high heels worked with the outfit.” I said over my shoulder to Finn, who seemed barely able to contain his laughter. “Clearly, she’s a liar.”

I struggled to stand back up. “Little help here?” 

***

_ I quickly went to her side and, rather than help Teagan back to her feet, I scooped her up into a side carry - which elicited a gasp of surprise - and set her on the couch inside her living room. The heels probably weren't the best choice, and she didn't need to sprain an ankle. _

_ “You don't look like an idiot at all. And as much as I appreciate what you've put into your look, I would hate for you to be this uncomfortable all night. Plus,” I lightly chuckled, “you really don't need the gait of a shaky baby gazelle to be impressive.” _

_ I looked around and caught sight of a sensible pair of black dress flats by the door. Before she could protest, I removed her killer heels and swiftly exchanged them for the much kinder option. _

_ She watched, stunned, as I slip them onto her feet. “How's that? Better?” _

***

I nodded, momentarily lost for words.

Finn kneeling down in front of me like this has got to be closest I’ve being in proximity to him yet. He was so near that his beautiful blue eyes were all I could see, as were his rich, pink lips. I wondered what it’d be like to kiss them...I’d never kissed a man before (I’d only ever received a peck on the lips, which didn’t really count.).

And then there was his shaggy brown hair…

Without thinking, I reached out and petted the top of it. Gently, carefully. I smiled - it was every bit as soft as it looked, as I knew it would be. For a split second, I imagined running a hand through it-

My eyes widened as I came to my senses and I quickly withdrew my hand. “Sorry, I just - I should have asked…”

I dropped it. I decided leaving it there and carrying on as normal would be a far better approach than to keep apologising or explaining myself. We had a date to go on, after all, and I’d already kept us longer than planned because of my inability to walk in Dawn’s stupid, ridiculously expensive heels.

“So, er, now that that’s out of the way, shall we go?”

***

_ “No worries, Teagan. None at all.” _

_ She thought she was being forward. I counted that as progress. _

_ I wanted her to be the one to initiate contact. And I wanted her to chase what she desired. _

_ In a move of turnabout, I reached up and pushed a tuft of her soft hair away from her face and, with light fingertips, brushed it back behind her ear, grazing the outer shell. _

_ “Yeah, we can go,” I agreed with a smile. _

***

My hand flew to my ear and the strand of hair he’d touched just now. I hadn’t expected him to do that, and maybe that was a good thing, because, if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from cupping his palm to me, from kissing his fingertips…

_ God, I wish he’d undo my braid, wind his hand through my hair, tug my head back to look up at him, and then order me to- _

_ No, no, no! Stop it! _

I clenched my fists, willing the thoughts to stop. It wasn’t right. No decent human being should have such lustful desires, let alone a woman. Isn’t that what my mother said? Had I already forgotten everything that happened that day she found me-

Jumping from the couch, I hurried out of the house to get some fresh air. A second longer inside, reminiscing such unpleasantness, and I feared I would have thrown up.

_ Don’t think about it. Take all those dirty, ugly thoughts and push them down until they’re on the ground, then bury them all away. You have to. Because if you don’t, everyone will see you for what you really are. Disgusting… Abnormal… Sick, sick,  _ **_SICK!_ **

Resting my hand on the car parked outside my house - presumably Finn’s - I closed my eyes, hoping I’d have things under control by the time he came outside.

Eventually, I managed to get myself back to normal. Sure, there was the ever unpleasant lingering revulsion mixed in with frustration, mentally and sexually, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I’d years of experience repressing, and I’d rather that then then go through the emotional pain I went through the last time I gave into my urges.

Seeing Finn approach me, I quickly smile and act like nothing out of the ordinary happened.  

“Nice car,” I say as I get settled into the passenger seat.

“By the way, what kind of food do you eat? I’m just asking because I was thinking about that new Italian place that just opened up? I hear the food is really good and it’s not too expensive. Plus, they prepare your meal right in front of you. Isn’t that cool? I’ve wanted to go there for a while, but…my friend, Dawn, wouldn’t go. She said she doesn’t see the point if it doesn’t have a drinks bar involved.” I explained. 

That was one of the annoying things about Dawn. She always had first-pick, always got to decide the outing. If not, it wasn’t happening, simple as that.

***

_ I could read the shift in her thinking without her saying a word. The internal struggle can be a cruel overseer. _

_ “Sounds wonderful. And I'm not particular about food - it's better to ask what I  _ **_won't_ ** _ devour,” I joked, hoping to lighten her mood as we pulled away from her home. _

_ “Seriously, my tastes are all over the place. Italian, Mediterranean, Irish, Creole - I enjoy it all. Do you have any favorite foods?” _

***

I couldn’t know for sure if he hadn’t seen my mini-freak out just now, but, if he had, I was grateful that he chose not to bring any attention to it. I remember the one time I had one in front of Dawn and she proceeded to spend the next hour mercilessly interrogating me, as if I had something contagious that she might catch.

“Asian,” I replied without hesitation to Finn’s query. “Chinese, Thai, Japanese, I love it. Plus, it’s really easy to whip up when you’re in the mood for it.”

For much of the car ride into town, I spent it lounging in the seat, feeling the wind blow against my face and enjoying the steady, lulling pace of the car. When I wasn’t talking to Finn, I was gazing out the window, watching the people go by.

“There’s the place.” I pointed a finger at the restaurant so he would know where to park. “I hope it’s not too busy.”

Just then, my phone received a text message. Opening it up, I saw it was from Dawn, asking me what place I’d chosen in the end. I texted her back quickly before putting my phone on ‘Do not Disturb’ mode.

Pocketing my phone, I turned to Finn. “Ready?”

Though I did not look it on the outside, on the inside I was a woman on a mission. Dawn’s words of warning yesterday had unsettled me and, try as I might to convince myself that it was nonsense, I remembered my own feelings of misgivings on my first date with Finn. I’d even told him himself that I feared the whole thing was too good to be true. 

Even so, I liked Finn Bálor. I refused to not give him a chance just because Dawn had her suspicions. It wasn’t like she had even met him. 

_ She’s wrong. I’ll prove it to her, _ I thought resolutely to myself.

***

_ The goal tonight was, quite simply, fun. Lighthearted conversation with good food was an experience that often brought people together and established a certain degree of comfort. _

_ The restaurant was clean and modern, with an earthy aesthetic of greens and grays that didn't seem boring. There were woodfire ovens in view of the patrons, and the scent of savory foods balanced with the burn of logs. _

_ We were escorted to a booth by a pleasant server, right across from said ovens, able to witness the spectacle. _

_ “I like this place already, Teagan - you've chosen wonderfully,” I praised. A light blush touched her cheeks. _

_ I wondered how often she'd received compliments. On her appearance, on her resourcefulness, on...anything at all, really. That tonight would have the most she'd possibly ever received in her life was, for lack of a better term, sad. _

***

“Well, I was going to suggest McDonald’s, until it occurred to me that Ronald McDonald’s statue might have killed the mood a bit.” I joked.

As we waited for the server to return with the menus, I sat and watched as the chefs went about preparing the other customer’s orders. It was fascinating watching them in action, seeing the intricate steps and time management involved. (It also reminded me why I’d never considered a career as a chef.)

“This is nice. Much nicer than Starbucks.” That barista and her blatant scornfulness towards me was still fresh in my mind.

***

_ “Starbucks wishes they had this kind of atmosphere.” _

_ The server brings our menus and takes our drink orders. I study Teagan for a moment, and I know she is worried about a similar incident happening tonight. I'm intent on making sure that worry wanders far from her mind. _

_ “So Teagan,” I began. “Tell me about the craziest thing to ever happen to you.” _

***

“The craziest?” 

A memory stirred inside me then…

_ I’m in my late teens. It’s around that time I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, Caleb. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom and I’m sobbing into the sink, not that my parents notice or even care. _

My mother loved Caleb. He was the perfect man in her eyes: A nice, respectable Christian, with a nice, respectable job, and who would go on to have nice, respectable Christian babies. As for my father, he made it no secret that he wished he’d had a son instead of a daughter. Caleb was more like family to him than I ever was.

How bittersweet, how unfair. When I finally did something right in their eyes by dating him, they  _ still _ treated me like an outsider. 

Of course, my relationship with Caleb never would have lasted. We were too different people and dating for all the wrong reasons - my parents approved of him and I craved their approval. And to him, I was the safe option.

...Plus there was the cheating, which I find ironic considering he was such a stickler for his faith, but I guess people will justify anything for the sins they commit. My mother placed the blame solely on me - for the infidelity  _ and _ eventual breakup. According to her, “I was a failure of a woman.” Always had been, always would be.

It was around that point that I realised that nothing I did would ever satisfy my mother. I could practically become a nun or saint and she’d still say I was a disappointment.

One day, I couldn’t take it anymore…

_ I didn’t do a lot of things you see done in movies and such when someone slits their wrists. I didn’t lock the door, I didn’t run a bath and lie in it and wait to die. And I didn’t write out a note detailing why I did what I did. _

_ I just  _ **_did it._ **

Luckily for me, the only reason I’m still alive today was because I botched it up. I still remember the first thing out of my mother’s mouth when I returned home: _ “If you want forgiveness and mercy, I suggest you pray to the Lord Almighty, because you’ll be getting none of it from me.” _

Of course, I couldn’t tell Finn any of this.

So, I went for another, less crazy incident. “Hmmm… I’d have to say the time I tried to see how long I could go without any sleep. My friend, Dawn, was dared to and she roped me into it. It sounds so stupid now, but at the time it seemed fun.”

I held up three fingers. “I lasted three days. I remember the third day was just torture, I kept zoning out. I knew it was time to throw in the towel when I started hallucinating, haha.”

***

_ “Yeah, when things start to look like an LSD-induced nightmare, that's when you should probably get some sleep,” I chuckled. Of course I'd seen the distance in her eyes, but I wouldn’t press the matter. She would open up when she was ready. _

_ This was about making her feel comfortable and secure. So I opted to entertain her. “This almost seems so juvenile, looking back, but at the time it was hilarious. So years ago, me and two of my friends went to Edinburgh, did a pub crawl, got pretty well hammered. It's nighttime and we decided to go to the Highlands and find out if the Loch Ness Monster was real. _

_ “So we're out there, looking over the waters. There's moonlight so we can see the surface and all. And they're peering over the edge, looking for any sign of Nessie. They're so distracted they don't see me sneaking up on them when I push them. They don't fall, and it scares the hell out of them, but I can't stop laughing. It was so bad I didn't realize that I'd pissed my pants laughing. Guess that's what happens when you and your friends are consummate pranksters.” _

_ (It wasn't the whole story. But  _ **_you_ ** _ try telling a human that your two friends are demons, that “Nessie” is very real, and that the pub swill was such weak sauce that you drank a former angel's home-brewed libations and it fucked with your head so much that you weren't exactly walking on land when you decided to shove them closer to the testy, millenniums-old sea beast. Good luck getting past even the first line without getting laughed at, or the psychiatric ward called. Teagan wasn't even ready to accept her own self-worth, let alone spiritual warfare, into her worldview. Baby steps.) _

***

“Oh my God, that’s hilarious!” I giggled. The whole story was over the top, and yet I could see it happening easily - Finn drunk and mucking around with his boys. Much like his story about his family, it endeared me to him all the more. At the end of the day, he was still just a a guy who did regular, stupid things like the rest of us.

“It’s a good thing they didn’t fall in. I imagine the water would have been freezing at that time of night. ...That and they probably would have killed you.”

Our drinks arrived by this point. I thanked the waitresses and took a sip from my glass of coke before turning back to Finn. It was my turn to ask a question, and I knew exactly what one to ask him.

“Okay, what would you say you’re most afraid of? What about when you were a child?”

I was quite curious to hear his answer. They do say you can tell a lot about a person from what they consider to be their strong-points and their failings, etc. and I wanted to know everything I possibly could about Finn Bálor.

***

_ “Asking the tough, penetrating  questions,” I grinned, taking a swallow of sweet iced tea before I responded. _

_ “When I was a child, I wasn't bothered by much. Things that scared most people - thunderstorms, spiders, the dark, clowns, death, garden gnomes - only ever made me laugh and more curious to learn about everything around me. So I had grown up running headlong into everything. Good thing I had such a hard head back then, heh!” _

_ “But as I got older, I learned there was plenty to fear. Loss, rejection, failure, betrayal... loneliness. What scares me most, more than those things, is losing who I am. I can deal with everything else, but...I've always hated the thought of not being me anymore, if that makes sense?” _

***

“Yeah, it does,” I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with him. “I don’t blame you. You see it with celebrities all the time, right? They get big, have all this fame and fortune and worship thrown at them, and it changes them for the worse. They forget who they are, where they came from...”

I took a sip of my coke. “I wasn’t afraid of stuff like the dark, death, and clowns when I was a kid, either, believe it or not.” My smile turned bitter, “No, I was afraid of demons and going to Hell. ...My parents were...are... _ were _ bible-bashers, and my mother was always trying to ‘scare the wickedness’ out of me. And if I  _ really _ made her mad she’d go into all kinds of detail on the gruesome ways I’d be tortured in Hell when I died.”

“‘ _ Wicked child! Go to your bedroom and pray for your immortal soul at once or the Devil will cast you into the eternal flames and flay the dirty skin from your bones! _ ’ Well you get the idea,” I said after imitating my mother’s shrill, harsh tone.

“Some of the kids at school used to make fun of me. I wasn’t bullied or anything, but, you know what kids are like. They notice anyone who’s different and they’ll pick on them. In my case, they’d pretend they were possessed by a demon just to freak me out, or tell me one was going around eating kids up and I was next.”

Not wanting to be a total killjoy, as Dawn would say, I forced a smile on myself. “Anyway, that’s all in the past. That kind of stuff doesn’t scare me anymore. Even if demons do exist, I’m pretty sure they have better things to do than waste their time on someone like me. The things I’m afraid of now aren’t actual things, per se. It’s more the threat of things, if that makes sense? Like, I’m terrified of finding myself in a situation I have no way of escaping from. Or something being never-ending. That’s what always scared me the most about Hell, growing up. Not the punishments you suffered, but the fact that it never ended. You’re just stuck there, for all eternity.”

“Anyway, now that that pleasantness is over, back to you.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood I was sure I had already dampened.

I’d only intended to tell Finn an abridged version -  _ grew up with zealot parents. Fuck my life, right? _ \-  but, once I got started, I hadn’t been able to stop. Truth be told, it actually felt kind of nice unloading onto another person like this.

***

_ Humans really are fascinating creatures. They could be all duct tape and safety pins inside, yet still move about their lives even when the damage bleeds through the cracks. _

_ Teagan’s parents weren't fit to be demons in Hell. They weren't even fit to clean the shit from the groundlings’ feet. They’re better off as perpetual entertainment for the groundlings, getting flayed but never dying, skin growing back only to be flayed again. Preparations are already being made. _

_ I reached for her hand and held it carefully in mine, running the pad of my thumb across her knuckles. “That had to be hard for you growing up. It's amazing how cruel people can be, especially when there's religion involved. You didn’t deserve any of that, Teagan. Not at all. And I’m glad you shared that with me. That’s not an easy thing to talk about. And you know what else? I'm glad you came out with me tonight.” I smiled at her, if only to put her at ease. _

_ She wasn’t wrong about Hell, though. The tedium and repetitive punishment was part of the eternal torment. But she had nothing to fear. I wouldn't let that be her fate. No one else would have their way with her. _

***

A warmth spread through me, both at his kind words and the feeling of thumb stroking my palm. I hadn’t expected him to be so understanding, so caring. I was used to empty words of condolence, to being kept at arm’s length, or not being associated with at all. That’s how it was when I was a child. The other kid’s mothers were nice up until they found out whose child I was, then I suddenly wasn’t allowed over or invited to any birthday parties.

_ It’s hard to have any kind of life when everyone around you is hellbent on shutting you out… _

I gulped, trying to contain the emotions welling up within me again. I cried on the last date, I won’t do the same on this one. I refuse to let my past ruin my present and a potential future with this man. 

Thankfully, this time, I succeeded in keeping it all in.

“Thank you,” I squeezed his hand. “That means a lot to me.”

The server returned around this point, asking if we’re ready to take our orders. We were, although I found that I would gladly go another half hour just talking to Finn like this.

Regardless, I say which meal I’d like - creamy chicken ravioli.

I’m still holding Finn’s hand. I don’t want to let go, I’m enjoying the sensation of his warm, soft skin against my own.

“I believe it’s your turn to ask the question.” I reminded.

***

_ I ordered my meal - the house's bison burger, medium rare - and returned my attention to Teagan. _

_ “It is,” I agreed, still holding her hand. “Since we're getting to know one another so well...tell me what you're thinking right now. You don't have to, though I'm genuinely curious. Your mind is always going, always thinking. If you were to freeze it in place now, what thoughts would be there?” _

***

Keeping my eyes set on our entwined hand, I paused, enjoying the moment, before confessing, “I’m thinking I really like you.” My smile wavered ever so slightly. “But I’m also thinking, ‘What if Dawn’s right?’ She… She doesn’t trust you. She thinks you’re hiding something.”

I pulled my hand away, resting it on my lap. The cool air brushes against it, and I want nothing more than to return it back to the warmth of Finn’s hand.

“I’m thinking, ‘What could it possibly be?’” 

*** 

_ I missed the feel of her hand in mine when she withdrew it. It was a curious feeling, but not unwelcome. _

_ She wasn't wrong. I maintain my position on Dawn being a horrible friend, however. But again, baby steps. _

_ I leaned forward, considering her words. “I can understand your friend's concern,” I began, swallowing my distaste for Dawn. “She's looking out for you, as a friend does. And if I'm hiding anything, it's only because it's something I'm not ready to share yet. There are things in my life that...I'm not proud of, that aren't pretty or nice. And I really like you, too. I just don't want to scare you away or make you feel uneasy about me.  Does that make any sense?” _

***

It did, and it was a sentiment I more than understood. I, too, had aspects of my life I didn’t want to divulge with him for fear it’d drive him away. It’d be the height of hypocrisy if I were to condemn him for keeping secrets from me when I was doing the exact same thing.

_ But what if the thing he’s hiding is going to hurt you in the end?  _ My fears whispered back.

This time, I didn’t let its voice reach me. This was the first good thing to happen to me in a very long time. After spending damn near most of my life trapped in a tunnel of despair, I finally felt as if I was starting to see the light at the end. That things could only get better from here. Why ruin it?

I smiled softly at Finn. “It makes complete sense. Don’t worry, whatever it is, I don’t expect you to tell me. Not unless you want to. This right now…this is good enough for me.”

“An-Anyway, moving on!” I said quickly when I felt another blush coming on - this sure was becoming a common occurrence around Finn Bálor. “Here’s a fun question for you: What’s your dream job?”

***

_ I laughed. If she blushed anymore, I’d think she was a strawberry. _

_ “Dream job, huh? Hmmm…” I over exaggerated my gestures, as if I were seriously pondering the question. Scratching the scruff on my face, twisting my lips, tapping a finger against my nose. She broken into a giggle at that one.  _

_ “I’d have to say...a wrestler. Before you laugh and say it’s fake, it’s also exciting and takes a lot of skill and athleticism. To be able to tell a story with your movements, to trust your partner, to experience that adrenaline rush, the thrill of forcing someone to submit...”  _

_ Another swallow of iced tea. “How about you?” _

***

“Oh, I’d never say that. I mean, there’s nothing fake about all the effort the wrestlers go to, or the bumps and injuries they suffer.” I replied seriously, sensing that this was something he felt very passionately about. “I actually agree with you. Wrestling’s a lot harder than it looks, it takes a really strong person, mentally and physically, to dedicate themselves to being one.” My face softened. “I think you would have made a good wrestler.”

When it came time for me to give my answer, I gulped nervously. I’d completely forgotten I’d have to answer the question, too. Was it too late to pass?

I had a dream job, but it wasn’t what you would call...conventional. In fact, I don’t think it was even  _ feasible _ . It wasn’t anything outrageous by any means - in fact, depending on who you asked, it was a perfectly modest job to wish for - but it wasn’t something suited for a girl. It wasn’t something I should openly admit.

“I can’t tell you.” I looked down. “You’ll laugh.”

***

_ “I won't laugh,” I replied sincerely. “Hey.” I reached under Teagan’s chin and slowly lifted her eyes back up to meet mine. “You can tell me. I won't laugh or judge you. You're safe with me.” _

***

I blinked at him, trying to find any falsehood in what he’s saying. I don’t. I saw only earnestness, the honest desire to hear what I have to say.

“Okay.” I brace myself, take a deep breath…

...And then I spit it out.

“A tailor. A suits tailor, to be exact.” I looked up through my eyelashes at Finn, bracing myself for the incredulous “ _ What the fuck?! _ ” reaction that’s sure to come. Instead, I see him smiling at me, not with mockery, but honest to God wonder.

Encouraged, I continued. “I like suits. ...And I like men and women in suits,” I smiled cheekily, “ _ especially _ men. I could stare at a man in a suit all day.” I cleared my throat, getting back on track. “It’s hard to put into words, but I love how a well-made suit can bring out the best in anyone. There’s so many fashions out there which only look good on certain people, but suits? Everyone’s equal, everyone looks great.”

I sighed wistfully. “I really wanted to become a tailor. I went about learning the trade, practised and got really good at it.  I even made my own suit. ...Then my parents found out and, well, that was the end of that.” My expression darkened, remembering how my father, thinking my interest in such a profession meant I was secretly gay or transgender, tore it to pieces before my eyes. “Only men can become tailors. As a woman, the only thing I should aspire to is getting married and becoming a meek, obedient housewife who keeps her opinions to herself. As you can guess, my parents never got with the times.” 

Everyone had a dream job that could have been had they decided to pursue. I did not. My dream would forever be closed off to me because of circumstances I had no control over. It was a bitter truth to swallow.

***

_ I looked her over, pleased. This was a breakthrough, and it filled me with a sense of pride to see her coming forth like this. _

_ Then, “I think that's a wonderful aspiration. You would be great at it. What's stopping you from pursuing it now? You're out here, surely with all those glorious ideas and designs in that beautiful mind of yours. You absolutely should.” _

_ Feeling a bit bold, I held a palm to her cheek, just light enough to give her the choice to push it away if she desired. _

_ “And, to be quite honest, you’re so much more than what your parents raised you to be. They should have let you grow up happy and exploring what makes you who you are. You're a lovely, vibrant woman, Teagan. And you should be living your dream right now. You deserve to.” _

***

Ever so slightly, I leaned my cheek into his palm.

“I can’t,” I whispered dejectedly.

Finn’s words of encouragement brought forth a great happiness in me...but also a great sadness. I knew, no matter how much he told me I should try and make my dream a reality, and how many times I convinced myself he was right, that it would never come true. Believing in yourself and never giving up was all well and good, but this was the real world and the odds were rigged against me.

“I tried. I sent out my CV for apprenticeships...but the second I got to the interview stage and they saw that T.Dunn was actually a female, they refused to give me a chance.”

One particular interview stood out in my mind. My interviewer ended up giving me a lecture for ‘dishonestly’ applying and wasting his time. Told me to get my head out of a fantasy world, that I could be the best in my field at tailoring and it wouldn’t be worth a darn because I wasn’t a man.

Was it the truth? Or was it misogyny? I didn’t know, but either way that, coupled with my parents disapproval, discouraged me completely.

I smiled weakly, trying to convince him I was fine. “And you know what? It’s fine. I accepted a long time ago that my dream job was never going to come true. And it’s not like I can’t do anything else. I could always pursue a career in remodelling? Or, who knows, I might take my experience in babysitting to the next level and become a carer or teacher. That’d be nice.”

“And besides...it’s been so long since I tried my hand at tailoring. I’m probably not very good at it anymore.”

***

_ “Well...how about we test that theory, hm?” I knew what was going to come out next was going to meet some resistance. But it was also another needed dent in Teagan’s wall. “What if I commissioned you to make a suit for me?” _

***

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open.  _ Me? Make a suit for him?! _

“You can’t be serious.” I deadpanned.

Finn’s expression didn’t falter, making it quite clear that, yes, he was  _ very _ serious about this. I struggled to respond, a multitude of emotions fighting to get out of me. A part of me was thrilled, my creative juices already flowing at the thought of what kind suit I could make. But there was another part that had no faith in my own skills, that was certain it’d be a failure.

“I...I don’t know, Finn. I mean, it’s very kind of you to offer, but…” I bit my lip. “I don’t know if I can go through the disappointment again. I poured my heart and soul into the only suit I ever made and it was all for nothing…”

***

_ “I'm serious, Teagan. No one dreams idly about the one thing they want to do with their lives. If it wasn't something you're passionate about, you would have forgotten it. But you didn't.” I continued emphatically,  “You studied, you've got the knowledge, and you have the skill. And fuck anyone who has ever said you couldn’t. They aren't - and could  _ **_never_ ** _ be - you.” _

_ The server brings our meals to the table, both as delicious-smelling as they are attractive. Before diving in, I said, “If I didn't believe in you, I wouldn't ask this of you, Teagan. Tell me what you need, and I'll make it happen.” _

***

I once heard - though I cannot remember where and by who - that there is a moment that occurs which changes everything. A single, defining moment where, for both parties, it isn’t just pure lust and attraction anymore, but now a blossoming romance that could lead to something so much more.

This was that moment for me.

Fighting myself not to leap over the table to throw my arms around Finn, I swallowed and replied, “If-If you have that much faith in me...then I guess there’s no way I can refuse.” A grin broke over my face. “Deal. I’m going to make you the best suit you’ll ever wear.”

Dinner was worth the wait, the food been every bit as delicious as I thought it’d be. I would be definitely be coming again, though when I didn’t know.

“So, if I’m not mistaken, Mr. Bálor, I believe you promised me a trip to Legoland.” I wrapped my arm around Finn’s. It was safe to say I now felt completely at ease around him, my previous insecurities now almost like a lie. “We still on for that?”

***

_ Teagan’s arm interlocked with mine, and she kept close to me as we left the restaurant. Definitely progress, and in leaps and bounds for this one. _

_ “Oh, we are definitely on for that, lovely.” I kissed the top of her head. “There's a couple new sets I'm dying to check out! Maybe we can pick one to do together -” _

_ Before I can finish the rest of that idea, I heard Teagan’s name being called. Rather obnoxiously, at that. _

_ I could only assume it was Dawn. _

_ And oh look, she brought the rest of her gaggle of geese with her. _

_ This should be fun. _


	4. All Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s all fun and games... until her friends show up.

“Teeeaaagaaan! Over heeere!”

Someone was calling out my name. It was coming from our left. I looked in that direction and froze as I saw not just Dawn, but her whole group of girlfriends heading our way.

_ No... Oh no. Oh no, no, no. _ I thought, starting to panic.

“Erm, Finn, let’s just go this way-” I tried to steer Finn back inside the restaurant, hoping we could take shelter in there until they’d given up on us coming out and left. Patience wasn’t a virtue Dawn was known for, so we wouldn’t have to wait long.

However, I acted too late. Before I can so much as reach the door, my friend was there, in front of us and drunk off her head, barely able to stand on her own two feet.

The rest of the girls weren’t fairing much better. “Hey, Tay-gun!” Samantha - she can never pronounce my name right - crowed to me, stumbling into Dawn. “What’s up, girl? Dawnie was telling us you’re on a date. Is that true?”

“I’ll be honest, I totally thought she was pulling our leg.” Laura, her usually neat brown curls in complete disarray, cackled. “I mean,  _ our _ Teagan? ‘Forever single and alone Teagan’ was actually asked out on a date? Get the fuck out of here!” She then shoved past me to look around, completely ignoring Finn standing next to me. I can only assume it’s because she doesn’t think it could possibly be him. “So, where’s the guy? Is he even real or did you just make it all up? You can tell me, Teagan, I won’t judge.”

“Oh my God, Laura, don’t be such a bitch!” Dawn slapped her playfully. “She’s just joking, Teagan, you know what she’s like.”

I said nothing, speechless with horror at the spectacle that was my loud, rude and drunken friends. After having such a lovely time with Finn, I felt as if God himself was giving me the finger by having them appear on the scene.

“Wh...What are you doing here?” I finally managed to choke out.

***

_ I cleared my throat and pulled Teagan by her hand from the drunken gathering. “You alright?”  _

 

_ She nodded, though the panic and embarrassment was evident in her expression. _

_ “Evening, ladies. I'm Finn, Teagan’s date,” I politely offered. It took an incredible amount of restraint not to tell them off to their wasted faces, but if they kept tearing her down, heads would surely roll. _

_ The commentary rolled off in rapid-fire succession. Not unlike clucking birds in a henhouse: _

**_“Holy shit, he's real! And he's with HER?”_ **

**_“Okay, how the hell did she score the Irish underwear model?”_ **

**_“Oh, you lucky bitch!”_ **

**_“Huh...guess you weren't hopeless after all. Good for you.”_ **

_ It's fair to say that these ladies - a term I use VERY loosely to describe them - weren't friends. Bitter, insecure, mediocre bitches without even a quarter of Teagan’s potential? Yes. _

_ Inside I grieved the fact that I couldn't kick them into a (literal) pit of vipers. _

_ If Teagan said the word, though? _

_ Done in a fucking heartbeat. _

***

I’d hoped, once Finn introduced himself, that might be the end of it. They would have their proof, take the hint that the date was still very much on, and leave us alone.

I was naive. They did not leave. Instead, it only spurred them on more. Within seconds, they were loudly “Ooo-ing” and “Aaaah-ing” over him like he was a piece of prized meat rather than a person with actual feelings. 

A hand wormed its way around my arm and pulled, separating me from Finn.

No surprises, it was Dawn. “Have to say, Tea, you scored the jackpot. I need to go the park more if that’s the kind of men going there now.”

“Dawn, why are you here? You knew I was on a date!” I hissed, tearing my arm away.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that! The girls and me were having a night out and we just decided to pay you a visit, see how you were getting on. That’s all! And besides, you promised you’d let me meet him. Rememberrrr?”

That was true, but it still didn’t excuse her hijacking my date. “It’ll have to be another time. You’re drunk, Dawn. And so are the others.”

“Am notttttt,” she insisted, even as she had to lean against the wall to remain upright.

All the while, the girls’ continued to pester Finn, having formed a circle around him. Any attempts to break through and get to him was met with resistance. I’d hoped they’d be easier to deal with considering they were inebriated, but, if anything, they were worse.

“Hey, listen, guys…” I tried to get their attention, all too aware that they were starting to cause a commotion. I tried again. “Guys,  _ please _ , you need to stop…”

And then, like a fire to the keg, I lost my temper. “GUYS, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!”

It did the trick...for all of five seconds.

And then their attention turned to me.

“ _ Oh. My. God. _ Did Teagan just swear?” Laura gasped in mock offence. “Like, where did that come from?”

“Oooh, looks like this kitten’s got claws.  _ Rawr! _ ” Samantha teased, evidently finding my growing vexation a source of amusement.

Dawn seemed perplexed. “Why are you being like this? I thought you were totally okay with us coming to see you. I sent you a text, like, an hour ago and you didn’t reply back telling me not to, so I took it as a yes.”

I closed my eyes. Her logic hurt my brain. I could already feel the beginnings of a headache coming on.

_ At least things couldn’t possibly get any worse. _ I thought to myself. 

Wrong again.

Jessica appeared on the scene.

***

_ I could already tell this was escalating into a situation that, if I were a lesser demon, there would have been three corpses. And a terrified Teagan fleeing the scene. _

_ Couldn’t have that, could we? _

_ I stepped out from the pair of clucking hens. One - Samantha, I think - tried to slip me her phone number, then had the nerve to look confused when I turned it down. Conversation went something like this: _

_ “I'm seeing someone whose company I enjoy, thank you very much.” _

_ “But she's fucking  _ **_boring_ ** _! I can do things she couldn't dream of.” _

_ “Oh? Can you hold a conversation that doesn't involve what you can do sexually?” _

_ Judging from her stunned silence, apparently not. _

_ “Now if you’ll excuse me, my date needs rescuing.” _

_ I was at Teagan’s side in a moment. Her hand was pressed to her temple, which had to mean she was getting a headache from the madness. _

_ But reprieve didn’t seem to be arriving anytime soon. Another hen showed up. _

_ Well, fuck me. _

***

If there was one silver lining in this disaster that the date had been reduced to it, it was the fact that Jessica was completely sober. I presumed she’d been picked to be the designated driver for the night, though, if I knew Jessica - and unfortunately I did - it’d been rendered moot because she was probably coked up to her eyeballs.

“Sorry I’m late, ladies, was just freshening myself up, if you know what I mean,” she said, rubbing the side of her nostrils with finger.  _ Yep, definitely on coke. _

Out of all of Dawn’s friends, Jessica was the only one I couldn’t stand. At least the others were friendly at best and tolerable at worst, but Jessica? She seemed to go out of her way to be a complete bitch. She was the type who posted obnoxious quotes on her Facebook feed to justify her behaviour  (“ _ If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best _ ”), and always had a scathing comment, no matter how insensitive or unneeded or unwarranted.

Raising an eyebrow at Finn that made it clear she liked what she was seeing, she made her way over to me. “Do you have a minute?”

_ No, I don’t. Fuck off. _ “Yeah, sure.” With someone like Jessica, it was best to just keep my mouth shut. I’d heard from Dawn that she was a nightmare to get into a fight with.  

She led me a short distance away, close enough that we were still in everyone’s line of sight, but far enough that anything we said would be out of earshot. I immediately became apprehensive. No good could come of this, I was sure.

And I was right. “So, I hear from Dawn that ‘Blue Eyes’ over there is playing you or something?” She took a look back and Finn and nodded. “Yeah, I can see it. Handsome fella like that probably has to keep them off with a stick, so why would he want to do date…” she looked me up and down, face critical. “Well,  _ you _ . No offense, Teagan, but everyone’s thinking it.”

_ Oh, I am very offended! _ More importantly, I was upset. Her uncaring comments were causing all my insecurities to resurface again.

I tried to remain strong. “I don’t care. And you’re wrong. Finn isn’t like that.”

“You keep telling yourself that, babe.” Jessica sneered, lighting herself up a cigarette. “But, seriously, aren’t you worried for your safety? For all you know, he could be a conman, or a pimp trying to get you hooked on drugs so he can whore you out. Maybe even a serial killer, that honestly wouldn’t surprise me.”  

Ever seen someone who’s so frustrated that they look as if they’re a moment away from just losing it? That was me right now.

“How can you say such things? You don’t even know him!” I hissed under my breath.

“Let me guess: He’s kind, he’s thoughtful and he treats you like you’re the most important thing in the world to him. He tells you how  _ special _ you are, even though we both know you’re not. He doesn’t get annoyed or bored or upset with you or when around you. Oh and he  _ never _ tries to pressure you into sex even though all men are animals. He’s not like other men, he’s  _ different _ .” She smiled nastily when I looked down, fists clenched. “Yeah, I thought so. Face it, babe, he’s only hanging out with you because you have something he wants. Hate me all you want, but I’m only telling you the truth.”

“...You’re wrong.”

Jessica remained unmoved. “I’m not. You’ll see, babe. A man like him will show his true colours when you’re at your most vulnerable.”

She made to return to Dawn and the others, but paused when she saw me holding my palm to my forehead. “Your head hurting?”

I nodded, teeth clenched.  

She smiled then. “Here, take this.” She dug into her pocket and held out a small pill to me. “Aspirin. Should help clear that right up.”  

“Thanks.” I swallowed it without hesitation. Anything to prevent this mild ache from getting any worse.

The two of us walked back to the rest of the group. Yet again, I tried to intercept and break up the gaggle of drunken ladies.

“Listen, Finn and I are going to head on home-”

“Home? Oooh, does that mean what I think it means?” Laura waggled her eyebrows at me. “Are you getting laid tonight?”

“Miss Frigid here? Doubt it.” Commented Jessica. “She’s so repressed, I bet she doesn’t even know how to pleasure herself, let alone a man.”

“Jessica, come on, not cool.” Dawn scolded her, though half-heartedly at best. “Teagan’s not that bad. It’s not like she’s a virgin.” She turned to me and asked loudly so all could hear, “...You aren’t a virgin, right, Tea? When was the last time you got laid? A year ago, right?”

“A year ago? Jesus Christ, someone get a dick in her, pronto!” Samantha added.

The four of them fell into fits of laughter, continuing to make all kinds of vulgar comments, wholly uncaring of the bystanders staring and who could hear every word they said.

That was it for me. I was officially done with their bullshit. Not only had they managed to ruin what was looking to be an amazing date, they’d utterly humiliated me in the process. What must Finn think of me after hearing any of this? I wouldn’t be surprised if the second he took me home, he drove off and never called me again.

Powerless to do anything - there were four of them and one of me. Plus it’d only cause more of a scene, which is the last thing I wanted - I stormed off back to Finn’s car.

***

_ I wish I could have whisked her away sooner. She didn't need any of this. And Dawn claims to be her friend? _

_ Breaking away from the gaggle without another word - before I started planting brain-eating scarabs in their ears - I chase after Teagan. She's leaning against the car, rubbing her temples, failing to stop  tears from leaving her eyes. As much as I wanted to go back and rip them to shreds (literally), I couldn’t leave her.  _

_ She was shaking in my arms as they continued to cackle and holler. _

_ “Don't listen to them, lovely,” I whispered into her hair. “You're good, Teagan. You’re so good, and they're wrong about you.” And I keep whispering affirmation after affirmation to her until they took their horrible arses away from the restaurant. _

_ I felt Teagan sinking against me, but it seemed strange. I drew back to look at her, and her eyes were glazing over. She looked exhausted, but… _

_ Whatever the case, I opened the passenger door and helped her in. She moved slowly to fasten her seat belt. But there was something off about her movements, as if her limbs were heavy. _

***

_ My head’s spinning… _

_ For fuck’s sake… _ The aspirin was supposed to make me feel better, but all it had managed to do was make me feel worse. And I felt pretty bad to begin with. It was all I could do not to crumble right then and there in front of Finn, though fat tears still managed to escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

Speaking of Finn, he’s being so nice about all of this. Nicer than he has any reason to be. Then again, that could just be because he pitied me. Dawn and her friends made it no secret to him, to  _ everyone _ in the vicinity, that I was a sad excuse of a human being.

“Stop, jus...just stopppp…” I tried to say, however the words come out as a barely coherent mumble. When I made to push him away, I found that I was unable to. My arms were suddenly lead, and the strength sapped from my body. If not for Finn catching me, I would have fallen like dead weight to the floor.

I slumped into the passenger seat and rested my head against the headrest, staring into nothing.

_ Why am I so sleepy? _ Considering the drama of the night, I’d have thought I’d be wide awake, but that wasn’t the case. I could barely stay conscious, while the world seemed to be moving around me at a sluggish pace, as if my mind and body weren’t quite on the same wavelength.

I’d say I was as drunk as Dawn and the others...but I haven’t had a drop of alcohol tonight.

“Finn...I think I’m sick…” The words didn’t come out this time. My body was no longer my own, and my mind seemed hellbent on checking out and leaving poor Finn to deal with this mess.  

_...What’s...what’s happening to me…? _

*** 

_ We arrived at her home. I got out first and strode to her side and opened the door. Her head rolled a bit, and she let out a sigh deeply, as if sleeping. _

_ “Hey sleepyhead, you're home,” I nudged gently. She rouses, but isn't waking up. _

_ I unfastened her seatbelt and picked up an arm by the wrist. It dropped with no resistance. _

_ Something is very wrong. _

_ “Teagan, wake up. Wake up, please!” _

_ A louder moan came from her this time, as if in pain. _

_ I waste no more time. Pulling her from the car, I carried her to the doorstep. The door opened at my will, closing right behind me when we cross the threshold. Who needs keys? _

_ Gingerly, I lay Teagan’s limp body upon her bed, and retraced the events of the evening. But I knew there was only one way to find out what had happened. _

_ I touched two fingers to her forehead and went back through her recent memories. Everything was hazy, like walking through a room of thick smoke, but I didn’t have to go far for the truth… _

**_“Face it, babe, he’s only hanging with you because you have something he wants. Hate me all you want, but I’m only telling you the truth.”_ **

**_“...You’re wrong.”_ ** _ That's Teagan’s voice. _

**_“I’m not. You’ll see, babe. A man like him will show his true colours when you’re at your most vulnerable.”_ **

**_“Your head hurting?”_ **

_ A small white pill. _

**_“Aspirin. Should help clear that right up.”_ **

**_“Thanks.”_ **

_ I let go, coming back to the present. _

_ Shit. The small white pill. _

_ Teagan had been drugged. Rohypnol, I was willing to bet. _

_ There weren't enough curses in the ancient tongues to describe the kind of bitch Jessica had proved herself to be. _

_ Before I probed my mind for every manner of spell to damn every one of those harpies with, Teagan began mumbling to herself and trembling as if she were cold. With a snap of my fingers, she was under her blankets. _

_ I lay by her side on top of her comforter, shoes off, and unbraided her hair to massage her scalp. _

_ Demons are able to inflict terrible pain or intense pleasure with a thought or simple touch. I couldn’t counteract the drug itself, but I could ease the stress on her body while it passed its way out of her system. She wouldn't get sick, or feel too hot or cold. It was easier since she hadn't had alcohol. When she woke up, she may not remember much. But she won't have to deal with the worst of the symptoms. _

_ “Finn…” _

_ My name on her lips was a lifeline she clung to. _

_ “Shhhh,” I soothed. “I'm right here, lovely. And I'll be here when you wake up. Sleep now.” A kiss to her forehead, and it was enough. A faint smile appeared on her face as she drifted into a deep sleep. _

_ I walked into the living room, attempting to stem the tide of my ire. _

_ Dawn. Samantha. Laura. And fucking Jessica. All horrid excuses for women. All bullies. _

_ And Dawn was the worst of all. She was no friend to Teagan, having all but fed her to the wolves she brought along. _

_ All four would pay. All four would suffer. _

_ The first? Jessica.  She'll be the one I make an example of. _

_...On second thought...I might just kill her, and leave her soul to languish for eternity. But that's still too good for her. _

_ However, I know just the specialist to handle this. I hit their speed dial; they answer on the first ring. _

_ “Hey Boss-man, what’s up?” A gruff drawl answered. _

_ “I have a void: drug-addled woman guilty of endangerment, envy, and cruelty. Last night she slipped a girl a roofie to prove a point, and it could have killed her.” _

_ “Heh, sounds like a total bitch.” _

_ “She is. I want you to...give her a taste of Hell. Make sure she never forgets.” I sent him the needed information. _

_ “Your word is my command. You want this to be a one-man job or can I get Machine Gun in on it, too?” _

_ I smirked. “What do  _ **_you_ ** _ think?” _

_ “Awww, yeah, that’s what I like to hear. Bullet Club is fucking real, baby!” He hooted on the other end. “Right on it, Boss! We won’t let you down!” _

_ “Keep me informed. There's a bonus if I like what I hear.” _

_ I hang up, knowing retribution would be swift and sure. Gallows and Anderson were more than my valets. They were masters of mischief and torment, as well as loyal friends. _

_ Returning to Teagan’s bed, I lay on my side, facing her. She was comfortable, but most of all, she was safe. That's what matters. _

_ Demons don't actually sleep, not even in their human form. They can shut down for a while if they want, but since they don't have much need to recharge (unless badly wounded and in recovery), there's no point. _

_ I’ll stay up with her all night, in case her condition changes. _

_ It's curious. The more I gazed at her, the more Teagan resembled an angel at rest. Not the bumbling featherheads I deal with, but the Renaissance paintings of angels. Ethereal, serene, full of possibility. _

_ She is radiant, from skin to soul. _

_ Sleep well, Teagan. You're safe now. _

_ And you  _ **_will_ ** _ be avenged. _

  
  



	5. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there may be more questions than answers, but a true friend is made.

_...Where am I? _

_ Oh God, I feel like shit... _

_...Wait… Why am I back home? How did I get back here? _

**_Why don’t I remember anything?_ **

Is there anything more terrifying than waking up and coming to the sinking realisation that you blacked out? If there is, I couldn’t think of any right now.

I retraced my memory. I’d left at 6:30pm with Finn for our date. We went to that new restaurant and stayed there for two hours. It was 8:30 when we left. That much I could remember…

I racked my brains further. Dawn, Laura, Samantha, and Jessica then showed up and proceeded to ruin the whole date for me. I got upset, left, and…

And then nothing. Everything after that was a blank.

No matter how much I tried to remember, I couldn’t come up with anything.  It was like someone had taken a strip of that evening and cut out the middle. One minute I was sitting in the car with Finn, then  _ SNAP _ , it’s suddenly morning and I’m lying here, in my bed.

I rested a hand against forehead. My head was swimming and I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up.

_ Why is it so hard to think? _

Was this a hangover? It felt similar to one, but then, I’d never gotten so drunk before that I couldn’t remember anything the next day. More importantly, I knew for a fact that I didn’t have any alcohol.

Shivering, I tried to climb out of bed so I could get a drink of water.

I didn’t anticipate, however, how unsteady I was, nor did it occur to me that my very hand-eye coordination had been compromised.

Before I could even react, I was toppling from the bed and onto the floor.

***

_ I left Teagan’s side, certain she would come to at any moment. It would be hellish and hydration would be necessary. _

_ I pulled a couple of water bottles from her refrigerator when I hear a tumble to the floor. _

_ Sure enough, I sprinted back to the bedroom to find a pile of Teagan entangled in her blankets. If not for recalling how she got here in the first place, the sight would have been rather cute. Instead, it stirred up my frustration with those responsible. _

_ Time for that later. Teagan needs my help now. _

_ “There you are.” I helped her back to the bed, checking for injury, before handing her a bottle of water. “I thought you might need this.” _

***

I blinked at Finn, confused.  _ What’s he doing here? _

I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised considering we’d just been on a date, but, with the way my mind was currently, I had no idea what’s what. My sense of time was all messed up, still believing it was yesterday night, helped in no part by the fact that Finn was still wearing the same clothes.

_ What’s going on here? _

My hand shaking, I tried to drink from the bottle of water he’d brought, but, for the life of me, I couldn’t get it to my mouth. Like a person blind in one eye, every time I thought I had it near my lips, it would collide with my cheek or against my chin.

I’m not a violent person, but in that second I very nearly hurled the damn bottle against the wall. What was wrong with me? Why was my body not working like it should!?

***

_ “It's alright, hang on. You’re still disoriented,” I spoke calmly. _

_ I took the bottle and lifted it to her lips. “Drink slowly, okay? I’ll hold it for you.” _

***

I had no idea why Finn was here - I was certain he’d run and never look back after hearing the stuff said about me - but I was eternally grateful he was. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I’d been alone, unable to walk, let alone function properly.

A line of water trailed from the side of my lip and down my chin as I swallowed the liquid. It was just what I needed for my parched mouth, but, to my dismay, it did nothing to clear my head. I was still as disorientated as ever.

 

“Wh...Wha...What time...is it?” I choked out. “Wh...Why is it morning? It was just nigh-”

I gave up, closing my eyes in frustration. I was struggling to even talk coherently. Could this get any worse!?

And then I heard my heartbeat palpitating and I lost it.

Lunging past Finn, I crashed to the floor, tried to clamour back to my feet, failed  _ miserably _ by stumbling right into my bedroom wall, then fell back to the floor again. Not that I let this deter me, I  _ was _ going to get out of this room and call an ambulance even if I had to crawl all the way (it didn’t occur to me that getting down the stairs would be next to impossible, as would talking to the operator on the phone).  

“He...Help me.” I huffed. “I-I...I’m...go...I need to go downstairs!”

***

_ Fucking hell, she's a spirited one. Stubborn as hell to boot. _

_ To prevent her from doing any further damage to herself, I scooped her up from the floor once again and set her back on the bed. _

_ “Teagan, I need you to calm down, alright? This is frightening, I know. But if you keep struggling, you'll hurt yourself. Now...you're probably looking for your purse, which is downstairs. I'll get it for you, but I need you to keep still. Okay? I'll be right back, I promise.” _

_ With that I took off to the living room. _

***

“ _ And that’s final. _ ” - That was the unspoken undertone behind Finn’s words. He didn’t say it, but I could tell that, no matter how many times I ignored his warning, he’d be there every time to stop me and carry me back to bed.

It was annoying...but also very reassuring that Finn was so dependable in a time like this.

Heaving a sigh, I nodded my head and waited for him to return with my phone, trying my best not to fall into a panic every time I felt my heartbeat out of rhythm. Finn seemed to have a good grasp on things and, frightening as all of this was, it clearly wasn’t too serious. If it was, I’d have come to in the hospital, not my bedroom.

The sound of Finn’s footsteps neared and suddenly there he was, holding it out to me.

Mouthing a quick thank-you, I took it and turned the screen on to see that there were over twenty texts from Dawn. This was shocking enough, but then I saw the time displayed and my eyes widened.

It was 10:00 in the morning. That meant thirteen hours had passed that I had no memory of taking place.  _ Thirteen _ !

Unable to wait a second longer, I started reading Dawn’s texts.

What I saw made my blood boil.

9:15 - ‘ _ Heeeey, dont b like that. Cum back! We were only joking, lol! _ ’

9:30 - ‘ _ stop ignoring me! It wasn’t that bad, u need 2 take a chill pill! _ ’

9:35 - ‘ _ WYP?????? _ ’

10:00 - ‘ _ Fine, b that way. Fucking crybaby. _ ’

00:00 - ‘ _ I know u dont want 2 talk 2 me but I have sumthing 2 tell U! Pick up! _ ’

00:06 - ‘ _ picck up!!!! It’s important!!!! _ ’

00:15 - ‘ _ Ok, try not 2 freak out, but, JSYK, that pill Jess gave u was 8tually a roofie. Soooo, try to get home B4 it takes effect, OK? Do not get urself raped by ur date! TTYL! _ ’

00:30 - ‘ _ Ur not picking up. R u ok? If u r not, text back! _ ’

8:00 - ‘ _ Dawn here. OMFG, crazy night last night, right??? How r u? Ur alright, arent u? _ ’

8:10 - ‘ _ BTW, I talked to Jess and she didnt know it was a roofie. I know ur probably mad, but pls dont go 2 the police about this? She says shes RLY sorry and will make it up 2 u. HAK _ ’

There was plenty more, but I couldn’t bear to read through any of it a second longer. 

Holding out the screen to Finn so he could read the texts, I mouthed: “Is it true?”

_ Why are you even asking? You already know the answer. _

***

_ I nodded, solemn. “It's true. It's why I didn't want you pushing yourself so hard earlier. It'll take a few more hours until it wears off entirely.” _

_ “...I'm sorry this happened. This was…” _

_ I wasn't even playing up the drama of the moment.  Humans could be far more terrible than demons could ever imagine becoming. What happened to Teagan was disgusting. It took everything I had not to snatch the phone from her hands and call Dawn for the sole purpose of cursing her name and everything she stands for. _

***

Finn’s words took a few seconds to sink in, but, when they finally did, they hit me hard.

I threw my phone at the wall, not caring if it smashed to pieces. I was just so  _ angry _ . Angry at myself for ending up getting ‘roofied’ when I’d always sworn I'd never let that happen. Angry at Dawn for being such a shit friend that her reaction wasn’t to come check on me herself, but cover her friend’s ass. And, most of all, angry at Jessica for doing this to me (Dawn was wrong. She was a fucking inventory for drugs. She  _ knew _ what she was doing).

I buried my face in my hands. Why had she done it? Because she was that much of a bitch? To prove a point so she could say ‘I told you so’?

Well then, the joke was on her. On all of them. When I was at my most vulnerable and easy pickings, it was Mr. Con-man/Pimp/Serial Killer/Rapist who came to my aid and stayed with me the whole night to make sure I was safe, not them.

They say hate is a strong word that should never be used carelessly, but, in that moment, I truly hated Jessica’s guts. I hated the lows she would shamelessly sink to for her own amusement and self-interest. I hated the danger she knowingly put me in - and expected, maybe even wanted.

But, more than anything, I hated the helplessness she’d inflicted upon me. That I had no idea what had happened to me in those thirteen hours.

That I was forced to ask Finn the question I asked him next…

Lip quivering and bracing myself for potentially devastating news, I forced myself to ask as clearly as possible: “Did...anything happen? Did we…” I took a shaky breath. “Did you...?”

***

_ I can't say I wasn't expecting it. What was fucked up was that she ever had to ask in the first place. I loathed those women with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. And that's where they would all be right now - tied to stakes, flesh sizzling, blistering, and burning but unable to die. _

_ I sat there next to Teagan, wanting to take her pain away with a snap of my fingers. _

_ “When we got to your house, you were in and out of consciousness. You mumbled, trembled a lot...like it was always cold. I brought you straight to bed, covered you in blankets, and stayed up most of the night...to watch over you, in case anything changed.” _

_ I turned to face her, made sure she saw it in my eyes. “No, Teagan. I didn’t, nor would I ever, do anything when you can't consent to it. That's what cowards do - use drugs and intimidation to take the choice out of someone's hands. And I hate them for what they did to you. It was disgusting, they were cruel, and I'm only sorry that I didn't take you away from them sooner.” _

_ I looked away, heaving a deep breath as I leaned against the headboard. _

***

Words could not describe how callous I felt for asking him that question, but it was still one that needed to be asked. As it is, I still had no way of knowing if what he was telling me was the truth or not. Everything said to me was purely hearsay. For all I knew, Finn had had his way with me and I just didn’t remember. 

I chose to believe him - I  _ had _ to. Finn hadn’t given me any reason to doubt him so far, and, unlike Dawn and the others, he actually seemed to give a damn about me, staying by my side all night, caring for me and making sure I was safe.

 

Plus, the alternative that, as well as having shit friends, I’d also been raped, was one I found too unbearable to consider.

I rested my forehead against his shoulder.

“I believe you.” My words came out as a whisper. Even so, I hoped he heard me. “Thank you. For everything.”

***

_ It was surprising, I admit. She was within her rights to be suspect. Her personal safety had been violated. No one sane would ever blame her for the way she felt. _

_ Still, knowing that she trusted me...it was a feeling that hadn’t been felt in far too long. _

_ I kissed the top of her head. “No need to thank me, lovely. It was nothing. I'm glad I could be here for you. I wanted to be. You shouldn't have been alone going through that.” _

***

“Yes, I do. I also owe you an apology,” I confessed.

“Dawn and her friends have been saying such horrible things about you. That you’re a conman...or some pimp who’s biding your time....” My face twisted in disgust as I remembered Jessica’s theory, “even a  _ serial killer _ . And there was a part of me that actually started to think, ‘What if they’re right?’”

I looked up at Finn. “I’m so sorry. For ever doubting you.”

*** 

_ I chuckled lightly. “There’s nothing to apologize for. We've known each other for such a short time. I can understand your suspicions. If anything, you deserve so much credit for taking a chance...even though it probably scared the hell out of you. That's pretty brave, Teagan.” _

***

“I suppose.” I responded, pleased that Finn wasn’t offended. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had been. In fact, I was still amazed he was still sticking around. The man had to be some kind of a saint, I’m sure.

My eyelids started to close, feeling heavy. Despite sleeping for thirteen hours, I still felt tired. Some more sleep would probably do me good.

“...Could...could you do me a favour?” I asked with an air of uncertainty. He’d already done so much for me, it felt selfish to ask, but… “I-I’m sorry, but could you stay just a bit longer? ...Just until I fall asleep?”

***

_ Placing an arm around her shoulders, I drew her close and laid back so that her head rested upon my chest. _

_ Quietly I promised, “I'll be right here when you wake up.” My fingers wander into her hair, lightly massaging her scalp. _

_ Closing my eyes, I steadied my breathing. Maybe it would be nice to clock out for a bit. Now that I knew Teagan would be fine, it seemed easy somehow to be so unguarded _ .

_ Peace, at least these days, was so hard to come by. With Teagan, I found myself taking in the illusion of peace. If only for a short while. _


	6. A Lesson in Team Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which valuable lessons are taught and learned...quite brutally.

It wouldn’t be until Friday, a good three days, that the effects of the Rohypnol wore off completely, and even then I still didn’t feel completely back to normal. There was a part of me that wanted nothing more than to bury myself in my bed and go into hibernation. To just sleep until enough time had passed that the whole incident was but a bitter memory.

That would never happen. For as long as I lived, I would always remember Dawn’s betrayal.

I’d wanted nothing more than to cut off all contact with her, to ghost her out of my life, but I knew, deep down, that doing so would be the easy way out, the coward’s way out. I needed closure whilst Dawn needed to be confronted for her part in what happened. Anything less and I’d probably spend the rest of my life regretting it.

Coming to a stop outside her front door, I braced myself and then rung the doorbell.

She took ages to answer, but, then again, she always did. Considering it was fairly early in the morning, I imagined she was either busy putting on her makeup or blow drying her hair.

Turns out it was the former. When she finally answered, like the female beautician equivalent of Two-Face, literally half her face was done up in makeup while the other all natural. I’m surprised she chose to answer the door looking that way, she normally refused to leave the house if she even had so much as one blemish or pimple.

Dawn froze when she saw me. “Teagan…”

“Can I come in? We need to talk and I think you know what about.” I said as politely as I could manage.

Silence. “That depends...you going to attack me?”

I scoffed.  _ What kind of person does she think I am?  _ “No.” And then, with a hard edge in my voice, I added, “I’m not like Jessica.”

Dawn didn’t say anything at first, just sizing me up. Then, finally, deciding I wasn’t an immediate threat, she stepped aside so I could walk on through. “Come in. You have to be quiet though, otherwise you’ll wake up Diego - he’s my new sugar daddy.”

_ Nice to know where your priorities lie _ , I thought grimly as I entered.

From there, we got straight down to business, bypassing any attempts at pleasantries.

Dawn was the first to speak, and I could tell from her demeanor that she was agitated. “Look, I know why you’re here and I just want you to know that I totally understand. We crashed your date and went a little OTT. That was not cool, I admit it, but, Tea, you know what we’re like when we’ve had a little bit too much to drink. We didn’t  _ mean _ any of it.”

“Is this your way of telling me that Jessica gave me the roofie by accident because she was drunk?” I asked her flat-out, irked by Dawn’s attempts to beat around the bush. “Because she wasn’t. She was coked up, but not drunk.”  

There was a pause and then, “It  _ was _ an accident, Teagan.” 

“What, and that makes it okay?” I snapped. “Dawn, I could have been raped! Or worse! If I’d been drinking alcohol that night, I could have died of an overdose. Do you know that?! Do you even  _ care? _ ” 

“Of course I do! How can you even say that?” Dawn seemed offended by my accusation, but I had my doubts. After all, until today I would have said, despite her faults, she was still a good friend, but the days since the ‘roofie’ incident had really opened my eyes as to how wrong I really was.

“You tell me. You knew you’d upset me, you knew I was drugged, but you didn’t come visit me once. I could barely speak or move or even  _ think _ and all you did was text me asking me not to dob that bitch into the cops. What the fuck is that?” I yelled, losing my temper.

“ _ Keep your voice down! _ ” Dawn hissed, stomping past me to shut the living room door.

“So, maybe texting you like that wasn’t the best thing to do. I’m sorry, okay? I was just trying to keep the peace. I mean, Teagan, think about all the trouble you going to the cops will cause! It’ll split up our group, people will go snooping into our lives, and Jess! Jess could go to prison - she’d definitely lose her job. Her life would be ruined!”

“ _ Good! _ ” I shot back. “I hope that’s what happens! Maybe then she’ll take a good look at herself and stop being such an awful excuse of a human being!”

An uncomfortable silence fell down on us, Dawn staring at me as if I’ve grown two heads. I don’t think she expected me to react this way. I truly think she thought I’d come round, sorries and hugs would be exchanged, and all would be forgotten.

That’s not going to happen. Not this time. 

“I won’t let her get away with what she did, Dawn. I  _ am _ going to go to the police, and if you don’t like that, then that’s too bad. And, if there’s one good thing to come out of this, it’s that it finally showed me the kind of person you really are.”

“Goodbye, Dawn.”

I turned my back on her and went to leave. I doubted I’d be seeing her again after today. She’d made it quite clear she was no friend of mine. 

Suddenly...

“...You ungrateful bitch.”

My comment must have hit quite the nerve because, when I turned back to Dawn, her face had contorted into an ugly snarl.

And, with it, came a torrent of pure malice.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Teagan!” She spat. “I remember when you first came to this town five months ago. You had nothing - you  _ were _ nothing. If not for me letting you stay in MY house, you’d be living on the streets, probably sucking dick just to get by.  _ I saved you!  _ Or have you forgotten that? What, now that some hot, bigshot guy likes you - who, FYI, is totally conning you, but you’re too fucking retarded to see that - you think you’re something special? Well, you’re not special! You’re pathetic and a fucking waste of space and I want you out of my house!”

Outwardly calm  - I would not give Dawn the satisfaction of knowing her words had cut me deep - I countered, “That houses isn’t yours. It belongs to your parents and, last time I checked, they were okay with renting it out to me.”

“Oh yeah? I’m their daughter! Unlike your parents, mine actually love me. One word from me and you’ll be back out on the streets!” She placed her hands on her hips and smirked at me smugly. “Tell you what: I’ll let you stay if you agree not to go to the cops about Jessica. Fair enough?”

I won’t lie, I was shaken up. It’d never occurred to me that Dawn might turn out to be so vindictive and petty as to threaten to have me evicted, something which I really didn’t want to happen. Though I had only been in this town for five short months, I’d manage to carve something of a life out for myself, however boring it may be. I didn’t want to have to leave, to find myself without a place to call my own again.

Unfortunately for Dawn, I wasn’t budging. My dignity and morals were more important than living in a house where my stay would constantly be dangled over me as a bargaining chip.

“Sorry, but no. Still going to the cops.”

That wiped the smirk off Dawn’s face. “Fine, have it your way. I want you out by the end of the week.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out in three.”

With nothing more left to say to one another, I let myself out. Once outside I let the fresh air bat against my face - I hadn’t realised how stuffy it was inside - while taking deep breaths.

_ So...going to have to move out and find a new place in five days. _

_...Oh wait, make it three. Fuck my life… _

And yet...despite this...I didn’t feel sad. If anything, I felt as if a weight that had been holding me down for ages had finally lifted. Yes, I may be losing my home, but I was also losing the toxic, co-dependent influence that had been my friendship with Dawn, something that would help me more in the long run.

_ Better start packing. _

***

_ Synergy. _

_ These days it's a keyword to describe something that has been a sociological fixture throughout human history. The ability of a team with several individual talents to form a cohesive unit. The ideal team dynamic. _

_ To be an effective leader, one has to discover, nurture, and align the talents of your team members in order to ensure that everyone has a role to play and that no one is left completely out. _

_ But in order to accomplish a specific job, one must gather the right talents. Fortunately, Hell is never in short supply of gifted deviants. Today is an exercise in synergy, which will be best conveyed by observing the destruction of four undesirable bitches who don't deserve the air in their lungs. _

_ Let's begin, shall we? _

 

***

It’s a shame I didn’t have Finn’s number. I would have liked to have called him after going to see Dawn and letting him know how it went.

...On second thought, that’s probably a good thing. I doubt he’d be too pleased to hear the things Dawn had said to me, and he certainly wouldn’t like it once I gave him the news that I was being evicted and probably moving away.

Not to mention Finn was busy right now. He hadn’t revealed very much to me, but, from what I could gather, an important case had just come up and he was in the process of putting together a prosecution team. He also threw in a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I’m sure was intended to confuse me for his own amusement.

_ “So, is there going to be a big court case?” I’d asked. _

_ “Nah, it’s pretty much a done deal for the prosecution. The four defendants are guilty as sin. I’m just making sure we have a strong enough case that they can’t worm their way out of their sentence. I want life without parole.” _

_ “Oh. Well, at least tell me this: will I get to read about it in any of the papers?” _

_ Finn had winked at me. “Wait and see.” _

Deciding I’d wait until my living situation was less up in the air to tell him, I made my way to the bus stop. Before I started packing, I wanted to try all other options.

It was time to find me a place to live.

 

*** 

_ Take the case of Jessica Croft. _

_ Recently promoted to store manager at Best Buy, and not because of her upstanding personality or strong moral fiber. She is, however, quite winning at servicing customers: street drugs, blackmail, sexual favors (regardless of gender identity). _

_ She thought she was untouchable. But Jessica made a fatal error. _

_ She crossed  _ **_me_ ** _. _

_ So right now, she's getting a visit from Gallows and Anderson, experts in mischief and manipulation of both the physical and mental variety. _

_ What she thinks is an everyday - ahem - “blow ‘n go”, as she likes to put it, is about to take a turn... _

***

Though she out of all her friends had the most cause to be worried, Jessica Croft couldn’t have been anymore free and easy (figuratively and literally) if she’d tried. Teagan Dunn and what may or may not have happened after slipping her the roofie didn’t even register in her mind, it was that unimportant to her.

While her friends fretted and schemed, Jessica went about her day as she would just like any other. And that included the usual “dealings” with customers...  

“Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, that’s it. Harder!  _ Harder! _ ”

Jessica writhed on her bed, moaning loudly as the two bald, bearded and big-muscled men - she couldn’t remember their names. Did it matter? - double-teamed her.

She hadn’t rated them much in the looks department, but she did have a thing for strong men and was in a kinky mood today. Throw in them offering her drugs that were of the real high-quality shit, and she couldn’t get them to her place fast enough.

“Oh God, just a little more…  _ I’m. Almost. There _ …!”

Suddenly they stopped. “Wh- What the fuck are you doing, assholes!? I swear to Christ, if you two are fucking me aroun-”

“Woah, woah, easy there, baby, easy!” The tallest said.

“Yeah, no need to bring the Big Guy up in the Sky’s little Hoot into it,” said the other.

“We just want to take this show to the next level. A whole new  _ freakier _ level.” Jessica raised a confused eyebrow as the taller man revealed a dildo he’d been hiding behind his back. She was just about to demand where he was going with this when he said, “What say you pleasure yourself with this while I take you from behind, while my bro-ski over here fills up that slutty, little mouth of yours?”

She grinned, snatching it from his hands. “ _ Yes, fuck yes! _ ”

Getting down on all fours, she took the surprisingly stiff sex toy -  _ what’s this thing made of!? _ \- and started to insert it into herself, while the two men took their positions. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why they were nowhere near as sweaty or out of breath as her, but this was largely overridden by her lust.

“Out of curiosity, what’s a small thing like you need with all these drugs?” The other asked just as she’s about to take him all in. “You sure you can handle them?” And then, in a sing-song voice, “You don’t get to suck my little Machine Gun until you tell me.”

A growl escaped her. These guys may be amazing in bed, but they were fucking annoying. “The drugs aren’t all for me! I  _ know _ people. People who can sell them, make some good money off of them. Satisfied!?”

“Oh, believe me, we’re very satisfied.” The two men exchanged a high-five over her shoulder.

“Then shut the fuck already! I haven’t got all fucking day!” She hissed. The dildo was doing just fine, but if these men would just stop talking and back up their words, it’d be thrice the pleasure. “Fuck me, you big, bad boys!”

This time, they complied.

***

_ With such heavily impaired judgement, Jessica made three mistakes in this little tryst: _

_ 1) She took candy from strangers. _

_ 2) She blew the lid off of her own drug operation. _

_ 3) She didn't ask about protection. Not once. _

_ You see, had she not been bombed out of her skull, she would have realized another three things: _

_ 1) She was fucking three dildos. (Correction:  _ **_two_ ** _ dildos. The particularly stiff object between her legs was, in fact, a carved mahogany crucifix. Jesus wept, indeed.) _

_ 2) The two men she  _ **_thought_ ** _ she was fucking were watching from the sidelines. _

_ 3) And they were recording it.  _ **_Every. Single. Sordid. Second._ **

_ I could not have asked for better. However, the boys took it a step further. _

_ The customers of Best Buy became an unwitting audience to a solo porno of wildly sacrilegious proportions that same day, traumatizing the pious and sending parents fleeing the scene with their children. _

_ As for Jessica, she was arrested at work. They had to break down her office door since she'd locked herself in upon the discovery that her naked arse and tits were on full display, on  _ **_every_ ** _ display _ . _ She was found screaming and crying, curled in a fetal position beneath her desk _ .

_ She deserved worse still, but, for now, I was content to wait until she died and her soul landed in Hell.  _

_ Demons are the masters of the long con, after all. _

 

***

_ Well, this is turning out to be a huge waste of time...  _

Frowning, I added another estate agent to my ‘No-Go’ list. There were only six to be found in this town and three had already turned me away. Having no job, no savings, and no cosigner was bad enough, but the fact that Dawn, my ‘landlord’, would go out of her way to give me a bad reference really made renting another place next to impossible.

I sighed. Might as well face facts, I’m probably going to have to leave and start anew.

My eyes fell onto my phone (the screen had miraculously survived my hurling it against the wall), and I thought of Finn and how I wished I could call him. I only had seven days, and three if Dawn decided to take me at my word. What if Finn’s job took longer than planned and I didn’t get to see him before then? I might end up leaving without saying goodbye.

_ Why didn’t I ask him for his number? It’s not like I didn’t have the chance. _

It was then that the obvious solution hit me: I could do some sleuthing to try and find some contact details.

Facebook was the obvious first choice. Nearly everyone had a social media account nowadays. I figured inputting Finn’s name into the search bar would garner me all the answers I needed.

It did. His name was the first and only profile to appear.

**_Finn - Devitt - Bálor_ **

My eyebrows scrunched at his profile name.

_ Devitt… _ At first I assumed it was just his middle name, but something told me this wasn’t the case. It sounded like a surname and the hyphens gave the impression that it was separate from his name, but still connected somehow.

_ Huh… I’ll have to ask him about it later. _

_...If there even is a later. _ At this rate, I wasn’t going to be seeing Finn again. That thought depressed me more than my current situation. This wasn’t the first time I’d lost a place a live. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could handle it. But Finn was an actual person, one who I was becoming increasingly fond of. I didn’t want to lose him from my life. 

I clicked on Finn’s profile. However, when I did, I was dismayed to find that he’d set his account to ‘Friends-only’. If I wanted to find out the name of his workplace, I’d have to send him a message (which was all well and good, but, if Finn’s profile was anything to go by, he hadn’t been active in quite the while.)

_ Shit. _

I went to leave, but not before taking a minute to giggle at his profile picture.

Finn was dressed in a black short-sleeved shirt and black trousers, standing in what appeared to be a locker room, with a clown statue looked as if it was in the process of being possessed by Pennywise standing right behind him. His arms lay stiff by his sides and his eyes were scrunched closed, an expression of mock fear on his face.

I found it incredibly cute how he didn’t take himself too seriously. It had been one of my pet peeves with Caleb. The man had always been too serious, never goofing about or just taking it easy. The very definition of ‘rod up his arse’.

Facebook having failed me, I resorted to my next - and last - option: Google.

I groaned when the I saw that the search results. I’d hoped the name of his law firm might show up, but there was nothing of substance, save for a few links relating to Irish mythology.

Opening one webpage, I skimmed through it out of curiosity....

‘ _ Bálor was the name of a powerful leader of the Formorians; a dark and demonic race.’ _

‘ _ Commonly described as a giant with a large eye in his forehead that wreaks destruction when opened.’ _

’ _ Bálor of the Evil Eye’ _

‘ _ God/Personification of drought and blight/death and destruction.’ _

I pocketed my phone.

_ So Finn’s surname is the same as an Irish mythological demon? ...Huh. Well, that’s something you don’t hear of every day. _

It seemed a bit strange, but, then again, having an odd or unfortunate name was not unheard of ( _ Hello, North West _ ). Girls had been named after Freya, the Norse goddess of love, beauty, etc. And there were tons of Greek mythological names used today. Sure, surnames were a bit rarer, but they happened every once in a blue moon. Maybe Finn’s surname was just one of them?

Deciding I’d definitely be asking Finn about this the next time I talked with him -  _ Please, God, let me at least see him one last time _ \- I resumed going about my day.

 

***

_ Laura, Laura, Laura McGann. _

_ If Vanity had a target to throw darts at, it would be her. _

_ A lifelong bridesmaid, Laura’s problem has always been her need to be the belle of the ball. Which usually means trashing everyone else in the room. _

_ Someone has a new hairdo? Spill a drink over it. _

_ Great new makeover? Smear it all over her face with a slap. And then steal the makeup. _

_ Gorgeous new dress? Toss bleach all over it. _

_ And don’t get me started on the shoes she's either taken or defiled with her bodily wastes. _

_ If she can get away with it, Laura is more likely to knock you off a pier if you look even the tiniest bit better than her. _

_ Luckily, Alexa Bliss - five feet of fury and vainglory - knows how to knock her down a few pegs, and then some. _

_ Laura's mid-morning run is about to hit a wall. _

***

_ Her with  _ **_him?_ ** _ How the fuck is that even possible!? _

That was the overriding thought going through Laura McGann’s head as she jogged down the street. While most would use this as an opportunity to listen to music, a podcast, or an audio book, Laura stewed over the things that made her jealous.

Last month it was Sabrina Aarons, an old high school friend, whose grandmother had just passed away and left her a sizeable amount of money in her will. Suddenly, Sabrina was living it large - fancy new car, holidays to the bahamas, New York, etc. - while Laura was stuck as a receptionist and having to beg for money from her tight-fisted father. The fact that Sabrina was as generous as one could get and regularly spoiled her friends changed nothing.

One day, she spied over Sabrina’s shoulder as she withdrew some money. All it took was memorising her pin, stealing her bank card after sneaking some ketamine into her drink one night (courtesy of Jessica), and she made sure all that money disappeared.

Sabrina didn’t know what hit her.

Then there was her boyfriend, Liam O'Connor. Now, she liked Liam. He was cute, treated her like a queen, and was studying to be a vet. What wasn’t there to love? Laura soon found out when he bought a puppy. A noisy, annoying golden retriever that was always pissing and shitting on her carpet, and demanding attention or to be fed.

The final straw for Laura came when Liam in her eyes started doting on it more than her. She would not come second best to an animal.  _ It had to go _ . And since Liam refused to get rid of the thing she took matters into her own hands. At first she’d considered driving out of town and just abandoning it on the side of the road, but then there’d always be the risk of it being found and returned to them by some goody-two shoes Samaritan.

So, she fed it some rat poison. Puppy got sick and died and boyfriend was none the wiser. Problem solved.

And now there was Teagan Dunn. Sweet, mousy,  _ pathetic _ Teagan.

She still wasn’t quite sure how she’d come into the lives of their group of friends. She was just introduced one day, out of the blue, by Dawn. The rest couldn’t understand what Dawn was thinking - Teagan was that weird social outcast to be found in every high school year group, sitting at the back of the class - but Laura? She understood  _ perfectly _ .

Teagan wasn’t so much a friend as a hanger-on, kept around by Dawn as a constant reminder that life could be a whole lot worse. The friend you put down to make yourself feel better. She was the insecure, loser equivalent of the fat or ugly friend who made those around them look so much better in comparison.

People could say it was horrible all they wanted, but the truth was  _ everyone _ did it.

Working up a decent sweat, Laura neared the subway underpass up ahead. She saw a fellow jogger- a young woman - heading in her direction.

_ Can’t believe she’s dumb enough to think a guy as handsome as that actually likes her.  _ **_Please_ ** _. Probably got some bet going on with his mates, planning to pull a prank on her - like that film ‘Carrie’. Oh man, I’d love to see the look on her face when that happens. Serves you right, bitch- _

The air was suddenly knocked from Laura’s lungs as the female jogger collided right into her.

She hit the ground hard, her arms barely managing to shield her fall. As she tried to gather her bearings, she heard a high-pitched voice sneer, “Awww, did you hurt your head? That’s too bad. Maybe next time you should watch where you’re going.”

Laura glared up at her.  _ Who the fuck does she think she is!? _

The jogger was this pint-sized woman with blonde pigtails with red highlights at the tips, a modelesque face with sharp blue eyes, made all the more striking because of her eye makeup, and a body that would make any gymnast proud. How did Laura know this? Because, despite the cool weather, the woman was wearing black short-shorts, knee-high black boots, and a midriff baring red t-shirt. Almost as if she was rubbing how hot she was in everyone’s face.

Picking herself up, Laura glared at the woman. “What the fuck did you just say? You’re the one who ran into me, you stupid bitch! You did that on purpose!”

“Yeah, I did.” The woman admitted smugly. “And if anyone’s the stupid bitch around here, it’s  _ you _ . Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to piss off those who are higher up on the food chain? Do you  _ want _ to die? Now, I’m in a really good mood today, so tell you what,” her expression than hardened. “get down on your knees and beg for mercy. Do a good enough job, and maybe -  _ maybe _ \- I’ll go easy on you.”

Laura spat in her face. “Fuck off, you cunt-faced bitch! I’m not afraid of you!”

For a second, a look of utter fury crossed the woman’s face, but it was just as quickly replaced with a smirk that promised horrible things to come.

“Oh, I am going to  _ enjoy _ breaking you.”

Laura went to slap her, but her hand was blocked instantly and effortlessly. She tried to break free, to try for a second attempt, but the woman’s grip was like iron. No matter how much she pulled, she couldn’t get free.

Suddenly, without any warning, the woman wrenched her wrist back as far as it could possibly go, short of snapping it clean off.

“God, could you be any more predictable?” The woman said, disgusted, as Laura screamed bloody murder, cradling her now broken wrist. “Why do I have to do this? This is  _ Carmella _ work! I’m better than this!”

Realising this was a fight she wasn’t going to win, Laura ran for it.

She got as far as the entrance before a force, with the strength of a freight train, collided with her stomach and sent her soaring through the air and up against the nearby wall.

A sickening crack sounded out as her head hit it and, for a brief second, she saw stars. It was a miracle it didn’t knock her on her unconscious. Unfortunately for Laura, it didn’t, so, when she dropped down onto the concrete like a sack of potatoes seconds after, she felt her right leg break on impact.

_ “ _ Please.  _ Please, stop. _ ” She moaned. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop?” The woman replied coldly. “Not a chance, bitch. I’m just getting warmed up.” And then, striding over to her, she front kicked her square in the face, hard enough that she broke a few teeth in the process.

Laura wailed, hands flying to her mouth as blood and broken bits of enamel fell out.

In the background, she heard the woman groan. “Urgh, I’m so  _ hungry _ . Consider yourself lucky I don’t eat junk food.” 

She had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but, given what was currently happening to her, she didn’t give much thought to it. She was more concerned with escaping with her life as she was certain this woman was going to keep on beating her until she died.

With a leg and wrist so broken she could see the bone stick out of both, and a wrecked mouth to boot, she tried to her best to crawl away.

Behind her, the woman snapped her fingers.

A scream of agony came bursting out of Laura as her arms were wrenched back by an unknown force. It was as if someone had taken a hold of them and, with a foot on her back, was trying their damndest to rip them clean off from their sockets.

For what felt like forever, Laura convulsed and writhed on the ground as her body was contorted and twisted in ways the human body wasn’t designed to. By the time it was over, and her body felt like hers again, she was covered in vomit, blood, and tears, sobbing wretchedly on the floor.

Footsteps approached and the woman, a cool, satisfied smile on her face, kicked her in the side so that she was lying on her back.

She then took a seat on Laura’s chest, one hand gripping her chin roughly.

“Just so you know, even if you had begged me, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Only my master, the great and powerful Demon King, can decide if you deserve mercy and, unfortunately for you, he’s not the forgiving type.” The iris of her eyes flashed an ethereal green. “ _ You’re fucked. _ ”

“Now.” She held up her hand and, suddenly attached to it, was silver claws like something out of Nightmare on Elm Street. They looked as sharp as razors. “What should I slice up first on that pretty, little face of yours?”

“ _ Eeny, meeny, miny... _ ” her clawed fingers trailed up Laura’s cheek, digging into the skin, but not enough to break it…

...Until her index finger rested by the corner of her eye. “ **_Moe._ ** ”

The claw started to slowly poke in, and under.

Laura screamed and screamed and screamed.

***

_ About noon that day, a happy couple walked along the park path that ran under the subway overpass. They happened upon a whimpering, quivering mass of broken human being so badly beaten beyond recognition, it would have been impossible to tell gender if not for the shattered voice of a woman crying for help. _

_ It was grisly, the worst aftermath of an assault ever discovered in this town. What was even more amazing is how she survived at all. _

_ I've heard the adage, “Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.” _

_ Unfortunately for Laura, her outside is now a more accurate representation of how she's always looked within: mangled, broken, blind. _

_ Laura's once-decent face is a map of Alexa’s unchecked wrath, her body a legend of the destruction in her wake. It is unlikely she will ever walk, speak, or function without assistance again. The images of evil ghostly green eyes and the sickening crunch of bone are set to replay in her brain until merciful death claims her. _

_ Of course Alexa received a bonus. _

 


	7. Coherence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more bite the dust, and a new face emerges.

“ _ Ave Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena.… _ ”

Schubert’s ‘Ave Maria’ ran out through the chapel, the singer a twelve year old hometown girl. Her soprano voice was nothing short of captivating, bringing a certain beauty to the song that I hadn’t heard before.

Usually, I attended church only on Sundays, though not religiously. Sometimes I skipped because I wanted to sleep in (my parents would be appalled if they hadn’t disowned me). Today, however, I’d decided to pay a visit. It had always been there in my time of need, and, after the week I’d had, I really needed it’s serene, inviting atmosphere now.

A Samoan man in his early thirties came and sat down next to me in one of the pews right at the back.

I checked him out from the corner of my eye. He was dressed in a designer suit that made it clear he was a man who enjoyed the finer things in life, while his black hair tied up into a bun. Very attractive in that “manly man with strong jawline and cheekbones” kind of way that a lot of women went mad for, though, personally, he wasn’t my type. He looked way too intense for my tastes.

My curiosity sated, I resumed listening to the song. It was now on the last verse.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He spoke softly, his voice deep. I wasn’t surprised.

I nodded. “Very. The singer has a lovely voice.”

Silence resumed. It wouldn’t be until after the church service had come to an end and people were filing out of the small building that we would exchange words again.

“Name’s Roman Reigns.” He held his hand to me. “This is the first time I’ve seen you in here on a weekday.”

I shook his hand. It practically swallowed up my own. “Teagan Dunn. Nice to meet you. And, yeah, I normally stick to just Sundays, but…well, it’s kind of been a rough week for me. Not saying I’m thinking of throwing in the towel, but...” My smile faltered. “I need my faith in humanity restored a little.”

Roman nodded. He seemed to understood. “I hear you. I’ve been down that road in the past, too.” His face darkened noticeably. “A man who was like a brother to me stabbed me in the back. Cut me real deep. Still does.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

He scoffed. “Don’t be. He’s the one who lost out in the end, not me.”

The place now mostly empty, Roman and I stood up and made our way outside, joining the rest of the church goers.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is it you’re going through?” He asked.

And then, “You’re not in any danger, are you? A guy in your life isn’t causing you any problems?”

It probably wasn’t his intention, but I laughed then. Out of all the problems in my life, guy trouble wasn't one of them. I didn’t even  _ have _ a boyfriend, for Pete’s sake! “God no! Don’t worry, it’s nothing that bad.”

I wondered whether I should tell him or not. I would have preferred not to, but he seemed concerned for my safety, plus, when I thought about it, he’d be sure to find out anyway. Once I went to the police and Jessica was arrested, it’d probably be in the local papers... Which didn’t make me happy, but it’s not like I could do anything should that happen. 

“Four girls who I thought were my friends went out of their way to completely humiliate me. And then one, erm,” I looked away, embarrassed, “One of them slipped me a roofie - you know, the date rape drug - expecting my date to...well, you know..”

Roman’s teeth clenched and a brief look of rage flashed in his eyes. For a second he looked as if he was about to roar and smash something. 

Thankfully, he calmed down, taking a long deep breath. “I am so sorry for what you went through. Those... _ girls _ ,” he spat out as if it killed him to refer to them as anything human, “will one day reap what they sow. Believe that!”

“I know. Just doesn’t feel that way…”

“In the eyes of Heaven, all humans are equal. And all humans will be judged on the choices they made in life. They will be punished for their sins, if not in this life, then in the next.” Roman assured me.

I smiled. He sounded so damn sure of himself that I couldn’t help but believe him. “Thanks.”  

“Just don’t lose faith or let it send you down a bad path. Life ain’t easy, you’re going to come across a lot of trials and hardships, but never forget that you are not alone. Someone up there is watching and listening, even if it don’t always seem that way.” 

“Remember:  _ ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.’ _ ” He then chuckled, as if remembering an inside joke.

“There’s this guy I know - complete cornball - who lives and breathes by that. His mantra is literally ‘Never give up’!”

“Galatians 6:9.” I said instantly. “I’ve always like that quote.”

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “You know your Bible text.”

“It’s nothing, really. I read it a lot as a kid and it kind of stuck, you know?” I shrugged. I left out how my parents had forced me to read a part every Sunday and, if I didn’t have at least three quote completely memorised by the time I was done, they’d punish me. My mother, especially, was  _ very _ creative in what she did to me.

I let out an involuntary shudder at the memories. They were the harder ones to repress.

“Anyway, I better go. Got a lot of stuff to do. Nice talking with you, Roman.” I smiled.

Roman nodded his head back. “You too, Teagan. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s not like I’m dealing with this alone, or anything. I’ve met someone and he’s a really nice, decent guy. He was my date that night it happened and he was there by my side the whole time, looking after me.” I smiled. “I’ll be fine.”

This didn’t seem to reassure him. If anything, a grave expression came over his face.

“Stay safe, Teagan Dunn.” He clasped my hand both of his. My eyes widened as I felt him slip me something. “There are demons and sinners around every corner who will prey upon a sweet girl like you without a second thought. Remember that.”

And with that, he was gone.

I watched him walk away, dumbfounded, before opening my hand. In my palm was a small, folded up piece of paper.

I opened it:

_Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. - Matthew 7:15._ _Heed its warning._

***

_ Then there's Samantha Tunney. _

_ Under normal circumstances, we don't bother with enablers. They do most of our work for us. _

_ Except this one is far worse than the average. _

_ She's one of those who have no qualms about using what she's equipped with to get what she wants. Like convincing an ex-boyfriend to assault a rival in her college years just to “put a scare into her”. _

_ Like seducing a man - her married stepbrother, at that - out of his fortune and blowing it all, leaving him and his family penniless and shattered. _

_ Like encouraging a coke addict to slip their friend's ‘homely charity-case’ a roofie by passing it off as a painkiller. _

_ Another saying I'm fond of:  _ **_Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind_ ** _. _

_ Bray Wyatt can tell you something about that. Our charismatic harbinger of doom and nightmares is about to pay her a little visit now… _

***

Samantha Tunney marched back and forth in her kitchen, texting furiously on the phone to Dawn.

After three days of hearing almost nothing from or about Teagan - Jessica was certain she was either being kept captive in a basement somewhere, or lying in a ditch - she’d finally resurfaced. Unfortunately, it was to tell Dawn that she was going to the police, a decision she was refusing to budge on.

16:00 -  _ You’ve got to do something! If threatening her won’t work, maybe buy her off?? _

16:05 -  **I cant. We dont know how much she wants. even if we did, Papi wont give me the money when he finds out whats its 4. He’d dump me the second he hears the word ‘police’.**

16:07 -  _ Then you pay her. We all will. That’ll shut her up, right?? _

16:10 -  **OMG dont b stuupid, we r not made of money! Laura and Jess wouldnt pay anyway. U know that.**

16:12 -  _ Then what are we going to do?  _

16:17 -  **Dont worry. Ill think of sumthing. Right now she thinks its just Jess. TTYL.**

Her fingers practically bashing the touch screen, Samantha closed the conversation and angrily poured herself a glass of wine.

_Fucking Tay-gun._ _She better stop if she knows what’s good for her._

Contrary to what Teagan believed, Jessica was not solely to blame for slipping her the roofie That had been a team effort on all the girl’s parts. Jessica may have provided the drug needed, but it was Laura who suggested it, while Dawn was the one who gave the go ahead and put the plan into motion.

And Samantha? She’d encouraged it. It had seemed like a laugh at the time, a win-win situation. The drug would cause amnesia, so Teagan wouldn’t be any the wiser. And even if she was and went to the police, she’d assume her handsome date was to blame, not them.

What they hadn’t anticipated, however, was three glaring problems:

1) Mr. ‘Irish underwear model’ didn’t fuck her like he was supposed to. Fucking faggot.

2) Teagan didn’t drink any alcohol that night (What the fuck is  _ wrong _ with her?) If she had, the cops would be less inclined to believe her, something they’d banked on.

3) Dawn had to be a stupid bitch and incriminate them. Oh, she hadn’t fessed up, but Samantha knew. She got cold feet, tried to ‘fix’ the situation, and made things a hundred times worse.

She slammed her glass down, very nearly breaking it. Something needed to be done and  _ fast _ . If Jessica went down, they all went with her. That girl would sell them out the second she’d gone a few hours without her fix and withdrawal symptoms reared its ugly head. Laura, too, if it meant saving her own skin, something which Samantha couldn’t begrudge as she would do same. As for Dawn, she was too much of a fucking idiot to talk her way out of anything.

Her mind made up, Samantha picked up her phone and started scrolling through her contacts for Teagan’s phone number.

_ I am  _ **_NOT_ ** _ going to prison over this. If Dawn won’t fix it, then I will! _

Making Teagan Dunn disappear would not be hard to do. The girl’s social life was next to nothing and she didn’t have a family who’d come looking for her. Add in how she was days away from being evicted and most people would just assume that she packed up her stuff and left. The perfect alibi.

That guy she was seeing might pose a problem, but Samantha would deal with him when the time came.

She scowled as she remembered how he’d blown her off completely.  _ He doesn’t want me? Why!? I’m way hotter than Tay-gun! That girl isn’t even remotely hot! He’s got to be using her for something! Maybe she’s his ‘beard’ and he’s gay? Yeah, I bet he’s a cocksucker!’ _

She was just about to dial Teagan’s number and invite her over when she saw something which made her blood freeze.

A man was standing in her garden. A man in dirty green overalls and wearing a sheep’s mask, to be exact. He was just standing there, staring at her through her kitchen window, his head cocked to the side like a dog.

The scene was so bizarre that it was a few seconds before Samantha reacted.

“What the fuck? Why the fuck is he dressed like that? What the fucking fuck?” She hissed under her breath, slowly backing away. All the while she planned how to get this man the fuck out of her home. She’d run up the stairs, she’d barricade herself into the bathroom and call the police…

“ _ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! _ ” A deranged voice came from behind her.

She screamed, spinning round to come face to a face with a hulking, black-bearded man with deranged eyes. Samantha felt sick just at the sight of him. He looked like the type who would beat her, kill her, and then rape her dead and battered body.

_ Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuuuuuck! I have to arm myself!  _ **_FUCK!_ **

Turning around, she went to grab the nearest kitchen knife at her disposal. To her horror, she was met with the sight of the man from the garden now standing inside her kitchen. Both her escape routes were now blocked off.

The man behind her wrapped his large arms around her body, trapping her. “No! Noooo! Let me go! Let go of meeee! HELP! I’m being attacked!  _ HELP ME! _ ”

A chuckle answered her pleas, one that didn’t belong to neither men currently assaulting her. “Help? There ain’t no one coming to help you, darling. You’re ours to play with now for as long as we desire..”

The man holding her turned around so she was facing the door. Standing there, an amused grin on his face, was a shorter, smaller man dressed in an outfit that reminded her of Max Cady from Cape Fear.

“Forgive me, where are my manners? I am Bray Wyatt, the  _ Eater of Worlds _ . And those two gentlemen are my sons, Erick Rowan, and Luke Harper. You’re probably wondering why we decided to pay you a visit, unannounced like this. Well, you see, man, you did something very foolish, very foolish indeed.” His smile turned sinister. “You played a dangerous game and messed with forces beyond your understanding. You’ve gone and angered a dark, primordial being, the monster that scares the wolves and lions you sheep fear so.”

Samantha stared at him, eyes bulging. _Oh God, he’s mad. He’s absolutely out of his fucking mind!_ **_Fuck, this can’t be happening!_**

Arms held aloft, Bray looked up and announced, “Ain’t that right, Demon King?”

***

_ Upon my entry, the look of pure shock on Samantha’s face was nothing short of precious. _

_ “Right you are, Bray. Excellent work,” I praised. _

_ I studied Samantha closely. She shook her head in utter disbelief. _

_ “Nonononono, it wasn’t me! It wasn’t  _ **_me_ ** _ , Finn, I swear! It was the others, they set her up, I'm innocent in all of this!” She wailed and cried. “Please don't let them kill me, I'll do anything you say!” _

_ In a swift movement I grabbed her face to shut her up. Staring into her red, teary eyes, I said coldly, “You know...the tongue is a curious tool. It can heal, or it can hurt. It can speak happiness, or speak destruction. And yours has done nothing but ruin lives and caused chaos everywhere it goes.” _

_ Bray asked excitedly, “We're dying to toy with this little lamb, my King. ‘Course, if you desire something different-” _

_ “Not at all, Bray. You're more than welcome to do as you please. I ask only for one thing.” I run my thumb across her shuddering mouth. “And I think you know exactly what it is.” _

_ The answering smiles told me all I needed to know. _

_ “The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom…” I released her face and stepped back. _

_ Bray, having grabbed a curved kitchen knife, stepped in front of Samantha and finished the verse, “...but the froward tongue shall be cut out.” _

_ She screamed, struggling with each cut, until the screaming turned to strangled gurgling. Blood pooled up in her mouth and spilled forth past her lips, staining her clothes and the carpet beneath her. _

_ After she fainted from the pain, they trussed her up and prepared to take off. I gave Bray my express permission to toy with her to his black heart's content and, as extra incentive; he would be allowed to consume her soul entirely. _

_ (This may come as a surprise, but this is something of a rare occurrence. Nearly all demons – myself included – eat enough of the soul to nourish ourselves, but leave just enough that it can still be sent to Hell when its physical body dies. _

_ This is for three reasons: _

_ 1) It’s a simple, effective way of testing a demon’s restraint. If they can't eat a soul without consuming all of it, then they’re a potential risk in that they’re too greedy to follow simple orders, or just won’t and can’t.  _

_ 2) It’s a nice treat for demons to work hard for.  _

_ 3) Hell needs entertainment and food, after all. _

_ In Samantha’s case, however, I was willing to make an exception. _

_ I wanted her gone. In  _ **_every_ ** _ sense of the word. _

_ Bray was gleeful; it's always nice to boost morale every now and then. _

_ Any good leader worth a damn goes out into the field, making the same contributions to ensure his team is successful. _

_ Which is precisely why I'm off to handle personally the last on my list:  _ **_Dawn_ ** _. _

***

“Did you hear? A dead body was found in the Chicago River today. That’s the  _ third _ one they’ve found this month.”

“No way! You think it’s…?”

“Yeah. The cops think so. I mean, he was last spotted in Missouri, which is right next to Illinois…”  

“Urgh. Thank God we don’t live there. I hope ‘The Viper’  _ never _ comes to this place.”

“Hey, Mandy, the bus still has, like, ten minutes left. Let’s just walk to my place, it isn’t far.”

I watched, disappointed, as the two school girls retreated. I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, but I couldn’t help it. I was bored, standing around and waiting at the bus stop, plus this was ‘The Viper’ they were talking about. 

‘The Viper’ was Randy Orton, a serial killer who came to infamy around twenty eight years ago, and was currently at large. He’d earned his moniker due to the fact that his body movements and the way he stalked his victims before striking was akin to a snake, while his preferred method of killing was to punt them in the head and keep on stomping until it was completely pulverised.  _ Very _ gruesome stuff.

He’d been caught once before, but, unbelievably, had managed to escape. Now, was on the FBI’s Most Wanted list and law enforcement being on the lookout and hunt for him in every state. How he had evaded capture a second time for so long was anyone’s guess, but his indiscriminate choice in victims, as well as having a cool-down period that lasted several months probably helped greatly.

It was April currently. If Orton followed the same pattern he usually did, a few more people would die by his hand this month, and then he’d go back into hiding come May before resurfacing in September. Where he chose to strike next was the big mystery...

“He won’t come here. That snake wouldn’t dare.”

Blinking, I turned around to see who had spoke. Much to my surprise, I saw it was none other than the man I’d bumped into yesterday. He was still wearing the same clothes and fedora as last time, only now he had a different hawaiian shirt (a rather loud, orange floral pattern).

Considering the company he kept, I probably shouldn’t have engaged him in conversation, but, before I could stop myself, I asked, “What makes you say that?”

He chuckled. “Why, because I, Bray Wyatt, have chosen this land as my domain. Randy is many things, but he’s not stupid. He knows I am looking for him, and he also knows that if I find him he will not like the things I will do. No, not one bit.”

“You… You  _ know _ him?” I found it hard to believe. For all I know, this Bray Wyatt was wasn’t quite right in the head and just spouting tales. 

As if sensing my scepticism, Bray rummaged in his white trouser pocket and brought out an old, tattered photograph.

He held it out to me. “I tell no lies. I am the Man of a Thousand Truths and this is just one of them. See for yourself.”

Tentatively, I took it. My eyes widened as I flipped it over and saw Bray in the photo, manically smiling, and standing next to Randy Orton who was gazing at the camera with a cold look that was uncomfortable to look at. By the looks of it, Bray knew him when he’d already started his infamous, deadly career as ‘The Viper’.

“Wo-wow, that’s… What was he like? And why are you looking for him? What did he do?” Insanely curious, I shoot question after question at Bray, wanting to know as much as I possibly could.

Bray laughed, amused. “Oh, how I love your childish curiosity and thirst for knowledge! You remind me of myself when I was just a little eight year old, living on my daddy’s shrimp boat in Lafayette. I, too, had a desire to learn, to find out everything this big, wide, wicked world had to offer. And, you know what? I found it.  _ I know things now. _ ”

His smile turned genteel. “Tell me...are you lost, little lamb?”

“Lost? Erm… I’m not sure I understand. Not really?” I said, starting to get uncomfortable.  _ Great job, Teagan, you just had to go and open your big mouth, didn’t you? _

“No? You sure about that? Heh, not how it looks to me.” Thankfully, he backed off. It seemed he would be the one leaving this time, not I. “But that’s okay, man, I understand. Humans are creatures of comfort, they’d rather crawl on the ground because that’s what they know rather than walk upright and proud on the path of enlightenment.”

Giving a curt bow, Bray started to walk away, but not before calling over his shoulder, “Should you wake up and open your eyes to the lie you’re living, Teagan Dunn, then all you need to do is follow the buzzards and you will find me and the rest of my family.”

Weirded out -  _ he’s definitely got a few screws loose _ \- I resumed waiting for the bus so I could go home.

It wasn’t until later that I realised something worryingly: 

_ How did he know my name? _

***

_ So...the case of Dawn Austin. _

_ Spoiled little rich girl. Born and bred drama queen. Pampered entitled princess. _

_ Whatever spin you put on it, she is a rich bitch who throws tantrums after being told no. She's used to getting what she wants, when she wants it, from whomever she wants it. _

_ It's stunning to think that Dawn managed to breeze through life without choking on the silver spoon (or cock, depending on her mood) in her mouth. Even after her parents threatened to kick her out of the house to teach her independence - something that they should have had their nannies teach her at the very least - Dawn somehow manages to get others to do the work for her. _

_ No job, no savings, no prospects. In fact, the “makeup artist” stopped holding water after she made death threats to (and attempted to assault) an actress while on a trial run for a potential job with a movie studio. Doesn't mean she's giving up on her delusion, blacklist be damned. _

_ Yet she parties with anyone who pays and uses the people she claims to care about. _

_ Fortunately for her, she isn't home yet. _

_ But I'm very patient. And her chair is comfortable. _

***

Dawn Austin barged through her front door, not caring when it bashed against the expensive porcelain vase sitting next to it.

Running upstairs, she pulled out her over $2000 Louis Vuitton travel luggage from under the bed and proceeded to start shoving as much of her clothes, jewellery, and shoes into it as she possibly could. 

Once packed, she dialed her sugar daddy’s number.

“Hey, Papi, it’s me, Dawnie.” She cooed, putting on a babyish voice. “Listen, you remember you asked me if I wanted to go on holiday with you to Majorca next week? Well, I was thinking that I love the idea so much that I want to go as soon as possible. Like, tonight or tomorrow. What do you say, Papi? Will you take me? Pwetty pwease?”

She smiled triumphantly as Diego’s answer was yes. God, men - especially the older ones with lots of money to burn - were so easy to wrap around her little finger.

With the most pressing matter out of the way, she tried calling Jessica, Laura and Samantha to let them know that she would be out of the country for the while. Unlike them, she wasn’t planning to stick around for the ensuing shitstorn that was sure to come their way. No, she intended to skip town and stay abroad until things had died down and the whole unpleasantness was forgotten about.

She frowned when she either received an answering machine or a “This person’s phone is switched off’ response. What the hell was going on? All three never went anywhere without their phones, they should have picked up immediately…

Deciding that could wait til later, she then dialed Teagan’s number. That, too, went to the answering machine.

Dawn made sure to leave a message filled with pure vitriol.

“Hi, Teagan, or should I say Little Miss Cunt,” she said in an over the top cheerful voice. “Just thought you should know that I’ll be on holiday as of tomorrow. Diego is taking me on an all-expenses paid trip to Majorca. I’m looking SO forward to all the stuff I’m going to get to do, especially sunbathing on the beach. I’ll be sure to send you the photos...oh wait, I won’t, because you’ll probably be too busy freezing to death out on the street.  _ Boo, hoo! _ ”

She carried her luggage down the stairs before leaving it by the door. “Anyway, don’t get any ideas into you head about staying there while I’m away. I’m going to tell Cade - you know him, right? Brain and body of an orangutan, worships the ground I walk on - that I want you out, and he if he catches you still living there after one week, or trying to sneak back in...well, do I even need to explain what he’ll do to you?”

“Anyway, have to go. Swamped with stuff to do - not that you’d have any idea what that’s like. Have fun living your sad, lonely life, Tea, and don’t come crying back to me when Saint Finn cons you out of all your money and you realise what a big mistake you made. Bye now! Hugs and kisses! Kill yourself!”  

Dawn hung up, a smirk of relish on her face.

Some would say the stuff she was saying was beyond the pale, though she would say she was teaching a lesson. In her eyes, Teagan had committed the cardinal sin of forgetting her place.

It had been pretty straightforward. Teagan was allowed to stay in her parent’s home, be a part of her inner circle, and reap the benefits that came from being friends with her, which, quite frankly, was more than generous, all things considering. And, in return, she was Dawn’s emotional punching bag. Whenever she wanted to feel important or special or Teagan seemed to be doing better at something compared to her, she got to stomp on Teagan’s happiness, tear down her confidence, and remind her what a worthless human being she was. How she was lucky to have her as a friend, how she  _ owed _ her.

And she did it all with a smile on her face and under the pretense that she was ‘looking out for her friend’, enough so Teagan would kid herself that she was important to Dawn and put up with it. Dawn didn’t think she was in the wrong for treating her that way. Wasn’t that the way of the world? Those at the top got to look down on and step on those at the bottom? Really, Teagan only had herself to blame. She was the one who was so desperate and lonely she’d put up with all kinds of shit if it meant having a friend.

Packed and ready to leave, she made her way into her living room and flicked on the light switch.

Only to shriek loudly when she saw Finn Bálor sitting in her big armchair. “Wh- What are you doing here!? And how the fuck did you get in!?”

***

_ Before Dawn finally decided to turn on the light in her living room, I was quite enjoying the Italian leather armchair. If I could sleep, I would have caught a quick nap. _

_ What I enjoyed even more? Hearing her bury herself. _

_ It added kindling to the fiery rage I held for her to begin with, hearing from her own lips that she was kicking Teagan Dunn out of her home and that she wanted her to kill herself. _

_ She will not be making it to Majorca. She won't even be setting a foot outside of this room. _

_ “Hello again, Dawn.” I glanced at her bags. “Running off somewhere? Dodging arrest, perhaps?” _

_ She stood, attempting to be defiant. “Vacation. Not that it's any of your fucking business. How did you even get in here? Are you with the fucking Irish mob or some shit? Did Teagan put you up to this to stop me from evicting her? ‘Cause I'll fucking tell you what I told your little bitch-” _

_ “That's enough out of you.” _

_ With a snap of my fingers, I lashed an invisible tendril of energy around her throat and squeezed. She tried to grasp at her neck, but felt nothing against her skin. _

_ I live for the sheer terror when they realize that they aren't dealing with a human being. And Dawn’s? My favorite so far. The panic in her eyes, the dropped jaw, the frozen limbs, the flush of blood in her face. _

_ Of course the latter is from my strangling her, but...semantics. _

_ “Quiet now, child, a grown-up is talking.” _

_ I stood up slowly and walked around. “I don’t need to tell you what kind of position you're in - I'm sure you already know you're fucked. I'm sure you also know that I'm not human. _

_ “But Teagan is. She's  _ **_exquisitely_ ** _ human, with a soul that puts your shit-stain smudge to shame. And everything you've done to destroy her, to humiliate her, to make her feel like less than nothing? All you've done is lead her right to me. _

_ “What I have planned for her...is, as you like to say, none of your fucking business. But I have you to thank for it. She deserved so much better than a disgusting troll like you, and she'll have it. Because she won't have you - or your bitch squad to deal with - anymore.” _

_ I had images of everything I wanted to do to Dawn. Toss her through several windows, drop her into the Dead Sea (to match the equivalence of her own saltiness), leave her in the Sahara for the vultures, burn the remains, and piss on the ashes. _

_ But death was too easy. Death was getting off light from what she so richly deserved. And that simply would not do. _

_ Dawn's body lifted several inches off the floor as the tendril pulled upward as a noose. And then she was slung, like a dirty rag doll, from floor to ceiling, wall to wall. _

_ Slamming her back and forth, up and down, was quite therapeutic. Not breaking anything, of course. For what I had in mind, I needed her alibi. _

_ More tendrils pulled her by the ankles and wrists, spreading her apart like the irresponsible meatbag that she was. _

_ “Dawn Austin,” I intoned with authority. “You have been placed on the scales and found wanting. You are guilty of the crimes of avarice, sloth, greed, lust, envy, and harming an innocent. You have been sentenced to an eternal torment in which you will look upon the faces of every single person you have used or hurt as they rip your flesh from your bones. No worries, it'll grow back. And they will rip it off again. And again. And again. And just like you, they will never be satisfied.” _

_ Her swollen eyes filled with tears. She tried to form words but, I imagine, it's hard to do when you're being strangled. So I eased up a bit. Famous last words, and all that. _

_ “Wh-What are you?” She gasped and sputtered. _

_ My visage fell away, revealing my true, terrifying form as it swallowed her whole. Funny that my face, as it devoured her soul to a tiny sliver, would be the last thing she ever saw on Earth. _

_ But knowing she would see Teagan’s face forever as it tore her body asunder? Worth it. _

_ “ _ **_The Demon King_ ** _.” _

 


	8. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vulnerable moment, and other new experiences. (Warning for mentions of self-harm and attempted suicide)

When I told Dawn that I could be out of the house in three days, that hadn’t been necessarily true.

I could be out by tomorrow.

The plan had been to move out next Monday. I’d pack up my stuff over the weekend, go to church one last time, say my goodbyes to Finn, Mrs. Glover, Father Cody, and anyone else who’d made my stay here one I’d look back on fondly, and then I’d hike over to my next destination.

And then I heard the voice message Dawn had left for me and I changed my mind.

Though it would put me out considerably - not only did I NOT get to do anything I had planned, I was going to have to rush deciding what town I moved to next - I was set on my decision. I refused to stay any longer if that was the level of maliciousness I was going to have to deal with. With the way Dawn was right now, I feared for my safety.

Having put the last of my clothes into my hiking backpack, I slumped down onto the couch with a sigh.  _ There, done. _

Moving house was always a stressful affair, in large part to how much stuff people normally had to take with them. The beds, household appliances, all the knick-knacks and treasured items, etc. And that wasn’t even taking into account the calls that would have to be made to cancel or cross over bills and surfaces.

That was not a problem for me. I arrived in this town with next to nothing, and five months on I was leaving with next to nothing.

_ How depressing. _

Suddenly the doorbell rang. I froze, peeking at the clock on the wall. The time was 19:00 - I wasn’t expecting anyone.

Dawn’s voice rang out in my mind:

“ _ I’m going to tell Cade that I want you out...and he if he catches you still living there after one week, or trying to sneak back in...well, do I even need to explain what he’ll do to you? _ ”

Gulping -  _ What if this was a warning in case she thought I’d call her bluff? _ \- I grabbed a rolling pin from its holder and slowly approached my door. When the doorbell rang again, I called out, “Who is it?”

***

_ After taking care of a loose end (i.e. slicing Cade’s Achilles tendons and tossing him into the pit was quick enough in a pinch), I cleaned up and put on more relaxed clothes before showing up at Teagan’s door. _

_ I was concerned that she would be in a panic after the voicemail. Not that anyone would blame her. Being threatened with violence by a meathead would be frightening for anyone without a protector. _

_ And Cade? _

_ Ha. I've seen bigger figures among the feathery bastards. _

_ “It's Finn.” _

***

Relief filled every pore in me and an overwhelming sense of safeness replaced it at the sound of Finn’s voice. And with it came joy, because, through things were looking bad, God had decided to throw me a bone. I would at least get to say goodbye to Finn.

Dropping the rolling pin, I unlocked the door and opened it.

“Finn! I’m so glad to see you!” And then I quickly remembered I looked, to put it lightly, a bit of my mess. My eyes were red rimmed from all the crying I’d done after hearing Dawn’s message, while I overall looked quite harried.

I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to make myself look halfway decent. “Co-Come in, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“I tried to find a way to get in contact with you today, but, obviously, I couldn’t. Your Facebook was private and Google gave me nothing but stuff to do with Irish mythology - Oh God, does that make me sound like I’m stalking you? I swear I wasn’t, I just wanted to find out the name of your law firm so I could get in touch.”

My nerves caused me to ramble as I led him from the hallway into the living room. I was dreading having to tell him.

My backpack lay smack-dab in the middle of the room, with $100 worth of cash (my entire savings) and a map wide open on the floor next to it. It didn’t leave much to the imagination on what I was planning to do.

“So, I went to see Dawn today, and, erm, not going to lie, it went pretty badly. Things were said. Really hurtful, nasty things. She...” I took a deep breath. “She’s also kicking me out. Wants me gone by next Friday ‘or else’,” I did the quotation marks with my fingers. “I told her I’d leave on Monday, but I think I’m just going to go tomorrow instead. I don’t really feel safe here anymore.”

“I guess what I’m saying is...this is goodbye.” I finished.

***

_ I hoped the expression on my face was thoughtful and pensive, because inside I was dancing a fucking jig knowing that the latter was no longer true. _

_ Considering this, I lean towards a lighthearted, thoughtful conversation. “You're doing that thing where you start more than one conversation again. And I really should remember to put my number in your phone.” _

_ Judging from the quizzical look on Teagan’s face, I'd succeeded in at least distracting her. I continued, “And secondly…” _

_ I took her into my arms, holding her firmly to me and placing a kiss on top of her head. “I don't want you to go, lovely. You don't need to run because Dawn's a vindictive twit. There's gotta be something we can do.” _

 

_ Suddenly, I let go, realizing that it might have been a bit much to soon. Not the kind of misstep I would normally make. _

***

A blush rose to my face and I struggled to respond, too surprised by Finn’s sudden display of affection. This had to be the first time he’d being so forward with me (or was it? I couldn’t remember, not right now when my mind was all over the place) and I didn’t know how to react. I’d...never being held by a man like this before…

“I don’t want to go either, but I have no choice.” I insisted, feeling worse by the second. “I don’t own this house, her parents do and they only let me stay because she asked them if I could. The second she gets on the phone to them and tells them of our falling out, that’s it. I can kiss this place goodbye. And even if they decided to let me stay, Dawn would never let me live in peace. She’s already threatening to have one of her friends come and force me out. I don’t want to live like that.”

“I can’t even rent a room,” I remarked bitterly. “I don’t have enough money to pay the deposit and one month’s rent up front. And even if I did, they wouldn’t consider me because I’m not employed. Oh, and I have no references. Unless you count Dawn, who  _ will _ sabotage things for me.”

I pulled myself away from Finn’s arms. “I’ve got to face facts, Finn. I’m done here.”

_ Homeless again. Skipping town again. God, this is the worst case of déjà vu ever. _

***

_ There's something to be said for keeping two steps ahead. I'd already gotten in touch with Dawn's parents. They were willing to sell it to me upon hearing the generous offer I'd made. We would be meeting tomorrow to discuss closing costs and other necessities. _

_ But I couldn’t tell Teagan that. Instead, “Maybe I can talk to her parents on your behalf. They might be reasonable people. And you know the work I do - I could talk them into letting you stay until you get sorted out.” _

***

I didn’t respond, considering his offer.

I’d met met Dawn’s parents a couple of times. I remembered vividly the day she’d asked permission for me to stay, about two weeks after I arrived in the small town. I was certain it wouldn’t work, but shockingly, they had agreed to it. Mr. Austin had said he admired my perseverance, how I was still finding ways to get by despite my situation. And Mrs. Austin had stopped by the night I officially moved in to give me some of her homemade casserole. She’d given me this sad smile when I’d just stared at her, stunned, as if she knew that a mother’s tender, loving care was an alien concept to me.

They were good people. They didn’t deserve to have someone as selfish and ungrateful as Dawn for a daughter.

Finally, I spoke. “Even...even if they did, I still have Dawn and her friends to worry about. I don’t think there’s anything you can do about them, and I don’t expect you, too. You’ve done enough for me, Finn.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay. I…I’ve being homeless before.”

I hesitated. I didn’t like talking about my past to people. As well as bringing up raw, painful feelings in me, I felt as if I was slowly revealing, bit by bit, how dreadful and contemptible a human being I was. That it was only a matter of time till the real me was fully exposed, rendering my attempts to hide and repress it all for naught.

“I...I won’t bore you with the details, but my parents kicked me out and told me to leave and never come back. I was basically homeless for a good year before coming here and I got by just fine. I mean, I-I’m not saying it was easy - for a while  I was in a pretty bad place - but I managed. I did it once, I can do it again.”

*** 

_ I hated her parents more and more with every terrible reveal. It was...barbaric to think that any sensible being could harm their offspring that way. _

_ “I'm so sorry for what you've been through, Teagan. I know...with all that's happened, it doesn’t seem like there's any hope. But, as long as I'm here, I want to do everything in my power to help you. Will you let me try? Will you give me until tomorrow night to come up with a solution for you? If not, I'll help you find a new home myself. No strings attached.” _

***

“...You’re so nice. I...I’m really not worth the effort, but..if you insist. I won’t get my hopes though. You know, in case I still have to...to go.”

I wanted to cry then. This horrible day spent having abuse hurled at me and the stress of looming eviction finally started to get too much. I’d managed to keep it all in, but talking with Finn now, the reality of it was finally starting to sink in.

My lip wobbling, eyes filling with tears, I turned my back on Finn and tried to hold it together.

I failed.

“I’m sorry... It’s just, I really don’t want to be homeless again. Or alone again.” I finally confessed, admitting I was not fine at all.

Growing up with my parents had been horrible. I hated every second of it, but at least I had a roof over my head. Food, clothing, and the occasional friendly person to make smalltalk with in the library or at church.

But that year after my mother kicked me out was a living hell. I was constantly on the move, having to beg and depend on the kindness of strangers just to get by. There were nights when I had shack up with drug addicts and all other unseemly because the alternative was sleeping in an alley or whoring myself out or worse.

And the loneliness -  _ God, the loneliness! _ Having literally no one to talk to because most people would take one look at me and avoid me like the plague (those that didn’t were trying to get me to sell myself or be a drug mule). There were days where I thought I would lose my mind, where I went so long without saying a word that people assumed I was a mute.

Dawn and the others liked to make fun of how boring my life was - and it was, no denying that - but what they didn’t realise was that anything was better than the lonely, empty existence I’d been living a year before I came into their lives. 

In hindsight, I think that’s why I stuck with Dawn. Even though she wasn’t that nice a person, even though she was a bad friend...at least I wasn’t alone. A bad friend was better than having none at all, and this one had welcomed me into their life with open arms and helped me in ways I never could have imagined. To expect anything more, as if I wasn’t lucky she even showed me the time of day, would be the height of ungratefulness.

That was the worst thing of all about all of this. Everything Dawn had said to me was right. She had saved me. Even if she’d had ulterior motives, if she hadn’t ran into me that fateful night five months ago...I might not be standing here now.

***

_ I placed a hand on her shoulders, knowing she wouldn't turn back to face me yet. “You won't be left alone, Teagan. I can promise you that. And...you're so strong. To have gone through so much pain and uncertainty and still be so… compassionate and selfless. I admire that about you. Which is why I'd be remiss if I didn't try. Like I said, I know your reserves are low, but...keep up hope just a little longer. And let me try. You’re worth it to me. Whether you believe that or not, it's true.” _

_ Not a single lie passed my lips. She needed to hear that. _

***

I wanted to believe Finn when he said that. Really, I did. But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. I’d spent my whole life being told how terrible I was - and by my own parent, the one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally - that the opinion had taken root deep inside me. So deep, I was afraid that nobody, not even Finn, would be able to change my mind.

I turned back to Finn.

“Okay, if you say so.”

“So, erm, what now? What about us?” I asked with uncertainty, motioning him between him and I. “I’m guessing we should call it a day on going on anymore dates, huh?”

He’d said I wouldn’t be alone and he seemed to care for me, so us remaining friends seemed likely. I could live with that and I still stand by my opinion that a romantic relationship between us would never have worked. Finn was too nice, too good for someone like me.

“Was really looking forward to Legoland,” I joked.

As the saying went, at times like these, all you could do was laugh.

***

_ It was...  _ **_difficult_ ** _ to see Teagan so downtrodden. And it took everything I had not to open the lid on my surprise. It was for the best, though, and it would be worth her joy in the end. _

_ One step closer. _

_ “Well,” I started. “We could still do Legoland.” _

_ Her head tilted in that puzzled way that puppies tend to do. “I know what you're thinking right now. There's probably no point if it could be over tomorrow. But...isn't that why we should? You need a friend right now, and to make at least one more good memory.” _

_ I brushed the tears from her face, catching another before it fell. Resting a hand upon her cheek, I offered a smile. “So, how about it? Leave the misery behind for now and have one more night of fun?” _

***

My lips twitched, a smile fighting to come out. “A night of fun sounds nice. I’d like that. I’d like that a lot. Let’s do it.”

I sighed. “And, I’m not saying we shouldn’t date anymore because of the whole losing my house thing - I mean, of course, that goes without saying. I’m saying it because I don’t think a relationship between us would work.”

Seeing his questioning expression, I elaborated. “Listen, I like you.  _ A lot _ . I’d LOVE for you to be my boyfriend. And I like the me I am when I'm with you. I...I feel happy and...normal.” I lowered my arms to my side, and looked down. “But, it wouldn’t last, Finn. I’m  _ not _ a good person and someone you should want to be in any kind of a relationship with. Sooner or later, you’ll see the real me and that’ll be it. You’ll leave and never come back.”

*** 

_ I've had all manner of women - and some men - over the years pledge affection for me. To the point that they were willing to give up their lives to run away with me. Even though I knew it was simply the devilish charm talking, I couldn’t help but look at them as if they were insane. _

_ But this was very much out of the ordinary. That she would make such a statement shook to the core of my being, and that speaks volumes since I hadn’t really used much influence on her at all. _

_ No, this was genuine. From the heart, as it's often said. _

_ “Teagan…” I leaned in to land a delicate kiss on her forehead, lingering for a moment before sitting back. “I don’t scare easily. I never have been. And anything that you've done? Trust me, there's a good chance I've seen worse, especially in my line of work. But you...I don't believe for a second that you're even remotely repulsive. You aren't what happened to you, or what others did to you - those things, those people...now  _ **_they_ ** _ were repulsive. _

_ “What I mean to say is that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you to deal with shit alone. And I'm here for as long as you want me to be.” _

***

_ You don’t know, though. You don’t know the things I’ve done, the thoughts I’ve had. _

I can’t say I was surprised by Finn’s response. Of course he’d say such sweet things, he was a special kind of guy, so good-hearted and caring. There was no malice in him. Unlike people like Dawn who had simply pretended to be nice and decent, Finn just was. 

“I have a feeling you’re not going to budge on this...”

If he succeeded in saving my house and I stayed in this town, I could see the two of us going around in circles over this. I’d warn him I was no good and he was better just giving up on me. And he’d tell me he liked me and wasn’t going anywhere. Rinse and repeat.

In the words of The Joker from The Dark Knight, this was very much a case of when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Him and I, it would not end well. I knew it.

However, since Finn refused to see sense and leave like any sane person would, I decided I might as well try a different tactic.

“You know how, on our second date, you asked me what was the craziest thing I’ve done? And I told you it was when I tried to see how long I could go without sleeping?”

I pulled up the sleeves on my oversized sweater, revealing the scars on my wrists. “I lied.”

“I tried to kill myself a few years back. It was just after my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. Wasn’t over him though, it was more the straw that broke the camel’s back. I…” I faltered, lip wobbling as I remembered it all over again. The act itself, and waking up in hospital all alone. And the disappointment that I’d failed, that I couldn’t even kill myself properly. “I couldn’t find a reason to go on living anymore.”

***

_ There's a moment that I entertain. One that, if I could get away with it, I would do so without hesitation. If I touched every pink, jagged inch of scars on her arms, they would heal. Completely. Wouldn’t be the first time I've shown Jesus up. _

_ But it would never happen. Aside from Teagan screaming her head off because “how the fuck did you do that?!” But because these scars serve a new purpose. _

_ My fingers absently traced every hurtful line, each ruched trail of skin. And I studied them, each one connecting the dots of a melancholic scene. _

_ I looked back up at her, eye to eye,and said, “This...is nothing to be ashamed of, Teagan.” _

***

“Yes, it is!” My voice was harder than I intended. “Suicide is a mortal sin. God gave me life and I tried to take it away. I was weak-”

I froze as it dawned on me then that I sound  _ exactly _ like my mother. Everything I’m saying now is what she said to me after said suicide attempt (though hers was far harsher and had talk of eternal damnation thrown in there for good measure).

“Sorry.” I apologised. “Old habits die hard, you know?”

I took a seat next to him. “You’re the second person I’ve now told. Dawn was the first. Really, I never wanted anyone to know about it. I didn’t want them to pity me or to start giving me special treatment because they’re worried I’d break again. I think Dawn expected me to. She and the others were always making comments like  _ ‘If I had a life like yours, Tea, I think I’d slit my wrists’ _ or  _ ‘How do you get up in the morning? I’d just give up and die!’  _ They couldn’t fathom that I like my life now. ”

I glared down at my scars. “I will  _ never _ let myself be reduced to that again.”

***  

_ “I'm not here to pity you, Teagan,” I replied. “You're not someone to be pitied. You're someone...who should have gotten a hell of a lot better than you received. _

_ “Every scar you made,” - my fingers traced them again, slowly this time - “is a message. A plea for help, for understanding, for the compassion of someone,  _ **_anyone_ ** _ , who would just  _ **_listen_ ** _. And you mother is wrong - this isn't weakness. This is you having to be strong for far too long, with no one to help you when you finally broke.” _

_ Both of her hands were taken up by mine as I grasp them to emphasize my point. “There is no sin in falling apart. No shame in needing someone. The real shame falls on the ones that led you to inflict these scars. You're still here, lovely, because you fought even when you wanted to give up. I told you this once before, Teagan Dunn, and I stand by it: you're pretty brave.” _

***

I felt myself overcome with emotion. Finn’s acceptance and reassurance went above and beyond what I’d expected. I’d expected pity. Or for him to be put off. Not this.

After having my suicide attempt be treated as a shameful weakness that needed to be swept under the rug by my mother, and brushed off with barely any concern by Dawn, I’d treated it with the same attitude.  _ Don’t ever let anyone find out, it’s wrong and no one will understand, _ \- that’s what I thought.

But Finn had. Finn understood perfectly and he made me see the positive side of it, something I didn’t even think existed.

In that moment, I didn’t feel so ashamed of it anymore. I didn’t have to cover up my arm all the time, lest someone see. It was not a mark of my failures, but of the hardships I’d overcome. I was here, now, and I was happy. Isn’t that what really mattered?

I threw my arms around Finn, fresh tears falling down my eyes. Only this time, they were of the happy kind.

***

_ I held her tightly this time as she cried. It was as if something inside had broken at last, a dam bursting forth from the strain of keeping the tide at bay for longer than it should have. _

_ It was what she needed. And there was more to come. _

_ “It's alright, lovely. You're alright.” I comforted and soothed for as long as she held on, as long as she desired. _

_ Progress takes time. Healing, even more so. _

_ Patience isn't just a virtue for the birds. _

***

How long did I sit there, clinging to Finn and crying my heart out? I wasn’t sure as I lost track of time. When I finally did release him, absolutely spent, and look at the clock on my wall, I saw that it was now 10:00.

It was getting late.

“Finn, I’m sorry to bother you like this, but do you think you could stay here tonight? I don’t really feel safe being alone right now. I’m scared Dawn might send someone round to break in or worse...”

***

_ I wanted to reply with:  _ **_You'll never have to worry about those monsters ever again. You're safe now, with me._ **

_ But that would set off a chain of landmines I was unprepared to diffuse. _

_ Instead I said, “Of course, Teagan.” _

***

My body, which had stiffened with tension, relaxed noticeably. “Thank you. It means a lot to me. I feel really safe with you, Finn.”

And then, cautiously, I kissed him on the cheek.

I was blushing bright red immediately after.  _ Maybe I should keep a tally of how many times this is happening? _

Good thing for Finn, the house had a spare bedroom for any guests such as himself. When I first arrived, it’d been this completely white, barren room with only a made up bed in it. That soon changed when I, with not much else to do except for applying to job adverts and getting my name out there, convinced Dawn to let me decorate it.

Now, with its sky blue wallpaper, new white curtains and bedding, and furniture I’d salvaged from the local dump (Dawn was horrified. She didn’t get how some people chucked out things that weren’t broken or were still in good condition), it now looked quite homely, with the blue adding a touch of serenity. The fact that her parents seemed to like it made me even prouder. It was them who suggested I think about pursuing a career in decorating homes in the first place.

“Here’s your room. I’ll be sure to wake up are if I hear anything in the night. Touch wood that doesn’t happen.”

I went to leave Finn to get settled, to go to my bedroom and get changed and go to sleep - after the day I’d had, I wanted nothing more than to have a good night’s rest - but then a question came to my head.

“What kind of eggs do you like?”

Random? Yes. But I was going somewhere with this.

***

**_My my, wonders never cease. The little blushing bauble is finding her sparkle. A small step, but a step nonetheless._ **

_ The spot on my cheek still warm from where she left her kiss, I reply with a fond smile, “Scrambled. Why - you planning breakfast? ‘Cause I can make the fluffiest pancakes you've ever had. Maybe we can collaborate?” _

***

_ Oooh, pancakes!  _ If I had said that thought out loud then, I reckon I would have sounded exactly like a female Homer Simpson.

It was a very tempting offer, one I wanted to accept if not for the fact that it went against my entire plan to treat him. Granted, Finn suggested we cook  _ together _ , but still. I’d wanted him to wake up in the morning to a readymade breakfast, dammit!

I pouted at him. “I was, but it won’t be much of a surprise now. Dammit, I thought I was being subtle.”

“Okay, sure, let’s collaborate. What do you suggest?” I asked.

I was apprehensive as I was not the greatest of cooks. Up until five months ago, I couldn’t cook a goddamn thing, something which Dawn loved pointing out was a huge failure on my part as a woman. “ _ No man wants a woman that can’t cook, Tea, _ ” she’d said, even though she couldn’t either. Her comeback was always, “ _ Yeah, but that doesn’t matter because I’ll marry someone rich and have servants. No one will marry you. _ ” 

Looking back on my relationship with Dawn, I’m stunned at how I was able to put up with her for five whole months. Though it may not seem it, my confidence really had come far. The me of five months ago would probably have let Dawn and her friends get away with what they did…

*** 

_ She was nervous about this, I could tell. “I’m sorry, that wasn't my intent. I thought it might be fun...and we'll keep it simple. Pancakes, eggs, some fruit if you like.” I walked closer until I stood in front of her. “Of course, if you want to go with your original plan, I can still  _ **_act_ ** _ surprised.” I couldn’t help but smirk. _

***

“Yeah, but we’d both know the truth. It’d be a hollow victory and I go for gold,” I joked back. “Plus, I really want to try some pancakes now. I tried to make them myself once and...well, I don’t know what they were, but they weren’t pancakes.”

_ Well, that sorts out breakfast. Need a new idea now though… _

“I really want to treat you to something. You know, as a thank you for being you.” I stated.

And then, just like that, the idea came to me.

“Sit down and take off your shirt.” I called out, only realising once I’d said it that I sounded a  _ tad _ bit aggressive. I tried to rectify this. “I mean, please. Not trying to boss you around or anything…”

***

_ Oh, this is too good  _ **_not_ ** _ to tease back. _

_ I let a cocky grin show as I shot back, “Hey, I like when a woman bosses me around.” _

 

_ Turning back to the bed to raise my shirt over my head, I added, “‘Course, I also like to do the bossing around, if you follow me.” _

***

“Erm...erm…I don’t think you have to worry about me bossing you around.”

 

***

_ With a wink, I toss my shirt on the bed and raised my arms midway. “Alright then...where do you want me?” _

 

***

I was coming undone. Maybe it was the flirting which I had no experience with, not to mention was heading in a direction I couldn’t allow it to go in (Oh, I followed him alright.) Or maybe it was the fact that Finn, shirtless, was very easy on the eyes. Who knew he was hiding those abs!?

_ Oh my God, his body is unreal! Jesus, give me strength…!!! _

In that moment, I imagined myself telling him to go ahead and boss me around to his heart’s content. To use me as he so wished. I imagined him pushing me down to my knees so I was kneeling before him and-

_ No! NO! Stop that, Teagan! Don’t you dare think it! _

I very nearly slapped myself across the face then, a lingering remnant of my mother’s idea of discipline (I couldn’t even begin to put a number to the amount of times she slapped me growing up for some transgression or other).

“Erm, just there, please.” I pointed on the edge of the bed.

***

_ I sat where Teagan pointed and, leveling an amused, exaggerated gaze at her, I patted the spot next to me. _

_ The laugh that broke from her was priceless, even as she was red as a ripening strawberry. _

***

Feeling less embarrassed, I took a seat next to Finn, then scooted backwards until I was positioned behind him.

Sitting up on my heels, I tried to work up the courage to act.

_ Okay, do as the video instructed. One...two...three… _

Praying to God this worked, I placed my hands on his shoulders - the warm skin against my palm was a very pleasant sensation - and started to rhythmically and gently massage them as well as his neck.

***

_ Demons who walk in human form have heightened senses, hence why we enjoy everything more. _

_ So the sensation of Teagan kneading and working on my neck and shoulders?  _ **_Fucking incredible_ ** _. It's something that I forget to seek out, as stress is still a thing and tension is a bitch. _

_ I groaned appreciatively as her hands carefully pulled and pushed at tight muscle, relief flowing straight to my head. _

_ “This feels amazing,” I praised. There may or may not have been a tiny growl in my voice at the time. Couldn't help it, honestly. _

***

When I first heard Finn’s groan, I'd paused for the slightest seconds, concerned.  _ “Is that a groan of pleasure, or a ‘For the love of God, please stop, you're hurting me?”  _ He didn't seem to be in pain, but maybe I was wrong…?

And then I heard his compliment and I  _ glowed _ with pride.

Yet another upside to “having no life”. Because I had a lot of free time on my hands, I decided to preoccupy myself by learning new things. As a result, I’d picked up a multitude of skills, neck and shoulder rubs been one of them up - not that I ever told anyone. I could sugarcoat it all I want, but I was still essentially watching YouTube videos and browsing the internet most of my day because of having nothing better to do.

“Glad you like it.” I said simply, my hands travelling up and down, pressing and kneading here and there. Despite Finn’s carefree attitude, he seemed in desperate need of this. Maybe his job was more stressful than he let on?

After another fifteen minutes of massaging his shoulders and neck, I let out an involuntary yawn, starting to get sleepy.

***

_ “You're exhausted,” I observed, hearing Teagan let out a yawn. “You should go and get some sleep, lovely.” _

_ I stretched and rolled my neck and shoulders, feeling considerably better. “Thank you so much. You certainly have a talented set of hands.” _

_ Before she could reply, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Well, to be accurate, more like dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. _

_ Judging by this deeper blush that rose in her face, I'd say it was wildly unexpected. _

 

_ Which was perfect. _

***

“Yes, well, erm, you’re welcome. I’m going to head to bed now. Goodnight!” I squeaked before springing from the bed and rushing out of there to my own room.

Once I’d changed out of my clothes and was lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep, I found myself rubbing the corner of my mouth he’d brushed up against when kissing me. His lips had been so soft.... And the sight of him  _ shirtless _ ...

I groaned. Finn Bálor was going to be the death of me.


	9. Trial and Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A leader divulges his secret plot and sets the wheels in motion.

_ I chuckled after she bolted for her room, I'll freely admit it, a flustered Teagan was actually rather cute. _

_ I stripped to my boxer-briefs - normally I would go without any clothing, but this would be an exception - and crawled under the covers. Knowing that no one would show up left me free to quiet my mind for a few hours. _

_ It was surprising how cozy her home was. How much care she had taken on such limited means to make this space her own. And she could have lost it all tonight. _

_ But she won't. Because nearly every threat to her happiness has been - in a sense - neutralized. And eradicated in a number of horrific, violent ways. It was a good day. _

_ And tomorrow this place will be under new ownership. _

_ She'll never see it coming. _

_ Suddenly, the sound of barely concealed giggles filled the air. The air heatened up as if the room was in a sauna, and then, there in the room was my two good, but childish friends, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows. _

_ I spoke too soon… _

_ “Hey, baby! How’s our favourite Demon King doing?” Anderson grinned. _

_ “What do you think of our handiwork on that Jessica bitch? Did we do good, or did we do GOOD?” Gallows asked, like a child desperate for their parent’s praise. _

_ I grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “You did great, lads.” _

_ The two were about to cheer and celebrate, but I silenced them, remembering Teagan was fast asleep in her room. Couldn’t have her waking up to find these two large idiots in her house.  _

_ “Let’s talk outside. Not here. I don’t want you ruining the lady’s beauty sleep.” _

_ We popped outside on the sidewalk and I, fully clothed now, stood with the goofy twosome as they celebrated at a fairly low volume. _

_ “I'm surprised you two aren't painting the town red per usual,” I mused. _

_ “Oh, trust me, we will once we got our leader, the  _ **_Real Rock 'n' Rolla_ ** _ , on board with us. Whaddya say, brother? All the boys together and hellraising, just like the old times?” _

_ “Hold on now, the King is clearly busy seducing a human of the female persuasion. We don’t want to go cockblocking him.” _

_ Gallows didn’t seem concerned. “Ah, but our boy’s  _ **_always_ ** _ screwing around with a woman. Never stops slaying pussy HOOT.” _

_ “Can’t stop getting laid like it’s his actual job HOOT.” _

_ “Hot, young and Irish and he knows it HOOT.” _

_ “Urgh, would you both shut up already!” A female voice interrupted the pair’s joking around. _

_ It was Alexa with resting bitch face in full effect. “What the hell does Bullet Club even mean? Why is this a thing?” (I had an inkling she was jealous that Anderson and Gallows got to be part of my most trusted circle and not her.) _

_ Bray Wyatt appeared shortly afterwards, and then, strangely enough, William Regal. The old British gentleman politely bowed at me before stepping back so I could address the others.  _

_ “The work you all have done today exceeded all my expectations. Special acknowledgment goes to Alexa for going above and beyond with your assault - it was masterful. For your efforts, you’re all receiving well-deserved bonuses according to each of your individual tastes and talents. In the morning, remember to check your inboxes for instructions on collecting said bonuses. Again, brilliant work today!” _

_ Alexa inspected her silver claws with pride. “Thank you, your Infernal Majesty. Mine was the best, wasn’t it? Unlike  _ **_some_ ** _ here,” she glared at Anderson and Gallows, “my prey is going to suffer for the rest of her miserable life. She’s in the hospital right now as we speak, blind, deaf in one ear, and numb from the neck down, going  _ **_completely_ ** _ insane.” _

_ “Hey, we got ours to diddle little Jesus crucified on the cross! It’s on Youtube!” Anderson protested. He didn’t seem to notice Regal facepalming behind him. _

_ “The internet  _ **_never_ ** _ forgets HOOT.” _

_ The three of them suddenly remembered Bray and turned to him. “How about you, big guy? What’d you do?” _

_ Bray chuckled as he always did. “That’s between Samantha Tunney and I, boys. ...At least until I devoured every last bit of her, mind, body and soul. Unlike yours, she’ll never know the agonies Hell had in store for her, but she’ll also never know the joys of Hell. For her, there is only Oblivion…” _

_ This seemed to displease Alexa. _

_ “How come he gets to eat all of the soul and the rest of us can’t?” She demanded  indignantly. _

_ “Samantha was a special exception,” I firmly explained. “She wasn't deserving of existence in any form so, by my request, she was fully consumed.” I looked around at the others. “Everyone will have the opportunity to know the pleasure of taking a complete soul in future events. Plenty of opportunities ahead, I can assure. Now...any other questions?” _

_ Bray spoke next, not with a question, but with a statement. _

_ “I saw her, you know. The girl. The one you had those voids killed for. I can see why you like her. Her soul shines like a dying firefly.” _

_ Regal raised an eyebrow at me. He already knew. _

_ And then the comments started. _

_ “Hold up, bubba, are you telling me that girl isn’t a fuck n’go? A bed ‘em then leave ‘em?” Anderson demanded. “ _ **_That’s_ ** _ why we haven’t seen you in Hell? Boss, what happened to Bro-skis before Ho-skis?” _

_ “Misters before sisters HOOT.” Gallows joined in. _

_ “Dicks-skis before chick-skis!” _

_ “Balls before-” _

_ “ _ **_Shut up!!_ ** _ ” Alexa shrieked, causing both men to jump away from her. She turned angrily to me. “You mean I went all-out punishing that two-bit void because you care for some girl?? When did this turn into Twilight? You’re the Demon King! Since when did you start caring about ANY of these walking Happy Meals?” _

_ There are rare moments that I feel the need to correct my team. _

_ This is one of those moments. _

_ I reached into both Bray’s and Alexa’s bodies, seizing their souls in hand and setting it aflame as they cried out in agonizing pain. _

_ Every street light on the block was completely eclipsed, leaving the only light coming from our glowing eyes and their suffering. _

_ “Does  _ **_this_ ** _ seem weak to you, ‘Lexi’?” I growled low. She quickly shook her head no. _

_ “Anyone  _ **_else_ ** _ have an opinion they would like to share with the class?” I looked at Gallows and Anderson - they raised their hands in retreat. _

_ “And Bray, you forget your place. You  _ **_all_ ** _ do. Never forget that I can just as easily eradicate you. You know nothing of my intent, so until the day  _ **_I_ ** _ tell you, you will do well to stay out of my business. A single whisper, especially without fact, and I will gladly devour your soul myself as you watch.” _

_ I released them, watching the erroneous pair rear back, Alexa in sheer terror and Bray in awe. _

_ The eclipse lifted, and the street looked normal and serenely lit again. _

_ “Have I made myself clear?” _

_ Alexa bowed her head, properly chastised. “Perfectly. Forgive me, Demon King, it won’t happen again.” _

_ And with that, she was gone ( _ **_Heh, couldn’t leave fast enough_ ** _ ). _

_ Despite the pain I had inflicted on him, Bray giggled. It was a childish sound that would have unsettled any human who heard it. “So that was but a taste of the Demon King’s power? How exciting!  _ **_How terrifying!_ ** _ Truly, I have found myself a kindred spirit in you, Bálor. My soul is singing at the thought of the destruction you and I can reap together. Oh, I can hardly wait!” _

_ Much as Alexa had done, Bray disappeared then, his laughter carrying in the air. _

_ “That dude creeps me the fuck out…” Anderson commented. _

_ “So, now that it’s Club members only - and, of course, Mr. Regal,” Gallows inclined his head politely at the older demon. “Why  _ **_are_ ** _ you going after one of the good souls, Boss? Since the day you became the Demon King until now, you’ve always gone after the voids.” _

_ “Yeah, come on, tells us. We’re your brothers!” _

_ I smiled wryly. Gallows and Anderson were two demons who would have my eternal friendship and trust. They were the rare few who’d never once wavered in their loyalty to me, and was always ready to lend a hand, no matter the cause. There was nothing they wouldn’t do for me, and I them. _

_ That being said, they couldn’t keep a secret for shit. Get them drunk and they would blab their mouths off - especially to that egotistical, sanctimonious arsehole, AJ.  _

_ “Sorry fellas, this is definitely classified information. I have to speak with Mr. Regal alone. Go on, have a good night.” _

_ They both groaned audibly. “Ah, you’re no fun. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got some college kids to tempt down a life of procrastination, broken dreams and daddy issues! Love ya, hoot!” _

_ “Yeah, too sweet, brother!” _

_ Disappointed though they were, I was pleased that they respected my choice. The two acted like dumbasses, but they weren’t at all stupid. They knew not to keep pushing. _

_ Our middle and ring fingers down to the thumb, so the tips met, and our index and pinky fingers remaining up and extended, we exchanged our favourite hand signal to each other before the two disappeared from sight. _

_ “Mr. Regal, kind of you to attend.” It wasn't often that I saw William Regal outside of the firm. Not that it ever meant good or ill either way, but a surprise all the same. _

_ The older man smiled. “Evening, your Majesty. My apologies for the unexpected visit, but I’ve come to ask your permission on a new arrival. Kane and I are having...a disagreement on what’s to be done.” _

_ Not that Kane was particularly easy to get along with in the first place. A rather intimidating presence, stoic and somewhat difficult, but that's to be expected when one is among the few remnants of what came before. Regal was another, yet he was much more progressive and took part in the scouting and training of new recruits. _

_ “I'm always happy to be of service, sir. What is it about this new arrival that's causing this disagreement?” _

_ “See for yourself.” _

_ As Regal and I journeyed down to Hell, he told me all about this particular void.  _

_ “Sterling James Keenan - more commonly known by his alias, Corey Graves. A tattooed rogue who started a life of crime at a young age, working his way up from petty theft to armed burglary and  breaking and entering. Met his untimely end when his latest bank robbery went astray and the car he and his accomplices were using as a getaway went swerving into oncoming traffic. Fancies himself ‘The Savior of Misbehavior’. I think he has potential. And I think you will, too, once you’ve seen him.” _

_ “I have every faith in your judgement. You always did have an eye for talent. So where is this future all-star?” _

_ I had no reason to distrust Regal. He was a fantastic asset. Trustworthy, honest (bluntly so), and a loyal supporter and teacher from the beginning. If there was anyone I happily deferred to, it was him. _

_ “You’re too kind, dear boy. I only wish Kane trusted my judgement as much as you do. As for Mr. Graves, he is currently in his torture chamber, officially about to begin his sentence.” _

_ Pushing a door wide open, Regal led me into a small cell where the void that was Corey Graves waited, strapped to a gurney. He was a young man with a shaved head, save for the brown tuft of hair on the top. A punk. - pretty much how I expected him to be. _

_ “Hello, Corey, It’s me again. Thank you for your,” Regal watched in amusement as he thrashed with all his might against his bonds. “Patience. How does it feel having a physical body again? Good? Well, if all goes well now, you’ll be quite pleased to know that you can keep it. No going back to being a non-corporeal soul for you.”  _

_ “What the hell are you talking about? Let me out of these things right now!” Unlike other voids, this one knew no fear for his predicament. _

_ “No.” Kane cut in, dressed in full Big Red Monster getup, and his arms crossed. However, it was to Regal he spoke to, not Corey. “It’s not happening. He just arrived. He doesn’t get to be considered for demonhood until he’s suffered for at least five centuries!” _

_ “Wait, what was that? You’re thinking of turning me into a demon? What’s going to happen when I become one?” Corey asked. _

_ “That depends on you, Corey,” I answered calmly. “Kane is correct in that the path to demonhood is a long one. However Mr. Regal, my colleague here, has told me a lot about your life on earth. He sees a lot of potential in you, and wants to advance you to the top of the list. I'm inclined to agree with him, since he never brings such high commendation in idle fashion.” _

_ His soul was black as midnight in the desert. He wasn't fond of authority, but he didn’t strike me as a fool. _

_ Corey’s blue eyes moved back and forth between us. I could see in his mind that he wanted to accept, but he was still unsure. He wanted to know what he stood to gain. _

**_How typically human. Always wanting, even in the face of unspeakable tortures._ **

_ “If I become a demon...do I get to do what I want? To break all the rules and cause all kinds of trouble?” _

_ I smiled. “I admire your initiative. We do have need of your enthusiasm and talent for mayhem. Yes...I believe we can make that happen for you.” _

_ Kane was irate, however he said nothing. He knew my order was absolute. _

_ Corey grinned, jubilated. “Hell yeah, I want to become a demon! Let’s get this show on the road!” _

_ “Excellent choice, Corey. You won’t regret this decision.” Regal clapped his hands, looking incredibly pleased with himself. “Now that that little matter is out the way, I believe introductions are in order. That angry looking fellow over there is Kane. He, like myself, is a veteran, one of the few remaining who existed before the Fall - the war in Heaven and banishment to Hell, in case you didn’t know. He’s also the chief torturer. Every punishment here had been concocted and made into a reality by his twisted mind.”  _

_ “Yeah, hey. With an ugly mug like yours, I can see why they chucked you out.” Graves sneered. Clearly, he was under the impression that, because he’d been scouted and handpicked to become a demon early, he wasn’t going to have to deal with Kane anymore. That he was higher on the totem pole than Kane. _

_ Oh, how wrong he was. I couldn’t wait to see his expression when he realised what was really  about to happen. _

_ “As for me, I’m William Regal, the general manager of Hell. I am the one the groundlings and demons go to for advice, lessons, or orders. And I am the one who reports any news from the higher ups, and by that I mean the ruler of Hell, the Demon King, Bálor.” Regal put his hand on my shoulder. “This fine, young gentlemen here.” _

_ “Wait, you run this place?  _ **_You?_ ** _ ” Corey stared at me, amazed. He then looked to Regal. “Are you fucking with me? He looks like he’d be sold for cigarettes in the joint!” _

_ “Shut your mouth and show some respect!” Kane really didn’t care much for this one. _

_ I wasn’t offended at all. In fact, I laughed. I laughed aloud. “I like you, Corey! Such candor, such fire. You’re going to go far with that. In time, you'll also discover that, if you're not careful…” _

_ I shoved my hand through Corey’s stomach and took a hold of his soul, sending electric pulses throughout. He shook on the gurney, looking every bit the prisoner on death row. When I let go after a while, the smile was still on my face, though much darker than before. _

_ “... _ **_you_ ** _ will end up the prison bitch. So be very,  _ **_very_ ** _ careful about how you address your superiors. Got that?” _

_ Corey didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. I knew he got the message loud and clear. _

_ After the wound on his stomach had healed up and he’d gotten over the shock enough to come to his senses and think coherently, he spluttered and then proceeded to spit out a stream of obscenities. _

_ Not at me, of course. He had more sense than that. _

_ “Okay, okay, you’re the bossman around here, I get it. I’ll do whatever you say, I’ll even kiss your ass if that’s what you want. Just don’t do that again!! Jesus fucking Christ!!” Corey gasped; sweat now dripping down his forehead. _

_ He pulled against the chains again. “So, you guys going to release me or what? Come on, I’m ready, I’m willing, transform me into a demon already!” _

_ Regal and I smiled at each other while Kane grinned a terrifying grin. _

_ Corey looked between the three of us, picking up that we were in on something that he wasn’t. “What? What’s so funny?” _

**_And now to burst Corey Graves’ bubble._ **

_ “I’m afraid there’s been some misunderstanding, Mr. Graves. Your punishment is far from over. The transformation of a human soul into a demon is not instantaneous. It’s a long, arduous process that takes centuries of torture or torment,” Regal explained in an almost fatherly tone. _

_ “...What?” Corey deadpanned, face whitening. _

 

**_Wait for it..._ **

_ Regal delivered the final blow. “Now that we’ve reached a decision to change you into a demon as soon as possible, we’re going to aggressively intensify your punishments, both in severity and frequency. With any luck, Corey, you’ll have joined our ranks in a century or less, rather than the standard dozen or so.” _

**_Ahhhh. Never gets old._ **

_ Corey looked as if he was about to be faint. Unfortunately for him, unconsciousness, like breathing, was a bodily function Hell had not bequeathed to the corporeal body created for him. “No. No, no, no! Yo-You can’t do that!” _

_ Ignoring him, Regal turned to Kane. “I leave Mr. Graves in your capable hands. Have fun.”   _

_ “Oh, trust me.  _ **_I plan to._ ** _ ” A pair of forceps in one hand, and a needle in the other, Kane started to approach Corey’s bound form, laughing. It only would increase in volume as the void started to panic. _

_ “Ironic, isn’t it?” The English gentlemen joked to me as we left the cell. “He spent his life having needle after needle paint those tattoos on his body, but put one near his mouth and he loses his mind.” _

_ The pained screams of one Corey Graves echoed behind us... _

_ “As usual, you were right. I look forward to seeing him in our ranks. Reminds me of someone else you recruited long ago,” I mused. _

_ “Who are you referring to, dear boy? I’ve recruited many people in Hell and on Earth.” _

_ “I'm thinking of a certain blonde fireball of a field demon. About five feet tall, hates your guts…” _

_ Regal shuddered. “That one scares me, I cannot lie. Not even I knew the potential for such malice lay within her. I both dread and anticipate the day she no longer has a constant hunger for souls and is ruled by her emotions.” _

_ Silence. We were now back on Earth, standing outside Teagan’s home. _

_ “There’s another demon that worries me, my King, but not in the good way, I’m afraid. And I think you know who I’m referring to.” _

_ I knew well. “Bray is still very driven by his primal desire to consume. I have tried to channel that drive, that hunger, into where he might thrive and ultimately be sated. But his appetite is not so easily quenched, and at this rate it will only get worse.” _

_ Regal nodded. “I don’t know what Abigail was thinking when she corrupted and turned him. I wish I had known, I might have been able to stop it.” _

_ A brief pause, then, “...Bálor. What I’m about to say now, I say not out of obligation, but because I’ve grown very fond of you. You’re the best Demon King Hell has ever had, and I’d very much like things to stay as they are.” He turned to me and looked me in the eyes. “Watch out for that one. He is dangerous. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Kane and I have already had to have a few words with him.” _

_ And then… “The Undertaker is concerned about him, too. Says he risks upsetting the natural order. Now, completely devouring voids is one thing, but upsetting the delicate balance is another thing entirely. If it carries on...well, we might have another war on our hands. There have been whispers, Bálor.” _

_ He was right. And if Undertaker has expressed concern over something, then there truly was a problem. He has never wasted words, so when he speaks, it's often to be heeded. _

_ “He's got his eye on me. As long as I'm his focus, I can keep him distracted from his...activities. I'll handle Bray. If it comes down to his removal, then it will be my doing.” _

_ That seemed to be enough to placate Regal. He knew me, he knew how seriously I took my role as Demon King. If Bray Wyatt become too much of a threat, I’d terminate him with  _ **_extreme prejudice_ ** _. _

_ “Then I suppose there’s only one thing left to talk about.” Regal’s eyes drifted back to the house; Teagan’s bedroom window to be exact. “Teagan Dunn. The innocent soul you’ve been courting the last few days.” _

_ “Not that I’m questioning you, Demon King, I trust your judgement, but, as you no doubt saw with Alexa, some of the other demons are starting to ask questions. They fear you’re becoming weak and are starting to care about humans. …They remember how you were when you took the crown.” _

_ He suggested the last part delicately. He knew the matter of my family was a  _ **_very_ ** _ sore spot. _

_ “The demons trust me. So they will believe me when I remind them of their places. When I tell them that you do not have to justify yourself and that what you’re doing now with the girl is all part of a plan. However, as your trusted advisor, I think I at least deserve to know. ...So, Bálor? What do you plan to do to Teagan Dunn? Corrupt her and eat her?” _

_ “Well,” I began without hesitation. “You got it right - it  _ **_is_ ** _ part of a plan. Teagan Dunn is, as it happens, is potentially the last of the incorruptible souls that exist in the world. No one has attempted to claim such a soul in ages; it’s damn near impossible to corrupt, so no one even touches them. I’m sure you knew this, of course.” _

 

_ He nodded, a look of wonder on his face as I continues. “But her soul is...when she’s happy, it’s brilliant. She herself is not healthy of spirit, so the soul is not at its greatest potential yet. It’s dimmed from years of abuse and mistreatment. _

_ “So, I am helping her to become the best she can possibly be, fix what others have broken. And then, in full view of Heaven, I will claim her precious soul for the glory of Hell. A sort of middle finger to the feathery bastards above.” _

_ Regal’s face lit up with barely concealed glee. He was all kinds of impressed, as I knew he would be. This was the kind of plan that a demon like him lived for. _

“ _**Marvelous.** _ _ ” He breathed. “You will steal the innocent lamb from its flock and right from under the nose of the shepherd. And, there’s  _ **_nothing_ ** _ that can be done about it because he is not dealing with a wolf, but with a monster who can devour him and the rest if it so pleases. Oh, you’ve made an old villain very happy. You have my utmost respect and admiration. I will be sure to silence any naysayers and dissent at once now that I know this.” _

_ “...Of  course, it has just occurred to me that there is one glaring flaw with your splendid plan…” _

_ “And that is…?” Regal can often see what I've missed, so I awaited his assessment. _

_ “First, tell me this: Do you plan to take her alive or will you be dealing with just her soul? As the Demon King, you are one of the few among our kind who can extract the soul - good and bad - from its body, as well as handle it.”  _

_ “Ah yes.” I contemplated for a second before answering. “ _ **_Just_ ** _ her soul. I have little use for her body. The soul itself is the trophy I seek.” _

_ Regal nodded. It seemed he was expecting this. “Then leaving her soul on Earth is out of the question. Angels can be just as sneaky as us demons. One would definitely try and steal her back. So, that leaves only one destination for Miss Dunn: Hell. Now, I don’t need to tell you that Hell is not a fit place for an innocent soul, do I? It was made for us demons to rule, and for voids to be tortured in for their sins and then, if they’ve proven themselves, to join our ranks. You take the girl’s soul into that kind of environment...well, the pain and despair she’d experience compared to the sinners would be nothing short of unbearable, I imagine. And that’s not even taking into account the number of demons and Groundlings that would take one look at her soul and try to devour or harm it. Your precious trophy just wouldn’t last, Demon King.” _

_ “Not unless I keep it with me, which I have already considered. Safe from the terrors of Hell. Do you believe I would claim such a prize and  _ **_not_ ** _ have a way to preserve it? I might be prone to impulse, but never without a means or a plan. Regal, you know me, and have known me from the moment I took control. If I didn't believe this were possible, I would never attempt it. You know that.” _

_ That got his interest. This was probably the first Regal had heard of such a method. “Ah, but even if that truly is possible, would it be sustainable? You can keep your trophy on you at all times, but sooner or later you’re going to have to take your eyes off of it and some nasty, little thief is going to come and snatch it.” _

_ At that, I gave a sly smirk. “I never said anything about keeping it  _ **_on_ ** _ me, old boy.” _

_ The demon who referred to himself as a ’gentleman villain’ leaned in closer to me, all smiles. This had to be the most excited I’d seen him a while. “Alright, spit it out, the suspense is bloody killing me.  _ **_Where will you keep Teagan Dunn’s soul??_ ** _ ” _

_ I placed a hand upon the very center of my chest, and held his gaze.“In a cage of my own design.” My fingers tapped at my ribs. “With bars and walls...and a constant guard. Anyone who would try to claim her soul will have to kill me first.” _

_ And with that, the plan was officially given the seal of approval. I knew it by the look on Regal’s face. He’d heard all he needed to hear, he was convinced. _

_ “Your plan is flawless. Absolutely flawless. I am truly honored I was the one you chose to confide it to.” He gave a bow to me. “Let’s just hope those feathered buggers don’t try and ruin your grand plan. I very much doubt it, though.” He leaned in close to me. “Triple H and I go back as you know, and I have it on good authority that Heaven, loathe as they will be to do it, won’t stand in your way. They’d rather lose Teagan Dunn’s soul to Hell than start another war to save it. ‘What’s best for business’, as they say.” _

_ “Of course. That's not to say some of their kind haven’t already tried. But they're no obstacle. I will see this through.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you. For your unwavering loyalty. I know it must not always be easy to maintain in times like these.” _

_ Regal gave me a gentle smile in return. “Think nothing of it. I meant what I said about you being the best Demon King we’ve had. I’ve served you in your previous vessels - violent, bloodthirsty, bloody out of their minds - and none of them were anywhere close to your level. I suppose that’s why they never lasted long.” _

_ He looked back up at the house. “The poor girl has no idea what’s in store for her, does she? Then again, she should be grateful you’re bestowing her such a fate. It could be so much worse. You could just wipe her from the face of existence, or leave her at the mercy of Hell. Really, it’s not such a bad fate. At least she’d never know loneliness and would always be safe. That’s a luxury few of us - humans, demons and angels alike - are afforded.” _

_ And then, with a roguish grin. “Heaven could have got her instead. Now that would have been awful. Can you imagine anything more  _ **_boring_ ** _?” _

_ I chuckled. “Absolute snooze-fest.” I look back at the quiet home, undisturbed and dark. _

_ “Time for me to return to my post. See you ‘round the firm, Regal.” _

_ With a respectful nod, he disappeared. _

_ It was assuring to know that I had his loyalty, and his faith. Demons are not unlike humans - they gossip, they switch allegiances, they back-stab. It's part of the reason why we had to evolve, to find a new way. The cycle of destruction among our kind would have continued if not for the efforts of figures like Regal. So knowing that he believed in me only served to drive me further. _

_ My plan is set, my intent is sure. _

_ One step closer. _


	10. Cerebral Edging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing wrong with a little dream-walking...

I really shouldn’t have to gone to bed feeling the way I did. Falling asleep thinking of Finn’s body and him kissing me was just asking for trouble.

Unlike others, my dreams weren't the elaborate or nonsensical affairs it was for most people. No; the majority of the time, they were my sick, twisted fantasies played out. My body’s unresolved sexual tension scratching that itch the only way it could. Or they were flashbacks of painful, bitter memories, a reminder that no matter how much I tried to repress, they would always be with me.

Tonight, I was dealing with the former.

This is how the dream went: I was kidnapped by a creepy cult. They stripped me naked and then locked me in a cell with other young women. We were all virgins and one of us was going to have the honor ( _Hah_!) of being chosen to be a sacrifice for a demon.

Guess who got picked?

So, that’s where I was up to now. Lying on a table, my hands and feet bound, a gag in my mouth, waiting for the demon to appear and devour me. In the background, the cult members were speaking in tongues and doing the summoning spells. I don’t know how long they’ve been going on for or how I even got here - time has lost all concept.

I close my eyes.  _Why me?_

***

_So...lovely, innocent Teagan is awaiting a demon to devour her?_

_Don't mind if I partake then._

_I sat upon an empty space next to her as a finger swirled lightly against her temple. Teagan is due for a visit…_

_Game on._

***

_Something’s happening!_

Opening my eyes, I strained my next back to look at the cult members. They’re no longer praying and speaking that weird language (could it even be called that?) Rather, they’re deathly silent and on their feet, slowly backing away and out of the room.

**_Oh shit._**  I think.  _Does this mean they’ve succeeded in summoning the demon?_

Heart thumping in my chest, I struggled to at least undo the rope binding my wrists. Once that goes, I stand a chance with my ankles…

_Come on, come on… A-ha! Not today, Satan!_

Triumphant, I tossed the rope to the ground, then got started on my ankles. To my dismay, it’s a lot harder than my wrists were.

***

_Cute. She’s trying to run._

_This will be delicious. Haven't played in a cult sacrifice setting in ages. That one...didn’t go nearly as well as this one will._

_Let’s start with the candles on the walls. A swift wind will snuff them out._

_Nice. Bit of a spooky atmosphere. Now for that torch conveniently placed at the head of the sacrificial bed._

***

_God, I hope this is all some fucked up prank. Please let this not be real…!!_

It had seemed to be looking up. I had the rope around my wrist free, I just had to deal with the rest, then I’d run out of the place like the heroine of some horror film or game. Easy!

But then my only source of light had gone out. First the candles that littered the room, then the torch that stood by the table I lay on.  **Poof!**  Out, just like that. I was now bound in the dark, possibly trapped with a demon that may or may not want to eat me.

***

_She nearly jumped out of her skin when the flame blew out! Oh, this is fun. Now she’s trying to undo the bonds around her ankles even faster. I’ll make this even easier._

_I thought letting the ropes fall apart would be a nice touch. Time for my entrance._

***

I stared blankly as the rope around my ankles came undone and just fell to the ground. I should have been happy -  _free at last!_  - but I wasn’t.

I was terrified.

It was as I feared. I was not alone.

Reaching out, I grabbed the torch and armed myself with it. If something - be it demon or man - was going to attack me, then I wasn’t going down without a fight. Teagan Dunn’s soul was not for the taking!

***

_It took everything I had not to chuckle at her choice of weapon. Fortunately I didn’t have to hold it back. I let it out, dark and low._

_She turned to follow the sound, find the source in pure darkness._

***

My terror had reached such a level that I couldn’t keep my breathing under control anymore. I was hyperventilating like crazy.

The whole time, I stood there and tried to think of what the best course of action would be. Should I stay put? Or should I run blindly to the door and try and open it? Truth be told, neither seemed like much of a plan or held a chance of much success.

I was utterly trapped in here.

***

_It’s a pity, really. Had I left the candles burning, she would have seen me creeping behind her. If she wasn’t shivering in terror, she would have sensed the presence looming._

_My fingertips drifted along the bare skin of her neck, and she gasped._

***

A scream fought to break past my lips when I felt fingertips graze against the back of my neck. Instead, a weak gasp was the only thing that came out (all thanks to my hyperventilating. Turns out you can’t do both.)  

I shook, rooted to the spot.

Did I turn around and confront the demon? No, that’d be suicide.

Did I stay as I was and hope for some miracle that would save me? No, that’d be suicide  _and_  stupid.

Did I run?

 ...Do I have much choice?

I chose the third option, running blindly into the darkness.

***

_She ran, trying to find a door._

_What she found, however, was_ **_me_ ** _._

_She couldn’t see me, but she could feel the impact as she crashed into me before tumbling back onto her arse._

_It made me happy to have the ability to see perfectly clear, even in absolute darkness._

_“Going somewhere?”_

***

_I am fucked. I am so, so fucked._  I thought over and over in my head as it became abundantly clear that no matter how much I run and tried to evade the demon, it was going to find me and catch me.

Slowly, I started to back away, not daring to look away (not that it matters. My eyes had yet to adjust to the darkness. I was still practically blind in here.)

“Wh-Who’s there?” I called out, trying to sound confident, but only managing to sound scared. “Man or demon?”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

***

_“Curious, child?” I intoned in a low voice. “If I am demon, why should my name matter if you are meant to be my sacrifice?”_

***

_Fuck. Definitely a demon._

I gulped, then answered. “Because names are important. They make something more...I don’t know, real? It’s not just a thing or an ‘It’ anymore.”

I was babbling, not making any sense. I needed to salvage this.

“My name’s Teagan Dunn. I’m not a ‘sacrifice’, something that you can just eat or kill. I’m a person and I don’t deserve this!” I said, half scared, half defiant.

“And, if death is my fate, then I think I have the right to know the demon who’ll be taking my life, don’t you?”

***

_“My intent for you is not death, child. At least...not in the way you think.”_

_I grazed a finger across her cheekbone, tracing a downward path that led around the curve of her lips. She could have run. She should have run. I could feel her trembling._

_But she didn’t. She was entranced. Terrified, but entranced._

_“My name, as you asked,” I whispered as I re-lit every candle with the snap of my fingers, “is Bálor.”_

***

I looked around me - wide-eyed with fear - as the light returned to the chamber. Well, at least I’m not practically blind anymore.

Of course, it also meant that I was able to see the demon.

There was a handsome visage there - very handsome. Striking blue eyes that I felt like losing myself in.  _Is he really a demon? He looks so much like a man._  I half wondered. And then his eyes glowed a blood red and he smiled at me, flashing sharp teeth and I knew I definitely wasn’t dealing with a man here.

I took a step back. “So...you’re not going to kill me?”

I felt a sliver of hope. He’d just admitted it, hadn’t he? Of course, he’d also added,  _“Not in the way you think”_ , which brought up more questions than answers…

And then I remembered my nudity and I tried to cover up as much as I could, blushing.

***

_“No need for modesty on my account,” I said, amused as I stepped closer to examine this lovely bauble._

_She had nothing at all to be ashamed of. Every curve and line of her was pleasing, and it was high time she knew it._

_Unseen, my tendrils slithered forward to touch and explore. First order of business: set Teagan’s arms at her sides. No need for modesty here._

***

I felt my eyes widen as an unseen force pulled my arms away from my breasts and legs, and pinned them to my sides.

“Wh-What are you doing!?” I demanded.

***

_“Learning you, child.” I walk around her as she attempts a defiant stance, and fails. “Learning every line, every curve, every mark upon your skin, every place I’d love to mark your skin...”_

_I paused behind her again, close enough for my breath to graze her neck. “Tell me...are you afraid?”_

***

I nodded. Of course I was! There was no point in lying, he'd see right through me.

“Yes. I'm terrified.” I say, still all the while trying to free my arms from their sides. I find that I can’t, it’s as if they were glued in place.

I turned around quickly. The only thing worse than a demon before me was one I couldn’t see.

“You don't have to do this, you know.” My voice wavered. “Eat me. Hurt me. Kill me. Any of it. You...you could just let me go?” It was a useless, inane thing to suggest, but I figured it was worth a shot.

***

_I laughed. “You still think I’m going to harm you?”_

_I lifted a hand to her cheek, placing a thumb against her trembling lips. “I have no intention of killing you, lovely bauble. Or hurting you...” - I added with a sly chuckle - “in ways you wouldn’t enjoy.”_

_My hand drifted along her neck, resting at her collarbone. “And eating you?”_

_I leaned in close, breathing in deep along her neck. Notes of fear and - surprise - arousal filled my senses. “That’s very possible...just not in the way you seem to fear. No tearing asunder, no destruction. But if I have my way, make no mistake...”_

_I took a quick nip at her earlobe, then grazed the very tip of my tongue to soothe the bite. “I_ **_will_ ** _devour you,” I finished in a low growl. “And you will enjoy every minute of it.”_

***

A shudder rippled through me, though whether it was one of revulsion, fear, or lust I couldn’t decide. Maybe it was a combination of all three? Regardless, there was one fact I knew:

I  _wanted_  him. This demon, terrified as I was of him...It?...no,  _him_ , was setting off a new feeling altogether in me, one I wasn’t sure how to deal with. When I looked at his face, I swooned. When I looked at his body, I wanted to touch him, to explore him.

But I couldn’t. Because this was a demon I was dealing with, a creature of Hell. Didn’t the Bible warn that the Devil came with sweet words and a pleasing face? Demons were no different. They didn’t take, they seduced and tempted the human down the path to Hell. He couldn’t be trusted.

“I think you’re lying.” I took a step back. “I think you’re just telling me what I want to hear, and when you’ve gotten what you wanted, then you’ll turn against me. Those cult members seemed pretty certain how this was going to go down. You expect me to believe you’re going to spare me?”  

***

_“Teagan, Teagan,” I cooed. “That cult? Barely knows their arses from holes in the ground. They don’t know my will or desire any more than you do. I know what I want. If it were your death, we would not be continuing this pleasant little talk of ours.”_

_A step forward. “If it was to harm you, I would not hesitate.”_

_Another step. “But what I want, seeing you so prettily unwrapped for me…”_

_I brushed a lock of her hair away from her face, guiding it behind her ear before taking a fistful of her locks and (carefully but firmly) tugging her head back so her eyes met mine._

_Her shock and desire mingled with such wonderful potency. I finished my thought in a tone that brooked no argument: “...is to see you on your knees.”_

***

Upon hearing this, my knees start to tremble, grow weak. Is this fear or desire? The more this goes on, the less I can tell.

“Okay, Mr. Bálor.” Is the only answer I can manage. I’d nod my head as well, but his fist, still wound in my hair, prevents that. Not that I need to, he knows I’ll do as he says.

In my head, I tell myself that I’ll follow his orders because, as he does not intend to kill me, there’s a chance I’ll come out in one piece if I satisfy his wishes. That God would forgive me for choosing to comply and live, then stick to my guns and die. I do not want to martyr myself, I want to live.

But...deep down...I know that’s not true. I’ll do everything Bálor says because I  _like_  it.

“Co-Could you release my arms?” I then asked. Standing here, arms at the side is making things a tad awkward. I also look as if I’m on the verge of riverdancing. The image, and at a time like this, is so bizarre and random I almost break into hysterical laughter.

Anxiety makes people laugh and smile at the most inappropriate of times, doesn’t it?

***

_She truly is a bundle of nerves, isn’t she? I could see her thoughts. The riverdancing nearly made me smile._

_I withdrew my binding on her arms, slipped my hand from her hair. But I never break eye contact. “If you run, I will only bring you back here. But...I don’t think you will. Will you, child?”_

***

Silently, I shook my head. “No, Sir.”

And then, slowly, my knees quite literally having turned to jelly, I sunk to my knees until I was kneeling before him.

I looked up at him, waiting.

And then I sweetly smiled. God forgive me, I’m being tempted and I’m losing. Why did the demon have to have the face of an angel?

***  

_Sir. I quite liked that._

_I mean, Master is more my speed. But Sir sounded so...eager, so willing coming from Teagan’s mouth._

_And she did look exquisite on her knees. Peering up at me with that smile, waiting for direction._

_“Good girl,” I praised, running fingers through her soft hair. Somehow, she still looks so innocent there._

_For now._

_“You look as though…you have something in mind, child. What do you desire?”_

***

I bit my lip and cast my eyes downwards. It was truly shameful how quickly I’d gone from afraid and refusing to submit to the demon, to...well this. For all that time I’d spent in Sunday school as a child, church as an adult, and reading the bible in between, when it really came down to it, I was as far from the pure, good, little Christian girl as one could possibly get.

“Well… What I desire doesn’t really matter, Mr. Bálor. It’s what  _you_  want.”

I placed my hands on his hips and said. “Order me to do whatever you want, Sir, I’ll do it. Use me, dominate me. Treat me like I exist only for your pleasure.”

 ***

_Oh, I like this one. Submissive and bold. A winning combination._

_It took every impulse not to toss her to the bed and ravage her then. Maybe later._

_“You know your place well, child.” I look upon her as I guide her hand close to the zipper. “Undo this first.”_

_As she moves to pull the zipper down, I stopped her hand. Sunrise was coming soon._

_Looming over her, I teased, “Not yet. Time for you to go soon.”_

***

I blinked up at him, with confused eyes that were slightly glazed over with my lust. “What? I...I don’t understand…”

My gaze returned back to his zipper. “Can I…? Please?”

When he just smiled at me, saying nothing, I grew worried. Was this all some sort of a game? Or trick?

“Sir? Mr. Bálor?” I tried again, hoping that might sway him. “...Ma...Master?”

Nothing.

My arms fell to my sides and I looked off into the distance behind him. I felt as if I had been played. Wickedly seduced and then, when I was ready to give myself, all of myself, to him, he refused me. He’d proven that I was not as virtuous as I’d appeared. He’d won.

“I…” I let out a shuddering breath. I cared less that my dignity and reputation in the eyes of the Lord was in tatters and more that I didn’t get to experience all the pleasure the demon had promised.  

“I guess you’re going to eat me now, huh?” I said simply, defeated.

***

_“Don’t worry, child. You’ve done nothing wrong,” I soothed as I brought her to her feet. “I will come to you again. And we will continue this. For now, however...”_

_I bring my lips to hover just an inch from hers. It’s what she wants, I know it is. But right now, it’s not what I have in mind._

_“...it’s time to wake up.” Before she can react, I unsheathed a full set of sharp teeth and bite into the flesh of her neck._

***

I sat up in bed, now wide awake. Like tripping and falling in a dream, the demon - who looked  _exactly_ like Finn. God, my mind’s messed up. - biting into my neck had shocked my body awake.

I fell back down and covered my face with my hands.

Why did it have to end like that? Why couldn’t it have gone on a little longer?

Normally, my dreams tended to get quite explicit in its content, but this one had been different. It felt so vivid, so real. Which made it all the more annoying it had stopped right at the best part.

...Well, getting devoured by a demon wasn’t exactly great ( _was it wrong I’d still liked it? The friendliness coupled with such a primal need. Oh my!_ ), but the rest before that? Amazing.

Right then I hated it.

It was wrong that I enjoyed it. It was wrong that I even had such dreams or felt such urges. My mother had made that quite clear, as had the priest I’d gone to see. And Caleb. And the doctor I confided in. And my mother’s group of middle-class, middle-aged friends who tsked and gossiped when the subject of 50 Shades of Grey and BDSM came up.

I worked hard to repress these urges, but...it was hard. So, so hard. Mentally and physically.

My body filled with a need it couldn’t fulfill, my right hand inched under the covers and down towards the waistband of my pajama pants-

I ripped it away before I could do anything and clenched it up into a fist.  _No! You can’t!_

Grabbing the pillow lying next to me, I rolled over and held it against my chest so my hands would be occupied. I willed myself to fall back to sleep, to ignore how my body was screaming out to be satisfied with some pleasure, whether it be by self or with another.

I clenched my eyes shut harder.  ** _Goddammit_**.

***

_I watched from the shadows, in amusement and pleasure. That was more fun than it had any rightful business being._

_Originally, my plan was to entice her, surprise her with an orgasm or two in her sleep. Even go as far as to leave a bruise on her body from the dream, just to mess with her perception._

_But pushing her to the edge of her desires by leaving her consistently unsatisfied? I should be pissed at myself for not considering it first; however, it was a pleasant discovery nonetheless._

_I like to think of it as cerebral edging - just short of a mind-fuck, and twice as frustrating for the receiver._

_Teagan, my dear...you’re in for a hell of a ride._

_See you in the morning._


	11. A Dish Best Served Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demons do love to see their handiwork...

Come the morning, I was feeling refreshed if not a tad annoyed. The almost-sex dream ( _ how was that even a thing!? _ ) had disrupted my sleep in more ways than one, and I hoped that would be the only one I ever had to experience. It was bad enough I had these dreams to begin with; I didn’t want them to start regularly waking me up at night with unresolved sexual tension. That would be nothing short of torture!

Making my way downstairs, I wondered if Finn was up and, if not, whether I should get started on the eggs or wait until he was awake.

I chose the latter. Breakfast wouldn’t be much of a collaboration if I started without him.

Turning the kettle on to make myself some tea, I pottered about the kitchen, taking out the pans and other items we’d be needing. Then, after pouring myself some tea - I’d leave one out for Finn, but I had no idea how he liked his - I picked up the morning paper from my doorstep to read.

The second I skimmed through it I cried out, “ _ Oh my God! _ ” and my mug dropped from my hand and fell to pieces on the floor.

***

_ Before I could toss on my t-shirt, I heard Teagan panic, and something went crashing to the ground. There didn’t seem to be any threats, but I wasn’t taking chances. _

_ I race to the living room to find her staring aghast at the morning paper, a shattered mug with what had to be tea on the floor near her feet. _

_ “What’s happened? You alright?” _

***

I looked up at Finn, my face still a picture of shock, before looking back down at the paper. There was a part of me that wondered if this was a joke, but I knew it couldn’t be. It was all very real.

“You won’t believe what’s in the newspaper.” I finally said to Finn, rushing to his side to show him. “Look! Jessica was arrested yesterday for intent to distribute drugs and….a bizarre sex video where she pleasured herself with a cross? ... _ What the fuck? _ ”

“And that’s not all!” I started to flip through the paper, pointing out more to Finn. Laura was found beaten half to death in an underpass by a couple walking by. It’s the worst case of G.B.H the town has ever seen. Samantha’s been reported as missing - they think a cult might be involved. And…” I expected Dawn’s name to pop up seeing as misfortune had befallen her three friends, but there was nothing. “Oh, the mayor, Bruce Price’ son has finally been found. His body was found lodged in the compactor of a garbage truck -  _ Jesus Christ _ . Police are speculating that he was attacked or had a bad reaction to some drugs and had been lying, injured, in one of the nearby dumpsters for three days straight. He was last seen on Halloween, attending a party of a friend’s round 9pm, leaving at 9.30… Oh.  _ Oh! _ ”

I looked at Finn, my face a mixture of fear and horror. “I was there! Not at the party, I mean I was right near the spot where those dumpsters are, round that exact time. I could have sworn I heard a cry for help that night, but I thought I was imagining it…”

***

_ I took the paper from her hands and hurried her to the couch, away from the broken glass. Even though they were terrible people, it wasn’t impossible that she would react to seeing three of the four names she knew (and the fourth she heard screaming) splattered across the headlines. _

_ Teagan was first priority. _

_ I let her sit for a moment to process things, then promised I would return with a fresh cup of tea to help her calm down. _

_ As I cleaned up the mess and prepared a second cup, it allowed me to bask in the glorious work that was done. I had no sympathy for their fates, but instead felt a sense of accomplishment.  _

_ They got what they deserved. _

_ Teagan, however, may have felt differently. And since the goal was to help her reach her potential, her ability to cope with the unexpected would be a vital point to focus on. _

_ I set the cup of tea on the coffee table in front, then sat carefully next to her. She was visibly shaken, but not entirely panicked.  _

_ “Teagan…” I began. “What’s going through your mind?” _

***

Picking up the mug of fresh tea that Finn had kindly made, I took a sip of it before setting it down, letting it rest against my lap. The warmth coming through it was a nice feeling.

After staring off into space for a minute or so, my mind whirring, I answered Finn’s question. “A lot of things.”

“I… On one hand, it’s horrible - well, not Jessica’s, of course. I’m glad that happened. I was going to go to the police about her anyway. But, Laura and Samantha… I saw the photo of Laura and...Jesus. She’ll be living with those injuries for the rest of her life. And Samantha could be dead for all we know. I’m angry at the two of them, but I’d never wish that on them.”

“But…” I looked down at my mug. “There’s also a part of me that is...I don’t know, vindicated? I’m finding it hard to feel sorry for them. I’m standing to lose my house because of what Jessica did. And Laura and Samantha didn’t call or see me ONCE after the roofie incident or to apologise for ruining our date. Why should I care? I mean, I know what happened to me is not comparable to what’s happened to them, but still…”

Really, it was just as Roman had said in church yesterday: “ _ Those girls will one day reap what they sow. _ ” Well, it looked like that day had come a hell of a lot sooner than expected.

I heaved a sigh.  _ No, I shouldn’t think that way, it’s wrong. You know what you have to do, Teagan… _

“I’m still angry at them, and I’m definitely done being friends with any of them, but...the Bible says to forgive and forget, and I know from experience that holding onto anger only hurts you in the long run, so...I forgive them.” I nodded my head. “I hope Samantha is found, safe and sound, that Laura gets better, and that Jessica...” I closed my eyes. This one was hard. “I hope she turns her life around.”

It didn't feel particularly satisfying right now, but I knew it was better than holding onto a grudge. And besides, just because I forgave them, didn't mean I had to see or speak to them. As far as I was concerned, that was it.

Well...almost.

“I'm also freaked out. It seems a little suspicious that three days after I was roofied, and on the same day I tell Dawn I'm going to the police about it, this happens. I'm scared this isn't some coincidence, that, maybe, I’m in danger. That...I don't know, this could be Dawn. Or someone else…”

I looked at Finn. I remembered then how, on our first date, I’d entertained the notion that he might work in organised crime. Reading about Jessica and company, I found myself considering it again?

Was Finn part of the Irish mob and put a hit on my former friends for what they did to me?

_...No, no way.  _ I shook my head.  _ Get a grip, Teagan. No way could it be him. _

***

_ “It’s definitely strange, I'll admit,” I agreed. “I can't honestly say I'm sad about what happened to Jessica or Laura, or even Samantha. I find it hard to ever forgive them for what they put you through. But it's still pretty difficult to process. And if Dawn was involved, then why? What would have been going on between them?” _

_ (Even though I knew Dawn wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, it wouldn't have been impossible to consider that she would turn on her friends, vindictive bitch that she was.) _

***

“Even though Dawn was my friend, when she was bad, she could be really bad.” I confessed. “Same goes for Samantha, Jessica, and Laura -  _ especially _ Laura. I was always afraid about upsetting them because of that.”  

***

_ “Still... You're a better person than I, because you forgive them whether or not they deserve it.” I put a comforting hand over hers. “You're gonna be alright, lovely. Anything I can do to help, I will.” _

***

I smiled at him softly when he offered me his support. “No, you’ve done enough for me, Finn.  _ More than enough. _ ” I took another sip of my tea, then put it down. “I’ll be fine. Those girls have nothing to do with me anymore. ...And besides, even if this is Dawn’s doing...I doubt it’ll affect me. ...Not like I’ll be sticking around…”

Not that I was trying to be pessimistic (I prefer calling myself a realist), but I truly didn’t think Finn was going to succeed in securing me a place to live. It was why I didn’t want to get my hopes up. If I did, and it still ended badly, the disappointment would be all the worse.

“The thing with the mayor’s son does creep me out. I can’t help but wonder if the cry I heard that night was his...and how close I came to maybe suffering the same fate…?”

***

_ “If it was him, it's good that you weren't caught up in that at all. That would have been horrible,” I replied. It was unfortunate enough that she had been nearby at all. _

_ Ask me if I regret it, and I'll laugh in your face. _

_ “And you're sticking around, Teagan...even if I have to tie you down,” I playfully added. “How about this: we have breakfast, you go about your day, I go about mine, and we do Legoland afterwards? Like, this afternoon?” _

***

I nodded, trying my best to expel the worries and doubts from my mind. If this was truly my last day in this town and with Finn, I wanted to spend it having as much as a good time with him as I possibly could.

“Sounds like a plan.” I agreed, jumping to my feet. “So, breakfast! Eggs and pancakes, right?” My smile turned impish. “Want to race? See who can finish theirs first?”

It should be a fair fight. Making eggs and pancakes was kind of the same method - you had to mix stuff and whisk it, then fry it the pan until it was ready. Of course, the one downside to this plan was, if it all went ball’s up, that was breakfast ruined.

I then looked Finn up and down. I hadn’t noticed until now, too preoccupied by the shocking news in the paper, but...save for his jeans, he wasn’t wearing anything else. I literally had a faceful of abs right in my face. “Are you, er, are you sure it’s okay to cook like that? Want me to get you a t-shirt or something?” I suggested. If I didn’t cover up this man’s hot body now, it’d prove too much of a distraction.

***

_ I nearly forgot I hadn't worn a shirt. Of course, it was nice to know I had an advantage in her challenge. _

_ “Wouldn't be the first time I've cooked without a shirt,” I shot back. “'Course, if it makes you feel any better, I can always toss on an apron.” _

***

“Oh what, you mean  _ this _ ?” 

I opened the drawer and took out the only apron I had, the words  **‘May I suggest the sausage?’** printed on it with a finger pointing downwards. “How about no? And, for the record, I did NOT buy this. That was all Dawn. She got it for her boyfriend at the time.”

“I know I suggested we race each other, but I’m regretting it now.” I groaned.

***

_ “Why's that?” I asked as I snatched the apron from her hands while distracted. “Afraid you'll be thinking of  _ **_my_ ** _ sausage the whole time?” _

_ I winked as I slipped it on. _

***

“N-No, do-don’t!” I protested weakly. Why did I have to go and bring up the fact that he was shirtless? If I’d just kept my big mouth shut, he wouldn’t be wearing that godawful thing and-

And then I took one look at him and lost my mind. I couldn’t help it, the apron itself was ridiculous, but Finn was posing in it, with the goofiest look on his handsome face. How could anyone keep a straight face!?

“So-Sorry!” I spluttered out while trying to halt the laughter. “Oh God, I-I don’t think I’m going to be able to cook!”

Eventually, I managed to get a hold of myself, but only after having to turn my back on Finn and get the image of my head. Once I had, I decided, if I wanted to win, I was going to literally have to whisk and cook the eggs without looking at him once.

I made sure to tell Finn as much. “I’m not looking at you, Finn!” I said, grabbing my equipment while keeping my eyes firmly on the floor. “You’re being unsportsmanlike!”

_ God, why can’t things ever be simple for you? _ My mind scolded.

***

_ “Unsportsmanlike?  _ **_Me_ ** _?!” I replied, pretending to be scandalized. “I have no idea what you're playing at, miss, but I'll have you know I deeply resent that remark.” _

_ I laughed as I found the pancake mix, grabbed milk and eggs, took a bowl and whisk, and got to work. _

_ “And it's okay, you don't  _ **_have_ ** _ to look at me,” I joked before adding in a funnily conspiring tone, “But I'm already in your head, aren't I? So technically, you're seeing me anyway!” _

_ I mixed and stirred as the skillet warmed over medium heat. _

***

“You’re literally wearing the most ridiculous thing known to man!” I protested, busy beating my eggs. “And shut up! Cook your stupid pancakes!” I spluttered soon after he made his joke. 

I threw in some salt and pepper to season them, then resumed. Very soon, they’d be ready for cooking. Now, I had no idea how long pancakes took, but I was fairly confident I’d be able to get my scrambled eggs ready before Finn finished. Eggs cooked ridiculously fast. I once found a Youtube video which stated one could be cooked in  _ three _ seconds!

Ducking under Finn, I grabbed the butter and cut a chunk to put onto the hot pan.

_ Focus, now. Focus. Do  _ **_NOT_ ** _ look at him. This is the most important part. You mess this up and it’s all over. _

I pushed the butter around the pan, waiting for it to sizzle up, before chucking the whisked eggs out of the bowl and into the frying pan. Now to turn the heat down and slowly stir with my spatula until soft and slightly runny.

_ Oh yeah, I have this in the bag. _

I glanced Finn’s way to see how he was doing. He had started pouring his batter mix into the skillet, the picture of perfect ease. If he was worried he was going to lose the race, he wasn’t showing it.

My eyes drifted to his face and, for a second, I imagined those beautiful blue eyes turning red and that toothy smile full of fangs, just like the demon Finn from my dream. And with them came the memories of his growling voice, and how he’d soothed me right before he sunk his teeth into my neck...

I shuddered ever so slightly. Finn wasn’t wrong when he said he’d gotten into my head. He had, but not the way he was thinking about. I could only hope he never found out, I didn’t want to lose his friendship, especially if there was a chance I was leaving today.

***

_ Cooking has long been a favorite of mine. Mornings in the kitchen with my mom as a child… _

_ Rarely do I ever visit those memories. But the fun Teagan and I were having reminded me of those days. Rain or shine, we always made it something to smile about. She taught me the secret to fluffy pancakes, among other culinary secrets. _

_ The smiles, the warmth...I missed that. Until now. _

_ I spoon a couple of rounds of the pancake batter into the ready skillet and, with my spatula at the ready, watched the bubbles rise and pop as the edges began to dry. It took a minute before I could move them a bit to ensure they didn't stick. _

_ Let's see if I can still… _

_ Once I knew they were perfectly cooked on one side, I loosened them from the surface, lifted the skillet and, with a little force, I tossed both pancakes into the air, flipping them right onto the uncooked side. _

**_Still got it,_ ** _ I mused to myself. _

_ I looked at Teagan as she cooked her eggs, and shot her a wink. _

***

Staring at Finn cooking his pancakes was a big mistake.

Remembering my dream whilst cooking was a bigger mistake.

And forgetting my pan on a medium heat while too busy doing the above was the biggest mistake of them all.

As Finn turned to me and winked goodnaturedly, I snapped out of my daze with a start.

_ Oh damn, gotta get back to the eggs. The should be done about no-  _ **_OH GOD WHY??_ **

My eggs. My beautiful scrambled eggs. Left too long on the pan, they no longer qualified as scrambled eggs. I wasn’t sure what they were - it looked like a weird hybrid between a scrambled egg and an omelette - but one thing I knew: I’d left them too long and lost this race. Finn was going to love this.

“Hey, Finn, come over here.” I said, staring down at my pitiful eggs. “Be honest with me. Does this look like a scrambled egg to you, or an omelette? I honestly can’t tell.”

***

_ I peered at her pan, then set my finished pancakes on a plate and went to grab a butter knife and a fork before coming back to the stove. I picked up a fluffy bit to taste. _

_ Soft, nicely salted. I nodded my head in approval. I know she didn't intend this little accident, but it was a happy one, at least. _

_ “I think it's delicious,” I declared with a smile. Pretty sure it would be an omelette only if you added cheese and other things. But these are great.” I put more on a fork and held them up to her mouth for her to try. “A good cook always samples their work.” _

***

“Well, thank God for that.” I sighed in relief. I still wasn’t happy with the presentation, but I suppose how it tasted was most important. “Actually, cheese isn’t mandatory to make an omelette. It does, however, make it delicious.”

I shut up when Finn held out a fork of my cooked eggs to me. A blush crept up on my face. I’m sure he didn’t intend it to be that way, but this had...I don’t know...erotic undertones?

Carefully (how embarrassing would it be if it dropped and fell on the floor or on my PJ top?), I took the fork into my mouth. And then, trying not to make it too obvious, I chewed and swallowed as quickly as I could.

“Yep, you were right, they’re pretty good!” I said hurriedly, tearing my gaze away from Finn’s handsome face and back to my eggs.

Cutting it in half, I piled one onto each of our waiting plates before standing back and assessing it.

“So, not quite scrambled, but not quite an omelette either…” I stated. And then I grinned. “And I shall christen it a ‘Scromelette Egg’!” 

Grabbing the bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup nearby, I drew a ‘D:’ onto the egg and then, next to it, a speech bubble saying, “Kill me! I should not be!” Was it juvenile like Dawn had said the one time I had breakfast with her? Probably, but, hey, it made me laugh.

_ I’m glad we did this, _ I thought.  _ If we hadn’t, I’d have spent the whole morning moping and worrying about leaving. _

***

_ The blush was priceless. That blush spoke volumes about what was going on in her head, the dirty birdie. _

_ I watched as she scurried back and quickly shifted focus to her eggs. The ketchup drawing made me laugh aloud. So much so that I'd almost forgotten to flip my pancakes. _

_ Hey, at least they were still a pretty nice brown. _

_ Guess I'm not the only distraction in the kitchen. _

_ “Alright, pancakes are about done,” I announced to Teagan. “Wanna grab plates?” _

***

I looked up and smiled, surprised, when I heard Finn laugh at the cartoon I’d drawn in ketchup on my breakfast.  _ Well, at least someone gets my humour _ .

“Roger that.” Grabbing our two plates, I came to a stop beside Finn and held them out to him.

“They look really good,” I complimented, eyeing the perfectly round, freshly cooked pancakes. The smell was delectable, too. “What should I get to put over on top of them? Chocolate spread? Maple syrup? Jam? You’re the pancake expert here.”

***

_ “Well, that's all in your preference,” I replied in a goofy posh voice. “I myself have a thing for the classic butter and maple syrup...but I gotta tell you: you haven't  _ **_lived_ ** _ until you've had pancakes with warm peanut butter and Nutella drizzled on top of 'em.” _

_ I waggle my eyebrows at her. She erupts in laughter. _

***

“Peanut butter and Nutella. Got it.”

Running to the cupboard, I grabbed my large jar of Nutella, but frowned when I searched for the peanut butter and found it nowhere in sight. That just wasn’t right… I bought a big jar and it’s not like I ate it very often. It  _ should _ be here…

And then I caught sight of a small folded up piece of paper, lying under the tin of PG Tips.

I took it out, unfolded it, and read:

‘ **Heeey, Tea! Hope U dont mind, but I burrowed UR peanut butter. Danny N I R going 2B getting FREA-KAY 2night with sum food, if U know what I mean. K, thanx, bye. HNK!!! :P Dawn.** ’

_ Jesus Christ, she writes in chatspeak even when using a pen… _

A look of disgust on my face (I really didn’t need that image of Dawn and her ex-boyfriend using food as foreplay in my head), I scrunched up the paper and chucked it in the bin before making my way back to the Finn with the Nutella.

“Bad news, we don’t have any peanut butter. ...And might never again.” I muttered under my breath.

***

_ “No problem, lovely. Nutella works just fine,” I beamed at her. “You take a seat while I grab us something to drink? What's your pleasure?” _

***

“Tea again, please. Milk, with two sugars.” I smiled, grabbing our two plates and taking them with me to the big table in the living room.

This morning was looking to be the funnest one I’d had, well,  _ ever _ .

***

_ I grab two mugs and make tea for the both of us. It all felt so... domestic. Not in a bad way at all. _

_ As the tea bags steeped in the steamy water, I checked my phone for any messages. Nothing out of the ordinary: a few work emails, including one from a very pleased Alexa after receiving her bonus (“You know how to make a demon feel appreciated!”), and a text message from Mrs. Austin regarding our meeting today. _

_ They asked about Teagan when they heard I'd wanted to buy it. I didn't go into detail, just enough that they knew my intent was good. Today we would meet and close the deal, including further arrangements made for Teagan. _

_ Smiling to myself, I took the warm mugs of tea, already mixed with sugar and milk, and met her in the living room. _

***

“Thanks,” I said, taking the mug from him. I put it down, leaving it to cool off, while I got started on eating my breakfast (if I left it any longer, the eggs would grow cold and how could I eat them then?)

I tried Finn’s pancakes first, eager to see if they were every bit as good as he’d boasted. I’d never tried pancakes before, not even French crêpes. Finn’s, by the looks of it, appeared to be a mix between the American and English variety.

Cutting a piece, spreading a bit of Nutella on it, I took a bite...

I grinned at Finn. “Oh my God, these are fluffy! Where did you learn to make this?” It was a shame I didn’t have peanut butter to complete the whole thing, but, oh well, maybe next time.

*** 

_ “Many a morning in Mom's kitchen,” I replied. “She did it mainly from scratch, but she taught me a few tricks with premade mix to use in a pinch.” _

_ I took a bite of her eggs, enjoying the texture and flavor. A pleased sound might have escaped. I regret nothing.  _

_ “So, Teagan, what's your favorite thing to cook?” _

***

A smile of pride came over my face at the fact that Finn was enjoying my scromelette eggs. It may not have turned out how intended, but I’d still count them as a success.

“You mean for breakfast or in general? If it’s the former, definitely eggs. Chuck some baked beans and toast and I’m happy. If it’s the latter… Hmmm…” I pondered over it, tongue poking out of my lips. It was a good question, one I’d never had to consider.

“Chicken Malaysian fried rice, I guess. It’s appealing to the eyes, very tasty, plus, if you make a lot of it, it can last you for a good few days.” I explained, taking another bite of pancake. “I always buy food that’s cheap or I can use as leftovers. It means I have to sometimes sacrifice taste and quality, but, well, such is life when you don’t have that much money, am I right?”

***

_ “I can agree with that.” Certain cheap buys tend to sacrifice quality for convenience - leaves something of a bad taste, really - but one makes do where they must. _

_ “I'd love to try your chicken Malaysian sometime - it sounds amazing.” I took another bite of food. _

***

“Sure. If I stay, I’ll be sure to cook some for you. We could, like, have a night in, watch some movie or other - I love horror, but I’m up for anything - and-” I paused, realising I was rambling a little and talking as if we were really good friends or an actual couple rather than two people who’d known each other for all but two days.

I was also talking as if I really had a chance of staying in this town.

“Hey, listen,” I cleared my throat, changing the subject. “I was wondering if I could have your phone number. Just in case I really do have to go. I’d give you a call to let you know when I’d settled in somewhere and that I was doing okay. Just so you wouldn’t worry.”

***

_ “Of course! I'll save it to your phone.” _

_ I took her cell phone and saved it under a name I knew would make her giggle, then handed it back with a grin. Sitting back with a satisfied smile, I have a sip of tea while she checked her phone for my contact. _

_ Yet again, I made her laugh. _

_ Ah, good times. _

***

I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face after seeing the name Finn saved his number under. ‘Finn the Master Builder’ - he hadn’t been bluffing when he said he was a fan of Lego. Only someone who had watched and loved the The Lego Movie would get that reference.

“That reminds me.” I took another bite of my eggs. “I’ve got something to ask you. I hope you don’t get offended.”

“Is, erm, is Finn Bálor your real name? When I saw your Facebook yesterday, I noticed that the name ‘Devitt’ was in the name of your profile. Plus, when I typed in your name on Google, it came up with a bunch of stuff for Irish mythology. Did you know that Bálor is the name of a demon king?”

***

_ “Yes, I did,” I replied simply. “Devitt is my family name. Bálor is a name I took up before I left home. Not out of shame or anything, mind you. See, in Ireland, we have so many legends, so many monsters and heroes. And we take those names and call upon those legends as a source of strength. Finn, for instance, came from Finn MacCool, a badass hero who made the Isle of Man by hurling a chunk of Ireland, supposedly at someone who pissed him off. _

_ “Bálor,” I continued. “is a demon with the power to end the world. I grew up hearing the tales and I thought he was so powerful, fearsome, always going forth and conquering. Kind of silly, I'm sure...changing my name to  children's story characters.” _

_ This was true. No one in Hell would have taken Fergal Devitt seriously as the Demon King. At least, according to Bálor. _

***

“No, it’s not. I totally see where you’re coming from. When I was a kid, I got into Harry Potter and I loved the character of Hermione so much that I wished I could change my name to hers. You see a lot of people do it actually, naming their kids after someone they admire.”

“And besides, Finn Bálor suits you to a T. It really is perfect for you.” I grinned at him. 

Having finished my plate, I pushed it to the side and focused on drinking up the rest of my tea. I was pleased to see that Finn had put just the right amount of sugar and milk into it.

***

_ “Thanks, lovely.” I smiled back. Seeing both plates empty, I pick them up and take them to the kitchen sink. I return, picking up my mug, and ask Teagan another question: “I'm curious: What's something that you've always wanted to try? Could be food, a hobby, something fun or insane.” _

***

“That’s an interesting question… I don’t even know where to start, there’s  _ so much _ to choose from.”

Maybe it was because I’d grown up with next to nothing, but my hunger for what life had to offer was momentous. While people round my age were content to dream of going on holidays and starting a family and having kids, that seemed small potatoes to me. There was a big, wide world out there, filled with so many things. I wanted to travel everywhere, learn all I could about those places.

“Honestly?  _ Everything. _ You’d have better luck asking me what I  _ don’t _ want to try.” I laughed. “Course, if I must choose something, then…”

I looked away, a blush working its way onto my face. “I-I’m embarrassed to say.”

***

_ “Oh come on, Teagan,” I teased. Then, with a playful nudge, “It can't honestly be that bad. And it's just me, so no judgement here. Whatever you say stays between us.” _

***

I’ll admit, I was worried Finn might be judge me, but, given how he hadn’t done it yet whenever I revealed sensitive, private information about myself, this fear was minimal. Really, it was just pure embarrassment at admitting it to a man’s face, and one who I was very attracted to, at that.

Keeping my eyes focused on anywhere but Finn, I all but whispered. “Sex. I-I’m a virgin…”

This was shameful for me to admit on two levels. The first was that, according to Dawn, once you reached a certain age, it was seen as plain sad to have not had sex yet. It was not something you should admit ever. The second was that, if the Bible was to be believed, it qualified as a sin. Sexual relations was only meant for married couples, not singletons such as myself. To desire such things was the same as committing the sin of lust.

***

_ I could see she felt shame over the admission. It was upsetting to know that someone else's repression and religious bullshit instilled this shame. _

_ “Teagan, that's honestly not a terrible thing to want, not at all. There's so much bad information out there, and a lot of irresponsible bastards that tell people what to do with their bodies. And don't get me started on the ones who take it for granted,” I reasoned.  _

 

_ “But... It's good that you want to experience that. Not because you're some delicate flower to be kept when some man decides he wants you. But because you have a choice in how you want your first experience to be. That's your call, lovely. No one else's.” _

***

I gave a sad, wry smile in return. That was nice of Finn to say, but it just wasn’t that simple. This was my  _ religion _ . I couldn’t just pick and choose what I wanted, there were rules in place and the rules stated no sex before marriage and no sexual impurity of any kind. That meant masturbation, lustful thoughts, etc. 

I wouldn’t lie, out of all the rules that came with being a Christian, this was the hardest one to follow. So hard and frustrating that some days I considered throwing in the towel if it meant some fulfillment.

“Thank you. For not making fun of me  and for being so understanding about it.” I finally said, still avoiding eye contact. “But...I’m afraid there’s nothing you can say to make me feel better. I can’t have sex until I’m married. And, considering how that’s unlikely to happen anytime soon, I guess I better get used to staying a virgin.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay. It sucks that’s how it has to be, but...can’t really miss something if you’ve never tried it, right?”

***

_ I sighed. If I could time-travel, I would tell the writers of the Bible what fucking idiots they are and about the lives they'll fuck up in later years with their repressive nonsense. _

_ Instead, I offered my difference in opinion as carefully as possible. “Not sure that's true, to be honest. There are plenty of things in the world that one can miss without ever trying them. I just believe that anyone who wants you should wants the entirety of you - mind, heart, and body - before a ring ever enters the picture. It's that connection, that... _ **_chemistry_ ** _ that binds people together.” _

_ Knowing that I may have overstepped, I added, looking at my hands. “Nevertheless, it's a part of your faith and I will always respect that. And you.” _

***

“I agree with you.” I confessed, though feeling like a bad Christian even as I said it.

Before I knew it, I was ranting slightly, “The Bible is centuries old, and the world was a very different place back when it was created. Things have changed now - and for the better, I think. So, why do we have to keep following traditions and rules from the stone age? Marriage is no longer the be all and end all it used to be, and surely sex is okay so long as it’s between two, safe consenting adults who like each other, right?”

I cooled down. “Then again, they do say that waiting makes the first time on the wedding night all the more special and amazing… And the Bible is a holy book, the word of God, Himself. What’s said in it goes, even if the world changes. So, when it says sexual impurity of any kind is a sin, there’s really no way around it, is there?”

I sighed. “I want to. I really,  _ really _ want to. But, I can’t. You remember what I told you on our second date about what scared me? How it’s the thought of something bad happening to me forever and ever? That’s pretty much what Hell would be like and I don’t want my soul to end up trapped there because I got weak and had to experience sex rather than wait and do it officially. Nothing scares me more.”

“Sorry, I really put a downer on this breakfast, huh?”

***

_ I chuckled. “Not at all. I'm glad you shared that. Honestly, I don't think God would punish his children for wanting to live and experience the world he gave them. Sex - wanting to know that feeling, wanting to enjoy it - doesn't make you less of a good person. I understand your fear, truly, but know that it isn't weakness if it happens before marriage. I'm probably not the best person to ask, but I do believe it's nothing to beat yourself up over.” _

_ I placed a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed. “Nothing about you, dear Teagan, is weak.” _

***

I placed my hand over his own and squeezed back. Though I said nothing, I’m sure he knew that I appreciated everything he’d said.

As to whether he was right...well, I just didn’t know. If I were to take this to the local church, or have it mentioned to the circles my mother had associated herself with, I’m sure the answer I’d get would be a resounding no. Finn was a heathen and probably just saying that because he wanted sex.

Still, I  _ really _ wanted to believe him…

Suddenly a notification popped up on my phone - it was a reminder for one of my jobs today.

“I better get ready.” I said, standing up. “So, you’re sure I should just go about my day as normal? I was thinking of visiting the people I do jobs for every week and saying my goodbyes....” 

***

_ “I'm absolutely certain. In fact, I'm so certain, I say... let's make a wager of it: winner requests any prize of the loser -  _ **_within reason_ ** _ , of course. Agreed?” I extended my hand. _

***

His unwavering confidence was reassuring. It told me that Finn wasn’t just saying all those things to make me feel better or because he hoped things would go well. No, he  _ knew _ it would.

I shook his hand. “I sincerely hope I lose.” 

Walking to my backpack, I opened it and pulled out an outfit to chuck on. Nothing too fancy, a simple cardigan and dress attire. If I was staying, I’d be sure to go through my wardrobe later and decide what stuff I wanted to keep, and what to get rid of. I had a lot of hand me downs from Dawn which just didn’t suit me, as well as some questionable clothes that simply had to go.

“So, when should I expect to see you again?” I asked, after I was dressed and ready to leave.

***

_ “Text me about...2pm? I should be done by then. And we'll meet up.” I handed her my phone. “You should add your number, too. In case I finish up before then.” _

_ I bolted to the guest room to grab the rest of my clothes. Quickly I tugged my shirt over my head and slipped on my shoes at the door before heading back to Teagan. _

***

“2pm?” It was now 11am. Was three hours all Finn really needed? “Okay, if you say so.”

With nothing witty to put as my contact name, I just put ‘Teagan Dunn’ for now, making a mental note to think up something for later.

I handed the phone back to Finn, a little giddy inside. He had my number now, and I his. Though it was small, it meant that I’d never have to fear of suddenly losing contact with him like before.

“Well, I’m off to see Mrs. Glover. Should be done by 12:30. I’ll see you later.” I smiled.

***

_ “See you later, Teagan. And remember, no goodbyes today.” With a kiss to her forehead, I was off. _


	12. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple pleasant - and not so pleasant - surprises await.

_As soon as I sat in my car, my phone went off. “Mornin’, sir! How are you?”_

_“Very well, Mr. Bálor,” Evan Austin replied in jovial manner. “We're heading your way in fifteen. Everything in place?”_

_“Yes sir, all is secured. We'll get this done with no trouble.”_

_“Excellent! I'm so glad you're doing this for Teagan. She's always been such a nice young lady, and she deserves a break,” Desiree Austin added happily._

_“We'll see you soon!” Mr. Austin said._

_“See you soon!” I hung up. The Austins really did seem like delightful people. How Dawn spawned from their union was well beyond me._

_Teagan was fortunate indeed._

_Well then, on with the day._

***

“‘ _And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever._ ’” I read aloud the last line of Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer.

I closed the book and left it on the side table. “So, what do you think?”

This was my job every weekend, round 11:30am to 12:30pm. I would pay a visit to old but spry Dorothy Glover to assist her with her shopping or read a few chapters of her latest book to her as her eyesight wasn’t as good as it used to be. She liked my voice and said I reminded her of her granddaughter, who lived in France with the rest of the family and visited every couple of months.

The old woman was not impressed. “Is that it?”

“Yep. Pretty much a  _‘And they all lived happily ever after’_.” 

“ _Fuck._  I wanted her to die in the end. Him, too.” Mrs. Glover swore. “Well, that was a complete waste of time. I don’t know what my granddaughter was thinking recommending it to me.”

“I warned you, didn’t I? And, to be fair, you did tell her you liked romance novels.” I smiled, trying not to laugh.

“And I do!  _Good ones!_  That is nothing but a Harlequin romance novel pretending to be something better than it actually is! It had no business having a happy ending. She should have died at the end or suffered, I tell you!”

“Man, you really hate Bella Swan.”

“I do, yes, but it’s not about that, dear. It’s what’s  _right_. Stories like these, they sugarcoat or ignore it, but the fact of the matter is that you cannot have a relationship with a creature like a vampire, zombie, demon, and expect a happy ending. If you want to join them, then sacrifices have to be made! That’s what makes it all the better when love still triumphs in the end. You understand?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I admit, I did think it was a cop-out that Bella had it too easy when she became a vampire.” I mused.

“It’s a tale as old as time. Take the story of Hades and Persephone - are you aware of your Greek mythology, Teagan?”

“A little. That one is about how Hades fell in love with Persephone, kidnapped her to the underworld, and then tricked her into staying by feeding her pomegranate, right? Doesn’t sound like much of a love story to me…”

“Ah, but it is! Hades was devoted to his job as God of the Underworld, but he loved Persephone  _so much_  that he went against his duty the one and only time so she could be his. He also never cheated on her once, which is saying something because screwing around with mortals is ALL the Greek Gods ever seemed to do.”

“Well, sure, but what about Persephone?” I asked, interested. I’d always looked at it with a very black and white view. Hades stole Persephone. Persephone was miserable and wanted to leave. Hades tricked her into having to stay half a year, and Persephone simply made the best of a shit deal.

“There had to be love there, child.” Mrs. Glover said sagely. “If there wasn’t, there’d have been more stories of the two cheating on one another, or Persephone’s unhappiness. But that’s not the case. They, for all intents and purposes, had the best relationship out of all the Gods. There’s even a story where a foolish nymph tried to seduce Hades and Persephone punished her. Now, does that sound like the actions of a woman who doesn’t care?”

“No, I guess you’re right.” I smiled. “Still, kind of sad that she had her freedom taken away and had to spend the rest of eternity spending half a year in the Underworld.”

“True, but that’s how it should be. Hades and Persephone were from two very different worlds, after all. That’s the point I’m trying to make, Teagan. You can't have your cake and eat it like that Bella Swan did. To gain something, sometimes you have to lose something else in the process. Something just as precious. It’s bittersweet, yes, but, if it’s really love, it’s worth it in the end.”

She then saw the time. “Oh my, it’s 12:50! Teagan, I do apologize! I was rambling like a silly old biddy that I kept you longer than usual. Here, take an extra $5.” She offered me the note.

I refused. “No, no, it’s fine, Mrs. Glover. It was fun, plus I like learning new things.”

“You’re such a good girl, Teagan. I hope you find yourself a nice man who look after you and makes you happy.”

I smiled. Mrs. Glover was of the generation where marriage was the thing to aspire to for a woman. I didn’t mind. Her heart was in the right place; plus, better that than her being openly racist or a complete grump.

I took the usual payment and got ready to leave. “So, tomorrow, same time?”

“Of course! I’ll have my new book ready by tomorrow. I’m thinking of that ‘Gone Girl’ that everyone is raving about.” The old woman said as she walked me to the door. “Goodbye, Teagan, dear, have a nice day.”

Waving to Mrs. Glover - and hoping this would not be the last time I paid a visit to her - I left to go and buy myself a drink.

***

_“So it's settled, then?”_

_“It's done.”_

_“Wonderful! Teagan's going to be so happy!”_

_“I certainly hope so, Mrs. Austin.”_

_“You're very kind to do this, Mr. Bálor. If we're being honest, she's our favorite of Dawn's friends. Such a sweet soul.”_

_“And determined. She works hard and honestly to make a life for herself. This will go a long way.”_

_“Agreed, Mr. Austin. Although the house will be overwhelming enough; the other gift may well bring her to tears.”_

_“It's what she deserves. All she's been through? She deserves a break. You let her know we love her, alright? And if she needs anything, either of you, you give us a call.”_

_“Of course. Thank you both.”_

_The Austins were, without question, the kindest and most honest people in Teagan's life. It almost explained some of Dawn's bitterness towards Teagan. The way they spoke of her, you'd think Teagan was their real daughter._

_I looked at my phone. It's almost one in the afternoon. Lunch with a new prospect, then I'll touch base with Teagan._

***

There are two parks in the town. The first is quite a modest size and mostly occupied by a playground for the parents to take their children to, and those who want to have picnics. This was the park where I’d first met Finn when he stopped man from harassing me.

The second park was right on the edge of town and bigger by far - four big fields, to be exact. Made up of meadows, wetland and woodland habitat, it was a popular spot for joggers, those walking their dogs, and anyone who just wanted to wander around and enjoy the scenery it had to offer.

I was in the third category. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and nothing provided that better than the beautiful area of ancient woodland, grassland, ponds and hedgerows the park provided. It was also a nice bit of downtime before I contacted Finn at 2pm.

Walking along the short, nature path through the woods, I was just enjoying listening to the sound of birdsong in the air, when I heard it. The sound of...a sermon? It sounded like that…

Approaching the sound, I soon came upon one of the four fields and, in the middle, was a man talking to a group of people who sat cross-legged by his feet. My eyes widened as I recognized the man. It was Bray Wyatt.

_Why do I keep running into this guy?!_

I should have turned back, but I found myself rooted to the spot, listening to what he was saying.

“People, they think they know what they want, but they don’t. They’ve been fed a lie, man. I’m talking about the regular, every day working class. You see, from cradle to grave, they’re told what they should want, what is ‘normal’. A job, a family, a white picket fence with a nice, little house. They don’t see what’s really in front of their eyes, they don’t see the truth like I do.” Bray announced to his captivated audience.

“They don’t love you like I do, either, man. They CAN’T love you, not like I can. To them, you’re all just cogs in the machine, sheep and dogs they work until they’ve sucked the life out of ya and put you down into the ground. But not me. To me, you’re all my brothers and sisters - my family - and I will tell you all what Sister Abigail told me. Take my hand, and I will lead you down the path to greatness! I am powerful, I am everlasting, and I can save you from this wicked world! I can show you love -  _REAL_  love - and I can give you peace. No more will you be lambs, hiding in fear from the wolves in sheep’ clothing. Join me and you will have the whole world in your hands!!”

It was nonsense. Convoluted nonsense that sounded deep at first, but really didn’t hold much substance.

And yet...he was so damn charismatic, I couldn’t help but stay rooted to the spot, listening.

***

_Stephen Farrelly was...pretty damned likable. And large. Not quite towering - six-foot-four to my five-eleven - but an impressive hulk of a man._

_It was easy to sit and relate to a fellow Irishman. We joked back and forth, largely in Irish, and talked about favorite methods of torture and manipulation. A wealth of knowledge, Stephen was seeking promotion to Lead Field Enforcer._

_His claim to fame as a human? He once made a man shit himself with a single look...just for insulting his hair._

_Though he had to take off a bit earlier, I had high hopes for Stephen's future._

_As soon as he changes his name. So far, ‘Sheamus O'Shaunessy’ was at the top of the list._

_I laughed to myself and checked my email, responded to a few correspondences, then shot Teagan a text message:_

**_How's your day going?_ **

***

Hearing the notification sound coming from my phone, I took it out of the pocket of my red raincoat to see it was a text from Finn.

I smiled and texted out a reply:  _Not bad, all things considering. How about you?_

“I knew you’d come.” A voice came out of nowhere from behind me.

I jumped - quickly pocketing my phone - as I turned around to see Bray Wyatt standing there, smiling.

“What, this? Oh, no, no, I was just walking around, taking a stroll, and came across...whatever it is was going on here.” I explained gesturing towards the group of people in the clearing.

Bray didn’t seem deterred. “And yet you stayed to listen.”

He had me there. There wasn’t much I could say other than shrug and admit, “It was interesting. Really caught my attention.”

“That’s too kind of you. If you liked it so much, you should come again the next time we meet and I impart my knowledge and wisdom onto my family. This was only but a taster of what I have to offer. There’s so much more I have to tell you. To tell ALL you little lambs.”

“Well, erm, that’s very nice of you to offer, Mr. Wyatt, but…” I stalled, hoping a quick and polite rejection would ensure I could leave with no trouble. It’s true, I had found myself drawn to what he was saying, but this was a little dodgy, wasn’t it? I was getting some serious cult vibes from Bray Wyatt and, if that was the case, I didn’t want anything to do with him.

Behind Bray, conversing with the others, I saw the man dressed like a trucker.

As if sensing my watchful gaze, he turned around and fixed me with an unnerving stare.

“I-I wish I could, but...” I said quickly, growing increasingly nervous. It was just dawning on me that I was out alone in a field on the outskirts of town. Anything could happen to me and no one would know about it. “I may or may not be moving leaving town tomorrow. Haven’t really decided yet.”

“Ah, that’s a shame, man, I was looking forward to helping open your eyes and mind. You in trouble, little lamb?”

I nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

“That’s typical of this world. It can such a cold, dark and lonely place, can’t it?” Bray responded, his voice softening. “I can tell by the look on your face that this isn’t the first time this world has turned its back on you, that society’s teeth has chewed you up and spat you out into the dirt. So why do you still insist on playing their game, little lamb? Ain’t you tired of always running, never stopping? What are you looking for?”

There was that charisma again. I don’t know how to describe it, but when he started talking like that, I couldn’t help but listen and consider what he was saying. “A place to call home. To be loved. To be happy, I guess? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“I understand. We all want to belong somewhere, to be at peace with ourselves and what we have. And as for love, who doesn’t want that? Love’s what makes the world go round, man. It’s just as delectable as hate and fear and despair.” Bray chuckled. “You join my family, and I promise you can have all those things and more.”

I didn’t respond, but Bray continued. “You think you’re one of them, but you’re not. You’re just a lamb to the slaughter.” He said simply, though his words or demeanor held no malice. “And that ain’t ever going to change, even if you stay or run away. I’m the only one that can save you, no one else can.” 

“I...I really should be going now…” I stuttered, backing away. “Nice to meet-”

I dropped the pretense and ran away. This man was definitely a cult leader and he was scouting me. I had to leave now before he spoke anymore and I found myself actually believing his bullshit.

Bray laughed merrily behind me. “RUN, little lamb! Run back home and bury your head in the sand. I look forward to seeing you again!”

Was I was a good distance away, I collapsed against a nearby wall, panting.

_Okay, Teagan, maybe you should not go to parks alone anymore? First the hotheaded catcaller, now this creepy swamp cult leader? Why the hell won’t they just leave you alone!?_

My phone beeped. Taking it out, I saw that Finn had replied to the text I sent.

*** 

**_No complaints. Where are you? Can we meet up?_ **

_I sent Teagan a reply once I got to my apartment, then took a hot shower. Today was a successful day and I was feeling pretty whimsical. So I picked out my clothes accordingly._

_I hope Teagan's up for a good time._

***

_Sure. Meet you at the local shopping centre?_

Briefly glancing over my shoulder at the fields, I picked up my pace getting out of there and heading back into town.

Finn’s response seemed to indicate that he hadn’t received any bad news today, which bode well for my chances of saving my home. Still, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions here. For all I knew, he was being polite and wanted to tell me the bad news in person rather than by phone.

Bracing myself, I continued on my way.

***

 

**_Perfect. Meet me at Cinnabon._ **

_I got dressed quickly. All casual: jeans, t-shirt, comfortable running shoes. Manila folder in hand, I bolted out to meet Teagan. This couldn't wait._

_It was one of the rare times that something positive excited me. Curious._

***

Cinnabon? I perked up. I loved that place. Cinnamon rolls were my all time favourite guilty pleasures. Maybe this was a good omen?

_God, I hope so…_

It didn’t take me long to arrive at my destination. The buses, thankfully, were pretty punctual today and the roads clear ahead. What could have potentially been a half an hour or longer trip thankfully only took fifteen minutes.

I stepped off the bus to see Finn waiting outside.

***

_I waved to her from the table I'm sitting at, manila folder at my side. Only I tried to keep my face as even as possible, giving nothing away._

_She looks a bit wary as she sat down, so it was working._

_“So...some things happened today. Turns out I probably should have been telling you to say goodbye after all.”_

***

_I knew it. Goddammit,_ **_I knew it_ ** _._

I’m not sure what was more cruel. The fact that I was right all along, or that, despite my repeated efforts not to get my hopes up, I had right at the very last minute. The sadness that hit me then was like a punch to the gut.

_So this is really it. After building me a home here, after coming so far, it’s all over again…_

***

_The look of sadness started to take shape on her face, but I stopped it quickly. I wasn't_ **_that_ ** _cruel._

_“To the Austins. They're going away on vacation and they were all too happy to let go of the house.” I handed her the folder with a smile. “It's yours now.”_

***

I was going to cry. I was going to excuse myself to the girl’s bathroom and go cry quietly as I could in one of the stalls-

And then I heard Finn’s next words and looked down at the folder in my hands and I didn’t know what to believe.  _What was that he just say? The house is mine now? ...What? He’s kidding, right?_

Opening the folder, I dropped it in shock when I saw it was a deed to the house. Finn had saved my home alright - he’d gone and bought it himself!

“Oh… Oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…!” I said over and over again, hands cupped over my mouth. I looked back and forth between it and Finn, trying to process it all. “Th- They sold it to you? Yo-You actually bought it for me?”

“I…” I started crying, though this was tears of gratitude. I hadn’t doubted Finn when he said he’d do all he could to help me, but  _this_ …! 

“Thank you. Thank you so much!”

***

_“The Austins send their love, and said it was something they felt that you deserved. There's something else though. Said it was going to be a surprise for another occasion, but felt that this was the right time.” The small white envelope I held back in my pocket passed from my hand to hers, and I pulled out the accompanying note they asked me to read aloud._

_“_ **_Teagan_ ** _,” I began the letter. “_ **_It's been a pleasure to keep you in our home. Even though we weren't under the same roof, we're so proud of your perseverance and your kindness. Please accept this check with our fondest regards. May you take this and achieve your dreams. With love, Evan and Desiree Austin._ ** _”_

***

I said nothing. I was speechless. Finn buying the house was a big enough shock as it was, but the Austins leaving me some money, too? Even though I wasn’t family in anyway? It was too much to take in. Too much to handle.

My eyes fell on the check and I very nearly dropped it as I had done the folder. It wasn’t $100, like I’d suspected. It wasn’t even $500 or $1000.

No, it was  ** _$10,000._**

This...this was Dawn’s trust fund. Or, to be more accurate, the money Dawn assumed her parents would eventually give her - when was anyone’s guess. First, it was when she reached adulthood. When that didn’t happen, it was when she got her first job. When she still didn’t receive any money, she made up another excuse. But, that money was definitely coming her way, that she was sure of.

Well, now it wasn’t and, the second Dawn found out about this, things were going to get ugly. Very, very ugly.

“They… They’ve given me ten grand.” I said weakly, wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. “They… They have no idea how much this means to me. I-I only wish I could accept it…”

Putting it down, I looked at Finn. “Will the rent on the house stay the same? I...I might struggle to pay it. I just paid a small portion, Dawn paid the rest...”

_Like, about $100. Shit, I really didn’t consider how I was going to cover the rent…_

***

_Oh, Teagan..._

_Here's the twist in the plan._

_“You don't need to pay rent anymore. The house is in your name.”_

_The stunned look on her face spoke volumes of how unworthy she felt. She struggled with whether or not to accept this gift, as I knew she would because she was a good person._

_“Teagan,” I started, taking her hand. “They love you, and they were so excited about doing this for you. It's what you deserved, they said. And they know you have a dream you want to fulfill. That's really the only request they had for it. And you…” I gently tilted Teagan's head to face me as I smiled at her. “You deserve some happiness for a change.”_

_I sat back as an idea hit me. “'Course, if you want to talk payment...there is the matter of a suit.”_

***

“Finn, come on!” I scoffed at such an idea. “I don’t know how much the house cost, but the most expensive suit in the world is $60,000. I doubt any suit I make will ever be good enough to even match up to the money you spent on me today. I...I don’t know how I can ever repay you for this…”

Looking at the check, I debated over it and then sighed. “Okay, I’ll do the suit.”

“Oh. That reminds me. We had a wager going this morning. You were certain you’d help me, and I was certain I’d be leaving. Winner got to pick the prize. Well, you win, Finn. Just as I’d hoped.” I smiled. “So, what do you want?”

***

_“What do I want? Hmmm...what_ **_do_ ** _I want? Oh, I know.” I raised up from my seat and leaned forward slowly, until our faces were an inch apart. I licked my lips as I looked at hers, which were slightly parted as if unsure what's about to happen._

_With a smile, I whispered, “Another date.”_

***

_He’s going to kiss me, isn’t he? Oh God, he’s going to kiss me! What do I do? I haven’t done this before, I’m going to make a total idiot of myself. And we’re in Cinnabon and there are people here and what if they stare_ \- My thoughts were a mess as Finn’s face was right in my field of vision.

Thankfully, he didn’t kiss me (I never thought I’d be thinking  _that_ ). He did, however, ask me out on another date.

I was more than happy to accept.

“Sure. Can we have it at my place? The last two dates out have kind of ended badly and I don’t want to jinx the third one. I  _really_  want it to go well this time.” I told him. “I’ll cook that Malaysian dish I was telling you about, and we can watch a movie together. How about The Lego Movie? I’ve seen it three times, but I don’t care. Plus, ‘ _Everything is Awesome_ ’!” 

***

_I laughed with her as I sat down. “Now that's stuck in my head - thanks so much for that!”_

_I wasn't joking around about my enjoyment of LEGOs. I have the film on Blu-ray, especially after using it as punishment for a void who hated children in their human life. Had it playing on a perpetual loop, while I sang along to the theme song occasionally. I have no shame._

_“Yeah, sounds good. When do we do this?”_

***

“I’ve had it stuck in my head since I found out we’re going to Legoland! If I have to suffer, so do you!” I countered good-naturedly.

“Erm, I don’t know. I was going to say Sunday, but that doesn’t seem like a smart move. You have work to get to on Monday and I’ve got things to do. Plus, this week has just being  _insane_. I can’t believe this has all happened in seven days!”

There was only one day it could be. The perfect day for anyone who’d had a busy week and wanted to cool down and do whatever they wanted.

_Thank God it’s Friday, indeed._

“Next Friday. That way, we can stay up as long as we want and you can sleep in. Is that okay for you?”

***

_“Perfect. And you're right, we_ **_do_ ** _have Legoland to look forward to, don't we?”_

_A huge smile spread across my face as I stood up and walked to her side. “Tell you what: since today is a happy day, let's hang out, do Legoland, and be silly today. You think you got the energy to keep up?”_

***

A smile that equaled Finn’s came over my face. “Yeah! Let’s do it!”

Jumping from my seat - and ignoring the fact that the cashier was giving us a dirty look for not ordering anything.  _Sorry, Cinnabon, your classic roll is delicious but oh so fattening_  - I grabbed Finn’s arm and held it to me.

_This has got to be the happiest day of my life._  I thought. And then, remembering a joke from The Simpsons Movie, I added,  ** _So far_** _._  Hopefully there’d be many more happy times to come.

“Oh, before we go, I just need to head home very quickly. Unpack my stuff, maybe change into something more casual. Meet you at my place in half an hour?” I asked.

***

_“Actually, how about I just drive you there?” I offered, pleased to see her in better spirits. “I have everything I need already, save for something I wanna put on before we get to Legoland, so it works.”_

***

“Sounds good.” I agreed. “I promise I won’t take too long.”

And then I honest to God squeed because I was so happy. “I can’t believe I’m going to LEGOLAND. I’ve wanted to go for ages!”

It wasn’t that I didn’t have the means. I could have easily have gone to the Legoland just outside of town if I wanted. I just didn’t, mostly because it’s no fun if you’re going alone and Dawn had told me it’d be childish for an adult to go willingly.

Seeing how openly proud Finn was about his love for it was starting to make feel less ashamed now.

***

_We pulled up to her - yes,_ **_her_ ** _\- home and she ran inside, with a bounce in her step that I hadn't seen before._

_Since today was full of surprises, I thought I would pull one more from the trunk of my car. The air was chilly, but not cold, so I knew my favorite leather jacket was out of the question._

_Instead I found something a bit more...animated._

_I slipped it on, the lining of the hoodie sliding soft and warm against my bare forearms, and leaned against the car awaiting her reappearance. I figured Teagan would appreciate it, and I wouldn't appear so dark for a change._

_Lucifer was an angel of light, after all._

***

I came bounding out of my house, having discarded the hoodie and dress for a simple long sleeve black and white striped top and black jeans.

Approaching the car, I paused when I saw that Finn had changed his top.

My eyes widened when I saw what said top was.

It was a Buzz Lightyear hoodie. He was actually wearing Buzz Lightyear hoodie from Toy Story! The purple hood was up, covering his dark brown hair, the whole thing complimented by his black trousers and trainers.

Finn was the definition of huggable at that moment. I seriously wanted to wrap my arms around him and not let go.

(Yes, as well as liking men in suits, I had a thing for men in hoodies, too. ...Plus uniforms.)

I couldn’t stop grinning. “You know, you're kind of a crouching badass, hidden dork, you know that?”

“Aren’t… Aren’t you worried about what people might say? Like, you’re being childish?” I then asked.

***

_I grinned. “As a wise man once said...what’s the point of being an adult if you can't be childish sometimes?”_

_Looking down at my hoodie and back at Teagan, I added, “And anyway, do I look like the type to care what people think? They don't like it, that's their issue. Right now, I just wanna go nerd out over building toys with my favorite girl, childishness be damned. You okay with that?”_

***

Well, that cinched it for me. Seeing Finn wear his Buzz Lightyear hoodie without a single shred of shame inspired me. He didn’t know it, but I had a gimmicky hoodie of my own. I’d bought it years back, unable to resist, but I’d being unable to wear it (my parents would have taken one look at it and burned it). Even once I was free of my parents, I couldn’t, having lost all confidence thanks to Dawn telling me I looked like a total idiot in it.

But now I had Finn. I knew that, even if I looked stupid or childish in it, he wouldn’t give a toss. I didn’t have to fear stares or comments because he’d be there with me, looking stupid and childish too, in his awesome Buzz Lightyear hoodie.

“Be right back!” I said, hurriedly chucking my black star decorated handbag into his arms before turning around and racing back into my house.

I ran into my bedroom and, from under the bed, pulled out a black umbro luggage with a padlock on it. Inside it contained what I liked to refer to as ‘the Real Me’. They were items that my parents hadn’t approved of and tried to destroy or slap and punish out of me, and items that Dawn had taken one look at and put me down over. They were all the items that I loved and wished I could use, but hid out of fear of being judged.

Well, no more!

Putting in the combination - 7917 - I opened it and took out the item I was looking for: My Pikachu hoodie, with ears and all as the hood.

Dusting it off, I removed my shirt and put it on. I glanced at myself in the mirror to see how I looked and very nearly chucked it off. I looked like such a massive dork it wasn’t funny. Dawn was right, who’d want to be seen in public with me dressed like this!?

_Okay, Teagan. Don’t get cold feet, you can do it!_

Gulping, I closed the umbro luggage bag and made my way downstairs to the door. After a few seconds of persuading myself to step out and show Finn, I crossed my fingers and stepped outside.

“Hey. I thought we could be adorkable and childish together…”

***

_A flash of yellow caught my eye as Teagan stepped out of the house._

_Correction: Teagan_ **_in a Pikachu hoodie_ ** _stepped out of the house._

_Now I wasn't a Pokemon fan by any means, but I'd have to have lived under a rock in my previous life not to recognize the cute little ball of lightning._

_Somehow, it suited her perfectly._

_I beamed with pride. And, because I couldn't resist, I called out, “Pikachu, I choose you!”_

_Hey, at least she laughed. I give her a warm embrace and kiss her forehead, a way to show how proud of her I am. This was a huge step in the right direction._

***

_Well, seeing as he’s hugging me…_

Seeing as I had a perfect opportunity, I wrapped my arms around Finn and buried my face into his chest. Yep, definitely huggable. I didn’t want to let go, but, if we wanted to go to Legoland this afternoon, I was going to have to.

Reluctantly, I released him. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

“Oh wait, wait! I want to take a picture!” I said, taking my phone out of my bag. “I want to remember to this day.”

***

_“Alright, lovely.” She was just so bubbly, I couldn't resist._

_We squeezed in together while she adjusted the phone in front of us or get the right shot._

_“Okay, on three we'll say… hmmm. What should we say on three?”_

 ***

“Erm… I have no idea…” I confessed. 

“‘Cheese’ is out of the question. I know they say it’s supposed to give you the perfect smile, but it’s not true. Erm… I think I read somewhere that saying ‘pickles’ or ‘oats’ works, but that seems kinda boring.”

An idea then came to my head. A ridiculously stupid idea that proved how much of a dork I was. At least Finn hid his well, I was as blatant as one could get.

“Well, erm, I do have a suggestion...” I said, avoiding eye contact. “We could say our catchphrases. So, you do ‘To infinity, and beyond!’ and I do… ‘Pika, pika’...? I mean, you know it’s a thought, we don’t have to. We’ll probably look like a bunch of idiots anyway.”

***

_I wanted to kiss her. I really did._

_She was too cute for words._

_“I like that, actually,” I agreed, turning to look at her. “Let's do that.”_

***

I smiled. It was so weird, having someone who embraced the real me, but, at the same time, absolutely wonderful. I wondered if I would ever get used to this…

“Okay, here goes.” I held the camera up, and begun the countdown. “One… Two… Three…”

“ _Pika, Pika!_ ” 

I pressed the button as many times as possible so that we’d have more than one photo to choose from. I had to! Shortly after the words left my mouth, I was able to smile for all of two seconds before I fell into a fit of laughter.

That and Finn’s pose was hilarious.

“ _What was that!?_ ” I demanded, copying his back straight, arms at the side with a giant, stupid yet lovable grin pose whilst trying to contain my giggles. “You did the exact same thing in your Facebook profile too!”

Me making the heart shape with my fingers seemed positively boring in contrast now.

*** 

_“It's something I did a lot growing up. I hated being the center of attention, so I would literally freeze up whenever pictures were taken. I got older, and it was just funny so I kept doing it,” I replied with a shrug before demonstrating it again._

_Teagan gave a full body laugh, one I could swear brightened her soul two shades. She's positively luminous when she's happy._

_Not there yet, but a step above a dying ember for sure. It's a start._

***

“I love it! Never stop doing it, it’s just so dorky, but adorable.” I grinned, putting away my phone. “You have a name for it? I think you should.”

Picture done, I made my way to the passenger side of his car and got buckled myself in.

“Right, Legoland!”

Just then, I remembered that I’d intended to change my name in Finn’s contact list when I remembered something better.

Well, now I had.

“Can I borrow your phone for a sec? I just want to change the name I put. You know, so we’re matching.”

I quickly edited it and returned Finn’s phone to him. When he tried to call or text me next, my name would come up as ‘Teagan the Special’, a Lego Movie reference to match his. I hoped he liked it and didn’t think me presumptuous. I was in no way saying I was most special, most talented, and most extraordinary person in the universe.

*** 

_I took a look at her contact in my phone: 'Teagan the Special’._

_The smile didn't leave my face as I looked at Teagan. “Sounds about right. I mean, you are definitely the greatest, most interesting, and most extraordinary person I've ever met.”_

***

I looked down at my hands, smiling. “Sh-Shut up, you know that’s not true...But thank you.”

The time was now 3:30pm. Legoland, as far as I knew, closed at 7pm. We definitely needed to leave now if we wanted to make good time and enjoy ourselves there to our heart’s content. 

***

_“You look me in the eyes and tell me that a working BB-8 model made out of LEGOs wouldn't be cool. I dare you!”_

_We were still all smiles as we walked to her door hours later. Legoland was every bit as fun as expected. We picked out new sets, and she chose one model we could build together. There were plenty of laughs and pics to be had._

_Afterwards we had dinner and talked about everything that we enjoyed. Which led to a discussion on which droids would be even more amazing if they were made of LEGOs or K’nex and could be fully operational._

_She stood by R2-D2, I said BB-8._

_It was highly ridiculous. And it was a brilliant time._

***

Tonight had been a whale of a night. I don’t think I’d had this much fun in, well, ever.

LEGOLAND was everything I expected and more. I don’t know what I enjoyed more: Miniland which made me want to build one of my very own , or the LEGO Racers: Build & Test where we built our own cars and raced each other. Officially, both of us came to a draw, but, if I was honest, I’d say Finn won it. His car, which he’d modeled on his real life one, was far superior to my own.

The LEGO car race had also inspired the super geeky, but super fun argument we had over dinner. Finn was insistent his opinion that BB-8 would be superior than R2-D2 if a working model was ever made out of Lego or K’nex. I disagreed, because he was wrong and delusional and  _how very dare he_.

“Look, I’m not saying it wouldn’t be cool - it’d be very cool. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about which one would be better, and it’s OBVIOUSLY R2-D2. I mean, Finn, you couldn’t even build BB-8 out of LEGOS if you tried, and don’t get me started on K’nex. Know why? Because LEGOS are these little things called squares and rectangles and BB-8 is ROUND.” I made formed the shapes with my fingers to emphasize my point. “I mean, I’ll admit, so is R2-D2’s head, but that’s a small part, it can be worked around. BB-8, you can’t. Teagan: 1. Finn: 0.”

This really was quite possibly the stupidest conversation known to man, but I didn’t care. I was loving it.

***

_We stopped in front of her door. “Today was fantastic. Thanks for coming out to play.”_  

***

“Hey, I should be thanking you, you’re the one who suggested this. If you hadn’t, I’d have just walked out on our first date and we’d probably have never spoken again.” I smiled, becoming serious. “I’m glad you did. The week may have been rough, but today more than made up for it.”

“Thank you, Finn, I had a really amazing time.” I hugged him.

***

_I hugged her back. “So did I, lovely.”_

_It felt strange, the reluctance to let her go. Pulling back, I said, “I hope that, now that you're able to stay, there's more amazing times like this to come.”_

_The flicker in her soul was a hopeful one. I knew she felt the same._

_“And of course, there's still our date. And the suit,” I teased._

***

“Yeah,” I agreed, though I looked away, shyly, when he mentioned the suit. “Oh God, you’re really serious about that, aren’t you? You do realize I’m going to have to get your measurements, right? That’s...That’s not going to make you uncomfortable?”

_Because it’s sure going to make me._

“Also, I’ll send you the photos we took on my phone later on tonight so you’ll have them, too.” I added.

***

_“Excellent! You got some better shots than I did, but I'll send you mine too.”_

_As for the suit, “I'm comfortable with it as long as you are,” I replied easily. “And yes, I'm serious. I want to see what you can do, and I do love a bespoke suit. Whatever you need, I'll pull it together. It'll be good.”_

_I'd make certain of that._

***

“Okay, sure. I’ll be sure to let you know what I need.” I nodded.

Before I could do that, however, I’d need to open my luggage upstairs and retrieve my folder on tailoring, etc. I was rusty and needed to refresh my memory a little before I even attempted the suit.

“Well, I better be going. Need to unpack my stuff, maybe have a bath.” I announced. “Goodnight, Finn. See you next Friday.”

Waving at him, I closed the door.

It was intention to head to the bathroom or living room, but then my mind went back to the whole day - how he’d made breakfast with me, secured my home, took me to Legoland - and I couldn’t contain myself.

Running back to the door, I opened it and  hugged Finn again. Only this time I gave him three kisses on the cheek.

“Okay, definitely done now. Bye!” I said, closing the door for real this time.

***                                                               

_I stood at the door, stunned._

_Teagan just kissed me on the cheek three times in succession._

_It brought a certain warmth to the surface. For a moment, I felt normal. And it wasn't detestable, or wrong._

_She's definitely making progress. A bit more watering, a bit more nurturing. And she'll blossom beautifully._

_And all Heaven will be able to do is watch as I pluck their flower from their most valued, unspoiled garden, and take it with me to the depths of Hell, knowing I took better care of her  than they - or their God - ever could._

_A couple quick errands to run, and I'll return to check in on her._

***

The time was 11pm and I let out a satisfied sigh as I got into bed, having just blow-dried my hair into its current silky, smooth state. It was a bit late to be doing it, but it was worth it. Not only was my hair now pleasantly soft to the touch, drying it now rather than leaving it overnight meant I didn’t run the risk of possibly catching a cold.

I couldn’t let that happen. I refused to let myself get sick in the six days before my next date with Finn. The third one had to be  _perfect_.

Tired after a long day of activity and emotions all over the place, I got comfortable and closed my eyes to go to sleep.


	13. Millstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.’ Mark 9:42

_ After a brief hunt for a midnight snack - the voids downtown were particularly choice this evening - I made my way back to Teagan's house. _

_ Something feels... off. _

_ There was one - no,  _ **_two_ ** _ featherheads nearby. If I couldn't already tell by their auras that it was happy-go-lucky Bayley (careful around her, she's a hugger) and that sanctimonious prick AJ Styles, I sure as hell would have recognized their voices. _

_ My suspicions were confirmed when they came into view. On the right stood a young woman with her dark brown hair tied up into a side ponytail accompanied by a perpetual hairband, and dressed in a sleeveless top and trouser ensemble so colourful it looked like she’d joined the circus or was a mascot for a cereal come to life. On the left stood a dark-haired bearded man, shirtless, save for his dark vest and trousers and blue sports gloves. He also had the stupidest hairstyle known to man. He looked like a soccer mom, through and through. _

_ I gritted my teeth when I saw how nearby they actually were. _

_ They stood right outside of Teagan's house. Near a cracked fucking window. _

_ Idiots. _

***

People were standing outside my house…

I was currently in that fragile state between awake and asleep, where one hears or sees things that aren’t there, so I had no way of knowing if what was being said was real or not, but either way, it was distracting. I just wanted to sleep, not have to listen to them...

“ _ I’ll give that son of a bitch credit, he’s good. He’s real good. _ ” A man with a southern accent drawled.

“ _ What do you mean, Mr. Styles? _ ” A woman’s voice, younger and sweeter, responded back.

“ _ Don’t you see, newbie? Everything’s workin’ in his favour now. He owns the place, and now he’s isolated her from anyone who might have somethin’ bad to say about him. Granted, the people in her life weren’t all that great to begin with, but they were still a second opinion. Now who does she have? No one! Might as well kiss her soul goodbye because she’s as good as demon chow. _ ”

“ _ I don’t believe that. I know him and he wouldn’t do that. He’s nice and fair. He’s not mean or bad to innocent people like some of the others are. _ ”

There was a scoff. “ _ He’s a  _ **_demon!_ ** _ And not just any demon, but the biggest, baddest one of the whole damn lot of ‘em. Even worse, if you ask me, because, unlike the rest of the filthy soul-sucking leeches, he became one willingly. _ ”

“ _ I heard- _ ”

“ _ Who was around before The Fall? Because last time I checked, it was me, not you, newbie. _ ” The man interrupted. “ _ Makes me sick seeing ya next generation angels fraternizing with the enemy and makin’ excuses for them. Now you’re even marryin’ them.  _ **_Marryin’ them!_ ** ”

“ _ Demons serve just as much as a purpose as angels, Mr. Styles. _ ” The woman protested. “ _ I’m not saying I agree or like what they do, but they deal with the bad souls, don’t they? If they didn’t, all those evil humans would be hurting the good ones! And besides, we new angels like it this way, we don’t want a war, we want peace. I wish we could all be friends, like Dean Ambrose and Renee Young. _ ”

“ _ The day that happens is the day I Fall. Which will be fucking never! _ ”

“ _ Ar-Are you sure this is about the girl? Because I heard Shane McMahon telling Daniel Bryan that you hate him because you’re jealous. And, _ ” the woman’s voice became more confident. “ _ If you hate demons so much how come you’re friends with two of them? _ ”

“ _ I am  _ **_NOT_ ** _ jealous. How dare you even suggest that! I know who’s the superior being between me and ‘Mr. Nine Pack of Abs HOOT’, and it’s me! AJ Styles, the  _ **_Phenomenal One!_ ** _ Alway have been, always will be. That Irish prick just got lucky. And, for your information, newbie, I am not friends with Anderson and Gallows. Those two annoying fatboys just won’t leave me alone! _ ” His voice seemed to hint this might not be altogether true.

“ _ And you can defend him all you want, but I agree with Reigns, he’s up to something and he’s up to something bad. _ ”

“ _ Bu-But, how can that be? He hasn’t tempted her into sinning. He’s just spending time with her and helping her. Her soul hasn’t darkened, it’s gotten brighter! Maybe he cares about her? _ ”

“ _ Pffft! Don’t be ridiculous! Demons don’t care about anyone but themselves. They don’t even know the meaning of the word love. They just get obsessed with something they want and mistake it for that. Then they eat it or break it and make it as ugly as them. Now, I don’t know what Bálor’s up to, but I know it ain’t good. He’s going to hurt that poor girl, mark my words, and when he does, you’re gonna be feeling real stupid for stickin’ up for him. _ ”

“ _ Well… _ ” The girl sounded unsure now. “ _ If what you’re saying is true, I’m sure if we just ask him really nicely, maybe he’ll change his mind? _ ”

“ _ Why don’t you go hug him, newbie, I’ll sure that’ll fix everything. _ ” The man sneered. “ _ And, hell, go frolic in a meadow somewhere and sing kumbaya while you’re at it, that’ll sure show that nasty ol’ demon what’s what. _ ”

“ _ You know, Mr. Styles, I like you, but you’re kind of mean. _ ”

“ _ Think what you what, but you need to open your eyes and smell the roses, girl. Demons are evil, through and through, and our enemies! As far as I’m concerned, the best thing that could happen for this world is they all just disappeared for good! _ ” 

I blinked, my sleep-addled brain still not entirely one hundred percent awake. The voices outside, while coherent at first, had long since become unintelligible background noise to me. Not as disruptive, but still distracting. 

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and to go back to sleep.

***

_ That trumpet-mouth bastard. _

_ Had I arrived a minute later, Teagan would have heard more than any human needed to know about our world. Whether she believed it or not, the last thing this needed was questions about what she wasn't prepared to handle or accept. _

_ Fortunately, an aural-dampening spell (an especially useful trick Regal taught me in my early days) allowed her to sleep peacefully and turned down loud noise to a dull roar. _

_ It also allowed me the freedom to pop outside and blindside that arrogant fool Styles with a donkey punch to his smug face. _

_ While he went sailing half a block down, I look to my right. “Evenin’, Bayley. You two don't watch your surroundings much, do you?” _

_ “Finn!” I'm okay with Bayley's hugs - she's nice. I might be a demon, but I still appreciate genuinely nice people. _

_ And I'll still punch an asshole in the face. _

_ I pointed towards Teagan's window. “Did you know that your little conversation could have reached her ears and given the both of you away? The hell were you thinking?” With Bayley I could be firm and reasonable. A new bird in the flock, she was the type you wanted to hate, but couldn't because she was too damn likable. _

_ “We didn't realize, Finn. Mr. Styles was just so worked up. I'm pretty sure he's jealous of you.” _

_ “He is,” I said simply. _

_ “Am not, you jackhole!” AJ puffed his chest as he came back to his spot, and had the gall to poke me in the chest. “Now you listen here. We know you're up to somethin’ with this girl-” _

_ “'Cause you demons are all the same, filthy bastards, blah blah blah’,” I mockingly finished. “You don't know what I'm up to, so take your head from your ass and stay out of my business.” _

_ “What Mr. Styles means, I think, is that he's worried that an incorruptible soul is going to be eaten, which is against the rules.” _

_ “I know what Styles is worried about: being second fiddle at everything he does.” I smirked. _

_ “You don't want none of this, ya demonic prick!” He puffed up even more, the fucking peacock. _

_ “Mr. Styles! I'm sorry about this, Finn,” Bayley apologized as she restrained her meathead superior. _

_ Looking at both of them, I state plainly and without falsehood, “Teagan is in no danger with me. I'm not looking to devour her soul.” _

_ Bayley looked relieved. “Thank you, Finn.” _

_ AJ looked ready to protest, so I punched him again. Just because it felt good. _

_ “Now, find a new perch to gossip on, will you? You're loud enough to wake the fucking dead.” I shooed them off like the birds they were. _

_ Bayley waved as she dragged a complaining AJ from the scene, and they disappeared into the night. _

_ Angels. Not worth the feathers they molt. _

_ Well,  _ **_most_ ** _ of them anyway. _

_ Returning to Teagan's room, I watched her sleeping. Curious to what she's dreaming about tonight, I touch a finger to her temple and peer inside. _

***

Though I hadn’t understood a word those two people said, my subconscious must have picked up on something because, when I finally did fall asleep, it triggered a nightmare. A flashback to a time when I was thirteen going on fourteen, that fragile age where I was transitioning from childhood into womanhood.

My teen years were painful, even more so than my childhood. Whereas before I was just a burden that my mother felt she needed to train into a well-behaved, submissive - and above all else  _ quiet _ \- child, now I was a ticking time bomb of sin waiting to go off any minute.

I suppose she wasn’t without her reasons. Puberty changed me in more ways than others. Growing up, I wasn’t a cute child. I should have and could have been if I’d had a different upbringing, but I wasn’t. I was a skinny thing, jumpy like a rabbit, and I barely talked.

There’s no other way to say it, I was an ugly duckling.

However, come my pre-teen years, that changed. I didn’t grow up into a swan, but I did become a very pretty looking duck. The traits that turned people off me as a child - my shyness, my wide-eyed look, etc. - was working in my favor. Suddenly, boys who had never given me the time of day were smiling at me, flirting with me.

My mother was quick to put her foot down on that. Unlike the other girls, I wasn’t allowed to experiment with makeup because that would make me a whore. I wasn’t allowed to show any skin, because then I’d be a temptress. And I wasn’t allowed to go out and hang out with my peers, because then I’d be a wild child, living a life of debauchery. You get the picture. The worse thing was that there was no way of rebelling. My mother and father’s friends were  _ everywhere _ in town. If I so much as did something they wouldn’t approve of, you can bet they’d know about it by the time I returned home.

Here’s a scary fact about my mother, by the way: You’d never see her coming. She’d be all smiles while out in public, or keep a poker-face at home, but the second you let your guard down and you thought everything was fine,  _ BAM _ , she’d strike. And she’d make you pay.

This particular nightmare was centered around such a memory. A truly awful one that rivaled ‘Mother’s Lessons’, in how bad it was…

In the dream, I’m making my way back home after doing some errands for my parents. It’s evening, and I’m hating every second of it. Half because the route back to my house is like something out of a horror movie. You have to pass this long, solitary field and then there’s this alleyway which looks positively nightmarish come the night time. The fact that a man was once mugged there and a woman raped made it worse. 

The other reason was because I was struggling to carry four heavy bags, packed to the brim with stuff that required two people, not one. The journey back, which SHOULD have taken twenty minutes, is turning into an hour because my arms are aching and walking is proving difficult when you’re trying to make sure the plastic bag handles don’t snap under the weight.

Just my luck, it  _ still _ happened.

And worst of all? It was the bag containing my father’s whiskey.

I stood there, staring off into space. I didn’t know what to do in that moment. All I knew was that my father would be upset when he found out. Whiskey didn’t come cheap and my father went for the expensive kind that costs round $30 or more.

Flexing my red and raw fingers, I bent down to pack the contents of the fourth bag into the other three and resume my journey home.

***

_ She was too young to shoulder such burdens. And what business did he have sending a child to retrieve so much? They should have been there to help! _

_ He should have gotten his own damn whiskey. _

_ Looks like it's time for me to step in… _

***

Three bags should be easier to handle than four. This is basic physics.

Of course, this flies out the window when the contents of the fourth - minus one whiskey bottle - have to be packed into the third. Then it’s  _ still _ just as hard on the hands to hold and carry.

I know that, once I get home, I’ll be told this is my fault. I wasn’t careful enough, or I didn’t pack them so the weight was distributed evenly. It certainly wasn’t to do with the fact that they were so stingy they wouldn’t pay the 5 cents for extra bags so I could double them.

I heard footsteps approaching from behind me.

***

_ I had to take care not to startle her. So my approach was just like any friendly, concerned citizen (read: human beings with an ounce of compassion and a shred of decency). _

_ “Hey,” I greeted as I stopped alongside her. “You having trouble, lass?” _

***

Jumping, I turned to face the stranger. “N-No, no, I’m fine! Thank you.”

It was a bold-faced lie and the broken glass of whiskey lying on the ground next to the ripped shopping bag exposed this, but what could I do? I was not allowed to talk to strangers, especially the boyishly attractive kind with lovely blue eyes like this one.  

Picking up the three bags - two in one hand, one in the other - I trudged away.

Embarrassingly, I only managed a few steps before I had to put them down again. Much as I wanted to carry on, my fingers really were aching, the plastic handles now leaving indents on my red skin.

***

_ I could see the reddening marks where the heavy bags were doing damage on her hands. This couldn't go on. _

_ “Do you have much farther to go? I can carry these the rest of the way for you,” I offered. _

***

“Erm…”

I actually didn’t have much further. Once I was out of this alleyway, I just had to walk down one more road, then I’d reached the suburban street my parents and I lived on (our house was the one right at the end).

This man helping me was tempting. The weather was cold and my school uniform, while covering up everything, wasn’t exactly keeping me warm. I’d be able to get home quicker.

“Thank you, that’s very kind, but, erm…” I looked around me nervously, trying to see if anyone else was around but us. There wasn’t, but you could never know. “I...I’m not supposed to talk to strangers...”

***

_ I knew it was a bit scary for her, talking to someone she'd never met. But I couldn't leave her to this insanity either. _

_ “Well then, let's be friends,” I smiled. “My name is Finn. I'm new here from Ireland, and you look like you could use help with your groceries. I'd be happy to assist. And your name?” _

***

_ Okay, don’t panic, you can make this work. He just wants to help you, and it would make things easier. You just need to get home without anyone seeing you with him... _

“Teagan.” I said curtly, looking more like a mouse trapped in the gaze of a snake then a girl conversing with a good Samaritan. It wasn’t his fault; I was just on edge, frightened my parents would find out. There’s no way they could, but they had their ways.

Picking up one bag, I left the other two to Finn. “Thank you, you really don’t have to.”

We started to walk ahead and I found myself grateful I had someone with me. It was Winter, that time of the year when it got darker earlier. It was only 4PM, yet you would have thought it 8PM, it was so dark. The fact that there weren’t many street lamps made the journey into town and back all the worse. I hadn’t wanted to go, having just got back from school, but there’s no way I could disobey my parents.

***

_ I walked with her as the sun set, and it was good that I did. Inside, I fumed over her parents and their despicable negligence. Whenever someone asks the question, “Who does that to a child?” I would point them in the direction of these repulsive beings. _

_ But Teagan needed comfort, needed to know this wasn't a mistake. “Teagan - that's a lovely name,” I said kindly. “Thanks for letting me help you. I know it wasn't easy.” _

***

“...Thank you.” I responded. And then, feeling I needed to compliment him in return, I said, “You have nice eyes.”

_ Was that inappropriate? Too forward? _

We exited the alleyway and turned left to walk down the road. I’d intended to not speak unless spoken to, as I was raised, but then I remembered how he’d said he was new here. Which worried me, because the last thing I wanted was to potentially run into this man again, only this time with my mother, and for him to recognize me.

“You, erm, you said you’re new here. Are you just visiting or are you staying permanently, Mr. Finn?”

***

_ “Just visiting,” I replied, adding with a smile, “Came to see a friend.” _

_ I wanted to put her at ease, as the closer we came to her home, the more tense she became. She had to be worried about her parents seeing me. _

_ “And thank you for the kind compliment - you have nice eyes as well.” _

***

I felt myself relax a little.  _ Good. _

_...Wait, how long is he visiting for? What if it’s a week or a month? _

I was about to ask him when he complimented me on my eyes. I blinked, unsure quite how to respond. I didn’t receive compliments, well, ever. Drake Pearson did tell me ‘You’ve got a nice set of tits on you’”, but that didn’t really feel like much of a complement to me. All that had done was leave me feeling like a piece of meat. Not nice inside, like Finn’s did.

“I do? Th-Thank you…”

A crossing was up ahead. Once pass that, I just had to turn right and I’d reach the suburb where my home was.

“Stop, this is fine.” I told him, maybe a little forcefully than intended, but I couldn’t run the risk of going any further and been spotted. “Thank you for your help, Mr. Finn, I’ll be able to get home from here.” 

And then, “Listen, I have a weird favor to ask you. Erm, I don’t know how long you’re staying for, but, IF we run into each other again, could you...could you just pretend you don’t know me, please?”

I feared I might have offended him, that he would think I didn’t want anything to do with him. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. “It’s-it’s just, my parents are really strict and I’m not allowed to talk to anyone unless they say so. If they see that you know me, they’re...they’re going to jump to conclusions and get mad…”

***

_ “Whoa, slow down lass,” I beckoned. “I understand what you mean, and I'm not offended. It's just...your parents seem pretty hard on you. I'd hate to leave you not knowing if you'll be alright.” _

_ I looked out where she looked towards home. “I'm going with you the whole way. You have nothing to fear with me. If they get mad, they can get mad at me. But I won't let them do anything to hurt you, Teagan. I'm not afraid. You won't have to be either.” _

***

My eyes widened. _Oh God, what have I done? I’ve made things worse!_ _I’ve got to do something about this!_

“No, you can’t!” I protested, and I took a step back and another after that. “I won’t let you! You’re going to get me in trouble! Yo-You’re going to my parents in trouble, too! People are going to see and they’re going to talk and then my mother’s going to hate me!!”

The more panicked I became, the more I couldn’t stop myself from running my mouth off. “My parents aren’t bad people, you now! They love me you! I know it might not seem that way, but they do because they’re my parents and parents always love their kids! And-and if they’re hard on me it’s because I deserve it! My mother and father want me to be a good and I’m trying really hard, but I mess up a lot. It’s my fault, not theirs! They’re just disciplining me, that’s all - ask any of the grownups around here, they’ll tell you the same! So-So, don’t okay? Just leave me alone or I’m going to scream!”

Grabbing the shopping bags, I turned to Finn and said, “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Ju-Just forget about meeting me, okay? You see me, just ignore me.  _ Please! _ ”

And with that, I turned on my heel and ran away. I prayed he’d listen and wouldn’t follow.

***

_ No child should be  _ **_this_ ** _ afraid of their parents. And yeah, this was a bad memory. But it was also a dream. One she could change the outcome to, at that. _

_ I followed, unseen. I wasn't leaving her to face this alone. _

***

When I finally got home, I was unable to relax. Despite averting a huge crisis, I felt as if my troubles were far from over. That any minute now that man was going to ring the doorbell, having followed me home. 

“You took an awfully long time tonight.” My mother’s curt voice broke through the strained silence. She was in the kitchen, doing the washing up.

I looked up from a book I was reading for school (that and the Bible was all I was ever allowed to read. Unbeknownst to them, however, I had ‘Satanic books’ like Twilight and the Lion the Witch and Wardrobe hidden under my bedroom floorboards which I secretly read at night). “The bags were really heavy, I had to keep stopping to take a rest.”

“That’s no excuse. When your father and I send you out on an errand, we expect you to be punctual.” Then a sigh. “Yet again, you disappoint us.”

“...I’m sorry…”

If my overriding memory of my mother is her slapping me, then I’m sure my mother’s memory of me is hearing “I’m sorry”. I said those words so much they lost all meaning, but it was the only way I knew how to make things better. After all, didn’t it say in the Bible that if you say you're sorry and mean it, you’ll be forgiven?

So, that’s what I did. I kept apologizing.

_ “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” _

“ _ I’m sorry, I’ll try harder next time. _ ”

“ _ I’m sorry I keep letting you down. _ ”

But, no matter how many times I apologized...it never seemed to make things better. I figured I wasn’t doing a good enough job.

“You’re always sorry” was my mother’s bitter reply.

I was about to retire to my room - the atmosphere downstairs was too uncomfortable - when my father’s voice, loud and obtrusive, interrupted. “Where the hell is my bottle of whiskey? I asked you to buy me some!”

I froze, mid-step, and tried to think up a way to tell my father the truth without him getting too mad at me. I quickly realized that wasn’t happening.

“I did, bu-but the handle split and it smashed. I-I’m really sorry...”

***

_ I seethed with rage I hadn't felt in years. _

_ Silently I watched, invisible, from a corner of the living room as Teagan endured verbal and physical abuse. First from her mother, then her father as he raged about his god-damned whiskey. _

_ This isn't a family. _

_ This isn't love. _

_ This isn't a life. _

_ Yet Teagan the incorruptible, Teagan the compassionate, Teagan the humble lived with this every day since birth. _

_ Where were those fucking angels when this was going on? _

_ I was incensed. _

_ And then I saw her father raise an open palm to swing. _

**_Not. Happening._ **

_ I stood behind him, with an iron grip on his wrist before he could even blink. _

***

It came as no surprise that my father reacted violently to the news that I’d lost him his whiskey.

What did come as a surprise was when he didn’t strike me in a moment of anger.

I blinked, hopeful, as he stood there, palm still raised but not acting. My father seemed to be struggling with himself. Was he showing mercy for the first time?

My mother stood by, unimpressed. “George...exactly what are you doing?”

“I-I don’t know, Abigail. I want to hit her, but I can’t! My hand, it won’t come down when I try to move it. I think it’s stuck!” My father said through gritted teeth.

My mother rolled her eyes and then, in a tone laced with derision, “ _ Sit down _ .”

I breathed a sigh of relief as my father, humiliated, obeyed her, returning to the couch while staring at his hand with a look of confusion. It seemed I’d been given a reprieve. I could escape to my room and hide there for the rest of the night-

“I know you’re lying, Teagan.” My mother said all of a sudden.

I stared at her, having no idea what she was talking about. “No, I’m not.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t lie to me. Now, you tell me what really happened. Confess!”

“I’m not ly-”

_ Slap. _ Before I could even blink, my mother’s hand shot out and whacked me across the cheek. Hard enough that it hurt something awful. “You dare to lie to me?  _ Me?! _ Your own mother who brought you into this world? Tell the truth! You tell your father what really happened with his bottle of whiskey!”

My hand against the spot she’d slapped, and trying to stop the tears from coming to my eyes, I replied, “I-I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m telling you the truth. I swear!”

“What do you mean what really happened with my bottle of whiskey? Abigail, what’s going on?” My father demanded. My heart sank. I thought the situation was bad before, but it looked as if it was about to get a hundred times worse.

My mother crossed her arms. “Dorris called me a few minutes before you returned, Teagan. Said she saw you out cavorting with an older man.”

My eyes widened. The very thing I feared would happen had happened. “It’s not what you think!” I protested. “His name was Finn, and he was just helping me with the bags-” 

_ Slap, slap. _ “Don’t interrupt me! So, after that, I called up Mr. Peterson at the convenience store. Asked him if he’d sold you the whiskey your father asked for. He said he had. So, you had the whiskey when you left, and yet, suddenly, it mysteriously goes missing after you meet this man? Do you think me a fool, Teagan?  _ Do you think I don’t know what you’ve done?! _ ”

Suddenly my mother’s hand was flying in the air, hitting me repeatedly across the face. “Deceitful slut! I know what you did! You took that whiskey and you drank it with that man! I can smell it on your hands! And then you dare to look me in the eye and lie to me! Shameless Jezebel! I can barely stand to look at you! How many times do I have to keep punishing you!? When will you learn and start behaving like a proper woman! Oh, I knew this would happen! I knew the second you started bleeding and those breasts came that you’d be trouble for me and I was right! You’re already throwing yourself at men and stealing and lying and embarrassing me in front of my friends and neighbors!”

“Wait, Abigail, are you telling me she took my whiskey that I paid for with my hard-earned money and drank it all away with some man?  _ That lying, little bitch! _ She can’t get away with this, you hear me? She needs to be taught a lesson!”

“Oh, don’t worry, George, this won’t be happening again. That I’ll make sure of.”

The slapping came to a stop, though this was less mercy on my mother’s part and simply because her ranting had come to an end. If I was smart, I’d make a run for it, but, like a scared dog that lies over and bares itself, I thought cowering and apologizing would placate my parents.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please, I didn’t do anything, I was good. He-he wanted to come back here, but I told him not to, I ran away. Please believe me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” One side of my face was now red, throbbing, and my lip split and bleeding.

A metallic sound then reached my eyes and made my blood run cold.  _ Oh God no... _

“Book of Proverbs, 22:15.” Came my mother’s cold voice as she stood above me. In her hand was a worn out leather belt, the buckle swinging ominously. “Which is, Teagan?”

“‘ _ Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child… _ ’” I whispered, face pale.

My mother raised her arm. “ _ but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” _

She brought it down on me, the buckle lashing against my back. I screamed out in agony and covered my head with my arms.

“Please stop! It hurts!” I sobbed as the buckle and leather relentlessly rained down all over my body. “Please stop! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

***

_ My vision was filled with blood-red ire. The next time the buckle went up, I seized it and wrenched it out of her hands. Wrapping the leather around my palm twice, I decided to show this cruel hag how the metal feels when it's her back being ravaged. _

_ Once. Twice. Three times. _

_ She screamed and the dad looked around frantically, searching for the cause, and he took the swing of the buckle to his face. _

_ I reemerged and went to Teagan's side. She was still kneeling and hiding her face, crying and scared and in pain. I turned back on the terrified parents, who gawked at me incredulously. _

_ “You're not allowed another drop of venom from your evil mouths,” I growled as I shoved them back against the wall and pinned then there, mouths forced shut. _

_ My attention returned to the terrified girl on the ground, shivering and refusing to look up. My voice gentled. “Teagan, look at me? Let me see you.” _

***

The whole time my mother had lashed me with the belt and buckle, I’d prayed to God to do something. Save me by having my apology reach my mother’s ears. Or maybe instill a sense of mercy in my parents, or, better yet, make them see that I was telling the truth. He was God, after all. He could easily do it, right?

Well, miraculously, my prayers were heard.

But it wasn’t Heaven who answered them. It certainly wasn’t an angel.

The beating stopped, not that it ended the pain. I heard my mother cry out repeatedly in the same hitch-pitched wail I had done. I heard my father swear as the buckle collided right against his skin. I heard the two of them bashed up against the wall and their legs kicking back and forth against the plaster.

I heard a familiar voice - Mr. Finn? - tinged with darkness, growling at them. Then addressing me in a gentler tone.

Short, sobbing gasps still coming from me, I reluctantly lowered my arms and, with a tear-stained, swollen and slightly bloody face, looked up at him.  

As I guessed, it was Mr. Finn...however he looked different. My breath hitched when I saw that his once cool blue eyes now glowed a blood red, whilst his teeth now resembled fangs.

Heaven definitely hadn’t come to my rescue.  _ Hell had. _

“You’re not human…” I said. It wasn’t so much a question as a statement.

My eyes fell on my parents and I balked at the sight of them struggling, wild-eyed and lips quivering violently. They were looking at me with accusing stares that screamed, “ _ This is all your fault! _ ”, and it was looking like they were right. 

I would have run then if it were possible. But I couldn’t, the belt buckle had cut into various parts of my body and the pain was too much. The best I could manage was to crawl backwards, away from Finn, though I had to admit defeat soon after when I reached the corner and found I couldn’t move any longer.

“You followed me home.” I said weakly. “Ar-Are you doing this because I-I didn’t let you come with me like you wanted to? Ar-Are you going to kill them? Please don’t! I’m sorry!”

I broke down into fresh sobs. “ _ I-I shouldn’t have broken the whiskey! _ ”

It was all my fault. I’d set off a chain reaction that had led to this. If I hadn’t let the bag break and broken the whiskey none of this would have happened, I was sure of it.

***

_ Unsurprisingly, the sight of my red eyes threw Teagan into a fit of hysterics. Definitely not the first time I've seen it, certainly not the last. _

_ This isn't even my final form...I can only imagine what  _ **_that_ ** _ would do to her. _

_ I needed her calm and collected. So I shifted back to human features, turning red eyes back to blue. Then I did something rare, even for me. I reached out for her shoulder. She recoiled as if trying to push through the wall, but I continued with caution. Once I made contact, I softly whispered an incantation that sealed the places where skin had split open and eased the pain where blows had landed. _

_ I looked down, in effort to humble myself before her. “I didn't do any of this because of anything you did. You are blameless. I did this because no parent should make their child this afraid. No parent would put so much on their child and then beat them within an inch of their lives if they fall short, then claim that they love you. This isn't love, Teagan. It's abuse.” _

_ I raised my eyes to her young, scared self. “And you didn't deserve any of this. The only wrong here is that you were born to horrible people who couldn't love you the way you deserved, so they tried to control you instead. But this isn't what you were meant for, lovely. You needed so much more. You deserved so much better.” _

_ My head lowered again in humility. She needed to see that I meant no harm to her, that she was safe. _

_ Of course, I also expected her to run away after healing her, which was equally understandable. _

***

I inspected my body, marveling at how the wounds that had been there previously were now completely gone, as if they’d never existed. Even the pain was but a dull memory. I had thought such a healing power was only possible for angels, certainly not a demon...yet here I was now, as good as new.

...Well, physically. Mentally, I was still reeling.

I tried to process Mr. Finn’s words.  _ Abuse? He thinks they’re abusing me? Oh no, no, no! He’s got it all wrong. _

“It’s not abuse.” I said, shaking my head. “They’re just punishing me. I-I deserve it, I messed up. You heard the quote, right? It’s from the Bible, and since the Bible is God’s word, that means it’s okay for them to do that.”

“I broke the whiskey.” I know I must sound like a broken record, but I couldn’t stress enough how big the series of mistakes I’d made today were. “And I talked to you even though I wasn’t supposed to. And I let myself be seen with you. And-and I’m just bad. I’m trying really hard to be good, but my mother says I was born this way. That’s why they’re so hard on me, because if they’re not, I’m always going to be bad.”

“What are you going to do now?” I asked. The demon wasn’t going to hurt me, this I knew, but I couldn’t be so sure about my parents...

***

_ “Teagan,” I began carefully. “I know the Bible. Every demon knows it cover to cover, far better than your parents. It speaks of discipline, yes. But the kind of discipline that takes time and patience and explanation so they understand why. A quick tap on the rear is one thing. Leaving bruises and making you bleed? Forcing you into isolation? Screaming at you for things they have all capability of doing themselves? That's not godly discipline. You're not a bad girl. You never were.” _

_ I looked at them. “But your parents? Using faith to justify their abuse because they don't know how to love you? That's a sin that isn't in their precious book. Oh wait… ‘ _ **_Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea._ ** _ ’ Mark 9:42, correct? They caused you to hide your true self, technically a falsehood in the eyes of God because he didn't create his children to hide themselves, but to shine before all. You two  _ **_bastards_ ** _ ,” I pointed at both parents with flaming eyes, “have a millstone and more coming to you after this life, and  _ **_I'll_ ** _ be the one to adorn you with it and toss you into the sea. Make no mistake!” _

_ I turn back to Teagan with blue eyes. “And you? You have been hidden long enough. It's time to become who you're meant to be. _

***

“But...But I don’t know who the real me is.” I confessed. “My parents tell me what to like and what to do. I’ve grown up doing nothing but reading the Bible and praying and-and being punished for something bad I did. I mean, I…” My eyes fell on my parents before I said, in a whisper, “I like Harry Potter and Twilight, even though I’m not supposed to. Does that count, Mr. Finn?”

***

_ I smiled. “It's a good start, I'd say. Those things make you happy, so explore them. Find out what else makes you happy, or sad, or excited - find what makes you feel alive in any way. But make sure that it's what  _ **_you_ ** _ want, not what they want for you. Teagan, you're meant for great things, and you have so much to offer.” _

_ *** _

_ Nobody's ever told me that before…  _ I thought, staring at Mr. Finn with wide-eyed wonder. There was a part of me that warned not to heed the words of a demon, that they’d say anything to get you on their side. That, ultimately, they would only hurt you in the long run.

But, I didn’t sense any falsehood in Mr. Finn. He seemed so sincere and he’d stepped in and saved me when he really didn’t have to. That didn’t seem like the actions of an evil being.

I looked at my parents, still at the demon’s mercy. I still couldn’t quite bring myself to accept Finn’s words about them being abusive. They were doing it for my own good, they did it because they cared too much about me. I’m sure he’d see that once he had a chance to get to know them. 

A part of me, worried he’d start torturing them any minute now, placed a hand on his sleeve. “Erm, Mr. Finn, could you please let my parents go? I don’t want anyone to get hurt, I just want this to be over.”

And then, gulping my fears down, I said, “If…If you do, I’ll join you. ...E-Even if that means having to go to Hell… Just, please…”

In stark contrast to my utter fear of him minutes ago, I drew closer to Mr. Finn and wrapped my arms around him from behind, my forehead resting against his back.

*** 

_ Oh, Teagan… _

_ I raised a hand to touch one of her slender forearms. “‘ _ **_There is no greater love than this: that he lay down his life for another,_ ** _ '” I quoted. “You truly are a special girl, Teagan. So willing to give of yourself, even for those who couldn't care less. God himself would be proud.” _

_ Pulling her to face me, I said, “For you, I will spare them. But...are you so certain you want to follow me? I would never hurt you, and I will not let anyone else harm a hair on your head. It's a frightening place for one so young. So I must ask: is that what you want?” _

***

I hesitated.

I didn’t  _ want _ to go to Hell. Since I was old enough to know what the word meant, I’d been terrified of the place. It was a prison where your soul was tortured and tormented for all eternity. How could I not be?

_ But...if Mr. Finn’s there with me, maybe it won’t be so bad? _ I thought hopefully.

“Well… You told me just now to find out what makes me happy and  _ you _ make me happy...probably for the first time in my life…”

I sounded like I was being over dramatic, but I really wasn’t. If you were to ask me what or who had ignited a feeling of happiness and acceptance in me up until now, I wouldn’t be able to list a thing. My childhood had been so lonely, so frightening, so bleak.

“How… How frightening? Am I going to have to see and hear people being hurt?” I asked. “And will I be there forever? Or can I, like, come back to Earth and visit?”

***

_ I raised up to meet her at eye level and replied sincerely, “You'll be under my protection, and I'll shield you from that as you wish. And you can visit Earth as much as you wish. I travel back and forth, and I get to see the world. So you can travel with me. But, I say again, it's your choice.” _

***

My eyes lit up at the mention of getting to see the world. Travelling with Mr. Finn, discovering new things, new likes and dislikes… It sounded wonderful. Add in how I’d be safe in Hell and wouldn’t have to have anything to do with the unpleasantness there, then what was holding me back here?

_ Oh, right. Heaven. _

Every human wanted to go to Heaven. It was a place of everlasting bliss, after all. If I were to go join Mr. Finn, then I'd probably be forfeiting my right to ever go there, as I'd be choosing Hell willingly.

I bit my lip. I'd prayed so many times, did everything I was supposed to, and not once did I ever receive a sign that God was listening or Heaven truly existed. And, in my time of need, it was a demon who came to me, not an angel. I couldn't help but be bitter, nor could I help having my already weakened faith grow all the more weaker.

So, that really left one last question.

“You mean it when you say you won't hurt me? This really isn't some trick and you're just waiting till we get there to eat me or torture me? Or you'll get bored of me or change your mind later and tell me I'm on my own or…!”

I started to panic. Life sucked right now, but it was temporary. But if I chose to go with Finn and things turned bad, it'd be like that  _ forever. _ The thought alone was enough to make me want to curl up into a ball.

***

_ “Breathe, lass. Breathe,” I instructed with a chuckle before becoming solemn. “You have my word. That may not mean very much to you because of what I am. I might fail sometimes. But, and this is important for you to remember always, Teagan,” I stressed to her. “I will spend everyday making sure you are safe and happy, whatever that means to you. That is my promise to you.” _

_ I rose to my feet and extended a hand to her, as if to ask, “Are you in?” _

***

I drew my hand out halfway...paused as I thought over one last time if this was what I really wanted...and then I accepted his hand.

_ No going back now. _

Exhaling, I turned to my parents, who were still pinned to the wall, still unable to speak. Probably a good thing, otherwise they’d be screaming abuse at me right now for proving them right and throwing away my faith and making a deal with a demon. Even if it was mainly to spare them, it was still unforgivable.

Maybe it was, but it didn’t really matter. According to them, I was always going to go to Hell. At least this way, I’d get a good deal out of it.

“Goodbye, Mother. Father.” I said. “I’m going to go now. You probably won’t see me again, but that’s a good thing, right? I won’t be a problem to you anymore, and I’ll be where I belong now.” And then, more to convince myself than them, “I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not..and, I’m tired of doing all the things I’m supposed to and still being unhappy. Forgive me. I could never be as good as you were.”

“...I love you both. Have happy lives, okay?”

I then turned back to the demon, my grip on his hand tighter due to nerves. “Okay, I’m ready, Mr. Finn.”

***

_ It’s amazing how resilient Teagan is - how is it that she doesn't recognize her strength? _

_ Right. Her parents tried to beat it out of her. _

_ “Your parents will be released as soon as we walk out the front door. They can't hurt you anymore, lass.” I gave her my word to leave them unharmed, albeit begrudgingly as they didn't deserve mercy. _

_ They didn't deserve Teagan. _

_ Good thing this is a dream, I considered. But as we walked out hand in hand, I couldn't help but wonder: why would anyone choose Hell under any circumstance, especially when it was never on the table as an option? Was she so willing to give herself up for someone she loved, in the face of giving up her freedom? _

_ It gave me pause as I considered the choice I made. Are Teagan and I really so different? _

***

As we walked, hand in hand, out the door and away from the house, I glanced back at it, taking one last look at my home.

Strange. I didn’t feel sad in anyway. To leave my parents, or the fate I’d chosen. I  _ should _ . There were millions and millions of people who’d tell me what a big mistake I was making. How joining a demon was quite literally the worst thing someone could ever do and now that meant I was just as bad as him.

It didn’t feel that way. I felt less like a female Dr. Faustus who was damning themselves, and more like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, silly as that sounded. It wasn’t a great situation and I was doing it mainly to save my parents, but...the demon wasn’t bad and a whole new world was opening up to me, a world that I wouldn’t have had if I’d stayed.

And hey, look on the bright side: Instead of him rubbing off on me, maybe I’ll rub off on him?

“Thanks for saving me.” I said to Mr. Finn once we reached the alleyway I’d met him earlier. “Erm, why did you, though? I’ve always being told that demons are evil and live to make humans suffer and all…”

*** 

_ I studied her with curiosity. Such an inquisitive child, wide-eyed and innocent, force-fed so many lies. _

_ “Yes, there are some who are evil; that's how they got to Hell in the first place. However we focus only on the truly bad people in the world, lass. There is an awful lot of them who make people suffer on Earth every day. Those are who we punish. We help test the good, within reason. But never to extremes. And certainly not to young, growing, curious children like yourself,” I added as I lightly tapped her nose. _

***

I smiled, though it faltered as his words sunk in a little. “I...I guess I failed my test, huh? I was tempted and I took it.”

“But, you know, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Not if you’re doing it for good reasons. I mean, the fact that I’m getting something good out of it doesn’t change anything. If you’d said I was going to have to spend the rest of eternity getting punished or, I don’t know, something equally as bad, I still would have done it, because the reason why I’m doing it is still the same.”

“I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to explain. My mind isn’t working like it should.” We walked past a sign and I blinked, confused, when I saw the letters on it were a jumbled mess. I looked away, looked back it remained the same.

***

_ “You haven't failed at all,” I assured. “In fact, you have far exceeded my expectations. And you managed to surprise me as well. I didn't even suggest that you should go with me to save your parents. Yet you did. Those aren't the actions of a failure. You fascinate me, Teagan. And now...it’s almost time to awaken.” _

***

I came to a stop and looked around me. My surroundings were becoming dimmer, and I felt as if I was floating away, like I was in two different places at once. Suddenly, I saw an image of a bedroom.  _ My _ bedroom, I knew instantly, even though it was different from the one back at my parent’s house.

“That doesn’t make any sense, Mr. Finn.” I remarked. “What exactly is going to happen?”

Was the ground about to split open, revealing Hell beneath? Or a portal that we would step through? And what would Hell look like? Would it be fire and brimstone like it usually was portrayed, or different?

***

_ The dream was fading away with the dark, dissipating as the sun rose. When she awakened, she would not find me there _

_ “I mean exactly what I said,” I replied kindly. “Don’t be afraid, lass. Just wake up and live. Oh, and Teagan?” _

_ She looked up at me, puzzled. _

_ “Good morning.” _

***

Whenever I watched TV shows or movies in the past and someone woke up from a nightmare in a state, I used to laugh.  _ That doesn’t happen! _ I’d thought.  _ Nobody ever wakes up like that! _

Well, joke was on me, because that’s exactly what happened when I awoke.

I didn’t scream, but I did shoot upright up, a terrified hitch in my throat and a deep sense of fear within me. No matter how many times I relived that memory, it never got easier.

Short gasps escaped me and before I knew it I was sobbing into my lap.

The real event that caused that flashback of a nightmare had ended exactly how one would expect. My mother and father refused to believe that the whiskey had broken because the bag wasn’t strong enough. That the boy from my class (I forget his name) had only wanted to help. They assumed the worst, that I was some lying hussy.

And then my mother had proceeded to beat me until I was black and blue with a belt, uncaring when the buckle broke my skin. I was then barred from leaving the house until the bruises and swelling on my face disappeared. As for the ones on my body...well no one would see those anyway.

That was horrible enough, but add in the new ending and I was shook up.

Grabbing my phone, I checked the time -  _ 8AM. Good, he should be awake. _ \- and then called the one person I went to when I was facing an existential crisis like this one.

“Hello, Father Cody? It’s Teagan. I hope I’m not disturbing you…”

“Not at all. What can I do for you? You sound distressed.”

“I...I had this horrible dream that’s made me fear for my immortal soul.” I replied, my voice breaking.

***

_ Back in the old days, a demon with even a shred left of their humanity was something of an anomaly. At the time, the majority of demons were rogue angels who stood with Lucifer and survived the Fall. Cold and unfeeling, they had no qualms or remorse about waging war on humanity just for existing. Their reasoning: How dare they assert their gift of choice so flagrantly? They get to acknowledge or deny His existence as they wished, love or hate or ignore Him as they wished, create other objects of worship as they wished, and NOT be punished? _

_ The First War set the precedent. The Second War, however, changed the game. _

_ After Lucifer was executed by his own Father, when Hell's numbers were decimated, they began to utilize the human souls to rebuild our ranks. Both sides entered into an initially uneasy peace. Before long it was observed that the human converts on either side retained certain facets of their humanity, exhibiting little to none of their weaknesses. They were progressive, creative, and driven to find balance. While most of the Old Guard on either side disapproved, some of them took leadership roles and channeled that new energy into reformation, breathing new life on both sides. _

_ Despite the new changes, to many in Hell, humanity in leadership was considered ineffective since humanity, as declared by the Old Guard, was weak. _

_ That is, until  _ **_I_ ** _ took the crown. _

_ It may seem that, considering the circumstances that got me here, I got the short end of the stick. That could not be further from the truth. My humanity saved me from becoming the mindless, feral monster that Bálor had been. But I had to become ruthless, unfeeling, cold to assert myself among this vast kingdom of darkness. And we thrived, reestablishing ourselves as a force to be reckoned with, even under the new statutes of engagement. _

_ It became so familiar, I forgot that I even had humanity left in me. _

_ And then Teagan walked into my sight and awoke instincts I thought to be long dead. Now, knowing what it feels to be human again is threatening to be my undoing. _

_ I have to keep going. I can't stop now. _


	14. Sizing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Measurements are taken, on multiple levels.

“What was the dream?”

Father Cody Rhodes was one of the few people who I trusted to tell about my life. Unlike Father Doherty back in my old hometown, he didn’t judge, condemn, or guilt-trip. Cody was different. He was young, ambitious, and understanding.

That’s why I didn’t leave anything out when I recounted my dream to him.

“Your parents really did that to you? Oh, Teagan…”

“That’s not what I’m calling up about!” I snapped despite myself. “This is about the demon saving me and then me joining it and going to Hell at the end! I mean -  _ Shit! _ Excuse my language, Father, but I might as well kiss my chances of getting into Heaven goodbye.”

“Teagan,” Cody begun and I recognized that tone. It was the same tone a teacher or parent used with a scared child who was afraid of something outlandish or impossible. “I think you’re looking too deeply into this-” 

“Am I? I renounced God and made a deal with a demon in my dream! That has to count as a mortal sin, right? And you know what they say about dreams! That they’re unconscious beliefs and desires. So what does that say about me?!” When Father Cody went to talk, I interrupted him, becoming hysterical. “I’ll tell you what it says! It says I’m every bit as weak a person as my mother said I am, because clearly when temptation comes my way, I cave like a pack of cards. It says I’m a bad Christian because I turned my back on God. And it says I’m a bad person because my mind is messed up enough to have my friend appear as a demon - twice! He’s the nicest person I’ve ever met!  _ What’s wrong with me!? _ ”

“I-I don’t want to go to Hell, Father. I know I was happy in the dream, but that’s not me! That’s fantasy!  _ This is real life! _ You have to absolve me!”

“Teagan, calm down. You’ve just re-lived a traumatic experience from your childhood and you’re panicking.” Cody responded firmly. “Now, this really isn’t something to get upset over. You haven’t done anything wrong, it was just a nightmare, something which you had no control over. I very much doubt the Lord above will hold that against you.”

“And besides, dreams make  _ NO _ sense. I had a dream the other night where I was wearing face paint and obsessed with the stars. Called myself Stardust. Crazy, right?”

This didn’t console me. “Yo-you don’t understand. My mother told me that I’m rotten inside, that I was born this way, so that meant I was destined for Hell unless I prayed the sin out. What if...what if this proves she was right? That maybe I’m just kidding myself and fighting a losing battle here. That I’m a bad person and nothing’s going to change that.”

“That’s not true. You know that’s not true. Teagan, I’ve seen a lot of bad, evil people and you are not one of them.”

“Come on, you know there are different kinds of bad, Father. I mean, people who commit suicide are ‘bad’, in the eyes of the Lord. Non Believers are, too. And then there are people like me, who were just born...wrong. It’s just...I’m trying SO hard, Father Cody. I pray, I do everything I’m supposed to, but still it doesn’t get any easier. These thoughts remain in my head and I don’t know how to make it stop! And I have to, because if I don’t then my parents will never forgive me-”

“Forgive you?! They are NOT the ones who should be doing the forgiving. Look at what they’ve done to you! Look at how much suffering they’ve inflicted on you. Your parents are the ones who are bad, not you.”

“My parents did what they thought was best!” I yelled suddenly. “I admit, they went too far and they made me absolutely miserable, but can you blame them? They aren’t bad people, they’re good Christians who are respected by their church and community. They did everything they could to raise me right and I kept disappointing them over and over again. I don’t blame them, I blame myself. And besides, they taught me respect, obedience, and right from wrong-”

“Spoken like a true child of corporal punishment.” Father Cody said wryly.

Then, in my desperation, I had a moment of madness. “Maybe...maybe I should go back on the pills again? That would fix the problem, wouldn’t it?”

Thankfully Father Cody stopped me right there. “No.” He said firmly. “Don’t you dare, Teagan. It’s not happening. How you forgotten what happened the last time your mother put you on those?” His voice became gentler. “Listen, you’re not thinking straight. You need to take a deep breath and calm down. Once you have, pay me a visit at the church. We can talk more about this.”

I sighed. “God, I just… I just want it all to end!”

Silence. Then, “...Teagan...you’re not thinking of…”

I realized how my words had come across. “What? Oh! No, no, I’m not talking about killing myself, Father, I swear! I just..I just wish I knew for sure what awaits me after death. I hate uncertainty, it just goes on and on and on. I...I don’t want to spend my whole life killing myself to be the Christian the Bible says I should be, only to die and, on my day of judgement, find out that I’m going to Hell because I was born the way I am.”

I scoffed. “You know, I kind of wish the atheists have it right and there is no God or Heaven or Hell. Then, I could live my life just being a good person, and then die of old age and rest in peace.”

“You can still do that as a Christian, Teagan. And you ARE a good person, no matter how much you believe otherwise.”

I wiped the lone tear that had slid down my cheek. I didn’t want to discuss this anymore. I had calmed down enough that, now, all I wanted to do was forget all about it. Repress the memory and go about my life, pretending all was well...

“I should, erm, I should be getting ready. I have to go see Mrs. Glover in a bit. Thanks for listening, I really appreciate it. Just-Just ignore me, I’m just being stupid as usual.

“No worries, Teagan. I’ll always be here to lend a shoulder and an ear if you ever need it. And remember: Lamentations 3:22-23: _ ‘The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.’ _ ” Father Cody recited to me. “No one is exempt from God’s love. Even you.”

We said our goodbyes and I chucked my phone down onto the bed. Wiping at my face with my eyes, I took a deep breath, and then forced a smile before heading off to the bathroom to get ready.

_ It gets better, Teagan.  _ **_It gets better_ ** _. _

***

_ “As you can see from recent projections, our numbers are maintaining a steady climb this quarter. With the recent presidential election, there is an expected upshoot of void growth and acquisitions are looking to increase globally by an impressive thirty-two percent…” _

_ I don’t care where you stand in the world - demon, angel, human - board meetings have been, and will continue to be, the most boring gathering in existence. It’s basically everyone gathered ‘round a table watching pie charts and Powerpoint slides, trying to look remotely interested when they would rather be playing hooky at a sports game or letting their secretary play dominatrix in their office. _

_ On the bright side, there was nothing negative to report. Always a plus in our position. _

_ Finally, the meeting ended and the board members disbanded per usual, the same few approaching me to catch up and seek advice or praise me for a job well done. But I had a different purpose in mind. Fortunately, he was in today. We popped in to Sal’s Place for a midday drink. It’s five o'clock somewhere, right? _

_ “You seem unnerved, dear boy.” Regal was always good at cutting to the chase as needed. “Is it your current acquisition in progress?” _

_ “It is,” I confirmed. “Nothing of widespread concern, I can assure you. But…” I was at a loss for words. That was a first in a long time. Rubbing my face in exasperation, I look up at him. “Have you ever had an acquisition in which you realize that you’ve bitten off more than you can possibly chew?” _

_ Regal chuckled politely. “Let me guess: she reminds you of your humanity and it’s thrown you quite off your game.” When I gave a quick nod, he gave me a fatherly pat on the shoulder. “There’s no shame. In fact, it’s part of the reason that the incorruptible ones are such a challenge. Even the dimmed souls have a purity to them. The more they’re able to shine, the more powerful they become. They’re stars at their peak, you understand? And the soul of Teagan Dunn has been dulled by horrific circumstances. That you have made it this far at all is a testament to your resolve and your strength, and I admire it so.” _

_ It was, I admit, encouraging to know that there was still more to learn and that I had not erred in my path so far. _

_ “Her soul is showing signs of life,” I stated. “The horrors of her life that I have seen are...unreasonable. If the angels are so upset with me for wanting it, why were they not there to protect her from the abuse and outright neglect?” _

_ Regal agreed. “It’s been a point of contention for ages. The older figures have become complacent, while claiming all authority and pro-activity. Yet we are the ones cleaning up their messes. I understand your frustration well.” _

_ I took a swallow of my Guinness Black, feeling there had to be more to it all. “She is getting better. It’s still difficult for her to process, but there’s hope for her. I’m in it for the long haul.” _

_ “I know you are, Finn, and I have every faith in your ability. Don’t get discouraged. I’ll help in any way I can,” Regal promised. _

_ It was assuring. Considering there was absolutely a chance I was falling for her, it was my string to cling to until this was finally resolved. _

***

After I was done with Mrs. Glover - she had indeed decided to go with ‘Gone Girl’. I was excited, having loved the movie - I returned home and began cleaning out my stuff. Now that I didn’t have Dawn’s ever critical eye under me, influencing me, I was able to step back and decide for myself what I liked and didn’t like.

I split my clothes into three categories:

1) The clothes that I loved (‘Real Me’, to be exact).

2) The clothes that I wore because I felt that was what I had to.

3) The clothes that Dawn picked out and her hand-me-downs.

Everything in the third category was going. They didn’t suit me at all and, in some cases, they were downright unflattering. I’d give them to charity, after all, as the saying goes, “One person’s garbage is another person’s treasure.”

_H_ _ey, kind of like me._ I thought self-deprecatingly, remembering how Finn had referred to me as his favourite girl, and said I was ‘The Special’ in his eyes.

I picked up the Pikachu hoodie I’d worn yesterday night and hugged it to me, a soft smile on my face. Yesterday had been so such a perfect day. Maybe that was why the nightmare had happened? My mind’s way of bringing me down, telling me not to get ahead of myself…

Mulling over what to do next, my eyes fell on the black folder lying inside my black umbro luggage. Picking it up, I opened it up to pages upon pages of notes, of jottings, of pictures of suits - everything a wannabe tailor would be interested in. It had served me well when making my prototype suit, I could only hope it would help me make Finn’s.

Gulping, I picked up my phone and sent him a text.

_ Hey, hope I’m not disturbing you. I was wondering if I could meet you? Need to talk to you about something. _

_ Are you at work? Maybe I can meet you at your law firm? :) _

***

_ After leaving Regal, I took off to the nearest park to collect my thoughts and mull over the past conversation. My phone buzzed, and I look at the alert. Teagan wants to meet up. _

_ I sho _ _ t back a response:  _ **_You caught me at a great time. Just left a board meeting. Where do you wanna meet?_ **

***

I smiled. I hadn’t expected such a fast reply.

_ Maybe your office? I kind of want to see where you work after hearing so much about it. _

_ Plus, this is business, not pleasure. _

I sent the text, then closed my eyes and groaned as I realized that was kind of an unintentional sexual innuendo.

_ That didn’t come out how I intended it to. >_< _

***

_ No harm in that, I guess. I'll just direct her to the cafe on the first floor. _

**_Sounds great! Have you eaten yet? I'm going to have lunch in the cafe on the main floor. Join me?_ **

**_And yeah, sure it didn't. ;)_ **

_ I had to tease her. Couldn't resist. Before I wound up forgetting myself, I sent her the address. _

***

_ I haven’t. So, yes, of course! Meet you there. ^^ _

I jotted down the address - and  checked Google Maps just to make sure I knew the way - and then quickly changed out of my clothes. I wanted to look professional for this, mainly because I took tailoring pretty seriously, but also because I didn’t want to look drab or plain in front of Finn’s work colleagues. ...That is assuming they even knew about me.

After going through my clothes from pile two, I went with a black crochet collar dress and black tights.  _ Smart, but not too formal. _ I thought.  _ Perfect. _

I got to Finn’s workplace fairly quickly. As I stood outside the building - Regal & Flair Associates - I made sure one last time that I looked respectable, before entering, holding my black folder to me.

The place wasn’t too busy, though I figured that was to be expected considering it was a Sunday. It was a shame the people here, including Finn, had to work. They should be enjoying their day off.

_ Right...so the cafe is on the first floor. _ I thought, looking around.  _ Huh, figured it’d be on the ground floor. _

I started climbing the stairs, hoping the cafe wouldn’t be too busy.

***

_ Regal and his longtime friend, Ric Flair, acquired the building from an eccentric landowner back in the roaring twenties. It's operated as a speakeasy, an upscale massage parlor, an accounting office, and, for the last half-century, a law firm. _

_ Money - it's what they know, and very well. You might say that greed is definitely their favorite sin. _

_ I caught Teagan's figure coming through the door and waved her over to my table by the scenic window. She looked very well put together, like a woman on a mission. _

_ “Love the look, Teagan,” I praised as I give her a hug and allow her to have a seat. “Glad you found this place all right. What do I owe the pleasure of that smiling face at my drab workplace?” _

***

“I’ll be honest, I was going to leave you alone until next Friday - I didn’t want you to get sick of the sight of me before our third date - but, I didn’t have much planned today and this is something you really want me to do, so I thought what the hell.”

Opening my folder, I took out a fabric sample kit, leaving it to the side for now, and a plain piece of lined paper.

Clicking my four-colored pen onto black, I asked, “Okay, so your suit: what will you be using it for? Formal wear? Business? Casual?”

*** 

_ “Hmmm…” I pretended to think on it, with exaggerated sighs and tapping on my chin. “Well, there's this charming young woman I'd love to treat to a wonderful night out in the not-so-distant future, and I'd like to look my best. So... casual?” _

***

Hiding my smile as best as I could -  _ Keep it professional! _ \- I jotted that down.

“Now that we know what the suit’s for, let’s move onto the color. Any preferences? You’re in a good position because casual has a lot of freedom. Formal is nearly always black - for obvious reasons - while business it’s normally best to go with blue or grey. But casual? Go nuts. That being said, I recommend dark colors as they’ll contrast nicely with your eyes.” 

***

_ “You have a thing for my eyes, don't you?” I fired playfully, winking at her. And there's another blush across her cheeks... never gets old. _

***

“I do. You have very nice eyes. It’s not my favorite thing about you, though. You probably wouldn’t be able to guess it.” I replied. I’d given up on trying to keep it professional by this point.

***

_ I eased up to give her a break from my teasing. “You're right, and I do like dark colors. How about a midnight blue?” _

***

I nodded. “Midnight blue’s good. Would you be wearing a tie? If so, then I suggest either same color, or...burgundy. A pale lavender would work, too. Your choice.”

Then it came to the patterns. Picking up the fabrics sample kit, I opened it up and placed it in front of Finn. If I remember correctly, there were over two hundred samples in there. I didn’t expect Finn to make up his mind straight away, just him picking out the ones he liked would be enough for me.

“Now, you can either have your suit fabric be plain, or it can come in a weave. As you probably know, there are many different weaves, some more popular than others.”

I pointed at one. “This one here is ‘Herringbone’. A wool fabric that has a bit of a broken zigzag pattern. You see it a lot in tweed.” I then pointed to another. “And this is ‘Birdseye’. A cotton cloth with a diamond shape weave pattern to it.” And then another. “‘Pick and pick’. Has a slight sheen to it. Now, take as long as you need deciding, Finn, but, personally, I’d go with a weave that’s a wool fabric. Wool is the most popular choice, can be comfortably in the day and the night, and has a versatility and refined aesthetic about it.”

As I spoke, I felt my knowledge start to come back to me. I was worried I’d be too rusty or that I wouldn’t be able to do this but, wonderfully, I did.

***

_ Watching Teagan speak with such knowledge and confidence about her craft...yes. This is precisely what I had hoped to see, and it was like seeing her younger self peeking through. _

_ I knew I was staring, but I didn't care. At this point, she's the only one in the room to me. _

_ “Since I trust your judgement, how about a matching tie, and let's make the weave a fifty-fifty wool-cotton blend? They're usually pretty clean, versatile, breathe well. Would that work?” _

***

“Yep, it does. This is good.” I grinned. “Choosing the fabric and patterns is normally the longest and hardest part, but this has been a breeze. I don’t know how you men do it, having to make up your mind from over a hundred patterns.”

After writing down more notes, I changed the pen color to red.

“Okay, quick-fire questions now.” I said. “Once this is out of the way, we’re done though. I can go and make this into a reality.”

Pen at the ready, I begun.

“Single or double breasted? I say the former. You don’t mess with the basics.”

“How many buttons? Savile Row recommends two to three, but one works, too.”

“What kind of lapel would you like? Notch or peak? Also, velvet might be nice to consider.”

“Outside pockets: Straight, Slight slant, extreme slant, or ticket pocket?” I drew examples on a separate blank page to show him. 

“How many inside pockets?”

“Would you like some cuff buttons? I recommend four. Only two will be functional, but I see most suits with four.”

“As for the trousers, I’m not going to put in belt loops. No tailor worth their salt would put belt loops on a bespoke suit. There’s no point, the suit is going to fit you perfectly. I’m going to fit fabric side adjusters instead.”

I was in my element. In that moment, I entirely forgot my surroundings. My mind was awash with ideas and possibilities, the suit already forming in my mind’s eye. I never realized how exhilarating it would be to have someone to work with and for. When I’d done the first suit, it was just me. But this time, I had someone to bounce my ideas off, to give me ideas in return.

I felt like a painter who’d suddenly been struck by inspiration and their artwork was finally coming to place.

_ I felt alive. _

***

_ The elation that welled in my chest as she spun off questions and advice like she was an old professional surprised even me. Teagan was finally learning to paint with her true colors, and she was vivid and alive. _

_ Of course, I still had to answer her questions, so I hit her pause button the only way I knew how. _

_ I leaned across the table and kissed her on the right cheek where this cute dimple kept popping up. This froze her right in her tracks. _

_ “Right. So, in order: single-breasted, two buttons, peak lapel lined in black velvet. Would you consider besom pockets? No flaps, much sharper. Two inside pockets, one on either side. Four cuff buttons. And straight-leg trousers are perfect.” I ended with a smile, then added, “Did you know you had a dimple there on your right cheek?” _

***

“Erm, erm…” I blinked at Finn. I’d gotten so caught up in thinking about the suit that his kiss to my cheek had quite literally brought me back to reality.

I looked around in case anyone had seen or was looking. It didn’t seem that way. Good, no one to see me acting like a fool in front of the man who’d commissioned me to be his tailor. Sure, he was also the man I was going on a date with next Friday, but they didn’t know that!

“No, I didn’t.” I managed to reply before I remembered that Finn had answered all my questions. “Oh, right! Hold on a sec, let me just…” I furiously wrote his answers down, my handwriting becoming progressively messier due to my haste to just get it all on the page. “As for, uh, besom pockets, was it? I can definitely add that.”

I put my pen down. “I think I’ve got everything I need. Now, I just have to buy the tools and materials I need and get your measurements and I can begin! In the meantime I’ll do some sketches - bear in mind, I have NO drawing skills - just so I can visualize it better.”

Stashing the paper away, as well as the fabric samples kit, I turned back to Finn. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice. How have you been today? Busy?”

***

_ “Weekends don't happen often,” I replied, “but we've had some unusual cases lately. Recent events have brought in some pretty interesting - and kinda insane - clientele. I can't complain though. Keeps me on my toes. And in any case, I'm done for the day, so now I'm trying to figure out what to do with my free time. Any ideas?” _

***

“Hmmm...I don’t know, that depends on what kind of mood you’re in. If you’re feeling cooped up and want to do something, you could go swimming, maybe? It’s pretty warm today.” I suggested. “Or, you could just go home and chill out. It’s Sunday, after all, you’re supposed to rest today.”

I looked at my folder. “Of course, we could always do the measurements now. Getting the first fitting done will take four to five weeks, so the quicker we get it done, the better.”

I wasn’t joking. Now, a professional tailor could probably get this done in two to three weeks. They’d also be able to bypass the first fitting and move onto the second, but I was no pro. Making this suit could take up to a good two months, I reckoned.

“But that’s business and it’s a Sunday, it can always wait, you know?” I said. I didn’t expect Finn to keep working now that his day was free.

I did sweeten the deal a little. “Of course, if you decide to do it today...I can throw in another massage. A little perk just for you. You seemed to like the first one and your job must be pretty stressful.” I said shamelessly.

I admit, I had more than one reason for spoiling Finn. I felt bad about the two dreams I’d had, how my mind seemed intent on portraying him as a demon. Nothing could be further from the truth on how I saw him. To me, Finn was more like a guardian angel, protecting and helping me.

***

_ I could have teased her about wanting to get her hands on me again, and I'm pretty sure it shows on my face. But it's just too easy. Plus, she's probably feeling a bit strange after her dream. _

_ Maybe later though... _

_ “I'd definitely be open to that. The sooner the better, yeah? And I could do with another of your massages.” _

_ Teagan's development was just like watching the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. I couldn't help but to feel excited for her, to want to draw closer to her. _

***

I smiled, pleased. Despite the morning, today was turning out to be a pretty productive one.

I looked at my watch. It was now 2pm. What could have potentially taken a good two hours had only lasted half an hour. Finn was a great client.

“You said you wanted lunch? Not too late for you?” I asked.

***

_ “Not at all! Let's go to the counter and see what the  specials are. My treat.” _

_ I motioned her to the short line of customers getting trays with napkin-wrapped bundles of silverware, plates, and plastic tumbler glasses. “The café is a 24-hour spot, good for those pulling all-nighters,” I explained. “No rest for the wicked.” _

***

“Wow, the specials look pretty good.” I said, my eyes trailing over the menu. Truth be told, they looked quite extravagant for such a modest café, but, then again, this was a well-to-do law firm. Mr. Regal and Mr. Flair probably wanted their employees to have the best of the best if they were staying up all night on a case…

“I don’t think I can make up my mind. You pick for me, Finn.” I told him.

The customers in front of us slowly dispersed, having made their orders. By the time Finn and I reached the counter, I saw that our server was a young girl called Paige who had dyed black hair and heavy black eye makeup.

“Oh.” I froze. “I know you!”

She was more dolled up now than the goth chick I remembered her as, but I’d definitely met her. I’d recognize that face anywhere.

***

_ I remember Paige, agitated as ever, venting about an acquisition where she tried to sell “some sweet-faced priss” a bit of heroin (among other things) from her stash. She couldn't believe someone said no to her - she always took that as a personal insult - let alone in such a mousy way. _

_ What she failed to mention, however, was that she had been courting an incorruptible soul. It's possible she didn't notice when she went about it, which is understandable considering the dim shine. _

_ So imagine my internal intrigue at this scenario. Hopefully Paige would be wise not to fly off the handle per usual. _

_ I looked between them. “You two know each other?” _

***

“...No?” Paige answered, looking at me oddly. I suppose she might find it hard to remember me, I no longer looked like the dead-eyed gutter rat I did all those months ago.

During that year long hell that was my period of homelessness, I had to sleep in a lot of rough places, some more dangerous than others. I learnt very quickly that you could never let your guard down as someone might try and steal from you, or, in mine and other female’s cases, sexually assault you.

Thankfully, that never happened to me, but I did get mugged quite frequently. It was on one such occasion that I met Paige.

_ “Hey.” A voice with a heavy British accent called to me. _

_ I turned around on the moth-eaten couch I’d been curled up on to see a goth girl - black leather jacket, fishnet tights, and boots and all - crouching in front of me. Though she wasn’t acting aggressive, there was an intimidating air to her, helped none by her attire. _

_ It was something of a miracle I’d fallen asleep to begin with. All around me was pandemonium, a semi-rave, semi gathering of junkies looking to get their latest fix. Rap music that was loud enough to cause hearing loss blared from the speakers, whilst the once immaculate house now resembled a cesspool with garbage and drugs and God knows what littering and staining the floor, ceilings and walls. Nothing had been left untouched or unbroken. I hated every second of it, but it was either here or outside on the street. _

_ “You awake now?” She waved in my face, before continuing, “So, I hear your money was nicked from you. Tough break. You have any left to get some food?” _

_ I shook my head dejectedly. I did not. That money had been the last of the ‘handout’ my mother had given me. Without it, I was now broke and I had no idea how I was going to get by. Begging didn’t give me anywhere near enough to survive. _

_ “Damn. When was the last time you ate anyway? You’re all skin and bones.” _

**_Three days ago._ **

_ “Hey, can you talk or are you a mute or something?” _

_ “Three days ago.” I answered this time, my voice croaking because I hadn’t spoken a word to anyone in a week. _

_ The girl whistled. “Wow, life reeeeally sucks for you right now, huh?” I nodded and she smiled. “Well, listen, I haven’t got any food for you, but I do have something even better. Take a look at this.” _

_ Digging into her pockets, she started pulling out various pills and syringe and sachets of white powder. I knew instantly that she was trying to sell me drugs. _

_ “I like you, and you look like you could use a break, so pick whatever you want and you can have it for free.” She told me excitedly. “You should try the heroin, you’ll love that. You’ll feel SO much better afterwards. It’ll make you forget alll about how terrible your life is. Like, I can’t even begin to describe the feeling to you. It’s  _ **_bliss._ ** _ ”  _

_ I sat up and listened to her as she tried to convince me which drug I should try for the first time - she  _ **_really_ ** _ wanted me to try the heroin. I admit, I was highly tempted. I was cold, hungry, tired and lonely, and now, on top of all that, broke. If there was something I could take that would make me feel better, why not? What was holding me back at this point? My parents had turned their backs on me, as had God, I was sure. _

_ My hand reached out for the spoon and lighter. Paige grinned, egging me on, telling me I wouldn’t regret it. _

_ Suddenly, behind Paige, a lanky man scratching his arms, collapsed against the wall and proceeded to vomit all over the carpet and pass out beside it. Nobody paid him any heed, too busy enjoying themselves or, in the cases of those partaking in drugs, too lost in their own worlds. _

_ It was just the reality check I needed. I withdrew my hand as if I’d been burned. What was I thinking? I couldn’t do this! _

_ My reasons had nothing to do with religion. I just knew that, if I accepted the girl’s drugs, that would be it for me. I’d fall down a deep, dark abyss of addiction that I’d never return from. If I didn’t end up coerced into prostitution, selling my body to get my latest fix, then I’d end up overdosing, lying in a gutter somewhere. _

**_That was not how I wanted my life to end!_ **

_ “No.” I said, voice barely above a whisper.  _

_ The girl was undeterred. “Oh come on, don’t be like that, try some. If  heroins too much for you, try some coke or acid!” _

_ I shook my head. “No.” I said more firmly this time. “I don’t want any.” _

_ “No one likes a goody-two-shoes. Join in with the party, everyone else is doing it, why won’t you?” Now the slightest hint of vexation had entered her voice. _

_ I crossed my arms and shook my head again. “I’m not interested. Sorry.” _

_ And with that, the pleasantries disappeared. _

_ “Fine. Be that way. Your loss, not mine.” The girl, now scowling, angrily stuffed the drugs back into her pockets. “I don’t understand you. You’re at rock bottom, you look like shit, and keep going the way you are, you’ll probably be dead in a month. Anyone else would have jumped at the chance for some temporary relief. What, are you retarded or something? Stop being such a fucking killjoy and take what I’m offering. You’ll thank me.” _

_ The girl finally gave up when I didn’t take the bait, still refusing to accept. _

_ “ _ **_Stuck up bitch._ ** _ ” She spat before storming off. _

 

I didn’t hold it against the girl. I figured she was in a bad situation like me and had become a drug dealer to make ends meet, just like others lost themselves to addiction or resorted to stealing. She’d seen a potential new customer and I’d disappointed her expectations. It was as simple as that.

It made me happy to see that, like me, she’d left that life behind. That she’d found a job here. It gave me hope for the other homeless and downtrodden out there.

“You might not remember me, but we met last December, around Christmas. You tried to sell me some drugs and I turned you down.” I said, trying to refresh her memory.

That did it. Her brown eyes widened. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed, half gasping, half laughing as she looked me over. “Yeah, I remember you! Miss. Goody Two Shoes! Holy shit, I didn’t recognize you at first. I can’t believe you’re still alive, I could have sworn you ended up freezing or starving to death or something.”

“So, you dating my boss, huh?” She asked me, wiggling her eyebrows a little at Finn. “She your latest conquest, Finn? Going for another ‘good girl gone bad’?”

My smile became strained.  _ I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. _

***

_ And here I had almost forgotten why I'd come close to devouring her soul. Paige never did know when to keep her mouth shut. _

_ “Paige…” I interrupted with a warning tone. _

_ “Come on, man,” she continued, warning unheeded. “She's so your type! Pretty sure you'll have her on your knees for that enormous d-” _

_ “Paige,” another voice interrupted, with no chance of argument. Regal and his timing were a welcome intervention. “You forget your place, Saraya-Jade.” _

_ Her face blanched. Regal used her real name - a sure sign that she was in serious hot water. _

_ In that deceptively polite voice he added, “You are relieved of your duties as of today. Meet me in my office, ready to relinquish your uniform.” _

_ Her lip quivered, as if wanting to say something, but she spun on her heel and stormed off. _

_ Regal turned to us, ever the gentleman. “My deepest apologies to you both. Paige has always been a bit of a live wire. I will make sure your lunch is complimentary.” _

_ “Thank you, sir,” I replied, remembering my cover as a colleague. _

_ His eyes fell on Teagan. “You must be the delightful Teagan Dunn - a pleasure to meet you, my dear. Finn speaks well of you, and often.” He kissed the back of her hand, successfully drawing out another blush. _

***

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Mr. erm…” I tried to second guess which of the two owners he was. “Mr. Regal?” I settled on. One look at Finn told me I’d guessed correctly.

“And Finn really talks about me?” I asked shyly. Not that I didn’t believe him, I just found it hard to. I’d only known Finn for a week - had I really made that much of an impact on him in such a short space of time?

_ Hey, he made an impact on you, didn’t he? _ My mind reminded me.

...True. But then, there was also the fact that...well, what was there to tell? It’s not like I lead the most exciting life.

“Of course.” Regal smiled warmly. “Just the other day, he was regaling me about how he was so moved by your passion for tailoring that he decided to commission a suit from you. Which was quite a shock for me as he’s always preferred to buy ready to wear like the commoner he is.” We all laughed at that. “But, really, I must ask, is that true?”

I nodded quickly, hiding my smile behind the black folder. “Ah, that’s splendid to hear, truly splendid. It’s rare to see such heart nowadays, especially in a dying art-form like the tailoring business. You must let me see the finished product once it’s done, I might be able to get you some more clients.”

“ _ Thank you. _ ” I gasped out, unable to believe my luck. “That’s really nice of you, Mr. Regal. Finn’s lucky to have you as a boss.”

I then remembered Paige and my smile dropped a little. “Erm, Mr. Regal, about that girl, Paige. Is...Is she going to get fired?” It sure had sounded like that. I mean, what else could “relinquish your uniform” possibly mean?

“I know she behaved unprofessionally back there, but is there any way you can give her another chance? I think she’s had a hard life and I’d really hate to see her in trouble again. Plus, it was partly my fault. We’ve met before and she was really shocked to see me, and I think I threw her off a little.”

***

_ Regal and I glanced at one another. We knew it was her third strike, that she was good as screwed. But leave it to Regal to respond smoothly. “You're truly kind, my dear. Unfortunately, this isn't her first violation. She's not very receptive to authority and has had less than inspiring influences as of late. However, I will take your plea into consideration. We may simply demote her, or relocate her to another role best suited to her personality.” _

_ I added, “No worries, Teagan. Regal runs a very tight ship. He'll find a place for her yet.” _

***

“Oh, that's a relief to hear. Thank you.” I said, pacified. I'd hate to think I played a part in her losing her job.

My phone started ringing then. I checked the number; it was Samantha.

I stared at it. Samantha? But wasn’t she missing? That’s what the papers said, right? Or had she been found and I was the first person she decided to call? No, wait, that made no sense…

“Erm, I just have to take this call. I’ll be right back.” I excused myself.

I walked towards the entrance of the café so Finn and his boss could talk to one another in peace, then answered the call.

“Hello? Samantha?”


	15. Downsizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say about loose lips, right?

_“She's quite a winning creature, Finn,” Regal marveled. “I can see why you're having a little trouble maintaining impartiality. And please, do show me the finished product, I wasn't joking about that. Anything to further the mission. Also, I do love a bespoke suit.”_

_“My gratitude as always, Regal,” I thanked. “And Paige?”_

_“Whatever you prefer, lad. I can toss her below, as entertainment for the groundlings until you're ready to consume her.”_

_I pat him on the back. “I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt for this one. Demotion to either an Imp or one of the Shadows until she can prove herself reliable again, and not be so reckless. She really is a good demon; I’d hate to lose her.”_

_“Indeed, dear boy,” Regal nodded with a smile. “Go on, tend to your lunch date. I will keep you updated.”_

_With that he sauntered off. At that point, our lunches had been prepped and ready for the taking. I carried the trays to my table and wait for Teagan._

***

“Hello? Hello?”

Nothing. Someone  _was_  on the other end because I could just make out the sound of breathing, but no one answered. It was incredibly unnerving considering the caller was supposedly missing.

The papers didn’t have much to reveal on the matter. One day, Samantha was seen about town, the next nothing. A pool of her blood was found in her home as were her clothes at the entrance of the woods on the outskirts, but that was about it. There’d been no hide nor hair of her since.

“...Samantha...is that you?” I asked.

The call abruptly ended. The person on the other end had hung up. I didn’t know whether to take that as confirmation or not.

I bit my lip. Should I go to the police? They might be able to use this to help find her. ...Then again, I did have my suspicions that Samantha wasn’t really missing. That she was just laying low until things died down and she resurfaced. That’s what Dawn was doing, having gone down the more glamorous route of holidaying in Majorca with Dante.

I decided I’d leave it for now. If it happened again, I’d go to the police. And...if I got in trouble for not telling them the first time, then I could always ask Finn for help.

Pocketing my phone, I was all set to return to Finn - Regal had left. A shame, I would have liked to have said bye to him - when I caught sight of Paige down the corridor. She was in the arms of a Mexican man, sobbing, her eye makeup running down her cheeks.

My heart fell. Despite my efforts, it seemed she’d still lost her job.

Before I could stop myself, I was walking towards her. I wanted to apologize, to comfort her. To let her know I’d be there if she needed anything.

“Erm, Paige...listen, I’m sorry-”

_SLAP._

I felt the unpleasant burn radiate on the side of my face, how my lip split, and, for a second, I thought my mother had appeared out of nowhere and smacked me for old time’s sake.

She hadn’t, thankfully. Rather, it was Paige. “You got me fired on purpose!” She hissed.

“No, I didn’t! I tried to save your job!” I protested.

“Bullshit! Don’t think I don’t know your game. You got recruited, saw me, and decided you’d get a little payback because I tried to get you hooked on drugs. ”

“ _This_  is the  _puta_  who got you into trouble?” The Mexican man said, looking me up and down with amused disdain, as if he couldn’t believe I was anything other than garbage on the floor. “Want me to deal with her, baby?”

Paige shook her head. “Leave this to me, Papi. I eat girls like her for breakfast.”

“Paige, ma chérie,” a glamorous French woman with platinum blonde hair standing nearby called over. She looked like she was enjoying Paige’s meltdown immensely. “I have some advice for you: Stop. Before you make things worse for yourself.”

The woman standing next to her, also a blonde, and wearing a smart red suit, smirked. “Or not. I am enjoying the show very much.” She said in a Russian accent.

“Worse? How can it possibly get any worse? Haven’t you heard? I just got my third strike!” Paige shrieked. “I can’t fucking believe this. I busted my arse and owned the place! It was  _MY_  house, but because I’ve got three strikes, that’s it? I’m ancient history! It’s not fair!” 

“Baby, calm down. Let’s get outta here, before old man Regal comes.” The Mexican man pressed her. “We can hide out somewhere, wait until the time is right, then I’LL take over and be the boss.”

This seemed to calm Paige down. “You’re right, Papi. I’ve had it up to here with this place. It’s such a drag, trying to keep us down.” 

She then turned back to face me. “Congratulations, you got rid of me. Pat yourself on the back. I’ve just got one question for you: What was your poison?”

I was befuddled by such a question. “Wh… I’m sorry,  _what?_ ”  

“Your poison, stupid. It wasn’t the drugs, so what was it that got you into this place? And how the fuck did you wind up being Bálor’s favorite? I mean, look at you! You’re so dull, there’s barely any life there. What happened to going to the dark side first?”

Okay, I followed her at first, but now I was well and truly stumped. “I don’t work here... I literally came just to have lunch with Finn and, erm...discuss tailoring a suit for him.”  

A light-bulb appeared to have went off in Paige’s head then. “...Wait, you mean you’re not a new recruit? You really are just a girl he’s seeing?” She grinned when I nodded my head. “Oh my God. You don’t know, do you? You really have no idea.”

“What...what do you mean?” I was a little scared of what her answer might be. I had the feeling that whatever it was, it was bad.

“Paige, stop!” The Russian woman snapped and she and her companion were no longer smiling. “This is no joke. She...” Her brown eyes looked at me then back at Paige again. She seemed to be struggling with her words

“I’m on my way out, Lana, I don’t give a fuck anymore about the rules!” 

Paying no heed to this Lana, Paige grabbed my wrist. “Listen carefully because I’m about to blow your mind.” She smirked. “I’m going to let you in on a couple of secrets. The biggest you’ll ever hear. I’m talking the forbidden kind. In fact, here’s the first one. I’ll even show you if you don’t believe me.”

Her index finger rested on my forehead. I tried to back away, but her grip was deceptively strong. My eyes widened when I saw her brown eyes start to turn orange-gold.  _What the…_

“Your boyfriend, Finn Bálor? He’s-”

As if a bomb had gone off from underneath her, she was thrown off her feet.

***

_When a demon poses a threat to something another demon has laid claim to - particularly_ _mine_ _\- a warning ignites with the brand's signature and signals back to its originator. It also warns the threat. They either retreat or ignore at their own peril._

_I felt the trigger from Teagan's seal before Paige even raised a hand to her. A quick text to Regal, and I popped out into the hallway, unseen, where Paige was berating Teagan. She, apparently, did not heed the warning._

_Maryse and Lana were watching, warning Paige to stop as Del Rio egged her on._

_Paige was about to reveal us all to a human. An expressly forbidden action punishable only one way._

_Her eyes flashed demonic, and I knew she was finished. At the mention of my name, I knocked her off her feet._

_Regal arrived right on time for the distraction. “_ **_Saraya-Jade! Alberto! My office, NOW!!_ ** _” He bellowed with such anger, I could swear he had transformed himself._

_With Teagan distracted by Regal’s entrance, I reappeared by her side. “Teagan, you alright? Did she hurt you?”_

***

She had. Finn only had to take one look at the pink skin on the right side of my face and my bleeding lip from where her nails had nicked it (as far as slapping went, Paige was scarily similar to my mother).

However, that wasn’t important right now.

Staring at the spot Paige had stood just seconds ago, I blinked, trying to process what had just happened.

“Her eyes turned amber. They  _literally_  turned a different color just now. Like, one minute they were brown, the next they weren’t. And then-and then she was knocked off her feet when nothing even hit her! How is that even possible?!”

I swayed a little.  _Did I imagine that? Was she wearing contact lenses that can change color at will or something?_

_...Am I_ **_dreaming?_ **

That would actually explain a lot. My dreams had been pretty life-like recently and changing eyes was a recurring theme in them. Plus things had escalated at a ridiculous rate. All I wanted to do was apologize and see if Paige was okay. How had things ended up here?

“I...” I blinked, remembered Finn was there, and looked at him. “I need to go sit down. I’ll be…” I motioned towards the café. “I’ll be there.”

I went to leave, but quickly stumbled. Leaning a hand against the wall, I carefully managed to make my way back into café. Once there, I collapsed into the first chair available and rested my head in my hands.

_I’m definitely seeing things…_

***

_“She was about to reveal us to Teagan, the spiteful pissant.” Regal was incensed. “What shall I do with them, Bálor?”_

_“You take Del Rio, lock Paige away. I will deal with her myself.”_

_“And Teagan?”_

_“I’ll see her home, make sure she gets rest. If need be, I'll alter her memory so it doesn't plague her.”_

_“Wise choice, my King. Go to her.”_

_I left Regal to his work and put my focus into tending to Teagan. After flagging one of the lunch workers to pass me a first aid kit, I sat next to Teagan and gently lifted her face to survey the damage. Her lip was cruelly split, as it was in her dream._

_“Look at me, lass,” I coaxed. “I'm going to clean this up, ok?”_

_***_

“Okay.” I said simply, staring off into space.

Maybe it was because I was so used to being slapped as a child and told to deal with it, but I felt like the first aid kit was a tad excessive. Not that I voiced this opinion, Finn would still insist on using it. 

My eyes fell on his face and I leaned forward, staring intently into them. I wanted to see if they’d turn red, just like they did in my dreams. If I caught him out, then I’d know for sure.

“Aren’t you going to tell me it’s time to wake up now?”

When he didn’t respond, I sighed.  _What am I doing?_  

Reaching out, I touched his wrist. “I’m sorry.” I apologized. “I shouldn’t have gone to talk to her. I saw her crying and felt bad and wanted to try and make her feel better and...well, this happened. I should have stayed with you. You’d think I would have learned my lesson from my dream this morning, huh? ...Oh wait, I didn’t tell you, did I?”

*** 

_She was still stressed from her dream, not that it wasn't to be expected. Childhood trauma such as that isn't simply shaken off._

_“No. No, you didn't. But please know that this wasn't your fault. None of this was. You meant well, Teagan. Paige, on the other hand...not so much. She shouldn't have raised a hand to you.”_

_I dabbed an antiseptic wipe at her lip, cleaning up a bit of blood in the process._

_“Regal is handling the situation now. I'll take you home.”_

***

I nodded my head, then stood up. I was still a bit shaky, but thankfully I had Finn there to support me.

“Please tell Mr. Regal I’m sorry? He probably has such a bad impression of me now after this. I wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t want me to show my face around here again.” I said, glancing at the office Paige, her boyfriend, and Regal had stormed into.

“...‘ _What’s my poison?_ ’” I murmured to myself as we walked down the stairs and out the building. “What does that even mean?”

***

_“I can only assume she meant drugs. Like, if she couldn't get you on to hers, what did or would have? Paige never was the most stable person, but she was determined to get better, so Regal took her on. My car’s over here,” I directed to the side street where I was parked. I helped her in and we took off towards Teagan's house._

_“And Regal doesn't blame you at all. I spoke with him before coming to you. He sends his sincere apologies and hopes to cross paths with you again soon.”_

***

“That’s a relief. I hope so, too.” I rested my head back and continued staring off into space.

“And that could be it. But...I don’t know. She seemed to have the wrong idea, thought I was a new recruit. Like, I had a job there because of my ‘poison’. Crazy, right? Not as crazy as when she started saying how she was going to tell me a huge secret though...”

My fingertip trailed over the once bleeding part of my lip. “Thank you for this.”

***

_“Anytime, Teagan. And it wouldn't be the first time Paige ranted and raved in public,” I said, hoping to change the context. “She once claimed to know why Regal aged so well. Unfortunately, the whole bathing in virgin's blood story doesn't fly too well in sensible company. That was months ago.”_

_I knew I'd have to restructure her memory, not that it would be an issue. But keeping her calm and somewhat distracted helped._

***

“Is that why she was on her last strike? Because she has a drug problem?” Yes, that would explain away all the nonsensical stuff she said. (I was stubbornly ignoring how she’d seemed pretty lucid today when coming out with all that crazy talk).

“Who was that man she was with? Her boyfriend? He said they would run away, then come back later and he would take over instead. ...Is that legal?

Finn wasted no time in getting me back to my house, and the same went for helping me inside and up the stairs to my bedroom. I felt awful - this was the second time Finn had to carry my ass off to bed.

“It’s okay, really. I’m just going to lie down for a bit.”

***

_“That's fine. And to answer your question, that was Alberto Del Rio, one of those less than inspiring influences Regal referred to. He's largely the reason for Paige's antagonistic behavior lately. He's got her convinced that he's going to take the firm from Regal, utterly certain he can run it better. Basically, he's an arrogant, delusional prick.”_

_I ran a hand across her forehead. “Is there anything I can do to help you through this?”_

***

I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’ll just lie here and try to clear my thoughts a little. Thanks again for taking care of me. I swear, this isn’t a recurring thing with me. I’m not this high maintenance damsel in distress who constantly needs saving. I’m just….just Teagan.” I wasn’t making much sense, but whatever. I’m sure Finn would understand.

“Hey, Finn.” I asked, turning to lie on my side so I was facing him. “You never did guess it. What I liked the most about you. Remember?”

***

_I chuckled softly. “No, I couldn't guess. Will you tell me what it is? And why? Just because I'm curious.”_

***

I closed my eyes. Despite my insistence I wasn’t tired and was just going to lie there, it seemed sleep was going to claim me anyway. Typical.

“Your smile.” I whispered. “You have the nicest smile I’ve ever seen. Keep smiling forever, Finn. It’s like...sunshine...”

I rambled off as I fell fast asleep.

***

_I smiled and whispered back before she was too far gone, “I like your smile, too... though it's not what I like most about you. If you remember this, I'll tell you about it sometime.”_

_Rewriting memories is not a difficult task. Only a few can do it correctly and, in doing so, rewrite someone's entire life without permanent damage._

_Nothing that extreme was necessary here. With a touch of my fingers to her forehead, I removed all references to being a demon - the eye shift didn't even happen - so, when played back, it will simply appear that Paige was merely raving and pissed off at getting fired._

_When Teagan awakened, she would feel a little less shaken up, making it easier to put the unpleasantness behind her in time._

_I wrote a note for her, in case she awakened before I returned._

**_Dear Teagan,_ **

**_I had to go back to the firm to assist Regal, then to my place to shower and change into more comfortable clothing. I'll bring dinner since we have yet to eat. How's pizza sound?_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Finn_ **

_A kiss to her cheek, and I was gone. “Back soon, lovely,” I whispered._

_I sped back to the firm, striding through the door with purpose. Those I passed bowed in fear and reverence - they could feel the anger radiating from me for miles._

_Regal awaited me outside of his office. “How is she?”_

_“Sleeping,” I replied. “When she wakes, she'll remember the unpleasantness, but not the eye shift or any allusion to demons. Just Paige slapping her and ranting at her for getting her fired.”_

_“Excellent, my King. Del Rio has been neutralized. She has been silenced, and waits in the basement cell for your arrival.”_

_“Thank you, good sir. I will attend to that now.” Regal opened the door to his office, and hit a switch under his desk. A wall panel next to his bookcase slid open, and I made my way down into the dark._

_The number of secret lifts in this building are few, but they lead to floors not meant for public consumption, above and far below._

_I stripped everything, from tie to socks, until I wore nothing but barely-controlled rage. This would get messy. And no way in hell will I mess up a suit on her account._

_Paige looked rough, but defiant. Impressive considering her tongue had been cut out, silencing her. Blood caked around her lips, bruises on her neck - from struggling against their hold, no doubt. But it wasn't enough to sate my anger._

_“You know why you're here. You have been found guilty of committing the unforgivable crime: without expressed authorization, you threatened to reveal secrets of our existence to an uninitiated human. The penalty for this is death. The method has been decided. Anything you'd like to say before execution?”_

_She rolled her eyes and raised the middle finger to me. Typical._

_“Then it will help you to know... that you'll get to join Alberto in oblivion as well. He was snuffed out quickly. Wasn't even worth digesting, apparently. Just gone in a blink, like a summer’s breeze,” I said coolly, being as cold and cruel as I felt. “That's what he gets for conspiracy. You, however, will not be quite so fortunate.”_

_Her eyes widened in terror, shifting to rage when the realization finally sunk in. But I wasn’t done. I let out a low chuckle. “And to think, had you not gone to run your mouth, I would have simply had you demoted to Imp or Shadow until your head was back on straight. Because unlike your traitorous prick of a lover, you still had potential. Guess I dodged_ **_that_ ** _bullet, huh?”_

_If she could have roared, she would have._

_She begun to charge at me._

_My tendrils caught her in mid-air, binding her arms to her sides. She struggled and fought, but couldn't break free._

_Good. The fighting makes the soul taste all the sweeter._

_I pulled her close to me, forcing her mouth and eyes open as I called forth her soul. To devour the soul of a demon is to drag it by force from its body, kicking and screaming. It's agonizing, slow, and is the last experience of a soul cursed to this fate. A waking nightmare, much like experiencing surgery without anesthesia, only far more permanent._

_As Paige's essence drained away, my tendrils squeezed her in its coil. It filled my mouth like a rare wine. I could taste every sin she committed, every life she destroyed. It was_ **_delicious._ **

_Once the last wisp of soul left, it was time for the messy part. It wasn't necessary, but I had aggression to work out._

_Her body was crushed in a sickening crunch of bone and viscera. The spine had split and snapped as though caught in an anaconda's grip. I let out a primal scream and ripped the corpse apart, limb from limb. It was severed, beaten, and shredded until there was no resemblance that it was ever human._

_It didn't take away all the rage, but it was satisfying just the same._

_I was led to the shower room while the Shadows - our cleanup crew - started clearing the cell. I took care in scrubbing and cleansing myself of the refuse and grime that Paige's execution left behind._

_The hot water fell in a torrent over me, and I thought about Teagan. I knew she would be awake soon, that I would return with pizza and to continue with my plan. As pleased as I had become over her growth, and the reawakening of her soul, it was seriously messing with my objectivity. Regal said that it's a side effect of pursuing such a soul, that I was another step closer to achieving the improbable._

_I just knew that I wanted to stay close to her._

_After getting dressed, I went to Regal. “It's done.”_

_“Indeed, Sire. Take some time off, look after Teagan and yourself. I will handle things here.”_

_“I trust you will, as always. Call me for anything you may need. And look for a bonus from me. For going above and beyond.”_

_“You are too generous, Sire. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” He gave a respectful nod._

_I returned the gesture and left. It was a little after 6pm. Teagan would be awake soon._

_Time to pick up dinner._


	16. Submerge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deep dive into Teagan's subconscious.

I awoke to find half my day had flown by, now the evening instead of the afternoon when I left it.

I scratched my head and huffed. It was becoming seriously annoying how drama seemed to unfold every time I was out with Finn. With the exception of yesterday, they had all ended with something bad happening. Let’s see...

1) First date: Didn’t go great on account of me being me. 

2) Second date: The roofie incident.

3) Met up yesterday: Perfect. Finn saved my house and we spent the night having a whale of a time at LEGOLAND.

4) Meetup today: Getting into an altercation with a fellow co-worker.

One out of four was  _ NOT _ a good record. Now that it was staring me in the face, it made me even more hellbent to ensure that the upcoming third date went without a hitch. If I didn’t, I was throwing in the towel, accepting that I was jinxed or God was giving me a sign not to get into a romantic relationship.

The silence was broken by the sound of my stomach rumbling.  _ Oh, right. We didn’t have lunch. _

I was about to go make myself a sandwich when I caught sight of the note Finn left me.

I smiled as I read it. Pizza sounded awesome.

As I waited for Finn to arrive, I got myself busy with damage control. Finn  _ said _ that Mr. Regal didn’t blame me, but how could I know for sure? Maybe he was being polite? And what if Finn got into trouble with his boss for this? That wouldn’t do!

So... I baked chocolate chip cookies.

English muffins would probably have been better -  _ you can take the Englishman out of England, but you can’t take England out of the Englishman _ \- but I needed dough for that and they took two hours and I had no guarantee they’d come out looking nice, let alone edible. 

 

But chocolate chip cookies? They only took fifteen minutes to prepare and ten to cook.

I heard the doorbell ring. Finn was here.

“Heeeey.” I said with an apologetic smile as I let him in. “So, I’m feeling better now and I just wanted to say I am  _ SO _ sorry about today. I should have kept my big mouth shut. But, don’t worry - I have a way to fix this!”

***

_ I set the piping hot pizza down on the counter when I followed Teagan into the kitchen. She'd been an industrious little bee while I'd been away. The house smelled amazing. _

__

_ “You baked cookies?” I smiled. “I will say that he  _ **_does_ ** _ enjoy homemade cookies, so you'll make a new friend for life doing this. But like I told you earlier, you haven't messed anything up today. If anything, Regal feels responsible for not getting rid of her sooner.” _

***

“Of course he does.  _ Everyone  _ likes cookies.” I said confidently. “Point to me someone who doesn't and I'll tell you they're a lying liar who lies!”

I was relieved to hear that Regal felt no ill will. Even more relieved that Finn wasn't upset.

“The pizza smells really nice.” I went to open it, but paused. “I'm going to try and guess what you got. ...Pepperoni?”

***

_ “Nice guess! That's  _ **_one_ ** _ of the toppings. There's also Italian sausage and Peruvian cherry peppers - those are sweet with just a little heat.” _

__

***

“Ooh, fancy! Not quite the peasant Regal believes you are,” I snickered as I took a couple of slices onto my plate.

 

***

 

_ “Peasant? Ha! He only jokes like that because I don't buy everything bespoke or have chauffeurs taking me places. I just like what I like, and I don't require much.” _

 

_ I grabbed a couple of glasses and set them on the counter. “How are you feeling?” _

 

***

“Fine.” I smiled in answer to his question. And that wasn't a lie. “Better than this morning. How about you?”

***

_ I took a couple slices from the box, then went to pour drinks for us before taking our dinner to the couch. _

__

_ “No complaints. Glad the day is nearly done,” I said with relief. “Regal let me take a few days off, about a week, though I can still work remotely. So just figuring out what to do with it.” _

***

“Lucky you. Most people would kill for a week off.” I said, remembering how much Laura loathed her 9am-6.30pm job, as well as the overtime that came with it. Jessica had always been complaining about how she didn’t get to take as many holidays as she would have liked.

That was another perk to not having a job: getting to lie in whenever I wanted.

“And I’m sure you can fill it up with stuff to do. Have any friends who are free to meet up? Places to go?” I asked, taking a bite of the pizza. Damn, the Italian sausage was good. 

 

“You're always free to come round here, if you want. Just take it easy, do whatever you want. This can be, like, a safe zone.” I joked, though I did actually mean what I said. “No matter what shit goes on outside, you can come here and just escape it all.”

“...Of course, I'm an introvert who likes staying indoors, so I am kind of biased…”

***

_ “To be honest, so am I. Probably more so than I like to admit at times. So it's nice to keep a low profile.” I took a bite, enjoying the bold flavor of cherry pepper. “I do have some work to catch up on, so I'll likely be at my place doing that. May go hiking, swimming, something like that. I'd like to swing by during my downtime, but I'd hate for you to get tired of my face.” _

***

I scoffed. “Please. If anything, you should be getting tired of  _ my _ face. Every time we’ve met, something bad has happened, you know that? I did a tally.” I wiggled my fingers. “We’ve seen each other four times and only once had things gone well. I mean, I know two of those were because of other people, but it’s really not that great. Friday’s date HAS to go well so it at least becomes an even number.”

I made quick work of my first slice, and picked up another. This really was a great pizza. It put Pizza Hut to shame.

“Hey, Finn. Do you think dreams are just random nonsense or do you think they have some deeper meaning to them?” I asked.

***

_ “I think it all depends on the meaning we give it,” I replied simply. “Some things we see in dreams don't necessarily have a linear meaning beyond what they are, and others go pretty deep. But it's hard to tell sometimes. Once I had a dream about oversized stuffed bunnies chasing me down the street while I'm in my undies. Still not sure where that came from, but I figured it meant that I shouldn't take things too seriously.” _

***

I very nearly spat out my drink laughing when I heard that. Thank God I didn’t, but I did have to swallow quickly before I couldn’t contain myself and started choking. I’m sure Finn meant he had the dream when he was a child, but all I had in my head was the image of him as an adult, running terrified from oversized bunnies that looked like they belonged in  _ Donnie Darko. _

“That actually makes me feel a bit better.” I smiled once I stopped giggling. 

“...I have these nightmares...about growing up with my parents. They’re less dreams and more flashbacks though. Like I’m reliving it all over again.”

I took a bite of my pizza. “Last night, I had one. You were in it and you told me that the way my parents treated me was abusive. I was talking to Father Cody this morning and he said the exact same thing. Mr. and Mrs Austin said they were bad parents, too. I’m just wondering if...maybe the fact that I dreamt it means that...maybe, deep down, I agree?”

I blinked off into space. “I... I don’t  _ think _ I do. I always figured my parents were in the right. That I deserved it. I mean, all the authority figures in my old hometown used to say it was their right as parents to discipline me and raise me the way they did. Maybe it’s just a difference in cultures?”

I sighed. “I just don’t know...”

***

_ “To be honest, Teagan...I'm inclined to agree with Father Cody and the Austins. Now before you say anything, let me preface this by adding this by saying this is based entirely on what you've told me.” _

__

_ A swallow of my drink, and I continued, treading lightly. “Parents are human. They make mistakes, often thinking that they're doing what's best for the child. But your description of your mother's behavior combined with the fear you felt taking on anything outside of religion and thinking yourself bad because of it? In my line of work, we see these signs as the result of an oppressive religious upbringing where there was potential abuse. A loving parent does not lack compassion when their child cries for help. They don't use the Bible to justify terrorizing their child into being docile. It's like they were so terrified of you becoming so much better than they are, that they tried to break your spirit from the start. I don't know the specifics, but if they were in court with you as a child, they would not only lose you to the foster system but be punished to the fullest extent just for what you've told me they did.” _

***

I sat, listening intently to what Finn was saying. Father Cody had told me similar things, but I’d never really taken them to heart. He’d only heard one side of the story. If he were to meet my parents and find out the truth about me, then he’d probably change his mind instantly.

Plus, he was just the lone priest saying such things. The priests in my hometown’s church had agreed with my mother and her treatment of me. In fact,  _ anyone _ who was in a position to put a stop to it either supported it or ignored it. The teachers, the cops, etc. No one stepped in and did a thing, so it couldn’t possibly have been wrong. That was my reasoning.

So, I’d grown up thinking it was right and it was normal. Sure, they might have been a bit  _ too _ strict, but some parents were just that way.

...Right?

“Well… Erm…for comparison's sake, what would you say are acceptable ways to discipline a child? Then...maybe...maybe I can tell you some of the stuff my mother did and you can tell me if that’s okay or abuse?” I asked.

I must be crazy to ask, but Finn seemed to know what he was talking about. He had experience with similar cases in his line of work. Maybe he could shed some light on this, make me see things from a different point of view that I hadn’t before? I was certain that I was in the right, that my parents were justified, but...that dream had felt so real. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

***

_ Deep breath. “Right. Well, first I've read the Bible...feel like I can recite it cover to cover some days. Several cases we've tackled over the years have involved people who use the Bible or other religious books to justify their actions. One particular case involved religious parents who abused their transgender daughter so badly, that she threw herself into oncoming traffic. They used their faith to tell her how wrong she was, how disgusting she was, how she was going to hell. They forced her to dress like a boy when going to family gatherings - which made her uncomfortable to the point of sickness. When she died, they still wouldn't acknowledge her, but addressed the son she refused to identify as.” _

__

_ “After it was discovered through a blog post she wrote before her death that the parents’ abusive tactics went beyond the mental and emotional, they were arrested and brought to justice. Flair was tapped to prosecute the case, and it was clearly hard on him, being a father himself. Later, he tells me that he wished he could have been the judge instead. He would have sent them to die for the horrors they put that young one through.” _

__

***

My heart hurt to hear about the transgender daughter who killed themselves because their religious parents wouldn’t accept them. For the poor girl who couldn’t help being born that way and couldn’t go on living. For the fact that suicide in Christianity was seen as a mortal sin so, if you believed what the text said, there was no peace, even in death. They were in Hell (God, I wanted to believe that wasn’t the case).

And the fact that it sounded so scarily similar to my own situation with my parents. Scratch that, it sounded exactly the same, except my problem was urges I had no control over and I survived my suicide attempt.

 

***

 

_ I felt the lump in my throat as I remembered the case. Clearing it, I said, “Sorry, that was more than you needed. As far as discipline is concerned, it's meant for correction, but it’s not striking a child. It’s patiently guiding your child so they understand why something is wrong, and it takes repetition until they finally get it. But if their idea of discipline leaves bruises or scars physically and emotionally, if it causes undue stress to the child or incites such fear that it stays with them all their lives, if it makes death look like the best way out... that's when it becomes abuse. There's a verse in the New Testament where Jesus tells the crowd that whoever causes a child to sin, it's better that a millstone be thrown around their neck and they be tossed into the sea. If those parents knew their book like they claimed, they would have known that.” _

 

***

“Matthew 18:6.” I said automatically after Finn brought up the verse from the New Testament. A habit from ‘Mother’s Lessons’ I couldn’t shake.

“Wh… When I hit puberty, I started to have these urges and thoughts. The bad kind. Please don’t ask me, I-I can’t tell you what they are - were. Anyway, my mother found out and was mortified. Which is completely understandable, anyone would be. She tried to get me to pray the sinful thoughts away, but, when that didn’t work, she went to the doctor and got me these pills. Said they’d make the problem go away. Zoloft, I think it was called. It’s used to treat depression, anxiety… Anyway, she made me start taking them and...it worked. The thoughts completely disappeared, it was like someone pushed a switch and I became asexual overnight.” I gulped. “Of course, it came with some pretty unpleasant side effects. I couldn’t sleep  _ at all _ . I’d go nights without sleeping a wink and would spend the day tired and completely out of it. I’d suffer from stomach pain, my hands shook. And then there was the warning that came with the drug: might cause suicidal thoughts.”

“It didn’t happen suddenly, it just creeped up on me. I’d be outside and then I’d find myself thinking, ‘Jump in front of the bus.’ Or I’d be at home and find myself thinking how to go about killing myself. I’d plan it all in my head, go over all the different ways, what would be the quickest, the least painful… I told my mother I couldn’t bear to be on them anymore, that it was literally killing me, but she wouldn’t listen. I was staying on them whether I liked it or not. If I was having such thoughts, then I needed to toughen up and try harder. The suicide attempt happened a week later when my then boyfriend, Caleb, broke up with me. Ironically, it was because of how I was acting when on those pills. He said I wasn’t there even when I was, that he didn’t want to commit himself to a woman like me. Basically, a polite way of saying I was a mess and not marriage material.” 

I finished my drink, my mouth having become dry from all the talking I was doing.

Finn’s words about acceptable discipline tactics went through my mind. “I never did get a slap on the wrist. My mother did slap my face.  _ A lot _ . Sometimes when I think or say something I know she wouldn’t approve of, I feel the urge to slap myself, because that’s what she would have done and I feel like I have to. As for spanking, they did that. Well, they used a belt and the belt buckle. Oh, and I had time-outs, too. They’d send me to my room and I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, not even to use the bathroom. Sometimes they’d also lock me outside in the garden. That was when I’d done something like wet the bed. They said, if I was going to act like an animal, I could live outside like one.”

I looked at Finn, expectantly. “So, that’s all normal, right? They did the things you suggested. Okay, I admit they did bruise me, but, you have to understand, I was a problem child. I was bad and they were at the end of their tether with me. You can only push someone so much before it gets too much. And besides, as the Bible says: ‘ _ Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts. _ ’ Proverbs 20:30.”

“You see. I was right about my parents. I wasn’t abused.”                    

***

_ I looked her straight in the eye, studying her like a witness in the courtroom. “You know what my parents did when I got to the age where I had weird, dirty thoughts, Teagan?” _

__

_ She shook her head slowly, clearly uncomfortable. _

__

_ “They sat down with me and we talked about it. It was... insanely awkward. But there was no screaming, no hitting, no blaming. They laughed and said that what I was feeling and thinking were normal, a sign my body was changing. Nothing to be ashamed of or hide. Just the way everyone knew they were growing up.” _

__

_ “You're not supposed to drug your child out of their very human impulses. It causes so much confusion and trouble at that age when you're supposed to be figuring out who you are. No, the drugging was not healthy. And unless your entire family were a bunch of asexual nuns who had sex via osmosis or some shit, I strongly doubt you were ever a problem child.” _

__

_ “How about this? I'll tell you what my thoughts were at that age. You tell me yours - remember, I will never judge you. And we'll compare notes. Sound good?” _

***

“No.” I shook my head, wide eyed with horror. “I can’t tell you.  _ I can’t. _ ”

I wanted to. God help me, I’d considered it, but who was I kidding? I  _ knew _ how it’d end. Finn said he wouldn’t judge me, but Father Doherty had said the exact same thing and that hadn’t turned out well. Caleb said the same thing and when I told him, he never looked at me the same way again. And, if the majority of people’s reactions to BDSM and the extreme stuff were anything to go by, I knew I’d never be accepted. I wasn’t going to let the recent popularity of 50 Shades of Grey and the like fool me, people would always look down on it and say that those who liked it and practised it were weird and wrong in the head.

“I lied to her. After the suicide attempt, I stopped taking the pills, but I hid it from her. I thought I could cheat. I’d deal with my urges and my thoughts and then I’d go to confession and receive forgiveness. If I’d known the priest would go behind my back and tell my mother, I wouldn’t have bothered. She found me doing something... _vile._ And,” my lip trembled as that awful, awful day replayed in my head. “You weren’t there.” My voice broke. “You weren’t there when she found me. You didn’t see how she looked at me, how she spoke to me. _She_ _kicked me out of the house and made me leave town over it._ That should tell you how bad I was.”

“Ne-Next thing you’re going to tell me that my mother’s lessons were also abuse and not her trying to raise me to be as good a Christian as her.”

***

_ “Teagan…” I tried to maintain control of my tone, even though I knew it would get away from me. “That's what I, Father Cody, and the Austins have been trying to say. A mother teaches her daughter about her body when she has questions about things... things that might scare her, things that hurt or feel uncomfortable. A mother is supposed to hold you and tell you it will be alright. A mother is compassionate and embarrassingly direct about things, but never mean or cruel, whether Christian or not.” _

__

_ “And she sure as hell wouldn't have kicked you out for protecting yourself from harmful side effects and finding a way to sate your urges. That wasn't discipline. That wasn't love. That wasn't guidance. It was _ **_abuse_ ** _ , pure and simple. It was controlling, overbearing, hypocritical, and as non-Christian as can be. This shouldn't have been your life. You did nothing to deserve this!” My voice might have cracked somewhere along the way. But I couldn't be bothered to care. I wanted her to open her eyes, to wake up to her horrible upbringing, to know it wasn't her fault. _

__

_ But I also knew that it was up to her. It  _ **_had_ ** _ to be up to her. _

__

_ I stood up to walk about for a moment. Even I couldn't believe how affected I had become. And I knew there was little I could do if she refused to see the truth. _

__

_ I tried again, calmer this time. “You don't have to believe me, Teagan. If it was just my thoughts, I can understand. But if others are telling you this, people you know and trust, ask yourself: why do you keep your eyes closed?” _

***

I stared at Finn as he stood up and walked away momentarily. He...was getting quite upset. I hadn’t expected this. Then again, I rarely brought up my parents in conversation, and when I did, I left out most of the information I was telling him right now.

Was...was I really wrong all along about my parents? After years upon years of being told one thing, was I really supposed to believe that it had all been wrong?!

I blinked. “Wh-What do you mean? I’m not keeping my eyes closed, I- _ I’m following the Bible! _ ”

I felt myself becoming frustrated. Not so much at Finn, but at the situation in general. 

 

Suddenly, I was ranting away. “Every time my mother ‘abused’ me, she would quote something from that goddamn book. You know, my faith, the thing that I have to live my entire life by and will decide where I go when I die?! Everything she said is  _ all there in the book _ ! God is on their side! Look!”

I began to recite Bible verses to prove my point.

“‘ _ He who curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness. _ ’ Proverbs 20:20.”

“‘ _ Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching; _ ’ Proverbs 1:8.”

“‘ _ For God said, 'HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER,' and, 'HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH. _ ’ Matthew 15:4.”

“‘ _ Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. _ ’-”

I went to say the text that quote from, but froze when my mind came up with a complete blank. My eyes widened as I wracked my brain to remember. _No...this can’t be happening..._ _I should know this._ ** _Why don’t I know this?!_**

“Proverbs… No, no, that’s not it. Erm… Ho-Hold on, I-I know this. It’s Luke- No, it’s Matth- Oh God… Oh God, I can’t remember it! _Why can’t I remember it??_ ”

How long had it been since I couldn’t quote a piece of text from a Bible? Too long, but the memory of my mother standing there, waiting,  _ demanding _ I remember and recite it back to her perfectly, was as fresh as if it had happened yesterday. It was like I was seven or nine years old all over again, having just spent an hour reading a chapter and being tested on how much I’d taken in. If I answered mother correctly, then I was good.

And if I couldn’t and I was bad…

Fear wracked my body. My hands became clammy and I dug my nails into my knees as I tried and tried to remember.

***                                                  

_ She looked shaken as she struggled to remember. This was precisely what I meant. I walked back and knelt down next to her legs, placing my hands over her trembling ones. Gently, I said, “Breathe, Teagan. Breathe. You did nothing wrong. Not then, not now.” _

__

_ Her eyes closed, head shaking no as though she didn't believe it. I wanted to go easier on her, but I also knew that she was on the verge of where she needed to be. Her soul was fighting, crying out in pain. _

__

_ My forehead met her and, eyes closed, I pleaded, “I need you to hear me, Teagan. Hear what I have to say. This is not normal. You should not be this terrified of forgetting a Bible verse. She isn't here to punish you, and I certainly would never hurt you like that. You're not a bad girl, a bad Christian, or even a bad person at all. I've known bad people, mind you. And no one should have told you that you were. Not your parents, not their friends. You're a kind, selfless, beautiful woman who puts others before you, who survived the worst of times and still kept your compassion, who is probably a far better Christian than anyone I've ever known, and I'm certain your mother didn't teach you that. You're a good woman, and...you don't even know that, because you were made to hate yourself, and that should never be. Because you are wonderful.” _

***

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t remember. It’s too much. I’m sorry.”

It might not have seemed that way, but Finn’s words did reach me. They dug down inside me, where the root of my mother’s influence had set itself deep, and yanked hard. His words both hurt me and healed me.

However, the more I tried to remember the quote and failed, the more terrified I became.

Suddenly I wasn’t at home anymore, enjoying a pizza dinner with Finn.

Then, I was transported back to those torturous one hour lessons of my childhood. Father Cody and others preached of a loving, welcoming God, but I saw none of that back then as a child. Even now, I struggle. I only saw what my mother told me to see and that’s to devote myself to my faith, to follow everything to the letter, and suffer the consequences if I didn’t.

I once heard a quote that went, “ _ Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. _ ” Well, for me, God was not kind. And God was not forgiving. He was vengeful and quick to anger. He scared me more than anything.

He (She) was  _ soul destroying _ .

_ “I want you to read this for one hour. After the time is up, I’m going to test you. Let us see if your faith is strong and you’ve taken the words of our Lord to heart.” _

__

_ “‘Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name.’” _

__

_ “...Deuteronomy 10:20.” _

__

_ “Good. ‘Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.’” _

__

_ “John 3...3:36.” _

__

_ “I will give you a quote this time. ‘In spite of all this they still sinned And did not believe in His wonderful works. So He brought their days to an end in futility And their years in sudden terror.’ Which is?” _

__

_ “...Erm………” _

__

_ “‘ _ **_In spite of all this they still sinned And did not believe in His wonderful works. So He brought their days to an end in futility And their years in sudden terror.’_ ** _ ” _

__

_ “I don’t know… Corinthian? There’s a 33 in there. I...can’t remember…” _

__

_ “ _ **_You don’t remember?_ ** _ Lies! You did not let God into your heart! If you had, you would have no trouble citing the scripture. Wicked child!” _

__

_ “I-I’m sorry! I tried, but it’s too much! I can’t remember all of it. I’m sorry!” _

__

_ “You apologise, but you will not learn. And you will not learn until I put the fear of God into you. You must be pious, you must be diligent, you must be good! There is evil in you, child, don’t you see? There is evil there and the only way you can rid yourself of it is by praying and devoting yourself to the Lord. And, once again, you have failed and disappointed me.” _

__

_ “So, what will your punishment be this time?” _

__

_ “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me! I’m sorry! Mother, please.” _

__

_ “Go run a bath. Fill up the tub till it’s completely full with cold water. We shall baptise you of your sins for today. By the end of it, you will know the scripture.” _

__

_ “NO, PLEASE!! I’M SORRY, PLEASE, I’M SCARED! NOT THE BATHTUB, PLEASE.” _

__

_ “Take a deep breath, Teagan.” _

__

Tears streaming down my face, I remembered how she held my head under the water right until the last minute. She kept reciting the scripture I couldn’t remember and, if I got it wrong, she’d dunk my head again and hold it until I was close to drowning. And she kept doing this over and over again until I could recite it back perfectly.  _ Three times. _ Only then would the punishment end.

I couldn’t breath. Hyperventilating like the crazy, I tried to remember the source of the quote. Something terrible would happen if I didn’t. Something terrible  _ always _ happened. It had been conditioned into my since the moment I could talk.  _ Remember the Bible verse  _ **_or else._ **

“I have to remember, I have to!” I was hysterical. I curled up against Finn like he was a lifeboat and I was drowning in the sea. “If I don’t, she’s going to get mad and she’s going to hurt me and, oh God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t put me in the bathtub, don’t burn me, don’t lock me in the box, oh God, oh God, oh God…!! Please make it stop! Why are you doing this to me, I’ve done nothing wrong!”

That’s when it hit me. I could excuse the other punishments - I was clumsy, I was acting in a way my parents didn’t approve, my urges were sick - but as a child? When it came to those ‘lessons’? I couldn’t.

I was never a naughty child. I never acted out, and I was never a brat. I did  _ nothing _ to warrant the slaps, nor the harsh looks and comments, or those punishments. If anything, I went out of my way to try and earn my parent’s approval, to avoid their ire. But, no matter what I did, it was never good enough. There was always something wrong. 

And here was another cold, ugly truth: My parents never wanted me, but they had no choice because my mother wasn’t willing to live with the ‘shame’ of giving up her child for adoption. So they begrudgingly brought me up and made me spend everyday of my childhood wishing I’d never been born.

I never stopped loving them, but, at the same time...

__

_ I hate them so much! _

Finally, I broke down.

***

_ She shook as I enfolded her in my arms, body wracked with sobs and cries. Her pain was deep, soul-shattering, buried under years of false rhetoric and trauma disguised as teaching. _

__

_ I held her close, speaking softly to her as she wept. Telling her to let go, it's alright, you're still here, you're so strong, breathe, breathe, that's it. _

__

_ Teagan had to break at some point. This, her childhood, was a barrier that she would never have pushed through otherwise. If she had without help, it would have surely broken her. I cursed the angels who observed her abuse from their perches but never intervened. There was nothing to justify this. Nothing. _

__

_ At this rate, whoever looked upon this without helping, then had the gall to judge me were just as guilty as her parents. _

***

How long did I stay in Finn’s arms sobbing? I completely lost track of time, much too consumed by my grief. The dam that was years of repressed trauma and unhappy memories had finally burst and come spilling out, and with it all the things I didn’t want to ever accept.

I excused my parents’ never-ending punishments, blatant contempt, and religious zealotry as them caring too much, of being the bad one, or not being a good enough Christian. It was easier than admitting the abuse, how they imposed their unhealthy view of religion onto me.

“I-I used to look at all the other kids with their parents and would think, ‘Why don’t they love me like that?’ M-My mother said it was because I was born bad and I believed her. Parents are supposed to love you, so if your ones don’t, then there  _ must _ be something wrong with you.” I cried.  

“Sh-She gave one hour lessons every week. I had to read the Bible and memorise the quotes. If I couldn’t do it, word for word, she punished me. She did so many horrible things to me, I still have nightmares over it. Sh-She’d hold my head under freezing cold water until I was close to drowning. She’d force me to drink until I was dying to go and would then forbid me. When I couldn’t hold it in any longer, she’d beat me. She locked me in this small box and I couldn’t sit or lie down.”

I’d never told anyone about this, not even Father Cody. I think it was because I always knew what kind of reaction I’d receive if I did. And I didn’t want to face that. I  _ couldn’t. _

And then Finn Bálor came into my life and in one short week that was all changing.

“I just wished I’d never being born.” I finished. “I didn’t start to feel like I was living any kind of life until I got to this place. Before that...it was literally a living Hell.”

***

_ “I'm so sorry, lovely.” _

__

_ I had so few words. I wanted her to keep talking. To get this out of her system. _

__

_ I stayed and listened. _

***

“I-I’m so  _ angry _ inside. At the people in town for doing nothing about it. There were parents who knew the kind of people they were, but they didn’t care so long as it didn’t cause them any trouble. The cops, the people at church, they all said my mother and father were such good people and I should be grateful to have them. I was too afraid to do or say anything because I knew no one would help me. So I put up with it and eventually I started to believe everything that was said about me was true.”

“I-I-I hate my mother for what she’s done to me. She’s crippled me in so many ways. I hate how she’s made me treat my faith like she treated hers. I would  _ love _ to be like the laidback Christians out there, but I can’t. I am  _ consumed _ with Catholic guilt. I hate how she stopped me from pursuing an education when I had the chance, leaving me with  _ no _ qualifications. I hate how she made me hate myself, how I can’t even take a fucking compliment because she made me feel less than human. I hate my father for blaming me for being born a girl, like that’s my fault, and making my life a living hell growing up”

“But, more than anything, I hate how my mother doesn’t care! The day she disowned me, I was literally begging on my feet and she turned her back on me and walked away like it meant nothing to her. Like  _ I _ meant nothing to her. I hate how she’s probably going on with her life, never once wondering if I’m even alive or dead, while I’m here, picking up the pieces of my life, and crying myself to sleep some nights over her.”

Having said as much as I could, I exhaled, letting all that pent-up rage and sorrow sink out of me with it.

“Life’s a piece of shit when you look at it.” I quoted Monty Python’s ‘ _ Always Look on the Bright Side of Life _ ’ bitterly.

***

_ “Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true,” I responded gently. One does not simply ignore a Monty Python reference. _

__

_ I returned to my spot on the couch next to her and pulled her in until her head rested on my chest. It was so natural to stroke her hair and massage her scalp at this point I hardly thought twice. _

__

_ “How do you feel now?” _

***

“Like shit.” I said frankly. “I feel like someone’s ripped out my soul, brought out every bad feeling and memory I’ve ever had, forced me to remember them all over again, and then stomped on me a couple of times for good measure.”

“...On the plus side...it is a big relief to know that my mother wasn’t completely right about everything she said about me. I’m not as bad or worthless as I think I am.”

Enjoying the sensation of Finn stroking my head, a smile - the first one to grace my face since my meltdown - formed on my lips. “You got the Monty Python reference. Are you a fellow fan of the films?”

***

_ “I am. Have all the films, specials, and Flying Circus episodes. And yes, I can quote just about all of 'em.” That's no exaggeration. I'm just that much of a fan of their irreverent humor. Plus, their work tends to do well in torture chambers. _

__

_ “I'll have to bring them by sometime,” I offered. “We’ll pick a few and do a marathon.” _

***

“Definitely have to bring Life of Brian and the Holy Grail.” I agreed, my voice croaking slightly from the yelling I’d been doing up until a minute ago. “I mean, Biggus Dickus and the Knight’s fighting scenes are comedy genius.”

I sighed. “You win.”

***

_ “I win?” I look down at the top of her head, a bit puzzled.   _

 

***

I looked up at him. “I was certain you were going to leave eventually. You’d find out more and more about me, about my life, and then you’d reach a point where you wouldn’t be able to take it anymore and you’d go.”

“But, after tonight, you’ve seen the very worst of me and you’re still here, just like you said you’d be.” I smiled. “So you win.”

“...Unless I’ve got it wrong?” I asked, heart sinking a little. Was this it?

***

_ I gave her a soft smile. “Lass, if you've been paying attention, you should know that I don't scare easily. I'm here because I want to be, and because you're someone worth knowing. So nope, you've got it right. I'm still here.” I rested a palm against her cheek. “That is, if you still want me to be.” _

***

“Are you seriously asking me that question? Of course I do! You’re pretty much the best thing in my life right now.” I said, smiling.

I shifted around so that I was lying facing him, rather than with my back to him. “So, now that it’s decided that you’re the winner...what do you want? I said I’d give you whatever you wanted and I stand by that. ...So? You don’t have to tell me now, by the way, it can wait if you haven’t made up your mind yet.”

***

_ “I know precisely what I want,” I replied, gazing upon her exhausted but smiling face. “It’s something I've wanted for a couple of days now. But I won't claim it yet...not until I know it's something that you want, too. It's not something I can just take without your permission. And don't worry, it's likely not what you think,” I chuckled. _

***

I had no idea what he could be referring to. There was a part of me that had considered it was sex, but, thankfully, Finn’s comment at the end seemed to refute this line of thinking. In hindsight, I doubt he would have expected such a thing considering the talk we’d had yesterday morning about how sex before marriage is big no-no in my religion.

So, what could it be? I was too tired to figure it out right now, but I’d definitely be spending the remaining days until Friday trying to guess.

I rubbed my eyes. They were starting to ache, a sure fire sign they were tired.

“I know it’s early, but I think I’m going to head on to bed. I’m emotionally shattered and my eyes will be killing me in an hour if I don’t rest them now.” I told Finn, pulling myself up, first from his chest, then from the couch.

“Thanks. For everything. Especially today, though.”

***

_ “Anytime, Teagan.” I straightened up and stretched my arms, carefully standing up and helping Teagan to her feet. _

__

_ I give her a huge hug, and tell her, “I'll leave you to rest. Take it easy tonight, okay? And if you need to talk, I'm only one call - or text - away.” _

***

I nodded, returning the hug. “Yeah, sure. I’ll try not to, though. Give you a break from me until Friday. Father Cody can listen to me cry my heart out instead. He’s been telling me for ages that the ‘healing process’ wouldn’t ever begin until I faced how abusive they were. So, I guess that’s happening now. If it’s going to be anything like tonight, I’m in for a pretty rough week. Hopefully I’ll be alright for our date on Friday. I’m looking forward to that.”

I was well aware that my problems wouldn’t disappear overnight. I had a long road ahead of me. A road of slowly but surely repairing the damage done to me by my parent’s upbringing, from my shattered self-esteem, to the crushing Catholic guilt, and so on. It wasn’t going to be easy, but, if what Father Cody said, I’d be all the better for it in the end. A happier person. 

And, really, that’s all I’d ever wanted in life. Not riches, not fame, not beauty. Just to be happy.

I walked Finn to the door. “Enjoy your week off, okay? Don’t try to spend it all working.”

“Oh right!” I ran back inside and retrieved the Tupperware of cookies.

I handed it to Finn. “Give these to your boss!”

***

_ “Of course! I'm sure he'll love them.” I took the sealed bowl of treats from her and began to walk away, but stopped and turned back. “And please, don't worry about giving me a break, okay? If it ever becomes too much, I'll let you know, but I doubt that will ever happen. Have a restful night, Teagan.” _

__

_ I drove to the firm and dropped off Regal's cookies to the night watchman so they would be on his desk in the morning. _


	17. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn gets a visit from an old friend.

_ When I arrived at my apartment, I had a change of clothes and shook off the heaviness of Teagan's breakdown. The emotional ordeal was far more difficult to watch than I anticipated, not to mention it had happened so fast. It was as if I'd taken a sledgehammer to her foundation and all but demolished it. I would return shortly to check on her. _

_ She needed this. It wasn’t pretty or pleasurable, but she needed this. There was a great deal of work and healing to do. But her soul would shine all the better for it. _

_ And I would claim it for my own. Nothing will stop the plan. _

_ “‘ _ **_Come away, O human child, to the waters and the wild, with a faery, hand in hand. For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand._ ** _ ’” A slightly boyish female’s voice with an Irish accent broke through the silence. _

_ Suddenly, a bright light erupted in the room. Once it had faded, there stood a woman with orange-red hair that burned like fire, adored in a steampunk outfit of goggles on her head and a coat jacket. Her eyes glowed a deep-sea green, but quickly faded to brown. _

_ “Long time no see, Fergal.” She greeted warmly. _

_ “Don’t call me that name.” _

_ “Oh, right! You're ‘Finn Bálor’ now,” she playfully teased. _

_ Becky Lynch, Heaven's most fiery seraph. She was single-handedly responsible for bringing order to the chaos above after both wars and the disappearance of God. Unlike much of her kind, Becky is of the proactive, progressive generation - she gets things done and has the research and experience to back it up. _

_ She's one of the few featherheads I have respect for. _

_ “Nice to see you too, Becky,” I sneered in jest. We have an odd relationship, much like a big sister/little brother, never mind that I'm older than she. “So... you're here to talk me out of the path with Teagan Dunn, I take it.” _

_ Becky simply smiled. “Now, why would I do a thing like that when I don’t even know what your intentions are for the girl?” _

_ “Let’s see if I can guess.” Stretching, she made her way to a nearby seat and sat down, her legs dangling off the sides. “With the exception of the new angels, like Bayley, Sami, Cesaro, Asuka - you know, the gang - the rest are convinced that you’re planning to corrupt her soul and eat her. That or corrupt her and change her into a demon. Course, we both know that’s a whole load of rubbish. Nothing you’ve done or said to that girl has led her down the path of sin. You’d have to be an idiot not to see that.” _

_ “Plus, that’s not you. No matter how much you like to play the part of the big, scary Demon King, there’s still good in you.” Her smile softened and a look that was close to adoration came into her eyes. “I should know more than anyone.”  _

_ “At least you know that much,” I said, giving credit. “And if you know that, then maybe you can tell me why Heaven has taken such an interest in someone who has been so badly neglected after ignoring them this whole time? Suddenly I enter the picture, doing what they wouldn’t, and they’re ready to knock me on my ass?” _

_ Becky raised an eyebrow. She clearly understood my sentiments to an extent. _

_ “Who said this has got anything to do with Teagan Dunn?” She said frankly. “Look, try and see this from their point of view. Since the day you took the throne as the Demon King, you’ve always gone after the voids, so, when you suddenly start setting your sights on an innocent soul, the Guides start to get worried. They start thinking, ‘What if the demons are starting to break the rules? What if you’re looking to start another war?’ Now, I can’t speak for the Old Guard, but the new generation doesn't want any of that. We want to keep the peace.” _

_ “Then you got the Warrior angels, like Big Show and AJ Styles, who are  _ **_dying_ ** _ to get into a fight. Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but some of them really hate demons and have zero tolerance for you guys, whether you serve a purpose or not.” She joked. “And then you got the higher ups, the Authority, who make all the rules, but do absolutely feck all. They’ll say it’s because it’s for the greater good - one soul isn’t worth starting a war over - and free will and all that, but, let’s be honest, they just don’t care. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that they don’t care much for humanity at all.” _

_ “So, in short, they don’t care about the girl, they care about what you coveting her soul represents for Heaven and Hell.” Becky finished, exhaling loudly. _

_ “I’ve no intent of violating any rules, Becks. No one wants a war, myself least of all,” I assured. “We’ve seen far too much loss. I mean, we might be a buncha shady bastards, but the last thing we need is to be on the verge of yet another extinction-level event.” _

_ I stood up. “Teagan’s soul...it caught my eye, yes, but because it was so unusual. It shone, but it was a touch dim, so I almost mistook it for a void at first. But when I realized that she wasn’t, it made me curious. And I felt sorry for her - she went through things even I wouldn’t wish on someone. Thing is, the more I try to help, the more she…” I sighed heavily. _

_ “I remember my humanity whenever I’m around her,” I confided. “It’s not weakness, I know. But...it’s unnerving.” _

_ “I’m not surprised. We were all humans once. We’re all capable of feeling things like they do. Might not be the exact same, but it’s still there. Well…not the Old Guards, but they’re a dying breed at this point. ...Thank God for that.” She muttered lowly.  _

_ “I’m not here on Heaven’s behalf, Finn. I’m not some messenger girl. If The Authority or Shane and Daniel Bryan have problems with what you’re doing, then they can come down and have words with you themselves.” Becky sat up, now serious. “But I’m also not here to banter and catch up on old times. I’m here today to do what no one else will do and that’s fight for Teagan Dunn.” _

_ “...What are you doing, Fergal?” The angel asked, and now there was a sad tone in her voice. “What do you hope to gain from any of this? The girl’s suffered enough, so let her soul go to Heaven and find some peace.” _

_ She paused and then asked, “...Do you really hate Heaven that much? Is that what this is about? Getting revenge for what happened to you and your-” _

_ “ _ **_Stop._ ** _ ” I halted her line of thought quickly, warning her not to go down that road with me.  The worst of it was that she was right, as always.  _

_ “I can’t stop now, Becks. And it’s not…” I struggled with my words. “I’d never let any of  them harm her - they would have to kill me first. I know what she’s been through. And Heaven doesn’t fucking deserve her. Given their way, she would have died a long time ago.” _

_ “I know you wouldn’t. Like I said, I know you. I’ve known you since we were both humans and, as long as I see some semblance of the man you used to be, Fergal Devitt, you will always have a friend in me. You haven’t lost your humanity yet, it’s still there, just buried under the darkness that comes with the title of Demon King Bálor.” _

_ Becky sighed then. “I get it, you know. Where you’re coming from. The McMahons will say that there are rules in place for a reason, and we’d be imposing on the humans free will, but there are loopholes. You demons make a living out of exploiting them! So we couldn’t swoop down and protect her or mete out divine justice on the parents, but an angel could have persuaded a human in the position to help, to do something. But they didn’t. They failed her, just like they failed all the other poor, broken humans in this world.” _

_ Spitting out the last bit, the woman glared out the window, and up at the sky. “The angels in Heaven are just as much a bunch of sheep as the demons in Hell. They follow orders and they don’t question it. Even the new angels. They worship the ground Hunter walks on, would do anything for him. Only difference is you have to subjugate yours through fear and violence, while the Authority rule us with the threat of Falling.” _

_ Becky huffed, looking incredibly fed up. “...Do you think God will ever come back?” _

_ I joined her at the window, leaning my back against the glass. “If you were forced to destroy your firstborn child after he rebelled and turned the whole of your creation against you...would  _ **_you_ ** _ want to come back?” _

_ A deep sigh. “I wish things were different. That we didn’t have any of this bullshit. If God did return, I wouldn’t blame Him if he decided to wipe out the lot of us and start over. On the other hand, though, he’d be the biggest fucking hypocrite in existence. It’s like, own your shit and clean up your mess, damn it.” _

_ Becky gave a bitter laugh. “Yeah, because drowning your creations save for one or two is an acceptable solution. Rather than actually deal with the problem, He decided to just kill His kids when they got too out of control and start another family? I know it’s our God, we wouldn’t be here if not for Him, but for fuck’s sake!” _

_ “If you ask me, I don’t think He ever will. He’s abandoned the ship and probably started again somewhere else, leaving us all to deal with our own mess. The only reason we never saw a Genesis Version 2.0 was because He promised Noah that he’d never do it again. Guess we got that much to be thankful for, huh?” _

_ The angel placed her hand on the glass. Outside, it had started to pour with rain, as if Heaven was despairing (which it probably was. The Old Guard wanted their Father to return more than anything). _

_ “Still,” she murmured, expression now sad. “You’ve got to pity the humans. The broken, the desperate, the fanatics. They turn to God in their time of need, believe He loves them, will forgive and watch over them...only to reach Heaven’s gates to find that God was never there at all. Is it any wonder we had a bunch of them falling to Hell to become demons or begging you to just wipe them from existence? We’re pretty much pulling a ‘Wizard of Oz’ so they don’t find out, but how long can we keep that going for?” _

_ “No idea,” I replied. “It’s a difficult thing to witness. We do what we can to stem the tide, but it’s certainly not any easier to see such desperation in souls. Are they so willing to meet Oblivion?” _

_ I look over at her. “I’m actually amazed you’ve kept it going this far. If not for you, the angels would have destroyed themselves by now. If God ever returns, you would be entitled to punching him right in His self-righteous face.” _

_ Becky laughed out loud at that. “Oh, believe me, I will!” _

_ The laughter quickly died as she turned back to me. I steeled myself, knowing she was about to pick up right where she left off on the matter of Teagan Dunn’s soul. _

_ “I know your plan, Finn. You’re going to heal the girl, bring out the best in her. And, once her soul shines as bright as it can possibly get, once she’s achieved happiness and inner peace, you’re going to steal her soul away to Hell.” _

_ “Now, you said it yourself, you wouldn’t let anyone hurt her, but let’s get real here, Finn. This is Hell we’re talking about. Voids are tortured and tormented by the place. It’s not hospitable for human souls. Plus, there's the demons under your charge. They follow your orders, but they’re also a fickle, greedy bunch, and the second they sense any weakness, they start getting ideas into their heads. You honestly trust them not to pull any shit? You barely managed to stop Paige from breaking her mind. Oh yeah, I know.” She nodded her head when I raised a questioning eyebrow. “Word travels fast. Heaven doesn’t want the humans knowing about our existence anymore than you guys do. Can’t have them finding out we’re literally Godless.” _

_ “I _ **_don’t_ ** _ trust them. But if I didn’t think for a moment I could protect her from all that, I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea. I’m not an idiot, Becks, so don’t speak as if I am. You recall the man I was, who I had to become to subdue them...I know the nature of the demon runs in my blood now, pumps through my heart. But Teagan…” _

_ Exasperated and, to a degree, humbled, I added after a long pause, “I didn’t want to travel down this road. But when I saw her state, I couldn’t abandon her. I can’t let Heaven claim another prize for their complacency and take credit for what they had no part in. No more! They failed me as they did countless others. I won’t let that happen to Teagan. If they want her, if they want to make a big fucking deal about it, they can come see me themselves and I’ll tell them the same! I don’t want a fight - I want them to step the fuck up and claim responsibility!” _

_ “But they won’t, that’s why I’m here!” Becky shot back, clearly growing frustrated. “The Authority won’t stop you. All they’ll do is give you a little slap on the wrist, and then go back to looking down on the rest of humanity. The other angels might cause a big stir, but they won’t do anything so long as they’re ordered not to.  _ **_No one_ ** _ is going to help Teagan Dunn!” _

_ “Story of her life, isn’t it?” I huffed bitterly. “Don’t think I’m being obtuse in repeating myself...I just know that, based on personal experience, certain factions do happen to care what I do. And like it or not, Becky, they'll try going over your head to get at me. So I'm saying this for the feather headed fucks in back: Teagan Dunn is mine.” _

_ Her eyes glowing a deep-sea green, Becky glared at me, though I wasn’t the object of her ire. Hers was at the inner workings of Heaven had set in place, one I was gleefully exploiting for own gains. _

_ “Finn, I say this in the most respectful way possible: Don’t kid yourself that you’re any better.” She said. “You may be starting to care for that girl now, but you had sinister intentions planned the very second you laid eyes on her. And no matter how you try to sugarcoat it, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re pretty much going to steal Teagan Dunn’s life away from her and send her to Hell. You’re going to lock her soul away in a gilded cage, then rub it in Heaven’s face as a giant fuck you, knowing no one will dare stop you. You’re doing this out of twisted obsession and petty revenge, pure and simple.” _

_ “But what about Teagan Dunn? Doesn’t  _ **_she_ ** _ get a say about what you’ve got in store for her? What happened to free will and choice, Finn? She should get to decide where her immortal soul ends up. You can’t force that kind of fate on her!” _

_ I turned a fiery gaze upon her, though my anger wasn’t with her. “For all your knowledge, you have no idea what I care about. Or even what she wants. Right now, all she wants is to heal and not be terrified anymore.  _ **_That’s_ ** _ where my focus is now. Can I change this path? Yes! But I'm in too deep. I can't walk away from her now and risk something worse. Do you want that on your head? I don’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I'm going to check in on her. She’s had a trying day, I need to know she’s alright.” _

_ I took my jacket and went for the door. Before I turn the knob, I turn back to Becky. “Despite this fucked-up demonic obsession that I have with her soul... you’re wrong. I  _ **_do_ ** _ care. More than even I can process.” With that, I left. _

_ However, it seemed Becky wanted her final say. As I walked away, I heard her voice echoing from behind me. _

_ “I owe you a debt, Fergal Devitt, so I’m not going to fight you on this. When the time comes - and I know it will - I will lend you my help. Just remember: You cannot lock someone up against their will. A caged bird won’t sing no matter how much you wish it to...and an innocent soul won’t shine. It  _ **_has_ ** _ to be her choice.” _

_ I nodded in reluctant agreement. Once again, I had to admit she was right. “When the time comes... I will call for you. And she will choose her eternal fate. I won’t lie to you - the demon inside...the way it consumes me... I will rein it in as best as I can. I will honor Teagan's choice. You have my word.” _

_ “...Let’s hope it’s not the demon that wins in the end.” Was the only answer I received. _

_ The angelic aura of Becky Lynch disappeared, signalling to me that she’d flown off back to Heaven. I gave my word and I meant it. _

_ A searing pain flared in my chest, but only for a moment. It dissipated as quickly as it came. It wasn't a new feeling - it was Bálor stirring within per usual. It only does that when it's fully digested a demon soul - and it approves. I set out on my way. _

_ *** _

After saying goodbye to Finn, I spent the remainder of my night just milling about, unsure what to do with myself. I’d intended to go to sleep, but my aching eyes were a constant distraction, as were my thoughts over the revelations about my parents.

Once I opened my eyes to the abuse, like a line of dominos falling down, I started seeing all the signs that had been staring me right in the face all along.

Not wanting to stew over it all night, I took some melatonin and tried reverse psychology on my body. If it wouldn’t let me go to sleep the normal way, then I just wasn’t going to sleep at all. I’d stay up the whole night if I had to.

Predictably, that did the trick. After an hour of reading my latest book ( _ Let the Right One In _ ), I was dozing. Within minutes, I was fast asleep…

***

_ I found her sleeping, book in hand. Hmmm... great choice. Plus, she is adorable. _

_ I couldn’t pretend, no matter how I tried to convince my mind that I could in order to make this work. Teagan had worked her way under my skin and into my head. But...would she want to stay with me when she discovered the truth. _

_ I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. _

_ Shaking these thoughts off for now, I touch her temple to peer once again into her dreams. Hopefully they would be better than last night. _


	18. Meeting Balor, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are funny things, aren't they?

Tonight, my dream was like something right out of ‘Taken’. God knows why my mind had conjured up such a dream in the first place but, by this point, I’d long since stopped questioning it. Really I was just relieved all the talk about my parents hadn’t led to another nightmare.

In the dream, I looked like the way I did when I was homeless, thousand yard stare and all. The human traffickers who’d kidnapped me (shouldn’t have opted to hitchhike rather than walk to the next town) had cleaned me up, preparing to sell me off as quick as possible. Apparently, despite my poor condition, I was something of a diamond in the rough. Why, I had no idea. 

“ _ The next item we have a Snow White. Speaks English, and some Italian. Mixed race. The beginning will begin at $50,000. Who’d like to start the bidding? _ ” A sultry woman’s voice spoke out to the packed room.

I watched from my spot behind the curtain, all kinds of bitter and angry. After putting all that effort into staying safe and sane and healthy, this was how it ended for me? Winding up being sold as a sex slave on the black market to some rich (and probably old) pervert? How was that fair? What had I done to deserve this?

Well, whoever bought me had another thing coming. First chance I got, I was going to escape. And, if I couldn’t, then I was going to  _ make _ them get rid of me.

***

_ She has the most interesting dreams. Seriously, the scenario creates itself! _

_ Well, if this is her pleasure, far be it from me to deny her… _

_ *** _

“ _ Sold for $220,000. _ ”

I watch as the girl before me is led offstage, then my eyes fall on the man who bought her. He’s exactly as I imagined him to be: Fat and disgusting. The kind of man who had a harem of girls to bow to his every whim.

“ _ And now for the last item- _ ”

My captor grabbed my arm and none too gently shoved me forward towards the stage. “Go. You’re up. Don’t try and run.”

I stumbled forward, quickly regaining my footing before shooting him a dirty look.  _ Asshole. _ Did he think I was stupid enough to pull such a stunt? I was literally locked in this darkened room, surrounded by the human traffickers who had kidnapped me and wouldn’t hesitate to put me down if I resisted in anyway.

Coming to a stop in the middle of the stage, I gazed with dead eyes at the bidders I could just make out in the darkness.  _ Which one of you is it going to be? _

The unseen woman continued to narrate. “ _ Here we have a Rapunzel. Caucasian. Speaks English. Certified pure and clean. The bidding will begin at $150,000. _ ”

It didn’t take long for the hands to raise up the paddles and for the current bid to increase.

***

_ I sat just offsides, watching the auction. Rapunzel, was it? If her hair reached the floor it would make a lot more sense. Yet it doesn't stop her from looking both innocent and strong-willed, like a lost princess. _

_ The last bid came from a greasy, crude-looking fellow with his concubine on a leash. Nope, not today. _

_ I raised my paddle in the air. _

__

_ “$350,000 by the gentleman offsides! Anyone for $355,000?” _

__

_ *** _

$350,000. It was grotesquely surreal to think that I was already going $115,000 more than what the girl before me was bought for. Not to mention the bidding didn’t even seem close to ending.

I couldn’t see who just bidded right now. Whoever it was was too far at the back, hidden in the shadows.

The one before him, however, was directly in my line of sight. I gulped back bile when I saw the man. He looked like a basement dweller who came into money and decided to make his fantasies a reality. The kind who had a whole cage of women he kept on leashes and treated like dogs when he wasn’t using them as sex slaves.

I would literally prefer a bullet to the head then wind up with that man.

“$400,000.”

Another bidder I couldn’t see. How much longer was this going to go on for?

***

_ That couldn't be legal. I was certain he was working the auction. But there, on the other side of the crowd opposite of me, was a portly man who looked as though he kept a harem. He made that bid? I'd say he'd had enough. _

_ I raised my paddle again, ready to go the long haul. _

_ $450,000!” _

_ I smiled as the concubine-walker backed off - too rich for his amateurish blood, I take it. Now to fend off the other asshole. _

_ *** _

__

“$500,000!”

I bit my lip. The waiting was intense. The fact that I couldn’t see either bidders made it even worse. I needed to know what I was dealing with, if escape would even be possible. I feared I might end up with someone so rich that they had all their bases covered. That, once I ended up with them, I could kiss any semblance of a life goodbye.

It wouldn’t go any higher after this, surely. It was half a million by this point.

***

_ Playing hardball, was he? _

__

_ “$500,000! Can I get $525,000?” _

__

_ I raised my paddle again. _

__

_ “$525,000 to the gentleman offsides!” _

__

_ No problem. Unlike him, I had quite the stamina. And for Teagan, I was prepared to go all night. _

__

_ “$525,000 - can I get $550,000?” _

__

_ Bring it on. _

***

At this point, I was fairly certain that the rising bids was no longer random, but a stand-off between two bidders. It was a damn shame I couldn’t see them, I had no way of knowing which I’d prefer or which would be easier to handle.

The bidding war continued on, neither backing down.

“$550,000!”

“$600,000!”

“$700,000!”

Eventually it came to a whopping $800,000. Something told me that what happened from here-on would decide the winner. One half of the bidders had become noticeably lukewarm, only bidding at the last minute (I assumed it was less desire for me at this point and more a matter of pride). As for the other, they’d bid each and every time without hesitation. I had a feeling they wouldn’t stop, even if the bidding price went past a million. Either they were obscenely rich or they really wanted me.

***

_ I couldn't stop the smirk on my face. I even stepped into the light, just so he might see the face of the man who just outbid him. _

_ “$825,000! Going once! Going twice! SOLD to the gentleman here on my right for $825,000!” _

_ The gavel hit. I won. I came forward to claim my Rapunzel. _

***

That was it. The winner had been decided.

My eyes widened as the man who purchased me stepped out of the shadows.  _...He’s young. And incredibly handsome. And..and he looks  _ **_nice_ ** _. Sh...should I be happy about this? _

He didn’t look like the kind of person you’d expect to be in a black market auction at all. He was nothing like the old perverts, the sheikh's, or the rich elite. Then again, appearances could be deceiving. I’d thought the man who stopped for me on the road was a good samaritan. Next thing I knew, I was here.

I steeled my resolve. I wouldn’t be swayed by a friendly smile or nice guy act. This man was just as bad as the rest and I would escape him first chance I got. Teagan Dunn was not something to be owned!

Air escaped as a hand roughly shoved me to my knees and ordered me to keep my eyes down until I was spoken to.

I heard a bit of the conversation one of my captors was having with my new ‘owner’.

“Congratulations on your purchase. You have excellent taste, Sir. I must warn you, though…” The man lowered his voice, but I still caught some of it. “You might have some trouble with this one. She’s not being completely broken in yet. She does as she’s told, but not willingly. If you would like, I can have some of my men ‘get her ready for you’. Save you the trouble of having to put her in her place, yes?”

My eyes widened. It was all I could do not to leap to my feet and leg it out of there.

***

_ “No need, I assure you. I like that she's so spirited. Besides, I think we'll get along quite well.” _

_ I approached her as her head was bowed down, and I lifted her head until I could see her face, but not her eyes - they were tightly shut. _

_ “Let me see your eyes, lovely.” _

_ Slowly, hesitantly, she opened her eyes. So many questions, a considerable amount of fear, and a lot of fire. _

_ “Hello. Ignore the charlatans, they're not the sharpest tools in the shed.” I studied her closely, willing her to keep focused on me. She did not break eye contact once. Good girl. _

_ “You'll do,” I smiled. “Do you have a name? I'm sure it wasn't Rapunzel - lovely as it is, I wouldn't try climbing your hair down a high tower.” _

***

You’ll do?  _ You’ll do?  _ Indignation surged inside me at those two words. How demeaning could you get? I don’t care how good looking this guy was, I wasn’t putting up with that.

I stayed silent with narrowed eyes.  _ None of your fucking business _ , I thought.

Behind the man, my captor sighed. “See what I told you? She is disobeying you. Apparently she didn’t speak much before we got her, but she knows she should speak when spoken to.”

***

_ “The fault was mine - I was disrespectful,” I said in apology directly to her. “Perhaps I'll get to remedy that when we get to our destination.” _

_ I paid the men, sent all but one on their way (to keep her from running) and waited with her for my car to arrive. “My car’s on the way. We’ll leave here shortly and, hopefully, begin on a better footing.” _

***

_ Did...Did he just admit he was in the wrong? _

I couldn’t believe it. I’d fully expected him to get mad and slap me, or change his mind and tell my captors to go ahead and do as they pleased. Not to actually apologise to me like he’d done.

I blinked at him with cartoonish surprise, but remained silent. I couldn’t quite suss this man out and that was worrying.

In my head, I warned myself not to be taken in by his smile and words. Sure, he seemed nice now, but a lot of people seemed nice until they were not. For all I knew, the act would drop the second we got to wherever we were going and there were no witnesses.

We stood, waiting for his car. The man, nonchalant, his hands in his pockets, and me standing just to the side, stock-still, and my arms pinned to my sides by a hulking giant of a man.

***

_ She couldn't figure me out. She's trying to, I know it. But she isn't succeeding. _

_ I'm having more fun with this than I should. _

_ The car rolled up, and I carefully escorted her into the front passenger seat first, holding firmly so she didn't run off. After getting my keys from the valet, we rode away for home. _

_ It wasn’t a far drive at all - we’d be there in thirty minutes. _

_ “So... again, apologies for my rudeness - it was not my intention. I would like to know your true name, but I can settle for Rapunzel, if you’d prefer.” _

***

Head down, eyes on my hands, I replied, in a weak voice, “It’s Teagan.”

He’d apologized - twice - so I saw no reason stubbornly refusing to tell him. Plus, I loathed how the traffickers had taken something as innocent and magical as Disney and perverted it.

The car ride continued in silence. At least until I mustered up the courage to ask, “What are you going to do to me?”

I didn’t know why I was asking. I’d being sold as a  _ sex slave _ , hadn’t I?

***

_ “Teagan - beautiful name, by the way - that’s a good question. First, we’re getting you cleaned up and fed. You must be starved, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t take very good care of you. Those are my main priorities. We’ll sort out the rest afterwards.” _

_ I looked over at her. “Why - is there something you were expecting?” _

***

Shamefully, I perked up at the mention of food. Starved didn’t begin to describe how hungry I was. I didn’t even care if what he gave me was slop, I just needed something to eat.

“You bought me on the black market from sex traffickers. What do  _ you _ think?” 

***

_ “I think you’ve got a rather skewed idea of how this works,” I replied. “You see, just because you’re sold as a sex slave doesn't mean  _ **_I_ ** _ want you as a sex slave. I never understood how that could be remotely possible with someone you don’t know or trust? And I know you’re thinking the very same.” _

_ “However,” I added a moment later. “I know a few things about you already. And when I tell you what those things are, I’m highly confident that you’re going to be very attentive to what comes next.” _

***

This man made no sense. I might as well give up ever figuring him out.

My head shot up when he said he knew things about me.  _ What things? How could he possibly know  _ **_anything_ ** _ about me? _ Suddenly him bidding and buying me took on a whole new sinister turn. Had he had an ulterior motive all along?

“Wh...What are they? What do you know?” I demanded, trying not to panic.

***

_ “Just observations I’ve made,” I spoke casually. “Things I noticed about you from the moment I saw you. For instance... it’s not that sex terrifies you. Far from it. You expected that much since it apparently comes with being sold for said purpose. But you’re not afraid of that. No, you're afraid of being forced into the act. Who wouldn’t be? Total stranger forcing themselves on you, no idea if they’ll be careful or gentle or...even  _ **_good_ ** _ , for that matter. No idea if they even know what turns you on.” _

***

I said nothing, unsure of what to say. I wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with this. Reading in between the lines, he was telling me...God, I didn’t even know. That he wouldn’t force me to have sex with him? Subtly hinting that, if we did, he’d make sure it was good? That he knew what turned me on?

I didn’t buy it. And I didn’t trust this man one bit.

“Yo-you honestly expect me to believe that you spent  _ $825,000 _ at a sex slave auction just to turn around and tell me...whatever it is you said just now? Bullshit!”

***

_ I laughed. I couldn't help it. “So far, it's already well worth it!” _

_ Taking a breath to collect myself, I continue, “Personally, I like your spirit. You question, you challenge, you assert yourself. I admire that. It makes it so much more fun to teach you what I want of you.” _

***

My eyes widened as the meaning of his words hit me.

Just as I thought, this man was trouble. Oh, he wasn’t going to force himself on me like the other bidders would have done had they won me. No, the sex was going to come later after he’d ‘trained’ me to want it, to follow his every order obediently and willingly.

He hadn’t said it outright to my face, but the message was clear: I was his slave and I was going to learn to like it.

“I won’t.” I said obstinately. “I won’t do a thing you say. You can’t make me.”

One could call me ungrateful. After all, I was getting a far better deal out of this than the other girls who were purchased at that auction. But that didn’t mean anything to me. I was still a slave, and he could try and make me submit to him, but I was going to fight him every step of the way.

...That is assuming I didn’t run away first. Which I was going to soon as the car parked.

***

_ “Who said anything about  _ **_making_ ** _ you? You're simply going to because, whether you admit it or not, it's actually something you want very much. In fact, here's what’s going to happen: when we park here in a moment, I'm going to undo your hands. And if you’re intending to run, which I know you are, I’ll even give you a ten-second head-start.” _

_ A smile curled at my lips as we pulled into the drive. _

***

_ Oh God, who  _ **_is_ ** _ this guy? _ I stared at him, mortified.

This man was...there was something terrifying about him. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was something so much darker and powerful beneath the smiling, pleasant facade he currently showed me. No man should be that confident in himself and what he was doing!

As we parked, I looked out my window, at the barren road that lay ahead. A ten-second head-start should be more than needed to escape. He’d only be cutting off his own nose to spite his face by pulling such an arrogant move.

And yet...I was hesitant to now. The way he was smiling told me that he knew I’d try to run, but he also knew he’d catch me.

“If I do run...” I swallowed my nerves, then continued. “...What happens if you catch me?”

***

_ I sat, smile unmoving. Here's where it gets interesting. _

_ “If? You mean  _ **_when_ ** _.  _ **_When_ ** _ I catch you. Tell me, Teagan… are you so curious to find out?” _

_ At that, I removed my phone from my pocket. “You've got ten seconds. Starting right about... _ **_now_ ** _.” _

***

I bolted from the car the second he got to six. The fear I felt at trying to escape and being caught was pretty strong, but the fear of this man and what he was capable of was far greater. It’d already become clear to me that this was all part of some game to him.

Implications. That’s what scared me the most about him. He didn’t raise his voice or his hand, he wasn’t obvious in his intentions.  _ Everything _ was implied and that was far, far worse. It was just like horror movies. The monster out in the open was bad, but it was the one that never revealed itself and struck from the shadows was the one that scared the most.

Running as fast as I could manage, I briefly glanced over my shoulder at him. He was still in the driver’s seat, watching me with that smile on his face…

_ Who is this guy?! _ I found myself thinking again.

***

_ I slowly emerged from the car, watching her take off. Testing the waters, Teagan? In this ocean, there's a very patient, calculating shark. _

_ “Nine…” _

_ I was being a touch generous in granting seconds, though the result would be just the same. _

_ “Ten.” _

_ I lashed out a pair of tendrils after her, watching them catch up and coil around her in record time. _

_ She never saw them coming. _

_ A satisfying scream rang out, continuing on as they lifted her into the air and pulled her back to where I stood. _

_ Nonchalantly, I greeted her again. She looked ashen and stunned into silence, which may not last long. “While I strongly encourage exercise, I’m afraid now isn’t the time. We have much to discuss. Come along, Teagan.” _

_ I chuckled as I walked through the front door with her in (invisible) tow, kicking and screaming. _

_ Well, the screaming didn't last long. I might have “muted” her vocal cords. _

_ “Now, it might not be clear yet, but in case you haven't figured it out, I'm not human. Hence why I have no fear of your antics...because I’ll always know. And I’ll  _ **_always_ ** _ find you. Your vocal cords are mute until you can learn to use your inside voice and not scream your head off. I'm going to unbind you now. You're going to try taking off, but you'll find pretty quickly that the front door won't open. None of the exits will. But feel free to look around the house if you like, and come back here so we can begin getting you cleaned up and fed. Starting... _ **_now_ ** _.” _

_ I can be such a prick. _

***

_ Oh God, oh God! This is even worse than I thought it’d be! Why couldn’t it have been one of the others!? _ I thought frantically, terrified of my current predicament.  **_What is he??_ **

I collapsed onto the floor as whatever unseen force that he wielded and was restraining released me mid-air. The second I was free, I jumped to my feet and bolted for the door and tried to open it. Just as he said, it wouldn’t open no matter how hard I pulled.

Next I tried the windows. If there was one in my sight, I tried opening it. But, exactly like with the door, they wouldn’t budge.

Throwing the man a dirty look, I ran past him and up the stairs. There just had to be an escape route in this place. There’s no way he had all the exits in this place covered. There just had to be one he’d missed…

None. I looked all over, but found none. I wasn’t getting out of here unless he let me.

_ Unless… _

After some consideration, I nodded, mind made up. The plan was a risky move (especially considering I wasn’t dealing with  a human, but it was worth a shot. First I needed to bide my time, lull him into a false sense of security.  _ Then _ I would strike.

...Plus, I really wanted to eat something first. I was so hungry it hurt.

I returned back to where the man patiently waited, air of defeat hanging off me.

I wanted to say something, but was unable to. It wasn’t that my lips were sealed shut or my vocal chords not working. It was literally like someone had taken a figurative remote control for my body and pressed the mute button on it.

I glared at my feet, unable to stand that smug grin any longer. I probably looked for all the world like a petulant child, but I didn’t care.

**_Dirty trick._ **

***

_ Good. She was figuring it out. _

_ “Satisfied? Probably not. Probably hoping to catch me off guard so you can try again when you think I trust you. Pretty sneaky, lass,” I tsked in amusement. Taking up a small pile of folded towels, I motioned for her to follow me. She complied, albeit very reluctantly. _

_ The bathroom was spacious, with a claw foot tub that could easily fit three people. It was filled with bubbles and scented bath oils, and a selection of washes, shampoos and conditioners lined a small table. A small stool sat near the tub. _

_ “I assume you want privacy, so you'll have it. When you're done, dinner will be waiting.” I closed the door behind me, leaving a still-petulant Teagan standing there. _

***

_ Stop doing that! Stop reading my mind!! _

He still hadn’t lifted the silencing spell or whatever the hell it was he’d done to me, so I could only angrily think this. It was both horrifying and annoying how he was always one step - no, try ten steps - ahead of me. How he just  _ knew _ what I was thinking or planning.

Well, joke was on him. He may have guessed that I was plotting another escape plan, but he didn’t know  _ how _ . As long as I kept that to myself, I should be okay.

After he left me alone in the bathroom, I trailed my finger over the smooth, white porcelain surface. The tub had already been filled with water - just the right temperature. Hot, but not enough to be uncomfortable - as well as soap bubbles and other oils that were meant to relax and rejuvenate the body.

I could have cried. It had been  _ so long _ since I had a nice, relaxing bath.

Pulling the ragged, torn dress I was wearing off, I climbed in and closed my eyes in pleasure as I felt the warmth of the bathwater sink into my bones and travel all over my body. And as for the bath oils, I’d never thought there was any point to them, but now I stood corrected. It felt like  _ silk _ against my skin.

Of course, that was nothing compared to the  _ relief _ I felt once I washed my hair with the shampoo and conditioner provided. Feeling the greasiness fade, and life return to it. I felt better than I had in a long time.

It would go a long way helping me once I escaped. When I first became homeless, people were nice enough and lent a helping hand. However, the longer my situation went on, and the more my outward appearance deteriorated, the less people there were willing to help me. Before I was kidnapped, most just overlooked me, like I wasn’t even there. I’d become less than human in their eyes.

***

_ I set the table accordingly for two, placing the covered plates of hot food on a nearby warmer. There were hot rolls and butter, full water glasses, empty wine glasses, and Cabernet Sauvignon on ice. (I'm a Guinness man, myself. But I'll make an exception.) _

_ All that was needed was my dinner guest. _

_ Oh, I didn't leave them with clothing, did I? _

_ I'll be nice this time. There would be a fluffy robe on the door for her when she got out. _

***

I would have gladly stayed in the bathtub, relaxing, until the hot water had turned lukewarm, until I literally had no choice but to get out. I couldn’t, though. I was aware that dinner was waiting and I didn’t want it to get cold. Nothing was worse than cold food.

...Oh yeah, there was also the Not-Human downstairs. Couldn’t forget him.

Pulling the plug on the bathtub, I got out and wrapped myself in one of the towels that lay waiting. I then did the same for my hair, rubbing it as much as possible. I wasn’t able to get rid of the dampness, but I at least managed to dry it enough that it wasn’t dripping water on the floor.

I looked at my dress on the floor. After getting nice and clean, I really loathed the idea of putting that tattered thing on again. I had no choice, it was the only thing I had to wear, and there was no way in hell I was stepping out of here naked.

Opening the door to ask if I could possibly have some new clothes (then remembering I couldn’t speak), I was relieved when I saw the robe hanging off the handle.  _ Oh thank God! _

It wasn’t perfect. I was still going to be naked underneath it, but it was something new and clean, and that was enough.

Once I was ready, I made my way downstairs. 


	19. Meeting Balor, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well...it could have been worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello hello! So this chapter requires a little context. In the previous chapter, Finn has been (and currently is) behaving like his demonic counterpart, so he’s kind of a dick right now, but with the intent of helping our main character face her fears. Things get angsty and angry, but there’s comfort as well. Warnings for objectification - specifically human furniture, which is an actual thing in BDSM.

I reached the doorway to where the table was all set, pausing momentarily to savor the scent. Unable to stop myself, I licked my lips, practically salivating at the thought of eating whatever it was he had prepared.  _ It smells sooo good. _

Suddenly, I grimaced in pain as my stomach growled out and ached for sustenance. I doubled over, holding back a whimper. You’d think it’d get easier after four days, but it didn’t.

***

_ I could hear the rumbling that came from her stomach, and knew she couldn’t wait. I helped Teagan to her seat, and set the covered plates down, one before her and mine awaited across the way. _

_ “I hope you like spaghetti bolognese. It's a specialty of mine. Also, there’s grated Parmesan if you'd like.” _

_ She opened her mouth to say something, but looked down remembering she had no voice. _

_ With a deep breath, I said, “You can have your voice back, so long as you're not screaming your head off. I hope this can be a civil dinner, at least. You have questions - I’ll gladly answer them.” _

_ I un-muted her vocal cords and sat back, prepared to receive an earful. And ready to revoke her speaking rights again, if need be. _

***

If he thought I was about to bombard him with questions or scream his ears off, he needn’t have worried. Speaking, let alone arguing was the  _ last _ thing on my mind right now. All I wanted to do was eat. It was the only thought in my head.

Sitting down, I stared at the food presented before me. My eyes completely bypassed the Parmesan and butter - these were luxuries, I didn’t need them - and fell on the spaghetti.

It seriously took all my self-control not to just grab it with my hands and go nuts. That’s how hungry I was. After  _ days _ spent with nothing, just having something edible in front of me was near enough to make me mindless with hunger.

“Th-Thank you for the dinner.” I told him, because it didn’t hurt to be polite and he  _ did _ prepare this.

With shaking hands, I picked up my spoon and fork. I tried to wrap the spaghetti the proper way, but I couldn’t keep the spoon still, so I quickly discarded it and opted to use just the fork.  _ I can do this... _ **_I can do this!_ **

I tried to be civilized. I tried to control myself.

I failed.

After two spoonfuls, I forgot the meaning of the word  _ savoring _ . Chewing was a distant memory, too. The second that the fork of pasta and sauce entered my mouth, I was swallowing it.  _ There was no time, I had to eat all of it! Who knew when I would get to eat again!? _

My dinner was finished in no time at all. By the time I put my fork down, the man hadn’t even gotten through half of his meal.

Taking deep breaths and feeling so full it was practically uncomfortable, I felt my senses return to me. I caught sight of myself in the nearby mirror and recoiled, ashamed. My mouth and the white robe was splattered with tomato sauce. 

I buried my face in my hands and began to sob.  _ This _ is what I’d been reduced to. Behaving like an animal or savage!

***

_ Taking a few cloth napkins to the kitchen, I steeped them in a basin of warm water while she proceeded to eat (read:  _ **_ravage_ ** _ ) her plate. I didn't fault her at all. I knew she had to have gone days without decent accommodation, least of all food. _

_ I brought the basin and a small table to set it upon as she broke down in tears. Squeezing a napkin of as much water as I could manage, I knelt down in front of her. _

_ “Teagan, look at me.” She looked down as tears fell, unable to lift her head. _

_ “You've got nothing to be ashamed of. They reduced you to this. Here, take this and make use of the basin next to you to clean up. I'll get another robe for you.” With that, I left and headed towards the laundry room. _

***

My sobs having died down to mere hiccups, I silently accepted the soaked napkin and wiped my face with it. It didn’t take long to clean off all of the sauce, but I had a feeling the robe was something of a lost cause. No amount of washes was going to save it.

Putting the napkin aside, I waited for the man to return.

It was so fucked up. I was being treated with more hospitality by him than I ever was by actual humans.

I shook my head.  _ Don’t go down that road, Teagan. You must remain strong and escape. _

He wasn’t human. For all I knew, he’d bought me for more sadistic or sinister reasons. If only I could figure out  _ what _ he was, then I’d have a good idea.

Maybe he was a vampire, and he planned to suck my untainted, virgin blood?

***

_ I returned with another robe and a laundry basket to collect the soiled robe and napkins when she was finished. “I'll give you a few minutes to change,” I said simply, before heading to the kitchen. _

***

I got changed out of the dirty robe as quickly as possible, shivering a little as the cool air hit my bare skin.

Once changed, I sat back down, palms clasped on my lap, and waited.

I’d been washed, I’d been fed,  _ now _ came the moment I found out exactly what was in store for me, if only temporarily while I waited for a good time to put my plan into motion.

My decision was becoming bittersweet by the second. Truth be told, I was standing more to lose than to gain by escaping. Sure, I’d gain my freedom, but I’d lose food, comfort, shelter and all the luxuries in-between. Considering I’d been reaching my breaking point out of the streets, was it really worth it?

No. No, it wasn’t. It was one potential hell to a certain one.

But I couldn’t stay. It was the principle of the matter for me. I didn’t like being forced into something and being told to like it or lump it. I wanted some say in the matter, I wanted to make my own choices. 

***

_ As tempting as it might have been to play the peeping Tom, it didn't seem at all right. Oh, I'm going to toy with her, no question. But even in dreams, she brings out a protective instinct. _

_ When I headed back in, she’d cleaned up and recovered somewhat. I sat down and studied her for a moment. I knew something had changed in her, and that she still had questions. So I waited. _

***

Neither of us spoke, just sitting and staring at one another expectantly. He’s waiting for me to say something to him, and I’m waiting for him to say something to me. It’d be funny if the moment wasn’t so tense.

I was the first to break the silence. “So...what are you, exactly? Vampire? Ghoul? Demon?”

***

_ “Demon,” I replied simply. “Bálor’s the name. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” _

***

_ So it’s my soul on the line?  _ **_Great._ ** I thought bitterly.  _ Why did he have to be a demon? _

Since becoming homeless, my faith - or what little was there of it - was next to nothing and I’d very much been entertaining the notion that God didn’t exist, as did Heaven and Hell. Basically, I was a knife’s edge away from becoming an atheist.

Meeting Bálor did not fill me with reassurance. If anything, it was confirmation that God had abandoned me. He’d left me at my lowest to become easy prey for a demon.  

I decided to cut straight to the chase. “Are you going to kill me? Is that why you purchased me? You’re planning to keep me and raise me until I’m ready for the slaughter, like humans do with livestock?”

***

_ “Wow. I swear, you humans have the most morbid imaginations,” I chuckled. “I'm not fattening you up for anything. I'm not preparing you for slaughter. Believe it or not, I simply want the pleasure of your company.” _

_ I poured myself a glass of chilled wine. “But you probably wouldn't believe that either. Unless I'm planning to grind your bones to make bread, or something like that, kindness from a demon - or  _ **_anyone_ ** _ , for that matter - just isn't possible to you, is it? Anything to justify your ire, yeah?” _

_ She looked unnerved at the assertion as I took an appreciative sip of the bittersweet wine. _

***

I crossed my arms and glared at him. If he thought he was going to guilt trip me, he had another think coming. Sympathy was not something I had in abundance right now. Anger, bitterness, and hopelessness, on the other hand, I had plenty of.

“My heart  _ bleeds _ for you.” I responded sarcastically. “Forgive me if I’m not so trusting to believe a word out of your mouth when the Bible and the horror genre portrays you guys as evil personified, who live to tempt humans to Hell or eat their souls. By all means, correct me if I’m wrong.”

I then sighed. “Look, I’m not stupid. I know damn well that the homeless and prostitutes are easy pickings. Nobody cares if they go missing. So, don’t feed me this bullshit about wanting companionship when there are cheaper, better options out there. I’m not buying it.”

***

_ “Yeah, well your overly defensive schtick isn't winning you a BAFTA anytime soon, so I'd suggest taking it down a notch,” I chided.  _

_ I got up to walk around. With a very calm, very cool demeanor, I explained, “The point of the matter is that I understand your reticence to trust strangers. I understand your fear. I want to help ease that fear and, perhaps, earn your trust. What I  _ **_don't_ ** _ like is your incessant need to come out swinging every time anything is presented to you. You want to know about me? You want to know why you're here? Here's your first lesson: anything you  _ **_think_ ** _ you can dish out, I can give it back twice as worse. I'm not saying to be nice, don't get me wrong. I can take candor. Hell, I love it. But from here on out, I won't tolerate disrespect. The next time it happens, you'll be punished. In fact, it should also be said that anything you  _ **_think_ ** _ about, I can hear as surely as if you spoke it. So, no way in the seven hells will you ever be able to lie to me. And I will not lie to you. Is that understood?” _

_ She looked stunned, fired up, and ready to yell, but I added a caveat: “And use your inside voice when you speak. I'd hate to mute you again. I actually like your voice.” _

***

Gritting my teeth, I listened to him as he spoke, becoming more and more irate by the second.

If I was being honest with myself, I had no quarrel with Bálor. Sure, he’d purchased me from a sex slave auction, but then again, he wasn’t a human, so I couldn’t judge him like one, could I? He actually seemed pretty alright for a demon. It was a shame we hadn’t met a year prior, under better circumstances. We’d probably get along just fine, maybe even better.

But we hadn’t. He’d caught me at my absolute worst where I was full of anger at the world and lashing out anyway I could. The way I was currently - believing life wasn’t going to get any better, that everyone and everything was looking to screw me over - no one was exempt from my ire. Those who were happy were mocking me, those who were good and nice had ulterior motives. And those who were bad could go fuck themselves for all I cared. That people like them were breezing through life while I was literally at rock bottom was the ultimate proof to me that there was no justice in this world.

Once Bálor had finished speaking, I tried my best to calm down and actually consider what he was saying. It was hard, I wanted nothing more than to rage at him, calling him every name under the sun, but I also knew that wouldn’t achieve anything save for me losing my ability to speak again.

“Understood. ...I want to trust you.” I confessed after a long pause of silence, my anger having dissipated a little. “I  _ want _ to, but...I need proof. I need to know that you’re not lying to me. You understand that, right?”

The good thing was that I knew  _ exactly _ how to get that proof. It wasn’t going to be pretty, I was probably going to pay big time for it, but I was willing to take that risk. If he was telling the truth, then I knew I could trust him and a relationship could actually progress from here. If he was lying, then the next thing I’d be doing would be grabbing a knife and either sticking it in him or myself.

Staring directly into Bálor’s intense but bewitching blue eyes, I thought,  _ Sorry, nothing personal. _

Then I grabbed the nearest object - the bottle of wine - and swung it at his head.

***

_ Nothing personal, hm? I understood perfectly. _

_ So I knew she would understand when, the moment I saw her reach for the wine, I knew how to prove my words. _

_ Before it ever made contact, I reached up to touch the glass bottle, making it disintegrate. Before she could blink, I was behind her and, not too forcefully, I gripped her hair and tugged it back as the remainder of the red wine splashed on the floor and her robe. All in the space of seconds. _

_ My eyes met hers. “Proof enough?” _

***

I would have nodded frantically if not for the fact that his hand was wound in my hair, forcing me to look up at him. “Ye-yeah, I believe you now.” I said, voice shaking.

Gulping, I then asked, “So, what are you going to do to me? Why am I here?”

***

_ With a grin, I released her hair and let her stand up. Looking over her robe, I commented smartly, “You've got red on you.” _

_ I sauntered towards the doorway to the living room. “What I want to do with you is as I've said. I want your company. You're here not for the sake of amusement or even my own pleasure...but to unlock that which you've suppressed and denied yourself for too long. That which you're ashamed to want, ashamed to desire or say that you need.” _

_ I turned to face her, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “It's not about the money. It's about  _ **_you_ ** _. And if you still doubt that, riddle me this: you didn't recoil when I pulled your hair. You didn't even flinch. How long have you wanted that?” _

***

I froze as his words sank in.  _ Suppressed? Desired?  _ Surely he couldn’t be talking about what I think he was talking about?

Yes, yes he was. He  _ knew _ .

A wall immediately went up, intending to block anymore of this discussion from happening. It was a very sore, painful spot for me, especially given how it was largely the reason I was homeless to begin with. These urges had ruined my life. The last thing I wanted was to ‘unlock’ them. 

“No.” I turned my head away, face aflame. “I-I don’t want to talk about this. Not happening.”

***

_ Disappearing for a moment, I popped up in her dining chair. “I can see the wall you've put up, Teagan. I can see your memories. I won't ask about those, but I will say that your “urges”? They are an area that I specialize in. As a kind of counsel, if you will. This is a place free of judgement, away from scrutiny and unnecessary pain.” _

_ I reappeared behind her again, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I won't lie to you, I won't harm you, nor will I make you afraid of what you feel or think. You're safe to realize those things here. And I can guide you.” _

***

I let out a deep, shuddering breath, my hands covering my ears.

_ I’m...I’m being tested, aren’t I? _

I had lost so much this past year, but I could at least say I hadn’t lost  _ everything _ . I kept my virginity when others would have resorted to selling themselves. I kept myself clean, away from the poisonous temptation of drugs and alcohol. But, most important of all, I hadn’t given in once to my urges. I could at least say that much.

But that would all disappear if I listened to Bálor and gave in. Once I did that, there’d be no going back for me. I’d be essentially revelling in the fact that I was a sick human being rather than fighting it. I could also kiss my chances of going to Heaven goodbye as it most definitely counted as sexual immorality at it’s finest.

Shaking my head, I started to back away.

“I-I get it now. I know what you’re trying to do.” I accused. “You’re trying to tempt me to a life of sin! You pretend to be my friend, but you’re not! You’re just trying to get my soul!”

How many people did I come across who tried to tempt me into doing something bad? The goth girl with the drugs. That guy who told me to give breaking into houses a shot, I’d get more money that way. Even a complete weirdo who swore he knew a legit way to sell your soul for anything you wanted. All had tried to lure me down the path to Hell, all had failed.

Bálor would be no different.

“I’m not talking about this anymore. I-I’m leaving, you hear me?!” I cried, before turning around and running to the door.

The damn knob still wouldn’t budge.

***

_ I popped up next to the door as she tried (again) to leave. “This isn't a temptation. I'm not trying to lure you into Hell. This isn't a ploy or a game. This is about you breaking your own bonds. They locked you up, but really...you've had the keys to your cell the whole time since you left them behind. Yet you've chosen to stay behind those bars instead of discovering who you are outside of them. What scares you most, Teagan?” _

_ She persisted to try, not hearing a thing I've said. This would be a challenge. _

_ “If you can finally accept the things you despise, the urges you fear owning up to...the doors will unlock. And you can go free. Until then, you’re stuck here.” _

***

A scream tore past my mouth and, in my frustration, I kicked the door.

Then I directed my anger at Bálor. “You bastard! You absolute bastard! You tell me you want someone to talk to, then you come out with this!? Isn’t it enough that you own me!? You have to do this to me, too? Take away the one thing I have left? Without it, what am I? How will I be able to stand there and say I’m a good person? I can’t! And-and you have no right to stand there and tell me there’s no judgement! There’s is! There’s judgement  _ everywhere! _ And you know why? Because it’s  _ wrong! _ You can sugarcoat it however you like, but there are things in this world that are fundamentally bad - murder, rape, sadism - and this is one of them! So...so you can go fuck yourself!”

I was so mad that I’d completely forgotten about Bálor telling me that he wouldn’t stand for any disrespect. That the next time, he’d punish me.

***

_ Well... _ **_this_ ** _ is a nice surprise. _

_ She's something of a fighter after all. _

_ However, since I like to stay true to my word… _

_ I walked away, without a word spoken. No emotion. No argument. And in a moment, no remorse. _

_ The lesson must be taught. _

_ I turned and plopped down into my extremely cozy chair. “This has been exhausting. I could use a moment to put my feet up.” _

_ With a wave of my hand, I brought her to her knees. With a twist, her palms hit the floor. The moment she cried out in surprise, I muted her vocal cords once more. With a come-hither motion, her struggling body levitated to the front of my chair, where my feet hovered until she was properly placed. Then I rested my feet upon her prone ottoman form. _

_ “This...is not the punishment I initially had in mind, no,” I said casually. “The original one was far worse - you would have been naked and acting as my reading lamp. I figured making you a piece of human furniture for a while could teach you a bit about manners, and this position is known to be especially humbling. You will stay here until I'm good and ready to let you up. Won't be terribly long. I'm feeling generous tonight, since it's your first. And while you're here, I'm going to read a book and leave you to your thoughts.” _

_ I summoned one of my favorites: Cupid and Psyche. _

***

_ No! No, stop! Stop!  _ **_You can’t do this to me!_ ** _ Please, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!! _

Unable to move from the position he’d forced me in, and unable to speak as well, all I could do was scream out in my head, hoping he’d hear and listen. However, no matter how many times I said “I’m sorry!” over and over, Bálor ignored me. His eyes stay focused on the book, as if I was literally a leg rest and nothing more.

Realizing I could beg until my throat was hoarse (figuratively speaking), I gave up and stared down at the floor.

Minutes passed by in absolute silence, with only the sound of the page turning to be heard.

This was torture. Absolute torture.

Not because of how degrading it was. How he’d completely reduced me into an object whose sole purpose was to serve him. Not because he’d taken away my speech and movement. And not even because it was uncomfortable to stay this way for longer than a minute or so.

No, it was because, much as I hated to admit it with all my being, I  _ liked _ it.

I don’t know whether he already knew this or it was a matter of coincidence, but Human Furniture was one of the many aspects of BDSM I loved. I knew I shouldn’t -  _ No one _ should like to be reduced to that of an object - but,  _ God _ , I did. When I was a teenager and these thoughts were new, I’d secretly watch videos where a man would make the woman be his footrest while he watched TV, or tie her up and use her for some other purpose, and I’d fantasize about a man doing that to me.

I’d want him to mock me, to shove his foot in my face, to drive it home how I was nothing but an object to serve him-

_ No, no! Stop it! Stop thinking th-! _

I felt a familiar, unwelcome tingling sensation  _ down there _ , proof that I was most definitely getting turned on by this, and tears started to pool in my eyes.

***  

_ I tried to appear unaffected, unmoved by her plight. Of course, it's pretty difficult to do if you're not a heartless bastard. _

_ I set aside the book, lifted my feet from her back, and released her body from the restrictions I'd placed on it. I brought her upright and sat her in my chair to check her knees. A bit red, probably irritated and sore. Her eyes were teary, though they hadn't fallen yet. _

_ “You did well, Teagan. You did so, so well. I know it scared you, but you were such a good girl.” Handing her a tissue to dry her eyes, I reached under the side table and retrieved a round container of thick cream. Once it was open, I took a dab of it and began applying it carefully to her knees. “Sit back now - I'm going to take care of you.” _

***

I did as he said, resting back against the headrest. Despite the kind treatment, I still felt so very ashamed of myself. If any normal person were here, they’d be appalled at me.  _ ‘How could you like that? What the fuck is  _ **_wrong_ ** _ with you?’  _ That’s what they’d say.

“There was a part of me that liked that.” I told Bálor. “I...I...I didn’t want you to stop. I wanted you to be even meaner about it. To keep on using me...”

The tears that had been pooling in my eyes began to drop. The tissue caught most of them but soon it was soaked due to how much I was crying. Though it had happened because Bálor was punishing me, I still felt as if I’d left myself down.

“I don’t want to feel this way!” I despaired.

***

_ “What you did...how you felt...it was interesting, really, that you wanted me to be meaner, rougher. There is no shame in what you just did. This is a huge step for you, though it doesn't seem that way right now. I'm not appalled at you - I'm very pleased.” _

***

“...You are?” I asked when he said he was pleased with me. He nodded, a sincere expression on his face, and I wiped my eyes. The tears were starting to stop.

***

_ “Tell me honestly: in that moment, on your hands and knees, before the negative thoughts came in...how did you feel?" _

***

“There was a part of me which was upset because, well, it  _ was _ a punishment. It’s supposed to be bad. But...there was another part of me that really enjoyed it. That felt...good. Free, if that makes sense?”

***

_ I nodded again. “Yes. That makes perfect sense. That's exactly how it should feel. Because it's a part of you. And this? What I'm doing? Helps when you've done something especially difficult. Just as there's nothing wrong with what you desire, there's certainly no shame in being cared for afterwards. But...you'll get there.” _

_ I rose up on my knees, took her hands into mine. “This is what I hope to show you. Help you separate fact from fiction, the good from the bad...and find  _ **_you_ ** _ somewhere in there. All I'm asking is for you to trust me, give me a chance. And I'll help you find your freedom. Will you do that?  _ **_Can_ ** _ you do that? Not for me, but for yourself. Because you're worth fighting for.” _

***

I hesitated. What goes on here, stays here, right? I mean, so long as it’s behind closed walls, no one will ever know?

And then I remembered. There was one person who was all-seeing and all-knowing: God. He would see, he would know, and that’d be it for my immortal soul because I was pretty sure that BDSM qualified as a sexual perversion.

“Bu-But what about my faith? It’s forbidden. I’ll go to Hell because of it...”

***

_ “He won't condemn you, despite what you were taught,” I assured. “There are far worse things to be condemned for in the world. To know one of the greatest joys he's ever created in a way that you're comfortable with is not one of them.” _

_ I stood up and brought her to her feet. “We will come back to this, and we'll discuss it more. For now, however... it's time to wake up, Teagan.” _

***

“...What?”

Soon as the words left my mouth, I opened my eyes and there I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

I sat up and sighed. Scarily vivid and lifelike dreams were starting to become more frequent. And, unlike the rest where I acted on impulse with no logic or conscience to tether me back, this one had been different. It had felt all too real...

The message of this dream couldn’t be any clearer: Accept the urges I repressed. It was not a bad thing, it was normal.

_ Like it’s that simple. _ I scoffed.

I would not let myself be fooled. It was nothing but a dream. Dreams were fantasy, the subconscious regurgitating, stewing over and dealing with things that happened in real life. That dream had been nothing more than a metaphorical battle of mind over matter, played out between myself and my hidden desires, personified as Finn. It wasn’t to be taken to heart.

_ You said that about the other dream, but look what happened? It made you see the truth about your parents…? _

That was true. And, for a second, I wondered if I’ve been wrong about this, too. If I were to tell Finn, or Father Cody, what would they say? Would they react just like my mother, just like Caleb, just like the priest at my old church, or would they understand? That there was nothing wrong with it. BDSM was a thing for a reason, and there were communities for it, weren’t there?

I shook my head, shutting down that line of thought immediately.

Yes, I was wrong about my parents. But there were things that would never stop being bad and  _that_ would always be one of them.

_...Still...dreams don’t count, right? It’s okay if I enjoy them...just a little? _

Hating my sick, weak-minded self, I lay back down to go back to sleep, unable to stop replaying how Finn had used me as a leg-rest in the dream and wishing it’d gone on longer….

***

_ It had been a very...intriguing discovery. It came as such a surprise that I nearly kicked my own ass for not thinking of it sooner. _

_ Teagan had a myriad of undisclosed desires. But she’d listened to those voices saying how bad they were more than her own mind. And she couldn't have been further from the truth if she had been catapulted. _

_ Contrary to worldly belief, the practice of BDSM is, by no means, a sin. It's a way for people with “different” tastes to explore the things that provoke, arouse, and calm their frantic minds. The communities exist for a reason: to meet others and find assurance that they are not wrong or terrible people for wanting what they want. They exist to show others that they are not alone. _

_ (And FYI: most of those hypocrites decrying the practice of anything are usually practicing it themselves.) _

_ But Teagan is among those who eventually find themselves at a crossroads: accept or deny. To accept that these urges are not wrong and are very much a part of her, or deny herself and live unfulfilled. _

_ If using the house as a way to pull the veil from her eyes is the most effective method, then that's what I'll do. But only when she's ready. _

_ In the interim, I will bide my time and continue to be supportive and patient with her in the waking world. That is equally as important as the lessons in her dreams. _

_ (Well... _ **_he’ll_ ** _ continue those, anyway. Though he did find my dickish impression of him amusing.) _

_ For now, I have to see a man about a dog. Particularly, one with three heads and a nasty temper... _


	20. Close to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet night in, full of surprises.

The following Friday arrived quicker than I imagined it would. 

My week was a busy one, probably the busiest it’s ever been since I moved to this small town. After the emotional weekend I had, I went to see Father Cody the next morning and told him I was finally ready to face up to my parents’ abuse. I’ve never seen someone look as relieved as he did then.

After that, things progressed pretty quickly. Father Cody got me involved in a weekly support group for other victims of abuse. It was a small group of us and we’d sit, share stories, and take part in exercises that were all part of the healing process.

I won’t lie, it was hard. Hearing the stories about the pain and hardships the girls and boys in the group went through, then having to talk about my own experiences, baring it all out there all over again. I thought telling Finn had been tough, but a group of strangers was a hundred times worse.

It truly hit me then how bad my parents were when I found myself facing a room of horrified - some even crying - people after recounting one of ‘Mother’s Lessons’ to them.

However, with the bad also came the good. The CBT exercises, for instance. We had to stand up in front of the room and then say our insecurities. The others would then say nice things about you, bolster up your confidence in yourself.

I was told I had beautiful eyes. That I was such a strong person to be as stable as I was and not have lost myself to a crutch. Everything Finn had told me, they said it too.

After the session came to an end, we were told to come in next Wednesday with a list of things we like about ourselves, things we felt were good. It could be as long as we wanted, but it had to be five points minimum.

I was struggling to come up with just the one.  

Despite what others said about me, I was not entirely convinced. You could tell me five things that were good about me, and I’d be able to counter them with five things that were bad. I’d been raised my whole life to think poorly of myself, so it was hard to lose that opinion so quickly.

I sat there staring at the blank piece of paper, biting the lid of my pen, as I waited for Finn to arrive for our date. Dinner was prepared, I just needed to shove it in the wok and cook it.

***  

_It's been quite a week._

_I took time off, as Regal suggested, but not before I held a meeting with the whole of my staff reminding them about the unforgivable rules of Hell. A refresher course, if you will._

_After that, I visited Ireland, and took a walk around the Isle of Man. Enjoyed the mountains, took in the scenic views, terrorized some of the more deserving locals. Fun times._

_I returned yesterday and hung out with Gallows and Anderson as they tore up the town. Of course, they asked about Teagan. Nothing invasive though - they knew better. Nevertheless, I politely told them to fuck off. They were preoccupied with getting laid, so it didn't matter to them anyway. My business was mine, and I'd let them in on it when I could._

_But in the times in between, I kept an unseen eye on Teagan. The meetings she attended, the baby steps of progress she was making - it made me very proud. And all the more eager for our date._

_I picked up a bright bouquet of lilies and carnations, as well as a small gift box for a surprise I'd found for her while away._

_Dressed casually in a simple black button-down shirt over blue jeans, I made my way to her door and rang the bell._

***

By the time Finn arrived, I was proud to say I’d made some progress. I still hadn’t managed five, but I’d written down two. At least that was something.  

1) Apparently, I’m a ‘Jack of all Trades’.

2) Life doesn’t feel like a chore anymore.

I could cheat and ask Finn to help me fill out the other three, but, as it was expressed in the group session, it wouldn’t count. The points had to come from within, not from others. When asked what to do if the minimum five couldn’t be met, they’d said not to worry. The more we learned to love ourselves, the more good we’d see. Anytime something new came to mind, just jot it down. The goal was that, in the end, the list wouldn’t even be needed.

I put the lid on the pen and put it away in the draw, before sticking the list up on my fridge. Two points were all I had right now. I wonder how long it’d take until I’d be ready to put my list away?

The doorbell rang and I zoomed to the door, grinning.

“Hey, Finn!” I greeted him. I was pleased to see that I wasn’t under-dressed compared to him. I’d worried that my white long hoodie and black leggings would be  _too_ casual, but that seemed to be the style Finn was going for, too.

My eyes fell on the lilies and carnations. “Oh, again? I told you, I’d be getting the gift next time!”

***

_“Yeah yeah, you can do that next time. Still won't stop me from doing this though,” I laughed._

***

I still took them, of course. What girl doesn’t like receiving flowers? “But thank you!”

***

_Teagan looked relaxed and happy - always a welcoming sight. It made her look all the more amazing._

_“That's not all I brought with me.” I took out the small flat box wrapped in shimmery red paper and held it up to her._

***  

_Oooh, I wonder what it is?_ I thought, taking the box from Finn.  _Shiny red, too. Pretty!_

Sometimes my thought process was just ridiculous.

I went to open it, then paused and smiled. I had an idea!

“Joke’s on you, I  _do_ have a present I can give you.” I said confidently, letting Finn enter before closing the door behind us. “Just wait right here, I’ll go get it.”

Handing the present back to him, I ran upstairs.

I found what I was looking for amidst my black umbro luggage (it was seriously a treasure trove of useless stuff, I swear). It was a stack of comic books - Marvel, DC, graphic novels, you name it) that I used to collect growing up and had always had to hide from my parents lest they tear them to shreds.  

They were in mint condition, having only been read once then stored away in plastic folders. I was told they’d be worth something one day, but selling them had never even crossed my mind once. Reading Spider Man and X-Men, stories about geeks and outcasts doing amazing things, had helped me get through my childhood. I’d read them and think to myself,  _‘If Peter Parker can be someone as awesome as Spider Man, maybe there’s hope for me, too?’_

Yeah, I know. Sad.

Picking the Spider Man issue where Carnage makes his first appearance, I ran back down to Finn, hiding it behind my back.  

“Okay, back. How should we do this? Together? Or one at a time?”

***

  _“Hmm...one at a time?” I grinned, genuinely intrigued. “Show me yours, I'll show you mine.”_

_I doubled over in laughter at the instantaneous blush that flooded her cheeks. That never gets old. “I’m starting to wish I were keeping count of the times I make you blush. Always fun!”_

***  

I had.  _Ten._ A number that was only going to get higher, I could tell.

“Okay, so mine first then, seeing as it’s not wrapped up...sort of.” After letting the seconds pass to build some anticipation, I revealed it to Finn. “ _Tada!_ I really hope you’re a comic book fan otherwise I’ve got nothing.”

I waited nervously to see his reaction. Would he like it or not? Would he tell me if he didn’t or act like he did just to spare my feelings? I just didn’t know…

***

_I grinned, and genuinely so. I hadn't seen a comic book since my last year with my family. The twinge in my chest was a gentle tug as I remembered taking one of my brother's comics and reading it under a tree on a warm day._

_“I'm gonna be honest, lovely - it's been years since I've picked up a comic book, and this brought back a very good memory.” I looked up at Teagan, placed my hand upon hers. “Thank you so much. I truly love it. Might start reading them again.”_

***  

I beamed. Success! “I have a collection upstairs. Feel free to read them whenever you like.”

Finn’s present out of the way, I turned back to mine, finger tracing over the red paper.  

_Whatever could it be? It’s a flat box, so...a CD? No, that doesn’t seem Finn’s style. Earrings?_   _Wait, no!_   _You’re ears aren’t even pierced, idiot!_

_Just open it!_

Unable to guess and eager to find out, I quickly unwrapped it and opened the box. “Oh...Oh wow.” I said, taking out the present. It was a bronze necklace of a tree, the design beautifully intricate, with turquoise circles attached to the string part.  

“Finn, it’s beautiful.” I said, admiring it.

***  

_I smiled. “It's a Celtic Tree of Life. Found it on my last trip home. It represents balance and harmony in nature. The roots sink into the lower world while the branches curl and stretch to the upper world. ‘As above, so below’. I thought it might be perfect for you while you're finding your balance.”_

***

“I had no idea that’s what that quote meant. I’ve only ever heard it from that horror movie.” I said, turning the necklace over in my hands. It really was lovely to look at it. Whoever had made it had put as much effort and heart into it as Finn had done in choosing it.

“I love it. Thank you so much, Finn.” I grinned.

I put it around my neck and did up the catch up on the back of it. Much like with the flowers Finn had gotten me, I made a mental note to remember to wear this necklace. It wouldn’t be lost or forgotten like the others before it. No chance!

“So, how have you been?” I asked, leading him into the kitchen.  

I took a bottle of sparkling wine and two glasses out for us. I actually barely touched alcohol, but I would drink it for special occasions and to socialize. I’d spent a good half hour at the supermarket, trying to make up my mind which type to get, and then which brand. ( _Alcohol. Alcohol_ ** _everywhere_  ** _._ )

***  

_“Pretty well, actually,” I replied as she poured the wine. “The time off was exactly what I needed. Caught up on my backlog, traveled a bit, spent time with friends. It was... pleasant. How about you?”_

***

I took a sip of the sparkling wine. I put it down quickly, disappointment evident on my face.  _That’s it? I don’t rate at all?_

“I’m okay.” I said truthfully. “You’ll be pleased to know that I’ve joined a support group for victims of abuse. We meet up every Wednesday, share all the horrible stuff we went through, then help each other try and overcome the problems and trauma we face as a result. Lot of, erm, cognitive behavioral therapy, and stuff. It’s  _really_ emotionally draining, but Father Cody says it’ll get easier.”

“The people who attend, they’re all really nice. They invited me out to coffee afterwards, but I turned them down. I’m not ready to make new friends right now, not after what happened with Dawn. ...Is that wrong of me?”

***

_“No, lovely. Not wrong at all. It takes time to heal, so don't feel bad if you can't jump in right away. You'll get there in time, I know it,” I assured. “And I'm so, so proud of you for taking that step. I know it wasn't easy, never is. You're off to a great start.”_

_The fruity wine fizzed on my tongue. “There is something I want to tell you, but I'm…”_

_I was stumbling on my words already. And it sure as hell wasn't the wine. “First, promise that you won't laugh or think it’s weird?”_

***  

I raised an eyebrow at Finn, intrigued and a little shocked. Was Finn seriously getting tongue-tied? This was a first!

I wanted to tease him a little considering he did it enough to me about my blushing (I had a good reason, dammit!), but I found I just couldn’t. A nervous Finn was an adorable Finn. Plus, I knew more than anyone how shit it felt to have someone laugh right in your face when you told them something personal or sensitive.

“Of course not. Tell me.” I encouraged. My glass of sparkling wine lay discarded. There’d be no risk of me getting drunk tonight.  

***

_How the hell am I nervous? I shouldn't be._

_I took a deep breath and took out my phone, scrolling through until I found a particular photo and passed it to Teagan. “So while I was away, I decided to pay a visit to the Highlands. Ended up at Loch Ness, and there was this amazing sunset. I sat and...I thought, while it was beautiful, I, um...fuck, I'm trying to get this out right without sounding creepy.”_

_I laughed away the nerves (seriously?) before continuing. “I wished you were there. I wanted to call you or text or just say ‘fuck it’ and surprise you with a ticket to come fly with me. Truth is, I thought about you the whole time. I think about you pretty often. And it might be because we've seen a lot of each other and been through a lot in such a short time. But... anyway I took this photo because it's a memory I most wanted you to be there for. If any of that makes sense.”_

_I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. I knew it was from being in such close proximity to her soul, but fuck if it didn't make me feel strange._

_And I meant every word of it._

***

_Oh my God, is he serious? Is...is this really happening? There’s no way he actually means any of this!_ I thought, calm on the outside, but freaking out on the inside.

I was used to being the nervous one, the one stumbling over my words and making a fool of myself. Finn, however, always projected himself with the utmost confidence. He was experienced, he was sociable and he was charming. I was probably the latest in a long line of girls he dated and, in the back of my head, I’d resigned myself to the fact that he meant a lot more to me than I to him and, should we enter into a romantic relationship, it probably wouldn’t last long. Another better, smarter, prettier girl would eventually show up and then it’d be ‘goodbye, Teagan’.

And that was okay, because I was lucky to have met him in the first place. Someone like me could only dream of meeting someone like Fi-

I stopped myself mid-thought. There I was with the low self-esteem again. The CBT had said that, when I found myself describing myself in a negative light, to think up a positive instead.

Here goes...

Even though I thought (and still think a little) I wasn’t good enough for Finn, clearly I must be because he’s standing here right now, telling me so to my face and stumbling over his words to boot. So, rather than question it or push him away, I should welcome it.

So I did. I gazed at the photo, admiring it. Finn had taken a stellar photo, the sunset in the backdrop of the loch and mountains resulting in a shot so scenic it looked as if it had come from a movie or a poster. I could only imagine how beautiful it must have been to witness in person.

“It’s beautiful. Send it to me and I’ll have it printed off and framed.” I smiled. “And I think about you pretty often, too.”

_I_ ** _dream_  ** _about you._ I almost added, but thankfully didn’t. We were having a moment here, no way was I about to ruin it by making things awkward.

I couldn’t help but grin when I saw his cheeks turning red. “Oh my God… Is someone tipsy or are you blushing?” I teased.

***

_“Oh, shut up!” I laughed aloud, giving Teagan a playful nudge before drinking a little wine. “Trust me, this is probably one of the few moments you'll ever see this face blush.”_

***

“No, no, no! Don’t you take this away from me, Finn! This is the only one I’m ever going to get over the ten blushes and counting you have over me already. Let me savor this just a little bit longer.”

***

_I shook my head, laughing, and took a breath. “I just didn't want to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Honesty doesn't always go the way one likes, and I'm something of a professional at fucking up someone's day. They practically pay me for it,” I joked._

_“And... I know it hasn’t been that long, but you're becoming quite a presence in my life. I don't want to scare you away.”_  

***

I let out a loud laugh when Finn told me he didn’t want to scare me away. What an absurd comment!

“Finn, I spent the first two dates  _convinced_ you had an ulterior motive for wanting to be around me while my ‘friends’ told me every chance they got that you were some predator and that I couldn’t trust you. Despite all of this, I still hung around, so, I guess what I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to worry about scaring me away.” I reassured him.

“...Of course, if you’re secretly a vampire that sparkles in the sunlight, we may have a problem,” I joked.

***

_“I don't sparkle. But after a good workout, I'm told I_ **_do_  ** _glisten a little,” I fired back with a wink._

***

_Oh, I bet you do._ I thought, the memory of him shirtless and those six-pack of abs he hid so well still fresh in my mind. 

The two of us standing there, smiling like a bunch of idiots, I felt a moment of boldness overtake me. Maybe it was because we were so much closer thanks to the experiences we’d had this past week that I felt I could dare to ask now. Or maybe I was feeling a bit more confident in myself thanks to the CBT exercises I’d been doing? 

Either way, I gathered my courage and asked.  

“Finn...I want to kiss you, but...I…” I didn’t want to admit that I’d never kissed a man before. That was embarrassing. “I’m nervous and I don’t want to mess it up…”  

A blush rose on my cheeks. I didn’t let it count to Finn’s tally since this one was all on me. 

***

_I know I didn't cause that...but it was still cute._

_With a wide smile, I said, “I remember my first kiss, back in the fifth grade. Pretty sure I botched that one 'cause she never tried again since.” I chuckled, happy that it got a laugh out of her. “Mostly kidding, but I do know the feeling. I'm a little nervous right now myself. Because I'd really like to kiss you too.”_

_I bumped her arm lightly. “Wanna know a little trick that helps in times like this?”_

***

“Go on.” I was desperate for anything that might make this easier. I’d hoped Finn might take the lead, actually being experienced in this field, but it looked like it was going to have to rest on me.

Failure was not an option.

***  

_“Alright.” I knew my voice had gotten a touch lower, a bit seductive, but not too much...just enough to steer her in the right direction. “Come here. Stand in front of me.”_

***

I stepped closer, enough so that I was up close and personal. His chest was right in front of me, as was his face in my field of vision.

My eyes fell on his lips. They were thin, more so on the top than the bottom, and a rich pink.

“Okay, what now?”

***

_I focused on her completely, memorizing the shine of her eyes, the softness of her cheeks when I reached up to rest my palms against them._

_“Now,” I said softly. “Consider this a teachable moment. When you kiss someone, what matters is that you want to kiss them. You're excited inside, like if you didn't kiss them you might burst. I'm not expecting you to be perfect, lovely. I just want you to enjoy it as much as I do. And...when you do kiss me? Keep this in mind.”_

_I wanted her to come after what she wanted without fear or nerves. It was a risk, but one worth taking. And I knew I was right._

_Before she could respond, I closed in and put my lips to hers, shutting my eyelids. Tilting just a bit to the side, I plant another kiss to them, tasting a drop of wine, adding to her sweetness. I draw back slowly, watched her chase a bit before opening her eyes._

_I finished my thought. “Surprise kisses are one of my favorites.” I set my hands down - one at my side, the other on her shoulder._

_There. This should give her something to go for._

***

A nervous giggle escaped me. I quickly looked away, a blush having returned to my cheeks.  

Finn = 11, Teagan = 1.

Did that count as a first kiss? It had been so quick, but I got the impression that was due to Finn wanting me to initiate the rest.

Not wanting this moment to be over, I was happy to oblige.  

Resting my left hand on Finn’s upper arm and my right on his cheek, I leaned in close and shut my eyes as I pressed my lips to his. It felt natural (plus, keeping your eyes open while kissing looks creepy as hell).

Soft. Moist. That’s how I would describe it. And warm, both in touch and in the feeling spreading through my body.  No way gross like I’d convinced myself it would be as a teen.

My hand left Finn’s cheek and moved down to his left hand, my fingers curling around them.

***

_Feeling her fingers curl around one hand, I responded by letting them interlace with mine. Sinking into the kiss, I brushed her neck lightly with my fingers, just enough to make her shiver a bit. I wanted to take the kiss deeper, show her more of what could be. Instead, I gave the most subtle tease._

_Teagan had pleasantly soft lips with a touch of fullness to them. And they were a bit sensitive. Or so I learned when I very gently grazed her bottom lip with my teeth for the briefest second before taking it between my lips for a moment._

_I pulled back to get a look at her face, and I smiled._

_“Radiant,” I whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. “This was better than dinner, and we haven't eaten yet,” I joked._

***

“Ye-Yeah.” I smiled back, face burning, but feeling incredibly happy with myself.

That went well. Very well. And it felt amazing, just as I’d hoped it would. His warm lips caressing my own… And, to think, we hadn’t even got into the heavy kissing stage yet!

Feeling incredibly giddy, I reluctantly pulled back and motioned towards the wok and board of prepared food. “I’m-I’m going to get started on dinner now. Won’t take very long, literally fifteen minutes.”

“Oh, that reminds me, did Mr. Regal like the cookies?” I asked, grabbing some oil.

***

_“Loved them! He enjoys them with his afternoon tea,” I replied. It was true. Also true: aside from giving me a couple to try, Regal kept the rest as a secret stash. “He sends his fondest regards and looks forward to seeing you again. Personally, I think he plans to ask you to make more cookies.”_

***

“Really!? He likes them that much?” I grinned. When I made them, I never thought they'd receive such a great reception. “I'll be happy to make him some more, they're really simple to make.”

***

_I looked around the kitchen. “Anything I can do to help?”_

***

I considered his question, glancing around. “Errrm...not really? This is really a one-person job. Just sit and relax, I'll get this ready. Why not read the comic?”

***

_“Good idea,” I agreed, sidling quietly next to her as she sets to work. “Probably for the best 'cause, if I stay here…”_

_I place a whisper of a kiss at the nape of her neck. “I’ll definitely kiss you again,” I breathed. “Can't have you burning your specialty on my account.”_

***

“Ah…!” I froze, almost dropping my spatula as I felt his soft lips against the skin of my neck, warmth radiating from the spot.

“Get out of the kitchen, you’ll sabotage me!” I playfully shoved him out.

***

_With that (and her kicking me out of the kitchen), I went for the comic and sat down for a little nostalgia trip. And wondered what effect I might have had on her after my little stunt._

*** 

I really wanted him to stay and keep on doing that. Or me to him. Kissing was not a sin in the Bible, and now that I knew Finn reciprocated to the extent I do, I could enjoy myself (  _Oh God, what if he french kisses me!?_ )

Swooning on the spot, I tried to focus on the cooking at hand.

***  

_I read the comic but, even though it was enjoyable, my mind wandered back to our moment in the kitchen. Mainly how I flustered about like a shy teenager._

_Not that it wasn't genuine. That was, in fact, largely the trouble. I was aware that, after the extensive research I had done in my downtime, that incorruptible souls tend to be generous in sharing their joy, in small but very noticeable ways. For a demon, that may not mean very much. But they're not unaffected. They feel it just the same._

_But me? The demon with slivers of humanity remaining in him? It felt warm and familiar. And, quite possibly, dangerous._

_Teagan was making me feel what I'd long forgotten. And it was frightening that she didn't even know the power she had._

***  

_Onions? Done. Peppers? Done. Ginger? Done. Curry powder and chilli powder added and mixed? Done and done! Now to throw in the chicken, throw in the rice, add some soy sauce, maybe an egg and we’re done! Yes!_

Humming a random tune under my breath as I continuously stirred the food around, I quickly peeked into the living room to see how Finn was doing. I was pleased to see that he didn’t look bored and was pretty engrossed in the comic book. I’d have to ask him later if he had a favorite.  

“Okay, here you go. Chicken Malaysian Fried Rice, courtesy of YouTube. I hope you like it.” I sat down next to Finn on the couch and handed him his bowl.

***

_This looks and smells amazing, and I told Teagan as much. I took a forkful of chicken, veggies, and rice, and let out an appreciative moan as soon as the taste hit my taste buds. The complexity of even the simplest Asian dishes came from their seasoning blends, which I learned from spending time in the Far East long ago. This is hot and delicious and savory. I could taste every single seasoning at its base, and how it combined. Everything was cooked perfectly._

_“This is fantastic, Teagan,” I complimented. “You got this from YouTube?”_

***

“A lot of the stuff I cook I got from Youtube.” I said, taking a bite out of a spoonful of rice and chicken. “I kind of had to. When I first got here, I couldn’t cook  _at all_. Like, I didn’t even know how to cook an egg properly!”

I wasn’t exaggerating. Growing up, my parents never let me show any independence. Any I did acquire (tailoring my first suit, the books and comics I read) was either quashed or had to be hidden and barely touched for fear they’d go the same way. I was  _completely_ dependant on them, something they lorded over me (“Look at all we do for you!”), despite the fact that they were the ones who wouldn’t let me be free.

It was yet another reason why becoming homeless hit me so hard. Anyone else would have had some skills to fall back on, but I had absolutely nothing.

When I met Dawn, cooking was the first thing I taught myself, mainly because I was determined to pay my way somehow. As for Dawn, I reckon she loved the idea of having her own glorified maid running around after her.

It’d taken a while, but after a lot of trial and error, I liked to think I was somewhat decent now. At the very least my eggs were edible now.

  ...In a way, I was like a puppet. After spending my whole life being controlled by the puppeteers - my parents - my strings were cut and I was cruelly left abandoned on the streets to rot. However, rather than being the end of me, I learned how to survive, how to  _live_ , through sheer willpower alone.

I suppose, if you wanted to look on the positive side, being kicked out was as much a blessing as a curse. If it’d never happened, what kind of life would be I be living now? It wouldn’t be much of one at all. I’d be existing, still under my parent’s thumb, and slowly dying on the inside.

That Pinocchio song played in my head as I munched on my food.

_‘I had strings, but now I'm free._ **_There are no strings on me._  ** _’_

***

_“Nothing wrong with that, especially if you can make something this delicious,” I replied, holding up the bowl._

_“A resourceful woman who can cook, bake, tailor, help others...is there anything you_ **_can't_  ** _do? Or better yet, anything that you want to do but haven't tried yet?”_

***  

I blushed. (  _Finn = 12. For fuck’s sake, Teagan…_ )

“Oh, plenty of things. I’d love to go see the world, especially sightseeing. I want to see the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower,  _everything_.” I took another bite. “What else? Oh yeah, it’d be nice to learn another language - still trying to make up my mind, though. Definitely not French. I’ve  _tried_ it aaaand I just ended up butchering the language.”

“It’s hard to list it all off the top of my head, but like I said, you’d have better luck finding out what I  _don’t_ want to try, haha.”

***

_I laughed. “Well, as far as the language is concerned...parler en français est amusant, mais beaucoup comme faire de la musique dans un violon si vous ne l'utilisez pas.”_

_She let out a stunned laugh. “Okay, what does that mean?”_

_I replied, “Speaking French is fun, but a lot like pissing in a violin if you don't use it.”_

***

_Oh my God, he still has his accent while talking! It’s like a hybrid of the two!_

_Freish! ...No wait, that sounds stupid. Irench!_  

My weird sense of humor was out of control. Sad thing was I wasn’t even drunk. God knows what shit I’d come out with if I was. Finn did  _NOT_ need to see that!

“See, that’s the thing about French. No matter what you say, it always sounds cultured. It’s like how German sound pretty aggressive, or the Queen’s English, like Mr. Regal’s, sounds posh. Or at least that’s what  _I_ think.”

“So, what made you learn French? Tried to impress a girl because it’s ‘the language of love’?” I teased. “If so, then you really shot yourself in the foot on that one, Finn.”

*** 

_“Nah, and I disagree about it being a language of love. If anything, it's extremely odd and confusing. Like German,” I joked. “Actually, I learned it in my travels. It helps when you're going to different countries and want to communicate with the locals.”_

_(Well, that and being a demon often means that you know every language on earth, dead and alive. But...baby steps.)_

_“And anyway, if we're talking love languages, there’s plenty of underrated ones out there that are just brilliant. Not to brag, but I personally find Gaelic pretty damn romantic.”_

***

“Gaelic is good.” I agreed, nodding my head.

And then, “‘  _Ní leor teanga amháin._ ’”

“Now, before you go thinking, ‘Teagan, you know Gaelic?!’, I don’t. I only know that one sentence. Apparently it means ‘One language is never enough’, which kind of resonated with me. Honestly, if I could every language in the world, I would.” 

“Do you speak Gaelic?” I asked.

***

_“Fluently. ‘_ **_Furain an t-aoigh a thig, greas an t-aoigh tha falbh_  ** _’. It's a saying that means ‘Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest,’” I answered. “Yours was pretty good. Might be able to pick it up pretty easily if you wanted.”_

***

I gave a quick squeal of joy. I hadn’t actually expected him to say yes when I’d asked the question. After all, lots of people knew French, Spanish and German, but Gaelic? It was practically a dying language, which was a real shame.

“What? Me? No way!” I scoffed. “Gaelic is a really complicated language! I’m super impressed you’re fluent in it!”

“...Of course I’m willing to learn...if you’ll teach me?” I said shyly.

***

_“I'd be happy to be your language tutor. We'll have little study times, different lessons...it'll be fun. Plus, you're already a good student.” I smirked._

***

I blinked, confused. “I am? But...you haven’t taught me anything…?”

“You know what, doesn’t matter. Thank you, I look forward to our lessons.”

Chalking it up to Finn just messing with me, I then remembered that we had some unfinished business to do with a certain bespoke suit.

“Sooo… I still need to do your measurements for the suit. I know we’re on a date, but…”

***

_I explained with a smile, “What I meant is that you've picked up on everything you set your mind to so far - cooking, learning to tailor, kissing - and that, to me, says you're a good student.”_

_At the mention of the suit, I set my empty bowl down on the table. “No worries, just let me know what you need me to do and I’m there. In fact, I'll take our dinner dishes to the kitchen, and you grab your supplies. Sound good?”_  

***

“Okay, 1. Kissing does not count. And 2. Languages are a totally different ball game! That takes months if not years to become fluent in, especially if you’re an adult.” I corrected. Realizing I was being negative about myself again, I added afterwards, “...But thank you. If that’s what you think, I’m touched.”

I jumped to my feet. “Thank you so much! I swear, I’ll make this as quick as possible. It’ll only take, like, ten to twenty minutes. And once I’m done, we can watch The Lego Movie!”

I didn’t need very much. I already had a measurement template to work with, I just needed my fabric tape measure and we’d be good to go.  

“I’ll put some music on in the background, too.” I called out as I put the TV on, leaving it on some random music channel. The song currently on was Abba’s ‘Mamma Mia’ -  _God, I love this song. Who doesn’t like Abba?_

***

_I came out of the kitchen, hearing all she said, and I had to laugh. “First of all, kissing totally counts as a study. One doesn't become a proficient kisser without careful study and hours of practice,” I refuted in mock seriousness. “Second, language does take time, but you can pick it up long as you got patience. And you got me - I believe in ya.”_

_I listened, bopped my head to the music. “My mum played this song until the wallpaper peeled off. Used to hate it, but...I listen to it and think of her.”_

***

I laughed. “No surprises there. Abba is more for the ladies than the men, isn’t it? It’s so catchy though.” All the while I beamed inwardly at Finn’s praise. That he would have such a high opinion of me and think I’d be able to learn Gaelic was very heartening.

“Okay…” I got my measuring tape ready, tongue sticking out. “Let’s do this.”

_Right, remember the instructions… Tape should be held flat against the body. Tight enough that it doesn’t droop, but not so tight it causes discomfort. And the measurements should be taken to the nearest quarter inch…_ I reminded myself.

I started with Finn’s neck, along the lower section of the neck, just below his Adam’s Apple. I was quick to jot down the size, aware of the discomfort that came from having something around the throat.

After that came a measurement of his full chest (he did the ‘Finn pose’, trying to make me laugh and very nearly succeeded), his shoulders, and his right and left sleeve.

“Hey, Finn. Question. What’s your favorite accent?”

_Mamma Mia_ had long since finished playing, replaced by  _Wicked Game_ by Chris Isaak. Another favorite of mine. It was so haunting and melancholic.      

***  

_“Hmm... good question.” I pondered it for a moment before it finally came to me. “It’s a tie between Amharic and West Indian. Whenever I hear someone speak in those languages with the native accents, they remind me of music.”_

_Watching Teagan work, moving her measuring tape from one area to the next with such concentration, was satisfying. She was absolutely in her element, if the new shimmer in her soul was anything to go by. “How about you?”_

***

I didn’t reply immediately, measuring around the fullest part of the bicep. After that, I quickly moved onto his wrist, than his waist and stomach.  

“Honestly? ...Irish.” I looked down, smiling,  _knowing_ that he was going to make a comment.

“And I’m not just saying that because of you. I’ve always liked the accent. There’s something so pleasing to the ears about it. It can be both rough and full of passion, but also incredibly gentle and calming. Like you, actually. Anyone ever told you that’d you’d be perfect for one of those ASMR videos that are popping up on YouTube?”

I may have been babbling as a way to buy some time as I was acutely aware that I was going to have to measure Finn’s lower body next…

***

_“You think so?” I grinned. “Hmmm... you're probably the first to tell me that.”_

_I knew Teagan was stalling, knew that she was a bit... alarmed about measuring my lower body. The faint pink in her cheeks gave it away._

_And I seriously considered taking advantage of that for the sole purpose of messing with her. I'm no hair trigger down below, by no means of the imagination. But the thought of pretending that I was? Pretty tough to resist. 'Course, it could also send her running to her room and she'd never speak to me again._

_So I stood and weighed my options. “You know,” I started. “There's nothing to be embarrassed about. And I can control myself if you're worried about that brand of awkward.”_

***

_Oh shit, he guessed it!_

Flustered, I tried to salvage this a little. “No, no! This is all down to me, really. Th-This is the first time I’ve ever done this, and I’m just trying to get over my embarrassment and be professional, you know?”

“I’ll be fine. I can do this.” I said, albeit with uncertainty.

The next came the hips/seat. I placed the tape around the fullest part of Finn’s hips and quickly as possible. His crotch was literally right in my face, stirring up some very dirty thoughts within me.

_Be professional._ **_Be professional_  ** _._

Next, I measured straight down the front, from the base of the neck to the point level with your thumb knuckle. That was the front jacket length length down, now for the front chest and the back. Then came the trouser waist...

Quickly, efficiently, I sped through the measurements, momentarily forgetting my embarrassment.

...Right up until I was back in close proximity Finn’s crotch area.

Measuring for the trousers inseam, I placed one half of the tape at the lowest point of Finn’s crotch, and the other to the floor. Thankfully I didn’t have to ask him to remove his shoes as he had taken them off after coming in earlier.

“S-Sorry, almost finished,” I stuttered, unable to look up.  _Oh God, I can feel his dick..._   _My fingers are literally resting right up against the bulge…!_

  I knew measuring a man up close and personal was going to be part of my job, should I succeed in becoming a tailor. I’d accepted this and pledged to remain the utmost professional. In theory. In practice, however, it was hard to keep my composure. I think I could be excused as it was my first time. Plus, the man I was measuring was  _Finn Bálor._ No female tailor would be able to keep it together around him!

Meanwhile, the song continued:

 

_What a wicked game to play_

_to make me feel this way._

_What a wicked thing to do_

_to let me dream of you._

_What a wicked thing to say_

_you never felt this way._

_What a wicked thing to do_

_to make me dream of you._

_And I wanna fall in love…_

***

_Chris Isaak’s song could not have been more appropriate for this moment._

_Anyone else who might have been in the room with us would not be able to deny that there was a charge in the air._

_It was simmering, intense. I felt it as surely as I could feel her hand on the very place she stalled to get to._

_If it had been anyone else, I would have gripped their hair, tugged back sharply, and (in so many words) told them to get to work._

_But this was Teagan, as close to a paragon of innocence as anyone is likely to find. But I also know her mind, what she wants._

_It's just not the right time._

_I clear my throat, and it still feels rough. “Teagan?”_

_She slowly looks up at me._

_Fuck. Those eyes and lips. On her knees before me. The things I imagined…_

_Not yet._

_I tried again. “Did you...get what you needed?”_  

***

“Erm… Yes- We-well almost. I just have four more left, then I’ll be finished…” I responded.

Now came the hardest part of all. One that made measuring the trousers inseam look tame in comparison.

I was literally going to have to measure Finn’s crotch area now.  _Fuck my life…_

“I-I-I’m sorry, please tell me if it’s too tight.” I said. And then, with lightning fast speed, I placed one half of the measuring tape on the top of Finn’s jean’s waistband, and then looped the other end to the back top.

I quickly removed the measuring tape and wrote down the size, my fingers shaking.

After that, the others - thighs, knees, right and left sleeves - just fell into place. I had them done in no time, marking the end of the measurements. Which was a huge relief for me, because, if I’d had to remain on my knees before Finn a second longer, I’m not sure what would have happened.

“Thank you so much for that, it’s a real big help.” I said gratefully, putting the filled out form away. “Kind of feel like I let myself down a little, though. I really wanted to keep cool and be completely professional…”

  ***

_“You did great for your first time. Plus, at least you got the initial awkwardness out of the way. It should be a lot easier from here on,” I encouraged in a light-hearted tone. “So give yourself a pat on the back for that.”_

_Inwardly, I gave myself a pat on the back for keeping my inner demon at bay. Had she been on her knees any longer, this night would have taken a far less innocent turn._  

***

“Okay, so, now that we’ve got that out of the way, it’s LEGO movie time?” I suggested, trying to steer the conversation away from the unresolved sexual tension, as well as cool myself down so I wasn’t so damn flustered.

“Also, would you like dessert? I have Ben & Jerry’s. I haven’t quite graduated to baking just yet. Cookies was literally my first foray. Next will probably be brownies.”

***

_Yes. A great distraction right about now._

_“Both sound like a winner to me,” I agreed. “What flavors you got? Honestly, I'd say brownies are the next logical step. I know a great recipe for one-bowl brownies I can point you to.”_

***

“Oh really? Send it my way, I’ll try it out.”  

Heading to the kitchen, I opened up the freezer and took out the mini cups to show Finn. Dawn, of all people, had complained, wanting the regular sized tubs. I could never wrap my head around it considering she was such a stickler for her weight until her now ex-boyfriend, Danny, broke up with her and I found her eating from one and sobbing into it as if she stepped right out of a cliche chick-flick.

“We have Caramel Chew Chew - okay, that’s an adorable name for an ice cream - Chocolate Fudge Brownie, and Peanut Butter Cup.” I held them out to Finn. “Pick whichever one you want! ...Or not, if it’s going to ruin your abs. That would be just…” 

My eyes trailed down to his chest, remembering the sight of his sculpted chest.“...Tragic.”

_Teagan,_ ** _shut up!_  **My mind admonished me. I really wasn’t helping matters. The movie couldn’t come on fast enough.

***

_“Why, Teagan, I appreciate your concern for my figure,” I teased, lifting up my shirt to flash my abs at her. I chuckled as she blushed again._

_“I'll take Peanut Butter Cup, please.”_

***

“Thought so.” I handed it over to him with a spoon. As for me, I decided to go with Caramel Chew Chew, because, as well as having a fitting name, it also looked and tasted delicious.

Our dessert now picked out, Finn and I went to sit together on the couch, ready to watch the movie which we’ve already, individually, watched more than twice. Do we care? Absolutely not! I can’t speak for Finn, but it’ll be a cold day in Hell when I ever get sick of this movie or ‘Everything is Awesome’.

Watching films is fun, but having someone share the experience with and make comments with takes a good experience and makes it great. Finn was not disappointing in that regard.  

***

_As many times as I've seen this film - even as an instrument of torture - it never gets old. But watching it with Teagan, someone who enjoys it as much as I do, is easily placing as my favorite way to watch it._

_We laugh at Emmett's goofball mannerisms, Vitruvius’ quick insults, and, of course…_

_“Honey, where are my paaaaants?”_

***

“That show totally jumped the shark after season 4. I hear the crossover series, ‘Honey, Where’s My Shiiiirt?’ is a lot better.” I jested, before breaking into laughter hearing and seeing Emmett’s reaction to the crappy daytime show.

I let out a mock gasp of outrage when the villain of the movie had Good Cop erased so there was only Bad Cop. “  _Those monsters!_ ”

“How does it feel to know the kid’s got the same name as you?” I smiled up at Finn.  

***

_“Well you know, I'm not quite as adorable,” I ribbed. “Still, always nice to see a fellow Finn!” I threw my fist in the air with pride._

_“We totally need to build Benny's spaceship though. That would be awesome as a project together!”_  

***

“Oh my God, yes!” I nodded enthusiastically, very much on board with the idea. Building LEGO with Finn had been in the back of my mind since our trip to LegoLand. “We definitely need to bring that little 1980-something space guy’s creation to life!”

By the time the movie had finished, it was late and I was getting quite sleepy (my tolerance for staying up into the late hours was pretty pathetic). Normally, it would be around this point that Finn either left or we both went to bed, me in my room and him in the guest room. Problem was, I really didn’t want either to happen.

I wanted to spend the whole night on this couch with Finn.

Shifting closer, I rested my head against his shoulder. “This has been such a good date. Really makes up for how the other two turned out.”

***

_I chuckled. “Well, it hasn't been all bad. And we're still hanging around each other, so...must be doing something right, yeah?”_

_It was a fun night. Teagan started to look a bit tired, likely not heading to her room right away. “I had a good time tonight, too. We should do movie nights more often.”_

***

“Clearly. I mean, I  _still_ can’t believe I managed to land a second date with you after our first one. I really wish I could figure out what you saw me in me that made you want to see me again. If I’d being you, I would have just let me leave when I tried.”

I don’t think that counted as putting myself down so much as an honest opinion, but who knows?

I smiled at the mention of more movie nights. “I’d love that. And, if we’re feeling really masochistic, we can even pick some ‘so bad it’s good’ movies and just bitch and moan through all of it? The power of hate is just as unifying as love, I hear.”  

Suddenly a yawn escaped me. I should definitely head to bed now.

However, I didn’t. This night had been so lovely, I just didn’t want it to end. Even if I ended up falling asleep here, I was staying with Finn, I decided.

“Fair warning, I might fall asleep on you. You want to call it a night or stay over?” I asked.  

***

_I was already comfortable, and considered shutting down with her._

_But then, I'd miss the opportunity to see what her dreams had in store. Couldn't have that, could I?_

_“I'm pretty good right here with you, if you don't mind.”_  

***

I smiled. “Great. Let’s just stay like this, then. You and me on this awesome date.”

Without thinking (sleepiness will do that), I stretched out my legs and bent down to rest my head on his lap.

I closed my eyes to go to sleep. I hoped this didn’t inconvenience Finn too much, but then I figured he’d slide my head off whenever he was ready to leave or head to bed properly.  He could wake me up if he had to, I didn’t mind.

“Night, Finn.” I mumbled.

***

_“Night, lovely,” I whispered back, stroking her hair and watching as she drifted._

_Teagan really is a winning creature, as Regal said. And I felt like the luckiest bastard in the whole of creation to share space with her._

_Soon her subconscious would start up something new. It's become my favorite place to play. Wonder what Teagan’s mind has in store tonight..._

 


	21. Life is Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teagan's dreams aren't nearly as strange as her real life...but close enough when a demon is involved.

It had to be said, my dreams as of late had ranged from ultra realistic, to nightmarish and freaky as hell.

But tonight’s dream? Pretty normal, which was kind of refreshing.

I was a student at an all-girls boarding school. The uniform was as stereotypical as you can get and the layout and design of the place looked like something out of Harry Potter ( _ why couldn’t it be Hogwarts!? _ ). That was pretty much it.

Oh, and I was late to my English lesson. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but I was.

Running down the corridor, my bag trailing behind me, I skidded to a halt outside my class. I didn’t have a watch on me, but I knew that I had to be at least twenty minutes late. Which wasn’t great, but my teacher was known to be pretty cool as far as authority figures went, so I was sure I didn’t have to worry about getting into trouble.

After getting my breath back, I opened the door and entered the classroom. The lesson had already gone underway.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” I said, taking my seat at the back.

***

_ Oh, really now? I wasn’t expecting this, but I'm definitely intrigued. _

_ I settled in to shut down, but not completely. Just enough to keep up appearances when she awakens. _

_ Brush up, Teagan. Class is now in session. _

***

_ So far, so good _ , I thought in relief as I got settled in, putting my pencil case and books out on the desk. As expected, my teacher, Mr. Bálor, was fine about the lateness. Granted, he was busy teaching, but he didn’t seem overly vexed when he saw me enter.

Opening up my book, I listened to the lesson at hand, eyes trained on Mr. Bálor.

I had a crush on him, but then, most of the girls in the class did. Who wouldn’t? He was so handsome he could have chosen a career path as a model if he so wished. He spoke with a sexy Irish accent, had the most striking blue eyes I’d ever seen, and a lean but incredibly fit body. And personality-wise, he was just the nicest, coolest teacher you could ever hope to have, always joking around with the students-

I blinked. It had happened again. I’d forgotten all about the lesson, too busy swooning over Mr. Bálor.  _ Get a grip, Teagan! _

Around me, I could hear my classmates gossiping to one another. Most of them were random dream characters, but there were a few I recognized. Some were old classmates whom I knew, but never talked to.

Dawn, Laura, Samantha and Jessica were there, too. Hilariously as adults, like me, despite the boarding school setting. That’s dreams for you, I guess. 

They were  _ exactly _ as I remembered them to be.

“He’s so hot. You think he has a girlfriend?” I heard Samantha whisper.

“A guy like him? Definitely. Bet he has a bunch on the side.” Laura said. “Oh look, Dawn’s flirting with him again. Heh, she’s undid another button on her shirt, really showing off her goods.”

“She has to. Not like she can impress him with her brains.” Samantha snickered.

“Hey, give Dawnie some credit, she knows how to get what she wants. She can wrap a man around her little finger.” Jessica said smugly.

They weren't wrong. Dawn was pretty attractive and knew it. Had a lot of boys courting her, and even older men. She - and unbeknownst to her, Laura, Samantha and Jessica as well - had been aggressively trying to seduce Mr. Bálor since she first saw him. (It was kind of scary how ruthless they were in their efforts to have an affair with him.)

“Finn - Can I call you Finn? - who’s your favourite student in the class?”

It was obvious Dawn was fishing for a flirtatious reply, but she needn’t have bothered. Mr. Bálor was obviously going to reply with something neutral like, “Oh, you know I can’t pick favourites”, or “I like all of you equally.” 

***

_ Funny how she’s just as annoying here as she had been in real life. I turned to her and, with a polite smile, replied, “Technically, I’m not allowed to answer that. Doesn’t mean I don't have favorites. Preferably, the ones that don't ask such asinine questions during class.” _

_ The class ‘oooohed’ as Dawn's face blanched. Wasn't the answer she expected, I bet. “Look, I have my favorites. What teacher doesn't? I especially like the ones who listen to the lessons and do their very best in my class.” _

_ Then, looking at Teagan, I added with a quick wink, “Even if they run late to class sometimes.” _

_ She blushed a bright red. Really, it was just too easy. “Right, today we're talking about the differences between metaphors and similes, and when each one is appropriate in writing.” _

***

_ I’m...one of Mr. Bálor’s favourites? _

I wasn’t sure how that had happened. I was the quietest in class, always sitting at the back, always keeping my head down and doing my work. I was practically invisible to my classmates. So much so that there was one time, in elementary school, where I went to go to the toilet and I was so quiet coming back, that the teacher didn’t even realise I’d returned.

The fact that I even registered on my English teacher’s radar was...unbelievable.

Blushing, I tried to focus on the work at hand. This should be easy, metaphors and similes weren’t hard to grasp.

“Tay-gun, you’ve been a busy girl.” I heard Samantha say. When I looked up, I saw her leaning across her desk at me, grinning wide. That unnerved me. “I didn’t know you were a total teacher’s pet for Sir.”

“Yeah. I mean, here we are, competing to see who can fuck him first, and you’ve secretly being in first place this whole time? That’s not cool. You don’t go behind your friend’s backs like that.” Laura chided me. 

“I-I’m not…” I shook my head. I could see where this was heading and I didn’t like it. 

“Awww, look, Tay-gun’s blushing at the thought of sex! How cute is that?”

“I think you’re both giving her too much credit. This is Teagan we’re talking about here. He probably just said that because he feels sorry for her. I mean, we’re the only friends she has, plus her parents don't L.O.V.E her.” Jessica mouthed, knowing damn well her words cut me to the core. “I mean, she's practically mooching off of Dawn.”

Laura laughed. “Jessica, you can be such a bitch!”

I stayed silent. I was used to this. Laura and Samantha were okay the majority of the time, but soon as Jessica got involved, the worst of them came out and it was suddenly ‘let's make fun of Teagan’ time. It was one of the main reasons I avoided hanging out with Dawn unless it was just the two of us. 

(If I were to interpret my dream later, I’d say Dawn and co represented my subconscious fears and insecurities, regarding myself and my relationship with Finn. One did not get rid of them overnight, after all.) 

Speaking of Dawn, she returned to her seat next to Jessica then, looking putout. “I don’t get it. No matter how many moves I put on the guy, he doesn’t bite. If this carries on, I’m going to have to resort to drastic measures.” She paused, picking on the atmosphere. “What? You all talking about something without me? Spill it!”

“I think we should be paying attention to the lesson!” I said, desperate for this conversation to end. “We’ll get into trouble!”

 “No, we won’t! You know Mr. Bálor never gives out detentions. He’s a total pushover!” Dawn interfected, patting my hand. “So? Come on, girls, what did I miss?”

Laura, Jessica and Samantha smiled at me, like a bunch of sharks.  _ Shit _ . 

*** 

_ As I taught the class, I could hear girls chattering around Teagan. Ruler in hand, I sauntered about the room until I wound up in their area. _

_ So I decided to have a little fun. _

_ “Case in point, class, Jessica and her friends talking during the lesson is a perfect example. Similes use qualifiers such as 'like’ or 'as’. For instance, I could put it in a sentence like this: The girls talking in the corner were like clucking hens.” _

_ This elicits giggling from the class. Jessica and the others gasped at being caught out. _

_ “On the other hand,” I continue. “Metaphors say that something simply  _ **_is_ ** _ , no qualifiers needed. So I can now say this: The clucking hens in the corner were made an example of during class.” More giggles. Even Teagan (quietly) chuckled. “Alright, knowing this, who can tell me a few famous metaphors?” _

***

Hands shot up around the class. Mr. Bálor pointed his ruler at a random student to answer. 

“Eyes were saucers, Sir.”

 “Love is a fine wine.”

“Raining cats and dogs.”

I knew a metaphor I could use. Instinctively, I raised my hand, however I immediately lost my cool and lowered it. I hoped Mr. Bálor hadn’t taken notice.

***

_ I saw Teagan's hand go up, but it went down as quickly. _

_ Can't let her escape that easily. I mean, I could...but where's the fun in that? _

_ “Great answers so far! Teagan, your hand was up. Did you have something to add?” _

***

Heads turned to face me, expressions ranging from blank to puzzlement. Some of them no doubt even thinking ‘Who is that?’, and others ‘She can  _ talk _ ?!’

“Er… You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, Mr. Bálor?”

Too late I realise how that example comes across. Unfortunately for me, there’s no way to take it back. The second it’s out, Dawn and the others pounced on it like a bunch of hyenas.

“Awww, that’s so cute, Tay-gun!” Samantha squealed loudly.

“OMG, did you really just confess your love to a teacher in front of everyone?” Dawn clapped. “Is that what you girls were talking about without me? Does our Tea have a crush on Sir? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“What I want to know is when the fuck did you get so bold? Next thing you’ll be asking him out on a date!” Said Laura.

“Or stalking him.” Jessica muttered scathingly. “Wouldn’t surprise me if you were that type.”

I stared down at my fists shaking. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to be anywhere but here. Why did I have to raise my hand? Why didn’t I think before speaking?  _ Why me? _

***

_ “Yes! Very good, Teagan. Also, very sweet of you,” I replied sincerely, a pleased grin on my face as I moved on. _

_ “She makes a good point, though. Many of our most famous metaphors come from music. Lyrics in popular songs are riddled with both metaphors and similes. Throw out a few of your favorite song lyrics that fit the bill.” _

***

Again the students answered.

“‘You're my downfall, you're my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues!’”

“‘Bright eyes, burning like fire. Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?’”

“‘One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon.’”

I wanted to hear more examples, try and guess the songs and artists, but Dawn and her friends, having grown bored, had other ideas in mind.

“So, I’ve just gotten an idea that I think will be a right laugh.” Laura announced in a low voice. The others huddled closer, eager to hear. “I say, after class, we try out our best pickup line on Sir. Whoever gets the best reaction wins.”

My eyes widened. Were they  _ serious? _ That was seriously crossing a line, they’d be lucky not to get suspended.

Dawn noticed my mortified expression. “Oh dear, I think Tea’s getting jealous. Come on, live a little, it’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, you’re not worried about a little competition are you?” Samantha teased. “I mean, this should be no problem for you considering you're Mr. Bálor’s ‘favourite’. Do it, do it, you bitch!”

“Don’t worry, if you can’t think of a pickup line, I’ll be happy to help.” Jessica smirked.

I shook my head furiously. “N-No! Leave me out of this!”

Why does it always have to be this way with them? Laura would suggest an idea, Jessica would instantly be up for it, while Samantha would egg everybody on. As for Dawn, as the de facto ‘leader’, she gave the go-ahead.

I looked at her, silently pleading.

My heart fell at her answer. “I love it! Sorry, Tea, but it’s happening. You can’t back out now, you’re one of us, you have to take part!”

I wanted to leg it out of there the second class ended, but I knew the girls would still find a way to drag me into it somehow. It’d be better if I stayed, if only because I could defend myself once to Mr. Bálor once the shit hit the fan.

*** 

_ “Excellent answers, everyone! I think I got a playlist of new music to check out, thanks to you,” I joked. “Class is about over, but before I let you chill out for the last few minutes, quick reminder to write your own piece using a combination of similes and metaphors. Poetry, short stories, songs - whatever you want as long as you have fun, and it's at least a hundred and fifty words. You got until Monday, and I can't wait to see what you come up with. Any questions, my desk is always open.”  _

_ A pair of students came to me after I got to my seat asking about the assignment. Once I got them sorted out, they shyly thanked me and returned to their desks until the bell rang.  _

_ I noticed Teagan's discomfort. I hoped they weren't doing something I'd have to kill them for later.  _

_ Although I wouldn't actually mind that so much. I've already got a way to do it. _

*** 

I watched as the students filed out of the classroom, the lesson now officially over. It took all my willpower not to join them, just get the hell out of there. 

But, I couldn’t. I was too scared of what they’d say knowing I wasn’t around to stop them. Dawn and the other’s idea of what was funny differed greatly to mine. Theirs was more mean spirited. They were the kind to love pranks where someone ended up humiliated or tricked. 

“Okay, showtime, girls.” Dawn rubbed her hands, gleefully.

Dread growing in me, I watched, dithering by my desk, as the girls stood up and approached Mr. Bálor. 

Laura was first up. “Sir, do you have a napkin?” She asked, the smile on her face making it quite clear that she didn’t need or want one, that there was another meaning behind those words. “Because you sure are making me wet.” 

She winked and my mouth fell open, aghast. 

This was going to be every bit as terrible as I feared it would be.

 ***

_ I cocked an eyebrow. _

_ You've got to be kidding me. And they've dragged poor Teagan into this?  _

_ Calmly and coolly, I replied, “You do know that this little game of yours is highly inappropriate and will get you detention, right?” _

*** 

They’d been warned. If they were smart, they’d listen and drop it.  **Immediately.**

But they didn’t. The four of them just giggled, finding Mr. Bálor’s reaction hilarious. For them, this was one big game. I feared how far they would take it. The four of them could be very vindictive when angered -  _ especially _ Laura. I would not put it past one of them to try and blackmail our teacher, should he not play ball. 

“Awww, don’t be like that, Sir. We’re just having a little bet, is all. Besides, don’t act like you don’t love four beautiful ladies,” I noted how I wasn’t included, “fighting over you. You’re a man, after all.” Samantha said.

“Okay, here’s my one! Sir, my hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them up? Eh?”

“OMG, Samantha! How’s that any better than mine?” 

***

_ “That's another for detention,” I remarked. “It should be doubled just for how awful it was.”  _

_ I looked at the others sternly. “Anyone else? I have room for all of you in here. This is highly disrespectful. I can take a good joke, but this isn't funny. This is your second warning.” _

*** 

_ Please listen and stop. Please listen and stop. _ I prayed over and over. 

They still had a chance. Only Samantha and Laura had gotten detentions, but Dawn and Jessica could still drop it.

I knew there was no chance of that happening. Once this group set their minds on something, they didn’t start covering their tracks or backing out until after things had gone past the point of no return for them. 

“Our second? Oooh, what happens on our third? Are you, like, going to get all ‘no more Mr. Nice Guy’ on us? Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it.” Dawn responded disparagingly. 

“So, who’s next? Me, you Jess, or Tea?”

“Definitely me.” Jessica stepped forward, the picture of confidence. If anything, she carried herself as if she was better than Mr. Bálor. “Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, if you’ll be my 9.” 

Dawn laughed. “That one’s pretty good, but mine is way better. See for yourself.” 

Batting her eyelids at our teacher, she said, “Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It's like French kissing but you're going down under.” And then, in a sultry tone, “ _ Eat me. _ ”

This was... _ horrible _ . To use a metaphor, I was watching a car wreck take place. Only problem was, rather than be a bystander, I was in the passenger seat, desperately trying to unbuckle the seatbelt so I didn’t go down with them. 

***

_ Annoying? I think I'll take it back. They were about to learn something new about their ‘cool’ teacher.  _

_ Smile tight, tone ice-cold, I stated sharply, “There it is then. Detention for all four of you today, with calls going out to your parents. No getting out of it. Kiss your afternoon goodbye, ladies.” _

***

It was only a matter of time until it happened, but, with that, the indignation begun. 

“You’re seriously giving us detention? That fucking sucks! I thought you were cool,” Dawn stamped her foot like a petulant child.

“What kind of man doesn’t like all this female attention? Are you gay or something?” Samantha asked. 

“It’s not that. It’s because he has a favourite. I bet if Teagan told him  _ her _ pickup line, he’d be all for it.” Laura sneered. She looked over at me. “Well, come on. Tell him! We did ours.” 

“Yeah, Tea! It’s not fair that we should get detention and you get off scot-free!” 

The four of them called over to me to join them, but I refused. There was no way in hell I was going over there and willingly taking part in any of this. I didn’t want to get on Mr. Bálor’s bad side, I didn’t want to get detention, and I certainly didn’t want my mother receiving any calls to do with pickup lines on a teacher! 

I should have known they wouldn’t let it end there. 

Jessica, a cool smile on her face, said, “Coward. Since you won’t honour the bet, I’ll do it for you.” She turned to Mr. Bálor and said, with absolutely no shame, “Are you a taxidermist, Sir? Wanna try stuffing my pussy anyway?”

If the ground could swallow me up, I would let it then. My face burning, I shook my head. “N-No, I didn’t…! S-Sir, I have nothing to do with this!” 

“Don’t lie, Tea!” 

“Yeah, if you’re not a part of this, why did you stick around?” Laura challenged. 

“I… I didn’t want to go and find out you’d said something bad about me…” I trailed off as the four of them just stared at me like I was the biggest idiot ever.

I was in trouble. I was doing a poor job defending myself, while it was their word against mine. Not only that, even if Mr. Bálor believed me, he’d still find me guilty by association since I was their friend and normally lumped in with them when they pulled cringe worthy stunts like this. I could have left, but I didn’t.

*** 

_ “I don't think that's the case at all, Jessica,” I said. “I think you all had everything to do with this and pulled her into this so she'd be in just as much trouble because of your actions. However, she could also have left at any time had there not been some...intimidation.”  _

_ Truth is, I felt for Teagan. But I knew just the way to fix it and make her day a bit better. _

_ And ensure that her “friends” pay dearly. _

_ “So here's what's going to happen. You're  _ **_all_ ** _ getting detention. However, it will be done separately. You four” - I gestured to Dawn, Samantha, Jessica, and Laura - “will go first. Teagan will sit in the library and come in after your time is up. She doesn't need the added punishment of being lumped in with you lot. And while you're in my detention, you will sit and do your homework. You will not speak unless spoken to by me, so no talking to each other. And for every time you break a rule, that's an additional five minutes you stay. If you're consistent about it, stricter punishment will be enforced. Got it? Good. Because it starts now.” _

_  I nod to Teagan, who looks especially worried. “Head to the library. Come back in about an hour.” _

*** 

I should have just nodded and followed orders. Now was not the time to piss off Mr. Bálor considering his mood had already soured considerably thanks to Dawn and co’s stunt.

“Wh-why do I get a detention?” I asked, faltering by the door. “I haven’t done anything!” 

*** __

_ I stood up slowly and scooted her out before the others had a chance to say anything. Closing the door, I firmly replied, “Because you and I need to have a discussion about who you associate yourself with.”  _

_ Her eyes widened in terror. So I tried again, quieter and with more assurance, “Look, you're not in serious trouble. I won't even be calling your parents - I just need to address this directly. Take a breather, go to the library. Come back in an hour, okay?” _

*** 

“...You really won’t be calling my parents?” When he nodded, I relaxed somewhat. That was a huge worry off my chest, at least. 

I still wasn’t happy that I had detention when I had, for all intents and purposes, been dragged into this whole mess, but I suppose I couldn’t fault Mr. Bálor. If anything, he was being pretty nice and fair about it all, considering he’d just had four girls wholly disrespect and harass him with pickup lines. 

“Ok… I’ll see you in an hour, Sir. I’m sorry...” I nodded before leaving quietly. 

*** 

_ “Not your fault, Teagan,” I spoke after her as she walked away.  _

_ Right then. Time to deal with the shrews.  _

_ I storm back through the door. They were still in their seats (by some miracle) and they were none too pleased about it.  _

_ Ha! As if I gave a fuck. They were in my domain now. _

_ “Right. You know the rules and what I expect. Your time begins now.” _

_ One of them was sure not to take it lying down. Turns out it was Dawn, the homework probably too much of an effort for her simple brain.  _

_ “This is such bullshit…” She muttered under her breath to the others. _

_ And, once she took the lead, the others followed suit. Just as I knew they would. _

_ “Yeah, how come Tay-gun gets her detention an hour later? Why not all together with us?” Samantha demanded. _

_ “Because she’s teacher’s little pet, that’s why. How much sucking up has she been doing, Sir? I bet it’s a lot.” Laura commented snidely. _

_ “You know, all we have to do is tell the principal you’re having an affair with a student and things could get really ugly.” Jessica then said brazenly. “It’s four of us against you. Five once we get Teagan to do what we say. Not looking good for you, Sir.” _

_ “Oh, I think it'll look great when it comes out how you've been running drugs and - gasp! - trains with the boys at the military prep down the road after hours, Jessica,” I casually revealed. Her face was pale as a sheet. _

_ Laura let out a derisive laugh. So I turned to her next. “I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Laura. There's proof of your extracurricular activities too - don't think your parents or the police won't know about the fact you were responsible for last year's suicide. You bullied that poor girl until she couldn't cope with anything anymore...all because of a new pair of shoes. Really, Laura?” _

_ Samantha opened her mouth to speak. “Don't get me started with you, little enabler Samantha. You're the one who egged Laura on to do it. Both of you could be found guilty of murder for encouraging someone to kill themselves. You know that, right?” She clammed right back up. _

_ I was on a roll. “And Dawn…it should probably benefit your parents to know that the only reason you're even in the same grade right now is because you're sucking off the principal for passing grades. And you and I both know that he'll listen to me before he'll even let himself get embroiled in such a scandal. So I like my odds very much.  _ **_Because I can prove it all_ ** _. How about you?” _

_ The smile on my face was shamelessly devilish. _

_ Out of the four girls, it was Laura and Jessica who took the most offense. Dawn and Samantha kept their mouths shut, the former because she was probably still trying to process what I’d said, and the latter because she was probably trying to scheme her way out of trouble. _

_ “How do you know?” Came Laura’s choked reply. She looked at the other girls, who shared her incredulous expression. _

_ “Have you been spying on us?” Jessica demanded, evidently unsettled. _

_ “I know because I can see your souls. I can see your sins. You're not exactly in the position to call anyone anything for caring about a student's welfare. You're poison. You destroy everything you touch and damn the consequences. Teagan gets pulled into your mess because you're all too chicken shit to own up to anything you do.” I get up to lock the door and draw the privacy shade.  _

_ “But today...you're going to learn two lessons you've never bothered with: evil actions have evil consequences. And the other?” _

_ I contorted my fingers and watched the window blinds fall into place, untouched. The horrified looks they shared as they looked back at me were photo-worthy. “There's always someone far worse than you could ever imagine.” My grin was wide and monstrous, razor-sharp teeth and blood. _

_ Jessica was the first to act, jumping from her desk and running right towards the locked door. She pounded on it, screaming loudly, “Help! Someone help! Mr. Bálor is trying to kill us!” No one would hear her, and even if they did, no one would believe her as she had a reputation for being drugged up the majority of the time. Such a shame. _

_ “No one can hear you, you know.” My laugh rang out, sharp and cruel. “Just us, in this room. Although, you're right about one thing.” _

_ A tendril wrapped around her neck and dragged her away from the door, gripping her as tightly as a noose. I held her up before the others as a twisted show-and-tell. “None of you are getting out of detention alive.” The last sound to come out of Jessica was the crack of her spine as the tendril crushed and wrenched her neck until she hung lifeless.  _

_ And then, just for fun, I ignited the corpse and hurled it at the remaining three where it dissipated in a flurry of ashes. _

_  Samantha was next. While Laura and Dawn scurried into each other’s arms and backed away, Samantha fell apart. For all her scheming and underhanded tactics - never directly involved, but  _ **_always_ ** _ encouraging it - when actually faced with the hellish consequences of her sins, she couldn’t own up to it. _

_ “Please don’t kill me, I don’t want to die!” She wailed pathetically, falling to her knees and grabbing my trousers. “You can’t do this, Sir, you’re our teacher! An-and besides, I didn’t know that girl was going to kill herself! It was all Laura! Please don’t kill meee!” _

_ Just so I didn't have to hear her incessant self-preservation any longer, I let her burn from the inside out. Her screams turned to gurgling and gagging, then the crackling of flame as it split her body wide open, and consumed the remains.  _

_ A scream rang out and a chair came crashing down on me from behind, courtesy of Laura. Not that this did even the slightest bit of damage to my body. _

_ “You monster!  _ **_What are you!?_ ** _ ” She shrieked, throwing any object she can get her hands on.  _

_ I find myself reminded then why I chose Alexa Bliss to deal with Laura. Unlike other humans, she just didn’t know when to shut her mouth and/or back down. The perfect example of one digging their own grave.  _

_ And I was going to let her do it...but then she attempted to attack me. It was just laughable enough that I thought she deserved to know what it was like to be tossed about. _

_ I picked her up by the waist, tendrils squeezing her tightly. “Your negation,” I growled, hurtling her out of the window as she burned to a cinder in the sunlight. No one would notice any of it. _

_ My attention was now focused on the last soul in the room: Dawn. _

_ Dawn stood in the corner of the classroom, cowering with fear. After watching her friends attempt to flee, beg, and fight to escape their fates and fail abysmally, she knew she was irrevocably fucked. _

_ I took slow steps towards her, savouring her fear. _

_ “It-It was just a joke. A joke!” The girl cried. “You’re seriously going to kill us because we took the piss a little? What the fuck!?” _

_ It indeed must have seemed like overkill, but then, Dawn wasn’t aware of three things: _

_ 1) The actions her real life counterpart reaped in life. _

_ 2) She wasn’t even real. She was a figment conjured up by Teagan’s subconscious. _

_ 3) Even if that wasn’t a case, I didn’t give a fuck. _

_ “Do-Don’t kill me. Please don’t!” She pleaded much like Samantha had done. _

_ However, she chose to go down a different route. “You like Teagan, don’t you? That’s what this is all about, right? We-well, you can’t kill me! Think of what it would do to her if I went  missing? I’m her only friend, Mr. Bálor! Her  _ **_best_ ** _ friend!” _

_ As I kept approaching her, her fear soon turned to anger. Her begging turned to ranting. “You have NO right to judge me! You’re just as bad, you fucking hypocrite! You might give a shit about Teagan now, but you didn’t at first, did you? I know men like you, Sir! You would have used her and abused her and broken her heart, just because you fucking can!” _

_ “I saved her life!” Dawn screamed then, having lost all composure. “Teagan wouldn’t even be standing here today if not for me! She would have died! Don’t believe me, then ask her yourself! She’s alive today because of ME. Doesn’t that count for something? Well?!” _

_ I stopped, giving a bit of consideration to her words. Then: “You do know I can see your soul, right? That I can see everything you've done?” I wrapped a hand around her neck and slammed her body against the back wall. _

_ “You didn't do it for her, Dawn. You did it because you're so fucked up that you needed someone to put down so you could feel better about yourself. If you gave a damn about her, you would have been kinder, more considerate, encouraging. But you and your friends were hell-bent on breaking her spirit. She doesn't need friends like you. You needed her more than she'll ever need you.” _

_ “And Dawn,” I growled as my eyes burned red. “There  _ **_are_ ** _ no men like me.” _

_ I moved my grip to cover the top of her head and put unrelenting pressure on her skull. She screamed and tried to run but was held firm. The satisfying crack of bone rose to my ears as blood fell from her eyes alongside tracks of her tears.  _

_ She fell limp, her body disintegrating to embers once taken by fire. _

_ I surveyed my work and thoroughly pleased with myself, I swept the ashes out of the broken window and check my watch: 45 minutes until Teagan returns. Plenty of time to clean up. _

_ When she returns, all will be normal. _


	22. Unconventional Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams can be teachable moments, in more ways than one.

The hour spent in the library for my detention was the shortest hour of my life. It just seemed to pass like nothing. One minute, I sat down to mull over how I’d gotten into this situation. The next, time was up and I was walking out and up the stairs to Mr. Bálor’s classroom. 

I was worried. Dawn and the others would not be happy about receiving detention. They’d probably blame me in some way, especially considering I was been treated more leniently than them. 

Coming to a stop outside the classroom, I hesitated, then knocked. 

*** 

_ Feeling considerably sated after the cleansing, I rose to open the door. “Teagan, come have a seat,” I said pleasantly, motioning to a spot in front of me. She took it as I leaned against my desk.  _

_ “First off, I'm sorry about all of this. I know you didn't have anything to do with their nonsense.”  _

_ *** _

“I told them to leave me out of it, but they didn’t listen.” I explained. “I only stayed because I was scared of what they’d say if I wasn’t there.” 

I grimaced, remembering Jessica’s pick up line for me. It had been just cringeworthy, so much so that I felt like I’d shot myself in the foot by opting to stay. At least if I’d left, I wouldn’t be in detention right now. 

Speaking of detention…

“Since I wasn’t a part of what Dawn and the others did, can I go?” I asked.

***

_ “I was hoping I'd get to talk with you, actually,” I replied. “No worries, I'm merely curious about a few things. You're one of my best students, so it concerns me that you're surrounded by people who aren't even on your level.” _

***

I blinked up at Mr. Bálor, a little confused. “What do you mean? Wait, are you saying I’m  _ better _ than them? That’s not true!” 

I was incredulous that he would think such a thing. He couldn’t have been more wrong if he tried. Dawn and her friends might not be what you’d call popular, but, on the totem pole that was our year group, they were a hell of a lot higher than me. I was right at the bottom, too insignificant to be taken notice of. I was the student you heard a peep from only during the register call in the morning and that was it.

“You shouldn’t say things like that, Sir. You’re a teacher, it’s not right.” I admonished. “And what do you mean by ‘level’? Are you talking about personality? Look, I know they can be really immature and sometimes even nasty, but there’s good things about them, too. They’re not all bad, no one is.” 

***

_ “I was referring to an academic level, but your response is rather telling...and it further supports my belief. You would defend someone even if they treated you badly and actively tried to get you in trouble,” I reasoned in subdued astonishment.  _

_ Some might say she was insane. Others, that she's right. While there was some validity to her words, it still stood that they were toxic and no real friends would treat any person like they treated her. She deserved better than that. _

_ “I'm not saying you're wrong for it. Merely that...you deserve better than people who would drag you down with them, and intimidate you like that. That isn't right. There are many that would love to show you the kindness you're so worthy of. And I bet you'll find them here in school.” _

*** 

I looked down. I felt a tad bit tricked, as if Mr. Bálor had worded it the way he did knowing I’d interpret it differently. 

“It’s nice that you think that, Sir...but, you’re wrong. If I didn’t have Dawn and her friends, I’d be all on my own.  _ Nobody _ wants to be associated with someone whose life is, well, a trainwreck. I don’t blame them, and really, if you can’t like yourself, why expect others to like you instead? Someone said that to me once, and it really stuck with me because it’s so true, you know?”

I hesitated, then admitted, “When you’re at the bottom and have nothing, you take what you can get. You put up with the bad, because the good that comes with it makes it worth it. Because you know you’re lucky to have even that much. ...You wouldn’t understand, Sir.”

***

_ “I think you'd be surprised at how much I understand, Teagan.” _

_  I took a seat next to her. “I had this friend ages ago, and...he was kind of a dick. He was a school bully, a real bruiser-type. Pete was his name. He started picking on me 'cause I was kind of a quiet kid growing up, never bothered anyone. And I didn't have any friends then. So every time this kid rolled around and made fun of how quiet and short I was, I just kinda took it at first. Because hey, someone was talking to me and he didn't hurt me. I mean, he'd occasionally toss me into a trash can when he was mad, but no actual physical damage, you follow? _

_ “Anyway, what happened was that my mum pointed it out to me when she realized I wasn't doing the things I enjoyed so much. I thought I wasn't good enough for those things anymore, and told her as much. She told me something that I never forgot. She said that I liked myself more when I didn't need someone else's validation. Friends encourage each other and reinforce your belief in yourself. But when they stop doing that or never did to begin with, it poisons everything you believe in and love. Spent the whole night thinking about it, realized my mum was right. Went to school the next day, had a talk with Pete, said I couldn't be around him anymore. He was not pleased, started pushing me around. So... I did what any other sensible kid would do in that situation: kicked him in the balls and ran like hell.” _

*** 

“ _ You _ used to be an introvert with no friends?” I found that very hard to believe. Not Mr. Bálor, surely. He looked like the kind of person who made friends easily, who never had to face problems such as this.

I considered his words, then shook my head. “...No, it’s not the same. Even if you didn’t have friends, you still had someone. Your parents loved you and saw the best in you. I didn’t have that. My mother saw nothing good in me and she made that abundantly clear to me. And I might as well not have existed to my father.” 

I remembered the words my mother had screamed at me one night when I’d managed to really anger her. I don’t remember why she was so mad at me (she never needed much of a reason) but I’d never forgotten the things she said:

“ _ I hate you! I wish you’d never being born! I wish you’d just go away and never come back! _ ”

“...I have  _ never _ liked myself.”

***

_ “There’s people who like you. I like you, Teagan. A great deal. Even though you don't like yourself. I'm sorry no one told you that early on,” I said after a long beat, giving her words consideration. It was sad that she'd been so beaten down by people who were so unworthy.  _

_ “Like I said, you're one of my favorite students. You're smart, selfless, you always give your best effort. You're a lovely young woman, and I enjoy having you in my class.” _

***

A few tear drops rolled down my face. I wish I had better control of my emotions, that I wasn’t so quick to tears all the time.

“You’re just saying that because you’re my teacher.”

***

_ “Not at all. I didn't become a teacher to flatter students. I'm here to help them be better people than the bastards outside these walls. So when I tell you that you're a good girl, I don't say that idly. It's because, believe it or not, you are.” _

*** 

I nodded, shakily wiping my eyes. “O-Okay, Sir.” My heart wasn’t entirely convinced - a few kind words weren’t going to take away a lifetime of self-loathing - but I’d try to take on board what he’d said regardless. 

It was weird; I was getting a serious case of déjà vu right now, as if I’d had a conversation like this before with Mr. Bálor before... 

Just as quickly as I had the thought, it was gone. “So, now that we’ve talked, can I go?” 

***

_ “Of course! You're entirely free to go as you please.”  _

_ The relief in her face was evident as I return to lean against my desk. Crossing my arms in front, I motioned to the door.  _

_ Now I would have let the dream end here, because this was what she needed to hear most. However, having read her mind and seeing the fantasy she had of this scenario countless times before?  _

_ Well, who was I to turn down a bit of power play? _

_ “But then… there's a small matter we need to resolve first: that of your punishment.” _

*** 

I was just halfway across the room, very close to leaving, when I heard those words and froze.

I turned back to face Mr. Bálor. “My punishment? What punishment?”

If I recalled correctly, he just wanted to talk with me, confirm that what happened with Dawn and the others wasn’t my fault.

“I thought I wasn’t in trouble…” 

*** 

_ “You’re not, not really. That's still true,” I assured. With a casual shrug, I added, “Tell me something, Teagan...how long have you harbored your crush on me?” _

*** 

“Then why are you punishing me?” Or at least that’s what I was about to say before he asked me about my crush on him. 

Then a comical look of confusion passed my face. _ Why’s he asking me that??  _

“Do-Does it matter? Sir, if I’m not in trouble, I should be allowed to go!” 

*** 

_ “It matters for good reason,” I explained. “You're not very good at hiding it, but you aren't doing what some of the other girls are doing. They flash their goods and try to flirt with me.”  _

_ My voice softened, becoming smoother. “But not you. You blush when I so much as look in your general direction. Makes me wonder what you think about, what you daydream about. It's awfully distracting...very difficult to do my work when all I really want is to know what's going through that beautiful mind of yours.”  _

_ She looked so very stunned, and I added, “You needn't worry about judgement or trouble. I won't tell a soul about anything we discuss. You can trust that.”  _

_ Funny how even her most adventurous dreams still require winning her trust. I can appreciate that though. _

***

“We-Well, yeah, because it’s not appropriate. Yo-You’re my  _ teacher _ , Mr. Bálor!” I spluttered, unable to believe this conversation was taking place. Sure, I’d fantasized about this kind of scenario, but I never dreamed it would actually happen! 

“Yo-You’re punishing me because I distract you? That’s not fair, Sir! I can’t help that!”

I didn’t run for the door like anyone else would have done in my situation. I just kept backing away until my back legs collided with the desk behind me. I sat down on it, fingers clutching the edge of the desk for support. 

_ Next thing he’ll be doing is locking the door… _ I scoffed inside my head. 

*** 

_ “I know you can't help it, Teagan... so I'm going to help you.” I went to turn the lock on the door, then returned to my spot. “And I'm very certain you'll be thanking me for it.”  _

_ I licked my lips, making full eye contact. _

*** 

I blanched when he went and locked the door.  _ Did… Did he just read my mind?? No...that’s impossible, but the second I thought it, he did it… _

For the longest time we just stared at each other. 

Eventually, I spoke. “I don’t think so. I mean, you want to punish me for no reason at all. That’s not very fair, Sir. And how do you even plan to punish me? Make me write lines? Stand in a corner?” 

***

_ “I prefer a more direct approach.” I stand straight and pick up the ruler on my book of lesson plans. _

_ Tapping the ruler on the edge twice, I look at Teagan expectantly. “Bend over at the waist, hands on the edge of my desk. I think you know where this is going.” _

*** 

My eyes never left Mr. Bálor’s. “Nothing I say is going to stop this from happening, is it? You’re punishing me just for the hell of it, and I’m just going to have to take it..right?” 

*** 

_ “You're not just going to have to take it. You're going to  _ **_like_ ** _ it.” _

***

_ Well, at least I was right about one thing, I suppose… _ I thought, when he didn’t deny he was punishing me because he felt like it.

I looked down, weighed up my options on what to do, then looked back at Mr. Bálor. 

“...Ca...Can I lie on your lap instead?” I quickly looked down again, feeling like I was about to die of embarrassment. 

I knew what he planned to do and I figured, if it was definitely happening, it might as well go down how I’d fantasized it. 

Bending over a desk was all well and good, but over the lap? Never got old. It had a more personal touch to it, plus was there anything more domineering than a man discipling you by holding you down over his lap, as if you were nothing but a naughty child? Throw in a lecture on why it was happening (to teach me a lesson or for his benefit, I didn’t care), and it’d be perfect.

I shouldn’t be as turned on at the thought as I was currently. But I was.

*** 

_ Across my lap? Even better. Of course, that means no ruler...not that she would mind if I was a bit more hands-on. _

_ I sit at my desk and move the armless chair back against the chalkboard, so there's plenty of room for movement. _

_ I motioned to her with a come-hither gesture. “Come now, Teagan. Time for your punishment.” _

***

A shudder escaped me. The trepidation welling inside me was just too much, but in a good way. I  _ wanted _ this. I wanted to be dominated, to be spanked until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted the cathartic release that came once it was over, knowing that he cared enough to punish me for what I did and all was well now (or, in this case, knowing that I’d pleased him, served him in a way he desired or needed). 

And, more than anything, I wanted the power exchange, to relinquish my control completely to one who I felt deserved it, who could handle it, who I could trust completely.

Without having to ask, I knew Mr. Bálor was the one. He  _ got  _ me. 

Slowly, I stood up from the desk and shakily made my way to where he sat, my legs feeling like they’d turned to jelly.

I came to a stop before him, eyes trained on the ground, partly out of subservience, but also mainly because, despite wanting this, I was still very embarrassed. I was practically shaking from head to toe! 

***

_ She trembled all over, desire colliding with her nerves. It was a hell of a turn on.  _

_ “Teagan, look at me.” Reluctantly, she did.  _

_ “You've got nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just us. Lie across my lap.” _

*** 

Still fighting the urge to run and hide away and never show my face to the light of day again, I bent down and very slowly lay myself against Mr. Bálor’s black dress pants. 

I tried to get as comfortable as I could considering the awkward position I now found myself in, and bit my lip to hold back a whimper. Whether it was one of distress because the anticipation and dread that was coming from being so exposed and vulnerable was overwhelming, or it was due to the fact that the tingling sensation between my legs was driving me insane, I did not know. 

“Do-Don’t hold back. And don’t stop until you think I’ve had enough.” I said in a small voice. 

I thought it over, then added, “But...considering I haven’t done anything to warrant this and you’re doing it just because...I guess I should say, don’t stop until you’ve finished using me? Until I’ve helped satisfy you?” 

I buried my face against his knee, unable to believe I’d really said that. 

This blush was  _ never _ leaving my face. 

*** 

_ As if I wasn't already aroused. Damn. _

_ Lifting the hem of her pleated skirt, my fingers graze the bare skin of her thigh, sliding up slowly. _

_ White lacy panties teased at her backside, revealing just enough to be tantalizing. It was going to look outstanding in bright red when I was through. _

_ I drew circles on her skin with a single fingertip as she shook in my lap. “When my palm lands, you will count each one aloud.”  _

_ I rested my palm, massaging and caressing the area. “Begin.”  _

_ In a quick motion, my hand swept upward and came down with a hard smack. _

***

“ _ One! _ ” I cried, my body jolting as his palm landed on my bottom.

Any lingering doubts that he might hold back was wiped from my brain instantly. Mr. Bálor made sure I felt that one. 

*** 

_ “Good.” I rubbed the flushed spot where my hand landed, fingernails lightly scratching the surface. “Again.”  _

_ My hand came down as hard as before. _

*** 

“ _ T-Two! _ ” 

How long would I able to last until I couldn’t take anymore, I wondered? As this was my first spanking, I really couldn’t say. If Mr. Bálor kept spanking me with the same force throughout, it might not be that long. The man really was taking no prisoners. 

The area where he’d smacked me smarting, I wiggled on his lap, fighting the urge to try and stop him or to jump off. It was a weird disconnect of sensations. My body wanted out, but, if the tingling in my nether regions was anything to go by, it also very much wanted to stay. 

*** 

_ I felt her wiggle and readjust, and wondered if my strikes are too hard. The way she readjusted, however, also made me curious if she could feel how much I was enjoying this.  _

_ I reached for the other cheek, preparing it to receive the next slap. “Such a good girl, Teagan.”  _

_ I raised my hand. “Again.”  _

_ When my hand came down, it was only a bit less stinging than the others. _

*** 

“ _ Three! _ ” 

At this point, the sting had started to become hot and prickly. The pain lingered and then spread from my bottom to the rest of my body. My discomfort levels were rising, and, for a second, I made to shield myself. 

“Sir, it hurts!” 

***

_ Her backside was indeed a nice shade of rosy red, but she was hurting. Fortunately, I had just the help for that. _

_ I took the small bottle of cooling skin cream sitting at the base of the chalkboard. Squeezing a small amount onto my fingers, I smoothed it on where my last slap landed, gently working it into the blushing skin and blowing cool air to ease the sting. Then I moved to the other and did likewise, massaging down to her thigh and -  _

_ She shuddered when I brushed sensitive skin near her core. Not even touching it, just a passing graze nearby. The warmth of her arousal radiating was noticeable. This was dangerous territory. _

*** 

The deep, pulsating sensation between my legs was just as hard to endure as the spanking itself. I was faced with a terrible dilemma. Stop the pain now, but with it the pleasure and the catharsis I needed? Or keep on going and reach my breaking point, knowing the payoff would be worth it? Should I go with what I wanted or what I needed?

I made my decision pretty quickly. “Please, don’t stop.” I begged, glancing with watery eyes at Mr. Bálor. “Don’t think about me, you’re the one in charge. Whatever you decide goes.” 

Eager to get across how important this was, I gasped out quickly, “Harder, Sir. Lecture me. Make me cry. Tell me I deserve this. That no matter how much I beg and struggle, the only one who decides when it’s over is you. Because I belong to you and no one else.  _ Please. _ ”

Trembling, I clutched his hand that was holding me against him. 

***

_ If I had been a full-blooded human, that plea from Teagan's lips would have undone me. The grasp of her hand on mine would have been the death of me.  _

_ I would have been consumed by such need that she would have been bent over my desk and getting fucked until we were both exhausted.  _

_...Guess it's a good thing I'm not quite human.  _

_ (Don't get me wrong, it would still happen. But much later, thanks to self restraint. Dream or not, I didn’t want her first time to involve getting railed on a desk. Not my style and not what she deserved.) _

_ “Oh, dear girl...you say that as though I mean to stop. That was the warm-up.” I leaned in close to her ear as possible. “I'm only getting started,” I growl wickedly. _

_ My hand moves with intent now, groping and palming her bottom. “Count in your head, as I tell you why you deserve this.” _

**_Smack_ ** _! It landed full on skin, enough to leave a faint print of my hand on her left cheek. _

*** 

Closing my eyes, I braced myself. One half of me was regretting this so much, while the other was so reassured that he’d listened and was happy to oblige. 

My body jumped as his hand landed forcefully against my bare skin. It was all I could do not to cry out in pain or flail wildly against his grip.  _ Oh God!  _ **_Four!_ ** I thought in my head.  _ Fuck, that hurt! _

*** 

_ “Breathe, Teagan.” _

_ I rubbed where my blow landed. “You are so fucking distracting, you know that? You come to class every day, all quiet and demure…”  _

**_Smack_ ** _! She let out a shout and trembles, but held fast.  _

_ Rubbing the spot, I continued,“...and you behave and answer questions like you're such a good girl. Like you're so innocent.”  _

**_Smack_ ** _! She persisted through the pain. _

_ Repeat. “I wonder how long you've wanted this. How long you've sat in class, daydreaming of this very moment.” _

**_Smack_ ** _! _

_ Repeat. “If only you knew how badly I've wanted you, and for how long I've waited for the opportunity…”  _

**_Smack_ ** _! _

*** 

**_Five! Six! Seven! Eight!_ ** _ Oh God, oh God, I can’t take this!! _

The pain is intense - hot, burning, radiating all over my bottom. It never ceases, only growing worse the more Mr. Bálor brought his hand down on that area. 

“Pl-Please stop.” I said weakly.

***

_ “Shhhh... it's ok. It'll be over soon,” I spoke soothingly as I applied more cream to the sore places on her backside. “You're doing so well, Teagan. But keep in mind: I'm not done with you yet.” _

*** 

A loud groan escaped me. He was saying everything I wanted, but on the other hand... _ fuck _ , it hurt. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. I dreaded to think what kind of state my bottom was going to be come tomorrow! 

Burying my face against his thigh, I bit my lip to stop myself from outright begging. 

*** 

_ The hand that I used to pin her in place went up to stroke her hair. I wanted her to want this, but check-in for any scene - even in dreams - was necessary. _

_ “Where is your mind, Teagan? Tell me what you're thinking.” _

***

It took me a while to respond, having been too lost in the moment at first.

“I-I,” I wiped at my tear-soaked cheeks, though a lot of good that did. “I’m fine. Please, don’t stop now, just a little more.”

Fearing that Mr. Bálor might take my current state as a sign that I couldn’t take anymore (I could, I just didn’t  _ want _ to), I pleaded, “Don’t stop, Sir. You’re doing such a good job punishing me. You’re so good to me. I’m so glad I’m yours.” 

*** 

_ I let out a growl in pleasure as she said the magic words. Fuck, this was too good.  _

_ My hand tightened in her hair, just enough to tug back a bit. “Such a good girl...and all  _ **_mine_ ** _.”  _

**_Smack_ ** _!  _

_ “You're so close, aren't you?  _ **_Tell me_ ** _.” _

*** 

“ _ Nine! _ ” I yelled out at the pain that ignited upon Mr. Bálor’s hand landing on my poor, reddened ass. “I am. I’m so close. Just one more, Sir. Please.” 

*** 

_ This was it. Or rather, it would be. Just not in the way she hopes.  _

_ I grasped and massaged at her cherry skin, tender and sweet. I pulled her hair, tugging her back until she isn't hiding her face in my thigh. _

_ I raised my hand, ready to bring it down. This would awaken her, little did she know.  _

_ Oh, but she was  _ **_so_ ** _ close… _

_ But that was for another time soon.  _

_ “Time to wake up now, Teagan.” _

_ My hand came down. _

***

I jolted awake from my slumber, sitting up with such force that I almost fell right off the couch.

It took me a few seconds to come back to reality. Looking around my room, I slowly remembered.  _...Third date with Finn. Fell asleep. Had a dream about attending a boarding school. Finn was my English teacher. Got detention and he… Oh for fuck’s sake! _

I almost punched one of the cushions. Or chucked it against the wall.  _ Another _ almost-sex dream? Did my brain hate me or something? If I couldn’t get any in life, I wouldn’t be getting it in my dreams either? It would keep taking me to the brink and then cut it off there? Have mercy on me! 

I groaned. I’d been so close, so very close. Another slap and I would have had that huge release I craved. I would have bawled my heart out and all those worries, and stresses I carried inside me would have gone with my tears. 

That’s what should have happened, but before I could get to that, before sex could even come into the equation after, I had to go and goddamn wake up.

I was one unhappy, very sexually frustrated camper right now.

Looking back at where I’d been sleeping, my expression softened when I realised that Finn had opted to fall asleep sitting up on the couch rather than move my head from his lap. The sweet gesture made me forget all about the fact that he kept showing up in my dreams, tempting me, and then waking me up right before it got good. 

Leaning forward, I kissed him quickly on the lips - I didn’t want to wake him - before resuming my previous position. 

*** 

_ I waited a half-hour before carefully moving from my place as her pillow. It took everything not to laugh at her frustration. It was so much fun teasing her that way, and what a breakthrough. Emotionally speaking, it was highly important to her healing to plant those seeds of self-acceptance.  _

_ Sexually speaking, it was also important for her to start feeling comfortable with her needs and desires. Plus, it was intriguing as hell. I wondered how long it would take for her to finally break. _

_ Right now, she was serene and peaceful (though probably frustrated as hell). I scooped her up and carried her to bed, took a light blanket and draped it over us. I laid down on my side as she slept on her back, calm and restful. _

_ After a while, I shut down. For real this time. But not before I left a kiss on her lips.  _

_ Sweet dreams, lovely. _

  
  



	23. Labels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the idea of labels are discussed and decisions are made.

The dream I had after awakening and returning to sleep was nowhere near as detailed and vivid as the first dream. Really, it was just random sequences and random people and dream characters rolled into one mental mess. I couldn’t even begin to describe what happened, even if I tried. 

On the plus side, the sexual frustration was all gone. Thank God for that.

I looked around at my room. Finn must have woken up at some point and carried me up to my bed (how strong was he!?)

Ever seen the movie  _ Bridesmaids _ ? You know the opening scene where the main character, Annie, quietly and discreetly pretties herself up before her ‘friends with benefits’ wakes up? Yeah, that’s what I did. 

...Well, I got rid of the bed hair and brushed my teeth. Nothing too drastic. 

Not wanting to wake Finn, I quietly made my way downstairs to read the newspapers. 

*** 

_ She's awake. Likely downstairs milling around.  _

_ I stayed in bed for a moment. How long had it been since the last dream I had? It was a curious thought since demons don't require sleep. But dreams were something a little different for a demon than others.  _

_ We don't necessarily dream. We have what ‘New-Age’ (read: self-proclaimed ‘spiritually enlightened’) humans refer to as out-of-body experiences. _

_ This time, I went drifting on the wind until I found a familiar doorstep in a quiet town. It was a beautiful day there - the leaves were bright fiery shades of gold, ruby, and orange. Bray was always a gorgeous place during the fall. Teagan would love it here.  _

_ If I knew my family, they were out and about, so the house was empty. But just being there brought so many warm memories...and harsh reminders.  _

_ When I came to, it's because I knew Teagan had left the room.  _

_ I decided to head down and join her, see what she likes to do with her Saturdays. _

***

 

I looked up from the front page of the newspaper I was reading when I heard Finn coming down the stairs. “Morning! Did you sleep well?” 

Quickly, I reached over and flipped on the kettle to make us some coffee, or tea. 

*** 

_ “Very well, thanks! How about you?” I kissed her temple as I found a seat next to her. _

*** 

“Pretty good. Had some crazy dreams, but that’s par for the course with me.” I said, leaving out that said dream involved him as my teacher and punishing me. That wasn’t suitable conversation for morning. (That wasn’t suitable conversation  _ at all! _ ) 

My eyes drifted back to the newspaper and I frowned. “‘The Viper’ strikes again. Looks like he really has chosen Chicago as his latest hunting ground. Reckon they’ll ever catch him?” 

***

_ Ah yes, Randy Orton.  _

_ The one angel more qualified to be a demon than any other, perhaps overly so.  _

_ The day he flipped his lid happened shortly after God left. For the entirety of the time after the Wars and the Falls, he'd been barely holding it together and following orders like a good soldier. According to Becky's account, they all knew he would eventually snap if unchecked.  _

_ They did everything they could, and they were succeeding. Until the Father left.  _

_ Long story short, he fell to earth and, rather than choose Hell, he went rogue. Humans became the focus of his frustration, his targets. He'd done it for so long that a maximum security prison was practically a vacation.  _

_ No surprise that he's back now.  _

_ “I've heard he's pretty crafty,” I replied. “Took them years to catch him the first time. They might have a better shot this time if he has a familiar pattern.” _

*** 

“He does. He kills as many people as he can in a month, goes into hiding, then starts all over again four to five months later.” I explained. “Really though, if the FBI was smart, they’ll look where he’s likely to strike next and work from there. I remember reading somewhere once that Orton said that he wants to attack every state in America before he moves onto the rest of the world. So, going by that…” 

I pulled out a random list of the 50 states and, scrolling through it, rested my finger on Iowa. 

“I reckon that’ll be his next target. He hasn’t struck there yet. Plus, he always goes to the nearest state and Iowa is slap down in the middle of Missouri and Illinois.” 

I closed the page on my phone. “Scary thing is, if he isn’t caught at some point, he’s bound to come here eventually. It’s not even a maybe, it's a process of elimination. He said every state and every town in that state. It’s only a matter of time...” 

I then paused, remembering Bray Wyatt’s words. “...Or maybe not.” 

*** 

_ “I wouldn't worry too much,” I assured. “There's always a chance he'll be caught. Technology has improved considerably, so who knows?”  _

_ I knew that wasn't quite the case, that the only thing keeping him away was a devil I knew quite well. But setting her mind at ease was a default at this point. _

*** 

I nodded in agreement. “Probably. He can’t go on forever. He’ll have to stop eventually or he’ll be caught.” 

I scoffed. “You know, speaking of Randy Orton, I ran into this guy last week who knew him. Thought it was all made up, but nope, he totally did. According to him, ‘The Viper’ will never come here because the two of them have bad blood. I really wish I could have found out more, but I’m pretty sure he’s a cult leader, so no thanks. Still, I guess it’s good to know our quiet little town is safe, huh?” 

Handing the paper over to Finn for read - I’d skimmed it all and the news stories ranged from misery to mundane - I stood up. “So, breakfast? What are you in the mood for?” 

*** 

_ “Hmm...how about your awesome scromlettes?” I took the paper and seethed inside, though you'd never know by my smile.  _

_ It was no surprise that Bray was seeking to pursue Teagan for himself. He approached all of his prey the same way. _

_ He won't have Teagan though. Never on my watch.  _

_ At least Teagan knew not to get pulled into his diatribes. “I do recall reports that Randy had been associated with a cult leader before her was apprehended. Be careful out there, alright? If he's associated with a serial killer like Randy, he's definitely bad news.” _

*** 

“My scromlettes? Sure! Fair warning, though, I made them entirely by accident last time. I’m not sure I can recreate that greatness again, but I’ll try.” 

I was about to go into the kitchen and get started on breakfast, but paused, staring at Finn. He hid it well, but I could just tell by the subtlest shift in his body language (less relaxed than before) that he was worried. 

A soft smile came over my face. He really did care about me. 

Coming from behind, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. He tried to talk me into his cult and I ran like the wind. I won’t be drinking the kool aid anytime soon, I promise.” 

*** 

_ I placed my hand upon Teagan's arm to hold her in place and leaned into her as she kissed my cheek. “I know, lovely.” Then I added in (mock) seriousness, “For the record though, it's probably not Kool Aid.”   _

_ She looked at me in horror, and I can't hide my amusement. I kissed her lips while she's off guard, and she slaps my shoulder playfully.  _

_ Though I really wasn’t kidding about the Kool-Aid. Don’t ask. _

*** 

I get started on breakfast right after. I wasn’t sure if the resulting concoction was anything close to the scromlettes I made the last time Finn stayed overnight, but, hey, he seemed to like them and that was the most important thing to me. 

“So,” I said, passing him the ketchup. “Got anything planned for today?” 

*** 

_ “Not a thing, honestly. Always nice to have a little time off, a little freedom in the day. I could always just spend it just annoying the hell out of you. How about you? Any plans?” _

***

“Nope. Mrs. Glover told me to take the weekend off, so I’m free, too.”

I put my fork down and then leaned forward, a big grin on my face. “Finn...are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

*** 

_ I exaggerated thinking deeply for a moment, then quipped, “Well I usually keep my naked Saturdays at home, but I can make an exception for you.” I smiled huge in jest. _

*** 

“Er...erm…” My brain for a brief second went caput at the thought of naked Finn. Only for a second, but it was enough for him to notice and make fun of me over it. Damn him and his teasing! 

“Actually, I was going to say we build Benny's spaceship, hehe.” I suggested, blushing furiously because now all I could picture was Finn undressing.

*** __

_ “I like that idea a bit better,” I teased. “We'll make it a project day - build Benny's spaceship, have some music, grab lunch. Hang out and enjoy the day.” _

*** 

“Sounds like a plan!” I smiled, very pleased. Despite not having a job, I couldn’t recall a day where I didn’t have anything to do. Today was going to be the first ‘lazy weekend’ I’d ever had. “Will you be staying over for dinner again? If yes, anything you’re in the mood for?” 

*** __

_ “I think, since you were so wonderful about cooking last night. I'd like to cook one of my favorites for you. That is, if you like pasta.” _

*** 

I perked up. “I love pasta! What have you got planned?” 

*** 

_ I grinned. “Well, there's not enough time to do my Bolognese sauce. That's an all-day project in itself. But, I can whip up a pretty good, quick and dirty lasagna soup, salad, and garlic bread. How about that?” _

*** 

I almost choked laughing at his description of his lasagna soup. Dinner sounded like it was going to be a blast tonight. “Sounds good! Will you be needing a Sous Chef to assist you in the kitchen tonight?” 

*** 

_ “I could certainly use the help of a studious and lovely sous chef,” replied with a wink. “It won't take much to do - most of it is dropped into the pot and left to cook, hence the quick and dirty’ part. In normal circumstances it's not so quick, and I can take my time. All day, if I want. One day, I might show you.” _

*** 

“Slow cookers. Life savers.” I nodded my head sagely. Anyone who said they weren’t or acted as if didn’t count as proper cooking was not a friend of mine. “And I’d like that.”

I finished eating my ‘maybe-scromlette eggs-I honestly don’t know’ breakfast, pondering over something in my mind. When I couldn’t find a suitable answer to it, I decided I might as well get Finn’s opinion on the matter. 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of confused about our relationship.” I confessed. “We’re friends, but friends are kind of platonic and we’re not. We’re dating, but...it kind of doesn’t feel like we’re just dating anymore… I guess what I’m saying is, if anyone, like the guys in my therapy group, ask who you are to me, what should I tell them?”

*** 

_ “Well…” I considered while finishing off my eggs. “It  _ **_is_ ** _ kind of a funny thing, isn't it? Everything happened so fast and we've been through a lot in a short amount of time.” _

_ I looked at her right in the eyes and took her hand in mine. “For my part, I'm honored that you let me in to begin with. I will be whatever you want me to be. Friend, date, boyfriend... highly invested escort,” I joked. “Point is, I want you regardless of what labels are involved. I like being with you, Teagan. I like you a lot.” _

*** 

I rested the hand that Finn wasn’t holding on top of his. “I like you a lot, too. You make me happy. More than I can say.” 

Pausing, I continued. “If...If you go by what people say, our relationship is doomed to fail. They say that you shouldn’t commit to a relationship with someone until after six dates, or a month of dating. We’ve only had three dates and known each other for, well, two weeks. People would say we’re rushing things, that whatever this is between us will burn out quickly. ...But, it doesn’t feel that way to me. It feels  _ right _ .” 

I squeezed his hand. “I don’t want to say you’re my friend, because you’re not my friend, you’re so much more than that to me. And, I don’t want to say you’re my boyfriend, because, well, the same. You’re not just a friend or a boyfriend. You’re Finn. You’re…” And then, remembering my dream from last night, I smiled, “You’re my sunshine.” 

“So… If anyone asks, I’m going to just say that you’re a very special man in my life who I’m seeing. I think that’s much better.” I didn’t want Finn lumped in the same category as Caleb. He was better than that on so many levels. 

***

_ I couldn't wipe the smile from my face if I tried. Or the heat rushing to my face.  _

_ (Yes. I was blushing again. I regret nothing.) _

_ Her sunshine.  _

_ It was probably the most genuine compliment I'd ever received. _

_ “And you're a very special woman in mine. In fact, I’d even say you're my Special. The greatest, most interesting, most extraordinary person in the universe. And...I've never been big on time frames for relationships. Everyone grows in their own time. What we have is right for us - fuck everyone else.”  _

_ That made her laugh.  _

_ “You have me, Teagan. For as long as you want me.” _

*** 

My smile widened until it couldn’t get any wider, until it stayed so long on my face that it ached my muscles. 

_ I can’t believe this is really happening! _

My heart was swooning. 

_ And he’s blushing. Teagan = 2. _

Had I ever felt this happy before? Until this moment, I’d have said it was when Finn told me he’d saved my house and we went to LEGOLAND together, but this single moment here absolutely trumped it. 

 

_ He said I’m his Special. _

“Ditto.” I smiled after a long minute of inner celebrating. “In fact, why don’t we refer to each other like that? Rather than girlfriend or boyfriend, or friends, or ‘just dating’, we’re each other’s ‘Special’. It sums us up pretty nice, I think. And, like you said, if anyone has a problem with that, then they can just go to hell. We’re happy and that’s what matters.” 

*** 

_ “I like your thinking. That settles it then. We are what we are, and that's what matters.” My free hand came to rest on her cheek.  _

_ The warmth that collected in my stomach was... Grounding. Natural. Human. _

_ In that moment, her soul became a bit brighter. And it sustained, a muted cinder evolving into a glowing ember. In time, it would be an angelic blossom of flame.  _

_ It was only a matter of time. But for now…  _

_ Teagan Dunn was mine.  _

_ My special. _

*** 

I rested my hand against his. 

It was crazy, the events that had taken place in such a short span of time. In just thirteen days, my world had been turned upside down. I’d lost my friends - though whether they ever were ones to begin with were debatable - but then I’d also met Finn and formed a strong bond with him, one that was changing me for the better. 

I couldn’t speak for the future, but, as far as the present went, things were looking pretty bright.  _ Thank God _ Finn stopped me from walking out on our first date like he did. I don’t know how things would have turned out if he hadn’t, but I certainly wouldn’t have experienced the joy, excitement, and ‘butterflies in my stomach’ I was feeling right now, that I definitely knew.

“My special.” I said, testing it on my lips. It was better than ‘My precious’, at least. I don’t think I would have been able to stop picturing Gollum and then laughing my arse off imagining Finn impersonating him if we had.

Liking it very much, I beamed. “ _ Perfect. _ ”


	24. Maybes and What-Ifs, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which stranger things *could* have happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters are speculation. What I mean is that these are scenarios that *could* have happened if Teagan had chosen differently. These have little to do with the main storyline...but they sure were fun to write! There's two of them, the second is the larger scenario and it gets pretty intense. So...warnings ahead for two instances of major character death, brief torture, sexual content with D/s undertones, and demonic shenanigans.

_ I never mention this in polite company, but I'm certain that Regal knows, at least. The demon that lives in me...is a bit of a bastard.  _

_ Bálor as an entity on its own is fury, greed, rage, violence, power, and blood. And a bit of a drama queen.  _

_ Up until the moment I took the mantle, there hadn't been a human that accepted the power while not only living, but with a largely pure soul. The power of the Demon King corrupts a soul almost absolutely…but not me. My humanity remained. It sets the barrier that keeps the demon under control. Not totally unaffected - I mean, I am an absolutely ruthless asshole when I wanna be - but I can still rule unbound by human foibles. _

_ Logic and ambition combined with unbridled power. I became a new breed of Demon King, and I led Hell from its own abyss.  _

_ Unfortunately, Bálor doesn't seem to enjoy being restrained. He gets greedy sometimes, hates being denied.  _

_ Take the case of Teagan, for instance. Our first date could have gone so differently. If Bálor had gotten his way, she wouldn't have survived past our first date.  _

_ She doesn't know - may  _ **_never_ ** _ know - how close she came to a tragic end... _

*** 

**What If? - The Tragic End of Teagan Dunn.**

_ He… He wants to go on another date?  _ **_Why!?_ ** _ I don't understand! Why does he like me? What is he seeing in me that I'm not!? _

“Seriously?” I asked in a weak voice. “You...you really want to go on another date with someone like me…?”  

*** 

_ It was stirring again. Just beneath the surface. _

_ “Teagan…let me explain something to you: I don’t mince words, and I certainly don’t just say things to make people feel better. Pretty sure I’m the biggest shit-starter at work.” _

**_Keep it together, Finn. You've held him off before._ ** __

_ I lightly touched two fingers to her chin and slowly turned her eyes back to mine. They were wet with light traces of tears. “So I hope you’ll believe me when I say that I am  _ **_definitely_ ** _ into Lego.” _

_ A surprised laugh escaped her. “And I don’t want a date with ‘someone like you.’ I want a second date with  _ **_you_ ** _ , Teagan Dunn. I want us to have dinner, build things at Legoland, and go for a walk. And I would feel extremely lucky if you said yes.” _

_ *** _

It took me a few seconds to respond as I was so overwhelmed. I’d never been in this kind of situation before and I was finding it something of an emotional rollercoaster. 

For a second, I very nearly smiled, won over by Finn’s declaration. 

But then I caught sight of that goddamn barista again and any hope I felt for a possible relationship with this man disappeared. The way her eyes trailed over me unfavourably and then to him...she couldn’t have made it any more obvious that she thought he was out of my league, that I didn’t deserve him. 

How many people were thinking the exact same thing? 

Now I was convinced. There was no feasible way someone like Finn Bálor was possibly interested in me. He was simply trying to make me feel better. Throw the dog a bone, then never call back, as I’d heard Jessica once say. 

I withdrew back. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I...I should never have asked you out on a date.” I put my share of the bill down and stood up. “You could do so much better than me. I’m so sorry.” 

And with that, I ran out of Starbucks before he could say anything to change my mind. 

*** 

**_Shit._ ** _ I breathed in, releasing a shuddering exhale.  _

**Mine.** __

_ The scent of her fear…irresistible.  _

**MINE.**

_ I - well, Bálor as he pushed to the forefront - grumbled low and hungrily.  _

_ “She left? Awww, I'm sorry. Hey, I go on break in ten. Maybe I can keep you company instead?” _

**_As I stood and threw a bill down to cover the rest, I growled an irritated “fuck off” to the disingenuous barista and stalked after my prey. Once I got to the nearest alley, I went invisible and returned to the hunt. Waiting a beat, I caught her scent again._ **

**_Run, little rabbit._ **

*** 

Walking so fast I was practically running, I put as much distance between myself and the coffee shop as I could. 

My head down so no one would see the tears pooling in my eyes and ready to spill over at any minute, I tried to find a suitable place to hide in, away from any passing bystanders. I wanted to be alone right now. 

I found my refuge in the town’s local courtyard, a secluded space away from civilization. Currently, it was deserted. Which was no surprise - not many people knew about the place. 

Collapsing onto the lone bench that sat in front of a fountain, I shakily took out my phone and dialled Dawn’s number. She answered after the second ring and I tried my best to hold it together.

“D-Dawn, it’s...it’s me… The date didn’t go so well. I...I... _ I ruined everything! _ ” 

Unable to keep it in any longer, I finally broke down, sobbing so hard that I was barely able to form coherent words. 

*** 

_ I closed in as she wept, just short of breathing down her neck. I was still struggling with Bálor, but…  _

**_She smelled so good. The frat boy I took just days ago was mere junk food compared to this._ **

**_I stuck out my tongue to taste the essence that radiated off her neck. Just a light graze._ **

**_She jumped out of her skin the moment it made contact. God, that terror makes it even better._ **

**_And she still can't see me._ **

***

“Tea, I can’t understand a word you’re saying. Stop crying and tell me what happened. What did you say or do that was so bad? Tea? Tea!? Are you there? He-lllllo? Tea, answer meeeee!”

Without a word, I hung up on Dawn. Jumping from the seat, I stared at the empty spot behind the bench, unnerved. I felt something touch my neck just now. I’m sure I did… 

When the seconds passed by and nothing happened, I calmed down. My fear disappeared and the feelings of self-loathing returned full force, reminding me why I was even here to begin with. Now, on top of feeling like piece of shit, I felt like a stupid piece of shit. 

I’d always known it, but my date with Finn Bálor had all but confirmed how worthless a human being I was. I should have listened to Dawn and her friends when they said not to get my hopes up, that there was a reason I didn’t get much attention from men compared to them. I shouldn’t have entertained the notion that he’d see any good in me or my life when there was nothing but bad to be found.

*** 

_ I knew it was hopeless. I knew I was lost the moment I saw her that night.  _

_ When Bálor sets his sights on a particular soul, he would stop at nothing to take it. Poor Teagan. Appearing as a steak dinner to a starving man.  _

**_I stood behind her and decloaked myself. “Teagan,” I whispered._ **

**_She spun to face me, stunned and mortified. “Finn?” Little did she know...it would be the last thing she'd ever say._ **

**_Tendrils of dark energy struck, coiling around her as an anaconda to food. Quickly muting her vocal cords, forcing her jaw open, and calling forth, her soul rose to meet my open and waiting mouth. An extraction like this hurts like hell, especially when the soul fights to stay._ **

**Every cell resonated with this delicious soul. I attempted to savor as much as I could of this sweet little child.**

*** 

_ It hurts.  _ **_Oh God, it hurts!!_ **

I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know why Finn had materialised out of nowhere, why black coils of energy had sprung forth from him, or why I couldn’t move speak a word. I couldn’t make sense of anything that was going on.

But I did know one thing: Finn was hurting - no  _ killing  _ \- me and I was more scared than I’d ever being in my entire life.

There were no words to describe the sensation I was feeling. If I had to make a comparison, I’d say it was like feeling all your organs being slowly, inch by inch, dragged out of your body through your mouth. Or as if someone was breaking bits of your brain off and sucking it out and you were aware of every second of it. However, even that didn’t come close to the pain, the all-consuming terror I was feeling right now. 

_ Please. _ I wanted to vocalise, but could only think.  _ Please, stop. It hurts so much! Do- Don’t kill me. I don’t want to die like this! Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I made you mad by leaving. I’m sorry!  _

When Finn - his eyes burning red and his teeth sharp - didn’t react, just standing before me, his mouth wide open as if to swallow me whole, I became near mindless with fear. Unable to run, unable to scream, I reverted back to the scared, downtrodden child of my youth whose go-to tactic to any oncoming threat or problem was to repeatedly apologise in the hope it would fix everything. 

**_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!_ **

*** 

_ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Teagan, I’m so sorry!! _

**I can hear him, Finn - or should I say, Fergal - the pissant human. Apologizing to the food? You would think he was some child rather than the human who bested me! Ha!**

**This soul...so sweet, so decadent...pure with the right amount of melancholy. A worthy feast in a world of scraps.**

**The last wisp of her soul - Heaven could not have her. I, the Demon King, would have ALL of her - escaped with a final tug. As she hung limp, I put her out of her misery and snuffed her out in ash and dust, adrift in the autumn wind.**

**I placed a hand on my stomach. I could feel it pulsing and throbbing as I left the courtyard. And then...something strange. A tear welled in my vessel's eye. Flashes of an angry woman, a cheating boyfriend, loneliness, despair. So much despair…**

**And then it dissipated. Finn could feel it. We always did when consuming the soul.**

**But never so strong as this one.**

**And now...we'll never know why.** ****

*** __

_ Of course...that's one way it could have happened. And quite frankly, I'm glad it didn't. Again, the demon is a bastard.  _

_ But suppose she had died before she ever walked my way? Before she ever met Dawn? Before she ever escaped the streets?  _

_ What if she died and became a demon?  _

_ I could only imagine the possibilities…  _

_ *** _

**_What If? - Consider Yourself One of Us._ ** __

_ “My King, we’ve run into a little...problem. One we need your assistance with immediately.”  _

_ Kane and William Regal were having a disagreement.  _

_ This wasn’t out of the ordinary. The two were Hell’s very own ‘The Odd Couple’, both relics of a time now long gone, but with very different ideologies and methods. As such, they clashed on how to handle certain matters. The most common being that Regal saw potential in a void and wished to shortlist them for the good of Hell, while Kane wanted them to suffer for a good dozen centuries first.   _

_ However, this time it was different. This time it was  _ **_Kane_ ** _ requesting protocol be broken, something which had only happened once or twice since his Fall to Hell.  _

_ He's rarely ever wrong (with exception to...well, Paige), so it isn't as if I didn't trust his judgement. Like Regal, he had an eye for talent. Unlike Regal, he was far more discriminate in his choices. Yet both had near-flawless track records.  _

_ “She has the potential, my King. Her innocence, the darkness inside. She's already twisted, and the rest can be taught. We must take her on.”  _

_ “I disagree,” Regal interjected. “She’s not a corrupted soul who chose to embrace her darkness. She’s an incorruptible soul who’s shine has dimmed and has now lost the will to live - it's not the same. She would need more time, more torment, and, I can't stress this enough, she would need to  _ **_willingly_ ** _ choose to become a demon. If you pressure or force it onto her, the consequences will be catastrophic!”  _

_ That piqued my interest. Souls fell from Heaven more than they cared to admit, often from the discovery that God had left the building. However, an incorruptible soul that chose to fall was like seeing Halley's Comet every nine decades. They were souls that were resistant to temptation and corruption, and were just as rare, almost mythic.  _

_ “There's no such thing as an incorruptible soul!” Kane boomed. (Regal and I knew they did, but Kane had never encountered one a day in his life.) “Come see her for yourself!”  _

_ Amused and intrigued, I followed them down.  _

_ ***  _

_ I’m done. No more. I can’t take it anymore.  _

After a lifetime of pain and despair, it was with the greatest of irony that the day I decided to look on the bright side and keep on fighting, I ended up dying. The final chapter of my life came to a close with me, homeless, and freezing to death in an alley I’d taken refuge in. 

I thought that would be the end of that - It  _ should  _ have been. However, much to my dismay, when I got to Heaven, I found out the ugly truth. God - loving, merciful, forgiving God - was not there. He hadn’t been for a long time. And nor was Heaven this paradise filled with peace and bliss I’d pictured. Quite simply, it was a resting place for good humans. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Heaven was not the answer to everything I believed it to be, nor it was not the reward the Bible had claimed it to be. 

From the beginning, it was nothing but one big, cruel  _ farce _ . 

After finding out the information I needed, I turned my back on the pearly gates and fell to Hell without a moment’s hesitation. 

When I got there, a tall, intimidating figure, decked out in black and red and looking like he stepped out of a horror movie greeted me. He welcomed me with open arms, told me he’d been waiting for me for a very long time. 

His joviality vanished the second I asked him to kill me, however. 

That man - Kane, I think his name was - had refused to grant my request. His companion, a man who seemed to be a refined English gentleman, seemed willing, if not a little reluctant to oblige my request, however. It wasn’t long until a heated exchanged had broken out between them and, before I knew it, I was told to wait for them to return, while they took the matter to their master. 

So I sat and I waited. What else could I do? 

As I did, other demons paid me a visit. To my surprise, I’d met some of them before…

 “Well, well, well…. If it isn’t Miss. Goody Two Shoes. Bet you wish you’d taken the drugs now, huh?” The goth girl who tried to get me hooked was named Paige.

“ _ Ooooh yeeeees! _ It’s youuuuu! I knew you’d come, yes I did. I told Kane and my Undertaker Hell would not be seeing the last of you and I was right. Welcome!” The ghoulish pallbearer who tried to get me to sell my soul. His name was, ironically enough, Paul Bearer. 

And then there were others who just wanted to meet me…and ask if they could be the one to end my life. Apparently my soul was ‘incorruptible’, a one in a million kind of deal. Plus, if the demons were to believed, there were rumours about how delicious my kind of soul tasted. It was an experience they were all desperate to try. 

Basically, in their words, I was “the mother of all acquisitions”, the “jackpot to end all jackpots.” 

It wasn’t long until the demons - their eyes ranging from orange-gold, to pitch black, to yellowish green - were all crowding around me, like a pack of ravenous wolves, begging me to pick one of them. How they’d make it worth my while, etc. 

Ignoring them, I looked up as Regal, Kane, and another man - the boss, I presumed - entered the chamber. 

_ ***  _

_ “Teagan Dunn,” Regal began. “Allow us to introduce you to the Demon King, Finn Bálor. We brought the matter to his attention - the final decision rests with him.”  _

_ “Thank you, Regal.” I gazed upon her, into her eyes, and I could see what Regal meant. It was as though it had been covered in layers of cloaks, yet the strength and resiliency was there. Unbroken by circumstances. All it needed was a cause to serve. And she needed the guidance that she never received in life.  _

_ There was potential, just as Kane said. And she could be taught. If she were willing.  _

_ “So...you discovered Heaven's lie, and decided to Fall and seek your oblivion. Tell me, Teagan, what drives you to want complete obliteration without exploring the possibilities here?”  _

_ ***  _

_ So... _ **_this_ ** _ is the Demon King? The ones the angels were talking about? _

Hell really was full of surprises. Not only was it not the fire and brimstone I’d envisioned, but the guy in charge, the figurative Devil, was ridiculously modelesque and handsome. He looked like someone who could have had any carer in front of a camera and excelled in it. 

I was too depressed to care.

“I’m tired. My life was hell and death isn’t the escape or end like I hoped it would be. I thought Heaven would be my happy ending, but it’s not! If anything it’s a slap in my face, literal proof that my life was one big, fat fucking joke! I spent my life devoting myself to God to please my mother and make her feel some semblance of love for me and for what!? For nothing! I suffered for nothing!  _ I’ve had enough! _ ” 

Screaming out the last bit, I buried my face in my hands. 

“Please, I’m  _ begging  _ you. Show me the mercy Heaven wouldn’t and send me to my eternal rest. I want to die. I just...I don’t want to BE anymore. Do you understand!? I don’t like myself and I’m not happy. I...I give up, okay?” 

“Dear girl, do you realise what you’re asking?” Regal spoke, a look of profound pity on his face. 

I nodded. I did. I understood perfectly. And I was desperate. “Listen. They,” I motioned towards the demons in the background, “They said that I have an incorruptible soul, or something. That you demons  _ never  _ get to eat the good souls. If...If it’ll convince you, you can eat me.  _ Please _ .” I fell to my knees before Bálor. “I don’t care if it hurts, I won’t fight you. You can eat my soul, just kill me.” 

_ ***  _

_ I kneeled down with her, meeting her level. I pressed fingers to her forehead and... I could see it all. The abuse from her mother. Hiding her desires from others. The shady Christian boyfriend. Life on the street.  _

_ This...was dismal. It was never the easiest task to receive souls in such a state. Especially when what they truly deserve is the life they never had the chance to realize.  _

_ When I spoke, it was gentle, reverent. “The life you had wasn't much of a life. You were surrounded by elements that actively tried to suck the life out of you before you had a chance to live. What you're asking for isn't mercy. It's unkind, mainly to yourself.” _

_ I lifted her face to meet my eyes. “But what if I could give you something better? Take the pain away, show you a different life. You're not the first to fall. And many of those who do choose to stay here and serve. They're happier because none of what we do here is hidden or a falsehood. We are what we are, with the whole world at our disposal. Kane, Regal, and I can guide you.”  _

_ Her tears ebbed, she looks at me with surprise. I rose to my feet and extended a hand to hers in invitation.  _

_ “A trial period is all I ask. If you still desire oblivion, I will personally oblige. Agreed?”  _

_ ***  _

I didn’t accept immediately. It all sounded so nice, but so many things did until you read the fine print. Plus, I knew, once I took his hand in mine, there’d be no turning back. I’d be committing myself to Hell, to becoming a demon. 

Thing was, I had a few issues with that… 

“I’m not sure this will work.” I confessed. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m sorry; I just don’t have it in me. I don’t like to see others suffering.” 

“When I’m through with you, you’ll relish the thought.” Kane simply said. 

The demon lost his temper when I crossed my arms, making it quite clear that this was something of a deal breaker for me. 

“ _ I don’t understand you! _ ” He yelled, flames bursting forth from the ground, sending a good few of the bystander demons scurrying in fear. “Do you have any idea the opportunity you’ve been given!? If you were anyone else, we would have wiped out your pathetic soul without hesitation, but, instead, we’re offering you something that most voids here have to wait  _ centuries  _ for! And still you fight every step of the way! You want to die so much, then fine, but the only thing you’re going to achieve is letting those who hurt you win. Don’t waste your potential, embrace it! Make Heaven regret ever losing you!” 

My eyes widened. I was speechless. 

This was so fucked up. So very fucked up. Humans, my own kind, had abused me and turned their back on me my whole life. And Heaven never cared about me to begin with. The forces of Hell were the only ones who gave a shit about me, practically pulling out all the stops to persuade me to join them.

It was a lot to process all at once. 

Gathering my nerves, I glared into Kane’s eyes and said firmly, “If I become a demon, I refuse to corrupt innocent souls. Deal with it or kill me. Your choice.” 

Kane looked like he was about to lose it. However, he must have known, if he did, he’d potentially ruin any chances of me accepting, something he desperately wanted. 

So he didn’t. He reigned himself in, something which stunned the other demons watching. Apparently, this was something that just did not happen.

“Take it up with the King and we’ll see what we can do. Any other demands you wish to make?” He said through gritted teeth. 

I went to respond, but Paige interrupted. “I don’t get it. How come you’re all bending over backwards for her? You never went this far to get ME to become a demon! What’s so special about  _ her _ ?” 

_ ***  _

_ “We never needed to with you because you were practically one already,” I snapped back. “A decision I'm coming dangerously close to revoking immediately.”  _

_ Paige's mouth shut rather quickly after that, though she looked no less put out.  _

_ I return my attention to Teagan. “You'll have to forgive Kane for his passion. He comes from a time where we did torment the innocent, but not so much these days. We focus on the cruel and wicked here. There's far too many as it is - we're practically pest control. He is certainly right, however. You're being gifted with a rare opportunity, as rare as you are to us. You won't harm an innocent soul - plus you'll know the difference right off. And with your tenacity, your strength...if you applied even half the effort you place upon seeking death into reaching your potential here, you could be glorious. I echo Kane's statement: make Heaven regret ever losing you. Of course, the choice is yours.”  _

_ ***  _

Satisfied that I wouldn’t be expected to hurt anyone innocent, I silently mulled over Bálor’s words. 

There were three things I had wanted in life:

1) A place to call home. To belong.

2) To be loved. To not feel lonely anymore.

3) To be happy. To be content, not only with what I had, but myself.

 None of those three came true. I died literally homeless, alone, and full of loathing, for myself and the world. I thought Heaven might have given me these things, but it failed me, too. So now, that left only Oblivion...or Hell.

Could Hell give me those things? The first, most definitely. I’d certainly belong here if I chose to join its ranks. As for the second, I doubt I’d ever be lonely again if I had Regal, Kane and Bálor around me. And, while I may not be loved, I was certainly coveted. I felt like a goddamn celebrity down here, it was too much. 

And as for the last? ….Who knew? Maybe it would, maybe not, but I’d never know until I took the chance. 

I accepted the Demon King’s hand. “Okay...I’ll give it a shot. But, give me your word that you’ll put me out of my misery if the trial period doesn’t work out. I need that.” 

And then, because it had to be asked, “So...one of the angels told me before I came here that I didn’t want to become a demon. That it was a long, painful process. I guess that means you’re going to torture me?” 

“Yes.” Kane was brutally honest as one could get. “And that’s non-negotiable. It’s too late to change your mind, you’ve agreed to the deal.” He looked at Bálor. “Sire, don’t let her back out of this!” 

_ ***  _

_ I laughed. “It's fine, Kane. She knows what she's getting into.”  _

_ Looking at Teagan, I stated, “You have my word. And yes, while there will be torment, two things to bear in mind: one, you will be placed on a very fast track. You see, your soul is unique in that it's stronger than others. It would take forever if we went about it the proper way. Plus, it finds darkness only if you choose to seek it. The torment is a guiding tool, but it will only go so far. Like the trial period, it’ll pass in a blink. Plus, it makes Kane happy.” I motioned to the red demon in the corner as a tiny cruel smile appeared on his face.  _

_ “Two, when the trial period begins, you'll follow each of us to see what we do and ask questions. Then, should you choose to stay, your training begins. You'll have us to take you the rest of the way. Bring you up to speed on a few things, show you the ropes, learn where your strengths are. Consider us your teachers.”  _

_ ***  _

“It’s fine, I understand. ‘No pain, no gain’, as they say.” I responded.

 Truth be told, the torture and torment was actually the easiest thing for me to accept. After a life full of nothing of it, I reckoned it wasn’t going to kill me to deal with it just a bit longer. So long as there was an end in sight, I’d endure whatever they threw at me.

That was  _ if _ I decided to become a demon. The way I was now, I’d still happily consign myself to Oblivion.  

_ ***  _

_ “You've chosen well, Teagan. I'll leave you in Kane's capable hands.” I took her hand in mine and kissed the back of it, adding, “I’ll see you soon.”  _

_ As Regal and I left the room, he asked, “You're certain of this, my King? She may yet choose Oblivion.”  _

_ “I have a good feeling she won't, not after we're through with her. She could be  _ **_outstanding_ ** _ , Regal.” I felt very confident about the prospect.  _

_ He chuckled. “I've no doubt of that, dear boy. And I wholeheartedly agree. She'll make a fine addition under our collective tutelage.”  _

_ “So it's settled then. Teagan Dunn will be our greatest acquisition.” _

 

To be continued...


	25. Maybes and What-Ifs, pt. 2

In the end, I did decide to become a demon, though that was less because I wanted to pursue such a path, and more because Oblivion didn’t seem as desirable anymore. And, seeing as the opportunity was open to me, I decided I might as well take it.

Once I made my choice and the ball to turn me into a demon officially got rolling...the torture and torment I’d heard so much about from Kane begun.

I remember that moment clearly. __

_ I entered my own personal torture chamber where I would be put through unspeakable horrors for God knows how long… Regal and Bálor accompanied me. They said they wanted to by my side, at least for the first time. They were nice like that. _

_ Kane was jubilant. He’d been waiting for this moment since the second I entered Hell. _

_ “I like you, Teagan, so I’m going to give you a choice.” He laughed as he locked the door, sealing my fate. “Which one would you prefer? Being skinned alive, or being burned?” _

_ “Neither.” I said, causing a look of confusion to come over the demon’s face. _

_ I then explained myself. “I want you to carve the pain of my soul onto my body. Push me to the very limit and take me to the brink of despair so that, no matter what happens, I will  _ **_never_ ** _ forget who I was and where I came from.” _

_ Kane didn’t react at first - probably too shocked - but, when he did, he couldn’t stop laughing. _

_ “Oh, excellent! Gladly! I’ll make your suffering  _ **_legendary!_ ** _ ” _

_ And he did. _

It was  _ agony _ . A hundred years worth, to be exact. Bálor said it would pass in a blink, but it felt like it lasted a lifetime. The pain inflicted on me during that time, mentally and physically, was sometimes so intense, so horrific that I was sure I’d lose my mind. To this day, I’m not sure how I managed to endure it all.

But I did. Because I had a goal in mind. You see, I didn’t ask for Kane to go all out torturing me for the hell of it. I asked him because I wasn’t going to end up like other demons before me, not a shred of humanity within them, only caring about eating and their own selfish needs.

No, I took all that torture and I imprinted everything it had to offer so that I would never forget the most important thing of all: the old me. 

Throughout it all, that was my promise to myself: The poor, human Teagan Dunn who was beaten down by the world would live on forever in my heart. Her humanity was the light I took with me into the dark abyss to guide my way. And that shine that remained in my darkened soul - though small - was her, too.

It wasn’t hard. That was one of the benefits of having an incorruptible soul: They might change me, but they’d never break me.

***

_ It was like polishing a rare jewel. _

_ Teagan came out of a century of torment with the scars of her deepest pain symbolically tattooed on her body. And she was beautiful. _

_ Just as we hoped, she was an apt pupil under our charge. Kane taught her the finer points of torture and the history of the Old Guard. I had never seen Kane so pleased to have someone under his wing. _

_ Regal taught her the art of subtlety, sabotage, and subterfuge - with her beguiling eyes and ability to appear innocent, she excelled. He also told her stories of the changes that Hell had undergone from before I took the mantle onward. _

_ From me, she learned to fight, and to harness her new power and abilities. If she was going to unleash Hell on someone - and if anyone could relate to her on a personal level - it was me. I told her of how I came to be the Demon King and where Hell's future might lead. _

_ We each took her on a field run, to test and apply her knowledge. She did not disappoint. _

_ Teagan received a well-rounded education, and it showed. _

_ But what intrigued me most? The small wisp of light that burned in her soul. The one part that she kept for herself, that made her stronger than others. _

_ She was a demon, but with a bit of humanity. _

_ She was like me. _

_ Probably why we got along so well. _

***

Here’s an interesting fact for you: Hell has great internet reception

I bring this up because, every once in awhile, it’s mandatory for everyone - yes, even the Demon King - to attend board meetings regarding Hell’s annual performance. It’s every bit as boring as it sounds. I always leave wishing I could meet the person who decided it was necessary, just so I can slap them upside the head and ask what the hell they were thinking.

Anyway, my tactic for dealing with said board meetings was to play Candy Crush on my phone under the table. As well as being an addictive game, it was an absolute lifesaver for boredom.

The other demons couldn’t believe my audacity. Their reactions always ranged from appalled to impressed. Yet another thing that differentiated me from them. While they all followed orders and kowtowed to authority, I was...well of a different mold, let’s say.

I quite literally didn’t give a fuck. 

Case in point…

“Teagan.” Kane said through clenched teeth as he caught me for the third time on my phone. “Pay attention or I  _ will _ give you a strike.”

“Sure.”

Kane stared at me. “You do realise that if I get to three, you’ll be exterminated?”

“I do.” I continued playing the level, the picture of perfect ease. I only had five moves left, I was so close to finishing it. “By all means, go ahead. I’d prefer that than having to stay in this meeting a second longer.”

Paige’s mouth literally dropped open. If she were to pull this stunt, she’d have been fried to a crisp right about now. Hell, the other demons probably thought I was a dead woman.

Maybe I was. Did I care? Not one bit.

I frowned. My moves were up and I had to pay if I wanted to complete the level. No thanks.

I met Kane’s gaze. “So. Want me to go throw myself into the pit for the Groundlings? Or shall I go wait for you to come and torture me later. I’m not fussy, anything to get me out of here.”

_...Oh wow. I think I’ve broken Kane’s brain. _

“Teagan.” Regal’s voice broke through the silence. There’s a smile on his face, but his voice made it quite clear that I was in trouble. “Go to my office now.”

I smiled. Mission accomplished.

***

_ Teagan was in trouble. _

_ No surprise there - it came with the territory of creating a demon from an incorruptible soul, especially one as tormented in life as she had been. The fires of Hell had refined her rather than broke her, and not even the threat of being extinguished scared her. _

_ Neither, laughably, did Kane or Regal. _

_ So when Regal called my phone from outside of his office a bit frazzled, it took a little extra control not to laugh at his account. _

_ “I'm sure you find this amusing, my King, but this must be addressed. The last thing we need is someone even worse than Paige,” he stressed. _

_ Point taken. _

_ “Send her to me,” I directed. “I'll handle it from here.” _

_ “Thank you, my King.” _

_ Teagan, Teagan. All that drive and no way to utilize it. _

_ I can remedy that. _

***

In life, as a human, I was tormented by fantasies and desires I was raised to believe were wicked and wrong. They were of the BDSM persuasion and I repressed them from puberty to death, terrified of what people would think of me if I were to embrace them.

Becoming a demon had changed that, for the better  _ and _ for the worse.

On one hand, I was now liberated. The shackles that held me back were now off and I could explore and celebrate the real me to my heart’s content without fear of judgement. Who cared if it was bad? I was a demon now. As far as humans were concerned, I was the epitome of badness.

On the other, those desires, with my transformation, had become heightened and twisted. Whereas before they were strictly dreams and for the bedroom, now it had become a part of me, a twenty-four hour kind of deal. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but was quickly becoming so because I had no outlet for these urges. There was nothing to keep me grounded and stop me from pulling stupid shit that would likely end up getting me killed.

The fact of the matter was that I  _ needed _ to be dominated. I needed to serve, to give myself completely to a higher will than my own, one that could handle me and scratch that eternal itch I had.

Kane could not do it. For all his violence and passion, I had him wrapped around my little finger. As for Regal, I loved the guy, but as a father figure.

So that left my literal boss, Finn Bálor. I had an inkling he might be the one - I’d heard all the stories from Regal about how he was the best Demon King Hell ever had, how ruthless and terrible he could be - but I had to make sure. That’s where my stunt had come in today.

Prepared, I knocked on Finn’s office door.

*** 

_ “Come in,” I called. In walked Teagan, looking like the cat that finally caught the mouse. _

_  I sat on the edge of my desk, watching with my arms crossed in front of my chest. “Teagan… indulge my curiosity for a moment. That little stunt you pulled at today's meeting. Was that  _ **_really_ ** _ necessary to get my attention? If so, congrats. You've succeeded - but to what purpose?” _

***

_ Oooh, this is just like one of those Teacher/Student fantasies.  _ **_I love it!_ **

Any other demon would be terrified right about now. I’d lost count of how many had come up to me today, telling me it was nice knowing me, or advising me to grovel the second I walked into the office. That the Demon King was going to make me pay.

But I wasn’t. I was practically giddy with excitement. 

“I’ll be honest, I was just  _ really _ bored. Besides,” I smiled at him, as if we were having a friendly chat and not that he was about to tell me off or worse. “You have to admit it was pretty funny. No one came out of that meeting bored anymore, am I right?”

I rested my chin on my hands. “I think it’s cute, by the way. What you’re doing right now.” 

*** 

**_Cute_ ** _ , she says. _

_ “And what am I doing right now that you find so cute? Because I'll be honest, what you did today? That  _ **_wasn't_ ** _. So I ask again: to what purpose did you come to me?” The growl in the last few words was low and controlled. _

***

A look that was one of pleasure and fright came over my face. An involuntary shudder escaped me. Up until now, I’d only ever seen Finn as my smiling, friendly, and kind of adorkable boss. I KNEW he was the Demon King, but I’d never seen it for myself. 

Now I was. 

_ There he is.  _ **_There’s_ ** _ the Finn Bálor that Regal was telling me about. _

Out of respect, I dropped the ‘cute little brat’ act and put all my cards on the table before him. Come what may, I decided.

“Can you be my Master?” I blurted out in my excitement. He cocked a curious eyebrow.

“...Hold on, let me rewind and start again. I have these... _ urges _ …and I was able to deal with them as a human - well, I repressed them, but that’s not the point! - but now, they’re kind of getting a bit out of control and it’s starting to drive me up the wall.” I explained. “I need… I need something  _ more _ , Finn. This isn’t enough!” 

***

_ I chuckled as I stepped away from the desk. When she was at arm's length, I chided while circling around her, “You know... none of this was necessary. You think I didn't know that this would happen eventually? That your urges would become more pronounced as you got stronger? Hmmm.” _

_ A brush of fingertips against her neck, up through her hair. “If you had come to me sooner instead of being such a fucking brat…” _

_ I tugged at her hair and pulled her back until she fell against me. Lowering my lips to her ear, I whispered, “You could have been on your knees for me by now.” _

***

My breath came out in short gasps and my orange-gold eyes glazed over a little.  _ Oh fuck… _

“It-It’s not too late, right? I can still be your slave, right? Nikki and the others said you were probably going to kill me, but you wouldn’t do that, right? Not to me. Because you understand me and I understand you. We have to stick together, you know?” I babbled, my nerves acting up.

“I’m sorry about what I did in the meeting today. I’ll never do it again, I promise. I’ll be good from now on. If...If you spare me, I’ll prove it to you.”

***

_ “Shhhh...breathe, Teagan.” _

_ My fingers travel along the side of her face with my free hand, moving ever slowly downward. “I had no intention of killing you. Never on the table, especially not for a first offense. I know you could be so good for me, wouldn’t you? If you want to prove that, here's your chance.” _

***

Lust in my eyes, I nodded my head.

Within seconds I was on my knees before me. My rightful place.

“Ca-can I serve you? Can I belong to you? Please, Master, use me to your heart’s content. Punish me, dominate and subjugate me. Be as rough as you want. So long as you treat me nicely at the end and tell me you’re pleased, that I’m your good girl, you can do whatever you want to me. Give me an order and it  _ will  _ be done. What you desire is all that matters to me. If you’re happy, I’m happy. I’ll never betray you, I’ll always be there for you when you need me. I’ll be everything you want or need me to be, I promise.”

I then said in a vulnerable voice, some of my old human insecurities returning to the surface, “Pl...Please, Finn? Can I be yours?”

Though I’d hidden it well, I cared very much for Finn Bálor. He wasn’t just a boss to me, he was a kindred spirit. He, like me, became a demon out of necessity rather than out of choice. He’d also managed to keep a hold of his humanity, just as I had done. In Hell, where demons were capricious and alliances fleeting, that held a lot of stock. I trusted him unconditionally and I hoped he felt the same way about me.

But it was more than that. Finn was literally the first person who showed me any kindness. I hadn’t been just an acquisition to him or a soul to be devoured. He treated me with respect, he’d helped me, took me under his wing when he could have just left me to Regal and Kane and forgot about me. That meant more to me than I could ever say.

(Also, I have a memory from that century of torment, during one instance when it was getting too much for me, of a gentle hand stroking my hair and telling me to remain strong. I’m certain it was Finn, though I doubt he’d admit to it.) 

***

_ On her knees, she had a kind of control. It was in her desire to serve, the way she trusted me completely, her willingness to subject herself to every command. _

_ And I was helpless against it. Who was I to deny her?  _

_ Teagan was right. We understood each other. One and the same.  _

_ The days I would check in on her, and she was delirious from the exquisite pain, I stroked her hair, spoke soft words of comfort and encouragement to her, knowing she would survive. She never gave up.  _

_ She came out whole, new, stronger than ever. _

_ And able to handle everything I could possibly do to her. _

_ “You are a good girl, Teagan,” I cooed with tender hands in her hair. “ _ **_My_ ** _ good girl. On your knees so perfectly for me, exactly where I want you.” _

***

I closed my eyes, joy overflowing in me upon hearing those words. Finally, I’d be alright now. I had Finn to rein me in, to devote myself to. As far as I was concerned, he wasn’t just my boss, he was practically my God and whatever he said was absolute.

“Thank you, thank you so much.”

Opening my eyes, I gazed up at him. “I was bad today. I should be punished.” 

***

_ The smile on my face was outright wicked. I walked to the cozy lounger on the other side of the room, locking the door with a snap of my fingers. Removing the tie, unbuttoning the first few shirt buttons, I sat down as her eyes followed my movements. “Come, Teagan, on your hands and knees. Receive your punishment.” _

***

_ Oh God. Yes, yes, yes!! _

I wasted no time crawling across the room, over to where Finn now sat.

Once I reached him, I straightened up, awaiting my next order. All the while, I bunched my knees together, my arousal starting to make itself known.

***

_ “Hmmm...what am I to do with you?” _

_ I looked her over, a predator to his prey. But I kept my voice cool. “You were very naughty today. Trying to get my attention like that. That mouth of yours seems to get you in trouble.” _

_ My thumb teased at her full pink lips lightly, before pushing in just a bit. “I think...that mouth should be put to work.” _

***

Placing a hand on Finn’s so that he couldn’t pull his hand back, so that his thumb stayed near my lips, I slowly took all of it into my mouth and began to lightly suck on it.

With my free hand, I reached out to the zip of his trousers and pulled it down.

***

_ I stopped her hand. There was a hint of alarm in her eyes, but it quickly dissipated as I guided her hand and pressed it against me. Her fingers wrapped around it as if to gauge what she had gotten herself into. A small gasp escaped her lips. _

_ “Nervous?” _

***

I nodded.

Removing his thumb from my mouth, I said, “This is going to sound kind of ridiculous considering I’m a demon and all, but...I’ve never actually done anything sexual with a man before. You’ll be my first, Sir.”

“...Plus, you’re big.  _ Really big. _ ” I looked down, all demure. “I’m not sure I can handle you, Master.”

***

**_Master_ ** _. Coming from her lips, it was a turn on unlike any other. _

_ I leaned forward and, eyes closed, pull her into a kiss. Chaste and careful at first, slowly coaxing her to open up to me. When I drew back, I saw that she chased my mouth, wanting more. _

_ “I'll guide you through it then,” I promised against her lips. _

***

Kissing those lips was something else altogether. Up until now, I’d only ever received quick pecks on the lips, courtesy of Caleb. The one time we had tried to kiss each other full-on had been disappointing. Wet, bloodless, clumsy...nothing like the warm, passionate one Finn was giving me now.

I nodded my head at his words. I trusted him.

“Yes, Master. Please. I want to pleasure you to the best of my abilities.”

***

_ “Good girl,” I praised. “Don't be ashamed - I don't want you to feel that I want you to be perfect. Do what feels right to you. And follow my lead.” _

_ I lowered my dress pants, freeing my cock from its confines. It wasn't the first time its size intimidated someone. But I would make this as easy as possible. _

_ I've never been a selfish lover a day in my life. That might be a lie since there were a couple of targets who really fucking deserved it. _

_ But this wasn't a time of selfishness. This was about putting my new slave through her paces in a way we both enjoyed. _

_ “Start with your hand. Careful strokes. Kiss, lick, do what you're comfortable with. Don't worry, I'll guide you.” I gently touched her cheek. _

***

I blinked, coming out of my submissive mental state a little. “O-Okay, sure.”

Gulping at the size of his dick, I tentatively reached out and wrapped my hand around it. From there, I began to stroke up and down the length of his shaft - not too slowly, not too fast. Not too gently, not too hard...

It wasn’t long until I felt it twitch in my hand, start to harden.

Looking up at Finn to gauge his expression, I licked my lips and then bent down and kissed the tip of it, sucking on it a little.

***

_ My breath caught in my throat as I watched her. Eyes fixed on me as she placed a kiss at the head. _

_ It was fucking amazing to watch. _

_ My eyes flashed red and a low rumbling vibrated in my chest in enjoyment. _

***

I raised my eyebrows at the sound he made.  _ That was good, right? _ I decided to take it as such. Finn was not the kind of mince his words. If there was any part of him that didn’t like what I was doing, he would have made it quite clear.

Opening my lips slightly, I slowly started to take his dick into my mouth.

***

_ “That's a good girl,” I growled, stroking her hair as she takes more of me into her mouth. _

_ I want her used to the feeling, to enjoy it… despite wanting to raise my hips to encourage it further. Besides, it's much too soon to introduce the idea of facefucking. There's time for that. We have all the time in the world to explore each other, to push limits. _

_ And with those lips, I could watch her do this forever. _

***

I take Finn in until I can’t take anymore, until the tip of his penis is just at the back of my throat.

...And then I stared up at him, beseechingly. I had a mouth full of dick and I wasn’t sure what to do now. The porn videos I’d watched as a human had been strictly BDSM, as vanilla porn just hadn’t done it for me. Any sex had been a bonus.

Basically, I knew what to do in theory, but that was about it.

Testing the waters, I put my tongue to use. Starting from the base of the shaft, I trailed it slowly up the cock until it reached the head. I then poked the slit with my tongue, sampling the sweet pre-cum leaking from it.

***

_ Fuck, this was hotter than it had any right to be. Her eyes wondering what comes next, and her tongue... _

_ It took so much not to pump in and out of her mouth. Instead I shuddered out a moan and said, “Now, slide up and down, as slow or fast as you can handle...fuck, you're doing so well…” _

_ I give her hair a firm tug as she follows my instruction to the letter. My head rolls against the wall and the rumble becomes a low growl. _

***

Encouraged, I threw myself into it. I wanted to hear Finn growling more and more. I wanted to bring out his inner demon, Bálor, and make him lose all restraint. I wanted him ravage me in every sense of the word.

I started off slow, sliding my lips up and down his length at a leisurely pace, taking my time exploring him, tasting him.

Then I started to pick it up.

A moan escaped me. Ah, the feeling of his hand tugging my scalp, the musky taste of him, his eyes glowing red as his human facade started to break. All he needed to do was start facefucking me with total abandon and I’d swear I was in Heaven, not Hell.

And to think I deprived myself from ever experiencing pleasures such as this when alive.

***

_ I gripped her hair even harder, holding her in place as my hips roll. Her lips tighten around my cock as I slide in and out of her mouth, and fuck, her  _ **_moans_ ** _ … I felt animalistic, ready to claim her with a bite to the neck. _

_ When I look down upon her face, my eyes are burning a hellish red. She knows what she's doing, and she knows that I know. _

_ Time I give her exactly what she's pushing for. _

***

_ Do it. _ I thought, staring at Finn, knowing he can read my mind. My eyes burned orange-gold as I, too, started losing composure. Despite what it may seem, he wasn’t the only one struggling. The sensation between my legs was  _ killing _ me.

_Go on, Sir. Do it._ **_Destroy_** _me._

Gentle and loving could come afterwards. Right now, all I wanted was for him to use and abuse me to his heart’s content.

***

_ Faster, harder, uncontrolled... taking her head with both hands I move furiously, fucking her mouth, watching the fire in her eyes rage out of control. She's practically throbbing right now, ripe to be taken. _

_ Punishing Teagan's sinful mouth, I let a roar tear from me as I pull her off. Her disheveled appearance, lips wet and blushing red, her tongue reaching out for more of my cock. _

_ But I had other plans. “Strip,” I demand in a guttural, primal tone. _

***

For a second, I was gone. All I could focus on was how Finn was shoving his dick in and out of my mouth and down my throat, not caring the least bit if I could handle him or not. My arms fell limp by my side and I closed my eyes, savouring it.  _ Yes, use me! Fucking choke me on your big dick, Sir. _

When he stopped, all composure had left me, my eyes glazed over and panting wantonly.

I couldn’t get my clothes off fast enough when he gave the order.

Once bare, I resumed kneeling before him. My knees were bunched up even tighter, my arousal soaking my inner thighs.

***

_ The moment her scent hit me, I knew it was over. She was so pure and earthen, sunlight and petrichor after a summer storm. _

_ I traced her lips with the head of my cock, teasing her. “This what you want?” She nodded, whimpering. Who was I to deny her? _

_ I returned to pumping in and out of her mouth, but I couldn't let her go wanting… _

_ A tendril of energy crept between her legs, caressing and playing at her heated, wet core. She trembled, and I fucked her mouth even harder. _

***

My whimpering grew louder, a truly impressive feat since my mouth and throat was currently filled with nothing but Finn’s dick.

Fingers digging into the ground, I pushed slightly against the tendril of energy working my vagina. It wasn’t easy, I had to keep my head still for Finn, but, then, I never went into this expecting it to be easy or to get everything handed to me.

And besides, the more I held it off, the more explosive it’d be once I reached my climax.

_ Ooooh God, Master. _ I moaned.

***

_ I knew it would be distracting for her, getting toyed with at the same time. _

_ I wanted this to be torture of a far better kind. And I was  _ **_so_ ** _ close… _

_ I wanted to ruin her. In all the best possible ways. _

_ The tendril moved even faster, almost vibrating as it slipped inside of her, matching my rhythm. _

_ I wanted her to lose her mind entirely, the same time I did. _

***

_ Oh God, I can’t take this.  _ **_I can’t take this!_ **

My eyes lolled back into my head. Finn facefucking me, handling me like I was nothing but a sex object was bad enough, but now his tendril was inside of me, mercilessly going faster and faster and faster-

I just needed one more push…

Opening my eyes, I gazed up at Finn. He seemed to be at his limit too...

“ **_You’re mine. You belong to me now._ ** ” He growled out in a deep, guttural voice.  

That did it. That was all it took.

My body tensed up and my back arched as the sensation in my vagina exploded and spread all throughout my body. The position I was bent in looked painful, but right now all I felt was pleasure.

**_Finn! My master!_ **

***

_ I growled in delight at her release as I hurtled towards my own. _

_ Mine. Mine.  _ **_Mine_ ** _!  _ **_MINE_ ** _! _

_ The wind felt punched from my gut as I pulled her off and came violently upon her breasts, marking her even further. _

**_My_ ** _ property.  _ **_My_ ** _ territory to explore. _

**_Mine_ ** _. _

***

With Finn’s hands no longer holding me in place, I collapsed to the ground, the strength having left me entirely. 

Lying on my back and gasping, I managed to say, “Th...Thank you...so much.”

_ Goddamn, that was so good. _

***

_ “Oh no,” I replied, grinning and panting. “Thank  _ **_you_ ** _.”  I studied her form as it lay supine on the ground. How utterly wrecked. How utterly beautiful. _

_ I rose to my feet and, after pulling up and fastening my pants, I pick her up in my arms and cradle her in my lap. For a few minutes, I tended to her with wipes to clean her up, then praised her with gentle touches, kisses on her forehead and cheek, whispers of “good girl” and “you did so well”. _

_ Even demons need a little care afterwards. _

***

I wrapped my arms around Finn and snuggled against him. The other demons wouldn’t believe their eyes if they were to see us right now. “But he’s our boss! Aren’t you  _ scared _ of him? You should be!”

I could understand, to a degree. He was our Demon King and a force to be reckoned with. There were stories of the wrath he rained down when angered, etc.

Not me, though. When I looked at Finn, I didn’t see any of that. I saw just Finn - smiling, fun, amazing Finn. I was well aware of the darkness inside him and how, if he saw fit, he could crush me without a moment’s notice. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to bask in his light. 

“You know I meant what I said, right? About never betraying you and always been there for you? That wasn’t just me in the zone.” I told him, resting my hand on his cheek. 

***

_ I believed her. Of course I did. I knew her soul as intimately as any other. I knew she knew the penalty and, even if she didn't, would still remain true to her words. _

_ That, to me, meant the world. _

_ “I know,” I replied. “Neither would I betray you. We are the same, you and I. As surely as I exist, for as long as I exist... you have me, Teagan. For as long as you want me.” _

***

I nodded. “Same. I’m yours.”

I entwined my hands with his. “No matter what happens, down here or up there, at least we’ll always have each other.”

After that, I got changed and apologized to Regal and Kane. For the sake of Finn’s reputation as the Demon King, I put on a real show of it, too. I groveled and acted as humble as one could get. I’m sure Regal saw right through it, but he seemed to appreciate the gesture.

***

_ Of course Regal knew what transpired. Had this been a normal work environment, what Teagan and I did wouldn't have been remotely acceptable. _

_ We were not, thankfully, in a normal work environment. And Regal was quietly elated. _

_ “You give each other balance,” he observed. “She's not as reckless, and you're as sharp as you've ever been, just more at ease.” I couldn't argue with that. _

_ Not to say she's the best behaved with everyone. Teagan is still a known smartass, but she is unfailingly respectful and obedient, and is showing to be something of a leader in the field to new demons. _

_ But when it's just us? Well, that depends. _

_ Our bond is close-knit, going well beyond mentor and student, past simple friendship. The trust between us was such that she gave me everything when it came to our dynamic. She was my devoted slave and I, her doting Master. _

_ Regal was onto something. But what was it? _


	26. Maybes and What-Ifs, Pt. 3

It had to be said that, though I hated the meetings Hell had held with a passion, I  _ loved _ its lessons.

They happened whenever Regal or Kane felt the demons could stand to learn something new or test their performance. In today’s case, Kane found himself dealing with a particularly tricky new arrival. The void in question was a serial killer in life, a long list of heinous crimes, and a soul so black no light could penetrate it. Problem was, they were also a sadomasochist. No amount of physical torture phased them, something which was driving poor Kane mad.

So, he and Regal gathered everyone and set a challenge. First demon to break the void got a prize.

I sat cross-legged at the back next to Sasha Banks and watched as demon after demon tried every trick in the book and failed. It wouldn’t be long till it came to my turn to try, and I already had a plan formulating in my head.

Paige stepped up to the plate. Predictably, her approach was to just beat the void within an inch of their life while screaming at it. How disappointing. 

It must have shown on my face as clear as day because she turned and glared at me the second she was done receiving praise from the Bella Twins and some of the other female demons.

“What? You think you’re better than me?” She demanded. “I was a demon before you were even  _ born _ . You are not better than me.”

“I didn’t say I was.” I responded. “I just think you’re better than this. I mean, have you been paying attention to anything Kane said? He  _ likes _ pain. Why dress like a dominatrix and beat him up? The only thing you’ve accomplished is give the guy a stiffy.”

Paige gritted her teeth as some of the demons in the room tittered. “Oh and you think you can do better?”

“Yes.” I said instantly. “I think I can break the guy without even lifting a finger.”

This wasn’t arrogance on my part, this was the God’s honest truth. I’d spent the whole lesson studying the void and, now, I knew how to best attack him. I just needed to wait my turn and then this would all be over.

She sneered. “I can’t wait to see you embarrass yourself.”

I said nothing, resuming watching the lesson.

There was a shift in the atmosphere, though. The exchange between Paige and I had not gone unnoticed and now everyone was talking and making bets.

Who would come out the victor? Paige, the demon of tomorrow, who had a bunch of acquisitions under her belt? Or me, the rookie born from an incorruptible soul, something that was so rare, I was practically the demonic equivalent of a unicorn?

***

_ Well... this just got interesting. _

_ I had passed through to check out the challenge Kane had posed. Curiosity begged, but not just to see who would rise to the occasion. It was because I knew damn well who would crush it. I simply watched, quiet and inconspicuous, from a doorway offsides. _

_ Teagan, for all of her novice-level experience, had impressive insight into what makes even the toughest voids crack. In our field run, she discovered a vulnerability in the target that even I missed, and gleefully exploited it. _

_ Paige, on the other hand, was a veteran. She had a knack for it, sure, and she's got a great many number of conquests under her belt. She also had two strikes against her and a real issue with her ego. One that would eventually cost her very dearly if she wasn't careful. _

_ Paige had taken her shot, and failed. Would Teagan hit the mark? _

_ I had no doubt. _

***

The challenge now set, it was just a matter of waiting for my turn.

After popping out briefly to change my attire,  I was more than prepared.

In my journey to becoming a demon, I’d had a total of five invaluable teachers. The first three were Kane, Regal and Finn. The fourth was the torment I endured for a century, that both twisted me into what I am today, yet saved me from losing myself completely to the darkness.

And the fifth? My mother. The worst of all. 

My mother’s abuse of me was exquisite in its execution. She did more damage than Kane’s tortures ever could. From the words, to the tone of voice, to the very look, she just knew how to break my heart and soul until it was nothing but shattered pieces. She was especially good at spotting the weaknesses and all the little things we take for granted from a single look before mercilessly picking it apart.

To give an example, she once noticed that I disliked tomatoes as I always left them on my plate every dinner. So, my mother decided she’d serve them for dinner one night. Of course, I couldn’t eat them, and, after she ordered me the third time and I still refused, she refused to give me anything to eat for the rest of the week. There were people starving in the world, she said. I was an ungrateful child, she said. I shouldn’t waste food. Wicked child!

It was this eye for detail that I was using to my advantage now as a demon. Oh, the irony.

My name called out, I made my way over to the void.

Smiling a sweet smile, I removed the long jacket I was wearing to reveal a school girl’s outfit. Not the skimpy, porno kind, but the genuine article. Black blazer, red and black pleated skirt and knee-high white socks, etc.

This void had had a thing for school girls. All his victims had been teenagers, his excuse being that they’d asked for it by tempting him, or they were so pretty and pure, he just couldn’t help himself. I could tell from the way said void was gazing at me that he liked what he saw.

I heard Paige scoff “hypocritical bitch” in the background. Yes, I suppose it did appear that way. However, what she failed to realize was that it was all part of the plan.

Here’s another lesson from my mother: Find what your victim likes, then  _ hurt _ them with it. The anguish it’ll cause will be ten times worse.

In this void’s case? They loved school girls but  _ HATED  _ the sound of cracking joints. It wasn’t in Kane’s report, but I’d noticed it when one of the demons had stretched. For a second a look of revulsion had crossed that void’s eyes. 

Time to get this show on the road.

Not taking my eyes off the void, I cracked my knuckles, a notable ‘pop’ ringing out.

The void stiffened.

I then entwined my fingers and cracked them too. The resulting pop sounded like a skeleton coming to life.

The void recoiled in obvious revulsion.

I then moved onto my neck. This finally garnered a reaction. “Stop that!” They snapped, noticeably irate. “Don’t  _ do  _ that! School girls shouldn’t--”

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you. I don’t speak asshole.” I interrupted.

Now that I had him where I wanted him, it was time to take this to the next level.

Smiling, I displayed my right hand to him, wiggling my fingers.

And then, one by one, methodically, coldly, I  _ broke _ every one of my digits. I pulled them back as far as they would go until they snapped, and then, I did the same to my wrist. It hurt, even worse than it would when human, but I’d learned a long time ago to deal with the pain. The void watched the whole time, horrified, looking like he was on the verge of being sick.

I had him crying like a little baby by the time I tore open my chest and started ripping out my ribcage, one bone at a time...

***

_ The last demon I recalled being so willing to (literally) break themselves for the sake of their craft was Dean Ambrose. _

_ He's quite the legend down here, one of the few students to study at the feet of Kane that would surpass him in sheer psychosis. There was nothing he wouldn't break, maim, lacerate, sever, or dismember to get a point across. His mental game is unsurpassed. _

_ So that he could find his counterbalance in the angel, Renee Young, was something of a surprise. Not that it was forbidden, but because...who knew he had such a tender heart under all that madness? _

_ But I digress. _

_ Every jaw in that room dropped, even Kane's. Pretty certain someone fainted. Regal beamed with pride. I smirked, beyond pleased for my pupil. _

_ And more than a little intrigued by that school uniform she was wearing. Could be a fun role-play sometime. _

_ A slow clap came from the corner, and began to grow steadily as others joined in, cheers and whoops. Teagan's stock was definitely rising. _

_ Good thing demons can heal pretty quickly. _

***

If not for the fact that blood and bone fragment was spilling from me, I would have taken a bow.

Paige was seething. I suppose (to her) this was me showing her up, rubbing it in her face. It really wasn’t. This was me ending a challenge that she started, as well as proving my point that, if she’d paid attention, she would have had this in the bag.

Really though, no matter what I did, Paige would take offense. She hadn’t liked me when I was a human she failed to corrupt and she liked me even less as a demon, jealous of how well I got on with the three main bosses. I couldn’t fault her on this, I was something of a favorite.

My wounds already in the process of healing, I made to leave - I wanted to go have some fun on Earth - however Regal halted me.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Teagan?”

I paused, confused. “Erm...I don’t think so?”

“Your prize, dear girl. Bloody amazing work there, I must say. I can’t wait to tell Dean Ambrose all about it.”

“It was nothing, really.” I smiled. “So, what’s the prize?”

“Anything you want. Consider it a bonus.”

I just blinked back. I had no idea what to ask for as I didn’t  _ want _ anything.

...No, that wasn’t true. There was something I wanted, however there was no way Regal could ever give it to me. No one could. It was…lost to me forever.

“I’ll get back to you on that one, Sir.” I said, a sad tint in my voice.

***

_ I could hear the shift in her voice. There was an answer on her tongue - her chosen prize. But she stopped herself. _

_ Everyone begins to leave the room, off to various forms of mischief. My first instinct is to pull her aside for a private conversation. However, I knew she wanted to get to Earth for a good time, so I let her be. Regal, on the other hand, stood next to me. “She's certainly grown by leaps and bounds, far surpassing expectations.” _

_ I nodded. “She is still troubled by something. Something she's convinced herself that she can't have.” _

_ “Give her time, my King. If anyone can help, it's you.” _

_ I hoped that was the case. _

***

Despite my intentions to enjoy myself on Earth, that’s not what ended up happening.

Rather, I paid a visit to my old hometown to spy on my parents. Though centuries had passed in Hell, only a year had gone by on Earth. The time difference was insane and still an aspect of my immortal life I was still getting used to.

From the shadows I followed my mother around, watching her as she went about her day.

For one filled with such Godliness and so respected by the Christian community, she sure was miserable. I couldn’t recall seeing her smile once, and as for her relationship with my father, the less said the better. A loveless marriage if ever I saw one. I’d feel sorry for her if not for the fact that the woman was a monster.

Come night time, I jumped into her dreams to talk with her. It was the perfect time, really. Under the influence of sleep, one's sense of reason and inhibitions were gone. I wouldn’t just be talking with my mother, I’d be talking directly to her subconscious. The  _ real _ her.

“Don’t you want to know what happened to Teagan? Don’t you ever think of her?” I whispered to her, hiding myself. “Your daughter is dead, Abigail. She died alone, unhappy and unloved. Her body is buried in an unmarked grave, under a lonely stone. Do you even  _ care? _ ”

And what was my mother’s reply?

_ “I have no daughter.” _

It wasn’t enough for her to abuse me, then chuck me out and leave me to the mercies of the world. No, she went and  _ erased _ me completely. There are no photos of me in the house, and all my possessions have been disposed of. No one would ever know Teagan Dunn lived there and the life she led…

_ I’m a demon now, I shouldn’t care. So...why can’t I stop crying? _

I fled back to Hell - my  _ real _ home - and went to find Finn, desperate to talk with him.

Depending on how this conversation went, this might very well be the last time we ever talked.

 


	27. Maybes and What-Ifs, pt. 4

_ “Finn...can we talk?” _

_ Teagan stood in the doorway of my chambers, distraught and shaking.  _

_ I welcomed her in. Her timing was never anything to complain about, as she’s found me in various states of dress (except sans clothing) before the dynamic changed.  _

_ But this concerned me all the more, and I was certain it had to do with her visit to Earth. _

_ I directed her to the kitchen table. “I was finishing dinner.” I turned the burner low on my lasagna soup, shut the oven off, and took the seat next to her. “Talk to me, Teagan.”  _

_ ***  _

I stared blankly ahead of me, my eyes red-rimmed. Though I must have appeared composed to Finn, on the inside I was a tempest of rage and sorrow and hate. Every negative emotion I’d buried deep inside me regarding my mother, and thought I’d let go with my transformation, was stewing away, consuming me. 

_ She’s evil.  _ **_Evil._ ** _ I won’t let her get away with it. I’m going to make her suffer like I suffered.  _

“I...I went to the town I used to live in today. Saw my mother and decided I’d have a little heart-to-heart with her in her dream. Ask her if she was aware that her only child is now a corpse. Know what she said?” My hands bunched into fists, the nails digging into the skin until they bled. “ _ I. Have. No. Daughter. _ ”  

Exhaling, I turned my eyes to Finn’s concerned ones. “I came because...I wanted to see you one last time. I wanted to tell you how much I cared for you and how happy you made me.” 

I paused, gathering myself, then continued with steely determination, “And I also came out of respect for you, Demon King. To give you fair warning.” 

*** 

_ No. No, she wasn't going to do what I think she…  _

_ This stops now. _

_ “You're insane if you believe I’m going to let you walk out of here.” I gave her a hard stare. “I see your mind, Teagan. I know you better than you could ever know yourself. And what you’re planning to do? I won’t let it happen. Not until you can give me two damn good reasons why. Why this has to happen, and why you came here thinking I wouldn’t stop you.” _

*** 

I smiled coldly. Yes, he’d guessed it. “...Two reasons? I’ll give you three.” 

“One. I very much doubt what I’m planning to do will cause a negative impact - on this world  _ or _ the afterlife. If anything, I’ll be doing everyone a favour. Plus, I don’t see her living for very long once I’m through with her.”   

“Two. It’s justice. I refuse to accept that that woman is going to carry on comfortably living her life until she dies of old age, while  _ I _ froze to death in the gutter. It’s not enough that she’s bound for Hell, I need her to pay  _ now _ . I want her to be proof that bad people get what’s coming to them in life!” 

“And three? It’ll make me happy, Finn. I’m not saying that I’m unhappy, I just...I just am. But this? This will make me fucking  _ ecstatic. _ ”  

“Let me tell you what I’m going to do, Finn.” I explained. “I’m going to go back to where my mother is. I’m going to wake her up. Then, I’m going to commit the unforgivable crime by revealing  _ everything _ to her - how her daughter is now a demon, how there is a Hell and she’s going there, how God has left the building. And then I’ll walk away. I’ll leave her to live out the rest of her miserable life knowing it’s been one big, fat fucking lie and she abused and caused her only child’s death because of it.  _ That’s _ what I’m going to do!” 

*** 

_ I sat silent, taking everything in, processing. And I didn’t like any of it. I had heard enough.  _

_ “You done?”  _

_ Teagan looked at me quizzically.  _

_ “ _ **_Good._ ** _ ” My tone was slicing, frigid, and especially terrifying.  _

_ Because it wasn’t  _ **_me_ ** _ speaking. Bálor and I had the same thought at the same time. And he was making himself known. _

_ He rose from the table. “ _ **_Because that plan is complete shit. And I’ll tell you why in three reasons._ **

_ “ _ **_One, what you’re about to do_ ** _ will  _ **_cause a major impact on this world. There's a faction of angels already looking for good reason to take us out. There’s eyes and ears every-fucking-where and all of them are trained for even the slightest reason to go to war._ ** _ ”  _

_ “ _ **_Two, this isn’t ‘justice’. It’s revenge, pure and simple. And you know what I’ve told you about that. It never ends the pain, never heals anything, never brings you peace OR happiness. It won’t undo a damn thing that’s happened to you._ ** _ ”  _

_ “ _ **_Three, you do this...that little spark inside, the one bit of light in your soul that you kept for yourself? There is no holding on to it. It’ll die. Completely snuffed out. Nothing you can do. The very essence of your humanity, gone! Mom wins again, Teagan!_ ** _ ”  _

_ The voice had grown louder, more primal. We had also broken the back of a chair in our fiery grip, but we didn't care. “ _ **_Oh, but here’s the bonus, the fucking coup de grace._ ** _ ”  _

_ We lean in, pulling her in by the neck so she can't escape our gaze. “ _ **_We_ ** **_have to be the one to kill you,_ ** _ ” we choked out. “ _ **_We_ ** **_will be the one that strips your soul from your body, tastes every sin, every memory that you ever had. Hear your screams as we drag your essence out by force. And then rip your lifeless corpse to fucking shreds. And we can’t do that! Don’t you get it?! We...can’t…!_ ** _ ”  _

_ He stopped himself and, releasing her, stormed out of the kitchen and crashed onto the couch, trying to calm down and regain control. But not before punching a massive hole in the wall. _

*** 

Finn had hit the nail right on the head. None of what I wanted to do was right. Any happiness I would feel from the act would be fleeting. After that there’d only be emptiness. The deed was done, but it was a hollow victory. It would be just as much my loss as my mother’s. 

And as for losing my humanity…yes, it would indeed die. That last remnant of the human Teagan Dunn would disappear from within me forever because, as well as overflowing with the milk of human kindness, she was also a good human being who tried to see the best in people. Despite the abuse, the old me would  _ never _ have entertained the notion of killing of my mother. She wouldn’t have even liked the thought of them suffering for all eternity in Hell, for God’s sake!

I knew that. I think I always knew that and that’s why I really came here. This wasn’t a warning or a goodbye, it was a cry for help. I  _ wanted _ Finn to stop me from crossing that line. 

Hand on my throat, I tried to keep it together. 

But then a memory came back to me. The first time I ever met Finn. The human me, broken in every sense of the word, sobbing on the ground and begging for death. That poor girl who, from cradle to grave, knew nothing but a life of pain and sadness...only ever hated herself in the end. She never stopped loving her parents. She held no ill-will to them or others…

_ “I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m sorry, I just don’t have it in me. I don’t like to see others suffering.” _

Tears pooled in my eyes.

In the end, I didn’t become a demon because I wanted to be one. I said yes because I knew that if I asked Finn to honour his word and send me to Oblivion, it’d hurt him deeply. He tried to hide it, but I could see it in his eyes how much he didn’t want to grant my request. I hadn’t wanted that, so I chose to become a demon and make him and the others happy. 

I broke down sobbing. 

_ This isn’t what I wanted! _

***

_ I don’t talk about the last time I cried.  _

_ Not because I don't remember it, but because it’s no one’s fucking business. And it isn’t because I’m ashamed to feel, either.  One of the few valuable lessons I held on to from my dad.  _

_ I know this wasn’t a choice Teagan had committed to because she wanted it. She did it so she wouldn’t hurt me.  _

_ It was the first time in ages that I’d let tears fall.  _

_ For the longest time I wondered why. Why would she do that? It was a question I never sought the answer for, scared to death of what it meant, afraid of ending up here.  _

_ Yet here we are.  _

_ Tears fell from my eyes as my anger cooled. Bálor stewed in his frustration for a while. _

_ Teagan wasn’t here to warn me of her actions; it was a cry for help. She had no intention of doing what she said she would. That was a relief, but a new realization took its place. _

_ Now I was certain she knew how I felt. _

_ And that? Far more terrifying than I wanted to admit. _

*** 

I have but two regrets, two things I wish with all my might I could change.

The first was that I wanted to be alive and human again. Or, to be exact, I wanted the life I never got to live. Sure being a demon had its perks - everything was enhanced, no ageing, no illness, powers at my disposal - but it wasn’t the same. 

Unfortunately, this was impossible. Even if I wasn’t a demon now, once dead stays dead.  

And the other was that I never got any closure with my mother. I never got to confront the bitch and tell her to her face what an evil hypocrite she was. To make her feel some semblance of shame or guilt for her actions, to have her know that I was better off and happier without her. 

And that was impossible, too. If I exposed myself to her, I’d be killed. Anyone else and she’d just deny I ever existed. 

Only two things in this whole world I really wanted and I couldn’t have either one of them.

...Well, that’s not entirely true. There was another thing that made me happy, even if just for a while. He was currently sitting on the couch in his living room. 

Picking myself up off the floor, I made my way over to Finn. 

“I’m sorry.” I apologised. “I-I don’t know what came over me. Thank you for talking some sense into me before I made the biggest mistake of my life.” 

I sighed and looked down at my hands. Then, in a quiet voice. “...I didn’t know you cared about me that much. I mean, I knew you liked me, but...I never…” I paused, gulping. “I thought, if you  _ had _ to kill me, you’d be sad for a little while, but then you’d get over it and forget about me.” 

*** 

_ I scoffed, swallowing at the lump in my throat. “Then you haven’t been paying attention.” My focus, though sensitive and red-rimmed from my tears, maintained on the ceiling.  _

_ “The moment I met you, I was fucked. I knew you would get to me, and I still let it happen.”  _

_ My breath shuddered out of my lungs. “Heh, it’s funny. I thought if I set clear, impassable boundaries, it would be easier. You’d move on and raise hell just like the others, do us all proud, and I could just let go…and then you showed up into my office asking that I be your Master. So much for boundaries.”  _

_ I scrubbed my hand over my face, but I didn't look away from the ceiling. It was too raw, too vulnerable a moment. “When I said that you have me, it was never  _ **_just_ ** _ as a teacher or a Master.” _

_ “By then, I knew it was too late. That even if you asked me to send you to Oblivion, I couldn't do it. And if I did...it would... I wouldn’t be…I can't forget you, Teagan. I don’t want to lose what keeps me human.” There's the tears welling up again. _

*** 

There were so many things I wanted to open up to Finn. So many things I’d been dying to tell him since we started our little arrangement and grown closer. 

Where did I even  _ begin? _

“I’m scared, Finn.” I confessed, voice breaking. “I’m scared of what I’m capable of. I’m scared of losing myself completely. When I decided to become a demon, I had so many promises I swore I’d never break. If I had to punish a void, I’d do it, but I wouldn’t  _ enjoy _ it. I definitely wasn’t going to ever eat a soul. No matter what happened, I’d stay true to myself. ...I have broken all of them.” I held a hand over my heart. “All of them except one. I still have a heart. I can at least say I’m not a monster just yet.” 

“And it’s because of you.” I whispered. “If not for you, Finn, I would be gone. In every sense of the word.”

Reaching out, I held his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. “You make me happy. When I’m with you, I feel human again, too. Like I can be the real me, the me I  _ should _ have been. You make the light in my soul shine.” 

As if to prove my point, the light in the center of my black soul shone then. It was faint, like a candle in the wind, but it was still there.

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his. “You are my everything. I love you.” 

If Finn was fucked the first moment he met me, then I was the same. From the very second, he appeared before me in the hell that was my existence and showed me kindness - kindness I’d never been shown before - I was his. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, just to see him smiling and happy.

Even become a demon to spare him the pain of taking an innocent life.

*** 

_ I closed my eyes as she spoke and leaned against me. And, for once, I couldn’t speak. It was too much.  _

_ All I could do was to let my actions respond for me. _

_ I rested my palm against her cheek, wiping away residual wetness with my thumb. With my other hand, I pulled her in by the waist until I could rest my head against her heart and held her close.  _

_ It felt like being home.  _

_ In a rough whisper, I said the only thing I could vocalize: “I love you.” _

*** 

Tears fell from my eyes, but that was okay, because this time they were happy tears. 

Finally, I'd found it. The thing I'd been searching for ever since I was born: my happiness. After centuries of dancing on the knife’s edge, not caring if I lived or fell off and died, I had a reason to stay, something to rejoice over. 

And that reason was Finn. 

I loved him and, amazingly, he loved me. As long as we had each other in this dark world, we’d be alright. Not human like we wished to be, but close enough. We’d be each other’s light. 

“I won’t leave, I won’t die, I promise.” I said, cradling his head. “So long as you want me, I’ll be there, by your side.” 

*** 

_ I pulled back just enough to look up at her. She was, literally, a sight for my sore eyes. One I could look at forever. _

_ “There will never be a day that I don’t want you,” I replied softly. I wanted to say more, but...well, actions are louder.  _

_ I captured her lips with my own, tasting the salt and sadness we shared, knowing I would gladly taste it again as long as it was with her. _

*** 

My full lips softened under his own, the sweetest taste I’d savoured in a very long time. How ironic that, despite the rough and sometimes violent sessions and sex we engaged in, our kisses were always the most tenderest of affairs. 

Behind me, I can smell the lasagna soup permeating the air of the apartment. A reminder that he was just about to have his dinner when I stopped by.

 (I wouldn’t dare tell him, but, in my brief moment of madness, when I truly was considering committing the unforgivable crime, I thought to myself ‘ _ So what if he misses dinner? He’ll be eating my soul by the end of the night, so it’s not like he’ll go hungry. _ ’)

Like I told Finn, sometimes I scared even myself. 

I pulled back, unwilling, a hand still resting on his cheek. “You should go eat dinner otherwise it’ll burn. Want me to go or can I stay?” 

*** 

_ Her hand on my face was soft, warm, calming. I leaned in, turning my head to kiss the palm. “Please stay?” _

*** 

I smiled. Gladly. There was nowhere else I’d rather be than here. 

*

“They’re going to talk, you know. All the other demons, I mean.” I told Finn later. We’re back on the couch, me sitting, and him lying down with his head against my lap. I affectionately stroked his brunette tufts of hair. “I can name a few who aren’t going to be happy about this one bit.” 

*** 

_ “Fuck them,” I replied without hesitation. She snickered.  _

_ “It’s not like it's unacceptable here. It’s my choice, and many will be all for it. The ones that aren’t were probably jealous they didn’t get to me first. As if I wouldn’t see through them.”  _

_ I rumbled contentedly as she stroked my hair. _

*** 

I smiled. “If you’re okay with going public, then I’m okay with it. Besides, I don’t care either.” I stuck my tongue out impishly, “Of course, you already knew that.”

My “come what may” attitude I’d taken into the torture chamber as a human had become enhanced and twisted into one of my defining traits as a demon. In stark contrast to my human life where I was constantly tormented by the thought of being judged and consequences, I didn’t care one iota as a demon. I was the walking embodiment of the song ‘I’ve Got No Strings’ from Pinocchio. It was very liberating, but, on the other, very dangerous. I was like a balloon in the hand of a child - at any second I could be let go and I’d float away, lost forever.

That was one of the reasons I’d gone to Finn when I did. As well as needing an outlet for my desires, I needed someone to ground me. Because, if I wasn’t, I would walk right into the danger zone without a second thought (I hadn’t been joking when I challenged Kane to give me three strikes that day in the meeting.) 

It was incredibly relieving and wonderful to now have something concrete to live for. 

“Regal is going to be so smug.” I scoffed. He tried his best to hide it, but that man was our very own cheerleader, I swear. “And Kane...well, you leave Kane to me. I know things about him.” 

For the record, I wouldn’t actually blackmail my mentor. I just liked dangling my knowledge in front of his face and seeing his reaction. How else did the rest of Hell think I got away with as much as I did? 

*** 

_ “Contrary to his big red monstrous exterior, he's not the heartless bastard he wants everyone to think he is. You didn’t hear it from me, but he was a blubbering mess at Dean and Renee’s wedding.” I smirked.  _

_ “And Regal saw it coming all along - of course he’ll be smug. It’s practically his default setting.” _

*** 

“That or disgust and contempt. What was it he said again? Oh right, ‘Humans disgust me. Vile creatures.’ Classic.”

For a while, the two of us just enjoyed the tender moment taking place. Quite frankly, I would gladly spend forever like this, having Finn use my lap as a pillow, and doting on him. Such moments were a rarity in Hell.

“I wish I’d met you as a human.” I confessed. “I think a lot about the life I might have known if I’d survived and met you. I think...I think you would have made me very happy.” 

*** 

_ “I think I would have. You know, if I didn’t develop an insane obsession with your soul first,” I pointed out with a grin. “Demons tend to do that.” _

_ Then I looked up at her, open and honest. “But I would have spent every day on Earth making you the happiest in the world because you deserved it so much. And I would have loved you just the same because... it’s so easy to. What’s not to love about you?” _

***

I laughed about the comment about demonic obsession. “Trust me, I know! Look at Kane!” 

I didn’t realize how much Kane had coveted my soul for Hell until after I properly got to know him. All the demons I met in life, from Paige to Paul Bearer (who, consequently was also Kane’s father), were all Kane’s doing. What had started out as a standard acquisition (“ _ Go tempt this human soul, they’re ripe for the picking. _ ”) had turned into, well, an obsession for him when I stubbornly refused to give into temptation (“ _ Why does she keep resisting? What will it take to break her?! _ ”) 

To give an idea of how much it drove him mad, I was homeless for a year, which, in Hell, amounts to  _ one thousand, two hundred and seventy seven, point five years. _

Is it any wonder he lost his shit the day he found out I died and went to Heaven?

“Awww.” I blushed, touched at Finn’s words. “Well, for what it’s worth, I would have loved you just as much. Maybe even more so. You would have been the sun to my moon. My soul would have shone like the brightest star for you. And only you.” 

***

_ I chuckled. “Listen to us. What a pair we make. I can’t help but feel that I wish we’d had this sooner. Still, I can't complain about how it happened because you’re here.” _

*** 

My expression fell slightly. “I’m sorry again. I have no excuse other than that I temporarily lost my mind there.”

“...You have no idea how close I came to losing everything tonight. So close it was like a metaphorical coin toss. If I had stayed a little longer, or heard a little more...I would have shown up on your door telling you the deed was already done instead.” 

It was terrifying, really, how close this evening came to ending in tragedy. While I often found myself questioning the choices I made, both in life and in death, in this case, I knew I’d definitely made the right one. 

*** 

_ I sat upright and turned to face her. “You didn’t. And I’m glad for it.” _

_ Grazing my fingers along her cheek, I added, “I hate that she could do so much harm and still sleep at night, just as much as you do. But I’m also glad you didn’t give in right away, that you came to me first.” _

*** 

My fingertips came to rest against Finn’s hand. I smiled warmly. “Yes, me too.” 

I stayed the night with Finn and, come the next day, walked hand in hand with him into Hell. Finn said he wanted to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind the kind of relationship we had. 

Well, the message was received loud and clear: I was the Demon King’s Queen.  

***

_ Well, soon to be. There was no doubt in my mind that Teagan was the one I wanted to rule by my side. She of the unbreakable soul was every bit my match.  _

_ Regal was thoroughly amused. Kane kept making fake gagging noises, but was low-key pleased.  _

_ And those few who didn’t approve? They made themselves known right away.  _

_ Nothing we couldn’t handle.  _

_ But before we make this official, I have a gift to prepare for my love. One she would be most delighted by. It isn’t ready yet, but it will be very soon. _


	28. Maybes and What-Ifs, Pt. 5

The night we officially became a couple, Finn and I agreed that, at least once a week, we’d escape Hell and spend the day on Earth, taking it easy and pretending to be humans. No punishing, no soul-eating, no acquisitions, just normalcy and nostalgia.

Hey…’When in Rome’, as they say. 

Problem was you could take the demon out of Hell, but you couldn’t take Hell out of the demon. 

There were so many voids. Everywhere I turned, nothing but black souls. 

That was another perk of being a demon, you could automatically see people for who they really are. No matter how nice they appeared on the outside, their soul gave them away. Which was great and all, but, on this occasion, I really didn’t want the reminder that I was a demon. 

I stared, irate, into the crowds of people in the shopping centre. “Look at all these voids. And yet  _ we’re _ the bad guys for dealing with them. Reckon Heaven would change their tune if we went on strike?” 

*** 

_ “Doubtful. Their heads are so far up their asses, they wear their intestines as necklaces.”  _

_ Gruesome image, but true.  _

_ I point at a couple of children playing nearby, souls full of light. “I like watching them play. Little balls of sunshine in a dark world. In all my years I've yet to see anyone born with a black soul. They always start out just like this.” _

*** 

“I wish they could stay that way forever.” I whispered, watching them with a sad look in my eyes. “I wish...voids could be redeemed. That the system wasn’t so fucked up that the only way to get out of Hell is by getting in or by being extinguished. I don’t know, maybe it’s the human in me talking, but it’d be nice if there was an end to the suffering. After all, every void was someone’s pure child once. Something made them what they are, maybe something can change them back? Maybe their souls could be, I don’t know, purified?” 

I scoffed under my breath. “I sound like such an idiot, huh?”

*** __

 

_ I smiled fondly. “You sound like me. And you’re not wrong. They say that, before God departed, he was working out a way to do just that. But what we all realized is that it's still up to the humans with the desire to change. They can honestly be their own heroes. They would just rather have someone (or something else) be their champion instead of realizing their own worth, their own power.”  _

_ Looking at the children, I considered aloud, “It isn’t too late for them. And they’ll figure it out.” _

*** 

Truer words were never spoken. “I’ll never stop hoping.” I nodded. 

The atmosphere having turned sombre, I smiled at Finn and tried to lighten the mood. “Hey, how about we go see a movie? They have a pretty good selection out right now and, seeing as it’s midday during the week, it won’t be busy.” 

I held Finn’s arm to me. “If we’re really lucky, it might even be just the two of us.” 

*** 

_ “Hmmm. Us in an empty theater…”  _

_ Low enough for only her ears, I playfully accused, “Sounds to me like you’ve got wicked things in mind, lovely.”  _

_ And just to be a tease, I gasped as though scandalized and added, “What if the usher catches us?” _

*** 

I slapped him playfully on the arm. “You, sir, have a filthy mind. I was merely suggesting that it’d be very romantic if it was just the two of us together, watching the silver screen. In the dark. Right at the back. Where  _ no one _ can see us.” 

“And besides, if anyone’s going to get caught, it’ll be me. Knowing you, you’ll put your Demon King power to good use and make yourself invisible. Completely unfair.” 

The decision made, we headed over the cinema in the shopping centre. 

*** 

_ As we made our way to the cinema, I couldn't resist clarifying a few things. “For the record, love. If I go invisible, you're coming with me... probably in more than one way.”  _

_ I shot her a wink before zooming to the next point. “Second, how very  _ **_dare_ ** _ you?! Last time I checked, you  _ **_loved_ ** _ my filthy mind, especially since yours is as bad as mine. And third?” _

_ I stopped her right at the ticket booth. “I love this idea.” Then I stole a kiss before we chose a film, just to drive her nuts. _

*** 

It didn’t take much to cause my mouth to drop open, but Finn’s comment about him going invisible? He rendered me speechless for a second there. 

_ Oh, this is going to be  _ **_fun_ ** _. _

After some consideration, we found ourselves torn between two movies. One was a romance, a rom-com affair, whilst the other was a horror film, a good old slasher. Both looked quite appealing to pass (and fuck) the time away with. 

“I can’t choose. Rock, paper, scissors? I’ll be romance, you be horror.” 

*** 

_ “Fair enough.”  _

_ Each of us balled up a fist and seated it in our palm, ready to settle it.  _

_ “On three…one, two, three, shoot!”  _

_ I went with Rock. _

*** 

I grinned. “Paper trumps all! Romance it is!” 

I didn’t have high hopes for the film, but, considering the frisky mood Finn and I were currently in, did it really matter? And besides, there was a special kind of fun that came from watching ‘So bad it’s good’ movies and making snarky comments. 

Disappointment set in, however, when I saw a group of four women already sitting in the middle row. And, if their black souls were anything to go by, they were voids to boot. 

_ Dammit, I was really hoping it’d be just Finn and I… _

I quickly got over it. Just because they were voids, didn’t mean they weren’t here to enjoy the film. Plus, this was the cinema, other moviegoers showing up was bound to happen. Just meant Finn and I would have to be a bit more discreet, should the mood strike and we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves (Who am I kidding? It would happen).

Popcorn in hand, I led us to the top row of seats. 

*** 

_ We found our seats in what would most assuredly be the darkest area of the theater when the lights went down.  _

_ It wasn’t empty like we hoped, but then I was extremely good at discretion.  _

_ Teagan would just have to keep  _ **_very_ ** _ quiet. _

_ This was going to be delicious. _

*** 

Plopping down in my seat - we chose the ones right in the top corner, near the wall - I drank some of my coke and eagerly waited for the film to get started. 

“Oh my God, did you get a look at that guy? Talk about hot. Like fuck me, am I right, girls?” One of the women said, not even trying to keep her voice down. “He looks like a model. You think he’s a model?” 

“Dawn, you have a boyfriend, stop being such a slut!” Another of the women said. “And totally. He’s too handsome not to be.” 

“What he’s doing with  _ her _ ? Since when could a girl like her ever land a date with someone like him. I mean, I’m ten times prettier than her. Where’s my super hot boyfriend?” 

“Chill, Samantha. She’s probably his sister.” 

“Or a dogfight.” 

“Wait, a what? What’s that? Laura? Samantha? You know what Jessica is talking about?”

Jessica answered, and I was able to hear the smirk on her face from her voice alone. “A dogfight is when a group of men bet to see who can bring the ugliest date. That’s probably what he’s doing.” 

The group cackled. “Jessica, you’re such a bitch!” 

...Well, I can’t say I wasn’t surprised. Voids are gonna void. It was just a good thing I wasn’t my old human self or their bitchy comments might have really gotten to me. As a demon, I took comfort in the fact that I could tear them all to shreds if I was so inclined

 

I decided to let it slide so long as they shut up once the movie started. 

*** 

_ While I was prepared to send a horde of scorpions their way, I decided to focus on my movie date. Far more worthwhile than the gathering of hens below us. We talked amongst ourselves about anything we thought of.  _

_ Being a demon has its perks. Being the Demon King? More so.  _

_ But adding those things to an adventurous night at the cinema? Now that was a recipe for all sorts of wicked earthly delights.  _

_ And Teagan, being ever the happy submissive (and occasional power bottom if I teased her a bit too much), was game for anything. The present company was but a minor inconvenience to a pretty straightforward concept, but me?  _

_ I'm damn good at improv. _

*** 

After what felt like an hour of adverts and trailers - didn’t have to put up with this with Netflix - but actually only lasted twenty minutes at best, the lights finally dimmed and the movie officially started. 

_ Finally! _

Without further ado, I put my drink of coke down and climbed onto Finn’s lap until I was straddling him. 

“So,” I whispered into his ear. “What do you want to do first, Master? Besides me, that is.” 

*** 

_ I rolled my hips slightly, just enough to brush against her heated center, and watched her bite her lip as my hand slipped under her shirt and fondled a plush breast. Matching her whisper, I replied, “I can't think of anything better...of course, I'm curious: can you be a good girl and be very quiet? If you can, I'll let you come.” _

*** 

“I’ll guess we’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?” I smiled back.

Unzipping Finn’s fly, I reached my hand down into his pants and wrapped my fingers around his already hardened cock. I quickly freed it from its denim confines and began fondling and pumping it. 

It wouldn’t take long to get him fully ready to take me…

Suddenly, one of the girl’s - Samantha, I think it was - shrieked particularly loudly, the noise piercing through the air. I could already foresee many more to come throughout the film, she seemed the type.  

I cringed. Having heightened senses was great and all, but, in cases like these where there was a lot of loud noise, it was a real pain in the ass.  

_ Forget about them, Teagan. Focus on you and Finn. _ I reminded myself. 

***

_ She wanted to play that way? I was prepared.  _

_ My fingers crept under her skirt, along her inner thigh until I found my favorite sweet spot. I tickled and teased, feeling her squirm and move to get them inside of her.  _

_ I pulled her down for a deep, breathtaking kiss. Tongues danced and entwined, matching the rhythm of my fingers pumping in and out. _

_ The overgrown children in the lower seats cut in every now and then, but Teagan was all I could - all I wanted to - see. _

*** 

My breath hitched as Finn’s fingers dove deep into my core, exploring and pleasuring me. He was really quite intent on getting me to make a sound. How cruel. I expected nothing less from the Demon King. 

Right now, not even I knew if I’d be able to remain quiet. I was quite excited to find out- 

Suddenly the sound of a mobile phone ringing filled the air. Even worse, one of them - Jessica - went ahead and answered it. 

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t help but snap my head to glare at them.  _ Really? Fucking really? _ I will never understand people like this. If you’re going to see a movie, put your damn phone on silent mode! People around you - yes, even the ones getting up to naughty business - don't want to hear it.

_ No. Don’t sink to their level. Just ignore them, they’re background noise. _

Turning back to Finn, I resumed the passionate kiss we’d been having just seconds ago. Our lips fused back together and his tongue resumed wrestling with my own. 

And then the talking reached truly unbearable levels. Whooping, laughter that could cause glass to crack, inane comments served only to distract from the movie rather than add to its enjoyment. I tried to block it out, but it became so loud that it was all I could hear. 

_ This ends now. _

*** 

_ There's a special place in Hell for people who are rude and obnoxious enough to talk aloud during a film.  _

_ At this rate, I’m considering an additional wing for people who are rude and obnoxious enough to talk aloud during a film while two people are trying to quietly  _ **_fuck_ ** _.  _

_ I break the kiss, and see the glare in her eyes mirroring my own.  _

_ As much as I hate pausing sex - especially semi-public sex with Teagan - for  _ **_anything_ ** _ , this couldn't continue.  _

_ Quickly we collect ourselves, fixing clothing and patting down hair, letting the heat simmer to a low boil, and we go down to handle business. _

*** 

Unlike other demons, I didn’t have many acquisitions to my name. I was not in the business of corrupting innocent souls down the path of darkness. The angels couldn’t get their head around it, suspecting I had ulterior motives, but the truth was I was more than happy to let them claim a soul. There needed to be more good in the world, after all. 

Rather, my forte was dealing with the worst of the worst. The serial killers, molesters, child and animal abusers, and the unrepentant who would only cause more pain and suffering if left to their own devices. If I attacked a human soul, you can be damn sure they deserved their hellish fate. 

I would not pretend that these girls were in that category. True, their souls were as black as tar, but they were also young and with their whole life ahead of them. There was still time for them to change their ways.

So, I decided to give them a chance. Three chances. If they still didn’t listen, then they’d just have to suffer the consequences. I may be far more merciful and nicer than your average demon, but the Demon King did not suffer fools gladly. 

“Let me try and get them to stop.” I muttered to Finn as we made our way to their row. “Remember, this is our day off. No demon business.” 

We came to a stop before the four girls. 

“Hey, listen, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could keep it down a little? We’re all trying to have fun here, but you’re getting a bit too noisy. It’s really distracting.” I smiled, far more polite than I had any reason to be. 

“How about you fuck off?” The one with dyed blonde hair - Jessica - sneered. 

“Yeah, stop being such a fucking killjoy, we’re just having some fun.” The one called Dawn protested. 

“Honestly, can you believe this bitch? Where does she get off?” Laura glared at me.

 As for the one named Samantha, she batted her eyelashes at Finn and patted the empty seat next to her. “Hey, hot stuff, how about you ditch your date and come have some fun with some real women?” She winked. “You won’t regret it.” 

“One.” I stated firmly.

 *** 

_ I moved to stand by her side, fighting the urge to bust heads. “Look, ladies,” I begin with teeth-gritting politeness. “We're here to enjoy ourselves, just like you. It's difficult to hear the film when there's a lot of talking going on. So, a lower volume would be great.”  _

_ And, as an added bonus to Samantha, “And thanks but no thanks - I have a real woman right here.” I interlaced my fingers with Teagan's. “She's everything I could ever need.” _

*** 

A truly ugly look came over Samantha’s face then and she turned away and muttered, “Your loss, pussy.” 

I could hear her thoughts as plain as day. ‘ _ Yeah fucking right. As if he’d settle for a Big Mac when he’s got a steak right here. He’s just pretending to be a good boyfriend. I bet the second she’s out the room, he won’t be able to keep his hands off of us. _ ’

Jessica, who was clearly on something, didn’t even try to hide what she thought. “I think you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. Honestly, aren’t you embarrassed to be seen out in public with  _ that? _ ” 

I felt Finn stiffen next to me and curled my fingers around his to soothe him.  _ Easy, I’ve got this. No killing.  _

“The comments you’re making are seriously out of order, especially considering my boyfriend and I have done or said nothing to deserve them.” I shot back. “Look, we didn’t come here to argue with you. All we want is to just enjoy the movie, so could you  _ please _ just be quiet?”   

“Erm, excuse me?  _ You’re _ the one who started this by interrupting us. If you didn’t want an argument, you should have minded your own fucking business, you stuck up bitch!” Dawn argued back. “Like, GOD, get a life! We’re just having a laugh, maybe you should try it, too.”

My head snapped to Laura who took out a lighter and lit up a cigarette along with Jessica.

“Put that out.” I ordered, my anger rising. “You’re not allowed to smoke in here and I do not want to be breathing that shit in.” 

Laura inhaled and then blew a puff a smoke in my face. It stung my eyes. “Make me.”

“Two.” I growled. These girls were really starting to try my patience. Didn’t they realise that I was the only one stopping Finn from doling out infernal judgement on them? I wanted to resolve this as peacefully as possible, but they seemed hellbent (hah!) on making sure that didn’t happen. 

*** 

_ Can we get to three already? I understand Teagan is attempting to be merciful. I love that about her with every cell in my being. _

_ But Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off, sexually pent-up Demon King. Which, incidentally, Teagan enjoys. _

_ I whispered in her ear, “I’ve already locked the doors. We have about ten minutes until the usher decides to come through again. Say the word.” _

*** 

I gritted my teeth. This was our day off. A day where we got to pretend, however briefly, that we were human again. A day not spent dealing with voids in any shape or form, or the going-ons in Hell.  _ Why were these bitches trying to ruin things? I don’t want to kill them, goddammit! _

“Hey, why do you keep counting? Do you realise how retarded you sound?” Dawn sniggered. “Like, what the fuck?” 

“I’m counting how many strikes you have. You see, once I get to three, I’m going to give Finn the go ahead to end you guys.” I stated quite frankly. “I really don’t want it to have to come to that. So, I’m only going to say this one last time: Put out the cigarette, and  _ shut the fuck up. _ ” 

I smiled sweetly. “So, what’s it going to be?” 

Silence. Then Laura, after looking to her at the friends, stubbed the cigarette out on the chair. 

Feeling immensely satisfied, I turned away to lead Finn back to our seats, confident the group of women wouldn’t be causing us problems anymore. 

I could hear the women muttering under their breaths… 

“Let’s do it. We’re not going to take that lying down, right?” That’s Laura.

“Yes, do it! I can’t wait to see her face!” Samantha.

“What do you think Dawn? Should I?” Jessica. 

“Definitely.” And Dawn.

“Hey, cunt!” I heard Jessica yell out.

Sighing, I turned back to face them. Girls like this always had to have the final word. Fine, if it’d shut them up- 

My eyes widened as I suddenly felt acid thrown in my face. 

*** 

_ This was it. _

_ This was the night these bitches died. _

_ They came and gathered around to see the damage their drugged out cohort had done.  _

_ Big mistake. _

_  “Your little girlfriend is fucked up now. But you still got a chance with the four of us. And you can do whatever you like,” Dawn teased as the others laughed in despicable agreement. _

_ Teagan sat and covered her face, screaming.  I stared them down icily.  _

_ “She was telling the truth, ladies,” I began. “I really was resisting the urge to send you horrible trolls to Hell. But now…” _

_ The lights flickered.  _

_ “... you've tried to destroy what's mine…”  _

_ The temperature in the room increased.  _

_ “...but luckily, she's impossible to break.” _

_ Teagan's screams turned to wild, psychotic laughter as she revealed her perfectly clear, unmarred face to the four increasingly terrified women.  _

_ I spoke as ger face turned into an eerie calmness as her eyes flash a fiery orange-gold. “ _ **_You_ ** _ four, on the other hand…” _

_ My eyes flashed blood red. _

_...are absolutely  _ **_fucked_ ** _.” _

*** 

Most of the demons in Hell referred to me as Teagan the Incorruptible or Teagan the Unbreakable One, for obvious reasons. 

But they also called me Teagan the Merciful.

I was probably the nicest demon one could ever hope to meet. Unlike others, I didn’t go out of my way to do harm. I was nice, I was respectful. Even when antagonised, I remained polite, preferring the non-violent route. I only ate souls when I was forced to and, when it came to punishing voids in Hell, I avoided physical torture. It took a lot for someone to anger me enough that I saw red and went on the attack.

But, when I did, the punishment I rained down on the ones responsible was unrelenting and brutal. I would not stop until I was sure they regretted their actions to their very being. The almost-committed unforgivable crime to my mother was proof enough of that.

Finn and I stood beside one another and stared down the four super stupid and soon about to be super dead girls. 

“Ho...How? I threw fucking acid in your face!” Jessica demanded.

 “What are you? Is this some kind of a trick or something?” Dawn looked around the cinema. “Are we on some secret game show or something? See how scared you can make us!?”

 “No, this is very real. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Teagan Dunn, a demon with an incorruptible soul. And this man here?” I draped my arm around Finn’s shoulders, grinning. “Is the Demon King, Finn Bálor. Or, as you ladies probably know him as, the Devil.”

The look on their faces, the very definition of “Oh shit!”, was very satisfying to behold. 

“And you four: Jessica Croft, Laura McGann, Samantha Tunney, and Dawn Austin, are without a doubt the  _ stupidest _ humans I’ve had the displeasure of meeting! I tried to be nice. I gave you chance after chance after chance to deal with the situation like decent human beings and you  _ literally _ threw it back in my face.” My face contorted with rage. “Fucking acid? If I had been a human, I would have spent the rest of my life scarred and blind! And for what? Because we politely asked you to not talk in the cinema!? That is  _ unforgivable! _ ” 

I then said the words that were officially their death sentence. “‘ _ The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. _ ’” 

I turned to Finn. “What do you want to do with them, Demon King?” 

*** 

_ “Hmmm... they're so keen to burn people they disagree with,” I mused with an edge to my voice that brooked no argument. “Which is funny, 'cause so am I. But since it's our night out, I'll make a game of it.” _

_ My hand brushed Teagan's cheek tenderly. “Teagan and I will play Tag. We get to pick you off two apiece and, when we catch you, burn your pathetic meatbags to ashes. Normally I'd digest your souls or send you to Hell, but...you're all fucking disgusting and I'd hate to spoil our appetites. The only place you deserve is nonexistence.”  _

_ “ _ **_Then_ ** _ ,” I added most emphatically. “She and I will go back to that dark little corner and I'm going to fuck her senseless against the wall while your ashes get tossed around with the rest of the cinema trash. And since I'd  _ **_really_ ** _ like to get back to that...you have exactly three seconds to run.” _

***

 I smiled as the four of them bolted away from us, heading to the door. Little did they know, they’d never reach it. Finn and I were of a faster, more lethal kind.

Laura and Jessica were my targets. Those two were the instigators and the doers - the group's wickedness started with them. 

Using a tendril of dark energy, just like Finn had taught me, I wrapped it around Jessica’s ankles and left her hanging upside down in mid-air, the blood rushing to her face. 

As for Laura, I pounced upon her back, sending her crashing to the ground. 

“Tag.” My index finger touched her forehead and memories of her life filled my mind. 

I scowled as I read her soul, saw every sin committed. Laura McGann was your friend until she felt slighted or upstaged, then she was your worst nightmare. She already had a long list of offenses from animal abuse and neglect to ruining others lives already under her belt. And more yet to come because Laura was the worst kind of insecure, someone who made herself feel better by making others feel worse.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She wailed, trying to push me off. ”I swear to God, I’m sorry.” 

“No, you’re not.” I said bitterly as I stood up. “You’re just sorry you got caught.” 

Muting her vocals, I snapped my fingers and her body suddenly combusted in flames - blue-white, the hottest kind. 

I stood back and watched coldly as she writhed on the ground, the fire making quick work of her body, reducing it to a charred corpse and, from there, nothing but mere ash. 

_ One down, one left to go. _

I glanced to Finn to see how he was doing with the other two. 

***

_ “How ‘bout a dance, Samantha?” _

_ Samantha tried diving and ducking through the rows with Dawn. However, when Dawn shoved Samantha into the aisle to save her own ass, I simply picked her up by the shirt. _

_ “You’re it,” I snarked. Touching a finger to her forehead, I saw it all. Enabling horrible people to do horrible things. Manipulation. Her actions (or lack thereof) caused ruin and death, yet she walks the earth totally fine...as long as it isn’t her. _

_ Until now.  _

_ “Please, let me go! I didn’t mean anything by what I said, please!” She cried and pleaded. Pathetic and boring. This just made me even more impatient.  _

_ I simply rolled my eyes and, with the snap of my fingers, set Samantha Tunney aflame until her ashes sifted from my fingers.  _

_ At that exact moment, I heard a gasp and scurrying footsteps behind me.  _

_ “Dawn,” I called out, letting a sadistic smile rise to my face.. “Didn’t you promise I could do whatever I wanted with you?” _

*** 

Snickering, I quickly turned my attention back to the restrained Jessica.

I watched her red-faced, wiggling upside down form apathetically. If I left her like this, then chances were her blood vessels would rupture and she’d probably end up having a brain hemorrhage. That is if she didn’t suffocate or her heart gave out first due to the extra strain being put on her organs. 

I released her. Such a fate was too good for the bitch.

Jessica fell with a ‘thunk’ onto the floor, bashing her head on one of the chairs on the way down. Holding her head and groaning, she didn’t make to run away, though this was less to do with her not wishing to and more because of the dizziness.

“Let’s see the kind of human you really are.” I said, bending down and placing a finger on her forehead. 

Her life was even worse than I’d imagined. Born into a perfectly loving family, she started taking drugs on her sweet sixteenth and it went downhill from there. Greed and gluttony went hand in hand as she strove to obtain as much money and drugs as possible, driving her poor parents into an early grave with her antics. Add in other ‘lovely’ sins like blackmail, theft, and just being an all-round bitch and, as far as I was concerned, she couldn’t die fast enough. 

Jessica was born with everything and turned her back on it for her own selfish desires. She would not change, because she did not care. She was too far gone, a bitter truth I could tell just by reading her soul.

“What a dark and disgusting soul you have.” I commented. 

“Shut up. Fucking bitch…” The girl groaned, swiping at me. “You were asking for it!” 

Feeling particularly vengeful, I went about killing her a different way. She’d still burn like the others, only hers would be via acid rather than flame. An eye for an eye, as the saying went. 

What can I say? She was asking for it. 

*** 

_ Dawn put up quite a fight. _

_ Struck me over the head with a garbage can lid while my back was turned. Cute.  _

_ Of course, it backfired when the lid exploded in her face on contact. She screamed as bits of metal sliced her face and pierced through her eyes, blinding her.  _

_ Tendrils picked her up and cooled tightly around her body as she wailed (on mute, naturally. I lower her to my level and touch her forehead.  _

_ Oh. Oh really now?  _

_ “Teagan, love... you'll want to see this.  _ **_Very_ ** _ interesting.” _

*** 

I dispersed Jessica’s screaming body into ash with a flourish of my hand before making my way over to Finn. 

“Interesting? Let’s see.” I placed my finger next to his on Dawn’s forehead. 

*** 

_ Spoiled little rich girl with loving, responsible parents. Couldn't be more of a mismatch. Grew into her looks, but full as a brick. Did a multitude of sexual favors with a couple of teachers (one of which was female) and the principal to maintain passing grades. Started doing drugs with Jessica and eventually got sugar daddies to support her habits and lifestyle. Cut off from parents when she started stealing from them. And…  _

_ Oh...  _

_ Drunkenly assaulted a homeless girl for ignoring her when she tried to get her attention.  _

_ The girl looked an awful lot like Teagan. _

*** 

I ripped my finger away from Dawn’s forehead with such force you’d have thought I’d received an electrical shock. 

“...You...” I breathed, and my eyes glowed an orange-gold, fire personified. “ _ You! _ ” 

The events leading up to my death were hazy at best and not because I’d spent centuries in Hell since (though that certainly didn’t help). 

I remembered this much: After speaking with three baptist ministers who persuaded me not to lose hope, I’d made my way to a small, quiet town. There, I used what little money I had to buy myself something to eat...only to have it all end up on the ground when a drunken girl barged right into me. She’d tried to talk to me, but I just walked away, too dejected. A big mistake, as it turned out, seeing as the girl interpreted it as me having an attitude, something she took great offense to and made it known. 

She was drunk, so her punches and kicks were clumsy, but I was weak and frail from malnutrition so she still managed to do some damage. Whacking me in the face with a brick certainly didn’t help. Once she was satisfied I’d learned my lesson and left me there, bleeding on the ground, I’d crawled away into an alley to recuperate, where I then passed out. 

I died that very night. 

“...You probably don’t recognise me, Dawn, but that homeless girl you bragged to your despicable friends about beating up? She was me.” I whispered. “And, because of you, I was too weak to find shelter and died.” 

“I will  _ never _ forgive you.” I made a point not to hold grudges, but, in this case, I was willing to make an exception. If not for her, I would have lived, I was sure of it. Sure, I still might have ended up dying, only later rather than sooner, but maybe not. Maybe things would have gotten better? The fact was I’d never know, and it was all because of Dawn Austin. 

I stormed away, unable to even look at her, I was so upset.

***

_ I turned Dawn back to me, seething.  _

_ “I know you can hear me. Because of you, an innocent girl lost her life on Earth, then came to me seeking oblivion. If it wasn’t for you…” I stopped for a moment, and looked at Teagan. A new train of thought took to the tracks in my mind. “I would never have known that she would be my equal.”  _

_ Teagan’s eyes bolted to mine, wide in surprise, and she stepped closer. “I would never have been this happy, this open to someone. My Queen is by my side…” I kissed her forehead.  _

_ My ire burned again when my focus went back to Dawn. “...because you were such a bitch to her when she still breathed. Because  _ **_you_ ** _ wanted attention. Well, you’ve got it. And now, you’ll burn for eternity, unfit to clean the shit off of her shoes.”  _

_ Her shredded face twisted in a soundless cry as she burned from the inside out, drifting to a pile of ash at our feet. With a twirl of my fingers, a small funnel swept and collected the ashes of our prey and, as promised, tossed them into the bin with the rest of the cinema trash.  _

_ I returned my attention to Teagan. We gazed at each other, mirroring a mixture of exhilaration, relief, and adoration. Taking her into my arms, I held her close as we walk back to our seats. I pull her into my lap, murmuring praises to my good girl as the film continued to play behind us as if nothing had happened.  _

_ Still ravenous as fuck, of course, but she needed a minute to process what transpired. _

_ ***  _

I rested my head against Finn’s, trying my best to calm down. 

It was hard to say which upset me more right now: that those four voids had ruined our day off together, the revelation about Dawn and her part in my death, or the fact that they were they were that rotten already. That, even to the very end, they didn’t feel a lick of remorse. 

And then I smiled. She killed me as a human, but, in doing so, I ended up becoming a demon and went on to kill her. Oh how deliciously ironic karma was. 

My gaze returned to Finn’s, softening. The orange-gold disappeared to my natural eye colour. 

“So, I believe you were planning to - how did you put it again? - fuck me up against the wall? Well, I’m ready if you are.” 

*** 

_ I growled against her neck in delight. “Is that right? Because I’m unlocking the door...an usher will come back in a couple minutes. Can you be quiet, like a good girl?” I nipped at her skin. _

*** 

I grinned. “Who knows? Maybe I can be...or maybe I can’t? Let’s find out.” 

True to his word, he fucked me up against the wall, so hard and so fast you’d think his very existence depended on it. 

The usher came in, confused as to where the hell the six moviegoers had disappeared off to and none the wiser to the grisly events that had taken place. Little did he know that two of them were still present, invisible and in the act of mid-coitus. 

In the end, I was able to keep quiet. I could be bad when I wanted to be, but I would always be a good girl at heart. Especially for Finn. 

*** 

_ All in all, I counted our night out a success.  _

_ We went to the apartment I kept on the surface for even more fun and some shutdown time. It really did make us feel a semblance of what it was to be alive.  _

_ I just loved knowing I could wake up next to her every day.  _

_ When we finally returned to Hell, however, things were in a bit of an uproar. So much for an uneventful return. _


	29. Maybes and What-Ifs, Pt. 6

“What’s the one thing about being a demon you reckon you’ll never get used to?” I asked Finn out of the blue.  

The new recruits were being taken out on a field run and Finn and I had come to see them off and wish them luck. After all, this was something of a final entrance exam for them. They passed, they graduated to a full field demon. If they failed…well, they would be given a second chance, if they had good reason and granted permission. But others would have to either settle for becoming a Shadow (if they were accepted into their ranks) or an Imp. 

And, if they didn’t want to? Or couldn’t even do one of those two? They became a Groundling, reject demons that were one step above the voids and served no purpose other than to eat any unlucky void who came across them or be eaten. A truly undesirable fate, so much so that some would consider Oblivion mercy. 

Thankfully, this didn’t happen too often. Hell currently needed more demons as our ranks were at an all-time low thanks to the Second War. There were less demons than Groundlings, which were the result of a desperate period where anyone and everyone was accepted. It would have carried on if not for Regal putting his foot down, tired of dealing with ‘uncouth, asinine beasts.’ 

I watched the rookies with a sliver of uneasiness. They had all cast off their humanity and taken to demonhood like fish to water. Nothing like me who, despite passing my field run with flying colors, also suffered many pitfalls along the way. 

*** 

_“That's easy,” I replied. “It's seeing what lies in the human soul. Amazing to see who people are behind their public personas. Also, incredibly unsettling._

_“You know what’s also amazing? Demons who were once human try to play the same tricks they used to it in an attempt to deceive other demons in authority. That's actually hilarious. I look at them like, ‘I’ve been elbow deep in your soul and can still read you like a book, and you think you can pull one on me?’ I punish them, of course, but I will say that I admire their brand of batshit crazy though,” I laughed._

*** 

“I don’t know how you deal with some of them. It must be so exhausting having to constantly make sure they stay loyal to you and watch your back in case they don’t.” I sighed. “You’d think they’d use their brain and realize you staying in power is what’s best for Hell, for  _everyone_ , but nope. You still get idiots who get greedy or power hungry and decide they want to be the next Bálor.” 

Even without the benefit of knowing their soul inside out or having a demon-sense like Finn did, there were some demons I only had to take one look at to know they needed to be kept at arm’s length. That, the second they sensed an opening or weakness, they’d commit the second unforgivable crime and try and dispose of Finn.

Bray Wyatt was one such demon. He was a ‘special case’ in that neither Finn, Regal or Kane scouted or approved his turning. A demon by the name of Sister Abigail went rogue and did it behind their backs, a move that got her killed. Bray, to his credit, was great at his craft, but he was also, in Finn’s words, batshit crazy and a loose cannon. There was a very real fear that it was only a matter of time before he stepped out of line and caused big problems for all sides. 

And then there was ‘The Prizefighter’, Kevin Owens. Rude, hostile, but, most importantly, very self-serving. He hadn’t tried anything -  _yet_  - but I could see it happening eventually. Betrayal was part of Owens on a genetic level. He Fell from Heaven after betraying his best friend, the angel, Sami Zayn, and he’d just recently betrayed his second best friend, the demon Chris Jericho. If that was how he treated his closest allies, how could he be trusted not to do the same to his King? 

It was a good thing Finn was more than capable of handling what came his way otherwise I’d have been worried. 

***

_“It's nothing at this point. It gets easier to see a threat coming from far away. Few are foolish enough to try anything with me head-on.”_

_I continued to observe the neophytes when I asked, “What about you?”_  

_***_

“Eating human souls, without a doubt. You’d think it’d be easier with voids that are as close to evil as you can get, but...no, not really. I still hate it.” I responded. “I cried the first time I had to do it, you know that? Remember how I went on a hunger strike after turning? I think I lasted six months before I snapped. Is it true that I tried to attack you?” 

*** 

_I recalled that incident well. “Yeah, you did. But to be fair, you were pretty far removed from sanity. Hell of a right hook though,” I snickered. “Took me feeding you bits and pieces of souls to get you back to normal again.”_  

*** 

“Kane was so pissed. I drove him crazy in my first year, didn’t I?” 

I stood up and dusted off my knees. “I’m off. Regal asked me if I could show one of the new rookies, Eva Marie, the ropes.” I made a face. “I think he’s fighting a losing battle with her, but, hey, maybe she’ll get better? Anyway, I’ll catch you later. Have a nice day, okay?” 

Bending down, I planted a kiss on Finn’s cheek before making to leave. 

I got as few as a couple of steps before a flash of bright light entered my field of vision… 

...and then collided right into my chest. 

My eyes widened as a white hot pain exploded where the attack made an impact.  _...What the hell...was that?!_

*** 

**_Fuck! What was that!?_ **

_I looked around for the source as I went to check on Teagan. There was definite scorching, but no real damage._

_A warning shot._

_Made with light energy. Fucking angels._

_Judging by the high-powered presence, a newly minted seraph._

_“Show yourself, Damien!” I snarled. “I know you're here.”_  

***

_Damien?_  

Gritting my teeth - that had hurt like a bitch - I stood up to see an angel with six wings now standing before Finn and I. A middle aged man with a black beard and who kinda looked to be of Arab ethnicity, he was decked out in a blue and white robe and carried himself with an incredibly smug, egotistical air about him. 

This angel was the walking example of why Heaven and Hell couldn’t have nice things. 

“Greetings, Demon King. It is I, The Beacon of Light in a Harbor of Inequity, The Duke of Decency, The Enlightened One, and the The Intellectual Savior of the Unwashed Masses-” 

“That’s a lot of names. You’re sure you’re not overcompensating for something?” I muttered. 

Damien’s silver-blue eyes flared at me. “Silence! I wasn’t speaking to you!” 

He turned back to Finn. “As I was saying, it is I, the Intellectual Savior of the Unwashed Masses, Damien Sandow and I here to rain down Heaven’s divine judgement on this,” he disdainfully pointed at me, “abomination. This has nothing to do with you, Demon King, I suggest you leave.” 

*** 

_“I think not, fucknuts!” I griped at him._

_He isn't supposed to be here at all. The little shit gets a promotion and now he thinks he’s Heaven’s gift?_

_“She is no abomination. She is a soul your feathered friends failed to protect when she needed you most. And now, she is my intended. The woman I will marry and make a queen. And you just blasted her with no cause. No..._ ** _I_** _don’t have to go anywhere. It's_ ** _you_** _who needs to leave, while_ ** _I’m_** _giving you a chance.”_  

*** 

I placed a hand on Finn’s arm, halting him. “It’s okay, leave him to me.” My eyes flashed an orange-gold. “I can handle him.” 

Damien scoffed. “You? Handle me? I highly doubt that. Either you are incredibly arrogant, or incredibly stupid. Or both. Are you aware of who I am? Allow me to educate you. I am Damien Sandow, a seraph, tasked with the glorious purpose of being Heaven’s fury and the righteousness. You, on the other hand, are nothing but a mere field demon. You stand no chance against me.”

“I don’t care who you are.” I stated bluntly, which seemed to really ruffle his feathers. “And are you aware of who  _I_  am? Because if you were, you’d realize how wrong you are. I am  _not_  like the other demons. Look at my soul and see for yourself.” 

The light in my soul flared up then, proving my point. 

The angel smiled nastily. “No, you are worse! You are an incorruptible soul, one of God’s chosen children. Our Almighty Father designed you to withstand evil and temptation and how do you repay Him?” A look of utmost contempt came over his face. “You forsake the light and become one of these soul-sucking parasites. And then you dare turn around and pretend you’re different because your pitiful soul hasn’t completely darkened? Your ignorance is astounding, even to me. You are a mockery of all that is good and an insult to the team of hardworking angels who slaved to bring your soul into existence. If God were here to see you now, He would surely despair. I cannot, and will not, let you live a second longer!” 

Damien’s fists began to shine with light. He was gearing up for another attack. “In the name of God, I banish you into Oblivion.” 

I smiled. This time I was ready.  

Unleashing my tendrils of dark energy - I only had four, a small number compared to the amount Finn could summon, but it served me just fine - I formed a protective barrier around myself as the angel hurled another beam of light towards me. Unlike the first attack, this time it didn’t hit me, the tendrils taking the brunt of it. 

And then, just like Finn taught me, I channeled my power into my very own orb of dark energy which I then threw right at Damien’s smug face. 

The angel was so up himself he didn’t even bother to get out of it’s path, no doubt assuming it wouldn’t do him any damage. Imagine his nasty surprise, then, when it made an impact and did just that, burning him? 

_Idiot,_  I thought. Field demon or not, you do not take an energy blast to the face. It was common sense. 

*** 

_Teagan made me so proud._

_And insanely ravenous. Nothing new there. Later for that, though._

_Damien was knocked on his fluffy ass, thanks to his own hubris. I was tense as I observed Teagan holding her own, ready to race to her aid. Though I knew she would be fine, she still brought out a protective instinct in me._

_So I stood by, enjoying the show and amusedly wishing I had more cinema snacks._

*** 

Damien took my shot at him better than expected. Even he was smart enough to know he’d underestimated me a little. 

“Touché, little demon.” He announced with grandiosity. “However, that will be the last time you gain the upper hand over me.” His hand became a fist of light. “You cannot block me forever. Soon, not even your evil powers will be able to protect you and then I will be the victor and you will be nothing but a mere memory.” 

He looked me over. “I see now why God departed. Tell me, are you  _proud_  of what you’ve let yourself be reduced to? You allowed yourself to be turned into something truly terrible.” 

“Yes, I did. And now I fear nothing. Not even you.” I said simply.

“Hah, your false bravado amuses me. No doubt you’ll be singing a very different tune once you’re being obliterated by my divine light.”

The fight quickly resumed. After blocking yet another attack - I could already feel my tendrils weakening - I began to run. In a fight, one must be smart and realistic and I knew that I was nowhere near strong enough to take a seraph angel on in a fight. If I was going to win this, I would have to rely on my stealth and strike when the opportunity presented itself. 

“Yes, that’s it! Scurry around like the vermin you are!” Damien brayed. “You cannot run forever, demon!” 

*** 

_Her energy was giving out. A hell of a fight, but Damien is an aggressive bastard. I wanted to feed her my energy, level the playing field, but then..._  

_I saw her run. I knew what she was planning to do._

_I reached out to her by thought:_ ** _Need a distraction, love?_**  

*** 

_Don’t worry, I’ve got this._  

I knew Damien’s type. So full of themselves that they couldn’t go a sentence without bragging or pointing out how much better they were than everyone else. Their colossal sized egos were their undoing, however. Challenge them and it wasn’t long until their patience wore thin and they resorted to lashing out.

So, that’s what I did. I poked the bear.

“You’re wrong, by the way.” I called up to him, nimbly dodging his blasts. 

“Oh, am I now? Do tell, I’d love to hear your delusional thoughts on the matter.” Damien smirked, still sending blast after blast after blast.

I smiled.  _Here we go._  

“It  _kills_  you how Hell is doing a better job with me then Heaven ever did.” A hard edge came in my voice. “You say souls like mine are precious? That God blessed us? Well, you have a funny way of showing it. You did  _nothing_!” I snarled. “You didn’t even have the decency to watch over me. You couldn’t have cared less if I lived or died! Tell me, why do you even bother? You already think we’re failed experiments and blame us for God leaving!” 

Damien’s expression darkened. “How dare you! You don’t understand a thing-”

“No, I understand perfectly.” I dodging another blast. “This has got nothing to do with righteousness, this is all about Heaven’s wounded pride and covering up an ugly truth! You want me gone because I remind you of your failures. Incorruptible souls weren’t as foolproof as you all thought, so why go to the effort of looking out for them? Not like He’s around anymore anyway. Just leave them to it, who cares? Am I right?” 

“SHUT UP!” Damien’s anger was quickly turning to fury.  

I continued on. “But, instead of admitting you fucked up and take responsibility for it, you’d rather sweep us under the rug and pretend we don’t exist. If we live and go to Heaven, then you can pat yourselves on a job well done. If we lose ourselves to darkness, then it’s the souls fault because it’s flawed. I haven’t forgotten the day I Fell. Heaven was more than happy for me to seek out Oblivion. I bet you couldn’t believe it when you found out the Demon King didn’t devour my soul. How could he possibly resist the forbidden fruit when it was served to him on a platter? Well, he didn’t! Because he’s better than you!”

“Enough! I’m through listening to you!” The angel roared. “ _DIE!_ ” 

Damien began to charge right towards me. I had no doubt in my mind that the second he got his hands on me, he was going to tear me limb from limb.

That would not be happening. 

***

_Damien has made a major error in judgement._

_Instead of focusing in on his objective, he let someone’s taunts get the better of him. Personally, I found it was always his fatal flaw. How he got a promotion anywhere is just amazing._

_And now, he's running headlong into a trap, the fool._

**_Hold steady, love. You've almost got him,_** _I thought to myself._  

*** 

Just as I’d anticipated, my taunts proved to be too much for Damien to handle and he fell into a rage. This might seem detrimental on my part - an angry enemy was a violent enemy, after all - but, in fact, it worked in my favor.

Damien wasn’t thinking straight anymore. He was so focused on harming me, that he forgot all the things he should be looking out for.

Like my tendrils. 

“I’ll kill you! Die, you vile, traitorous soul-sucking demon!” One hand wrapped around my throat, the grip tightening by the second. Soon it’d be strong enough to snap my neck. His other hand went to my upper arm, clamping down on it in a vice-like grip as he started to try and tear it off... 

Before he could do any damage, I struck, spearing his body with my four tendrils of dark energy - one in his right shoulder, one in his left leg, one in his chest and one through the wrist of the hand that currently clutched my throat. 

Damien’s yells cut off and his blue-silver eyes widened in shock. His grip on me weakened until, finally, he released me. 

Free of him, I removed my tendrils and watched as he went crashing to the ground. 

“I win.” I croaked, rubbing my throat. 

*** 

_I was at Teagan's side in a moment, checking for bruises._

_Yeah yeah, protective, I know. Fucking sue me._

_“Brilliant, love,” I praised as I looked her over. “Any injuries?”_  

***

 I shook my head. “Throat’s going to be a little sore, but I’ll live.” 

I then turned my gaze back to Damien Sandow. 

The angel was a mess. Physically and emotionally. He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around how he’d lost and was ranting to himself over it. Once he noticed me standing above him, however, his demeanor changed. 

“Please don’t kill me. Don’t eat my soul, I was only doing what I thought was right, what I was told! You can’t kill m-”

“ _Stop._ ” I ordered, before revealing, “I’m not going to kill you. If I was going to, I wouldn’t have stabbed you in parts I knew were non-lethal. I’m going to let you go.” 

Damien’s eyes bulged out of his skull. “Y-You are? Why? You’re a de-” 

“A demon. Yeah, I know.” I said. “And I’m doing it to show you that the way things are isn’t all black and white. There’s a lot of grey in between, and the sooner you angels realize that, the better.” 

I held Finn’s hand in my own. “Oh, and Damien?” I waited till his gaze met mine. “While the angels up in Heaven didn’t step in once to help or save, it was me, a dirty, no-good demon who showed you mercy. Remember that.” 

I made to leave. 

*** 

_I grasped her hand as we turned on Damien. I couldn't have been prouder of her for the way she handled herself out here today. And I intended to pamper the hell out of her when we're alone._

_But then, “No...No! NO! I’ll NEVER be indebted to the likes of you, demon scum!”_

_I spun in time to see Damien pull a dagger to stab Teagan._

_Just as I prepared to pierce his heart with a tendril, however, he burst into a mess of cinder and viscera._

_We were wearing Damien’s remains on our clothes. Great._

_And the one responsible?_

_He just showed up right where Damien stood a moment ago._

_I nodded in (annoyed) acknowledgement. “Hunter.”_

***

I said nothing, simply watching. I’d admit, I was a little awed as this was the first time I’d come face to face with the King of Kings himself. 

My knowledge on Heaven’s hierarchy wasn’t as extensive as Hell’s, but, from what I did know, Triple H essentially ran Heaven with his wife, Stephanie McMahon. The power couple stepped up to the plate when The Higher Power and Stephanie’s father, Vince McMahon, decided it was time to pass the torch (but not really). They called themselves The Authority and all the angels - save a faction that had broken off to be run by Stephanie’s brother, Shane - answered to them. 

The couple were barely seen outside of Heaven, very much preferring to stay up above, so, when Hunter and/or Stephanie did pay a visit to the Earth, it was normally a big deal. 

“I have to apologize for this. If I’d known the guy was going to be such a liability, I would never have given him the promotion. But hey, we all make mistakes, right?” His irate expression was replaced with a smile, a forced attempt to lighten the mood. “What matters is that the situation’s been  dealt with and there won’t be any repeats again.” 

“...This ends here, right? After all, retaliation from your side would not be what’s best for business. You’re a smart kid, Finn, you understand.” Triple H said then, not so much asking as telling. 

My eyes drifted to Finn, waiting to see how he reacted. 

Triple H was a dangerous man. That was the general consensus I got from Finn, Regal, etc. He was fine so long as you toed the line or cooperated, but the second he perceived you as a threat, he turned on you. Regal even went so far as to brand him a demon in disguise, saying the ruthless, violent acts he pulled when an active Guide angel was legendary. And, though he’d mellowed out since the ceasefire was established, preferring to train the next generation angels and help run Heaven, he hadn’t completely changed his ways. Randy Orton, Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens could attest to that, having been hand-picked by Triple H as the ‘future of the business’, only to be cast aside when they failed to live up to expectations. 

*** 

_If there was one thing I learned about Triple H, it was this: if you can stand toe to toe with the man without cowering, without threatening him, and play his game and survive it, then you earn his respect._

_Sometimes, I was never quite sure where I stood with him. He liked to keep everyone guessing, as if he always knew something you didn’t._

_“Best for business… Tell me, Trips, wouldn’t training your seraphs better fall under that category?” I asked in edged calm. “I would have no quarrel if not for the fact that he attacked my betrothed without provocation._ ** _That's_** _not at all good for business. Now, you have eliminated the problem so, logically, there is no cause for retaliation to be had. But this must never happen again. We are in peacetime - this is unbecoming.”_  

_A smirk appeared on my lips. “You’ve got nothing to worry about from me. As long as there’s no more..._ ** _incidents_** _like this.”_  

*** 

Triple H relaxed noticeably once Finn made it clear that there’d be no revenge attacks from Hell. “Trust me, there won’t be. And, hey, you know as well as I do that some people just won’t play ball and follow the rules like they’re supposed to, no matter what you do or say to them. They’ll always get stupid ideas into their head and cause trouble.” 

A smile came over my face. “Apology accepted.” 

The angel nodded at me. His pale gold eyes then turned back to Finn. “He wasn’t one of mine, they’re much better than this. I did take the guy on as a pet project, but it didn’t last long. I would have been happy for him to stay a Guide, but you know Vince, once the old man gets something into his head, it’s got to be done.” 

Dusting off  his grey suit, he made to leave. “Now that that unpleasantness has been dealt with, I must be getting back to meet some of the young hopefuls who’ve been nominated for divinity. Albert says hi, Finn, and wants to know if there’s going to be a wedding like Ambrose and Renee had. If there is, be sure to let Steph and I know when it’s official, we’ll send you something nice.” 

“Of course. It was nice meeting you, Hunter.” I said. 

“By the way, I have a question.” I called out, stopping him before he could spread his wings and depart. “Heaven sees everything on Earth, right?” 

“It does. Why do you ask?” 

“Oh, I was just wondering why it took you so long to step in and stop Damien? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were waiting to see if Finn came to my aid. You wanted proof that the Demon King actually loves me and I’m not some passing phase. Because if he didn’t,” My smile turned sharp. “Well, I wouldn’t be standing here right now, would I?”

Triple H didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. 

***

_You’d never know it, but I smiled inside at her words. Funny how she just nailed it._

_“Teagan has quite a knack for perception, and a pretty wicked humor. It's one of many reasons why she's my betrothed.” I squeezed her hand._

_“Give Albert my fondest regards, and there will indeed be a ceremony. I’ll be sure to send invitations,” I added sincerely._  

***

“We’ll be waiting.” And, with that, Triple H was gone, flying in a blaze of light back to Heaven. 

Soon as he was out of sight and it was just Finn and I, I quit keeping up appearances and fell against him. Fighting that angel - and a seraph, at that - had taken everything out of me. It was truly a miracle I’d even been able to come out of it in one piece! 

“My neck is going to be killing me tomorrow.” I hissed. 

*** 

_I huffed a laugh and scooped her up. “You were amazing today. Come on, we’ll go home. I'll draw you a hot bubble bath, just the way you like it, and give you a full-body massage.”_  

*** 

“Sounds good.” I smiled, resting my head against his shoulder. “I’m going to sleep for a bit. Wake me up when we get home.” 

Of course, what I was doing wasn’t sleeping. Demons didn’t need to sleep and they certainly didn’t dream in the sense that humans did (more like an outer body experience). ‘Shutting down’ is how Finn referred to it as, which pretty much summed it up, though I didn’t like using the term. It made me feel like a computer.

Later, when I’m relaxing in my bubble bath, and Finn is sitting on the side keeping me company, I look in the mirror and see that my eye color has changed. It’s no longer the orange-gold it’s always been since my turning. 

Now it’s a blood red. Proof that I’m truly qualified to stand alongside the Demon King. 

*** 

_Since the day Bálor took the throne after Lucifer’s death, there have only been two Demon Queens._

_Lilith was the first. Having lost her master and seeking another, she seduced the original vessel Bálor chose for himself when he first arrived. While she had no intention of becoming queen (so she claimed), she ruled by his side with an iron fist. That is, however, until she murdered the vessel while they had sex. She made off with his crown, but Bálor had the last laugh. The tendrils strangled her, gouged her eyes out, reached down her throat and squeezed her black heart, then burned her to a crisp._

_Then there was Hecate. Already a goddess, she would forge a long time relationship with the Demon King that bordered unholy in the best ways. Until Bálor went power mad and, in a fit of jealous rage, slayed hundreds of her followers at a moon festival because it wasn’t about him. Hecate fled from him and protected the followers that remained, getting them to safety. She never returned._

_Eventually, Bálor would fall on Earth at the hand of the first human to ever best him in a fight: me._

_As I tend to Teagan with firm and sure hands, massaging and caressing her body from head to toe, I think about how different she is from those that came before. I think about how lucky I am to have met my equal, a kindred spirit, in her. I kissed her neck and breathe in her scent, content and happy._

_She is my Demon Queen._

***

When I realized I wouldn’t be just a Queen in name only, that the demons looked to me as their ruler just as much as Finn, I decided that I’d be everything Finn couldn’t be. He, who had to shoulder the weight and darkness that came with the crown, who’d lost nearly all his humanity in order to survive and thrive as the Demon King, could not afford to be kind, forgiving, or lenient. It would only be viewed as a weakness and used against him, as it had been in the past.

So, I would be all those things. I’d be the light to his darkness, the ying to his yang, the one the demons viewed as the soft touch so he could remain in their eyes the great and terrible King who demanded and deserved their respect and loyalty.

That being said, when word of my battle and victory over Damien Sandow spread, there came a noticeable change in how the others approached me. Whereas before, I was Teagan, a Field demon who was lucky enough to win the heart of Bálor, but still one of their own, now they were bowing before me as I passed or paying their respects. 

They also came to me for favors. Anything they felt Finn might not agree to, they took to me, hoping I’d lend them my support.

Today was one such day. I accepted a few as they were quite reasonable, but then there were some that were just out of the question and, quite frankly, taking the piss. 

Case in point: Paige. 

“Regal said I can’t do acquisitions anymore with Alberto. He can’t do that, we’re in love! We have to be together!” She protested. 

“Paige,” I said calmly. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? It’s not like he ordered you to break up with him, he just wants you to have some independence. He’s worried that you might be getting a bit too caught up in your relationship with Del Rio and neglecting your duties as a demon. Just stick it out for a couple of months, be on your best behavior, then I’ll see what I can do.” 

“No, I can’t wait that long and neither can Papi! Don’t you see what Regal’s trying to do? He’s trying to split us up! And it’s not fair! I haven’t done anything wrong!” The waterworks started to come. “He doesn’t understand our love, nobody does! Everyone keeps saying how Alberto is a bad influence on me, and that’s not true! You have to do something! Talk to Finn, he can make Regal stop!” 

_Heh, no chance in Hell of that happening…_  

Paige didn’t realize how lucky she was. Finn’s patience with her had truly worn thin and he was now expecting the third strike The only thing that would happen if I were to take her grievances up with Finn would be him losing his temper and chucking her to the Groundlings. 

I couldn’t say that, so I took the more tactful approach. 

“No offense, but I agree with him. Your performance and attitude has kind of taken a turn for the worse since you met the guy. You used to be at the top of your game and respected by the demons here, now everyone’s taking bets on how long it’ll be until your third strike.” 

She stiffened. I stood up and placed a hand on her arm. “Paige, please, don’t throw it all away. I get it, you’re young and in love, but Del Rio’s not worth the trouble. He’s a huge liability who’s self-destructing and he’s taking you down with him. Do the smart thing and get away from him. I’ll talk to Finn, he’ll be willing to-”

“You bitch.”

I shut up, feeling my heart sink. In that moment, I knew I’d lost her. No matter what I said, Paige was not going to see reason. 

Her eyes blazing orange-gold, Paige ripped my hand off her. “ _You bitch._  You act all nice and understanding, but you’re just like the rest! No, you’re even worse! You’re a frickin’ piece of a shit! You’re trying to make my life difficult because you’re jealous of the love we share. You know that eventually the Demon King’s going to get bored of you and will probably kill you, so you’re trying to break my relationship with Alberto up so you can feel better. I see right through you! You think that because you’re going to be the ‘Queen’, you can do whatever you want now and look down on the rest of us. Well, fuck you! I will never bow down to you, you stuck up-” 

Her ranting was interrupted by the appearance of Nia Jax, the imposing Hybrid Athlete coming to stand in front of me, arms crossed. 

“She causing you problems, Boss?” Nia said, staring down Paige. 

I shook my head. “It’s okay, Nia, I can handle her.” I turned my gaze back to Paige and my eyes glowed red. “If I were you, Paige, I’d do the smart thing and walk away. Walk away, calm down, and give some serious thought to what I’ve said. I’m not your enemy.” 

Paige sneered at me, spitting “Fuck you, bitch!” before storming off and breaking something on the way out for good measure. 

“Immature child.” Nia scoffed. “You want me to go rough her up a little?” 

I snickered a little. “No, no, there’s no need. Leave her to it.” I liked Nia. Cold and brusque though she may be, she was nothing if not honest. Loyal, too, if she felt you deserved it. Of course, I was well aware her loyalty lay with Finn, not me.

“With all due respect, you’re too weak for your own good. That girl is out of control, she needs to be put in her place.”

“No.” I said firmly. “If Paige is dumb enough to try anything against me, I’ll be ready for her when she comes. Until then, leave her.” When Nia looked at me, unimpressed, I explained myself. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“You better be.” Was all Nia said, clearly unconvinced.

***

_“Teagan has been doing amazing work with handling the demon populace, lad,” Regal lauded. Which was amazing, since it wasn't easy to get high praise from him. As we sat at a distance and watched field demons running training scenarios, he continued, “Without being asked or even trained, she has gained the trust of the majority and provided a sense of balance to your rule.”_

_“She truly is my equal,” I agreed. “She's taken up responsibilities that I would have lost patience with over time, tasks that others would balk at. And she handles herself with grace.”_

_“Without question, my King. Which brings me to another matter. Well, an apology, to be specific.”_

_I looked around, a bit concerned. “Did Hell freeze over?”_

_He rolled his eyes, knowing I was just taking the piss. “I once thought that, you being human with Bálor’s mantle, you would be more of a liability because humanity was so weak and selfish. I thought, 'How is he meant to be anything more than food for the Beast Incarnate?’ And... I confess, I am loath to admit that I am wrong. But what you've done with Hell, with such ingenuity, unifying us… it's no wonder Heaven is terrified of you.”_

_I was humbled by his appraisal. “I wouldn't have lasted this long if not for your support, Regal. You should know that. Teagan will need your support as well while she makes this transition. I trust that you will be as loyal to her as you are to me.”_

_“That's not a mere request, my King, but an honor. And I will serve you both as always.”_

_We sat for a while in comfortable silence._


	30. Maybes and What Ifs, Pt. 7

Though I had hoped Paige would have an epiphany of sorts and heed my warning, that’s sadly not what happened. Instead, she was every bit as stupid as I feared she would be and made an attempt on my life.

Going against expectations, her attack didn’t come directly. There was no fight to the death, like I’d always imagined it would be. I suspected this was due to the fact that she knew I could take her, and probably even beat her. Gone were the days when I was but a rookie. I’d surpassed her.

No, to give Paige credit, she went about things in a far more underhanded way.

She struck a week after my ‘meeting’ with her. I was pottering about Hell, having just helped Kane come up with new tortures, when Regal approached me. 

I knew the second I saw his face that something terrible had happened. For a second, fear struck me as I assumed the worst, that Finn had been killed. However, much to my relief, that wasn’t the case. 

“Teagan, it’s Paige. She’s accused you of committing the unforgivable crime.” 

I closed my eyes -  _ so, that’s your move _ \- and then nodded. “I see. Do you believe me when I tell you she’s lying?” 

He nodded. “Of course. You understand that I must follow protocol? That I am to take you to Finn and Paige now where you will be judged and, if found guilty, sentenced?” The thought alone seemed to hurt him. “If there was a way I could put a stop to this, I would.” 

“I know, Regal.” I then hugged him. “If this should end in my death, I want you to know that I’m glad I met you. You were like a father to me.” 

I then stood back, resolute. “Take me to them.” 

*** 

_ Everything in me hurt. I hated Paige more than I've hated anyone.  _

_ I knew Teagan was innocent, not a single doubt in my head. The one instance she claimed the desire to do the unforgivable was merely her needing help.  _

_ So when Paige accused Teagan of flagrantly revealing herself and our existence to an uninitiated human (without killing them), I was ready to smite her where she stood.  _

_ But the rule is that, despite the belief of innocence, in order to satisfy the witness’ testimony, both parties must be present and made to stand before the Demon King and his advisor (if any). There is no need for testimony. The fact-checking process is a painful one for the defendant. The advisor, then the King, have to physically reach in and lay hands upon their soul for evidence of wrongdoing.  _

_ (What most demons don't know is that violations leave telltale marks on the soul, no matter how dark it might be. We don't tell them because, quite frankly, it's fun to see them bury themselves. And we can filter out those trying to simply undercut another demon.)  _

_ If the defendant is innocent, then the witness is tried for lying and the fact-checking process is doubly worse for them. They will be executed in the defendant’s place.  _

_ Teagan walked in alongside Regal, stoic and understanding. Paige stood by, smirking as if she'd already won.  _

_ When she stopped to stand before me, I began, “Teagan Dunn, you stand accused of committing the unforgivable crime by one of your peers. It is customary to enter a plea of innocence or guilt as well as a brief explanation of that plea. You may do so now.”  _

**_Stay strong, love,_ ** _ I directed to her.  _ **_I'm so sorry for this bullshit._ **

*** 

_ It’s okay, I understand. Do what you have to do. _ I reassured Finn. 

I turned to my accuser. “You should have put this much effort into having some common sense and not being so damn stubborn. We wouldn’t be standing here now, if you did.” I sized her up, then said, “This is your last chance, Paige. My final mercy. Admit you made this all up and I’ll ask Finn to spare you.” 

He wouldn’t listen, no chance, but I could at least grant her a quick and painless death.  

Paige scoffed loudly. “You have some nerve. You’re the one who’s fucked here, not me. Maybe you should be more focused on trying to save your own skin?” 

“I can’t.” I confessed. “I don’t know who you’ve accused me of revealing myself to, or when, but it doesn’t matter. It’s my word against yours and, unfortunately, as the accused, I’m guilty until proven innocent. ...I have no way of proving that I didn’t do it.”

She smirked. “Then I guess you better kiss your existence goodbye then, huh?”

“I guess so.”

Her eyes widened. “...What do you mean ‘ _ I guess so _ ’!? You’re about to get sent to Oblivion. Don’t you care?” 

I considered her question, then answered truthfully, “Oblivion has never scared me. In fact, I welcome it. It’s the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter or care who you are, it’s the same fate for everyone. I imagine it’s also oddly peaceful. In Oblivion, there’s no more pain and no more sadness. You’re free, in every sense of the word.” 

Paige stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. I can’t really blame her. Fear of nonexistence is common, one nearly everyone wants to avoid at all costs. I’m just one of the rare few who wasn’t afraid of it. 

I sighed. “I came from nothing and I will return to nothing. If the Demon King deems that to be my fate, then I accept it. I will not hold it against him.” 

“ _ Urgh, I can’t take it anymore!”  _ A scream ran out and suddenly Paige had me by the scruff of my collar, a wild look of fury in her eyes. “You’re pissing me off! For once, just admit you’re scared! That you actually give a shit!” She shook me. “Cry! Get mad!  _ Do something! _ ” 

Silence filled with the office as Regal prised the two of us apart, barking at Paige to sit down. 

“Sorry, Paige, that’s just how I am. Since I became a demon, nothing has worried me. However…” My eyes fell on Finn and my calm expression crumpled. “I don’t want Finn to be forced to be my judge, jury and executioner. The very reason I became a demon was so that wouldn’t happen, so the fact that you would do this… It’s despicable!”

Paige grinned, sick glee on her face. “ _ Finally! _ I finally managed to get under your skin!” She then clapped her hands, laughing. “Well, tough luck, bitch, because that’s what’s going to happen! I get to sit here and watch you FAIL to save yourself, then die in agony as the man you love devours your soul right in front of you! And there’s nothing you can do about it!” 

*** 

_ Maintaining a stern facade (even as I was ready to rip Paige's hair clean from her skull and break her in half), I turned to Paige, “Remember, if it's found that your claim is false, not only will you be tried for perjury, but the additional charge for conspiracy to assassinate a higher authority. This is your only chance to either stand firm or concede. Make your choice.” _

*** 

Paige did not concede. “I stand by what I said.” She pointed at me. “Teagan committed the unforgivable crime. If you think I’m lying, then look into my soul. You’ll find your proof.” She sat back, looking incredibly satisfied. “She went back, Finn. She went back and revealed herself to her mother. The old bat will confirm it.”

Well, well. It seems I’d underestimated Paige. I’m not sure how she’d found out about how close I’d come to committing the unforgivable crime, but clearly she had (Finn did say that Heaven had eyes and ears everywhere and gossip wasn’t unheard of), and now she was using it as a noose to choke me. 

Certain she had this in a bag, she continued, “There you have it, Demon King. She has motive, she’ll admit herself that she planned to do the act, and it would explain why that seraph angel attacked her. Only reason Heaven isn’t taking it further is because the human in question is going to die soon and because of her relationship with you. She’s clearly taking advantage of that. Probably only a matter of time before she tries to off you and take the crown for herself.” 

_ Right. Time to put a stop to this. _

I stood up and announced, “I plead innocent. As I said to your face that night, Finn, if I were to commit the Unforgivable Crime, I’d do it,  _ then _ tell you to your face and accept the consequences. I would not lie or try to cover it up. She,” I inclined my head towards Paige, “is doing this out of revenge, because I refused to overturn Regal’s decision to keep her and Del Rio apart for acquisitions. Because I tried to talk some sense into her.”  

*** 

**_I know, I believe you._ ** __

_ “Let's begin the process. Regal, you first.” I took my seat, stone faced. Inside I trembled with blind rage.  _

_ Regal approached Teagan, remorse in his eyes. I knew he cared for her and hated this as much as I did.  _

_ “Teagan,” he began. “During the process, you will experience flashes and severe pain. Do not resist...well, try not to...and do not conceal your thoughts from me. We'll make this quick. Are you ready?” _

*** 

I nodded. I understand this had to be done, that Regal and Finn had no choice in the matter. 

As for the pain that was about to be unleashed on me, I could handle it. I suffered my entire human life and consigned myself to a century of torment that would make demons like Paige cringe. After enduring that, I could endure anything. 

“I’m ready. Do it.” I gave Regal the go-ahead.

... _ Oh. It’s been so long since I’ve been in this much pain, I’d almost forgotten what it felt like _ …

Don’t resist it, Regal said. It was like telling someone not to yank their hand away when you put it in the fire or not to struggle when their head is held under water. You try not to, but your body won’t cooperate. 

I could feel my soul writhing.

***

_ My gut wrenched. Every cell of my being ached just watching her endure this.  _

_ I would not waver. I had every faith in her innocence. But Paige would pay dearly. _

_ Before I sank too deeply into thought, Regal removed his hands from Teagan's soul. He looked visibly shaken, but firm as he nodded to me. I rose to my feet and stood before Teagan as Regal silently took his seat. _

_ She looked rattled, I saw it in her eyes, but still as composed as she could be, all things considered. “It is now my turn. Teagan, are you ready?”  _

**_No matter what...you have me, Teagan._ **

***

I nodded silently to show him I heard and returned the sentiments. 

I suppose now would be the time I ‘saw the light’, as one would say. After having to go through  _ that _ , Paige and others would assume I’d now have the fear of death put into me.

But...it really didn’t change anything. I’d learnt a long time ago to take the bad with the good, that all bad things would surely pass. It hurt like nothing else, but it didn’t last forever. The experience would surely end and I wouldn’t be around to care anymore.

If I ever were to die via having my soul eaten, to me it would simply be the final torment I had to endure before I was rewarded with everlasting peace. A means to an end. That’s all.

Prepared this time, I closed my eyes and readied myself. The first time is always the worst, but once you know what’s coming, it gets easier to handle. I’d learnt that during my torture-time with Kane.

My soul complied this time. Apart from a shudder of pain, it didn’t squirm in Finn’s grasp like it had with Regal. 

*** 

_ I could see it all. _

_ She crept into her childhood home...her mother's bedroom. Walked through her dreams… _

**_“Don’t you want to know what happened to Teagan? Don’t you ever think of her?”_ **

**_“Your daughter is dead, Abigail. She died alone, unhappy and unloved. Her body is buried in an unmarked grave, under a lonely stone. Do you even care?”_ ** __

_Her mother's reply:_ **“I have no daughter.”**

_ Fuck. I hate this woman. Not as much as I hate Paige at this moment, but fucking close. _

_ I released her soul and stepped back to give her breathing room. _

_ Keeping my own breath steady, I said, “Thank you for your cooperation. Regal, to me.” Regal moved quickly to my side and, turning our backs for a moment, we communicated quietly before we came to our decision. _

_ Turning back, I see Paige's smug face in stark contrast to Teagan's calm composure. “We have reached a decision,” Regal announced. “Having seen Teagan's soul and reviewed what we've heard and witnessed, it was discovered that Teagan has committed no wrongdoing. She visited her mother privately and walked through her dreams, but did not tell of her state or of our existence. The assault from the angel Damien Sandow was unrelated to this incident. Therefore, we clear Teagan Dunn of the charge presented.”  _

_ “Furthermore,” I continued. “Paige is hereby to be checked for duplicity and potential conspiracy. Teagan, you're free to go. It isn't necessary for you to witness the rest of the process.”  _

_ ***  _

I let out a sigh of relief. I knew I was innocent, that I had nothing to fear from the get-go, but it was still nice to have confirmation that I was in the clear. “Good to know.”

I stood up to leave. Despite what she’d done to me today, I didn’t wish to witness Paige’s inevitable sentencing and death.

My hand was just on the doorknob by the time she got over the shock of my verdict and decided to kick up a fuss. It was obvious she hadn’t expected things to go down this way. I imagine she thought it’d be how I envisioned it. One person makes an accusation, the accused is tasked with refuting it. If they can’t, they’re guilty. 

“That’s bullshit!” She protested. “I’m telling you that she did it! I have proof!” 

“The King and I have inspected Teagan’s soul. I can assure you, if there was any falsehoods or sign that she’d committed the unforgivable crime, we’d have found them.” Regal interrupted, a cold smile on his face. “Teagan has been found not guilty and is no longer under investigation. If I were you, I’d be more concerned about proving your own innocence. If this is a simple misunderstanding, then all will be forgiven, but if Teagan is right in saying this is a nasty little plot you’ve concocted out of revenge, then rest assured, we  _ will _ find out.”

Paige’s face blanched for a few seconds before giving way to anger again. 

“You know what I think? I think this is bullshit! I think this whole trial has been set against me. She’s dating the Demon King, for fuck’s sake! He shouldn’t even be allowed to judge her! For all I know, he’s lying about what he saw to cover her arse! You too! I want a third opinion, someone who isn’t biased or against me!”

I gritted my teeth and my eyes flared red. 

I could see where this was going. She’d postpone the trial, complaining the whole time that it was rigged. And once Del Rio got wind, the Mexican Aristocrat would do what he did best and that’s run his mouth off and stir shit up. Most of the demons would stay faithful, but there’d be a few who’d defect, believing Del Rio might stand a chance against the Demon King. Fights would break out, distrust and paranoia would be rampant, and Hell would be an absolute mess. And all because of  _ her _ . 

My patience and leniency had officially run out. 

“Paige, enough!” I snapped, silencing her. Stomping over, I leaned in close and whispered dangerously, “If you don’t shut the hell up and face the consequences, then Del Rio will be joining you. Understand?” When her eyes widened and she went to respond, I interrupted. “ _ Don’t. _ You’ve been warned, I suggest you actually listen to me this time, like you should have from the start.  _ Take responsibility _ or Del Rio dies, too.” 

Of course, knowing what a hothead Alberto Del Rio was, as well as how he wouldn’t take his lover's death lying down, he’d still probably wind up dead after forcing Finn or Regal’s hand. Not that Paige had to know this. 

Coming to a stop at the door, I said my final words to her. “Goodbye, Paige. You should have taken my help when I offered it. And, as for accusing me of breaking one of the unforgivable rules so that Finn would be forced to kill me? That’s low, even for you. As far as I’m concerned, you deserve everything coming to you.”

With that, I left her to the vengeance of the Demon King. 

*** 

_ While Paige's back was turned, I gave Regal the signal to... begin the process. The way she behaved today, she didn't even deserve the warning.  _

_ She resisted and screamed which, no doubt, made his soul searching incredibly painful. And I couldn't give a single flying fuck.  _

_ When he was finished, she nearly collapsed. And Regal had a disconcerted look on his face, as if he had witnessed something very private.  _

_ Before she could collect herself, I dove right in.  _

**_She followed Teagan to her mother's that night, hoping for something to pin on her. Got discouraged when Teagan hadn't done anything wrong._ **

**_Runs to the arms of her pompous boyfriend and tells the whole story. And…_ **

**_Well, isn't_ ** **_this_ ** **_a fucking surprise?_ **

_ I released her sharply. “Del Rio put you up to all of this!” I roared.  _

_ She stumbled to the floor and shook her head so fast, I thought it would spin on her neck.  _

_ “A definite conspiracy, my King,” Regal affirmed. “He used Paige's jealousy to make a play for your throne. Remove the Queen, throw you into a rage, get you killed in battle, and he would take the crown.”  _

_ “Indeed.” I couldn't let this go, no matter how much of a failure the plot would have been, thanks to Bálor. “Regal, find Del Rio. You know what to do. I'll take it from here.”  _

_ “As you desire, my King.” Regal all but fled the room. And all my attention focused solely on Paige as she cowered on the floor. I looked down upon her with icy contempt before snatching her up and coiling my tendrils around her body. Lowering her to my eye level, I pass sentencing. “Paige...you have been found guilty of perjury and conspiracy to assassinate a higher authority and to usurp the crown. You are hereby sentenced to oblivion.  _

_ “Before I do this, I want this to be the last thought you have. How you fucked over every person who took a chance to help you. How you ignored every warning, every direction, and wound up with a man that eventually got you killed. I need you to remember that because maybe you'll finally get it. And know that you could have changed your fate. This didn't have to be. Teagan - no, our  _ **_Queen_ ** _ \- didn't deserve your bullshit. None of us did. And now... it's all over.” _

_ My eyes flashed blood red. I severed her vocal cords.  _

_ “I'd ask you for last words, but I don't offer niceties to traitors. Goodbye, you miserable bitch.” _

_ * _

_ Regal called me after I'd consumed Paige's soul and mauled her corpse. He had found Del Rio in the middle of fucking his secretary (no surprise there) and - acting on my behalf - passed sentence on the spot. Instantly snuffed out. “I've launched an investigation into this conspiracy to see if others were involved. Go to Teagan, my King. No doubt she'll need you.” _

_ I took a hot shower and dressed as the Shadows cleansed the hearing room. Regal was right - much as I wanted to join the investigation, my Queen needed me. _

 


	31. Maybes and What Ifs, Pt. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last one before we dive back in!

I stared out the window of Finn’s apartment on Earth, watching the cars and people below. 

You cannot save everyone. Some people, no matter how hard you try, will never change. Similarly, there are those who don’t deserve mercy and sympathy. Those who will try to exploit it or throw it back in your face. 

I knew this. And I knew I shouldn’t let it get to me. People like that brought it on themselves, it was better to cut them loose because they’d only drag you down with them in the end. 

My fury at Paige had died down, and now in its place was bitterness and regret. Why did it have to come to this? Why did Paige have to be too immature and foolish to realise the destructive path she was heading on and stop while she had the chance? Why did I still  _ care? _

My head shot around as I heard the door open and saw Finn walk in.

Within seconds I’ve wrapped my arms around him, whispering reassuring words to him. Forget about me -  _ he’s _ the one that needs to be held right now. After all, the regret or sadness I would have felt would have paled in comparison to his had this ended up badly. 

He’s the one who’d have had to kill me. I would have died, but he’d have had to live with it forever.

“You handled things so well today. I’m so proud of you.” 

It would have been so easy for Finn to be biased or shirk the rules, as Paige had accused. However, the rules were in place for a reason and, once word got out that the Demon King was willing to make exceptions, that they didn’t apply to everyone, chaos would break out. The demons would get out of control and, sooner or later, Heaven would have gotten involved. 

So the fact that Finn remained impartial, that he stuck by his duty as the Demon King for the greater good, meant everything to me. 

*** 

_ The moment Teagan took me in her arms with her reassuring words, it felt like Regal’s assessment should have been the reverse:  _ **_I_ ** _ needed my  _ **_Queen_ ** _. Perhaps both were true. _

_ I picked her up and carried her to our bed, lying down with her without breaking our embrace. Her touch calmed me, reminding me she was still here. I kept her close, listening to the dark beat of her heart.  _

_ But then I opened my mouth. “How...how can you comfort me, love? You went through so much today, and it should never have happened. I hate that you ever had to experience it... and you...you were so incredible through it all.”  _

_ I grasped her tighter. “I knew you were innocent. There was never a doubt in my mind, even before I touched your soul. I hated Paige for putting us through this bullshit just because she couldn't get her way, even though I knew how it would end...but, the thought of ever losing you…” I hesitated. Only for a moment to breathe and collect my thoughts, I went on. “...The thought of losing you, especially at my hand, terrified the shit out of me.” _

_ I turned my head to place a lingering kiss over her heart, and nuzzled there, vulnerable at my Queen's mercy. “I need you, Teagan. So much.” _

*** 

“And you have me.” I said simply. “Like I said, for as long as you want me by your side, I’ll be there. You won’t lose me. Demons, angels - they can try and get rid of me, but so long as I have you and you have me, I’ll be here.” 

I pulled back to look Finn in the eyes. “I’m comforting you because you need it more than I do. I wasn’t joking when I told you that I don’t fear death. Since the day I became a demon, I just stopped being so afraid all the time. Whether I lived or whether I died just didn’t bother me. And then I met you...” 

I placed my hands on either side of Finn’s face. “Believe me when I tell you this: If you had been forced to kill me, I would not have been afraid. I would have gone with no regrets because I finally knew what happiness is, what it’s like to love and be loved. Even if it had ended in my death, Paige wouldn’t have won, Finn. I wouldn’t let her.” 

“And besides…” I smiled impishly. “If it makes you feel any better, I would have enjoyed it. ... _ Just a little. _ ” I scoffed. “I’m so fucked up, I swear…” 

*** 

_ I raised an eyebrow. “Well, I do love your particular brand of fucked up. It plays so well with my own.”  _

_ As the anguish dissipated - part of Teagan's magic - I found a small smile, and a nagging curiosity. “But, um, when you say you would have  _ **_enjoyed_ ** _ it...care to share with your teacher how that would have worked?” She always did have ways to keep me guessing. _

***

I smiled. “Well, think about it. It’s domination and submission and sadomasochism taken to the extreme. You know how much I like that.”

Eyes lit up, I went and took him through a play by play of my sick little fantasy. 

“You’d decide that you couldn’t control yourself anymore. Your inner demon  **must** have me -  _ all _ of me. Whether I like it or not. You restrain me with your tendrils and no matter how much I’d struggle, I just can’t break free. You’re so ravenous and powerful and I have no choice but to submit. If that’s what my Master desires, who am I to refuse? I’m your willing slave, after all.” 

I traced his lips with my finger. “You can’t wait a second longer. You kiss me goodbye and then you start ripping my soul out and devouring it right before my very eyes. It’s...oh, words can’t describe it. There’s pain, so much pain, but there’s also pleasure and it’s just as intense. Because you’re dominating my  _ entire being _ in the best and worst kind of way, in a way that makes it very clear that I belong to you and no one else. I’d die knowing that I satisfied you completely, and that, no matter what, I’ll always be a part of you. I am  _ yours. _ ”  

My breath hitched and I closed my eyes. “For me, it would be the ultimate experience, beyond pleasure or pain. It’d all roll into one until it was too much for me. It’d be...ecstasy.” 

I gave Finn a sheepish smile. “Like I said, fucked up, right?” 

***

_ I was breathless, eyes wide for a moment in shock, before I felt outright predatory.  _

_ For the longest time, we’ve entertained danger in our scenes. Nothing involving wastes, however - just not our style - but Teagan was game for even the toughest scenes (nothing wrong with a little blood). And I was always there to take care of her. But what she was suggesting?  _

_ Oh, I was  _ **_so_ ** _ glad she was mine. _

_ “That depends,” I intoned with wicked ferocity.“Is it fucked up that I'm extremely turned on by that scenario and planning a role-play in my head as we speak?” _

*** 

A wide grin spread over my face. This right here was why I loved Finn so much. There was no judgement like there would have been if I was alive on Earth. No, “There’s something seriously wrong with you”, or “You need therapy”. Only acceptance. He saw the real me and accepted and encouraged me. He completed me in a way no one else could.

God, I loved him. 

“Probably, but fuck anyone who think that. We’re happy and we’re not hurting anyone, and that’s what really matters.” I kissed him on the lips, running my tongue over the smooth surface. 

“So, now that Paige is gone, I can see Del Rio being a bit of a problem. He’s too prideful and hotheaded not to try anything stupid.” I sighed. 

*** 

_ “Already taken care of, love. Del Rio was snuffed out by Regal. Turns out he was conspiring to take me out and become the next Demon King. He used Paige's jealousy to try to remove you from the equation.”  _

_ I huffed out a breath. “Regal's launched an investigation into this, seeing if anyone else was involved. I highly doubt it, since Del Rio was the type to keep his shit to himself until he was sure he would win. Then he was just insufferable. But Regal won't chance it - and he's a man who can get to the truth by any means necessary. He'll have info for us before sunset.” _

*** 

“Hah!” I scoffed out loud. I don’t know what was more ludicrous a thought:  _ Del Rio _ being the next Demon King or the fact that he and Paige were dumb enough to think they actually stood a chance. Finn hadn’t lasted this long for no reason. 

“I can see why Regal is the way he is. Some people are so stupid it’s unbelievable.”

I kissed the top of Finn’s head. “Relax now, okay?” 

*** 

_ I chuckled and breathed her in, a weight off my shoulders finally lifted.   _

_ Finding a patch of soft skin exposed at her collar, my lips connected to it. It was probably meant to end there, but...fuck, when have I ever been able to stop with her?  _

_ I covered every inch of her collarbone with kisses, quick nips, and kitten licks. Teases I knew she liked. It never had to lead beyond that and I never pressured her.  _

_ But if she came along willingly, who was I to argue? _

***

_ Ohhhh, you big tease. _ I thought. Finn knew I could never resist, that once he got started, I would insist he see it through to the end. 

Capturing his lips in a kiss, I pulled my shirt over my head and unhooked my bra.

We spent the whole night making love, gently tending to and pampering one another (but mostly me to him. Finn needed some aftercare, too). After the day we had, fearing we might never see each other again, how could we not?

*

“So, what’s the gift? Tell me, I’m dying of curiosity over here!”

This is the first time I was hearing about it, but, apparently, after Finn and I officially became a couple all those centuries ago (about five years on Earth), he planned a gift for me. A special gift, one he said he knew I’d adore. However, he couldn’t give it to me right away because it wasn’t ready yet. 

He’d let it slip the other night and had since been teasing me mercilessly by refusing to tell me a thing. It was driving me crazy!

“Does Regal know? Does Kane? Kane, do you know what Finn’s up to?”

“Keep me out of this!” The Big Red Monster snapped back. “And do I look like the kind of guy who cares about this lovey dovey crap?” 

“Don’t act like you’re above it all.” I responded, a wicked smile on my face. “Does the name Katie Vick ring a bell?” 

“ _ WHO TOLD YOU?? _ ” The demon yelled. “Was it my brother?!”

I laughed. You wouldn’t guess it by looking at Kane, but he did have a heart in there somewhere. Loath as he was to admit it, he wasn’t a complete monster like some of the remaining Old Guard that still occupied Hell. 

***

_ I rescued Kane from Teagan's childlike curiosity (and subtle blackmail) and tugged her towards a newly built wing.  _

_ It was amazing how far we’ve come, how much we'd grown together. We’d been together for ages and it still felt very new. There were good days and bad days, but we were always endgame, stronger than ever. _

_ Hell had never seen such a rule as ours. Morale had increased, production improved, and our ranks were better quality than it had ever been: stronger, more organized, and dangerous for anyone who dared to cross us. If any of Heaven's factions wanted a fight, we’d be ready.  _

_ Right now, though, I had a gift for my Queen in our new torture chamber.  _

_ “I've been waiting for a very long time to give this to you. It took some time, but I trust that it's worth the wait.” We paused outside of the door. “Peek through the window.” _

_ I watched as her face went from confusion to stunned surprise. She looked from the window to me, eyes beckoning as if to ask, ‘Can I?’ _

_ I nodded. “All yours, love.” _

*** 

My mother. My  _ mother _ was in the torture chamber. It seemed, without my noticing, she’d died in the five years that had passed on Earth - a stroke, apparently - and had arrived in Hell. I was impressed Finn managed to keep it so top-secret. 

Placing my hand on the door handle, I went to enter. To meet her after all this time. 

Then I stopped. Emotions - Glee, fury, sadness, fear, powerlessness - hit me like the force of a truck and it was all I could do not to fall apart right then and there. 

I’d wanted this for so long. To confront her, to have her face up to everything she did. But, God, it was hard. I may be the formidable, vulnerable and just future Demon Queen of Hell, but, when it came to my mother, I was still very much that little girl of my youth. 

I held my hand out to Finn. “Come in with me? I...I don’t think I can do this alone.” 

***

_ I knew it would be difficult. “You won't have to. I’m with you.” _

_ We walked in together, I before her.  _

_ Her mother, Abigail Dunn, looked as she did before her fatal stroke. Only this time, the stern, haughty facade she put up was revealed for the front that it had always been. She looked smaller, even scared.  _

**_Good._ **

_ Kane and I agreed that, when it was her time to arrive, she wouldn’t go through processing the same as others. She would be high-profile and, for such time until satisfied, exclusively for the Soon-to-be Queen to do as she pleased.  _

_ Today may be just the beginning. _

***

It was a strange, seeing my mother look the way she did now. So pitiful, so shaken...a far cry from the imposing, strong and, above all, terrifying figure I’d known her as. 

“Hello, mother.” I announced my arrival. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? ...Well, more so for me than you. You see, time moves differently here in the afterlife. For you, only five years has passed since the last time we spoke. For me?  _ Six thousand years. _ Can you believe that?”

Her head whipped up to mine, eyes wide. “Te-Teagan!?” 

I smiled a cool smile. “Oh wow, you acknowledge me. I thought you didn’t have a daughter? That is what you told people when they asked whatever happened to me, isn’t it?”

Watching her expression - nothing so far. “A year after you kicked me out and ordered me to leave and never come back, I died. I froze to death in an alley. ...Tell me, when they found my body, did the hospital ever contact you to notify you? ...Did you  _ know _ I was dead?”

She says nothing, face impassive. It’s the only answer I needed. 

“You knew and you refused to even give me a proper burial. That really says it all about you, doesn’t it? Tell me, mother, what did I ever do to deserve such contempt?” 

“You know why. Because you’re  _ you _ , Teagan. You were born bad. I knew it from the first second I laid eyes on you. Oh, I tried my hardest to rid you of that evil, to care for you, but it was all in vain. You couldn’t change, couldn’t be saved. And this proves it!” She gestured towards me. “You’re here. I always said you were doomed to go to Hell when you died and I was right. ‘ _ They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might _ ’. 2 Thessalonians 1:9.” 

It was the same old song and dance I’ve heard a hundred times before in life. However, this time, I was able to look into soul and see the truth behind the words. The truth she’d never say outright. 

Disgusted, I wiped my wet eyes with a shaking hand. Centuries ago, when I was consumed by my hate for this woman, I imagined myself inflicting all kinds of torture on her, while she grovelled on the floor, a broken shadow of her former self. 

But, that’s not what was happening. She was  _ still _ able to break my heart, and I was still weak in that I let her get to me. 

“You say that, mother, but then, you’re here, too. What does that tell you?”

“I do not deserve to be here! I was a good Christian, I followed the scripture and lived a life without sin. There must have been a mistake-” 

“There’s no mistake,” I interrupted. “Every human soul is judged and sentenced by a being called The Undertaker, and not once since humans came into creation has a mistake ever being made. The system is foolproof. If you were good in life, your soul goes to Heaven. And, if you were bad, your soul corrupts and turns black, branding you. Every soul is sent where they deserve to be. And you deserve to be in Hell otherwise you wouldn’t be here.” 

Shaking her head, eyes wide with disbelief, my mother spluttered. “No, that can’t be! There’s been a mistake! I should be in Heaven!”

I directed her to Finn. “In case you were wondering, this is the Demon King. The Devil doesn’t exist anymore, he was killed. Anyway, as the ruler of Hell, he has the final say on what happens to souls who enter this place. If you truly believe you’re innocent, then ask him to read your soul. It won’t take very long, just a touch to the forehead...”

My mother nodded vigorously. “Yes! Yes, please do. The sooner you realise I’m telling the truth, the sooner I can leave this godforsaken place.” 

“Go on, Finn.” I said softly. “See for yourself the life my mother lived.” 

_ And the life I lived. It’ll all be there. _

***

_ I nodded to Teagan and stepped forward. I studied her closely and, shaking my head piteously, I placed a finger to her forehead. _

**_Life in an upscale gated community. Devout Catholic parents. Glowing blonde-haired girl with an angelic smile. Abused and molested by her father. Mother telling her she made him do it, that she asked for it, that she was an evil child that needed God's forgiveness. Threw herself into the Bible. Married a man with the same views as she had. Gave birth to a daughter a year later. Nearly dropped the child when the father tried to place tiny Teagan in her arms._ **

**_“She's all wrong! She's evil! I know it...I don't know if I could ever love her.”_ **

**_Husband hates Teagan, his own child, for ruining his wife's body and because she wasn’t born a boy. She hates her because she reminds her too much of herself as a child...but there’s underlying jealousy as well. Teagan was born bad, just like her, and she would do everything in her power to stop the evil in her, so help her God._ ** __

_ I didn't need to see the rest. It was entirely disgusting from what Teagan’s soul exposed to me. It hurt deeply. _

_ Not even bothering to hide my contempt (but controlling myself just the same), I broke the bad news to Abigail. “You have...one of the blackest souls I’ve ever seen. People like you are the worst of all. You hide behind a mask of holiness and abuse the very people you claim to love and protect. Teagan needed you to love her, show her compassion, guide her to find peace in herself! And you kicked her out and didn't even acknowledge her when she died!  _ **_What kind of fucking mother harms, then abandons, their own child_ ** _?! And not just your child, oh no, you couldn’t stop there. You let your sick  _ **_fuck_ ** _ of a husband rape young women and you helped pay for their silence! You helped a pedophile priest molest young boys!” _

_ I took a calming breath and looked her dead in the eyes. “No. There was no mistake. You belong here in Hell. Because even if God was in Heaven - and he’s not, by the way - he wouldn’t want you. Just as you didn’t want Teagan.” _

_ ***  _

His gaze was fire and vengeance as he turned to me. “Anything you wish to say, say it.” 

Nodding, I stepped forward and stared long and hard at mother. I studied her expression, tried to see some semblance of the innocent little girl she started out as. Some sign that there was something salvageable. 

I saw none. That little girl was gone and in her place was a black-hearted void who took her unhappiness out on the world. 

I knew what I had to do.  

“I know of your life. How grandfather molested you and grandmother blamed you. I won’t ignore how it broke you, how you’re a victim who was failed by society. If there was any justice in the world, someone would have helped you, saved you from going down the path you eventually took. And, for that, I’m sorry.”

“But.” I said, tone hardening. “You are not that poor child anymore. You’re a grown woman who knows right from wrong. There’s a point where you stop being the victim and become just as bad as the one who abused you and you, mother, crossed that line a long, long time ago. You can lie to yourself, you can lie to the rest of the world, but you cannot run or hide from the eyes of Heaven and Hell. You are  _ guilty. _ ”

My mother said nothing. I think, even now, she wouldn’t listen. It would take nothing short of divine intervention to reach this woman. 

“Look at me, Abigail. I am not the Teagan you used to know. That girl died five years ago on Earth, when you cast her out into the world, all alone and defenseless. I am what became of her, when she fell to Hell, seeking Oblivion, and was offered so much more.” My eyes glowed red before her then. “I am the future Demon Queen and you will pay for the sins you committed in life.” 

That got a reaction. Yes, after going out of her way to tell her child how she was bound for all the tortures of Hell, I imagine it would come quite as a shock to find out she was running the place. Of course, knowing her, she’d just reason it was proof she was right all along. 

“Lucky for you, mother, the old me wouldn’t want to see you suffer. Despite everything you did to her, she, until her dying breath, loved you with the unconditional love only a child can have for their parents. A love you used against her for your own selfish means her entire life. So, out of respect for the human Teagan Dunn, I will grant you two mercies.  _ One: _ I will not harm you. I will not lay so much of a finger on you. And  _ Two: _ I will free you from this place. I will grant you the sweet release of Oblivion.”  

I narrowed my eyes as I saw her relief. “You seem to be misunderstanding me. I said  _ I _ wouldn’t hurt you. I said nothing about the Demon King.” My mother balked as what I was saying dawned on her. That she wasn’t getting off scot-free.   

“She’s all yours. Call me when you’re through with her.” I muttered to Finn as I made my way past him to leave. 

*** 

_ “With great pleasure, love.”  _

_ The moment the door clicked shut, I grinned wickedly upon the terrified woman “Abigail Joanna Windmere-Dunn, you have been weighed on the scales and found lacking. On the sins of child endangerment, abuse and neglect, and numerous profane activities committed in the name of God, you are hereby judged and sentenced to torment before facing Oblivion.”  _

_ I approached slowly, looking every bit the monster, as she cowered into a nearby corner.  _

_ “This is going to hurt.  _ **_A lot_ ** _.” _

*** 

“You released her?  _ Why!? _ ”

When Kane found out I’d granted my mother Oblivion, he was nothing short of befuddled and disappointed.

I stared off into the distance. “Because...it was what was best for me. It was what I wanted.” 

“But the same day she arrived? You should have punished her for at least a century! She got off too easy!” 

I shook my head. “Finn handled her punishment personally. Have you ever known him to go easy on a void?” Kane stayed silent. He knew I was right. “I don’t expect you to understand, but please at least trust me when I say he saw to it that she atoned for her sins.” 

Apparently, by the time he was finished and his fury was stated, my mother was begging to be released. A request that Finn was more than happy to fulfill.

Kane grumbled. He wasn’t happy, but what could he do about it? “You’re too nice. The voids here don’t deserve Oblivion. They deserve to suffer, to be food, and to be playthings for the groundlings.”

“Mercy is not a weakness, Kane. It is a kindness, one that shows we are better than Heaven. We are doing what they refuse to.” I placate him. “And besides, you know as well as I do that I only bestow Oblivion onto the voids who show contrition or have properly atoned for their sins. I don’t think that is so wrong. Redemption isn’t something you see very often here. It should be rewarded.” 

Noticing how letdown he looked, I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Oh, cheer up, Kane. Look, how about this? When my father arrives here, you can play with him for as long as you want. Happy?” 

He grinned. Oh that made him  _ very _ happy.

* 

There’s a famous saying that goes ‘ _ Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. _ ’ 

Well, after my mother arrived in Hell and then had her soul snapped out of existence, Hell hath no fury than a pissed off Teagan Dunn. While Finn dealt with my mother, I proceeded to hunt down my grandfather and grandmother and make damn sure they regretted the part they played in their daughter’s descent to Hell. 

And my father? My father who raped countless women? Who stood back and let my mother abuse me, and even encouraged it and participated in it? Who could have saved my mother if he’d been a good man who did something,  _ anything _ , but instead dragged her down and made her worse? 

He would not be shown the same mercy and restraint my mother was. 

As Finn loved to say, arrangements were already in place.

“Regal had a truly wicked idea today. Shocked even me.” I said to Finn after going over wedding preparations with Summer Rae. I personally wasn’t too fussed, but everyone insisted that, as Queen, I must have a big, showy wedding. If not for myself, then, at the very least, to rub it in Stephanie McMahon’s face. So I relented. 

“He thinks we should postpone the wedding until my father arrives. When he does, we invite him as the ‘guest of honor’ and then, at the wedding reception, properly ‘introduce’ him to our big, happy family before ending the night with a blood orgy. With the blood so kindly been provided by him as his wedding gift.” 

“Thoughts?” 

***

_  “Hmmm…” I pretended to ponder this for a while, as if I wasn’t ecstatic and totally on board with the idea.  _

_ As if I wasn’t thrilled at this woman becoming my Queen and being just as ruthless as I am. _

_ I gave a perfunctory nod. “Yes, I'm completely amenable to this idea. Only on the condition that you and I flay him first. You know, like cutting the cake together.” I smirked. _

*** 

I grinned. Only Finn could take a great idea and make it even better. “Oh yeah, totally.”

“So, it’s decided. Lovely! Until then, we carry on with business as normal.” I said cheerfully, as if Finn and I had not just being discussing my father’s upcoming torture. “Oh and let’s not forget our weekly day off from Hell. I always look forward to those. I’m thinking a beach on Bali...” 

And then, hand in hand, Finn and I, the Demon King and his Queen, walked out into our kingdom.

This eternal, Hellish life of ours wasn’t perfect...but it was pretty damn close.

***

_ Of course, that’s not what happened. Teagan’s life wasn’t over just yet. Instead, her life is headed down a far different path. _

_ However, regardless of the scenario, there’s one thing that will never change and it’s this: _

_ The Demon King  _ **_will_ ** _ have Teagan Dunn. _

 


	32. Just by Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amazing what a few words can do...

_ Two months on Earth had gone by. And what a two months it had been.  _

_ It was quiet, for the most part. Nothing insane arose from Heaven nor Hell (although Bray Wyatt had to be put in check once more...strike two).  _

_ Work had improved considerably. Our projections climbed steadily as morale improved. (Turns out that removing Paige and Alberto from the picture made the work environment a lot less toxic.) Regal and I created and implemented new, tougher training programs for new demons. Corey Graves, having survived the ‘fast track’, was one of the first students to undergo the new curriculum. Surprisingly, he was one of the few that passed with flying colors.  _

_ Meanwhile, Teagan and I saw our bond blossoming into a beautiful relationship. We had Lego project days and movie nights. We made meals together, and even took a romantic couples’ cooking class. We kissed and fell asleep in each other’s arms.  _

_ It was all so... _ **_innocent_ ** _. Which was very different for me. Yet, I  _ **_liked_ ** _ the change.  _

_ Teagan was slowly improving. The support classes she’d been attending were helping a great deal. She hadn't quite made friends yet, but she spoke to people more frequently. Baby steps.  _

_ In other words, everything is going according to plan. _

*** 

Two months… It was hard to believe that two months had gone by. It felt like only yesterday Finn and I were having breakfast together and officially becoming a couple...

I guess the saying ‘Time flies by when you’re having fun’ really is true. 

A lot of things had changed these past two months - I was much more confident, I socialized more, and I was making leaps and bounds with my therapy - the biggest being my relationship with Finn. 

I used to think it was only a matter of time until it all came crashing down. Until Finn found someone better and left me. 

But, that’s not what happened. We stuck together, we became even closer. Finn moved in (he still had his apartment. We tended to stay there some nights), we started sharing the same bed together, our chaste kisses progressed to steamy makeout sessions. Though we’d only known each other for all but two months, to us, it felt like it’d been years.

Of course, that wasn’t to say everything was smooth sailing. There was one major problem… 

“Finn… I have to tell you something.” I announced out of the blue to him one Tuesday evening. “It’s...erm...it’s kind of weird, though…” 

We’d just called it a night and got settled into bed. I felt sick in a nauseous way, a feeling that’s becoming all too common because I know that, no matter how much we kiss, no matter how much we cuddle, that’s as far as it’ll go. 

I cannot have sex with Finn because my religion forbids it. And because I cannot have sex, I cannot satisfy him. I was failing him. 

And it’s killing me inside. 

*** 

_ Something was off about Teagan tonight.  _

_ She looked genuinely worried about something and, naturally, it troubled me. I was ready to help in any way.  _

_ “Talk to me, Teagan. What's got you worried?”  _

_ Before she said anything, I hazard a knowingly incorrect guess. “Is it because...I’m stealing the covers again?” _

*** 

I let out a quick laugh, appreciating what he was trying to do. I couldn’t bring myself to laugh back with him. “No, no…” 

Gulping, I gathered myself, then told him what I wanted to say. “I’ve been thinking lately that, erm…” I averted my eyes. “Listen, if…if you want to…  _ Christ _ …” This was harder than I expected.

I tried again, this time succeeding. “If you want to see other women to, you know, sleep with them. Or, if you want to end what we have...I want you to know that it’s okay. I understand. You have urges, and I wish I could be the one who fulfills them, and I...” 

I trailed off and hung my head, ashamed.

“I can’t be what I want to be for you. You  deserve  _ so much _ better than what you’re getting from me. I...I’m sorry.” 

*** 

_ “Hey, no... that’s not true at all,” I gently refuted, pulling her close. “I could never do that to you, Teagan. And you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a delicate matter for you, and I understand that. I know what I signed up for, and I’ll tell you again and again: I’m not going anywhere.”  _

_ I kissed the top of her head, nuzzling in the softness of her hair. “Besides, you’re more than enough for me. I love cuddling and kissing you - both are especially fun. That and, not to be TMI or anything, I take care of my own urges just fine, thank you very much,” I added with a chuckle.  _

_ “Point is, as nice as it would be, you mean more to me than you know. And you’re worth waiting for.” _

*** 

I started to tear up. Why did Finn have to be so nice and understanding? It made me feel even more guilty than I already did. 

“You shouldn’t have to. It’s not fair on you. You should be with a woman who can make you happy, in every sense of the word. Not me.” My tears started to drop. “I’ve literally been wracking my brain on getting around this somehow. I thought, okay, so we can’t have sex, but maybe we do all the other stuff? But oral sex before marriage is a sin. So, then I got really desperate and thought, ‘Let’s get married. It’s just some certificate and we can divorce the next day.’ But that’s crazy and we’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons and it’d still be a sin! I...I can’t even pleasure you or myself because masturbation is sin, too. Everything is a goddamn sin, it’s too much!” 

I buried my face in my hands. “You probably don’t believe me, but this is torture for me.” I mumbled. 

Finn wasn’t tied down to his religion. He could masturbate or have sex anytime he wanted. Not me. And, while before I could handle the urges - just barely - now it was nothing short of unbearable. I was a tightly wound spring and I feared it was only a matter of time until I snapped and damned my immortal soul. 

*** 

_ “Teagan, look at me.” _

_ She met my eyes slowly, reluctantly. I proceeded gingerly, light-hearted yet firm. _

_ “First thing, if we got married, I'd have a hell of a time dissolving that. Kinda like the idea of being yours forever, but no need to be hasty.”  _

_ “Second, and I cannot stress this enough, masturbation is definitely not a sin. There's only one account of masturbation having consequences, and that's only because a guy pulled out and released on the ground rather than impregnate the woman like God told him to. That's it. People took that way out of hand. It's put people off from getting to know what they like and what they don't.  _

_ “And third - I'd love to get to the good stuff, and know it's something you want just as much. I'm never going to push you into something you're not ready for, and neither should you. You're worth more than that to me. However, if it's still difficult, I do know ways to... provide the same feeling. Some of them, without ever touching you.” _

*** 

Well, Finn wasn’t wrong there - technically speaking, the Bible didn’t explicitly mention masturbation or whether it was a sin. However, I’m pretty sure it was listed in the category of lust... 

I closed my eyes. Much of Christianity’s - especially Catholicism - outlook on sex came from Paul the Apostle, who, while accepting sex after marriage, believed everyone should be celibate because it brought you closer to Godliness. There was no greater reward. 

I didn’t feel closer to God. I felt nothing but frustration, guilt, and unhappiness.  

After hearing Finn’s suggestion, I raised a very skeptical eyebrow. I wasn’t quite sure I believed him, but I’d take what I’d get. “...What ways?” 

“Wait, no, no! This is wrong! It should be me thinking of ways to help you!” I protested. “How can you be so understanding, Finn!? Why aren’t you sitting there and getting impatient with me or thinking, “ _ You bitch, you’re so selfish and such a cocktease _ ”!? Because that’s what everyone else is thinking, you know! They’re all judging me!”  

*** __

_ “Because I’m not them,” I fired back with amiable certainty. “Because anyone who says that without knowing what you’re going through is an insensitive asshole. Because if they call you a bitch or a cocktease, I’ll end them. And because it’s just you and me now, no one else. Fuck everyone else.” _

_ That made her laugh a little. I added, with a mischievous glint in my eye. “Also, if you really wanted to know, one of my favorite methods is just by talking. No touching at all. Just...  _ **_talking_ ** _.” _

_ Her eyes widened when I smirked, cheeks turning a light pink.  _

_ Joking aside, I asked her, “What do  _ **_you_ ** _ want, Teagan? Barring everything else, barring everyone’s issues...what do  _ **_you_ ** _ want?” _

*** 

“I want to make you happy.” I reached out and clutched his hand. “In every way I can. I don’t want you to have to settle for less. I just...I really want to take things to the next level for us.” I sighed deeply. “But, it’s sinful. I know how ridiculous I must sound, but it’s my religion we’re talking about. My immortal soul depends on how good a Christian I am. And since the Bible forbids sex before marriage, I just can’t do it. I can’t and I  _ hate _ it.” 

“And...I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but I do. It really gets to me. I was telling my support group all about you and, when they heard we’d been together for two months and I was saving myself for marriage… You didn’t see the look on some of their faces. They didn’t say it, but I could tell what they were thinking. ‘ _ It won’t last _ ’, ‘ _ He’s going to cheat on her _ ’, ‘ _ No man would agree to go without sex _ ’...” 

“And then I went onto this online relationship forum for advice… The majority called me selfish. That it’s unfair of me to enter a relationship with someone who didn’t share my religious views and expect them to commit. That, if I really cared about you, I’d either let you go or compromise to satisfy your sexual needs. That I’m a  _ bad _ girlfriend!” 

Despite Finn’s attempt to cheer me up, I started to cry again. “I’m so sorry, I feel terrible.” 

***  

_ “Shhhh, it’s alright,” I comforted. “You have nothing to apologize for. Those people don't know me, those magazines don’t know me. They don't know what I like or don’t. And they don’t know you either. Most importantly, they don’t know  _ **_us_ ** _. None of them do. Because you, dear Teagan...I don’t even feel like I deserve you half the time. You’re wonderful, kind, intelligent... you’re amazing to me, and you give me more than I could ever ask for.”  _

_ Drying her tears, I took her hand and placed it over my heart. “Feel that? It's pretty quick. It’s been that way from the moment I met you. I show you this because it’s been two months and you haven’t done anything that would stop this from slowing down. And I love that. I love that you let me in, that you give me a chance every day to make you happy. With that, I don’t give a single flying fuck what anyone thinks. They don’t do this to me, not like you do. You have me, remember?” _

*** 

I nodded. It helped to hear that. It didn’t completely do away with my feelings of guilt and shame, but it still made me feel a bit better that Finn was still happy to be with me. 

Wiping my eyes, I gave a bitter smile. “I’m trying so hard to be a good Christian and follow the rules, but...I don’t know, it doesn't feel worth it. No matter what I do, I don’t feel any better. If anything, it’s making me feel worse. ...No wonder my mother was never happy…”  

Sighing, I tried to wipe my mind of such thoughts. “Soooo…talking, huh? You mean dirty talk?” I couldn’t stop the blush on my cheeks. 

_ Talking is okay so long as I don’t actually do anything, right? It doesn’t count as lust, right? _

*** 

_ Recognizing her need to change the subject, I responded to her question with the biggest Cheshire Cat grin I could summon.  _

_ “Something like that. Of course, it doesn't have to be dirty to work. I can easily recite poetry and get results. It's not really about  _ **_what_ ** _ I say, but  _ **_how_ ** _ I say it that makes a difference. Want a demonstration?” _

*** 

“Oh, good. I don’t think I could do dirty talk,” I laughed, still blushing. 

I knew, if I attempted to talk dirty to Finn, I’d fall apart within seconds. If I didn’t turn into a giggling mess, I’d stutter non-stop and only make a fool of myself. Truth be told, it’d never done much for me. 

But a man telling a woman that she belonged to him, to be a good girl and do everything he ordered or suffer the consequences? Much to my shame, definitely. 

“Sure.” I hesitated, then asked, “You sure this is okay?” 

*** 

_ “If you’re uncomfortable at all, I’ll stop. I promise you,” I smiled. “And yes, this is very okay. You trust me?” _

***

I nodded. Of course I trusted him. After all the two of us had been through, there’s nothing I wouldn’t trust Finn with. 

“Okay. Show me.” 

*** 

_ “Alright then. Turn away from me, lie down on your side. Going into this, don’t overthink anything, don’t doubt anything, just relax your mind...and _ **_feel_ ** _. Everything I say is meant for you to  _ **_feel_ ** _. And if you need something to grab on to, ask for my hand. Alright?” _

*** 

“Okay…” I nodded again, a mixture of curiosity and excitement welling inside me. I thought Finn would simply say it to my face, but this sounded a lot more intense… 

Following his orders, I laid down on my side, back facing him.

Then I waited, eyes on my hands.  

*** 

_ I was willing to bet that, while she wasn’t into dirty talk, she absolutely had an aural kink. Which meant that she would be very responsive to voice - with the right tone, the right pace, even the right words, she could lose control without even a finger on her.  _

_ It’s something of a specialty.  _

_ So I tested this idea first in a low, soft, almost dark tone, “Good girl. Such a good girl.” _

*** 

I felt myself tense up. It was all I could not to turn around and go “ _ How did you know!? _ ” Despite my efforts to hide my sick kinks, had I given myself away? Or was Finn just testing the waters? Even if it was the latter, why those words? Why- 

Immediately, I realised I was doing exactly what he’d told me not to do: Overthinking. Doubting. Worrying. 

So, I tried to do what he had asked me to do and that was just to relax and listen and feel.

“Erm… Do you want me to say anything, or should I keep silent?” I asked, unsure.  

***

_ “You can speak if you like, I won’t stop you,” I replied. “Shall I continue?” _

*** 

“Yes.” I replied in a small voice. 

_ Okay, just do as he says. Relax.  _ **_Feel._ ** __

*** 

_ So I went on. “I want you to listen to everything I say. Hang on to my every word. I’m going to tell you a story. Let the words enfold you like a soft blanket, or delicate silk against your skin. I want you to feel my words everywhere, from head to toe. Let my words fill you.” _

***

I closed my eyes, letting myself only hear Finn’s voice. 

I’d said it before, but he really would make a killing at producing autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) videos. They weren’t a thing on Youtube for no reason, after all, and his calm, soft voice was definitely soothing me. 

(For the record, my favorite ASMRs involve clicking keyboards and the sound of high heels walking. Finn, however, might overtake them for the number one spot.) 

*** 

_ “Hmmm... come to think of it, I like the idea of silk against your skin. A deep red cut, no bigger than a handkerchief. Soft, light, smooth. Just a single strip of it moving and alive as I talk, dancing along your arm, sliding along every finger, finding every sensitive spot before it climbed to your neck. Your neck is beautiful, did I mention? It’s one of my favorite places to kiss and nibble...but I can’t do that right now. So the silk grazes at the places on your neck that make you shiver and sigh...” _

*** 

I pictured it all in my head. The dark red handkerchief trailing all over my body, so light that I barely felt it ghosting over my skin. It was pleasant to the touch, and, if it were bigger, I’d probably wrap my whole body in it. 

What made me shiver and sigh? I honestly didn’t know, I’d never explored my body before, either by myself or with a man…

*** 

_ “...and if you aren’t sure where the rest of them are, then the silk will gladly figure it out. It touches your cheeks and traces the outline of your lips. I love those as well. Full and sweet. I would kiss you forever, if you let me...” _

***

“You… You can if you want to…” I whispered.

I turned around so I was now facing Finn. He sat, leaning one arm on the bed, looking down at me, smirking slightly. 

Was this okay? Or was I just teasing him? There was so many things romantic things I wanted to do with him but had lost the courage because those I talked to said it would make it only harder for him given the no-sex stipulation. And maybe they were right, but, if I couldn’t do that much, what good was I? 

***

_ “Ah, but then I won’t finish my story…” I lowered my head until we were practically sharing breaths, mouths an inch apart. “And your lips...are so distracting. In a good way. The best kind of way. Because I’m so tempted to kiss you while the silk keeps traveling along your body, going everywhere I imagine…” _

*** 

“Like where?” I breathed, so tempted to reach up and kiss his lips. 

*** 

_ “Like…the space between your perfect, plush breasts. Not directly on them, not yet. You would feel it circling and sliding against your skin, along that bone...and then...it would just delicately caress them, one after the other, raising each nipple until you felt it as the skin tugged just so…then it would move lower...” _

*** 

I rested the fingers of my right hand in the space between my breasts.  “Lower?” I don’t know why I was asking, we both know where he’s talking about. 

Still, I’m starting to get caught up in the moment a little…

***

_ “Not much lower. There’s time. But your stomach... just an entire plane of your skin for it to sweep and expand...it tickles a little, but it focuses more on your sides. No tickling there though, just tracing up and down, circling around your waist, ends twirling at your hips…” _

*** 

My fingers trailed down, following the same path in his words. First the flat of my stomach, then my sides, my fingers coming to a stop just at the cut-off point. Any lower and we’d be entering dangerous territory.

I continued the repetitive motion, eyes closed. Finn’s voice remained low and gentle, just as effective a buzz as the story he told. 

***

_ “The silk pauses, just above...a very sacred place. Sliding just over it so as not to disturb, a whisper of a touch, it moves along your left thigh, circling and swirling, in love with the curve and stretch as it extends to your knee. It plays there for a while until you feel the warmth it creates…” _

*** 

I felt that warmth - a pleasant tingling - fill my body, especially as my fingers danced along my leg. I yearned to return to my thighs, my inner thighs to be exact, but I controlled myself in the nick of time. 

*** 

_ I let out a quiet chuckle. “Such a good girl, following along with the story…you have a place in you mind where you want the silk to travel next, don’t you? No need to answer. It already knows. It knows where you’re ticklish, where you’re sensitive...it knows exactly where you need it most. It jumps to your right thigh, warming it as well with its friction. You can feel the warmth rising this time, creeping upward…” _

***

I bit my lip.  _ Good girl. There he goes again. _

It was getting  _ very hard _ at this point to control myself. The silk’s imaginary journey was starting to be felt very much and it was all I could do not to touch myself there, to go from thighs to that ‘special place’ which the silk could drive wild-

Unable to take it, I grabbed Finn’s hand for dear life. I couldn’t do anything if both my hands were occupied! 

***

_ “Is it too much?” I whispered to her, lips still hovering. “Should I tell it to stop? It’s so close now, just circling...it’s so warm...it’s just following my words, going where I can’t. There’s a way to stop it. I’ve held off for so long because, if I kiss you, it disappears... Should I stop it?” _

*** 

“I… I don’t know.” I choked out. On one hand, yes, I wanted it to stop. Because it was too much to handle if I stayed as I was, and, if I didn’t, if I touched myself, then I feared it’d be a slippery slope for me. If I made exceptions for this, I’d make exceptions for other things, until I just wasn’t doing what I was supposed to anymore. 

On the other, no, because it felt  _ so damn good _ … 

*** 

_ “You feel it building. I know you do. Dancing along your inner thighs, just shy of that sacred place. So warm...and it keeps building...the silk circles faster, and faster, and faster until it becomes too much. You’re just there, on the edge of something. The silk is guiding you there. It waits for you to decide…” _

*** 

How cruel. Can’t he see I cannot decide? 

It’d be so easy to take it from here, to finish the job. But, every time I considered it, I found myself plagued with doubt. It’d be wrong, right? 

And yet...Finn was right in saying that masturbation wasn’t mentioned in the Bible… So, if I were to engage in it, it technically wouldn’t be a sin. Just like kissing, I could at least do this, if only to make it a little easier, to stop me.

After a few more seconds of indecision, I made up my mind. 

Eyes shut, my left hand left Finn’s and burrowed between my legs. I clamped my thighs around it as my fingers started to touch where I hadn’t touched for so very long. 

***

_ I couldn’t breathe for a moment. Watching Teagan touch herself was, literally, the most breathtaking image. “Oh, what a good girl…so good. The silk brushes against your fingers, spinning against it, showing you how to move them within this sacred place. Follow it. Trust it.” _

*** 

Turning over so I was on my back rather than my side, I rubbed my index and middle finger over the lips of my vagina, teasing but not entering. I continued to focus on Finn’s voice all the while. 

Women were not like men when it comes to self-pleasure. It didn’t come so easily, everyone was different and it took time and practice to find out what worked for them. 

Luckily, I already knew. I’d discovered it during puberty, when such feelings were new and confusing, when I thought I could explore myself so long as I went to confession afterwards and begged for forgiveness. 

I didn’t need sex toys, and I didn’t need to watch normal porn. All I needed was my hand and my sick, little imagination. 

Eyes closed, I pretended I was blindfolded and Finn was above me, teasing me. I wasn’t allowed to open my eyes until he was satisfied with my performance. Until I’d proven how much of a good girl I was for him… 

_ Shit, I shouldn’t be thinking this. I need to stop…! _

But, I couldn’t. It was too late to turn back now. 

***

_ I was transfixed. ”Beautiful, Teagan,” I breathed. “Good girl. You’re doing so well. You’re so beautiful…” Praise poured from my mouth like water as I lay on my side, watching her. _

_ “I wonder what you’re feeling about as the silk guides you along, Teagan. Can you tell me?” _

***

“Good, so good…” I murmured. “It’s too much, I had to do something. If I didn’t, I was going to lose it..” 

“I wish it could be you.”

***

_ “Fuck, I want that too. I want to touch you so badly...” My voice came out a bit rougher than intended. “But watching you right now... it's so amazing. You're probably so close right now.” _

*** 

I was, mainly because it had been so long since I’d touched myself like this. A whole  _ year _ to be exact. A year of waking up sexually frustrated and then going back to sleep still sexually frustrated because I couldn’t do anything about it. 

My fingers slipped in past my wet vaginal lips, then out again. Then in, then out. Again and again, picking up speed, exploring myself. 

Already that mounting pressure was there…

*** 

_ “I wonder... what would happen if I kissed you,” I whispered. “Or teased at it just a little. Because I do want to, you know. But I want to wait until you can't take anymore…”  _

_ She kept moving her hand and, though I couldn't see, I knew it was getting intense for her. Probably good that I didn't use dirty talk for this - this beautiful sight would have been over too quickly. _

*** 

“Kiss me.” I begged. “Please, I can’t take it anymore.”

I wasn’t just saying that for the heck of it. My movements had gotten rougher and that tingling sensation, like a pressure cooker, was going up and up. Any minute now, I was going to explode and it was all going to be over for me. 

***

_ She begs so prettily. Who am I to deny her? _

_ Once more, leaning in closer, I spoke to her. “Good girl.”  _

_ I slid my mouth over hers in a hard, passionate kiss. Our tongues caressed and her moans filled my mouth as she started to fall apart.  _

_ Fuck me, it was  _ **_glorious_ ** _. _

*** 

As if he’d know, he kissed me at just the right time, the  _ exact  _ moment I reached my limit and my body lost itself.

My free hand rested atop of Finn’s head, pulling him closer. I wanted to taste him, I wanted to pretend that it was  _ him  _ making my toes curl, my mouth gape open wide again this lips. 

_ Oh God…! Finn!  _

And, just like that, it had passed. My hand left my core, I released Finn, and I opened my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. 

*** 

_ I pulled away slowly, studied her face as she opened her eyes. Flushed, panting, and trembling.  _

_ It’s not as though I'd never seen someone in the throes of orgasm. I'd usually been the cause.  _

_ But seeing Teagan fall apart by her own hand? It was stunning.  _

_ Of course, her guilt will likely set in at any time. But that’s to be expected. This wouldn't be an overnight change for her. _

*** 

My heart pounding, I lay on the bed wanting nothing more than to close my eyes and sleep. They say masturbation wakes you up, but I disagreed. I was spent. 

And then the rush wore off… 

Sitting up, I stared down at my hand, which carried with it the scent of my arousal. It was a reminder of what I had done, how I had given into temptation. 

“Oh God…” I moaned. “I-I shouldn't have done that.” 

I didn't blame Finn. I blamed myself. He gave me the choice to continue or stop and I’d chosen wrong. I was weak, I wanted to cheat, and I’d jumped on the first excuse I could without making sure it was true or false. How could I? After a year of reigning myself in, how could I do this? 

Shame and embarrassment filled me. I couldn’t believe I’d actually pleasured myself in front of Finn. How ridiculous must I have looked?

***

_ And there it was. The guilt that inevitably arose after breaking a religious promise. Catholicism is a fucking curse. _

_ “What you did...was nothing to be ashamed about,” I gently assured. “It’ll take some time for you to understand, and that's okay. You’ll still have me. And honestly, I'm glad you shared such a vulnerable moment with me. You were beautiful. You never have to worry about what I’ll think because you know that you can trust me. I’m not going anywhere.” _

*** 

I buried myself against Finn’s chest. It was comforting to know that, come rain or shine, I’d have him by my side (but for how long? How long could he put up with me?) 

I really didn’t deserve him. 

“I'm sorry. I wish I could love you the way you deserve.” I apologised, hugging him. “I never thought it’d be this hard. I was stupid.” 

“I don't want to lose you, but I’m scared I will.” I said in a small voice. 

*** 

_ “You won’t, lovely. I promise.” I pulled back just enough to kiss her sweetly on the lips. She truly had become precious to me. But I’d never say the word aloud - the Gollum references would be too much.  _

_ “And...you love me. That's more than enough. We’re okay, you and me. My love isn't conditional. It’s there's just because you’re you.”  _

_ We lay down, holding each other. “I'm ready when you're ready for me. Just be patient with yourself. I’ll be here. I’m not leaving you.”  _

_ ***  _

I nodded, still a little unconvinced, but eager to believe Finn’s words regardless. Two months ago, if Finn had left me, while incredibly sad, I would have moved past it. I always figured he would eventually. 

But now? Finn was as much a part of my life as breathing. If he were to go...it’d absolutely break my heart. I’d feel lost without him. 

_...Is this what falling in love feels like?  _

Deciding it was much too soon to consider such things after two months, I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes. 

“Night, Finn. Sleep well.” 

***

_ Kissing her forehead, I replied, “Sweet dreams, Teagan.” I massaged her scalp until she fell asleep. I stayed up for a while longer, just to watch her face, before I finally shut down myself.  _

_ By morning I’d be gone, off to work before she woke up. But I’d made a habit of making sure she had breakfast and coffee every morning - my way to wish her a great day. _


	33. Sweets for the Sweet

Since Finn moved in, the two of us had established something of a routine. He handled breakfast (he’d converted me to his pancakes, though every now and then I’d whip up my scromlette eggs), and we both did dinner together. 

And lunch? That was on me.

Well...lunchtime  _ snacks _ , I should say. Finn still ate at the cafe at his firm, because anything I made couldn’t compete with the food there. Seriously. One time, their special of the day was lobster.  _ Lobster! _

So I baked instead. I always made enough for both Finn and Mr. Regal, and with extra to spare for everybody else at the firm. 

Today was brownies. Finn liked those. 

I texted him at 1:00pm to make sure he wasn’t too busy. 

_ Hey, would it be okay if I stopped by to see you? Made some brownies. Plus, I have something to show you!! :)  _

_ ***  _

_ I was typing up a memo for the upcoming Field Leadership Retreat (a week of team building, seminars, and a blood orgy at the end) when I received a text from Teagan.  _

_ I wrote back:  _

**_Brownies and a surprise, huh? Looking forward to it. ;-)_ **

**_Cafè in 30?_ **

_ ***  _

_ Sounds good! See you in a bit! _

Pocketing my phone, I put the brownies into a Tupperware box, then stashed the ‘surprise’ I had in store for Finn into a rucksack. 

I reached Finn’s firm quickly, quicker than expected. No problem, I’d just get some coffee at the cafe…

I stared at the special of the day. 

**_Chicken risotto?_ ** _ What is this place? A cafe or a Michelin restaurant?  _

_ ***  _

_ I stood up at Teagan’s figure walked through the door. Walking up to meet her halfway, I greeted her with a kiss and led her to the table.  _

_ “Just in time! I was about to grab lunch. Hungry? I hear the chicken risotto is amazing.”  _

_ ***  _

“This is the fanciest cafe I’ve ever been to.” I laughed, nodding my head at his suggestion for lunch. “I think I’ll try that chicken risotto. When eating out, I always try to have something I know I’ll never make at home.” 

Queuing up in line, I interlocked my hand with Finn’s. “Having a good day so far?” 

*** 

_ “Pretty great, kinda busy,” I admitted. “Helping to plan a leadership retreat, ironing out details for a possible expansion, and working with Regal to create new training programs for the staff.”  _

_ We stopped and placed our orders at the counter. “How about you?” _

*** 

“Pretty good. Really excited to show you what I’ve bought today. Hoping you like it.” I hesitated. “And feeling guilty about what I did last night. I’m planning to go to confession, so that’ll fix that. ...Problem is, I feel guilty, but I don’t regret it. I...I  _ liked _ it.” 

I frowned. Did that ruin my chances of being absolved? I hoped not. 

“I’ve also got some ideas in my head on romantic things we could do, but...I don’t know, I don’t want to make this any harder for you. I don’t want you to think I’m teasing you…” 

*** 

_ We walked our food back to the table and I took her hand. “I wish you didn’t feel guilty, although not regretting it is a good start. Last night was...it was honestly amazing. I liked seeing you come out of your shell a bit. It was intimate, it was fascinating, and we tried something new. Besides…I  _ **_like_ ** _ when you tease me,” I confessed in a husky whisper, and winked. _

_ “Plus I tease you right back anyway, so it’s at least mutual. I’d love to hear your ideas. We’ll figure this out together, like we have been.” _

*** 

Blushing - Finn’s count had gone from twelve to over thirty in the last two months while mine had remained a measly three - we sat down and started eating our food. The risotto was every bit as nice as it looked. 

“Just between you and me, Finn, I...I’m really struggling with my faith right now.” I confessed. “It’s just… The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems. I’m following the rules of a book that was written since Biblical times - and not even by God! I know, I know, it was written by humans spreading His word, but...He created the world, He created life, you mean to tell me He couldn’t write His own goddamn holy book!?” 

Unable to stop myself, I laughed bitterly. “I read the Bible and God never shuts up. He’s always revealing Himself to humans. But now? Nothing! At some point, He just stopped talking and…I need a sign, Finn. I need God to give me a sign that He actually exists and I’m not wasting my time. That...that my parents didn’t abuse me over nothing. ...You know?” 

I couldn’t tell any of this to Father Cody or anyone at church. The religious extremists would probably call me a blasphemer. As for the rest, they’d just tell me that God was there, even if it didn’t feel that way. Which was nice, but it didn’t make me feel any better. 

*** 

_ There are moments where I wish I could tell someone the truth about Heaven, Hell, the whole nine yards. This is one of those moments, mainly because...well, she wasn’t wrong.  _

_ God stopped talking to humanity after Revelation because John wasn’t getting the message correct. He was talking about the inevitable final battle between himself and his fallen son, but John kept trying to write humans as the heroes and a teacher named Yeshua into it, kind of like he was saying, “Here’s what’s in it for us when you win, God!”  _

_ John was an asshole. And, in the end, God just tossed His hands in the air and walked off in a huff.  _

_ But she wasn’t ready, not by a long shot. Baby steps.  _

_ “I can understand that. I’ve read it multiple times and it still doesn’t quite connect as a complete narrative of God, so how people make up so many difficult rules to live by based on a few words and a wealth of outdated ideas is beyond me.”  _

_ I took a bite of my food. “Plus, it leaves you - and so many others - out in the cold. It’s like, ‘accept or perish with the nonbelievers’, but where’s the compassion for those in your flock? Father Cody seems exceptional though. He’s really been helping you in the healing process,” I pointed out. _

*** 

I nodded in agreement. “Father Cody is great. You can tell he really cares and he’s so open-minded and accepting. I wish I had him as my priest growing up, I probably wouldn’t have the problems I have now. ...Neither would my mother, come to think of it.” 

I then shrugged. “Or maybe not. Some people only hear what they want to. Chances are, if our priest had been like Father Cody, my mother and the rest of her Bible-bashing friends would have caused an uproar and gotten rid of him. I mean, a priest who is cool with LGBT? And who thinks abortion is a right, not a sin? Madness!” 

“...Maybe I should become a Satanist? I mean, everyone is welcome, so it doesn’t discriminate, and it encourages sex as a freedom of expression provided it’s between consenting adults. The only thing it forbids is bestiality and pedophilia, which is more than can be said for Catholicism, what with their track records of priests diddling little kids. And, hey, if my mother is to be believed, I’m already going to Hell, so might as well get on Satan’s good side before I get there, right?” 

Dropping my fork, I rubbed my temples. “...I’m sorry. I didn’t want to meet you like this, it’s not fair on you.. I’m in a bad place right now - I’m so  _ fed-up _ \- but I’ll be okay once I speak with Father Cody. It’s just… How fucked up is it that  _ Satanism _ sounds like a better option than Christianity? It shouldn’t be that way!”  

***

_ “It shouldn’t be, you're right,” I agreed. “You’d be amazed by how many good people exist outside of Christian faiths that live in the fringe. And all of them feel the way you do. More people like Father Cody are definitely needed. Talk to him, it'll do you good.”  _

_ I kissed the back of her hand. “Crisis of faith aside for a moment, to what do I owe the honor of your lovely face visiting me here?” _

*** 

I smiled, reaching into my bag. “Well, for starters, guess what I made for you this week. Tadaaa!” I plopped the tupperware of brownies in front of him. “Chocolate chip and near fat free. Don’t ask me how that’s possible, it just is. This half,” I traced one side with my finger, “is for you. This half,” I trace the other, “is for Regal. And the rest,” I motioned towards the smaller pile, “is for everybody else. Or not. Keep it for when you’re having a bad day and treat yourself.” 

*** 

_ “You are too good to me,” I kissed her in thanks, then swiped one to sample the goods. Rich, fudgy, not overly sweet. “Regal will love these, I know it. And yeah, the rest could be for anyone lucky to pick them up before they disappear.” I grinned. _

*** 

I beamed, pleased. No matter how many times Finn told me how much he loved my cooking, I’d never not be chuffed. 

“As for the other thing...I can’t really show it here.” I motioned around the cafe. “I need a bigger table, more private, too.” 

I then blushed as something occurred to me. “Erm...does it sound like I’m suggesting something... _ risque _ ...or is that just me?” 

*** 

_ With a shamelessly devilish smile, I replied, “Could be. Whatever you're suggesting, I'm definitely interested. Just tell me when, where, and how you want me.” _

*** 

I groaned. Finn teased me a lot...but sometimes, I really did bring it on myself. 

“After we finish lunch, let’s go to your office. I’ll show you there. It won’t take too long, I promise.” 

*** 

_ I really did enjoy teasing her. “Not a problem! In fact, we’re not that far off. I’m just upstairs. If you like, we can take our lunch there instead.” _

*** 

“Okay, sure!” Bending down to pick up the rucksack, I used my free hand to grab my bowl of risotto and stood up. “Lead the way, otherwise I’ll end up getting lost and that would be so embarrassing.” 

***

_ “Stick with me, lovely,” I grinned. We took the short walk upstairs to the next floor to the office across the way. It wasn’t too fancy, not like Regal’s. Clean, modern furniture with a small wooden table and two chairs in one corner near the window, a chaise lounger next to my desk. It was comfortable without being too much so.  _

_ We sat at the table and looked at the down as the street below as we enjoyed lunch and each other’s company. Once we finished, I set our disposable dishes aside.  _

_ “Now...what did you want to show me that required so much space and privacy?” I couldn’t help the smirk that crept into my face. _

*** 

“Whatever it is you’re thinking, that’s not it. I’d never be so unprofessional as to come to your workplace and try anything!” I protested, blushing. 

Had I had the intrusive little fantasy of just that happening? And possibly Finn ordering me around, forcing me kneel on the floor by his desk while he worked? Occasionally stroking my hair because I was being so well-behaved? 

Yes. Yes, unfortunately. 

Reaching down, I opened up my rucksack and took out the surprise.

It was his suit. Or, to be more accurate, the basted fitting of his suit. As a result, it looked quite unglamourous, the cloth basically put together using white basting cotton, and the suit missing a right sleeve. 

It wasn’t the finished product - nowhere close - but the image in my mind had finally become something physical, and now it was only a matter of working on it until it was perfect. 

“Now, I know it doesn’t look that great, but that’s intentional, I swear.” I explained to Finn as I put it down on the desk before him. “It’s the first fitting, just a tester. It’s more to get your input on anything you might want changed, and to make sure I’m heading in the right direction. No good bypassing this and then I give you the suit, all finished, and it’s crap.” 

I waited for his reaction, nervous. Though it was just a baste fitting, it wasn’t  _ supposed _ to look good, I still worried he’d lose confidence.  

*** __

_ I looked at the fabric, the cut, the design...it wasn’t finished, and yet it was amazing how she was progressing.  _

_ “You’re working this like a true professional, Teagan. I’m so proud of you,” I praised. “I can’t wait to see how this looks once it’s finished! Do you need me to try on anything to make adjustments?” _

***

“Re-Really? You’re not having second thoughts or anything?” I was relieved Finn liked it. I didn’t even have to worry that he was saying that just to spare my feelings. I’d learned early on that, with Finn, he didn’t sugarcoat or lie. He’d just say it straight to your face. Nicely, politely, of course, but he was always truthful. 

“That’s a good idea. I know it only has one arm right now, but it’d still be good just to make sure the measurements are all right.”

I took out the suit from the plastic wrapping and passed it over to him. “You can try on the trousers later, at mine.” 

***

_ I opened my mouth as if to make a remark about the last statement, then laughed and said, “Nah. Too easy.” _

_ Removing my suit jacket, I asked, “Should I try it with the dress shirt, or no dress shirt? What makes the adjusting easiest for you?” _

*** 

I paused and raised an eyebrow. “Is this your subtle way of asking me if I want you to take off your shirt? Hah, not going down that road.”

“And besides...you look very sexy in your black dress shirt and trousers.”

***

_ “Oh honey, you flatter me.” I hovered as if I was going to steal a kiss. “You look rather sexy yourself. But I promise I’ll be good... _ **_enough_ ** _.”  _

_ I bounced away. Then, carefully I slipped on the tester jacket. It was pretty loose, but I stood upright and let it sit for her perusal. “Alright, I'm ready for you.” _

***

_ Me? Sexy? Yeah right! _ The words ‘sexy’ and ‘Teagan Dunn’ did not go together. That and I was currently wearing a long, red plaid shirt over blue jeans. No one in the history of the plaid shirts creation had described it as a sexy apparel. 

Once Finn had the jacket on, I walked around him in circles, inspecting him as if he were a picture of artwork.

“Hmmm… It’s a bit looser than I thought it would be. No biggie, I’ll just tighten up the measurements a little. That way, when you have the second fitting, you can let me know if it’s an improvement.” 

*** 

_ “That’s fine. This is really exciting. You’ve done great so far. I trust your judgement,” I assured, staring into her eyes. _

*** 

I smiled, looking down. 

“Well, that’s it then. Just needed you to see it, tell me what you though, try it on. Now I can go work on it some more. With any luck, the next time you see it, the suit will be all finished.”  I then added, “Told you I’d be quick.”  

Just then, the door opened and two bald, bearded muscled men came barrelling through, whooping loudly. 

“Guess who just got the memo about next week’s Field Leadership Retreat!” The taller of the two announced. “The Bullet Club is real and the gang’s getting back together, baby!” 

“Hell yeah! Finn’s our boy, he knows how much we love the shit out of the retreats. Hell, everyone here does! Remember the last one?” The smaller one said. 

The taller one guffawed at the memory. “I remember! It was nuts! There was so much bl- Oh shit!” His eyes widened as he took notice of me, standing there and staring at them. “Karl, Finn’s got company.  _ Female company. _ ” 

The other turned to me, and then a wicked smirk came over his face. “Ooooh, I know who you are.” He looked over at Finn. “This her, bubba? This the girl you’ve been going crazy over? The one you left your two loyal brothers all alone for?” 

“What’s her name again? Yoko Ono right?” The taller joked. 

*** 

_ I had no qualms about walking up behind them and giving both their bald heads a hard slap. “Apologies for the knucklehead twins, Teagan.” _

_ With a firmness that said, “ _ **_Behave, lads, or I’ll toss your asses to the groundlings_ ** _ ”, I introduced them. “This is Teagan Dunn, my favorite girl. She’s an aspiring tailor. I’ve commissioned her to make a suit for me.” I motioned between the two. “Teagan, these two are my friends and colleagues, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson.” _

*** 

Nervously, I approached the two men. “I-It’s lovely to meet the both of you. Erm… You two wouldn’t happen to be the two friends Finn went to Edinburgh once and then tried to push into Loch Ness, would you?” 

That garnered a reaction. “Hell yeah, we are! And he told you?” Gallows said.

“I don’t know what you’ve heard, but don’t trust a word from his lying Irish mouth, babe. Our version of what went down that night is very different from his version.” Anderson said. 

I laughed. “Please tell me sometime, I’d love to hear more about it.”  Hesitating, I then said, “And, erm, listen, I don’t want you to think I’m stealing him away from you two. Not at all. In fact, you’re more than welcome to come to my house and hang out with Finn, if you want. I won’t get in the way, I promise.”

The two just stared at me, taken aback. 

When they finally responded, I noticed how they were less antagonistic and dismissive towards me. 

“Awww, goddammit. I want to hate her, but she’s too damn nice.”

“Doesn’t get in the way of her man’s bros, is a total sweetheart,  _ and _ she can design suits.” Anderson turned to Finn. “She’s a keeper, bubba. I take back all the mean things I said about her behind her back.”

Gallows nodded. “Yeah and she did manage to tame you, Hoot, that’s something special.” Anderson nudged me. “Don’t know if our boy told you, but, before he met you, he was what you’d call something of a ladykiller. Breaking hearts like it’s going out of style, hoot!”

“But not you. He  _ likes _ you. As do Anderson and I.” Gallows grinned. “Teagan, we misjudged you. This whole time we’ve been all jealous, thinking you were trying to steal Finn away from us, but now we see the truth. Please accept our sincerest apologies.”

“You don’t have to apologise, really.” I laughed, pleased that I’d succeeded in making a good first impression. It was very important to me that Finn’s friends, should I meet any of them, got on with me and vice-versa. I didn’t want any drama or problems like Laura and Samantha always seemed to have with their boyfriends’ friends.

***

_ Gallows and Anderson were knuckleheads, that much was certain, but they were nothing if not loyal. Seeing them make niceties with Teagan was actually kind of...pleasant. She just had a way of disarming the hardest people to please. And now she’s won over my two closest friends.  _

_ “Tell you guys what. Let's do a pizza and movie night. Hang out, trade embarrassing stories, make fun of bad movies. If all goes well, and she hasn’t run screaming from us, I say we make her an honorary Bullet Club member. Then again, putting up with you two bastards for a night, she’d probably deserve full-fledged member status for that alone,” I chuckled as they laughed and waved me off.  _

_ I turned to Teagan. “Up to you, of course. Whatever you wanna do, whenever you wanna do this.” _

*** 

“Definitely, that sounds fun!” I was enthusiastic. Anderson and Gallows looked like two clowns, I didn’t see a night with them around been boring. Plus, it’d be nice to see how Finn was with his two friends. “How about this Friday or Saturday? Or next Friday, if that’s too last minute?” 

I watched the spot where they’d previously stood. “Your friends are nothing like I imagined. Those two could definitely pass for wrestlers!” 

Come to think about it, a lot of the people who worked in this firm didn’t look like the type who’d choose a career in law... Most of the women were nothing short of glamorous - and some of the men, Finn being proof of that - while others, like Anderson and Gallows, just looked like they’d picked the wrong profession. 

“Oh...wait. We can’t do next week, you’re all going to be away that Field Leadership Retreat, right? ...It’ll be weird not having you around for seven days, but we can still text. Be sure to tell me all about what you guys get up to?” 

*** 

_ “Hey,  _ **_they’re_ ** _ having all the fun, lucky bastards,” I amended. “I gotta hold down the fort for Regal while he coordinates it. Which is fine since I’m writing up new curriculum for a test run anyway. But I’ll get to check in occasionally - surprise appearances to keep the newbies on their toes. We’ll figure it out though, because this needs to happen.” _

_ This was mostly true. On top of the new curriculum, I had to handle a culling of the herd. That is, gathering groundlings to feed the Beast. Tedious, but not a problem. _

***

“Wait, so you’ll be working while everyone else gets to have fun at this retreat? That’s so unfair!” I wound my arms around his neck. “Anything I can do to make you feel better? What goes on at a Field Leadership Retreat anyway? You might not be missing much...” 

I felt bad on the inside. Any other woman who asked that would have sex or some physical pleasure on the table. I didn’t have that. There was only so much I could do… 

Feeling a little desperate, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to cheat just one more time before I went to church and had myself absolved. “Erm… I’m going to confession later today, so...anything I do before then will be forgiven. Ma-Maybe I can…” I looked down, face flushed. “Maybe I can make you feel better?” 

With a shaking hand, I took his in mine...and started to inch it towards my chest… 

And then the door opened and I leaped away from him, mortified at the thought of one of his work colleagues seeing us and putting two and two together. 

*** 

_ Regal and Kane. They have the strangest timing. And poor Teagan, scared out of her wits and her nerve.  _

_ I leaned in to whisper teasingly in her ear, “We’ll discuss it later”, before turning to the new visitors. “Gentleman! To what do I owe the pleasure?”  _

_ “Following up on the itineraries for the retreat. Everything in order, dear boy?” Regal inquired.  _

_ “Of course, Sir. You ready to torment the newbies?” I joked. (Not really though - Regal does enough tormenting the newbies an awful lot. We call it an endurance course. He calls it stress relief.) _

_ “Of course! And hello to you again, lovely Teagan! A pleasure as always. Any new delicious treats to share?” Regal asked, a delighted gleam in his eyes. _

***

It took me a brief second to compose myself, but inside I was so frustrated.  _ Later? There won’t be a later! That was the perfect -  _ **_the only_ ** _ \- time to do anything. I can’t go once I’ve been to confession. It had to be now! The moment’s gone! _

I smiled when Regal addressed me. “Yes, of course.” Grabbing the box, I passed them over to him. “Here. Half’s for Finn, half’s for you, and the rest are just leftovers for everyone else.”

My eyes fell on the giant of a man standing next to him. Decked out in a simple grey suit, with blondish-brown shaved hair, he looked incredibly uncomfortable, as if he wanted to be anywhere other than here. 

“Hello…” I said, nervously. “Ar...Are you Mr. Flair, by any chance?” 

“Hi. And no. My name’s...Issac Yankem.” He gritted his teeth. He seemed to really dislike his name.

He then turned to Finn. He paused, heaved a sigh, then said, “I have a problem and need your advice. There’s…” His eyes briefly fell on me, before continuing, “a character in this book I’m writing and I’m having a hard time coming up with a cruel and unusual punishment for them. Physical torture won’t work. Any ideas?” 

*** 

_ “Well, that depends,” I began. “Did the physical torture play on any fears they have, like maybe corrupting something they loved from childhood and making it painful? You could try that and make it a two-pronged attack, physical and mental.” _

_ Kane - well,  _ **_Issac_ ** _ \- was always extremely uncomfortable when he had to play the corporate role. He hated being in public, he hated decorum, and he especially hated suits. With a flaming passion. Nonetheless, whenever he had an issue revolving around work, he came to the surface sans ‘Big Red Monster’ garb and asked Regal and I. Only under the guise of writing a book in case any humans were nearby.  _

_ This was not fun for him at all. But we try to make sure his visit is, at least, helpful. _

 ***

“No. This guy handles anything thrown at him, it’s really annoying!” His eyes fell on me once again - I hope I wasn’t making him uncomfortable… - and he grumbled, “I hate writer’s block…”

Feeling a little bad, I pitched in, “Erm… If-If playing on his fears and torture isn’t working, maybe you can go for something that  _ everyone _ hates? Like... pick any song you want and-”

“And play it over and over again? Been done before.” He cut in, disinterested.

 “No, I didn’t mean that. I mean, take a line from the song and repeat that one line over and over. They should be crawling up the wall in minutes.”

 There was nothing more annoying than a repeating verse of a song. I remember Dawn once listening to a song on Youtube and all she did was constantly repeat the beginning of it. Load, play, reload, play, etc. I ended up barricading myself in my room, because if I didn’t, I would have snatched the laptop from her hands and smashed it against the wall. 

Kane paused. “...That’s not a bad idea.” A grin came over his face. “That’s a great idea! Yes, I’ll go with that. Thank you!” He directed that grin my way. “I like how you think. What other gruesome punishments can you come up with?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Honestly, I just made that one up on the spot.” I laughed nervously. “But still, happy to be of help.”  

I opened the door and said, to Finn. “I just need to pop out for a second, I’ll be right back!” 

*** 

_ Once Teagan was out of the room, Kane let out a loud groan. “ _ **_Unbelievable!_ ** _ Out of all the souls you picked to be your next acquisition, you picked  _ **_hers!_ ** _ ”  _

_ “Let me guess,” I sighed. “You think my pursuit is a waste, that incorruptible souls don't exist - even though you work with a fallen angel that helped to _ **_create_ ** _ them - and you feel she has greater potential to be corrupted.” It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it from him. _

_ “I’ve told him this, lad, but Kane is thick!” Regal exclaimed, coming to my defense. “I’ve told him time and time again that those kind of souls don’t bend to torture alone. If they were to be corrupted, it would have to be almost entirely by conscious choice. It plays both into and against the free will mechanic.”  _

_ Kane growled. “Actually, I was referring to the fact that she’s a failed acquisition of mine. Remember that soul I was desperately trying to claim for Hell?” He jerked his thumb behind him. “ _ **_Her._ ** _ I threw demon after demon at her and nothing worked! I even got my Father involved - tried to get her to sell her soul. Had him offer her the most iron-clad contract Hell had to offer - she could have had everything she ever wanted with no strings attached - and she  _ **_still_ ** _ refused! Even though she was homeless and close to starvation! It doesn’t make sense.” _

_ He huffed and shook his head. “If I’d just had a little more time, I would have had her - I know it - but then she got away. Saved by a  _ **_void_ ** _ of all things! What a joke.”  _

_ “Apparently her resolve to live was stronger. That also can be attributed to her soul. Nigh unbreakable, that one,” I noted. “Speaking of the void that assisted her, how’s  _ **_she_ ** _ doing down there?”  _

_ Kane smiled nastily. “Suffering. You should come see for yourself, she’d  _ **_love_ ** _ to meet you.” _

_ “And, I still think you’re wrong. No soul is unbreakable. Even Teagan Dunn has a breaking point, you just need to find and exploit it. You had the perfect opportunity two months ago when her void friends drugged her. They practically gift-wrapped her for you!”  _

_ He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand what you’re doing, Demon King. You have a soul  _ **_filled to the brim_ ** _ with raw potential, one who, when turned, could - no  _ **_would_ ** _ -  be magnificent. Hell’s finest, Heaven itself would regret losing her. I know it! Instead you’re...I don’t even know what you’re doing. Explain to me again why you aren’t corrupting her?”  _

_ “Because a fully lit beacon holds more power than a dim one,” I replied. “Even if you were to try corrupting her, it wouldn’t take nearly as well. Rebuilding her soul and making it brighter serves two purposes: to show Heaven how badly they suck at their job, whether they care or not, and to prove that no soul is off limits. If I do this, then claim it for Hell, it’s as damning to them as if we’d actually had corrupted it. We did their work better than they ever could!”  _

_ “And besides,” Regal added mischievously. “If she chose such a dark path -  _ **_if_ ** _ she chose it - she’d be all the stronger but more volatile. She won’t fear Oblivion, she wouldn’t fear pain. She’d be the perfect weapon, but completely out of our control. Would  _ **_you_ ** _ be able to rein her in, Kane? Would anyone? The last thing we need is another Randy Orton. Not that Teagan has that temperament, but she’d be a defiant one, that’s certain.”  _

_ Kane scowled. He still didn’t seem to be understanding what Regal and I were trying to tell him. “I don’t understand.” He parroted again. “What good is her soul if it isn’t corrupted? And wouldn’t that be the real insult to Heaven? To take the so-called incorruptible soul and break and turn it into a demon? Her very existence would mock Heaven!”  _

_ Regal chuckled. “Ah, but Kane, why mock when you can boast and rub salt into the wounds by taking her soul and making it shine as bright as can be, then stealing it all for Hell? It’s a slap to Heaven’s face, a declaration that we are better than them, that they have failed. And the best thing of all? There’s nothing they can do about it! To retaliate would be to admit we are right, so all they’ll be able to do is sit there and put up with it while it eats away at them on the inside. Don’t you see the brilliance, the pure villainy of it all?” _

_ Kane looked completely bemused. Regal and I could probably explain it to him a hundred times over and he still wouldn’t get it.  _

_ I wasn’t surprised. Kane was a demon through and through. For him, nothing was better or more beautiful than taking a good soul and twisting and corrupting it into something ugly and profane. Good souls just did not compute with him.  _

_ Case in point, “Fine, so you’re not going to corrupt her, you’re going to heal her. What about  _ **_after_ ** _ you’ve claimed her soul for Hell? Do I get to fast-track her to demonhood then? You’ve already made your point to Heaven, and her souls going to be suffering anyway. Better to make use of her before Lesnar finds and devours her. Because you know he will.”  _

_ Regal exchanged a look with me then announced, “That won’t be necessary, Kane. The King has no intention of leaving her at the mercy of Hell, and rightly so. She is not a void, she doesn’t deserve the same treatment as one.” _

_ “What?” Kane looked back and forth between Regal and I, gaping. “Why?  _ **_How?_ ** _ What you’re suggesting is impossible! There’s a reason all the souls who Fall from Heaven into Hell end up becoming demons, groundlings, or choosing Oblivion. They cannot survive any other way!”  _

_ “She’ll be under my protection,” I answered. “And the only way anyone will lay a finger on her is if they kill me first. And we all know how that ends up, don’t we?” _

_ “Or,” I added carefully as I approached Kane. “If she’s escorted by only my most trusted people. They wouldn’t violate my will either. I’m certain of that. Regal’s right. She isn’t a void and won’t be approached as such. She will be treated with the respect she deserves. In time, as she adjusts, maybe she will take the path, maybe she won’t. All I need to know is, when I execute my plan, will you respect that?”  _

_ Kane groaned. I smirked - that meant yes.  _

_ “ _ **_Fine._ ** _ If it’s that important to you, my King, then I will protect her soul to the best of my abilities.” He said, though it was clear he was not happy about it.  _

_ “With all due respect, I still don’t think your plan will work. Most of the demons will obey your orders, but there are some who will WILL try and harm her. Again, Lesnar. And, to point out the obvious, even if she’s kept around the three of us and anyone else trusted enough to keep her safe, we can’t watch her forever. Sooner or later she’ll wander off where she shouldn’t or fall prey to a demon foolish enough to think they can harm her and get away with it.” _

_ “Ah, but here’s the genius part, Kane. Our King can.” Regal said, sharing a knowing glance with me. “Do you wish to tell him, dear boy, or shall I? _

_ I matched his look and turned back to Kane. “Like I said,” I replied, placing a hand on my chest. “They want to get to her, they'll have to kill me. And no one has the brains or the balls for that.”  _

_ I stepped back a few feet. “My chest will be her soul’s prison. Her soul will also be branded and tagged to undercut any threat to her safety. If any demon does so much as whistles wrong, it will warn me. Any immediate danger, she’ll be pulled right back to me. That is, if I don’t get to them first.”  _

_ Kane smirked. “Okay, that is a genius plan, I’ll give you that. That’s one thing I’ll give you credit for, Bálor, you don’t half-ass things.”  _

_ I relaxed, pleased that at least for now, the Big Red Monster had been placated. I really didn’t want to have to hear his complaining and grumbling about my choice regarding Teagan Dunn every time we spoke.  _

_ “Right, now that my problem with the void has been resolved, I’ll be returning back to Hell. Another second in this suit, pretending to be Issac Yankem, and I’m going to set fire to something.” _

_ And, with that, Kane was gone, off to resume his duties as Chief Torturer of Hell.  _

_ Regal snickered from the chair he currently sat on, though his expression quickly turned sombre. “I hope Teagan doesn’t ever choose to become a demon. An incorruptible soul at its peak is a thing of beauty, a trophy to be admired and kept in the best condition. Why let it darken when its shine is so rare a sight to see?”  _

_ “Plus, while Kane isn’t wrong in saying she has the potential to be a magnificent demon...she could also end up a truly terrifying one. That’s always the risk one takes with incorruptible souls, dear boy. Their nigh-impossible to break, and the corruption depends solely on their choice, but, should it happen? Should the soul completely lose itself to darkness or madness? Oh, I shudder to imagine it. Should that happen to Teagan, we’d be likely to end up with another Orton, or Wyatt, only  _ **_far_ ** _ worse. Please take that into consideration, my King, before you offer her the choice.”  _

_ “If I know her strength, Regal, she would try to save a little light for herself. A spark to keep her human. And she’d still be magnificent. She’d be-” _

_ “Like you, my King,” he finished. “Yes, I’m certain of that. She’d find a way. If any soul on Earth could, it’s Teagan Dunn.” _

_ “Well, that’s not a bridge I’m worried about crossing just yet. I couldn't imagine changing her. She’s...I like her just as she is. And if she did make that choice, I’d be worried. But I'll still take her as she is.” I nodded and looked to Regal. “That’s what I do know.” _

_ “I have no doubt in my mind that you would. Just do keep in mind that, while it could go wonderfully right, it could also go horribly wrong. Would you still take her as she is if she was killing demons, groundlings and humans with total abandon? If  she was as much of a loon as Bray Wyatt or as bloodthirsty as Lesnar?” And then, whispering, “If she were to turn on you?”  _

_ Perhaps realizing this was a topic I did not want to even consider, Regal finished it off with, “Well, it’s still much too soon to tell these things. We will discuss this more when the time comes.”  _

_ “Certainly, Regal. And thank you for...well, everything as usual,” I said, shaking off the nerves I felt. _

_ “Nonsense, my boy,” he waved off. “I said I would help my King anyway I could, and I intend to. Your success is ours, after all.”  _

_ I smiled.  _

_ A rapid succession of knocks sounded at the door. “Yes?” I called.  _

_ It was Lana, looking especially panicked. “We've got a problem, sir. In the cafè...Eva Marie.”  _


	34. Gone to Ground

When I said I needed to ‘pop out’ for a second, that was my way of politely excusing myself to use the restroom. Much to my relief, I didn’t get lost on the way there, or back.

It’d been my intention to head right back to Finn’s office, but I found myself in the mood for some coffee. Deciding a latte would do just fine and also figuring Finn would like something, too, I’d headed back to the cafe to buy some.

Waiting in the line, a young woman stood in front of me, talking on the phone. Her hair was wavy, a bright fire engine red that reached the middle of her back, and with lipstick to match. Once again, I found myself taken aback - she looked like she should be a bikini or swimsuit model, not working here. 

She was talking to her co-worker, a black woman with light caramel, long wavy hair. 

“My field run is right before the Field Leadership Retreat and I’m going to fail, Alicia, I just know it.” 

“You don’t know that.” The other woman said flippantly. Either she didn’t care or she’d heard this enough times already. “If you’re so worried, practice a little or go ask Regal for advice or an extension.” 

“He won’t help me. He’ll just assign me to follow some veterans and learn from them.” 

“Erm…Eva, isn’t that a _good_ thing?” 

“No! It’s boring and I don’t ever learn anything!” Eva protested. “I can’t fail my field run, Alicia. If I do, I’m going to get demoted and probably become a Groundling. I can’t become a Groundling, they’re pretty much _cattle!_ -” 

“Eva, keep your voice down!” Alicia hissed suddenly. “You have to be careful about the things you say out loud, it could get you in trouble.” 

Eva blinked at her, confused. “Huh? What did I say?” 

_What the heck is a Groundling?_ That was all I could think. I’d never heard that word before in my life. 

Still waiting and with nothing better to do, I took out my phone to Google it. 

***

_“My apologies to interrupt you, your Majesty, but Eva Marie is talking too loudly and openly about things that a human could overhear and ask questions about.” Lana explained to me as we walked fast paced to the cafeteria._

_Shit. If Teagan's down there…_

_“Regal, with me.” We took off quickly. “Thank you, Lana,” I added with a wave as we left._

_“Damn it, I told her about this. Had to drill it into her head harder than most,” Regal griped._

_Eva Marie...wasn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box, despite looking like one. Regal thought she’d fit great as a lust demon. Which was fine with her, but she had insanely loose lips that had a way of getting her in trouble. Like now._

_“What will you do with her?”_

_“No worries, my King - I’ll handle it. Find Teagan,” he assured as we walked into the cafè._

_I found Teagan in line, behind Eva and Alicia Fox, another trainee. I hopped in with her. “Sorry about the wait - hope it wasn’t long.”_

_Regal, all polite harshness, approached Eva. “Just the woman I needed to see. In my office, please,” he said, leading the way. Looking nervously at Alicia, she reluctantly followed suit._

_***_

“Finn!” I exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, when Finn appeared out of nowhere. I guess I took longer than planned and he left to find me. “I should be the one apologising. I was going to buy a drink for us. You like cappuccinos, right?” 

Just then, the black woman in front of us - Alicia, I believe her name was - turned around and said to Finn, “Just so you know, I warned her to keep her voice down. I was _not_ involved.” 

“...Well, that was random.” I commented after she turned away to be served, a little confused as to why she would say that. Nothing bad had happened to the girl, after all. And Finn wasn’t her boss, he was just a fellow co-worker…

Buying the drinks, Finn and I left the cafeteria and headed back to his office. 

“Are all workplaces this interesting or just yours?” I asked, taking a sip of my drink. 

***

_“Pretty sure it’s just ours,” I joked, taking a sip. “Nice, French vanilla - thank you so much! Honestly, everyone has their own personality here. The trainees, especially. Every class brings something new. And it's always amusing to watch.”_

_We sat together pretty contentedly with our coffee. “Also, I’m so sorry about the interruptions earlier. Today’s been a little busier than normal because of the excitement over the retreat.”_  

*** 

I waved my hand. “It’s fine, really. I shouldn’t be hanging around here, anyway, it is your workplace. I’ll be out of your hair in a second, I promise.” 

***

_“Maybe I_ **_like_ ** _you in my hair,” I replied cheekily._

***

Another sip. Then I asked the question that had been nagging me since I was in the cafe. “Hey, Finn, question: What does _Groundling_ mean? That girl in front of me seemed worried about being demoted to it, and...well, I’ve never heard the word before. I tried Googling it, and nothing.” 

***

_I kept it simple: “Groundlings are what we call the interns and go-fers around here. Not really sure_ **_why_ ** _they call them that, but I think they got it from Shakespeare. The term originally referred to the poorest audience members at his theatre who literally sat on the ground in the front rows to see his plays. Great back then, not so much here. Anyway, it's like the one job no one wants to do here…it’s just the pits compared to everyone else. So we encourage people to aim high.”_  

*** 

“Ooooh. That's actually pretty clever.” I replied. “Probably Regal’s idea, right? He seems the kind of guy to like Shakespeare.” 

***

_“Absolutely his idea.” It was true. It was better than the previous name Bálor had for them: ‘Shitstains’. Regal’s was a bit less harsh, at least._

***

Then I remembered something, a particular comment that had confused me most. “But...she said the interns - _Groundlings_ \- were considered cattle? Aren’t cattle used for food and stuff? What’s that all about?”

 ***

_“She’s known for overdramatics. Regal had been working with Eva to get that under control, but...well, old habits. Regal taught her class and one of the newbies shouted that in class as a joke. I guess she was the only one who took it seriously. She’s not very good with jokes either.”_

_My face dropped in puzzlement. “Not sure why we keep her, really. You need a sense of humor around here or it gets weird really quick.” I shrugged it off and finished my cooling cappuccino._  

*** 

“Huh.” That’s all I could say. I could understand if the newbie had said something like ‘slave workers’ or ‘second class citizens’, but ‘cattle’? It was still kind of weird. “Oh well. Personally, I like it. Sets you guys apart from the other workplaces.” 

I stood up, chucking my plastic cup into the bin. “I’m going to head off now, let you get back to work. Enjoy your brownies and I’ll see you later!” 

*** 

_“Oh hey, wait up! I’ll walk you down.” We walked down both flights of stairs to the main door amidst the bustling groups of people. “I’m free tonight if you want to finish alterations. I’ll bring dinner and we can get it done. No interruptions, I promise.”_

*** 

“That’d be nice!” I then laughed. “Hah, there better not be, it’s our house. Anyone comes through that door, they’re getting a face-full of utensils!”

I jest, but if someone were to break into my house, I’d probably run and barricade myself into my bedroom. I was a pacifist at heart. If there was a non-violent way, I’d take it. 

And if there wasn’t? If I was cornered and forced to go on the offensive? Well, my attacker better like getting scratched in the face and kicks and punches landing anywhere they could, because that’s what would happen. 

“See you later.” I smiled, pecking Finn on the cheek before leaving. 

*** 

_I smiled as I watched her leave. I sighed and said to no one, as I walked away, “I'll see you first.” Which, honestly, was the plan. I haven’t been to confession in...ages._

_But first, checking in on Regal. I opened the door to his office just as he’s preparing to punish Eva Marie. Of course, this is a closed-door meeting._

_“Anything I can help with?” I inquired as I shut the door on Eva’s pained cries._

***

After seeing Finn, I decided I’d finally head to the local church and get confession out of the way. The sooner I had that peace of mind, the better. 

I was just walking away from the law firm when I heard the sound of approaching high heels and a high-pitched voice calling out my name. I recognized it instantly, I’d heard that voice every time I popped by to visit Finn and alerted the front desk that he was expecting me. 

It was Summer Rae, the receptionist. A blonde, tanned waif-like barbie doll of a woman who always seemed to be dressed in figure hugging skirts or dresses. When I’d first met her, I feared she might be one of those ‘mean girl’ types you sometimes get with receptionists - Laura had been one of them - but she was actually incredibly sweet. 

All of Finn’s co-workers were, actually. The ones I’d talked to, even in passing, had gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. 

“Heeeey! So glad I caught you, Teagan. Am I saying that right? Is it Teagan that rhymes with Meagan, or Tea-gan, or Tay-gan. Who’d have thought a name could be pronounced so many ways?” 

“It’s pronounced Tea-gan.” I smiled. “What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, just that you forgot this in Mr. Bálor’s office.” She held out Finn’s suit to me. 

“Thanks so much. I can’t believe I almost left without it.” I said gratefully, folding it up and placing it back inside my rucksack. 

“You’re welcome!” Summer went to leave, but then, stopping, smiled at me. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you look great! When I first met you, you were kind of ‘ _blah_ ’, but now you’re glowing!”

“Oh...th-thank you.” I’m pretty sure that was something of a backhanded compliment, but, hey, she meant well. “Anyway, it was nice talking to you. See you around.”

“You too, Teagan!” Summer waved me off, this time pronouncing my name correctly. 

Later, I glanced at my reflection in a shop window. I didn’t see any difference in my physical appearance. I still looked the same as I did two months ago. 

_Maybe she was talking about how I carry myself? I am more confident now..._

_...Yeah, it’s probably that._

***

_There’s a reason no one wants to be demoted to 'Groundling’ status. There's also a reason no one takes pleasure in doing the demoting._

_Okay, the last line is a lie. It’s_ **_extremely_ ** _fun. It appeals to the more sadistic among us, probably more so than the blood orgy, and that’s saying a lot._

_Watching Regal turn Eva (or any demon) into a Groundling was like watching a master at work. In fact, he’s the one who designed, and later perfected, the process to neutralize the many defective demons stirring up needless chaos. So this is his realm. And it never failed to make me feel humble watching him work._

_I’ve had the opportunity to learn and perform several in his stead, and I will be the first to say how exhilarating it is. But then, I can be a sadistic bastard, too._

_To make a Groundling is easy enough. Take away enough of their sentience, their intelligence, and their will, but not enough to make them totally useless. Just so they can perform simple tasks without question, and even sacrifice themselves to the Beast, if ordered._

_Regal and I left the processing room as the Shadows collected Eva to lead her to the Pit. “I apologize again, my King.”_

_“It wasn’t your fault, Regal,” I assured. “It was going to happen eventually, and it was best that it was now instead of after the fact.”_

_“Yes. Although, had she learned more about subtlety and to keep a low profile, I dare say she would have been outstanding as a demon of lust. Ah well, they can’t all be winners,” he chuckled._

_“Agreed. I’m heading out. Need anything from me?”_

_“Go on and enjoy the day, lad. I’ll see you tomorrow before we leave for the retreat.”_

_With a nod, I took off to get to the church on time._

*** 

Father Cody wasn’t at church today. He was sick with the flu. 

I stared at the fellow church goer - a woman with shoulder length blonde hair and a sunny disposition - letting this news sink in. This...had never happened before. Anytime I needed to speak with Father Cody, he was there.

“Do…Do you know when he’ll next be in? I kind of need to speak with him.” 

She shook her head. “Sorry. You know how flus are. He says he’ll try and be back in five days, max, but he can’t make any promises. You can still talk to the priest filling in for Father Cody while he’s away, or how about one of the pastors? How about me? I’m part of the team, too.” 

“You are?” 

“Oh yeah. Renee Young. Volunteer Coordinator. I’m the one anyone who wants to help out here goes to, and I generally make sure everything runs smoothly.” She shook my hand, a warm smile on her face. “How about it? I don’t mean to brag, but Father Cody thinks I’m pretty awesome. If he weren’t lying in bed, trying not to throw up, he’d be telling you to give me a chance, too.” 

I laughed lightly, instantly finding myself liking Renee. “Well, if Father Cody vouches for you, how can I say no?” Plus, I reasoned, it’d be easier to talk with a woman about the dilemma at hand, rather than a man. 

Sitting down in one of the back pews, I quietly - and with some embarrassment - explained to her why I wanted to go to confession. 

Renee’s reaction wasn’t what I expected. “Seriously? That’s the problem? What a relief! I thought you were going to tell me you’d cheated on your partner, you looked so serious!” She laughed lightly. 

“It’s not funny! It’s a sin and I need to be absolved!” I interjected, even more embarrassed. 

Rather than get put-off, she patted my hand, a sympathetic look on her pretty face. “Teagan, it is not a sin. Self-pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy. If anything, the real sin is what you’re doing to yourself currently.” 

“ _What?!_ ” 

She nodded. “Uh-huh, it’s true.” When I continued to just stare at her, she elaborated. “Okay, look at it like this: To live a happy, healthy life, you’re encouraged to do things in moderation. Don’t eat too much, don’t drink too much alcohol, don’t smoke too much, yadda yadda yadda, right?” I nodded. “Right! It’s all in moderation. What you’re doing? It’s just another extreme. It’s unhealthy. Tell me, if someone wasn’t eating enough and became anorexic, would you agree that that isn’t good? That they need to eat more?” I nodded again. “Same thing applies here. Repressing yourself is only hurting you. You should never bottle yourself up, because, sooner or later, you’re going to snap.”

“Teagan, you have _nothing_ to be ashamed of. You haven’t done anything wrong. You were just scratching an itch that needed to be scratched, simple as that. If Father Cody was here, he’d tell you the exact same thing.” 

“Bu-But the Bible-”

“Doesn’t say anything about masturbation. Know why? Because there’s nothing wrong with it. Teagan, you’re human, you’re not meant to be perfect. That’s why God gave you free will.” When I said nothing, a worried expression on my face, she sighed. “I think, in the grand scheme of things, God has bigger things to worry about than humanity and masturbation. I highly doubt He’s going to see one woman out of _billions_ on this planet indulging a natural aspect of her body and smite her. _Trust me._ ” 

My lips twitched. “Well, when you put it like that, it does sound kind of ridiculous…” 

“Right? And, if you’re still unconvinced, BOOM: Protestantism allows it. It’s true.” She nodded enthusiastically when my eyes widened. “So long as you don’t let it become an addiction, engage in mutual masturbation, or watch porn while doing it, it’s a-okay. Though between you and me, I think that can be given a pass, too.” 

“Yeah, but...I’m a Roman Catholic…” 

“It’s the same religion, Teagan. At the end of the day, does it really matter? Life’s too short to spend it all repressed and miserable.” Waving to another church-goer, she stood up to go speak to them. “It was nice meeting you. I hope I could be of some help.” 

I smiled. “Yeah, you were. Thanks a lot.” 

I left the church, unable to believe what had just happened, but feeling incredibly happy all the same. 

*** 

_I sat behind, unseen and undetectable, as Renee Young spoke to Teagan. I always liked her - direct, honest, cutting, but sunny and welcoming._

_How she managed to provide such balance to Hell’s resident lunatic Dean Ambrose still amazed me._

_When Teagan decided to leave and Renee went to assist another parishioner, I opted to head back to the office. Turned out catering had fallen through for the retreat’s opening night dinner, which meant going back and reaching out to a caterer I have on stand-by._

_Another day in paradise._

*** 

After my visit to the church, I spent the remainder of my afternoon getting little things done here and there. Household chores, buying some flowers and a ‘Get Well Soon’ for Father Cody, adjusting the measurements on the blazer of the suit (the trousers could come later). 

By the evening, I was sitting at my living room table, trying to find a college program I could pursue. Getting in wasn’t a problem, I had my high school diploma, had gotten good grades on my SATs. It was just a case of making up my mind. 

Oh and funding. Sure, I had the ten grand that Mr. and Mrs. Austin gave me, but would that be enough to cover the fees? Plus, I’d rather hang onto it, to save for a rainy day. 

My eyes widened when I saw that there was a BA Honors available for tailoring. _Dare I…?_  

Deciding I’d ask Finn his opinion later, I closed the browser window and pulled out my notes on Irish Gaelic to study. Finn, true to his word, had taken to teaching me the language, the lessons normally lasting an hour. As I thought, it was quite hard to memorize, but, according to him, I was doing pretty well. 

“ _Dia duit ar maidin_ … Good morning... _Teagan is ainm dom_ … Teagan is my name…” I murmured under my breath. 

*** 

_I took the afternoon off and prepared for a night with Teagan. A quick shower, a stop at a florist, and Chinese takeout. Nice to have simplicity sometimes._

_Carrying a plastic bag of hot food in one hand and daffodils in the other, I unlocked the door to find Teagan at the coffee table, studying. “Hey lovely, how was your day?”_  

***       

Looking up, I responded, “ _Dia Dhuit, Finn. Bhí sé go maith._ ....Did I get that right?” 

My eyes falling on the stuff he was carrying, I found myself thrilled at the fact that he got Chinese takeaway for us - my _favourite_ \- and touched if not slightly confused at the sight of the daffodils. _For me? What’s the occasion?_

I asked Finn as much. “Not that I’m not happy, but why the flowers? Something happen...or about to?”

***

_I laughed. “First, that was great - you’re really improving! Second? Nope, nothing special. Literally 'just because’.”_

_Then I paused for a moment to think. “Well, all things considered, with you doing so well lately, I guess it's more of a way to say how amazing I think you are.”_  

*** 

“Awww, you’re so sweet.” I took the daffodils from him, and smelled them (also to hide the blush forming on my cheeks). Some don’t have a scent, but these did. It had a delicately sweet aroma to it. 

I gathered some plates for the Chinese food and got settled in the living room. 

“Just so you know, I have a treat for you, too. To thank you for being so supportive and understanding.” I said conversationally. 

*** 

_“For me?” I studied her with a playfully quizzical look. “Teagan, I like being there for you and supporting you - my treat is seeing you happy. However, I’m definitely curious now. Do tell.”_  

*** 

I slapped him playfully on the arm. “Oh my God, stop! You’re dangerously close to qualifying as the perfect guy, I swear! And no.” I shook my head. “Later, in bed. My lips are sealed until then.” 

This idea had come to me when I was on the way home from church. After my talk with Renee and realizing that Finn really was right in everything he’d said regarding pleasuring myself, I’d been in high spirits. I’d decided that, sex or no sex, I _was_ going to do something for the man in my life, just like any other woman in a relationship, even if it meant cheating a little to do it. 

As far as this cheat went, it was nothing drastic. It wouldn’t be oral sex, since, well, that qualified as sex, it was in the name. But foreplay? That wasn’t counted and, if masturbation could be ignored for a good enough reason, then so could this! 

***

_“In bed? Color me intrigued,” I teased, then considered for a moment as I took the takeout from their paper bags. “Wait, let me guess: you’re gonna turn down the lights, put some music on, and demand I give you a lapdance?”_

_Yes, I’m absolutely taking the piss and I made sure she could see it on my face. Although to judge by the blush in her cheeks, she’s definitely entertaining the thought._  

*** 

Dammit, now I couldn’t get the image out of my head now… Scary thing was, if I were to turn around and ask Finn to do it, chances are he probably would! 

“Do you even _know_ how to do a lapdance?” I teased back. “And no. You’ve done enough for me, so, tonight, I want to do something for you. It’s not much, but it’s the best I can do for now, so yeah...” I trailed off. 

Hopefully, come later, I wouldn’t get cold feet and find myself unable to go through with it. Then I most definitely would be a ‘cocktease’, and deserve every insult thrown at me. And rightly so! It was cruel for me to dangle this in his face, only to snatch it away at the last minute. 

*** 

_“Oh lovely, I’ve got talents you haven’t even seen yet. And I bet you’ve thought about it,” I purred in a sing-song tone with a wink, then added lightheartedly, “Whatever you have planned, I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.”_

_Plates made, we sat down to eat. Chicken and broccoli over rice, steamed dumplings, and crab wontons made for a very filling meal._  

*** 

It couldn’t be stated enough, I loved Asian food _so much_. If I were to be told tomorrow that, for the rest of my life, I could only eat Chinese takeaway, I wouldn’t even be mad. To me, that was not a punishment. 

“That was so good. Much better than the place I usually go to.” I announced after finishing my plate. “Thanks for dinner.”

***

  _“No problem! It sounded great after a crazy day,” I replied. I stood up and took our plates to the kitchen sink and put the leftovers away. There weren’t many dishes to clean so I went ahead and washed them._

_“Should I put on some water for tea?” It had become a nice way for us to relax at the end of the day: a hot cup of tea and each other’s company. It wasn't every night, but it happened enough that it became a habit._  

*** 

“Sure.” I smiled, sinking back into the couch. Nights like these really were the best. Plus, it’s been proven that holding a mug of hot beverage not only reduces stress, but brings out the warmth in the person, physically and mentally. I can’t remember the exact Science behind it, but it does hold some basis. 

Finn returned soon after, carrying two steaming mugs of tea - milk and three spoonfuls of sugar in mine - and resumed his seat next to me. 

I took a quick sip, then left it on my lap to cool down. “I was looking at programs I could do at college. I know I won’t have to start until September, that’s three months away, but three months goes by really fast. I’d like to have made up my mind by then. I’ve been struggling a little, but then I came across something.” 

Mulling it over, I told Finn. “I could go and study tailoring. There’s a program available and I meet all the requirements, but...I don’t know. It still feels like a pipe dream.” 

*** 

_“Absolutely not, Teagan,” I debated, taking a warm sip of tea. “That sounds like a great opportunity. And yeah, it’s three months away, so there's time to prepare. You should pursue it. You’ve already got a commission and it, especially as your first, would look great in your portfolio.”_

_I set my mug on the table and placed a hand on her knee. “You can be anything you want to be, anyone you want to be. You survived things that no one should have, and you’re here conquering. The sky doesn’t have to be the limit for you. I think you should definitely go for it.”_  

*** 

“You… You really think so?” 

Money wasn’t a problem. I’d done my research and, if I were to study at the college in town, it’d cost roughly around $9,650. I had the money already sitting there, given to be used for such an occasion. The only thing holding me back was my insecurities.

“The commission hasn’t been finished yet. For all you know, it could end up a complete failure.” I then pointed out. 

*** 

_“I don’t think it will, though.” I gently disagreed. “See, if that were the case, it just means you didn’t care about it, it’s whatever. But...you_ **_love_ ** _this. It’s what makes you happy, brings you enjoyment, gives you purpose in a sense. You’re on the edge of something wonderful here, and you know in your heart that you can't give it up. So you won’t, even if scares the hell out of you. You can do it. I believe that.”_  

*** 

Looking down, I thought over what all he’d said and then nodded, my mind made up. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll fill out an application and apply to study tailoring.” 

I sat back, letting it sink in. After months, even before meeting Finn, of wanting with all my might to do something, but not knowing what, I’d finally come to a decision. I had a clear path to pursue now, and, even better, it was for something I loved rather than had a mere passing interest in. 

A smile came over my face. 

*** 

_“See? There it is.” I motioned to her smile. “This is the right thing, and it’s entirely for you.”_

_I could see the glimmer in her soul pulsing this time. It now glowed like a candle burning steadily in a pitch-dark night, a great step above the fading embers it had been._

_Teagan was progressing so well, and it made me feel proud._


	35. Touch

My tea having cooled down enough that I didn’t need to keep sipping it, I started to drink the sweet liquid down. The way it warmed up my throat and chest as it made its way through was very pleasing. 

Once I’d finished the whole mug, I put it down and asked Finn, “So, what do you want to do now?” 

*** 

_ I considered for a moment before finishing off my mug. “Well, did you still want to size up the trousers? We can get that taken care of now, if you’d like.” _

*** 

I nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan.” 

And with that, I got the second part that would complete the whole outfit. It looked just as unglamorous as the top had, something I intended to change once I had the measurements done once and for all. 

“Here you go. Try them on and I’ll do the same thing I did today.” 

*** 

_ I nodded, and proceeded to remove my jeans. Quickly putting on the trousers she handed me, I made a note of the fit and the length. I lifted the hem of my t-shirt to get a better look at the waist.  _

_ “The waist is about perfect,” I said aloud. “I like the way it fits without being constricting. Inseam feels a little off in the left leg. Nothing terrible though, just a little loose. Otherwise I’m loving the way this is coming together.” _

*** 

I held up a thumb to Finn, genuinely pleased. It seemed the trousers, unlike the blazer, was relatively problem free. 

Standing up from the couch, I came to a stop in front of Finn, checking it over. “Just a little? But the right leg is okay, right? If so, I’ll check my measures for the right so I can change the left leg to match as well.”

I smiled to myself, very satisfied. “This went far better than I thought it would.” 

*** 

_ “Right leg’s totally fine, so it's all good,” I beamed back as I removed the trousers and carefully handed them back. I picked up my jeans, standing in my boxer briefs and t-shirt. “The suit is coming along great, lovely. I couldn’t be prouder of you.” _

*** 

Blushing a happy smile, I folded up the trousers and placed them back with the blazer. I’d make the needed changes the next time I was free (so probably tomorrow). 

“Want to head to bed now, or anything else you’d like to do?”

The time was 11pm. I was aware that it might be too early for Finn, but I was also aware that he’d, in his own words, had a hectic day. He might want nothing more than to just lie down and get some shut-eye. 

*** 

_ “Well... I’m not tired. But I must admit: I haven’t been able to get your ‘treat’ out of my head since you mentioned it. So…”  _

_ I added quickly, “Just so you know, there’s no pressure at all if you’re not up for it. I won’t think differently of you.” _

*** 

“I know...but I will. I’ll hate myself for it.” I confessed. “But don’t worry, it shouldn’t come to that.” 

It didn’t bother me that Finn wasn’t tired. Unlike me, he could stay up into the late hours of the night with total ease. Many times I’d ended up falling asleep next to him while he sat and watched TV. 

Walking up the stairs, I headed into the bathroom, first to brush my teeth, then to get changed out of my clothes.

*** 

_ I turned everything off and headed upstairs to our bedroom. Setting aside my jeans, I sat down at the foot of the bed and waited.  _

_ It was curious that she was so set on doing what she had in mind. I knew it was something of a sore spot for her, societal pressure being what it was. What troubled me was knowing that society had her so convinced that sex was vital to keep a man in her life and, no matter how much I cared about her regardless, that it was constantly in the back of her mind.  _

_ Some things can’t be unlearned. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t show her something better. _

*** 

Once I’d spruced myself up in the bathroom and was all ready, I made my way to the bedroom where Finn currently waited, butterflies in my stomach. 

“Okay, so, just so know, this is not it.” I announced, walking it. “Consider it a bonus.” 

I was wearing silk pajamas, a dark red long-sleeved top with matching shorts. After Finn’s ‘talk’ the other night, it’d really gotten me in the mood to buy some. So far, it was proving to be a purchase I didn’t regret. As well as being a cute attire, it was so damn soft. 

Sitting down next to Finn, I said, “I didn’t tell you how I got on today at the church, did I? Father Cody wasn’t in - he’s sick - but I got talking with this woman. Her name’s Renee, she works at the church and...you were right. You were right all along.” I smiled. “I wasn’t convinced at first, but then she told me masturbation is accepted by Protestant Christians. I know, I’m Catholic, but same religion, right? Plus, as you said, the Bible doesn’t mention it, so...why am I depriving myself if there’s nothing expressly forbidding it?” 

Licking my lips, I then continued. “It got me thinking about other things… Things that I could do because it’s also not signaled out in the Bible. ...Things that I can do with  _ you _ .” 

*** 

_ “You've got my attention,” I replied, locking her eyes in place. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and a desire she couldn’t hide.  _

_ “What did you have in mind?” _

*** 

_ Here we go. No turning back. _

I sat there, trying to figure out what would be the best way to approach this. I knew what I wanted to do, but executing it was all up in the air. It didn’t help that my mind was full of doubt - was this good enough? What if he thought it was a let down? Etc. 

Reaching to myself, I quickly paused. Finn’s blue eyes were so beautiful, but so intense…

“Ca…can we do this with the light.s off?” I suggested. “I...I’m worried I’ll screw it up if I do it like this.” __

If I did this under that watchful gaze, I might very well fall apart due to my nerves. 

*** 

_ I smiled, stroking her cheek. “Whatever you want. I know this is pretty unnerving, so do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I’m all yours.” _

*** 

“Thanks. You can turn the light back on in a second. I just need it off for this.” 

Grateful, I reached over to the table lamp next to us and quickly turned off the light. The room was drenched in darkness, save for the strip of moonlight coming through the undrawn windows. 

I relaxed. Now that I couldn’t see Finn and him me, I could do this. 

With shaking hands, I undid the buttons on my red lace top. I let it slide off, leaving me bare save for my red lace shorts. The cool air breezed against my chest. It felt awkward to be exposed like this. My gut reaction was to cover up again. 

I edged closer to Finn until I was right up close to him, short of sitting on his lap, either one of my legs resting on either side of his thighs.

Pawing the duvet, I found his hand and took it in my own - no doubt he could feel my nerves. 

I peppered soft kisses to each of his four fingers and thumb before bringing it close to my chest, the flat between my breasts. “Finn. To-touch me.” I said softly. 

*** 

_ My breath caught in my chest. I understood the brevity of the moment, what she was asking for.  _

_ If this was what she wanted, I wouldn’t make it a move she would regret.  _

_ Circling a finger where it sat on her chest, I asked softly, “If it gets uncomfortable, you tell me to stop and I will, okay?” _

***

 “Don’t worry, I won’t.” I said softly. However, I added, just to reassure him, “But, if for any reason I do, I’ll be sure to tell you.”

I lay my head against his chest, hands still clasped around his wrist. “Please…touch me.”

*** 

_ I won’t let her be denied. Not when she’d worked up the courage to do this.  _

_ Kissing the top of her head, she relaxed against me. Her hands held on lightly to my wrist as I started first with her neck and collarbone, touching her with gentleness and certainty. I stroked places I knew would be sensitive and felt her breath catch at a spot just below the ear. _

*** 

Being touched around the neck area was a strange experience. I don’t know if this was the same for other women - or people in general - but there was a part of me that wanted to withdraw. I think it was because, somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this irrational fear that it would lead to constricting, to choking. 

On the other, the gentle touches and strokes felt lovely. And, in some particular places, ticklish even. 

Releasing his hand from my grasp, I snaked my hand under his t-shirt and ran it against his bare chest. He had such smooth skin, and those hard muscles… I’d wanted to touch them since the first moment I laid eyes on them.

I couldn’t say things to Finn that most of the women in regular porn said. For one, there’d be no passion behind it as I found the phrases incredibly generic. That and, knowing me, I’d just get embarrassed and make a mess of it. I still blushed whenever Finn made a sexual innuendo, how was I going to talk dirty?  

However, that didn’t mean I didn’t have something up my sleeve. There’s more than one way to make someone feel special, after all. 

“Are you happy?” I asked him softly, laying kisses against his neck. “I hope so. I only want to make you happy. Only you, Finn. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.” I continued to run my hands up and down his warm chest. “Someone as wonderful as you deserves all the happiness in the world. Never forget that, never doubt that.” 

And then, whispering into his ear, “ _ Is tú mo chuid den tsaol. _ ” If I was correct, that was Irish for, “You mean everything to me.” Or “You are my everything.” 

*** 

_ I was reeling. _

 

_ Erotic talk in porn is rarely ever genuine or true to the viewer. Yet so many people emulate it when sex is involved that it’s no wonder it's such a joke.  _

_ But this - what Teagan was doing? It gave me genuine chills. _

_ Because this wasn’t sex. It had an electric undercurrent all its own. This was intimacy, and it was a rare gift for any soul to receive. Her affirmations, her touch, her devotion, even her saying that I meant everything to her affected me in ways no one ever had.  _

_ What could I do but give it right back?  _

_ My hand wandered a little lower, along the flat of her chest to her stomach and back up again. “Teagan...there isn’t a day that I’m with you that you don't make me feel like I’m the luckiest man alive. Everything you do makes me smile. Watching you bloom and find your joy makes me happy to be yours. And you deserve the world. I’ll tell you that every day as much as you need.”  _

_ Then, I added: “ _ **_Feicfidh tú dom i gcónaí._ ** _ You’ll always have me.” _

*** 

My breath catching in my throat, I wrapped my arms around Finn and embraced him. 

Times like these, I really resented how uncompromisingly strict the Bible was. Why did we have to be married to have sex? In this day and age, more and more people were cohabiting like we were, and we’d been together for two months straight, and still going strong. What we had wasn’t any less than what married couples had. If anything, we were happier than some of them out there. We cared for one another, so wasn’t that enough? 

Much as I wanted to, however, I couldn’t act on it. There was “cheating” and then there was outright breaking the rules and sleeping with Finn would be one of them. If I wanted my immortal soul to be safe, I was just going to have to deal with it. 

It was a shame, but, at the very least, I could do this much. 

“You’ll always have me, too. I’ll never leave you or hurt you. I’ll always be there for you, if you need me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” I kissed his lips slowly, gently, before pulling back. 

And then, perhaps channeling my inner submissive a bit too much, “I’m yours. No one else’s. Whatever you want, just ask, I’ll do it. I’m your willing slave.”

It was the heat of the moment, but, later, I’d probably be burying my head in my hands, mortified. Did I really say that? How could I? 

*** 

_ I ran a hand along her bare back when she embraced me, massaging as I went. It was her offer to be my willing slave that nearly stopped my heart. Fuck, that sounded amazing coming from her lips.  _

_ “You, my lovely Teagan, are so special to me. There’s no shame in what you want. That you trust me that way... I treasure you all the more. I would never take that - or you - for granted.”  _

_ I lifted up a bit to meet her lips, then placed a kiss on her neck, right below her ear. “Anything you want, anything you ask of me, I’ll do.” _

*** 

God, what was happening between Finn and I right now was so romantic. From the way Dawn and co had talked, you’d have thought a relationship wasn’t worth anything unless sex was involved. It was all they ever gossiped about regarding their boyfriends. I’d always got the impression they saw them less like actual people and more like dicks on legs and wallets on arms. 

Of course, it wasn’t just them. Watch some of the adverts on TV, see the movies, read the books and the importance of sex and physical attraction was emphasized to a ridiculous extent. So much so that, to me, it sometimes seemed as if everything else, like the heart and soul of the relationship, the friendship and the romance, was all but forgotten. 

That hadn’t happened with Finn and I, thankfully. People could say what they wanted, but they couldn’t deny that we were doing something right. 

“Finn.” I breathed, linking my arms around his neck. “Want me to turn the light back on or leave it off?” A blush spread over my cheeks at the realisation that he’d be able to see me topless. And, with it, some worry.  _ What if he doesn’t like what he sees? _

*** 

_ I kissed her again in the same place, letting my tongue graze against her skin there.  _

_ “I want to see you. Can I see you?” _

*** 

A shudder escaped me. Finn had a knack for finding all my sensitive spots.

“Okay…” Fumbling, I reached for the switch of the lamp and then, eyes closed, pulled it down, turning it back on. Light washed away the darkness, filling up the room. 

 

*** 

_ Teagan...had no clue how beautiful she was. Inside was a given, but outside?  _

_ Her skin was soft, smooth. Her breasts were supple and sweet. The scars that peppered her arms - signs of her survival - only made her all the more amazing.  _

_ I smiled at her, reached out to touch her shoulder, moving my fingers down until they stopped over her heart. I spoke reverently, “Teagan...you’re beautiful.” _

***

Opening my eyes, shocked, I blinked at Finn. “Really? You think so?” 

It wasn’t that I thought I was ugly. From childhood to teenagehood, no one had ever made any nasty comments on my looks or body. It’s just...no one said anything good, either. I was just there, passed over for far more beautiful girls. Any ‘compliments’ I had received until meeting Finn were from men who would bang anything that walked. Anything they said to me, they would say to the next girl, and the next. 

“Thank you. You know what I think of you.” I stroked his hand. “I think you’re perfect.” 

*** 

_ My cheeks felt warm. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard it before. It was that hers was the first to feel genuine without feeling cheap.  _

_ I pulled her in carefully, a hand behind her head, and kissed her full on the lips.  _

_ Pausing for a moment to touch her cheek, I rasped, “You amaze me.” _

***

“You make me believe in myself. When I’m with you…” And then, smiling, “Everything is awesome.” 

I had to be careful. With the way things were progressing, this could very easily descend into him and I kissing each other passionately. Then to chucking off the rest of our clothing, to not thinking of anything but touching one another and going as far as possible with each other…

I sighed. I thought this would make the no sex rule easier, but it didn’t. If anything it made it all the more frustrating. Were Finn and I, in the eyes of God, really less than a married couple? Where was the fairness in that? If He understood that pleasuring oneself was normal and natural, then surely He could tell when two people genuinely cared for one another and wanted to express and celebrate that? 

“Thank you. For still giving me a chance after our first date. For not walking away after our second date was ruined. For being there for me through all the bad times and not just good. Just...for being you.” 

***

_ “Thank you for being brave enough to take a chance on me. And for letting me make you happy.” _

_ I knew how far this could go, and it would be where she wasn’t ready to go yet. I  would honor that for her.  _

_ I placed a kiss on her cheek. “It’s getting late. You probably have a lot to do tomorrow. You should definitely get some rest.” _

*** 

“Compared to the stuff you have to do at work, it’s nothing.” I scoffed. Still, I appreciated what he was doing. It’d be so easy for him to keep pushing this, but the fact that he was respecting my beliefs meant everything. 

Reluctantly, I untangled myself from Finn and crawled to my side of the bed. “I’m keeping my top off.” I grumbled. 

In the back of my mind, it just occurred to me that Finn, not once, actually touched my breasts. I wondered if that was because he hadn’t got around to it, or if he’d feared I’d regret it come the morning if I had? 

*** 

_ “I don’t blame you at all. Me, once I start removing clothes, I don’t wanna put them back on.” I huffed cheerfully.  _

_ I settled in next to her. She probably wondered why I hadn’t touched her beyond her stomach and her collar bone. It wasn’t for lack of desire or even a matter of self-control. It was because I knew two things: _

_ 1)    There’s every chance she would regret it in the morning. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel like I saw her merely as a sexual object when she needed to be seen as a person first. She needed to come to this gradually. And... _

_ 2)    I’m still steering her to chase what she desired. She’s coming closer, and I will continue to be patient with her. _

_ I put a hand on her waist and leaned in to kiss her shoulder. “Thank you for tonight. It was amazing.” _

*** 

I smiled. My treat may not have gone how I pictured it, but I’m glad it still had the intended effect. “You’re welcome. I had a lovely night, too. And they say romance is dead!” 

“Night. Sleep well.” I closed my eyes to go to sleep. 

*** 

_ Stroking her hair, I settled in ready for a partial shut down. It had become a regular habit, visiting her dreams. She always has the most fascinating visions of her desires. And I always enjoy playing with them.  _

_ After about an hour, I decide to peek inside and see what her subconscious was up to tonight. _

 


	36. Shatter Me

The dream I had was a recurring one. 

It started two months ago. I had a dream where I was bought from a slave auction (WTF, brain?) and wound up in a house I couldn’t leave unless I learned to accept myself - my kinks and all. All my subconscious way of getting those urges fulfilled, I’m sure. 

Since then, the dream had been popping up every now and again, normally, I noticed, after I struggled with an aspect of my desires, or found my resolve to repress cracking. 

Tonight’s dream could only have been brought on by my ‘cheating’, as well as bringing out my inner submissive. I hadn’t  _ meant _ to, it’s just, at the time, I’d so wanted to please Finn and it was the only way I knew how. Talking dirty just wasn’t going to work. 

The house remained the same as always. Spacious, fancy, spotless. 

Standing up from the white couch, I made my way to the door and tried opening it. Locked. I figured as much, I still thought I’d try anyway, just in the off chance it might not be. 

Returning to the couch, I saw, sitting in the nearby chair, was the man - correction:  _ demon _ \- who had bought me from the auction and was, consequently, my jailor, the one preventing me from leaving.

“Hi, Bálor.” I said, flopping down onto the couch. When we first met, I was quite antagonistic towards him, but, truth be told, I actually thought he was an okay guy. He could be a prick at times, but I also appreciated that he was trying to help me, even if I didn’t agree with his methods. 

*** 

**I crossed my legs on the table in front of me, with a knowing smirk. “Welcome back, Teagan. It’s been a while.”**

**Oh, how I missed this dream.**

*** 

I narrowed my eyes. Did he have to look so smug about it? 

“Don’t you have anything better to do than torment me?” I grumbled. “This is stupid. I don't care if I never leave this place, I’m fine staying right here. What do you think about that?” 

It wasn’t that I was trying to antagonise him, so much as I was going to fight this every step of the way. 

*** 

**“I think you’re a feisty smartass who can’t allow an old demon a little satisfaction. Don’t get me wrong, though - that’s one of your** **_best_ ** **qualities.”**

**Quickly I hopped to my feet and strode casually towards her. “Besides, if you were really fighting this, you wouldn’t be back here. We wouldn’t be having this conversation.” I leaned in close to whisper, “And you wouldn’t need my help.”**

**I winked and my eyes flashed red before returning to my cool blue. Heading to my chair, I ask, “So what’s on that beautiful mind of yours?”**

*** 

Much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. I could pretend I didn’t care all I wanted, but I did. If I hadn’t, opening the door wouldn’t have been the first thing I did, nor would I be resisting him. 

I shrugged at his question. “I don't know… Wondering what you have in store for me this time, I guess. And why you can’t just let me leave already.” 

***

**“Maybe I feel like we get along so well,” I replied. “Maybe it's because you’re still sorely repressed and have questions that need answering. Personally, I think it’s both. Now…”**

**In a snap, two large mugs, a full French press of hot coffee, a small container of creamer, and a dish of sugar cubes appeared on the table. There was also a plate with cherry cheese danish pastries. I prepared my cup.**

**“Have a seat and tell me what’s going on. Again, no judgement here. Speak your mind.”**

*** 

I don’t think I’d ever get used to Bálor’s powers. “How do you  _ do _ that? Do you literally just snap your fingers and stuff is there, like magic? Or, does it all come from somewhere?” 

“Oh, and thank you.” Taking two sugar cubes, I dropped them into my mug of coffee. After stirring it around so the sugar spread, I picked up one of the cherry cheese danish pastries and bit into it. It was delicious. 

***

**“Hmmm…” I took a sip. “When I want something, I will it into existence. I don't have to wait for anyone's approval, nor for availability. It's always within my reach; I only have to take the initiative and go for what I want.”**

***

I sighed, putting my mug down. “Look, I get you want to help, but, I’m repressed because I  _ want _ to be. Accepting my desires is all well and good, but get real! Things out in the real world doesn’t work that way. And besides, some things shouldn’t be accepted. Some things are best kept hidden.” 

*** __

**I took a satisfying bite of danish. After another sip of coffee, I continue, “You probably think that’s incredibly bastardly of me, and maybe you're right. But why should I apologize for what I want when they won’t apologize for being judgmental assholes? So you’ll understand why I don’t take anything society has to say about my pleasures.”**

**“Some things should be kept hidden, this is true. But never to such self-destructive levels of repression. I’m not saying announce it to the world, don’t get me wrong. They don't need to know what turns you on or what brings you joy. But you do, Teagan. You frustrate yourself needlessly with things that affect no one, harm no one, but yourself. You have an entire world inside you wanting to burst forth, and it’s killing you, isn’t it? Keeping it all inside hurts. Finding a way to channel that is what I’m here for. I want to help. But I need you to want that for yourself, too.”**

***

“...I  _ do _ want that for myself. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be sitting here, having coffee, would we? No, I wouldn’t be able to speak or move and you’d be using me as a piece of furniture again.” I commented dryly. 

The first time he’d punished me for disrespect, he’d forced me to be his footstool. The second, after I swore at him again? As a chair. I was in pretty much the same position as I was in the footstool, only he sat on my back rather than resting his feet on it. And, unlike the first punishment, this time he didn’t go so easy on me. He’d kept me in that position for an  _ hour _ \- oh, and all the while eating the food he cooked, commenting on how delicious it was and how I could be enjoying it, too, if I wasn’t so rude. 

As I said before, Bálor was kind of a dick at times. ...And I liked it. That’s what got to me most. I hated the punishments, but, at the same time, I  _ loved _ them. 

“I tried to channel my urges before and it didn’t work out too well for me, so sorry if I don’t have faith in what you’re telling me.” I replied. “See, that’s the thing about those judgemental asseholes in the world. They’re not satisfied with just judging you, they want to make you suffer. You hear about these stories all the time! I had a teacher at my school who was caught getting whipped by a dominatrix at a hotel and he was sacked from his job for being a sexual deviant! A person shows  _ any _ interest in BDSM or extreme kinks and suddenly they’re sick in the head or a freak. They  _ must _ have been abused to be the kind of person they are. Yeah, I was, but that has nothing to do with it! I didn’t ask to be this way, and it’s not like they’re so goddamn perfect!” 

“And you’re wrong, by the way. Some things  _ should _ be repressed. Bad things don’t stop being bad because it turns you on or brings you joy.” 

*** 

**I looked at her, impressed. “Wow... awful lot of bullets fired. And you still missed the point.”**

**Her eyes widened in indignation.**

**“And before you get it in your head that I think your ideas are utter bullshit…it’s true, I absolutely disagree with you. But you have once again proved why you’re here and, judging by your vehemently weak defense of your own repression, why it’ll be awhile before you can leave.”**

**I stood to my feet and pushed my chair back. “You literally sat here and kicked your own ass. BDSM isn’t filthy or wrong, and deviancy doesn’t mean you’re a devil-worshipping delinquent. It just means that what everyone else considers normal isn’t your idea of normal. That doesn’t make it bad, just different. And some of the most well-adjusted people practice it. You know why? Because it helps them take those feelings and channel them in ways that make them feel better. Your past doesn’t dictate whether you practice it, and you’re not wrong to want it. And seriously, if you’re letting people who don't know you tell you how to live your life... you’ve got far worse issues than just sexual repression, my dear.”**

**I lowered myself to her eye level. “Why should your happiness be wrapped up in their approval? You survived hell in your home and on the street. Who the fuck are they to dictate what’s right or wrong in a life they sought to ruin? You give me a reasonable answer to that, I'll back off. If not, though...I’ll just have to teach you a new lesson.”**

*** 

At first, I was incensed. Even if he made some good points, why did he have to be such a dick about it? For a second, I was close to telling him to go fuck himself or throwing one of the pastries at him, but I was quickly able to reign myself in. Didn’t feel like being furniture right now, not when I’d just got here. 

What had started out as angry tears turned to frustration the more Bálor talked. He was right, and, in an ideal world, that’s how it’d be. But it wasn’t as simple as that! I could not give a shit what others thought and it wouldn’t help me when they found out and drove me out of my home or lost me my job, ruined my social life, etc. I’d already had it happened to me once, I really didn’t want it to happen again. 

Wiping my eyes, I gave him the best answer I could think of. “O-Okay, maybe not  _ their  _ approval, but...it’s not like it’s just me. I’ve got to have  _ some _ consideration. Like, what if I meet someone and really like them? I can’t tell them about my kinks and turn-ons, they’ll leave me the first chance they get! You don’t understand, I...” 

Wanting him to understand, I blurted out one of my more shameful kinks. “I...I get turned on by rape-play. Dub-con, I think it’s called. I-I’m not saying I condone it for real, because I don’t! But...I like to fantasise about being taken against my will. You’re telling me that’s not completely fucked up? How can I tell anyone that? How?!” I stared at Bálor, waiting for his expression to turn to one of revulsion or a sign that he agreed with my sentiment.  

It was like trying to explain my love of domination and submission. If I had to put it into words, I’d describe the complete loss of control that came from it, from giving myself over to a more dominant force as incredibly liberating. I felt safe, fulfilled, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All my problems and responsibilities were out of sight and out of mind. I didn’t need to be afraid anymore because the one I was submitting was there to protect me, to be there for me. All I needed to do was to serve. I was...free.

Of course, others would just it as me setting feminism back a few decades. Me being weak, me needing to grow up and act like an adult, etc. 

It almost made me want to stay here instead. At least here there was no judgement…

***

**“Well, you** **_could_ ** **stay here...but I doubt you’ll be happy being kept. Especially by such an incessant dick.”**

***

I shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re a dick, but that’s one of the things I like about you, and, as far as prisons go, it’s not so bad. We’ll never run out of the important stuff because all you need to do is go ‘snap’ and it’s there. Can just spend the rest of my life here, with you, being free from all the expectations and bullshit out there. You’re also you, so I know I’m safe.” I mused. “...More I think about it, the more appealing the idea is.” 

***

**Smirking, I then became serious for a moment. “You would be pretty surprised how many people have that very same kink. Rape play isn’t about wanting to be raped. It’s considered 'play’ for a reason. Dub-con is not uncommon. It’s essentially rough sex in a fantasy scenario where the recipient sets the parameters with someone they trust. That’s the key right there. You have control over how it goes. In fact, it’s the same as in a Dom/sub situation. The submissive holds more power than you think. It’s empowering to know that you hold the cards. You say whether something is all-go or hell-no. The Dominant is the facilitator - they’re the one you trust to make your fantasy real, and the one to take care of you afterwards. They assume only the power you give them. So for you to give that level of power, that level of trust...it’s sacred. Knowing they can take the reins when you need them to and you trust them to take you where you want to be - that’s freedom. No one else has to understand that. Just you and whomever you give that part of yourself to. It’s not rocket science. It’s knowing when to let go, and knowing who you trust to catch you.”**

*** 

I exhaled and buried my face in my hands as Bálor spoke. As expected, he didn’t judge me, and everything he said was the truth, but...again, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe him. Sure, I just had to meet the right person who I trusted to open up to about this, to fulfill that part of me. But what if I met someone who I thought was that person, only to find out I’d got it all wrong? What if they rejected me and left me? It’d kill me! 

“I don’t know!” I lamented. “You’re right. And I  _ want  _ to believe you, but it’s not that simple!” I repeated the very words I’d been thinking since I came here. 

***

**I heaved a sigh and proceeded gently. “I asked you the first night you arrived what you were afraid of, and I think I just got it. It's not simple because of the possibility of rejection. You know what I’m suggesting isn’t impossible, not by a long shot. You know I’m right, but you’re scared shitless of being hurt or being rejected. That’s why it's not simple - because it means you have to put yourself out there at the risk of getting hurt.”**

**“Hate to break it to you, love, but that’s essentially what life is. Taking rejection, chalking it up to experience, learning from what happened, and moving on. The difference here is that you’ve been hurt so much that you’re terrified of trying. And you’re so terrified that you think something is wrong with you when, really, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re human with desires, dreams, thoughts, and feelings. but you weren’t allowed to learn what those were. Truth is, and I’m sorry about this, that you’re a mystery even to yourself.”**

*** 

And Bálor hit it right on the nail yet again. There wasn’t a single thing he’d said which I could deny or argue against.

So, I said the only thing I could. “I..I’ve had  _ nothing _ in my life so far. When you have nothing and you get something good, you treasure it with all your heart and do everything you can to keep it. You don’t want to lose it, because if you do…you’re back to nothing again, and it’s…” I tried to find the words to describe the loneliness, the sorrow. “...Hell. It’s Hell. And, yeah, I’ll admit it. I’m too much of a coward to take the chance because, while it could go really well, it could go really wrong and I don’t want to take the risk and fuck up the good thing I’ve finally got. You understand that, don’t you?” 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. Like you said, I don’t even know myself.” I commented bitterly. 

*** 

**“It matters. It absolutely matters,” I argued carefully. “These things are not exclusive. Here, I’ll explain. You’re used to taking every good thing that comes, holding onto it with both hands and hoping to never lose it. That’s also life: knowing you could eventually lose it for one reason or another and you still cherish it. You keep living in the hopes that something better will come. But what if you knew that you could just...go get it? If you’re not happy, if you’re not where you want to be, you fight for that life. It seems that you’re not sure what that’s like, to fight for yourself or to have someone fight for you. You don’t even know that you’re worth fighting for. So you deny yourself to make someone else happy, and you continue to hide and be miserable.”**

**I looked her fully in the eyes. “That’s not what you deserve, Teagan Dunn. That’s not how your story needs to end. You're capable of so much more. You should never have to hide. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you were capable of being more than you are.”**

***

“I… I…” I struggled to respond, finding the words wouldn’t come to me. Bálor’s declaration shook me to the core and had quite literally left me speechless. 

_ Just go get it? Can I really do that? _ I thought. Throw caution to the wind and finally set free that which I’d repressed for so long? Come what may, and if they rejected me, then move on because that’s life and life is sometimes a bitch? 

Finding it too much, too soon to talk about, I tried to run away, put up another wall. “Th-that’s really nice of you to say, but it still doesn’t matter. My religion forbids it since it counts as sexual immorality, so...yeah. Guess I won’t be getting it.” I made to get up off the couch. “I want to be alone for a bit, so I’m going to head to my room…”

*** 

**“I was wondering when that religious defense would show up,” I chuckled as she paused mid-stride. “That’s always been your go-to, hasn’t it? Your crutch, your hiding place, whatever you want to call it. Tell me truly, Teagan...has it ever occurred to you that your religion isn’t what's keeping you together, but causing your identity crisis?”**

*** 

“What do you mean? ‘Religious defense’...  It’s not about what’s keeping me together, it’s about following my religion! A Muslim doesn’t eat pork because his religion forbids it, and I can’t engage in my BDSM kink because it’s seem as sexual impurity! It’s as simple as that!” I shot back, becoming vexed. “And yeah, so there’s been a few times where I’ve hated the fact that I’m a Catholic, but how I feel doesn’t matter! You don’t hear a Buddhist complaining about not being able to break the vegetarian rule, so why should I with my desires and my religion?” 

*** 

**I stood up and staring her dead in the face, I began, “Like I said, ‘religious defense’. And you know what I heard in the middle of all that?” I recited her words back to her, in her own voice, “** _ ‘How I feel doesn’t matter!’ _ **”**

**Her face turned ashen.**

**I cleared my throat and returned to my normal voice, walking to the middle of the room. “Fucking really, Teagan? Listen. I’m a demon, which means I know the Bible word for word. But I also know every religious philosophy that exists. Did you know that of all world religions in existence, the only ones that seek to take away a woman’s identity aside from being with a man are Christianity, Judaism, and Islam? So it honestly doesn't matter because this life was chosen for you. You didn’t choose your faith; you were force-fed it. You were indoctrinated which, far as I’m concerned, is the same as child abuse. A healthy human being is supposed to have their basic needs met: food, shelter, medical care, a sense of belonging and acceptance. You’re supposed to also have a safe environment to grow and develop, to make your own choices. You never got that particular need met, so it’s completely alien to you. Take away the religion, and the question remains:** **_who are you, Teagan Dunn?_ ** **”**

*** 

“...Well, I…  _ I don’t know! _ I don’t know, okay? Religion has pretty much taken up my life so far, there was no room for anything else. Happy!?” I cried. “And so what if I was force-fed my religion, it’s still all true, isn’t it? I mean, your existence pretty much proves it! I...I am  _ not _ giving up my religion! I can’t change how my life started, but I can make sure when it ends, I’ll be going somewhere good.” 

“Now,” I said, shaking all over. “I am going to my room. I’m sorry, I-I know you have good intentions, but I can’t talk about this anymore.” 

I began to walk away, trying to get upstairs before Bálor could say anything else to halt me. 

*** 

**“I don’t believe I gave you permission to leave yet.”**

**Okay, so I sounded a touch demonic, but this was necessary.**

**I turned to face her, eyes blood red this time. “It's time for your next lesson. Which means you either return willingly, or I offer assistance.”**

*** 

_ For fuck’s sake… _

I’d hoped he’d leave me be, let me go have a moment’s peace and try and process - okay, repress or delude myself - everything. But, no, Bálor wasn’t finished with me just yet. He was being nothing short of merciless tonight. 

I turned to face him and, trying not to remain calm and not flinch at the sight of those red eyes, said, “I want to leave.  _ Please.  _ Can’t we have the lesson later? Does it have to be now?!” 

*******

**I considered it for a moment, I really did...but any chance she had to herself would only allow her to delude herself again. Hence why the lesson had to be taught.**

**“You’re the reason it's necessary. What was it you told me a moment ago?** _ ‘How I feel doesn't matter’ _ **? Yeah, we’re going with that today.”**

**A snap of my fingers lifted her from the stairs, arms and legs bound by tendrils, until she hovered over me by inches. “Did you really think I’d give you a chance to blind yourself again? Delude yourself or whatever helps you sleep at night? You’ve lived a lie long enough!”**

**I set her down on her feet, none too gently, but kept her body frozen to the spot.**

**“Like I said, time for your lesson.”**

***

When he echoed the words I’d used against me, I was fuming. If not for the fact that his powers were preventing me, I probably would have sworn at him or stormed off.

I tried to struggle against the demonic binding, but, just like the last time, I couldn’t break free. It literally felt as if my arms were clamped to my sides and my legs together. Escape was impossible. 

“I don’t want the lesson!” I yelled, tears pooling in my eyes. Unable to wipe them, they soon began to fall. “ _ Goddammit! _ Why’d you have to be such a bastard?! I don’t deserve this, I didn’t do anything wrong this time! I didn’t swear at you, I wasn’t rude! I just wanted a fucking timeout!” 

***

**“You wanted to run back to your shell, to return to what you do best: bury your head in the sand. Not happening this time, Teagan.”**

**A pause, and then, “And you were** **_rude_ ** **. You were absolutely fucking rude...to yourself. And that’s the worst part of all. You hate yourself so fucking much that you’d rather live a lie than face the truth. You won’t even give yourself a fighting chance! You keep laying down to die, and it’s so bad you don't even know you're doing it.”**

_ ***  _

“Rude to myself? Oh, come on! That is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard! I’d rather you told me that you just wanted to punish me -  _ that _ I’d believe!” I protested. 

I gritted my teeth at the rest. God, I’d had just about all I could take of all this talking. It was bad enough, normally, but today was just too much. Bálor was pressing and pushing me even more than usual and I was  _ not _ handling it well at all. 

“Since you’re not going to let me go, let’s get the goddamn lesson over with. What are you going to do to me this time?” 

***

**“Oh, this is an easy one, smart ass.” I moved out of her line of vision. A snap of my fingers, a full-length mirror appeared in front of Teagan.**

**I released her arms and legs, then gave a simple order, in a tone that showed this wasn't up for debate. “On your knees. Hands behind your back.”**

*** 

Eyeing the mirror warily -  _ What the hell is this? _ \- I obeyed his order, if only because I could tell that trying to run away or refusing would be a very stupid move to make.

Once I was in the position he wanted, I waited.

*** 

**“Since you think I’m spouting bullshit and this is a fucking game, you should be able to accomplish a simple task. Tell me about all the things you love. The things that bring you joy. The things that calm your soul after a hard day. This mirror,” I motioned to it, “is not your ordinary mirror. It’s made to show you your soul. Every time you lie, a dark crack shows up on your face, to reflect the damage you do to yourself. But when you speak the truth, your soul glows a bit brighter, healing the hurt you might cause. Do it enough, the mirror shatters, and you’ll free yourself from the circle. A bit of warning, though: the cracks hurt like a** **_bitch_ ** **.”**

**With a pasted on smile, I added, “It begins...now. Good luck. You’ll need it.”**

*** 

Looking back and forth between him and the mirror, I listened as he explained to me what the lesson would be.  _ That’s it? That’s not too bad. I can do that. I’ll have this over and done with in no time. _

“Well…I really like Harry Potter…” I said, testing the waters. I smiled as I saw my reflection glow ever so slightly. “I also love LEGO.” I grinned when the glow increased. I didn’t know how many times this had to happen before the mirror shattered, but I had this in the bag. 

“Okay, what else? ...Oh, I like being a Christian, it helped-” 

I couldn’t finish my sentence, a scream replacing my words. I felt a burning sensation, as if my skin was being carved, and my eyes widened when I saw, in my reflection, a dark crack form on my cheek, just as Finn said.

“What? No! No, I am  _ not _ lying! Take it back!” I accused. “Okay, it’s not easy, sometimes I find myself wondering why I’m bothering, and questioning if God really is there, but...but I am happy to call myself a Christian-!” 

I screamed again. Another crack. 

“I...I like cooking.” Relief flooded me as my reflection glowed and one of the cracks disappeared. “And I like Netflix.” The other crack healed.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of what to say next. I don’t know whether it was faulty, rigged, or if it could honestly read me better than I, myself, could, but, either way, it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.

“Does it have to be what I like? Does saying stuff I don’t like work, too?” I asked Bálor. 

*** 

**“Hmmm...it’s probably easier to list what you don’t like about yourself than what you love. This should open it up a bit more: name everything that’s true about yourself.”**

*** 

Everything true about myself? Well, that did make it a bit more specific, I suppose. 

Staring at the mirror, I mulled it over in my head, before settling on, “I’m happy with my life right now.” 

I wasn’t surprised when I felt the pain, saw the crack appear. Even I knew I was kidding myself with that one.

“Fine. I’m not entirely happy. It could be better.” The crack disappeared.

“...I still find it hard to say positive things about myself.” It was with great bitterness that I watched the reflection glow, confirming what I said was true. “I find it hard because there’s nothing I can say-” 

Pain, and then a crack appeared, as if mocking me. 

I took a breath. “My kinks and desires are wrong. I’m in the right for repressing them.”

I screamed. Another crack. 

“It’s for the best! These desires will only hurt me in the long ru-” I couldn’t finish. Pain yet again. 

Three cracks now graced my face in my reflection. 

I glared at the mirror. This...this wasn’t fair! I don’t care what Bálor said about it reflecting the truth of the heart and soul, I was not lying!

“My faith saved me when I was homeless-”

Another crack. “ _ For fuck’s sake! _ ” I slammed my fist on the surface. “Every single fucking time I say anything! This is bullshit!” 

“What I’m doing, for my religion, repressing my urges, it’ll be worth it in the end!” 

Dark crack. Four now. 

Breathing heavily, I started yelling at the mirror, as if it were sentient. 

“It’s my fault I ended up homeless!” Pain. “I was doing something I shouldn’t have.” More pain. “I should have kept on taking the pills, they would have made my life a lot easier.” Another dark crack adorns my reflection.  _ They just won’t stop coming. _

There’s not much I can say that I haven’t said already. There are a few, but I’m too afraid to say them for fear of what might happen. Every time I think I’m telling the truth, the mirror reveals it to be just me lying to myself. 

I futilely try one last time. “Finn… I really like him. I might even love him. I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way before.” My reflection glows, healing one crack. “He’s too good for me.” I screamed.  _ Not again! _ “I don’t deserve him.” Pain, one that’s becoming increasingly familiar. “I know that, sooner or later, I’m going to fuck it all up.”

Another dark crack appeared on my face. At this point, I was expecting it since nothing I said was correct, according to the mirror.

I broke down sobbing. I couldn’t take this anymore. I’d completely lost count of how many dark marks there were on my face now and, even worse, I had no idea how to make this stop. I knew I had to tell the truth, but I thought that’s what I was doing!

“I can’t make it stop!” I pounded my fist on the ground. “I don’t know what to say! Nothing I say seems to work!” 

*** 

**I went to Teagan's side and knelt down next to her. Gazing at her anguished reflection, I’d have to be heartless not to be affected.**

**Gently, I explained, “That’s because you’re not telling your truth. You’re going by what others told you, what you think you know, but your soul is hurting. It’s hurting because everything you’re speaking from your head isn’t true. It’s whatever you were made to believe. What about your heart? Does it not have a say? Does it not have a voice? Have you given it one at all?”**

**I turned to her and placed a hand on her back in comfort. “Forget what you see, forget what you were made to think. What do you** **_feel_ ** **, Teagan? Find your truth there.”**

**Carefully, I helped her lift her head to face the mirror. She looked all but shattered. “Look up and see the damage. Remember how this feels to your soul. Take it in, and try again. I can’t do this for you. No one could. Only** **_you_ ** **can free yourself.”**

*** 

I could barely stand to look at myself. Any more dark cracks and  _ my _ reflection would shatter, not the mirror. I knew how to make them go away, but that would require exposing some truths I wasn’t willing to face, or that I might not even know myself. 

Taking a shuddering breath, I started from the beginning. 

“There are positive things about me.” My reflection glowed, and a crack disappeared. “I just can’t see them. People tell me, but...I still find it hard to believe.”

“...My desires and urges aren’t wrong. Repressing them is hurting me, not helping me.” 

I stared as another crack disappeared. That was the truth? ...Really? It didn’t feel that way…

“If I do accept this part of me, and find someone who does, too, I won’t regret it. It won’t hurt me in the end, like I believe.” 

“My faith didn’t save me when I was homeless. Religion had nothing to do with it. I saved myself.”

“Repressing myself, being the Catholic I am...it’s not worth it.”

 That one hurt, more than any of the cracks. I’d been telling myself this every damn day of my life, so much so it was a life mantra. I  _ must _ keep doing this, because it’ll be worth it in the end. I  _ must _ keep doing this, because I’ll go to Heaven, etc. To have proof that I was kidding myself, that it would  _ never _ feel worth it...was a hard pill to swallow. 

Fighting to hold back the tears, I managed to say, “...It’s...It’s not my fault I wound up homeless.  _ It’s not my fault. _ ”

I broke down because, since the day it happened, till now, I’d truly believed that was the case. Even when I came to terms with the abuse, I steadfastly believed my mother had been in the right to chuck me out of the house, to disown me. Seeing my reflection glow, saying “You’re wrong,”...it was too much.

“I don’t want to do this anymore!”

*** 

**“You’re almost there. See? There at the upper left corner.”**

**Her teary eyes followed, and squinted as if seeing something unbelievable. If she wasn’t in so much pain, she would have noticed right away, but this was as good a time as any.**

**There was a sharp crack in the mirror.**

**“Every truth you face about yourself hurts. Always does. But it heals you as well. The feeling of temporary discomfort before healing is nothing compared to the feeling of your soul dying every day of your life. It dies, you’re not living. You barely exist. And you’re so much more than that.”**

**I rose to my feet and moved to stand next to the mirror. “This is, surprisingly, the toughest lesson of all - who actually** **_wants_ ** **to face themselves? Most people look at a mirror and hate what they see, yet they accept it instead of fighting to change it. But this is your chance to end the cycle. Hate me all you want later, it doesn’t matter. This does. Rip off every one of those bandages and allow yourself to heal. Stand up for yourself. Silence those voices once and for all. Fight back… for once in your fucking life, Teagan,** **_fight back_ ** **!”**

*** 

Wiping my eyes, even though the tears were still falling, I looked back at the mirror. The face on my reflection didn’t look as if it were near breaking point anymore. The glow had also returned to my body. 

“My mother was wrong to make me feel bad, to tell me I’d done something wrong. I wasn’t doing anything I shouldn’t be, I wasn’t hurting anyone. I was doing something natural.” 

Another crack disappeared.

“And I don’t wish I’d never gone off the pills.” I sighed. “They wouldn’t have made my life easier, they’d have just killed me in the end.” 

I knew that. I’d  _ always _ known that. It was just, sometimes, when at my worst, I found myself wondering otherwise. And sometimes I believed it.

Three left remaining on my face… 

“Finn isn’t too good for me. I just think that. And I  _ know _ I shouldn’t, but it’s hard not to. It’s hard to undo  _ years _ of being made to feel like I’m less than human.” I exhaled. “I  _ do _ deserve him. I deserve to be happy.” There was only one remaining… “If...If I haven’t fucked up things with him after two months, chances are I won’t now. I only think that way because I’m terrified, if he finds out about my kinks, he’s going to leave me. And I don’t want that.” My voice broke. “He’s the first really good thing I’ve ever had in my life and I can’t lose him!”

“But, I’m not happy.” Another glow, another crack on the mirror. “I’m not happy with my faith. It’s imposing on my happiness with Finn and it’s killing me inside.” 

“...I hate being a Catholic. The only reason I am is because I feel I  _ have _ to be. I wish I could just walk away, but my mother made me so afraid of what would happen to me after I die, that I feel, if I did, that’d be it. I’d be damning myself. I had a chance to stop it, and I didn’t.” More cracks on the mirror, my reflection glowed ever brighter. “Plus, it’s my crutch. I need it in case I wind up in a bad situation again. Because if I don’t, I’m scared I won’t be strong enough to handle it. I’ll crumble and die.” 

“I’m sick of always worrying about rules and pleasing a God who I’m not even sure exists. And I’m sick of repressing things I have no control over and is only making me unhappy. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this, only to die and find out it was all for nothing. I want to be  _ happy _ .” My eyes widened as a realisation hit me. “And I’ll never be happy so long as I stay the way I am. ...So long as I’m a Catholic, or believe my kinks and desires are wrong…” 

I looked up as the mirror cracked and fell apart right before my eyes. 

*** 

**The smile on my face is huge.**

**Teagan isn’t fading like a dying star.**

**And she isn’t a burned-out ember.**

**Too bad this won’t translate in her waking life just yet. But she’ll come to these truths gradually.**

**I watched as the mirror finally shattered, shards falling away and breaking even further. The flyaway bits hit her face like spring rain, never cutting or hurting. The circle of energy that bound her there dissipated around her.**

**I backed off and walked back to the white couch while she collected herself, preparing the space for aftercare.**

***

_ I wonder if I can open the door now and leave? _

The thought crossed my mind and I entertained the notion of trying it out, but I quickly stopped myself. 

_ No. Even if I could, it’s not time. I still need time. _

Shakily, I rose to my feet and made my way back to the white couch where Bálor waited. Wanting to lighten the mood a bit - as was typical with us, things had gotten quite heated there for a second - I sat down next to him and said, “Don’t ever quit your day job and become a teacher. I don’t think your students would survive your lessons.”

***

**“Not all of them anyway,” I smirked. “Some just don’t have the stomach for it. Lie down, legs on my lap.”**

**She turned and stretched out on the couch, her legs across my lap from the knee down. I went ahead and began applying the soothing cream I used after every lesson involving physical duress.**

**“How are you feeling?” I asked after a few beats of silence.**

***

“As per usual, emotionally battered.” I sighed. “It’s why I’m not too fond of our talks. I always know I’m going to be crying by the end of it.” 

“...But, I don’t know...I also feel like I’ve had an epiphany? I now know what I must do. Just like I had to face up to my parent’s abuse to grow as a person, I know that, to live a happy, fulfilling life, I’ve got to ditch the Catholicism and find a religion that works for me. Or not. I don’t have to follow any religion and that’s okay.” I exhaled. “I also need to accept the fact that I like BDSM and nothing is going to change that. And that’s not a bad thing. With the internet now, people are accepted for far worse kinks. At least mine is one of the more acknowledged ones out there. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I’m not hurting anyone, and it’s healthier to explore it than repress it. There’s a reason ‘Pray the Gay Away’ camps don’t work. You can’t change who you are and trying to pretend otherwise only hurts you. ...Right?” 

***

**“Well, look at you,” I teased. “You** **_can_ ** **be taught.”**

**Naturally, she kicked me in the thigh. “I deserved that,” I conceded, still grinning. “No, you’ve got it. Nailed it right on the head. I’d give you a gold star, but I don’t keep sticker charts. I can give you something else though, as a reward for your progress. Your choice.”**

*** 

I then heaved a sigh. “I’m still not ready, you know. Just because I now accept these things about myself and I know what I have to do, doesn’t mean I’ll be able to do it. I can’t just snap my fingers, like you do,” I mimicked him, “and there you go, problem solved. It’s....It’s been conditioned into me  _ so much _ that it’s not just a mental thing, it’s physical as well. I think about giving up my faith or just easing up and I get so scared, I can’t move, I can’t think. I just freeze up, and fall apart. Same for my kinks. I think about them or come close to acting them out and, suddenly, I feel like I’m going to throw up. I panic and feel ashamed and guilty and then I’m right back to square one.” 

“You shouldn’t reward me. Knowing me, I’m going to get cold feet and wind up back here again.” 

*** 

**“This isn’t meant to be easy. If it were, it wouldn’t be worth it. In a perfect world, everyone would do it and be who they were meant to be. But this isn’t, and it seems like everyone’s content with mind-numbing sameness.”**

**I shrugged, and continued to massage her legs, kneading the calves and working towards the ankles. “To change is to endure pain. But the freedom that comes with it makes the pain worthwhile. Never be afraid of the pain that comes with change. That’s what makes you stronger. And you do deserve a reward. These weren’t easy truths to come to. Anything you want, within reason.”**

*** 

I tried to think of what reward I could request. 

In the end, I went with, “...In case I really do end up in Hell because of this...can you put in a good word for me? They have to know that it's not all black and white. I’m not a bad person, I’ve never set out to hurt anyone or done anything bad, even when I was homeless and it would have made my life a lot of easier. I’m just me. Promise me you’ll do that?” 

***

**“Of course. But you gotta know, Teagan, you really are a good person, through and through. I hardly believe God would find fault with you wanting to be happy. He made you with free will so you could find what makes you happy or miserable. It’s your choice. It always is. As long as you harm none, do what you will.”**

*** 

“It doesn’t feel that way.” I muttered. “But, what do I know? You’re the demon, not me.” 

There was another stretch of silence, Bálor tending to me as I sat there, pondering over everything. 

“Should I tell him?” I asked suddenly. “Finn? I  _ want _ to, but… It’s still too early to tell. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but there were others I told who I thought would understand and they didn’t.” 

“Would it be too soon? Would I be running before I can walk? I still need to sort myself out regarding my faith. Until I do that, I can’t really do anything with my kinks and sexuality... And how do I even tell him? Do I just spit it straight out or ease it in gently, bit by bit? Urgh.” I groaned out loud. “This is so nerve-wracking! What if he leaves me!?” 

*** 

**“Breathe, Teagan. I think he’d be more understanding, even receptive to the idea than you believe.” Absolutely true, by the way. “However you choose to tell him, whenever you choose to tell him, just do it and prepare for whatever comes. But I’m telling you, the probability of this going south is non-existent.”**

**I began working on her feet, making sure to hit all the pressure points as I went.“You really should give yourself some credit. You haven’t frightened him off with everything else. I doubt he’ll run if you tell him what makes you hot under the collar. He might even be happy to oblige.” I waggled my eyebrows mischievously.**

*** 

I flopped back down into my lying position, staring anxiously up at the ceiling. “I guess you’re right... God, I hate uncertainty!” 

After that, I just let myself enjoy the sensation of the killer foot rub my demon friend was giving me. Every so often a thought or worry would enter my mind and I’d speak it out loud, knowing Bálor would respond and cut it to me straight. 

“I wish...I could be as good to him as he’s good to me. He’s done so much for me, and he’s so nice, and…” I threw my hands up in the air. “I feel like, no matter how good and caring I am in return, it will never be enough. The ratio between us is too skewed. I’m, like, a 10 to his 50, if that makes sense?” I said, choosing a number at random.

*** 

**“It makes sense. Honestly, it seems to come down to two things. One, up until now you’ve subconsciously held back, for fear of him leaving, so it doesn’t hurt as much when it inevitably happens. But he’s still around and you’re not sure what to do about it. Alright, sit up and turn your back to me.”**

**She eased up slowly and adjusted so she was facing the opposite end of the couch. Moving her hair over one shoulder, I gave her shoulders some attention. “Two, did it ever occur to you that maybe he gives so much because you needed it so badly? Nothing wrong with that. He’s just, quite frankly, loving you while you learn to love yourself.”**

***

“You… You think he loves me?” 

The ‘L word’ had entered my mind a few times, but I’d always pushed it away. ‘ _ It’s much too soon to be thinking that _ ’, I’d think to myself, or ‘ _ Don’t be ridiculous, as if it’s that. _ ’ I hadn’t considered it, because, if I did, and it turned out to be false? It’d be heartbreaking. 

Basically, I was doing the exact same thing I did with my desires. Refusing to try for fear of failure. 

“This is the first serious relationship…” I paused, remembering Caleb. Engagement had been in talks, so that wasn’t true. I corrected myself. “The first relationship I’ve had which I actually care about...and I really don’t know what I’m doing. Everything I know about relationships have been from other people and sources. I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong and it’s really confusing…” 

*** 

**I exaggerated a sigh as I hit a trigger point near her neck. “I swear, you humans are so over-analytical sometimes. Love isn’t something that just happens to you on a timeframe. It simply is. Different types - friendly, familial, romantic - same concept. It’s an affinity that happens at the start or not at all, even if you start out hating each other. It just becomes more evident as time goes by. If this man stayed with you, knowing your past, and he’s doing everything he can to make you feel good about yourself despite yourself...how is that** **_not_ ** **love? Just give yourself time. And watch him closely. You’ll see what I mean.”**

**“As for the rest,” I continued, “it’s** **_your_ ** **relationship. No one else’s. Only people you need to answer to are each other. And take whatever time you need. No milestones to chase, no guidelines to aspire to. Just learn from each other, enjoy one another’s company.”**

*** 

I nodded, closing my eyes. “Okay. If you say so.” 

Sitting there, enjoying the neck rub, I decided to ask Bálor a question about himself. There’d been enough discussion about me. 

“How come you’re here instead of...I don’t know, doing demon stuff? Why me?” 

*** 

**“What’s ‘demon stuff’? Oh, right... tormenting people and leading them to Hell.” I rolled my eyes. My hands worked lower to the middle of her back.**

**“Well, I’ll say this: the nice thing about being a master of my domain is doing whatever the hell I want.”**

*** 

Eyes widening, I tried to look at the demon over my shoulder. “Wait, master of… are you telling me you’re the devil? Bálor, are you the devil?” 

I started to laugh. I  _ should _ be terrified. He wasn’t just a bog standard demon, he was the Big Bad of the Bible himself! Instead, I was surprised and amused. My friend/guide/captor who infuriated me, but filled me with confidence and hope for myself, was the guy who ran Hell. 

“Oh my God, I actually told the Devil to go fuck himself!” 

Having got it out of my system, I went back to relaxing. “I still like you. Even if you can be kind of a dick.” 

*** 

**“Well that’s true, I** **_am_ ** **a dick,” I chuckled. “But...thank you. I like you too.” She really did have a way of making anyone feel special. Even the Devil himself (Well, his replacement).**

**I massaged her lower back, and threw in, “Even though you’re a feisty smart ass.”**

*** 

I smiled. “I’m usually not, honestly. And, if I’m not mistaken, you said that’s one of the things you like about me.”

I sighed. “I’ll be back soon to let you know how things are going. And to also talk me out of changing my mind, because that might happen.” 

*** 

**“And I’ll be here. Who else is gonna kick your ass when you need it?” A gentle finishing stroke to her back and shoulders, and she was pliant and relaxed. A good place to end it.**

**“Time to wake up now,” I whispered as I kissed her neck. “And remember…”**


	37. By Admission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of non-con/rape play in the context of BDSM.

I opened my eyes, now back in my bedroom, Finn lying next to me. The transition from dream to wakefulness had been so seamless and abrupt, it didn’t feel like I’d even been asleep at all. And, as with the other times I dreamed of being in that house, this one had felt scarily real. As if my mind had been transported elsewhere while my body slept. 

Climbing out of bed as quietly as possible so as not to wake Finn, I went to the bathroom. Once inside, I sat down against the bath and started to cry. 

I’d had dreams before which got to me, which I couldn’t shake from my mind after waking. However, with most of them, I would eventually shrug my shoulders because, at the end of the day, they were just dreams. Just the mind making up it’s own nonsensical movies, taking inspiration from waking life. They didn’t  _ mean _ anything. 

But this was different. This was a recurring dream and, generally speaking, those meant your mind was trying to tell you something important. 

Well, I’d gotten the message loud and clear. I felt as if my soul itself had grabbed a hold of me by the shoulders and shaken me, screaming, “ **_Enough is enough!_ ** _ You can’t go on like this! Just stop worrying and live your life the way you want to live it.  _ **_Be happy!_ ** ” 

I’d been having this same dream so frequently, how could I ignore it? It wasn’t my body’s way of tricking and tempting me, like I’d originally thought, like my sex dreams pretty much were. No... I knew, deep down, it was my subconscious saying all the things I didn’t want to admit or acknowledge. 

Problem was, I was so very scared. If I heeded its message, then I’d be committing myself to a huge change. I’d be choosing a new path in my life, one I wouldn’t be able to turn back from once I did. 

I covered my face with my hands.  _ What should I do? Ignore it? Or listen to it? _

*** 

_ I opened my eyes as the door to the bathroom closed. This dream had been particularly sensitive for her, and it would take time for the seeds planted to take effect. _

_ The dynamic seemed to work though. In her waking life, I’m a supportive and caring boyfriend that encourages her best self. In her dreams, I’m the cheeky bastard that punishes and straightens her out.  _

_ (Well...kind of. It’s complicated.) _

_ Taking the time to check my email, it was a relief to find there was nothing urgent to tend to. With everything now in place for the retreat, my hands were free. _

_ I decided to go downstairs to make breakfast and coffee. _

*** 

Once I had gotten my head straight - somewhat. I wasn’t crying anymore, though I still had no idea how to proceed following the dream - I threw on my silk top and headed downstairs. I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep now and I didn’t want to disturb Finn.

“Oh.” I paused as I entered the kitchen to find none other than Finn there, cooking. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” 

*** 

_ “No worries,” I replied, flipping the last thin pancake. I take out a few eggs and checked the bacon in the oven. “Just around time for me to wake up anyway. And you’re just in time - I’m testing out this recipe I found online. There’s coffee ready, too.” _

*** 

“What’s the recipe?” I asked, picking up the mug he’d left out for me. Taking a sip of it, I took out an extra sugar cube and dropped it in.

Peeking over at the clock, I saw that it was 9am. Not as early as I feared. 

*** 

_ “Pancake tacos,” I chuckled. “Pancakes with eggs and bacon, a drizzle of syrup. It looked like fun, so I said ‘what the hell’? I’ve even got fruit.”  _

_ I motioned to the bunch of bananas on the counter. The bacon was set on paper towels to drain the excess oil away, and I’d mixed and seasoned the eggs for a soft scramble.  _

*** 

“Wait, syrup on eggs and bacon. Oooh...” I made a sound of uncertainty. “I don’t know, Finn, some things shouldn’t be mixed and this sounds like one of them. Still, I’ll never knock it before trying it.”

***

_ “Did you sleep well?” I asked while assembling the pancake tacos on our plates. _

***

I was drinking some of my coffee when he asked me how I slept. “Yeah, alright.” I said simply, once I didn’t have a mouthful of liquid. 

However, unable to keep it in, I had to ask. “...I keep having this recurring dream. It pops up every now and the . You think that’s just my mind screwing with me or you reckon it’s happening for a reason?” 

*** 

_ I considered her question. “Usually if you have the same dream, it’s often a message from your subconscious. Either that, or the enchiladas from the night before didn’t agree with you,” I joked.  _

_ I brought the plates to the table with the bottle of syrup (for optional pouring). “What do you think the dream is trying to tell you?” _

*** 

So, it was as I thought. It wasn’t random, it was definitely my subconscious trying to reach me. 

Sitting down, I rested my chin on my hand, tapping my fork against the plate. 

“That’s easy. It couldn’t have been more clear if it tried. It’s telling me to live my life how  _ I _ want to live, not how others want. And to be happy. ..And, if I truly wanted to be happy, I needed to give up my faith and accept myself. All of myself...even the stuff I think are best kept hidden away.” 

“The first time I had the dream, I just shrugged it off. Dreams are dreams, you know? But I keep having it and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t ignore it anymore. Like...I feel as if my subconscious is holding an intervention against me. It’s crazy!” 

*** 

_ “Well...that’s how you know it’s pretty serious business,” I replied simply. “I mean, in many cultures, dreams were something meaningful. Not necessarily prophetic in nature or anything, but important to one’s personal journey. Sometimes it’s as simple as which job to take, others as complicated as who one chooses to love. But dreams are basically a playground for the subconscious. Even if it’s weird and random as hell, it’s still very much your inner self speaking.” I took a bite of my food, and added a bit of syrup. _

***

“...Yeah.” I merely said, lost in thought. I remembered the dream, how I’d faced the mirror and said all the sentiments I said in my life and how each and every one had literally been branded as a lie on my face. My soul's way of telling me how very wrong I was. 

This was not something I could bury my head in the sand over. I knew, if I did, I was going to have that dream again and again until I took what was said to heart. 

“...I have been struggling with my faith recently. ...Maybe...this is a sign?” 

Remembering that Finn had made breakfast and, if I didn’t start eating soon, it was going to get cold, I cut a slice. The bacon and eggs with the pancake was delicious. Still wary about the syrup, but I said I’d try and try I would. 

I poured a tiny bit of syrup on the side. A tester. 

“I...I think I’ll talk to Father Cody about it. He’ll be able to help me make sense of it. Decide what I should do.” I said. “Might have to wait a week or two, since he’s off sick.” 

*** 

_ “That's probably a good idea,” I agreed, taking another bite of the taco. “Hmmm... salty, sweet, and not too sticky. It works.” _

*** 

“Really? Okay, now I really have to try this.” Picking up a piece of pancake and bacon and egg, I dipped it into the syrup on the side. After staring at it for a few seconds, I took a bite… 

Saltiness from the bacon…sweetness from the syrup. Mix it in the eggs and… 

“Hmmm, I don’t know...” I laughed. “I kind of like it, but then...syrup on bacon! I’ve heard of sweet and sour, but sweet and salty? This is going to take some getting used to. Other than that, great cooking.” 

*** 

_ “Thanks! Experimenting occasionally is fun. It keeps things interesting, I find.” I took a drink of my coffee. _

*** 

For a minute, we just sat in silence, enjoying our breakfast.

I watched Finn, unable to stop remembering my dream. ‘Bálor’ - my demon friend who looked like Finn - had said that, if I were to tell him about my BDSM kink, the chances he’d reject me were nonexistent. That I should take the chance and tell him. 

I shook my head. There was no way I could tell him. Maybe one day, when I was sure, or feeling particularly confident in my chances, but not right now. 

Still, wanting to test the waters, as if I even had a chance to begin with, I said, “So, erm, the sequel to  _ 50 Shades of Grey _ is out. Apparently the movie is just as bad as the book. Ever read the series?” 

_ Nice, Teagan. _ I could hear my mind slow-clapping sarcastically.  _ Very subtle. _

*** 

_ I had a chuckle to myself internally before I responded. “Personally, I think it’s a crock of shit.” _

_ Finishing a swig of coffee, I explained further. “Okay, so a friend recommended the first book to me. Shits and giggles and all that, so I checked it out. The writing sucked, the plot was weak...but I could forgive those things. I would have, if not for the fact that they got nearly everything about BDSM wrong. That was just unforgivable. Who knows how many people got hurt because they got their ideas from that?” _

*** 

“I never read it, but Dawn did. I remember her and Laura and the others squealing over it one night and it just sounded  _ so bad _ . Like, the bathtub scene - there is a scene where they have sex in the bathtub, right? From what I heard, when they were reading it out loud, it isn’t even scientifically possible! And don’t get me started on the ‘inner goddess’ stuff.” I laughed, enjoying bitching about it to Finn. 

I froze as I recalled his last comments. “You… You know a lot about BDSM…?” 

*** 

_ “Well, it’s not something I brag about, but... it’s something I know pretty well. Mainly a behind-closed-doors kind of guy.”  _

_ I took another bite of food, finishing it, to let her process that bit of information. _

***

“Oh.” I said, staring at him, my fork and plate of food all but forgotten. I’d expected him to say he hadn’t ever read the book, or make a comment about how weird and out there it was, or crack a joke. Not…not  _ that. _

**_Holy shit._ ** That was pretty much all I could think then.

Then I remembered something he’d said and found myself intrigued. “Erm… You said it portrayed BDSM wrong. ...How do you mean?” 

It was embarrassing to admit considering it was my kink, but my knowledge on the subject was sparse. I didn’t know it was something one could get wrong, if there were even rules involved, etc. 

*** 

_ “Well...for starters, the guy tries to push her - who’s never had sex prior to meeting him, mind you - into a contract without actually taking the time to learn her likes, dislikes, or even potential limits. That’s a huge red flag,” I explained. “That’s not how any submissive should be introduced to it. And it sure as hell isn’t how a Dominant worth a damn conducts himself. It was totally irresponsible. There’s protocol to follow, parameters to set...the guy was an inconsiderate fuckhead, frankly.”  _

_ I set aside my plate. “To put it another way, if I were her, I’d have kicked Grey square in the balls and called the cops.” _

*** 

_ Wow…he sounds like he really knows his stuff on this… Does that mean he’s…? _

I shook these thoughts from my head. Just because he wasn’t shooting it down, it did not mean he was willing to explore it. “I see. That’s quite interesting. Horrible, but interesting. I had no idea there was such a thing as a protocol. I honestly thought the submissive agreed to serve the Dominant and, well, there you go.” 

I finished the last of my pancake. After some thought, I decided I liked it and wouldn’t mind if Finn cooked it again. “Unfortunately, she doesn’t do that, if the two books that followed are anything to go by.”

***

_ “That’s because he supposedly ‘changes’ his obsessive ways for her. Kinda ridiculous, honestly. Look, let me paint a scenario for you.”  _

_ I turned towards Teagan, and she followed suit. How do I approach this without freaking her out…? _

_ “Right, so let's say for a moment...well, no, I’ll say it. I am a Dominant - someone who prefers to be in control. Let’s also assume, in this scenario, that you’re submissive. More than that, you’re brand new to the scene. You following me so far?” _

*** 

“Erm, yes.” I nodded, unable to believe we were having this conversation. 

Inside, my thoughts were going out of control. 

_ Did… Did he just admit he’a a Dominant? I’m hearing things, right? There’s no way he’d say that.  _

_...No, Teagan. Don’t get your hopes up. Do NOT go getting any thoughts into your head.  _

_ Cross that bridge later. It’s too soon, you don’t know for sure, and you still need to sort out your faith. One problem at a time. _

*** 

_ I nodded, then continued on. “Okay, so I approach you, knowing you’re new to things. If I came out of the gate the way that moron did, you’d be well within your right to kick my ass. Fuck, I’d encourage it.”  _

_ She chuckled. I went on, “What should be happening is, if I’m interested in pursuing that with you, is to get to know you on a personal level first. See if there’s chemistry, if there’s a natural dynamic between us. If not, I made a new friend, no problem.  _

_ “But if there  _ **_is_ ** _ , and we decided to give it a try...then we talk about common kinks, turn-ons and turn-offs, limits. Things you’re willing to try versus things that are absolutely out of the question. My job as a Dominant is to listen to you, the submissive, and follow the parameters and limits we set together to make our time together everything you want it to be. We keep it safe, sane, consensual. I will never do anything you don’t want me to do. That’s how it works. Like...if I asked how you felt about blindfolds, what would you tell me?” _

*** 

The whole time Finn spoke, I listened, enraptured. I was right, he really did know what he was talking about. I honestly never would have guessed… 

“Er, well, I’d - I mean, you know, assuming I was a submissive. - probably say I was open to it. It really depends on what’s going on, you know? I wouldn’t want to be blindfolded near water or fire, for instance.” 

***

_ “Okay, so I’d take that into consideration. I’d remember that in case I wanted to try something like, sensation play with you. Blindfold you so you can’t tell what I’m about to use: a feather, silk, my fingertips, stuff like that.”  _

_ I laughed, still making sure I’m not freaking her out. “Right, maybe that was a bit far for you, I’m sorry. But you get the idea, I hope. Also, there would be safe words. Some people use traffic lights: green to go, yellow or orange to proceed with caution, and red to stop a session altogether if it’s too much to take. There’s quite a bit to consider, but it’s also very personal and is what two people make of it.” _

*** 

“I know that!” I said with childlike enthusiasm. I may not know much, but even I knew about the use of safe words and how important they were in BDSM. “And, you don’t have to apologize. It’s fine. I like hearing about all this.” 

Inside, I felt worried. If he considered bringing up sensation play a bit far, how would he react if I ever were to tell him about some of my turn-ons? How I liked rape play, being objectified, etc. Even if - IF - Finn had some interest, maybe even some experience (I was still finding it hard to believe), it was very likely I’d be considered too extreme, even for him. 

*** 

_ “Honestly, sensation play is tame by comparison. Child’s play,” I said, treading lightly. “If I told you what I was into as a Dominant, I’m pretty sure you’d be completely unnerved.” _

*** 

Clasping my hands together on my lap because they were fidgeting, I said, “Try me.” 

And then, because I wanted to reassure him - I knew I sure as hell would want the same if I was in his position. Hell, I might very well be at some point - “I promise I won’t freak out or anything.” 

*** 

_ I took a deep breath. “Okay, don’t judge me or anything because it’s really just play, but...I like degradation. You know, being ruthless, name-calling, slapping if she likes it. I also like bondage and discipline, mainly spanking. I did try - and I know this sounds bad, but there’s a lot to it, I promise - I tried rape play. Once or twice. And I kinda liked it.” _

***

“O-Oh. ...Okay… Right.” I nodded, wide-eyed. I suppose, to Finn, I was doing exactly what I’d promised I wouldn’t do: freaking out. And I was. 

But in a  _ good _ way. 

***

_ “I should explain that this is considered extreme play and must be discussed extensively with anyone you engage with because... it can deeply affect both people. I didn’t make a move without checking on my partner’s state of mind even while planning the scene. A lot of aftercare involved, too. It...it gets intense. Mind you, I have no desire to violate someone like that. Not even a little. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.” _

***

_ Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…  _ That was literally my mind right now. I think my brain had temporarily gone kaput due to sheer shock, because all I could do was stare at Finn like a deer in headlights. 

Knowing that I had to say something otherwise I might discourage him or make him feel I was judging him - I’d hate myself if that happened. I knew how horrible the feeling was - I said, “Well, that is kind of out there - I mean, you know, compared to the norm - but, so what? So long as it’s all consensual, I don’t see why anyone should judge you.” 

It had to be said, I was the worst kind of hypocrite. I’d reassure Finn, while refusing to listen to the same words about myself, even though his tastes mirrored my own. 

(Of course, my situation was totally different from his, so it didn’t really count.) 

“I mean…” I tested the waters again. “I’ve heard of far more extreme stuff. Hell, one of my turn-ons is kind of taboo.” 

*** 

_ “Well...thank you for being so understanding. But now I’m very curious. You have a taboo?”  _

_ She blushed furiously, so I put a hand on hers. “I won’t judge, I promise. I mean, you were so great about hearing mine. I’d be wrong not to support you. You can tell me, or not. Whatever you want.” _

*** 

He must have noticed by now that my knee was bobbing up and furiously. My nerves were all over the place. 

“We-well… Two, actually.” Forgot to add in my love of rape-play. “Oh wait, three.” I also liked men who were monsters. Vampires, demons, ghouls. Especially demons, for obvious reasons. And then I remembered how I also liked the idea of said monster man losing control and ravishing me, even devouring me, etc. Domination and submission taken to the ultimate extreme. Purely fantasy, of course. 

“...Four. Four.” I finished in a small voice. 

“I’m sorry, I… I just need a second.” I said, jumping from my seat and running out of there.

After  _ years _ of repression, self-loathing, and fearing I would lose all I hold dear should I tell anyone about my love for BDSM, to meet someone who also loved it, who didn’t shame me like my mother had… It was nothing short of a huge relief. How could I  _ not _ cry? 

Running into my bedroom, I sat on the unmade bed and let all of it out.

***

_ This had to have been cathartic for her. _

_ Again, no falsehood was told. I simply confessed a few of my kinks that we actually share in common. That’s not to say anything about the many others I’ve indulged in. _

_ Many of them occurred at blood orgies during my wilder days. I regret nothing. _

_ But Teagan needed to know she was not alone. And it was good that she opened up the conversation. She’s learning in small steps. It was inspiring. _

_ I ventured slowly upstairs to check on her after a few minutes. “Teagan... could I come in?” _

*** 

Wiping my eyes, I nodded before calling out, “Ye-Yeah”, because he couldn’t see me. 

I didn’t try to hide my tear-stained face as he entered. Once he knew why I was crying, he’d understand. 

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

*** 

_ “No, you’re fine. I was a bit worried for a moment that I might have scared you away. ‘Cause of everything I told you. But I’m having trouble processing something, and maybe you can help me out.”  _

_ I sat gingerly next to her. “Maybe I read you wrong, ‘cause you were pretty fascinated before, but then this wide-eyed look came across your face and you ran off. Now, three things came to mind. Either I frightened you off with my admission more than I realized. You’re not sure how to react yet, or…we have a lot more in common than you’re ready to admit right now. Am I wrong?” _

*** 

I shook my head. Blowing my nose slightly, I croaked out, “It's the third one.”

“I...I’m not sure I have it in me right now to talk about it, I’m still trying to process it all, but…y-you have  _ no idea  _ how much this has been tearing me apart inside. H-How  _ relieved  _ I am.” 

And then the tears started again. “I thought you'd hate me and leave me if you ever found out. My mother said that I was sick in the head and I believed her because everyone I told said the same thing!” 

*** 

_ I enfolded her in my arms, let her cry into my chest. “It's alright... you’re safe to let go. Now why would I ever hate you, or leave you for that? Even if I wasn’t into it, I would at least try it for you, because you’re not sick or wrong for any of this. The ones who told you it was? They were repressed and unhappy, and probably made everyone around them feel horrible about themselves unless they were the same.”  _

_ Easing up to pull away, I wiped tears from her face and gave her a couple tissues from her nightstand. “Look, I’m glad you told me. It’s a nice feeling to know that you’re not alone. Take all the time you need to process it. I’ll still be here.” _

*** 

Gratefully taking the tissues from Finn (I must look like such a mess right now), I dabbed at my eyes and wiped my wet cheeks. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming. Like, any minute now I’m going to wake up and find out none of this was real.” I mused. “I mean…not only do you not have a problem with it, you also like it, and the same things as me, too? What are the odds!?” 

*** 

_ I shrugged. “Not that common for me, either. You’d be surprised to know how tough it is to meet anyone with common kinks these days. So when it happens, it’s a pleasant surprise.” _

_ Entirely true. People and their stigmas, even in an open-minded alternative lifestyle...  _ **_exhausting_ ** _. _

*** 

He didn’t need to tell me. Up until this point, I thought I was the only one. I  _ knew  _ that wasn't true, of course, but it felt that way. Like I was a deviant, and everyone around me was normal.

So to know that Finn was like me - kind, understanding, good-hearted Finn - made all the difference. I didn’t feel so alone anymore, or like there was something wrong with me.

“I want to talk more about this with you, but I’m going to need some time.” I told Finn. “I just need to adjust, because all I want to do right now is cry.” 

***

_ “Like I said, take all you need,” I assured. “I’m not going anywhere.”  _

_ I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, resting my head against hers.  _

_ It was a long road ahead. _


	38. A Little Bit of Madness

After having a good cry, I was finally able to get a hold of myself in time for Finn leaving to go to work. I didn’t want him going off and spending the whole day worrying about me. 

“Have a nice day.” I said as I saw him off at the door, kissing him on the cheek. “And don’t let anyone rub it in your face that you’re not going on the retreat, okay?”

*** 

_ “Never. They’ll be too busy cursing my name for the surprise I planned for them because I’m not there,” I grinned, stealing a kiss from her lips. “Let me know if you need anything, ok? And enjoy your day!” _

*** 

I waved him goodbye, then shut the door and returned to the living room. 

I sat down and stared off into space, unsure quite what to do with myself. This morning had been nothing short of revelatory in so many ways, that to resume the normal routine of my day seemed wrong somehow. 

Eventually, I turned on the TV to watch the morning news as I worked on Finn’s suit. I couldn’t spend the rest of my day crying or in a daze. I still had a life to live. 

Half listening, half sewing and making amendments, I paused when I heard Samantha’s name mentioned. Still missing, now presumed dead. If anyone had any information on her, contact the police, etc. 

_...I wonder if she really skipped town...or if something happened to her? _

I had initially believed it was the former, but the more I thought about it, the less sure I was. Samantha didn’t strike me as the kind of girl who’d so willingly upheaval her life at the click of a finger. She didn’t have money or a sugar daddy at her disposal like Dawn did. Also, the clues left behind - the blood, the clothes near the forest - pointed more towards a kidnapping. And would Samantha really go so far as to injure herself? Unlikely. 

And then there was the mysterious phone call from her mobile number. It’d only happened once, but I hadn’t ever forgotten about it. 

So many things didn’t quite add up… 

I changed the channel, not wanting to think anymore about it. If I did, it would just get too creepy. It was better to just assume Samantha was living it up somewhere like Dawn was. I wonder if the two of them ever thought about poor Laura, still recovering and suffering in the hospital? Or Jessica, locked up and (if the gossip in the papers was anything to go by) having a hard time of it in prison?

*** 

_ “All I’m saying is that Natalya shouldn’t be interfering with my project,  _ **_period_ ** _! It was a mistake putting her on it with me - now she’s trying to knock me out of the lead role!”  _

_ Charlotte Flair crashed on my lounger in a huff. “Duplicitous bitch. ‘Ooooh, I’m legacy too! Did I mention my uncle is Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart? I’m better than you at everything!’ Ugh! Can’t we just toss her into the Pit forever?”  _

_ Charlotte, with her tenacity, strength, sharp mind, and biting wit, heads up our prosecution team. In Hell, she’s also in charge of our military at wartime. She’s a master tactician and as good at playing dirty as her father. Easily one of our best (if not too competitive and selfish for her own good sometimes). _

_ As for Natalya Neidhart, she’s the daughter of Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart and has wavered consistently between devoted to the cause and undercutting someone else’s because she’s a third-generation wrestler and should have anything she wants.  _

_ That’s not to say Charlotte’s totally innocent, however. After some time with Regal, you never saw a more avid fighter for what she wanted. She’d earned her place, and rightfully so. Needless to say, Natalya was less than impressed and decided to target Charlotte.  _

_ “I hear where you’re coming from, Charlotte. I probably could, but I’d never hear the end of it from the Hart family,” I admitted. _

_ “Look, I get it, Finn,” Charlotte replied, trying to keep her cool. “Everyone has to earn their way, and I respect that. Our family respect you for all the work you’ve done down here. But she’s undercutting me, which is expressly against the rules. You need to do something about this otherwise I WILL RIP HER FUCKING BLACK HEART OUT MYSELF and hand it to her if she says one more word about her cats!” _

_ I got up from my chair and sat next to her on the lounger. “Okay, Regal and I will handle this. You’re a valued member of the team. Shit, you’re practically family. We’ll do everything we can to fix this.” _

_ She pursed her lips and begrudgingly asked, “What do I do if she comes around?”  _

_ “She won’t find you. Take the day off. Work at home, if you like. We’ll handle Natalya. You trust me?”  _

_ Rolling her eyes, a smirk crept into her face. “Yeah, yeah...you haven't steered me wrong yet, Finn. I think I will take off, check on Dad.”  _

_ She stood to her feet and headed for the door. I called after her, “Send your dad my regards.”  _

_ “Of course.” With that, Charlotte closed the door behind her. _

_ I heaved a relieved breath and called Regal to relate the details and come up with a resolution plan.  _

_ Just another day at the office.  _

_ I love my job.  _

*** 

After a highly emotional morning, the majority of my day was spent indoors, working painstakingly on Finn’s suits. I thought it would take me another four to five weeks to get the whole thing down, but thanks to all the time I had on my hands, it would be far sooner. 

Once I was satisfied with the progress I’d made, I packed the suit away and put my shoes and coat on. My weekly support group wasn’t until tomorrow, Wednesday, but the group had decided to meet up and have coffee. While I was still incredibly wary of making new friends (Dawn had really done a number on me), I never passed up on an offer to socialize and get to know those in the group. 

We met up at Starbucks and spent an hour catching up and hearing how each other’s days were going. More and more of the group dispersed as time passed until there were just three of us: me, Michael, and Colleen. 

Deciding to take a chance, I invited the three of them back to my place. It’d be nice to introduce them to Finn. 

(Although, truthfully, I just wanted Finn to meet Michael. Not that I didn’t like Colleen, but...well, it was complicated. She was something of a drama queen. Anytime you spoke to her, there was a problem. She also had the knack of making one out of nothing. Which wasn’t necessarily bad, but could rub people the wrong way and was definitely wearing to be around at times. I was just worried she might get on Finn’s nerves. 

That being said, I did worry that maybe it was just me being super critical. Shutting them out for their flaws  _ was _ easier than taking a chance and possibly ending up with another Dawn in my life. And I had been keeping the members at arm’s length the whole two months since I met them...) 

*** 

_ Regal, because he’d handled the Harts in the past (especially Natalya), took the matter into his hands. “Not that you aren’t capable, my King, nor that they don’t respect you. I want your intervention in this matter to be more of a last resort than anything. You’ve got enough on your plate to handle.”  _

_ Which I completely understood, and I conceded to his request. Besides, on top of overseeing today’s field run, I offered to present one of Charlotte’s tactical courses while she took off for the day. It would be a productive day indeed.  _

_ I wondered how Teagan's day was going, so I shot her a quick text:  _

**_Hope you’re having a great day, lovely. :-)_ **

***

“And you know what he said to me?? He asked me to go  _ Dutch _ with him! Can you believe that? Needless to say, I ended the date right then and there.” 

Michael and I simply stared at Colleen with deadpan expressions. Then we shared a glance and waited to see who would respond first. I was hoping he would, but then, as if anticipating it, he drank from his glass of wine. 

_ Dick,  _ I thought before speaking. 

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Finn and I shared the bill on our dates.” I shrugged. “I think it’s only fair.” 

“Yeah, you need to chill. Way you’re going on, I thought the guy had done something worse, like, I don’t know, sprung on you that he had a kid he never mentioned. True story, by the way. I got the fuck out of there. I love kids, but they’re a big commitment and keep them a secret is a no-no in my books. You get me, right, Tea?” Michael asked me. He smiled when I nodded. 

Colleen didn’t look amused. “Wait, you’re telling me you honestly don’t have a problem with the guy expecting you to pay? No! The guy’s got to pay it all!”

As Michael made a comment, I heard my phone vibrate and looked down to see it was a text from Finn. I smiled when I read the message. He was so sweet!

I quickly sent one back.  _ Thank you! You too! ^^ _

_ I invited two of the members from my support group to the house. Hope you don’t mind. _

“Hey, Teagan.” I looked up from my phone as Colleen called to me. “Is it okay if I use your bathroom?” 

“Sure. Upstairs, literally the first door.” 

The second she was out of the room, Michael turned to me, uncharacteristically serious. “Tea, you know I’m good, right? Since the moment we met, have I ever made any bitchy comments or stirred shit up about the other group members? I’m asking you because, out of all the people in the group, I like you the most.” 

I blinked at Michael, quite touched that he thought that way. “...Really?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, of course. You’re the nicest, most humble person I’ve met, plus you get me. Me and you, we’ve been through the same shit, after all.” 

This was true. Michael, too, grew up with abusive religious zealot for parents. His sent him away to a conversion therapy camp when he came out at fifteen. When that didn’t work, they started outright bullying and controlling his life, almost driving him to suicide. If not for the fact that some friends he’d made in an online LGBT community group helped him out by letting him stay with them, he might still be under their toxic influence (or worse).

“I’m really touched you think that way about me.” I smiled. “And, it’s fine, Michael, I trust you. Why do you ask?” 

Glancing over his shoulder, he turned back to me. “I’ll cut it to you straight: I don’t like Colleen. She’s giving me bad vibes. And I’m not saying that because she’s a total drama queen. I’m saying it because...well, I got my suspicions she’s been lying the whole time to the group.” 

My eyes widened. “Michael, that’s… You can’t go making accusations like that.” 

“Look, just hear me out. She’s in our support group because she was abused by her ex-husband, right?” I nodded. “Well, I don’t know, things just aren’t adding up for me. She says her ex once choked her to the point she had bruises all around her neck. Then she changed it to him holding on for so long she passed out. Little things that she keeps changing the facts on. I mean, tell me you haven’t noticed that she cries everytime she talks about him in the therapy sessions, but  _ outside _ of it, she’s so cool you’d think she’s made of ice?” 

I bit my lip, considering his words. It couldn’t be denied that Colleen, despite the advice and help of others, kept repeatedly getting into relationships with unseemly men. But, some bad habits were hard to shake and lying about being in an abusive relationship? It was one of those scummy things you didn’t want to believe anyone would do.

Sensing I wasn’t entirely convinced, Michael said, “I hope I’m wrong, I really do, but that’s how it looks to me.” 

Before I could say anymore, Colleen returned then, ending the conversation. 

*** 

_ I smirked at the text she sent back. She’s got friends over? That’s a great step in the right direction. I sent back:  _

**_That’s cool - I’d love to meet them sometime!_ ** __

_ I put away my phone as the last trainee filed into class. “Afternoon, students. Charlotte Flair is out for the day and asked me to teach in her place. This course is focused on the art of misdirection. Distracting an enemy to gain the upper hand is a vital part of your field work. Let’s start with sleight of hand…” _

*** 

_ I hope so, too! I think you’ll like Michael, he’s really nice! _

Time passed by. The bottle of wine now near empty - courtesy of Colleen, I’d barely touched it and Michael had stuck to the one glass - the conversation had moved from her last failed relationship to my relationship with Finn. 

“You’ve been together with him for two months now, right? Is it getting pretty serious?” 

I smiled. “Yeah, I think so. I don’t know for sure, but touch wood.” My smile grew wider when Michael tapped the table, winking at me.

Colleen smirked. “Lucky you! Reckon they’ll be wedding bells soon?” 

I paused. “I don’t know. I don’t think so…” I’d only considered marriage once and that was when I was desperately trying to find a way for Finn and I to have sex without it being a sin. I’d quickly brushed it off for being the ridiculous farce it was. Since then, marriage hadn’t even entered my head.  

“Doesn’t that bother you? If it was serious, I’d want my man to propose to me.” 

“Not really.” I responded truthfully. “I mean, if he were to propose, I wouldn’t say no, but it won’t bother me if he doesn’t. It’s just a piece of paper at the end of the day.”

“No it isn’t! How can you say that?” Colleen looked at me as if I was crazy. “Every girl dreams of getting married! Plus, if he really was serious about this relationship, he wouldn’t even hesitate to put a ring on your finger. Then again, I can’t say I’m surprised. You won’t have sex with him, so he’s probably getting all his needs from some other woman.” 

Michael glanced at me with a ‘Oh shit’ expression, probably expecting me to freak out. And, in the past, I probably would have. Hell, even now it got to me a little, since I was very insecure about the fact that I couldn’t give Finn what other women could. But, I also knew that, if Finn wanted out of our relationship, he’d be decent enough to tell me to my face. 

“Finn wouldn’t do something like that. I trust him.” I simply said, hoping she’d end it there. 

She didn’t. “No offense, but a lot of women say that about their man until they come home to find them fucking in their bedroom. How can you know for sure? Have you gone through his phone while he isn’t looking? Or tried to set up a trap to test him? Because you should! Don’t tell me you honestly believe he’s stayed faithful to you?” 

I clenched my teeth, but it was Michael who spoke next. “Okay, one, you’re crossing the line, Colleen. Two, that’s fucked up. Total invasion of privacy and psycho girlfriend levels of paranoid. And three, like Teagan is going to take advice from someone who’s on their ninth failed relationship, soon to be tenth!” 

Everything Michael said, I agree with. Colleen on the other hand, was offended. “ _ What did you say to me? _ And of course you’ll take her side, you can’t even get married!” 

“Yeah, we can, Colleen. Try getting off Facebook and paying attention to the news once in a while. Also, bitch, I’ve been with my partner for five years and still going strong! Every relationship you’ve had falls apart in under a  _ month _ . Sort your own shit out before you start sticking your nose in other people’s business!” 

“Oh, fuck you! You have some nerve victim-shaming me!” 

“‘Victim-shaming’ you? You play the victim card every chance you get! Did you ever stop to think that maybe  _ you’re _ the problem? That you bring it on yourself?” 

I put my foot down then. Finn would be returning home soon, the last thing I wanted was for him to open the door to my two new friends having an argument. “ _ ENOUGH! _ ” The two thankfully shut up instantly. “Just… Both of you calm down! Now, I really need to get started on dinner. Shall we call it a night?” 

Michael let out a deep breath, then nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” 

After giving Michael a dirty look, Colleen nodded, too. “Fine by me.”  

I saw the two off at the door. Michael was the first to leave. “I’m sorry, Teagan. I didn’t mean to ruin things.” He started apologetically.

“It’s cool.” I reassured him. “Don’t worry about it. Have a nice night.”

Colleen lingered. “Thanks for inviting me over, Teagan. You have a lovely house here. How’d you even afford it?” 

“I didn’t. Finn bought it for me.” 

She whistled. “Definitely convince him to marry you. That way, if you ever get divorced, it’ll officially be yours!” She then snorted. “Relax, I’m just fucking with ya. See you tomorrow, babe!” 

The second I had the door closed, I let out a sigh of relief. 

I think Michael would be as far as I went for now in making new friends. One in two months seemed pathetic, but, given how bad my previous ones were, I’d say I had every right to be cautious. 

*** 

**_Nice! Just finished for the day - need me to pick up anything on the way home?_ ** __

_ I headed off to my car, breathing a sigh of relief at the close of another day at work. It was good to stay productive, but I’d be lying if I said Teagan wasn’t on my mind for a large part of the day. _

*** 

_ Nah, just head on home. See you soon! Xxx.  _

I put my phone down and rested my head back down against the porcelain tub, resuming relaxing in my bubble bath. I found it quite effective in when I was feeling stressed or harried, and after the disaster that was inviting my two new friends over, I’d definitely needed one. 

*** 

**_Alright, lovely - see you soon! xXx_ ** __

_ Aside from a quick call to Charlotte to let her know how it went with her course today, I was officially clocked out. I headed for Teagan’s, feeling buoyant about having someone to come home to at the end of a long day.  _

_ It just...felt right. _

*** 

By the time the sound of a key unlocking the door could be heard and Finn walked through the entranceway, I was feeling significantly better. Not completely one hundred percent, but I no longer felt like holing myself up in my room. 

I felt myself relax even more seeing Finn. His presence always made me feel safe and reassured. “Hey, welcome home! How was your day?” I hugged him. 

*** 

_ I squeezed her tight and breathed her in. All the tension of the day disappeared in an instant. _

_ “Busy, but I have no complaints.” I pulled back to kiss her sweetly on the lips. “How about your day?” _

*** 

“Pretty good. Got a lot of stuff I wanted to do done.” I grimaced. “The afternoon could have gone a lot better, but, whatever, it doesn’t matter now. You’re here and that more than makes up for it.” 

I led him into the kitchen. “I made spaghetti Bolognese for dinner tonight. That okay with you?” 

*** 

_ “Oh really now? I  _ **_knew_ ** _ I smelled something else heavenly,” I smiled. “Sounds amazing. I’ll get our plates and forks. Anything else I can do to help?” _

*** 

I shook my head. “No, no! Go sit down, put your feet up. I’ll dish up and bring it all over. What drink would you like? We’re out of wine, unfortunately. It wasn’t me, I swear.” 

Quickly checking on the garlic rolls cooking in the oven, I then went and drained the pasta, making sure to take a strand and check the quality of it.  _ Al dente. Awesome!  _

*** 

_ “No worries. I picked up red grape juice the other day, I’ll take that.” _

_ I stepped behind her and put my hands on her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower and get on comfortable clothes. Feels like my suit’s sticking to me, crazy as it’s been. I’ll be back in a few.” I kissed her neck and headed upstairs. _

*** 

“Okay, dinner will be ready when you come down!” I called after him. 

Leaving the Bolognese and garlic rolls on a slow heat, I put some pasta into our two bowls, added some butter on top (hey, sometimes you have to spoil yourself), and then got all the little things ready. Tissues, two glasses filled with red grape juice, grated parmesan… 

My eyes drifted to Finn’s bag and I remembered Colleen’s words about how I should spy on his stuff to know for sure he wasn't cheating on me. 

I scowled. Michael was right, that was fucked up. 

I wanted to like Colleen, I really did....but I don’t think I could handle another toxic friendship right now.

*** 

_ Feeling considerably better, I dried off and tossed on some loose flannels and a t-shirt. The smell of garlic and tomato permeated the air, and I couldn’t wait to sit down to dinner with Teagan.  _

_ I came downstairs and found that she’d gotten things ready. “I'm back! And feeling a lot less like I’ve been doing manual labor today,” I joked. _

*** 

“Heh. You weren’t so bad.” Finn made it sound as if he’d been sweating buckets, when that really wasn’t the case. I’d go so far as to say he looked just fine and could have skipped the shower, had he wished.

Finn now back downstairs, it was just a matter of scooping up the sauce and pouring it over the spaghetti. I did so, then handed his bowl to him, along with his glass. 

“I’ll bring the rest. Just get settled.” 

***

_ I sat down. “I know I sounded a bit over dramatic. I didn’t look nearly as bad as I made it sound but, in all fairness, there  _ **_was_ ** _ a lot of running around done today. In a couple of cases, quite literally,” I explained as she returned with her bowl, Parmesan cheese, and her drink. _

*** 

Everything set on the table, I kissed Finn quickly on the lips. “Don’t worry, you’re home now. Relax.” 

Pouring some Parmesan on top of my sauce, I heaved a sigh, “You know how I invited two people from my support group over here today? Michael’s fine, no problems with him, but the other one, Colleen? I’m getting Dawn vibes from her.  _ Really _ hoping that’s not the case.” 

*** 

_ “Oh?” That's certainly not a good sign. The last thing Teagan needed was another Dawn in her life. “So is she like a spoiled, entitled, bratty type?” I picked up the Parmesan and sprinkled a nice layer on top. _

*** 

“No… More like I get the feeling she’d be a toxic friend. She’s...well, she’s what’d you call a drama queen, she’s always getting worked up over something. She also keeps getting into bad relationships. Unlike everyone else, she’s not making much progress. She keeps making the same mistakes and then complaining when things go wrong. It’s really frustrating.” 

I twisted some pasta around my fork and took a bite. “She also said some things that were out of order. The only reason I’m forgiving her is because I think she thinks she’s honestly in the right. I don’t think she meant to come across the way she did.” 

*** 

_ The pasta tasted amazing, and I told her as much before saying, “I see. That can be frustrating. It’s especially ridiculous if things aren’t going well for her, yet she’s giving other people advice on their relationships. But... I can see something that she said must have really gotten under your skin. What is it, if I could ask?” _

*** 

“To sum up all the things she said,” I commented wryly, pausing to take a drink of the grape juice. “We’ve been together two months now, why aren’t we thinking about getting married already? She wondered how I can be cool with the fact that you haven’t proposed. It’s definitely a sign you’re not serious. You’re probably cheating and who can blame you because I won’t sleep with you. And I should go through your phone or test you. Seriously!”

All the while I continued to eat the bolognese and pasta. The herbs really did make it a treat. 

I then put my hand on his hand. “You probably know this already, but I trust you. Completely. There’s  _ nothing _ she could say that would make me doubt or think less of you.” 

I laughed. “She’s got it all wrong, though. There are better, easier ways to test your relationship. Like playing Monopoly together. That game tears people apart.” 

*** 

_ I interlaced my fingers with hers. “I know, lovely. And not a day goes by that I’m not grateful to have earned your trust. You’ve got mine too, completely. Although…” I considered for a moment.  _

_ “Monopoly is a true test of any bond. But then, so is Twister.” I joked. _

*** 

I laughed. “Twister? Maybe, but Monopoly is still top of the line. You have money involved there and they do say money problems are the best way to see how strong a relationship is. At least you can have fun with Twister, Monopoly is just pure greed put onto a game board. Seriously, you start to see people’s true colours once the houses and hotels come out.”

Pausing to chew some of my garlic bread, I mused, “I think I’ll give Colleen one more chance. She’s... _ difficult _ , but then, a lot of people could say the exact same thing about me and you’ve stuck by me.” I turned to Finn. “I just feel I’d be a massive hypocrite if I didn’t. I have problems just like her, what makes me any different or better? ...What do you think?” 

*** 

_ “You’re technically not a hypocrite for being wary of her, considering what you’ve been through. I just want you to be careful with this one. But I’m also pleased to see you taking chances and making friends,” I pointed out. “And I've never considered you difficult. It’s been easy to care about you because under all your pain, you’re amazing.” _

***

“Don’t worry, I’m definitely going to keep her at arm’s length. And if she behaves the way she did today, I’m going to call her out on it. And if she doesn’t like it? Tough.” I said confidently. 

A smile came over my face at his last comment. “Debatable...but thank you.” 

***

_ “Also, I agree about Monopoly - even the nicest people discover that they’re money-grubbing tycoons. Suddenly I feel like playing it.” A mock-devious smile came to my face. _

*** 

“Yeeeah, let’s not ruin a nice night. Last thing we need is me bankrupting you because I’ve ruthlessly bought up all the good streets and put up, like, three houses or two hotels. Or me winding up in jail without a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card. Because that’s what would happen! No, we need a nice wholesome game...like Risk!” 

I broke down laughing soon. Talking to Finn about this had made me feel a lot better. 

*** 

_ “Risk? Oh, now you’re just asking to get your ass kicked.” I laughed aloud with her. “I  _ **_rule_ ** _ at that game. World domination’s my thing. Though I will say... you’d make a gorgeous tyrant.” _

*** 

“I’m hurt that you immediately assume I’d be a dictator and not a benevolent, just ruler.” I snickered. “You’re also giving me way too much credit. Knowing me, I’d either go mad with power, then be assassinated. ...Or I’d fail abysmally at the conquering stage.”

“No, I’ve got to focus on my strengths.” I picked up my glass and swirled it around like I was some evil mastermind. “I’m not a leader like you, Finn. I’m a follower who just so happens to lead by example. So! In order to win a game like Risk, I’d form an alliance with someone stronger and aid them in conquering everyone else. Once they were in power, I’d be set. They do all the work and I reap the benefits. Genius, right?” 

*** 

_ “Oh, you’re clearly a far more devious mastermind than I realized. You’d be a worthy opponent. They say you should never fear someone who’s the strongest, but the one who appears the worst or the weakest, because they’re the most unpredictable. I’ve no doubt you’d have the world in the palm of your hand before I’ve even had breakfast.” _

***

I gave a quick bow. “Thank you, you’re too kind. But, don’t worry, we’re cool. I’d have your back. You see, I’d be waiting for the right moment to start a revolution and get the current guy out, so I can put you in charge.” I tapped my head. “Eye on the prize, eye on the prize.” 

***

_ “Also, going mad with power is fun! Ever try going mad without power? Boring as hell, and no one listens,” I cracked. _

*** 

“Hah! Well, yeah, of course. Otherwise you’re just some crazy person.” I took a bite of my garlic bread. “Damn, now I really want to play Risk. Ooh! We should play it when we invite your friends round? We can team up and destroy their armies and claim their territories for our own. Then, once they’re out of the way, we can wage war on each other to see who’ll come out the ultimate victor and rule the world!” 

I giggled. “You’d probably win and I’d surrender and be spared as a spoils of war, or a trophy of your glorious victory. ...I’ve given this way too much thought.” 

*** 

_ “Ah, but I love it though! It’s an awesome idea. Take out our mutual enemies, then have an epic face-off. Of course if you win, I’d gladly defer to your greatness and pledge myself to your service.” I winked _ . 

***

“Eeeeh, that’d be no fun.” I confessed. “The idea of having power seems great, but I think I’d get bored or overwhelmed very quickly. No thank you. I’d be much happier just serving the one in charge and being their right-hand girl. You know, the one they could trust not to stab them in the back.” 

*** 

_ “Aaaand this is probably why I’d take the throne right from underneath you once I’ve earned your trust and lulled you into a false sense of security,” I poked. “You wouldn’t be a mere trophy though - too much potential. I’d keep you close to my side though, as a right-hand for sure.” _

*** 

“I wouldn’t make you regret it.” 

Done eating, I put my fork and spoon down and sat back, resting my head on Finn’s shoulder. “So, now that I’m done complaining about Colleen, and discussing war strategies with you, how was your day? You said it was really hectic. Want to vent about it?” 

*** 

_ I touched my head to hers where it rested. “Well...what started as a quiet day turned into getting yelled at by Charlotte Flair, one of the best defense lawyers in the firm. To be clear, it’s not for anything I did. She was venting because a coworker who’s well known for being underhanded chose her as a target. So, while Regal started the process of mediation between them, I was asked to step in to teach one of her courses while Charlotte took the rest of the day to cool off and not put that person through a wall headfirst. Fun times.” _

_ “Then, I was out in the field checking in on our new trainees and scouting for new talent. Turns out one of them was an actual sprinter for the local university. Luckily, I’m pretty quick on my feet. Finally, I taught Charlotte’s course. That, I will say, was actually a lot of fun. The students were responsive and engaged, the curriculum was easy enough to pick up, and I shared some advice from my own experience. Aside from all that, I just couldn't wait to see you.” _

*** 

I clicked my tongue. Compared to Finn’s day, mine sounded minor in comparison. “Charlotte Flair… Is she Ric Flair’s daughter or wife?” I still had yet to see the second owner of Finn’s business firm. I was starting to suspect he was there in name only.” 

“Well, at least you had fun with the students. One silver lining, right?” 

*** 

_ “Charlotte is Ric’s daughter. He's retired and living well on the coast of some distant island - pretty sure it’s Bali - and she’s busy earning her way up. She’s trying to make partner on her own merits, not because of her famous name, and we all respect that. Well, most of us apparently,” I shrugged. _

***

“I hope that gets resolved soon. Problems in the workplace are never good, and it’s not fair for you to be on the receiving end of it.”

***

_ “I hope so, too.” I took her hand in mine. “Though I count you as another silver lining. So I'm pretty lucky.” _

***

I curled my fingers around his. “Ditto.”

“Anything you want to do now? I can give you one of my massages if you want? Relieve some of the stress?” 

*** 

_ “That sounds amazing. I imagine you could use one as well, with the day you’ve had. That’s an idea: we’ll give each other massages. I don't believe I’ve ever given you one of my famous rub-downs,” I pondered, wiggling my fingers. _

***

“Please. All I had to deal with was a woman with seriously outdated opinions and who drank a bit too much alcohol. I’ve had worse.” 

That was true. As Finn had no doubt seen for himself, when Dawn and her friends got drunk, things got rowdy.

 “Still, that does sound pretty nice. Okay, t-shirt off.” I stretched my fingers. 

*** __

_ “Oooh, bossing me around,” I teased as I removed my shirt. “Keep this up and I’ll walk around with shirts on just to have you do it again.” _

***

“Stop!” I slapped him playfully on his shoulder. “I’m totally not bossing you around!”

Once Finn was all set, I began to squeeze the flesh on the base of his neck before running my hands up and down his back to warm the area. From there, I began to apply deep, circular pressures all around his neck and back, making sure not to apply too much. 

*** 

_ I relaxed at her touch. It was always a sensation I didn’t know that I needed until she began. She handled herself like a professional, and I could feel her care with every squeeze and knead of her fingers. _

_ “As usual, this is amazing,” I rumbled contentedly. _

***

I smiled, satisfied. “Good! I can tell you really need it, your muscles are really tense.”

After massaging the area, I began to lightly pummel his back with my hands, working my way down, and then up again. 

“I wish we had a pool.” I said as a random thought just popped into my head. “I don’t know about you, but the idea of having a midnight swim sounds so romantic. Especially if it was up on a roof and we had an amazing view to look out on. Pity the gardens too small for one...” 

And I froze as yet another thought came into my head. “Oh my God… I just realized something. Finn, in the whole two months I’ve known you, I’ve never asked when your birthday is!” 

***

_ I smiled. It’s true - we hadn’t even broached the subject. “When’s yours? Mine is July 25th,1981. And it’s funny you should mention a pool. The apartment complex I live in has this amazing rooftop garden with a decently sized pool. I haven’t gone up too often, but it's beautiful on a clear night. Maybe I can take you there?” _

***

“15th of September, 1991.” I smiled.

Finn was ten years older than me, which, apparently, was something that raised a few eyebrows in some. Now, I’d heard there was a ‘Never date anyone under half your age plus seven’ rule when it came to dating. I did the math in my head (35 divided by 2 = 17.5 + 7 = 24.5), and we checked out. (Personally, though, I couldn’t care less.)

My smile widened as Finn told me about the pool on the rooftop of his apartment. And it had a garden, too! “Yeah, I’d love that! We can have a midnight swim, sit and gaze out at the scenery....”

Feeling his muscles loosen up, I stopped kneading and massaging. “You’re all good here.”

*** 

_ “Awesome. Let me know when and I’ll make it happen.” _

_ I turned to her and kissed her lips. “Thank you, lovely. Now it’s my turn. Where do you need my hands most?” _

***

I blushed.  _ Okay, you totally worded it that way on purpose. _

“I don’t know. I’ve never had a massage before in my life. Where do you recommend since your rubdowns are oh so famous?” I joked. 

*** 

_ “Well, in your case, since you had to deal with a headache-inducing personality... I’ll focus on your head, neck, and shoulders. Sound good?” _

*** 

“Sounds good.” I turned away, so my back was facing him. “So, where’d you learn to give neck and shoulder rubs? I bet your past girlfriends really loved you.” 

Picking up the remote, I turned the TV on, leaving it on The Simpsons. Everybody loved The Simpsons, plus it was a _Treehouse of Horror_ episode, which were always fun to watch. At first glance I saw that they were doing a parody of The Shining.  

*** 

_ “I learned a bit from a physical therapist I knew back in Ireland, and years later I tried out a class on erotic massage. I was dating the teacher at the time. But I really just took an interest in the mechanics of it and how it all works.” _

_ (What I did not mention, however, was that the erotic massage teacher was also very skilled in the art of tantra. He was fun - shame he also happened to be a manipulative cheater, the bastard. He wasn’t missed.) _

_ I massaged her scalp with my fingertips, working to the back of her head and focusing on the smaller muscles there. “So, occasionally, I would sit in on massage courses, picked up on Swedish massage, a little reflexology, deep tissue, lymph massage. Whatever could come in handy.” _

*** 

“Mmmm…” That was all I managed to say because, damn, Finn really was good at this. He put my massaging skills to shame, though that was only to be expected. I’d learnt mine just from watching videos, he’d actually gone to classes and picked up on some pretty extensive stuff. 

“What’s… What’s the difference between a normal massage and a Swedish massage?” I managed to ask, quite curious. 

***

_ I used my thumbs to work my way down her neck, slowly stripping the muscles on either side. “Surprisingly, much of what we know as normal massage comes from Swedish technique. It’s just simple relaxation work. It calms the nerves, encourages blood flow to push out toxins from the muscles, and can be used to energize or soothe to sleep.” _

*** 

“Sooo good.” I told him, and it was all I could do not to slump back against him. “I’ll definitely be sleeping well tonight.”

*** 

_ I chuckled. Her shoulders were pretty tense, so I gave them a little extra attention.  _

_ “If you fall asleep before I finish, I won't hold it against you,” I whispered in her ear, leaving a kiss just below it before I returned to my work. _

***

“Okay. I mean, if I do, take it as a sign that you’re doing a bang up job.” I murmured, eyes closed.

Predictably, if not embarrassingly, I did end up falling asleep. With was just typical, but, in my defense, Finn’s massage was amazing, and the repetitive, soothing motions would have lulled anyone to sleep. 

And, knowing Finn, I’m sure he’d find it pretty amusing. 

*** 

_ She passed out. It was, quite honestly, cute. I smiled and kissed her forehead. _

_ I turned off the TV then, carefully, scooped her up from the couch and carried her upstairs to bed.  _

_ Knowing that jeans weren’t exactly easy to sleep in, I took them off before settling her under the covers. I kept my shirt off, opting to go without, and settled in next to her.  _

_ And if I imagined the prospect of nights like this for an extended period of time...well, it wasn’t anyone’s business but my own.  _

_ I wondered what her dreams held in store for her tonight… _


	39. Past Hurts Made Present

**_“Time for you to wake up now, Teagan.”_ **

I opened my eyes to see the sun shining through the gap in the curtains and hear the birds outside, singing their songs.

Staring at the ceiling, I heaved a sigh.  _ Hello, almost-sex dream, my old friend…  _

I suppose I shouldn’t be too upset. Most times, nothing happened, me waking up before things got really steamy. At least this time I got an unfinished blow-job out of it. ( _...Was that really what it felt like to give one? It hadn’t been too bad… _ ) 

Checking the time - 8AM - I pulled the covers off and stepped out of bed. If I was correct, Finn should be downstairs, getting ready before leaving for work. 

*** 

_ I’d dressed for work, and decided to brew and make breakfast sandwiches: ham, egg, and cheese on warm English muffins. Teagan would be downstairs soon.  _

_ When I finally heard the padding of her feet, the sandwiches were completely assembled and ready. I set them aside and prepared our mugs for coffee.  _

_ “Morning, lovely! Sleep well?” _

*** 

“Morning!” I replied cheerfully, giving Finn a quick peck on the cheek. “Yep! Really sorry I fell asleep on you last night. Your massage was amazing, though.” 

Looking at the sandwiches appreciatively, I said offhandedly, “I had a dream about you last night. You show up in a lot of my dreams, you know.” 

I felt we were close enough that I could talk about this without fear of embarrassment. 

*** 

_ “Really now?” I smiled, handing her a sandwich and a cup of coffee while we went to our usual spot for breakfast. “And no worries about falling asleep - at this point, I figure if you haven’t, I’m not relaxing you properly.”   _

_ “So, jokes aside, could I ask what these dreams of yours involve?” _

***

“You really don’t want to know. I swear, it’s like they were concocted from one of those plot generators online, they’re so weird and elaborate.” I took a bite of the sandwich before continuing, “The ones you show up in, you’re normally trying to tempt me into sleeping with you. I try and resist, but I always end up giving into your charms...and also because you’re in a position of power. Last night’s one you were a prison guard and I was a prisoner. No lie.” 

Taking another bite, I continued, “Know what always happens in my dreams, right as it’s about to go from PG to Rated R?” 

*** 

_ I finished my bite and drink from my mug before responding. “You wake up just when it gets good?” _

*** 

I punched him on the arm (playfully, of course). “Yes! You, _Officer_ _Bálor_ , are the biggest tease in my dreams. You push and push and then, suddenly, ‘Wake up, Teagan.’ Cut that shit out, I’m frustrated enough as it is!” 

It wasn’t Finn’s fault, I knew that. It was really my brain’s for dreaming up the scenarios and then waking me up at the worst possible moment.

“This is a lovely breakfast, by the way.” I complimented. I’d never thought to use English muffin sandwiches before, but I would be in the future. They weren’t too doughy and they had a lovely taste to them. 

*** 

_ “Thanks! Consider it an apology for being such a dick in your dreams,” I ribbed.  _

_ “You know what’s funny, though? I really  _ **_am_ ** _ a horrible tease so, depending on what went down, there’s a pretty good chance I’d do the same things,” I said before laughing. _

*** 

I blushed a little as I remembered parts of the dream, how he’d pleasured me to the barest minimum, kept me wanting more. 

However, I was quick to compose myself and turn it in my favour...somewhat. “So, if you were a prison guard, you’d sneak into an inmate’s room to get up to some funny business? Or, if you were a teacher, you’d give your student detention and then punish them for no reason? Riiiight. I’vr got you pegged, Finn.” I joked back. 

*** 

_ “You caught me!” I chuckled back. “Absolutely nailed me. But to be fair... it’s  _ **_your_ ** _ subconscious. You sure you don’t  _ **_want_ ** _ me to do those things?” I shot back with a mischievous wink. _

*** 

I paused midway through taking a drink of my coffee.  _ Shit, he got me there.  _

Swallowing with an audible gulp, a few seconds of silence passed as I thought up a suitable response. “I’m not going to pretend to understand my subconscious. One thing I do know is that it hates me, but likes you, so there you go. ...I will say, you did look really good in that prison guard uniform.” 

“How about you? What do your dreams tend to be like?” I asked, curious. 

*** 

_ “Truth be told, and you’ll probably think I’m weird, but I don’t have a lot of dreams,” I said honestly. “Might be the weird sleep schedule I keep. But the times that I do, they’re of places and people I care about. Family, friends...you, especially. Mainly of seeing you happy. Carefree. They’re pretty nice dreams.”  _

_ Then, just to lighten the moment, “Also, there’s this one where I’m being put on trial by a bunch of sheep. Not sure what that’s about.” _

*** 

“That’s incredibly sweet. Better that than nightmares.” I responded, remembering the flip-side of my almost-sex dreams, the flashbacks where I relieved particularly traumatising moments from my life. “Except for the one involving the sheep. What were they even putting you on trial for?” 

*** __

_ “Apparently one of the charges was going on the lam from a charge of stealing wool. I said something about it being ‘shear-ly ridiculous’ and they got highly pissed. That’s what I get for listening to dumb sheep puns from Enzo before calling it a night,” I shook my head, smirking. _

***

I might have choked a little on my coffee for a second. That sheep pun was all kinds of awful yet hilarious. “Oh my God! Seriously?” I laughed, holding onto the edge of the table for support. 

Once I had managed to stop, I joked, “Selfish bastards. They literally have a never ending supply of wool.” 

A giggle escaped me. “Since we’re discussing dreams, once, when I was a kid, I dreamt up an animated musical about two penguins that were trying to swindle the rest out of money. It was amazing, practically feature-length - it felt like it, I mean - and could have seriously worked as a Disney movie. I even dreamed a part where one of them gives a rousing song to all the other penguins to get them to forgive him. And, I kid you not, the whole thing rhymed.” 

I sighed. “It was one of those dreams you wake up from and wish you could remember perfectly because it’s just too good to forget.” 

*** 

_ “Oh my God, that’s adorable! Like I would actually go see that! You’d be with me and it would be a fun date,” I beamed. “I love those kind of dreams.” _

_ “Those dreams really are the best.” She agreed with me.  _

_ I checked the time. “I’ve gotta take off - otherwise, I’d happily stay with you and talk about other weird dreams. Or make out, whatever came first.” _

*** 

I deflated somewhat when Finn announced it was time for him to go. “Ah, alright. We can continue talking about weird dreams later.” I stuck my tongue. “And make out, too. Definitely make out.” 

Walking with him to the door, I kissed him on the lips and waved him good. “Have a nice day! Hope the dispute gets all sorted out!” 

*** 

_ “You and me both, lovely,” I replied. “Let me know later on what you’d like for dinner - I’ll pick up a few things and cook tonight. Enjoy your day!” _

_ With that, I headed towards work. _

***

After that, I cleaned the dishes, watched the morning news, and then got ready to attend Wednesday’s weekly support group. 

I was slightly apprehensive after the mini-fight that took place between Michael and Colleen. Would the two have cooled down by now and be civil to one another? Or would there still be comments to be made? I hoped not. I didn’t want to be dragged into the middle of any disputes. 

Much to my relief, it turned out to be the former. Or, I should say, rather than continuing to be hostile, the two had opted just to stay out of each other’s way. 

In my hands, I held my notebook of points I liked about myself. I remembered how, when I first joined, I couldn’t even write five things. Over the course of the last two months, that had changed and I now had two pages worth. They were of little, inconsequential things, but the group leader said they still counted and showed a great amount of progress on my part. 

The activity of today’s session was demonstrating how effective music can be for one’s mood, but also showcasing the talent of some of the group members. 

Everyone was sitting and listening as one played their violin, another played at the piano, etc. Some were even dancing or singing along. At one point, Michael got out his kazoo and started joining in, a move which had pretty much all of us in stitches. 

Having no singing or dancing talent to speak of, and not knowing how to play any musical instruments, I just sat and tapped the desk with my palm to the beat of the music, enjoying it. 

Once the group session had ended and I was walking out of the building, I heard Colleen’s voice call out, “Hey, Teagan!”, and turned to see her heading in my direction. 

I hoped this conversation would go better than yesterdays… 

*** 

_ Well...this was going swimmingly.  _

_ I sat in to observe the Flair/Neidhart mediation. Quite honestly, I’m amazed at Regal's resolve. Had it been anyone else, things would have been truly bloody by now.  _

_ “Charlotte’s been trying to get rid of me from the start! Little Miss Perfect thinks she’s better because her daddy’s name is on this firm.” Natalya accused. “She can’t stand the thought that I might be a better leader or lawyer - shit, just plain better - than she is. That’s why she’s so threatened by me! Admit it, bitch!” _

_ “Natalya, enough!” Regal admonished sharply. “You know how this works: either stick to the point or don’t speak at all. Fortunately this process doesn’t require much speaking so let’s move on.” _

_ Personally, I’ve found Natalya to be tolerable... in small doses. _

_ Once they’d had their say, the mediation could officially begin. The process involves searching the soul for motive and purpose. Regal reaches into both parties and consults me with his comparisons before officially coming to a decision.  _

_ Leaving Charlotte and Natalya to gripe and snark at one another while recovering from the painful process, Regal approached.  _

_ “Charlotte isn’t wrong. Far as I can tell, she’s done nothing to antagonize Natalya. Natalya’s simply feeling overlooked, passed up by better candidates for opportunities she feels she should’ve had first crack at because she’s a legacy kid,” Regal concluded.  _

_ “Ugh...we’ve been through this,” I grumbled. “I told her to continue taking the ongoing courses to keep improving so she be considered for promotion. As stubborn as her father.”  _

_ “Very true, my boy,” he agreed with a smirk.  _

_ I sighed. “Right, here’s the plan then. Charlotte is in the clear, so let her go on with her day. Natalya, meanwhile, is on temporary suspension until she completes her courses. When she returns to work and proves she can be a team player, then and only then will she be considered for promotion. If she takes issue, send her to me.”  _

_ Regal nodded and returned to the two women to complete mediation.  _

_ Needless to say, Natalya was clearly not amused, but neither would she dare defy or question her King’s authority. _

*** 

“Listen, I just wanted to say I feel really bad about yesterday.”

Colleen and I sat on a bench outside the town hall where the support group was held weekly. I thought she only wanted a quick word, but, when I realised she wanted a proper talk, I’d brought us here so we’d be free from noise or interruption. 

“Things have been so rough for me since I left Walter, and I keep trying to find Mr. Right and they keep turning out to be a bunch of losers. And then I see you, all loved-up, and I just didn’t want you to go ruining it, you know? I was only trying to help.” 

“It’s fine, I understand.” I said simply. She’d apologized and that was enough for me. 

Colleen smiled. “Thanks, babe, you’re a star.” 

Then, hesitating, she said, “I hate to admit this, but I haven’t got many friends here. Most of my old ones either took Walter’s side or just don’t stay in touch anymore. Bunch of pricks, am I right? Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to be friends? You seem like a really nice person and I could use someone like you in my life right now.” 

“Oh, su-sure, I guess.” I said, a little touched she’d come to me when she had a full classrooms worth to choose from. 

Colleen smiled. “Awesome! In that case, gimme your phone number I’ll add you into my contacts!” Before I could respond, she’d snatched my mobile out of my hands to input my details in. “I’ll also add you on Facebook and Twitter. Think of all the fun we’ll have. The nights out, the selfies, the-” 

“Erm, I don’t have Facebook or Twitter…”

She froze and gawked at me. “What? But everyone is on social media! You  _ must _ get one, we can follow each other and like each other’s posts. It’ll be fun, you’ll see.” 

She handed my phone back. “Ooh, I’ve just had a great idea! How about we have a double date? You bring Finn, and I’ll bring my boyfriend, Tariq? We’ll go out to Nando's and spend the night drinking cocktails and getting to know each other better. What do you say?”

My knee-jerk reaction was to reluctantly accept. Because I was too nice to decline and wanted to avoid any awkwardness that would result, but also because I could relate to what she was going through. I knew what it was like to feel lonely, to want friends. 

However...my gut was telling me that’d be a bad idea. If Tariq was anything like the men she usually dated, he was not someone I wanted to get to know. Finn certainly wouldn’t get along with him. But, it wasn’t just that...

Looking down, I gave my reply. “......N-No. I’m sorry. It’s very nice of you to offer, but I can’t right now.”

Colleen gaped at me at first, not having expected this. “What? What do you mean you can’t? Oh wait, is this because of Finn’s job? That’s fine, babe. Just let me know when he’s free and we can have it on one of those nights.”

“No, no. I mean... _ I _ can’t. I’d like to be friends, too, but...if it’s okay with you, can we take things slowly?” 

Then, wanting her to understand, “I...I had a really bad falling out with my best friend not too long ago. We lived together and she was the only friend I had and like a sister to me… and our friendship turned out to be a lie.” Even now, it stung. “And even if it wasn’t, even if she did see me as a friend, then she evidently I cared more about her than she did me. She said and did really hurtful, nasty things to me and...it’s still raw. It’s still hard for me to trust someone after the way she treated me, you know?” 

I thought Colleen might understand. The others in the support group certainly had once I explained the full story to them. 

She did not. “I’m not your friend. So why are you comparing me to her? You don’t know me, Teagan. You know, I think it’s really unfair that you’d refuse to even give me a chance because of one bad experience. You’ve really hurt my feelings, you know that? I just told you how I could really use somebody right now and I thought that could be you, since you know what it’s like to not have any friends, and you shut me out. What the hell!?” 

Instantly, my discomfort turned to mortification. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come across that way at all! I’m not saying never, Colleen. We can be friends, we can still hang out, I’m just asking you to be patient and slow it down.” 

She held up her finger to me, already on her feet. “Don’t bother. Forget it, Teagan. You don’t want to be friends with me and offer support, like you’re supposed to, then I won’t either. And the others in the group will be hearing about this!” 

“Colleen, stop! You’re getting the wrong idea! Please!” 

Too late, she was stomping away. As for me, I could only watch, feeling incredibly guilty and dreading how the others would respond. 

*** 

_ I headed back to my apartment for a quick shower. Still feeling a bit heady from soul consumption, but it would pass quickly since I’d learned to adjust over time. _

_ Long story short, targeting your supervisor because you failed your field runs is never a good idea. _

_ After I dried off, an idea came to mind. After checking the weather forecast, I shot Teagan a text:  _

**_What would you say to dinner at my place? Followed by a midnight swim. Clear night tonight… ;)_ **

*** 

Just as I was texting Finn, I received a message from him. As I read it, my face literally lit up, my worries momentarily cast from my mind. 

_ Oh my God, yes! I’d love that! :D See you soon! _

Knowing that the midnight swim would be tonight, I headed over to the local shopping centre to buy myself a swimsuit. Despite suggesting the idea, I actually didn’t have any swimwear. 

*** 

_ Because it had been unseasonably warm this week, the pool was open. After making arrangements with the property owner for private use for the night, I found my swim trunks and made a run for supplies: particularly sangria, fruit, chocolate, chicken breast, and a whole pineapple.  _

_ I hoped Teagan liked teriyaki chicken. _

*** 

After buying my swimsuit, I dropped Finn a text.

_ Your place is closer to the law firm then mine. Want me to head straight to yours instead of you coming to get me? _

Since we’d be up late, we could always sleep at his tonight, I figured. 

***

**_That's fine - I'll see you soon! xXx_ ** __

_ I’d just finished cutting the core out of both pineapple halves when I saw her text. As soon as I responded, I cut up a bit of the fruit to add to the chicken cooking low and slow on the stove. _

*** 

With our plans for tonight all set, I went back home just to pack a few essentials - pyjamas, toothbrush, etc - and then headed off to meet Finn. 

As his apartment was quite nearby, I skipped taking a bus and opted to walk there instead (plus, I didn’t own a car or have a driver’s license like Finn. It did make me feel slightly better to hear that he only just recently acquired one.) 

Coming to a stop in front of his door, I knocked.

***

_ Her timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Everything was ready.  _

_ I opened the door and greeted her with a kiss on the lips. “You’re right on time, lovely. Come have a seat and relax, I’ll bring you a drink.” _

*** 

Putting my bag down, I sat at the table he had conveniently placed by the kitchen area. The apartment was filled the pleasant scent of cooking food. 

“Smells really nice. What are you making?” I asked, trying to peek over his shoulder. 

*** 

_ “Teriyaki chicken and jasmine rice,” I replied, as I poured a glass of chilled sangria, allowing pieces of strawberry and Mandarin oranges to slip in as well.  _

_ “Here you go.” I passed her a glass while I prepared mine. Then, I took the pineapple ‘bowls’ I’d made and scooped a nice amount of chicken on one side, rice on the other. I went to grab forks and napkins and brought them back to the table. _

***

“Teriyaki chicken, right? I haven’t had this for ages!”

Taking a sip of the glass of red liquid Finn had handed to me - sweet and fruity. Not too strong - I admired the dinner he’d prepared. It looked and smelled gorgeous already, but the bowls made of pineapple? That really finished the whole thing off.

“Every time you cook something, I think it wouldn’t be out of place in a restaurant.” I complimented him. 

*** 

_ “I hope it’s to your liking. It’s something I saw online and I’ve always wanted to try it out,” I explained. “I figured, since we’re heading up to the roof later tonight, this would set the mood a little better.” _

*** 

“It does.” I smiled. “I’m really excited about this! You reckon it’ll be just the two of us or other people might show up? I know it’ll be late at night, but, you never know.” 

Taking a forkful of rice and then some chicken, I tasted it.  _ So good!  _

***

_ “I spoke with the property owner already. We’ve got it all to ourselves.” I took bites of chicken and rice. Turned out better than I realized.  _

_ “So, how was your day?” _

*** 

_ Yes! No one intruding on our alone time! Perfect! _

“It was okay.” I replied, though it must have been obvious to Finn that something had happened to dampen my spirits. “I went to my support group and it was really nice and chilled out. All about Music Therapy. Some of the other members played music instruments. Kind of made me wish I’d learned to play the piano.” 

My smile lessened slightly. “And then I had a talk with Colleen afterwards. She wanted to apologize for the things she said yesterday and a chance to get to know me better. Which was nice of her, but then she started trying to set up a double date. I said no, give me some time, and then she got upset. And now I feel terrible.” 

***

_ I finished a bite of food, processing what she said and feeling my ire raise a little at Colleen. “That’s unfair of her to do. It honestly sounds like she’s laying a guilt trip on you, just because you wouldn’t let her past your personal boundaries.” _

***

“Or, maybe, I’m antisocial and selfish. Maybe I unintentionally did to her what the kids in my hometown did to me when their parents made them shut me out. Maybe I should have said yes.” I said, moving my food around with my fork, no longer smiling.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter. I can’t fix it because she doesn’t want anything to do with me now. And, by tomorrow, she’ll have told everyone in the support group, so I’ll be lucky if they do either.” 

***

_ “I don’t think that’ll happen, and if a lie can so easily unravel them, then they’re not the kind of friends you want. She herself sounds like a piece of work, and you did the right thing asserting yourself. You needed time and that request should have been met with understanding. I’m just saying.” _

***

“Yeah…” I mumbled, not entirely convinced. 

Taking a drink of the sangria - I’d have to be careful. Didn’t want to be drunk while swimming - I confessed, “Is it wrong that, despite everything, there’s still a small part of me that misses Dawn? I know she was a bad friend, but it wasn’t bad all the time. She was predictable, and I knew what to say and do to keep things nice and drama-free. Plus, unlike Colleen, she was stable and quite smart in some ways...” 

An unwilling grin came over my face when Finn gave me an incredulous look. “I’m serious! Okay, she wasn’t  _ smart _ smart, but she knew how to get what she wanted. I’m proof of that.”

“When you met Mr. and Mrs. Austin, Finn, did they tell you how Dawn and I met?”  

*** 

_ “They didn’t go into a lot of details, really,” I replied. “I guess they figured it was your story to tell. They did talk about how surprisingly different you were from her other friends, how sweet you were, how selfless. They had no problem helping you because you were in genuine need of help and deserved every chance. By the way, the Austins send their love. They said they would love to see you soon for dinner and see how you’re doing.”  _

_ Entirely true. They checked in with me earlier this evening to see how things were going.  _

*** 

“Oh, really? I’d love to see them, too!” I was sad that I hadn’t seen them when they were in town, but knowing I’d have the chance again soon made me very happy.

“As for how we met, well, this is the official story: I’d just arrived in town. I bought myself something to eat because I’d gone three days without food. While I was walking down the street, minding my own business, Dawn, completely pissed off her head, walks right into me and my food literally goes down the drain. She feels bad, invites me back to her house, then, come the morning, once she finds out I’m homeless, says she’ll ask her parents if I can stay, at least until I’m back on my feet. She’ll handle the rent, so long as I pay my own way as best as I can. Her parents were nice enough to say yes, and the rest is history, as they say.” 

Mr. and Mrs. Austin couldn’t believe their eyes. Dawn - their flighty, freeloading brat of a daughter - actually helping another human being out of the goodness of her heart? And not just anyone, but a homeless person? Maybe there was still hope yet for their only child, they must have thought. Maybe they were being too hard on her.

 They had no idea. 

“That’s not the real version, of course.” 

***

_ I cocked an eyebrow at that last statement as I finished another bite of the meal. “There’s a  _ **_real_ ** _ version? You mean, that’s not entirely how it went down?” _

***

I shook my head. “Nope. Now, just the day before, Mr. and Mrs. Austin had sat Dawn down and held an intervention. They weren’t willing to fund her lifestyle anymore. She had to get a job and act like a responsible adult like everyone else, or they were done. And, to show they were serious, they were selling the house. They’d give her enough to buy her own place and get by, of course, but the rest was up to her.” 

I took a bite of pineapple and chicken. “So, she’s actually going have to make a living like the rest of us. That is, until she meets me. Who she almost gets into a fight with, by the way. She conveniently left that out to her parents. If not for the fact  _ I _ apologized to  _ her _ , she probably would have beaten me up. Anyway! She meets me and, come the morning, once she’s sobered up, she has a brilliant idea. Rather than send the homeless girl packing, she’ll play the good Samaritan and offer me a place to stay. Not only does it get her parents off her back, but she gets to keep the house. Problem solved, and no one is none the wiser.”

“Well...that’s not true. I knew. Not the full details, but I knew she wasn’t helping me because she was a kind, selfless person. I just didn’t care. I mean, I wasn’t homeless anymore. If letting her put me down and treat me like a maid was what kept her happy and me off the streets, so be it. Plus, I felt like I deserved to be treated that way, and I owed her. When she found me, I’d completely run out of money and had no shelter. If she hadn’t taken me in, I don’t know if I’d even still be alive…”

I had no way of knowing if that was true, of course, but I do remember that night being bitterly cold. And, when Mr. and Mrs. Austin had taken me to see a doctor shortly after, the man had expressed surprise I’d lasted as long as I did. 

Dawn was many things, but it couldn’t be denied, she saved me that night. 

*** 

_ I listened quietly and processed everything Teagan said. If anything, it made me hate Dawn even more.  _

_ Begrudgingly, I admitted that she had a good point. “I won’t deny it. I’m glad she saved your life. And I’m glad you’re here to share that with me. I just hate that it was born from such a self-serving, deceitful motive. You deserved so much better. I’m glad that her parents were so kind to you. They’re good people.”  _

_ I hadn’t realized that I’d finished off my sangria. “I’m going for another glass - would you like more, or are you good? I can bring you water if you prefer.” _

*** 

“Errrrm…” I looked down at my glass. I was only halfway full. “I’m good. And some water would be nice, thanks!” 

“And you’re right, they are. It’s a real shame they ended up with Dawn as a daughter. Apparently, it’s all her grandparent’s fault. Spoiled her rotten and undermined everything Mr. and Mrs Austin did. They’d hoped she might have had a wake up call and gotten her act together once they passed away, but then Jessica came into her life.” 

The second Jessica appeared on the scene, Dawn entered a world of drugs and booze, partying her life and money away. She also became more selfish, spoiled, and self-entitled than ever before.

My face darkened as I said her name, though my dislike for her was nothing compared to the Austin’s. I recall Mrs. Austin once spitting out, “That girl is a cancer!”

*** 

_ Death would have been a mercy for Jessica. I didn’t regret letting her rot in jail, for a far worse punishment awaited her later. Word is that she’s had three failed suicide attempts so far.  _

_ “I agree,” I replied. “There’s not a chance in the world I’ll forgive her for what she did to you. Or any other lives she’s ruined.” I exhaled a sharp breath. “Wow, things got pretty dark for a moment, didn’t it?” _

*** 

I glared into my glass of sangria as memories of Jessica played over in my head. 

There was a Simpsons episode where Marge is invited into a country club and desperately tries to fit in. The group of women welcome her, save for this one bitchy woman who spends the whole episode, in her own words, trying to “destroy her.” 

Jessica was that woman. Since the day I met her, there was never a nice comment, only a snide one, intended to hurt. “Urgh, if I wanted to see someone as anorexic as you, I’d put on the TV and watch one of those African charity adverts”, she’d said the first time we met. (“Don’t mind her, Teagan, that’s just the way she is,”, Dawn had laughed). Of course, once I started putting weight back on, she changed her tune. “Getting a bit fat, don’t you think?” I wasn’t, she just said that because she got a kick out of it, pure and simple.

Thank God she was out of my life. 

I gave an apologetic smile. “Yeah, it did. Sorry about that.” 

Finishing off my sangria, I pushed the glass aside. “Okay, no more doom and gloom! How was your day? Did the trouble in the workplace get sorted out?” 

***

_ “No worries, I understand.” I handed her a water bottle and kissed her forehead, then collected the empty pineapple bowls. _

_ “As far as work drama, I’m happy to say an agreement was reached. Natalya’s felt like she’s due for a better position, hence why she’s been undermining Charlotte and trying to take her place. However, she’s skipped many of the continuing education courses we offer to anyone seeking promotion within the firm. So, in order for her to earn her way, she’s - begrudgingly - agreed to take the courses that she had passed up before. But Regal added a caveat: if she skips or fails even one, she loses her job. This way it can never be said she wasn’t given a fair shake, and she’ll stop sabotaging her co-workers.” _

*** 

“That’s great to hear!” I was happy for Finn. It would have sucked if this had remained ongoing. “Smart move on Regal’s part. You reckon she’ll stop now or she’ll pull another stunt like this in the future? People who are that entitled are rarely ever satisfied unless they get things handed to them on a plate,” I mused. “Plus, it’s just not the mature thing to do, is it? If she really thought she deserved better, she should have said it to your faces. You can’t trust someone who’ll say or do stuff behind your back.” 

*** 

_ “She’s not foolish enough to pull the same stunt again after this. Regal will see to it,” I assured. “Charlotte went through that phase too, at first, but she learned her lesson much faster and mediation wasn’t even necessary.”  _

_ I checked on my dessert in the fridge. After some deliberation, I’d settled for a spin on a romantic classic: cheesecake filled strawberries. The filling wouldn’t set for another hour, but we’d get to it.  _

_ “What do you say we take a walk in the garden? You’ll get a really nice look at it before we come back to swim.” _

*** 

I couldn't have gotten out if my seat fast enough. “Yes! I’d love to see what it looks like!”

Pushing the chair back into the table, I made my way to Finn’s side and held his arm against me. “Dinner was lovely. You’re a very talented cook.”

*** 

_ Chuckling, I led Teagan to the rooftop garden. It was newly placed, as the property owner was all about going green. In fact, nearly everything in the building was solar-powered, thanks to the ingenious placement of panels. The garden itself was an indulgence with all the money he saved. Well, that, and the funds from a lawsuit I helped him win.  _

_ It was like leading her to an oasis. Various lilies, delphinium, tea roses, and dahlias thrived up here, with strategically placed young palm trees (potted ones) for shade during the day. There were deck loungers and patio chairs and tables. But the real crown jewel was its modest-sized pool. About five feet deep at most, it was well maintained and even had a heating system for cooler nights.  _

_ I beamed at her wide-eyed expression. “Surprised?” _

*** 

I wasn’t sure what I had expected. Something modest and simple, I supposed. Mostly grey concrete, with the occasional greenery thrown in there. A small flower bed at most, only one or two types of flowers, nothing more, nothing less. That was how I pictured a roof garden. 

Much to my intense surprise and pleasure, I was wrong. 

This was my idea of heaven. 

Taking a step forward - it even had  _ grass _ \- I admired the beautiful sight before me. The multicolored flowers blended together wonderfully against the green hues, the garden looking all the more idyllic thanks to the butterflies and bees swarming around them. Whoever owned the building had spared no expense and it showed. 

“It’s  _ beautiful. _ ” I whispered in awe. 

I turned to Finn. “How do you not spend all your time up here? If I lived here, I don’t think I’d ever leave! I’d just be like, “Keep your apartment, just set up a bedroom up here and I’m all set.” 

*** 

_ I laughed. “Awesome, right? It’s nice to come up here to clear my head sometimes. In fact, whenever I go off the grid, phone off and all that, I’m usually here.”  _

_ We meandered around for a while, just enjoying the cool of the evening and the flowers. “I honestly love it. I’d hoped to bring you here, make it something special.” _

*** 

“You really have. This is just so amazing. I could honestly stand here and admire this place forever.” This was no exaggeration. Though maintaining a garden of this caliber was something I was not capable of, owning one was always one of my favorite daydreams.

People who won the lottery normally say they’d buy a bigger house or more cars. For me, it’d be a garden and someone to tend to it while I sat back and admired it (shameless, I know). 

Seeing this roof garden brought something to mind. “I don’t know if you know, but there’s this park in town, just on the edge. Well, I say it’s a park, but it’s more like four huge fields packed together. Lot of meadows and streams there. In the summer, the flowers start to bloom and it’s just the prettiest thing ever. I’d love to show you sometime. We could have a picnic there and, unlike the other park, we won’t have to worry about some asshole harassing us.” 

It was annoying how our first meeting was Finn having to save me from a cat-caller from hell, though I couldn’t deny that it did make for a great story. 

And then I remembered something. “Oh, wait...I can’t. That cult hangs around there. ..Damn.” 

Granted, the park was huge and I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Bray Wyatt the last two months. And, chances were if I did take Finn there, we wouldn’t have a run-in with him. However, I felt that if I did, just my luck he would show up, as if me thinking it was safe jinxed things somehow. 

*** 

_ “I know the area pretty well - I know a few secret places that would be perfect for picnics,” I replied with a nudge. “Easy to avoid cult members, if they’re around.”  _

*** 

That cheered me right up again. “Really? Great! We should go there before summer ends, on one of your days off, maybe.” 

***

_ I looked out towards the skyline. “This is why I chose this apartment. You can’t beat the view from here." _

***

I folded my arms against the building ledge, admiring the landscape before us. “Definitely. I can see why people buy those luxurious condos and apartments with the skyline view. Must be amazing to go to sleep and wake up to that sight every night and morning…” 

*** 

_ “Watching sunsets and sunrises from here aren’t bad either. I’ll tell you what’s really cool. Looking up at the sky at night, no lights on, and seeing almost every star above. And then there’s watching meteor showers. Now  _ **_those_ ** _ are impressive. If you look close enough, you can see the different colors of their tails as they shoot across. I could show you so much, Teagan. It’s... pretty amazing.”  _

_ I was genuinely excited to share this kind of moment with someone. Few demons appreciate the craft-work of the heavens. The featherheads were bastards, but I couldn’t deny their creativity.  _

_ I looked into Teagan’s curious, dancing eyes. “Admittedly, I’m just glad to share this with another beautiful sight.” _

*** 

Finn’s excitement only made mine grow. I was also pretty shocked, just because I never thought stargazing, let alone witnessing a meteor shower was possible. And I told Finn as much. “Can we really see all that? I’ve always wanted to, but I thought the air pollution here prevented it.” 

I looked up at the sky above. Currently, it was a deep blue, verging on black. Only a few dots littered it. “If we can, then it’ll seriously go down as one of the best moments of my life. You have  _ no idea _ how happy it’ll make me, especially being able to watch it with you.” 

*** 

_ “It’s not so much the air pollution as it is the light sometimes. They’ve been changing the air regulations lately to make it a lot better. Besides, I’ve been pretty lucky to catch even a few gorgeous nights like that. I’d love to spend the next one with you. It would be an honor.”  _

_ I looked up as more stars began to appear. “If we’re very lucky, we just might have a night like that tonight while we swim. Soon as the shower hits its peak, that’s when you see it all.” _

*** 

I crossed my fingers. “Here’s hoping. I guess we’ll know by midnight when we’re out having our swim.” 

I really hoped it’d be one of those nights. It’d really be the perfect ending to a wonderfully romantic night for us. Plus, as mentioned, it was something I’d wanted to do forever, so finally been able to say I did it would be immensely satisfying.

We continued to stand and admire the scenery, the cool breeze blowing against us. Normally, at this time of night, I’d never be wearing a t-shirt, but the weather really was warm tonight. 

***

_ I stole glances at Teagan as she took in her surroundings. The way her eyes lit up, her smile radiated, her soul glimmered… _

_ If I’d still been human, I knew I would have already fallen in love. _

_ Even now, I knew I already had.  _

_ Bálor, whether he’ll admit it or not, was pleased with her as well. All he knew of anything resembling love was **possession, take, mine, mine.** But even he was calmed by her presence.  _

_ Before I could stop it, I said softly, “I feel peaceful when I’m with you. You know that?” _

_ I wasn’t ashamed of it. _

***

Lost in the moment, Finn’s voice brought me back to reality. 

“Huh? You do?” I felt a warmth in my chest hearing that. “Same. I always feel really at ease around you. Like nothing can go wrong and no one can touch us.” 

It was a pretty ironic sentiment given our past experiences. E.g Dawn and co, Paige... 

So I amended it a little. “And even if they do, I know things are going to turn out okay because I have you. You know, I really admire how you handle things. Me, I just fall apart, but you just handle it and get things done.”

***

_ “I don't know about that,” I meekly replied. “And even so, it doesn’t change how I feel. Maybe we just balance each other out, in a way. Like, I can come to you when I need perspective, and me? I just make your days less boring,” I joked.  _

***

“Maybe there doesn’t have to be a reason? Maybe we just mesh, like, I don’t know, two puzzle pieces.” I then snorted. “Or is that too deep or pretentious? I don’t care, I’m sticking by it.” 

“Ever felt this way for anyone else?” 

I wasn’t fishing for a “No, only you” kind of answer. Finn had dated more people compared to my measly one before him, after all. With little to no experience, I just wanted to know if this was a common thing. 

***

_ “Not really. There was one time I thought I did...it was high school, you know? Where you’re completely sure of everything and no one can say otherwise? Well, she didn't feel the same, as evidenced by her seeing our school’s head footballer before she thought to end things.” Teagan winced. _

_ “With you though, it’s different. Because it’s a certainty, it’s something I can’t shake even if I wanted to. That feeling of...being home, if that makes sense?” _

***

“It does. I’m pretty sure people would tell me that I don’t know what love is, since you’re my first real relationship - my ex doesn’t count - and everything feels new and amazing. But I respectfully disagree with them.” 

I wrapped my hand around his. “They can say what they like, but this feels like love to me. If it isn’t, then what the hell is?” 

***

_ “I can’t argue with that,” I said after a beat, grinning. “Your reasoning is totally sound. Let the rest of them talk - they absolutely can say what they like, and be wrong. But no one can tell me - or you - that this isn’t genuine. And I like what we have.” _

***

I smiled in agreement. “Yup. As the saying goes, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’” 


	40. Night Swimming

I turned to Finn. “So, what now? We still have about two hours until we go swimming. I don’t mind, I’m open to anything.” 

*** 

_ “Well…” I pretended to ponder heavily for a moment. “I do have a light dessert prepared. And we can watch a movie in the meantime. How’s that?” _

*** 

“You do? Okay,  _ this _ I have to see.” 

I started to steer Finn away from the garden. We’d be back soon enough, so I didn’t feel too bad. “What film did you have in mind?” 

*** 

_ I walked us back to the apartment before replying. “I found Lego Batman, just for shits and giggles. Aaaand….for dessert, I tossed together a few cheesecake-stuffed strawberries. You okay with that?” _

*** 

“Of course! To both! I’m really interested to see if Lego Batman is as good as The Lego Movie. As for the berries…” I tittered. “I love how nonchalant you are. There are some - myself included - who’d find making those challenging, and then there’s you all, “ _ Oh me? I tossed it together _ ”.” 

*** 

_ “I seriously did!” I huffed in mock offense. “I literally threw a block of cream cheese together with sugar and vanilla, made it smooth, hollowed out some really nice strawberries, filled them up and tossed some graham cracker crumbs on, and there it is.” I brought out a small plate of six large stuffed berries. _

_ “Here they are.” I smiled, proud of my work. _

*** 

“It’s the hollowing out bit. If I had attempted it, the kitchen would have ended up a mess of strawberry pieces because I kept accidentally tearing them to pieces.” 

My eyes widened when Finn brandished them for me to see. “Wow, they look so professional. And those are some big strawberries. I didn’t even know they came in that size!”

Picking up one, I took a bite. The soft cream, the natural sweets of the strawberry, mixed in with the crunchy topping was divine. 

Still chewing and savouring it, I gave Finn a thumbs up to let him know I liked it.

*** 

_ I took a berry for myself and sank my teeth into it. “Yup, definitely glad I went this route,” I said after finishing the sweet bite.  _

_ I put the movie on and sat down next to Teagan. “Movie time!” _

*** 

Cross my legs up, I nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! Bring it on!” 

As it turned out, The Lego Batman Movie wasn’t half bad. Nowhere near as good as The Lego Movie - of course - but still pretty damn funny and entertaining.  

I was definitely enjoying myself. 

*** 

_ Time flew pretty quickly while we picked apart the film, appreciating the classic callbacks to Batman’s long legacy. By the time it was over, she looked pretty relaxed, but not tired, which was perfect.  _

_ “Ready to go swimming?” _

*** 

“I’ve been ready all day.” I announced dramatically. 

Jumping to my feet, I grabbed my duffle bag of basic items and headed towards the bathroom. “Just going to put my swimming costume on. Be right back!” 

I quickly threw off my dress and underwear and put on the long-sleeved, baby-pink one piece I’d bought (I wasn’t so bold as to wear a bikini). It fit snugly and the color seemed to compliment me quite well. 

Carrying a towel under my arm, I opened the door and returned to Finn. “Right, ready!”

***

_ “I love that suit on you,” I complimented. The soft pink was very nice against her skin. “Give me a sec to throw on my trunks, and we’ll head up.”  _

_ I disappeared into my bedroom to change. _

*** 

As I waited for Finn to get ready, I fished around in my bag and took out a can of Red Bull. Since I’d be staying up later than usual, I knew there was a possibility I might get sleepy. Not wanting to potentially end up drowning in the pool - it’d be such a mood killer - I’d brought backup. 

Opening the can, I glugged a bit of it down. I could feel myself becoming more awake already. 

*** 

_ Grabbing my towel, I went out to meet Teagan in simple black and red trunks. “Ready to go!” _

*** 

I offered him my Red Bull. “Want some? It won’t give you wings, unfortunately. Pretty sure that counts as false advertising.” 

All the while, I stood back and drank in the sight that was a shirtless Finn Bálor. The six-pack of abs, the chiselled chest, the flawless skin… How much hard work and determination had it taken him to get such a body? Regardless, the man had the body of a god and I would never get tired of admiring him. 

“You are obnoxiously photogenic, you know that?” 

*** 

_ “If you’re trying to make me blush, Teagan Dunn...oh fuck, it’s working,” I laughed, feeling the heat rise to my face.  _

***

I let out a surprised squeal when he blushed. That hadn’t been my intention, but I was glad nonetheless. “Hey, I never pass up an opportunity. I’ve only ever succeeded three - correction,  _ four  _ \- times, while you’re into the thirties!” I think it was thirty eight so far.

***

_ Payback. “In all honesty though, I could look at you all night and never get weary of the sight.” _

***

Aw, crap. He just had to go and make the next comment. Before I knew it, before I could stop it (like I could have), I was blushing. Now, Finn had thirty nine on me. 

“You son of a bitch! You did that on purpose!”

*** 

_ I stole a lingering, teasing kiss before she could say anything else.  _

_ “Still meant it though,” I whispered against her lips before taking off upstairs, triumphant. _

*** 

Still blushing (did it count as forty now? I was going to pretend it didn’t), I chased after him. 

Once we were back in the garden, I paused to gaze up at the sky above. Getting darker and more stars were starting to show themselves. I hoped this was a good omen. 

Walking to the edge of the pool, I dipped my toe in. The swimming pools I’d gone to in the past were so cold getting into. This one didn't seem so bad though. So long as I eased myself in, I'd be fine.  

*** 

_ I found the light dimmer switches and turned the rooftop lights low enough to draw more attention to the night sky. The dark face of the new moon played into it perfectly. The swimming pool lights came down just a little. Safety first and all.  _

_ Joining Teagan at the pool, I slip easily into the water. It’s comfortably balanced. Not too hot, not too cool. “Come in, Teagan. The water’s amazing.” _

*** 

Hearing that, I stopped hesitating and slid right in. As Finn said, the water was lovely. 

Swimming over to where he was, I paused to take in the scene. The dimmed lights, the view below us, and the night sky above us...this was  _ exactly _ how I pictured it. 

*** 

_ “Amazing, isn't it?” I said softly, not wanting to disturb the moment. It was pretty beautiful up here. The sky filled with stars and constellations, and being in the pool with an amazing woman, whose soul would eventually put the stars to shame. _

_ Definitely a good night. _

*** 

For a while, I basked in the moment (it'd be criminal to do anything else), feeling so very happy that Finn had set things up that no one else would be intruding on us. It just wouldn't have been as special with another couple here. 

Swimming over to Finn, I threw my arms around him from behind and buried my face in the crook of his neck. 

“Thank you so much for this. I’m never going to forget this night.” 

*** __

_ I kissed her forearm. “Anything to make you happy, Teagan.” _

_ I turned to face her, keeping her arms around me, and I placed my hands just above her waist to keep her afloat. “It’s hard to imagine this getting any better.”  _

_ You know that feeling where you know you’ve spoken too soon?  _

_ So lost were we in the moment, in each other, that I didn’t see the sudden appearance of grey clouds overhead.  _

_ Sometimes - no,  _ **_most_ ** _ times - angels can be a bunch of dicks. _

*** 

I tore my gaze from Finn’s as the first droplet hit my forehead. 

“...It’s raining.” I stated the obvious, staring dumbly at the sky. “...I thought it was going to be clear skies tonight? I don’t remember the weather forecast mentioning rain at all…” 

Having said that, the weather was an unpredictable beast that could change at the drop of a hat. Sometimes the weather reporter got it wrong, tonight being a great example. A pity, but not the end of the end. 

“Oh well.” I shrugged, pulling my hair band out so my hair fell down. “Since this is going to get wet anyway, don’t really need it.” 

I looked up at the sky again. “You think we’ll still be able to see the meteor showers?” 

***

_ I had to chuckle at that. Of course she likes the rain. Guess the feathery bastards didn’t spoil the night after all. “Weird... probably just a stray remnant from somewhere else. It’ll pass. You’re okay with it raining while in a pool?”  _

_ I looked back up at the sky, mentally giving ol’ Trips and Steph an infinite middle finger.  _

_ “Fortunately, there wasn’t one tonight, not for another week. In fact, I was thinking of checking out the shower at its peak, if you’d like to do that with me?” _

*** 

“Sure! Rain never bothered me. It’s annoying if you’re stuck outside, but listening to it while staying indoors? Cycling in it? Amazing! And besides,” I motioned around us. “We’re already wet.  _ Who cares? _ ” 

Suddenly, the rain picked up. What had started as a light shower turned into an outright torrent out of nowhere. 

Squinting, I announced, “ _ This changes nothing! _ ” 

***

_ This time, I laughed fully. “Nothing at all!” I chimed in.  _

_ We swam and played in the water like children defying their parents, as it fell from above and supported us below.  _

_ At one point, I held her close while in the corner of a pool, leaning my forehead against hers as the rain slowly began to lighten up. It was as good a time as any for our lips to meet. She tasted like the rain, strawberries, and a sweeter essence that was very much Teagan. _

*** 

With one hand on Finn’s shoulder, and the other trailing through his brown hair, I met his kiss. I tasted the pineapple from earlier, the tint of sangria that lingered. And, underneath it all, Finn himself. I couldn’t put my finger on it, or describe it - soft, unyielding, intoxicating - but it was him and I liked it very much. 

I jumped as thunder - loud and intrusive - sounded out. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, the weather had taken a turn for the worse so quickly. Thunder was the next logical step. 

“Oh well.” I said again, smiling. “I like thunder.”

 ***

_ “Has anyone ever told you that you’re delightfully insane?” I asked, mirroring her smile. “And I love that about you.”  _

_ I kissed her again. It was one of my new favorite things. _

*** 

“Liking thunder is insane? How dare you!” I joked back. I suppose anyone would think me insane. What started out as the perfect romantic setting now looked grey and cloudy with rain and thunder added in. It looked dire, is what it looked. 

Not that it bothered me. We were already wet and as for the thunder? Just background noise. Plus, if there was thunder, that could only mean one thing… 

“There we go.” I pointed as another bang rang out, this time with lightning accompanying it. “What a sight! I can’t remember the last time I saw thunder and lighting! Now we just need to make sure it doesn’t hit us.” 

“Oh, and of course I’d love to check out the peak meteor shower with you! Just let me know the night and it’s on.” I grinned. The prospect of that was a very exciting one indeed for me. 

*** 

_ “You know, this is almost better than a clear night. Sprinklers and a light show,” I joked back. “It shouldn't actually hit us at all. Most strikes occur in open fields and strike from the ground up. We’re good.”  _

_ I knew what those two were doing. They had to be plenty aggravated that Teagan’s mood wasn’t the least bit fazed at this new development. I’m sure my subtle encouragement wasn’t helping matters much.  _

_ This pleased me. Immensely. _

*** 

“Well, that’s a relief. Because if it had hit us, we would have been so fucked.” I laughed. 

My eyes were drawn back to the sky, now a dark, gloomy grey and full of billowing clouds. “You’ve seen the Truman Show, right? You know how, during the film, the people behind the scenes keep changing the weather to mess with him? Is it me or is that kind of happening here?” 

I narrowed my eyes. “Just saying, if it starts hailing or snowing next, I’m onto them.”

I jested, but it was pretty funny how quickly things had escalated.

*** 

_ “Feels like that, right?” I replied, adding jokingly, “We’d better be careful not to anger the producers then. They’ll totally get their effects department to give us the works.”  _

_ Yes, I was totally ribbing on them. Although, the prank was losing its charm. “Personally, if I had any say at all, I’d humbly request that they back off and leave our moment alone.” I sounded light-hearted, but my pointed crimson glare at the sky conveyed otherwise.  _

_ In a moment, the rain slowed to a gentle fall. I huffed a laugh at Teagan, eyes back to blue. “Look at that, it worked.” _

*** 

The second the rain lessened after Finn spoke, as if God or whatever cosmic force was behind the sudden bad weather had decided enough was enough, I fell into hysterics. Was there ever a more perfectly timed moment than that? I don’t think there was, and there might never be. Coincidences like that only happen once in a blue moon. 

“Oh my God, that was perfect!” I laughed, falling backwards so I was floating on my back. “I wish I had filmed all that!” 

*** 

_ “Hey, if things were like The Truman Show, no worries - it’s already recorded,” I grinned. I sank below the surface and swam to the other end when the pool.  _

_ When I came back up, the clouds were beginning to disperse to another part of the city. It was the equivalent of a scolded kid kicking rocks as he shuffled off down the sidewalk. _

*** 

“Yeah, but then...who’s watching, Finn?  _ Who’s watching? _ ” I grinned, before breast-stroking my way over to where he was. My hair was absolutely soaking, courtesy of the rain. Compared to Finn, I looked far worse for wear. One of the downsides of having long-ish hair, I suppose. Plus, I did bring it on myself by undoing my ponytail. 

“This was fun.” I said, coming to a stop before him. “Definitely going to have to do this again. Hopefully when we come to see the meteors.”

***

_ “It’s a promise,” I replied, certain. “I’ll check the dates and watch the weather.” _

_ Her hair was wet and scattered about her head and amid the water. “I can say that I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life,” I said quietly as I looked at her. _

*** 

I let out a nervous laugh, letting the wet strands fall forward to hide my blush. “Yo-You won’t be saying that come the morning once it’s all frizzed up.”  

Leaning back against the ladder into the pool, I was pleased that I had the Red Bull. This was the latest I’d ever stayed up and I wasn’t fighting to stay awake like I would be most nights. Success! 

“So, what now? Swim around a bit more? Call it a night?” 

***

_  “How about we go back in, take showers and get into comfortable clothes? I’ll make us something hot to drink, we’ll wind down and end this awesome night on a high note. That sound alright?” _

*** 

“Sounds good!” I gave him a high five and then climbed out. The cool breeze hit my bare legs and face, a pleasant feeling in this heat. “How about we have hot chocolate? Everyone loves hot chocolate, plus, if you have whipped cream and some caramel, I can make it even a hundred times better.” 

*** 

_ “You read my mind,” I replied as I followed suit. “I like to add chocolate shavings to the top of the whipped cream, just because it looks good.”  _

_ I grabbed our now-sodden towels and wrung out water from them both before hanging them on the backs of two chairs to dry out overnight. I joined her and we returned to the apartment, a pair of wet but happy moppets. “You go ahead and get the first shower. I’ll get the stuff together for cocoa.” _

*** 

“One of these days, we should have a competition and see who can outdo each other on making the best cup of hot cocoa.” I then giggled, imagining it ending up like that scene from  _ The Simpsons Movie _ with Ned Flanders. We’d get more and more outlandish in our creations until it was a beast of a hot chocolate. 

“Right! I won’t be too long!” I said, heading for the bathroom. 

One of the joys of going swimming is the warm (or, on a hot night like tonight, the lukewarm verging on cold) shower that follows afterwards. It just feels so refreshing and cleansing. 

I washed my hair with some shampoo as quickly as possible, before stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my head into a turban. 

“I’m done. Your turn.” I called to Finn as I stepped out.

*** 

_ “By the way...I’d totally win for best hot cocoa. Soon as I get out, I’ll show you why,” I stated, grinning as I escaped into the bathroom with my clothes. _

_ Under the streaming water, I washed my hair and body, chasing away the lingering scent of chlorine from the pool. Once I finished, I dried off and pulled on black boxer briefs and a light grey t-shirt.  _

_ I stepped out and, after hanging my trunks out to dry, I headed into the kitchen and started the cocoa: whole milk, cocoa powder, sugar, and my (kinda) secret ingredient for this one: peanut butter.  _

_ This was going to be good. _

*** 

I stood back and watched Finn do his thing, a mixture of curiosity and amusement on my face.

“You do realize, once we’re back to my place, I’m going to have to make my own specialty hot chocolate? You can’t make that kind of boast and not expect a contest, Finn. Plus, you need to try mine before you think you’ve won. Only fair.” 

Craning my neck, I tried to see if he was putting any ingredients different from mine, but he was hiding them well.

***

_ “You're right, lovely, on all counts. But I promise you: you’ve never had cocoa until you’ve had this.” _

_ The ingredients blended and merged together smoothly over the medium heat, melting the peanut butter down until there were no lingering chunks, steaming it perfectly. I turned off the heat and split the cocoa into two large mugs. I reached into the fridge and pulled out my dispenser of homemade whipped cream, squeezing a nice dollop on top of both. Finally, a drizzle of caramel syrup and a dusting of chocolate shavings, and they were set.  _

_ “If only I had Nutter Butter cookies. Probably overkill, but still makes it kinda fun,” I said with a grin as I handed Teagan her mug. “Careful, it's pretty warm.” _

*** 

“When it comes to hot chocolate, nothing is overkill.” I corrected Finn. 

Taking the mug from Finn and thanking him, I blew into it so it would cool down a bit. It looked positively delectable, I had to admit. Not unlike mine, the only difference being the chocolate shavings and an added ingredient that smelled suspiciously like peanuts. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to top this save for throwing more stuff at it and maybe blow-torching the whipped cream.

Once I was sure taking a sip wouldn’t burn my tongue, I did so. I licked my lips appreciatively as the warm, delicious liquid ran down my throat, warming my body up. 

“...You added peanut to this, didn’t you?” I asked, taking another sip and savouring the taste on my tongue. 

*** 

_ “Peanut butter, yup,” I replied with a small smile. “It's like a peanut butter cup, but not quite as sweet and much smoother going down. There’s a few cocoa recipes I know, but this one’s a favorite. You like it?” _

_ I took a sip, getting a little of the whipped cream on my nose. “Oh yeah, and the whipped cream is homemade too.” I grinned. _

*** 

“Begrudgingly, I do. It’s delicious.” I said, drinking some more and savouring the taste. I’d never thought peanut butter would work in hot chocolate, but I stand corrected. 

I held back a laugh as I saw Finn grinning at me, whipped cream on his nose.

“Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.” I reached out and swiped off the cream with my index finger before licking it.

*** 

_ My nose crinkled reflexively as she swiped the cream from the tip. Which gave me a delightful idea.  _

_ Taking a small dot of cream from the top, I reached across and touched it to her nose.  _

_ The look on her face as her eyes crossed to look down was priceless. My grin was as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. _

*** 

“Great, now I look like a fool.” I laughed, before having another sip of my mug like I didn't have cream currently on my nose. 

*** 

_ A giggle escaped my mouth. I took another drink and came back up with a bit more of the cream. The tip of my nose tickled a bit, but not enough to be a bother.  _

_ “Now you’re not alone. We’ll look like fools together,” I declared. _

*** 

We stared at each other and lasted for all of ten seconds before falling into a fit of laughter. 

_ God, we’re such dorks sometimes.  _

Finishing off my mug of hot chocolate, I wiped the cream off my nose. 

*** 

_ I finished my cocoa and took both mugs to rinse and set in the dishwasher.  _

_ “So now that we’ve confirmed that we’re total goofballs, what would you like to do now?” _

***

“Hmmm… How about we head to bed, but just talk. Just lie there, talking until we fall asleep? ...Or I pass out and you stay up watching TV since that’s the norm with us.” 

***

_ “I’m okay with going to bed and talking, being together until we both crash. Let’s get the lights off and head to my room.” _

_ I started cleaning up the rest of the mess in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and wiping down the counters before shutting off everything but the plug-in nightlight.  _

_ My bed was probably a bit bigger than most people should have - a California king - but it was cozy...and who wouldn’t want an entire cloud of softness to themselves?  _

_ But I don’t mind Teagan sharing it with me at all. _

*** 

One thing I loved about sleeping over at Finn’s apartment was his bed. It was the longest bed I’d ever seen, and, though it wasn’t as wide as my King sized bed, I barely noticed the difference. Plus, as well as spacious, the mattress was ridiculously soft and comfy. 

“You know, these silk PJs are nice,” I said, as I climbed onto his bed. “But I’m just starting to realise that they’re not very practical.” 

*** 

_ I laughed, leaning against the headboard. “They’re nice, I agree. But why aren’t they practical?” _

*** 

“Well, look at them!” I motioned towards my body. “The top is long-sleeved and the bottoms are shorts. Cute, but neither work for winter or summer. Winter, my legs will be cold, and in the summer, my top half will be heating up compared to the rest of my body! They fail as pajamas!” 

*** 

_ “Ha! Well, you got a good point there. If you like, I have comfy clothes for you to sleep in if you’d rather change?” _

***

I gave it some thought, then declined. “Nah. Thanks for offering, but it’s not too hot tonight, so I’ll be fine. Besides, if it gets too much,” I undid the top button, smiling at Finn from under my eyelashes. “I can always just take it off like the last time.” 

***

_ “No argument from me. I certainly enjoyed the view,” I replied with a sly smirk. “As warm as it’s been, I might do the same. Truth be told, I only really wear clothes around you and at work. Just saying.” _

*** 

“Re-Really?” My eyes widened slightly.  _ So, he’s one of those people who sleeps in the nude? _

I deliberated on what to say. I wanted to tell him to go right ahead, that he didn’t have to stay dressed on account of me, but...what if the temptation proved too much? 

Resolving to remain strong, I said, “Well, you don’t have to. If…if you prefer to sleep without your clothes on, then go right ahead. Just, erm…” I could feel my cheeks turning red even as I spoke “Can I turn the lights off? Not because I don’t want to see you naked -  _ not at all _ \- but, if I do, I might... I don’t want to risk giving into temptation, you know?” 

*** 

_ I chuckled. “You’re blushing again. And anyway, I have no problem keeping covered for you. I just felt comfortable enough to tell you that. It’s pretty revealing, I know...but I promise you, the only article I’ll remove tonight is my shirt. I respect you too much to go further than that. Okay?” _

*** 

I nodded, still blushing. “Okay. But, yo-you can if you ever feel like it. You don’t have to stop yourself on account of me, you know?”

That said, I got settled under the sheets next to Finn. It was warm tonight, but not overly so, thankfully. 

*** 

_ “I don’t mind. What matters is that you feel comfortable and secure when you’re with me.” I placed a hand on her waist. “If I’ve done that, then I’m happy.” _

*** 

“You have.” I assured him. I then snickered, “It’s myself I don’t trust.” 

Propping my head up on my hand, I asked, “Okay, so… Favourite color?” 

After realizing the other day that I didn’t know Finn’s birthday and he mine, I’d pledged to find out as much as I could about him. All the little things that passed one’s mind, that you didn’t think about until you were asked.

***

_ “Red, for sure,” I replied. “Yours?”  _

_ I appreciated what she was trying to do. And it was curious that we hadn’t discussed these things before. They didn't seem important at the time, I suppose. The simple things like that, though, can mean a lot to someone. _

*** 

“Hmmm… Well, white doesn’t really count, so… Blue. ...Yeah, definitely blue. I like all the shades.”

“Cat or dog person? Or both?” 

***

_ “I love both. Cats are independent and great to calm down with, and dogs are playful and love you unconditionally. You?” _

*** 

“Both. Both are very loving and loyal in their own ways. Cats have this dignity to them, while dogs are just a barrel of fun. I always say, get a cat if you have a busy lifestyle, and get a dog if you have the time really raise it and walk it and everything.” 

I looked at him. “Got a question for me?” 

*** 

_ I considered for a moment. “I do, actually. If you could pick a place in the world, just one, to run away to for a week...where would you go?” _

***

“Ooooh, good question.”

 It took me a while to answer. After all, there were so many countries, and so many places one could go to within those countries. 

“I’d say… Either Norway, mainly so I could see the Northern Lights. Or Keukenhof Park in Holland. It’s a rainbow field of tulips and just the most beautiful thing ever.” I looked up at Finn. “You?”

***

_ “Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia during the rainy season...it’s a giant salt flat that, when it’s covered in water, it becomes a direct reflection of the sky. Either that or Vieques Island, where there’s a bioluminescent beach - the water glows blue when you disturb it. It’s a sight to behold.” _

*** 

“We should go to these places. Maybe, I don’t know, save up and then, once a year, we pick a place we’ve always wanted to go to, and we just do it. Even if it’s only for three days or two, we can go see it?” I suggested. It was a nice thought, at the very least. 

***

_ “I’d love that. I’d love to travel with you. I’d take time off for that, and we’ll plan something together.” _

***

“Okay, here’s a fun one. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” 

*** 

_ I considered her question, and I laughed inside.  _ **_Oh, dear Teagan, if you only knew what I was capable of…_ ** __

_ Finally, I answered, “Foresight. To be able to see the future and all the possible ways that a situation can go. How about you?” _

***

“When I was a kid, I would have said I wanted to fly. I loved picturing myself flying above the clouds. But, now that I’m older, I don’t think so. Not that it’s not a good superpower, but, well, we have planes and wing gliding. I know it’s not the same, but if I’m going to pick a superpower, I want it to be something that humanity will probably  _ never _ have in their reach. So...I’m going to go with the power to manipulate probability. I’d be able to make the near impossible possible, and give bad luck to my enemies, you name it. It’s one of those powers I think would come in really useful, you know?” 

*** 

_ “I could definitely see that. That would be an awesome superpower,” I agreed.  _

_ I considered a question. “Hmmm...if you could change one thing about yourself...like, if you were given the power to do so... what would you change and why?” _

***

“That’s a hard one since I’m really, as you know, supercritical about myself.” I said truthfully. “I suppose if I had to change one thing, I’d probably stop worrying so much. What people think, all the bad things that could happen, things that are in the past or are out of my control. My life would probably be a lot easier if I wasn’t such a worrywort. How about you?”

*** 

_ I nodded. “I could…stand to be a bit more balanced in my life. Before you, I focused a lot on work and staying ahead of things and...it’s pretty stressful sometimes. For a moment I was pretty certain I was married to the work. But, with you, it’s different. I have someone worth making time for, someone outside of my knucklehead friends to relate to. Someone I can put my excess energy into and find calm at the end of the day. If I’m being honest, you’re the best thing ever to happen to me. I’m still pretty intense at work, but it’s getting easier to separate that and forget when I’m with you.” _

*** 

Knowing that I’d made that much of an impact on someone’s life, and just by being me, even with all my problems? Was probably the nicest thing ever said to me. 

“I don’t even need to say it, but you’re definitely the best thing to ever happen to me. Until I met you, I was just going through the motions. Just living a really empty life. But now? I’m just so happy. Happy to be living it with you and excited to see what the future holds in store for us.” 

I yawned. The Red Bull had started to wear off. I was getting sleepy. Had to happen sooner or later, I suppose. 

*** 

_ I stroked her hair and gently kissed her. “So am I, lovely,” I replied softly. “So am I.” _

_ My fingers found their way to her scalp and worked in calming circular patterns. It never seemed to fail to soothe her to sleep. _

*** 

I fell asleep pretty quickly after that, helped in no small part to Finn stroking my head as I drifted off. 

Others might say the night was something of a letdown thanks to the sudden bad weather. I would respectfully disagree. I couldn’t have asked for a better night. My only regret was that I couldn’t have stayed up longer. 

***

_ I’ll never tell her this, but one of the most serene moments in my day? _

_ Watching her sleep.  _

_ Yeah, I play around in her dreams. But this right here? I love seeing her at peace. No nightmares, no pain. Just bliss.  _

_ Yeah. Definitely one of my favorites. _


	41. The Demon's Game

The dream I had that night was _yet again_ the kind of scenario that only a mind like mine could concoct. 

In it, I’d been kidnapped. I’m not sure how I knew this considering I couldn’t even remember how I came to be here, I just did. I came to in this small, bare room with nothing whatsoever to give me a hint as to why I was even here to begin with. 

“Hey! Is somebody out there? Open the door! Let me out!” I yelled, pounding on the door. 

*** 

**Oh...she’s been kidnapped this time. If Finn wasn’t trying to keep her asleep, he’d be laughing with the same twisted glee I have.**

**Teagan will not at all be prepared for this.**

*** 

Here’s something ridiculous: The door was unlocked. 

I was stunned. The whole time I’d been banging on the damn thing, and all I needed to do was just turn the doorknob and I’d be free? Unbelievable! I’m guessing my captors were banking on me never actually trying to open the door. _Idiots._  

Stepping cautiously out into the hallway, looking left and right incase anyone came or spotted me, I began to walk forward, intent on finding an exit. Hopefully I’d be able to… 

***

**“Teagan Dunn,” I growled menacingly through the speaker system. “I see you trying to escape. Leaving so soon?”**

**I leaned back in my chair, watching her from my office. A screen of all active cameras sat before me on a computer monitor. A silver microphone in my hand connected to the speaker system throughout.**

**“I was about to come down and play with you…”**

***

I froze. _Oh shit._  

_Don’t stop. Keep going. So what if he can see you? He can’t catch you!_ My mind egged me on to ignore the man over the intercom.

Deciding to heed it and not wanting to find out what my captor’s idea of ‘play’ was, I kept on walking. There had to be a turning or door that would get me out of here. It was just a matter of finding it before the henchman found me.

*** 

**“There are three doors open in this place,” I informed. “One will lead to your freedom, one to your untimely demise, and the other? Well, directly to me. And one of those is a lie. Good luck figuring out which one. But do so before my two friends find you and bring you directly to me. You have exactly three minutes. Better run, little rabbit. You’re being hunted. Good luck. Maybe I’ll see you soon…?” I let out a sinister laugh.**

**Was I having too much fun?**

**Yes. Yes, I was.**

**Not a single regret about it, either.**

*** 

“What are you, a _Bond_ villain?” I yelled out loud. “Who does this!?” 

With only three minutes and two henchmen on my trail, I sped away blindly, looking for these three doors. So far, all I was met with was a long, white hallway with two doors, my prison behind me, and a door before me. 

I opened that door and was met with another hallway. Running through that, _another_ hallway.

Deviating, I opened a door to my right and ran down the stairs, but that just led me to yet another hallway. It seemed, no matter where I ran, I was always met with the same thing: an empty level with only one way to go and that was forward. 

_This place doesn’t make sense!_  

Starting to lose hope, I opened another door to enter a corridor, different from the rest. There was a stairway leading up...and three doors. 

I paused. _I’ve found them!_

***

**Oh look, she found them.**

**Wonder which one she’ll pick…**

**“Two minutes, little rabbit.”**

*** 

Relief turned to fear as I realised I had no idea how to proceed forward. 

_Three doors. One led to freedom, one to death, one to my captor and imprisonment again…_

_And one of those is a lie._  

I deliberated. It was like some logic puzzle, really. Problem was, logic puzzles took time to figure out and that was something I didn’t have. 

_Ok, think Teagan. Out of the three, the door leading you to him_ **_must_ ** _be the truth. Because you know he’s watching you and he’s somewhere in the building._  

So, that left the door to death and freedom. I theorised that the door to certain death was the lie. One, the idea of a room containing a death trap was ridiculous to me. This was not one of the Saw films, for God’s sake! Plus, I was taken into this building, there had to be a way out. Simple, really. 

Now that I knew which was the lie and which was the truth, I just needed to figure out which door was the entrance… 

*** 

**She’s thinking about this pretty hard. And she’s running out of time.**

**“Seventy five seconds and counting.”**

***

“ _Shit!_ Shit, shit, shit!” I hissed under my breath. My time was running out! 

I assessed the positions of the doors. One to my right, one to my left, and one straight ahead. Neither of them gave any hint as to where they led to. They didn’t even have keyholes to peek into. 

_Maybe I could open the door a little bit, just to see inside and know if I’m right?_

Ten seconds had passed. I now have sixty five seconds left. If I deliberated any longer it’d be less than a minute…

Walking up to the one to my right, I fell to my knees and tried peeking under the gap. 

Nothing. Infuriatingly, it seemed this bit was going to be pure guess-work. I was going to have to pick one and hope it worked out. 

_Okay… If the entrance was going to be anywhere...it’d be straight ahead, right? Most buildings have their entrance on the front. The right and left probably lead to other rooms. That’s it!_

Confident I’d figured it out, I made my way to the door in front of me and opened it-

I was met with a blank wall.

_...What…? Wh...What’s going on?_

*** 

**“Nice try. Wrong, of course, but nice effort. Wouldn’t stand there much longer in slack-jawed shock, though...forty five seconds remain.”**

*** 

_Don’t panic! Just because you got a dud, doesn’t mean the exit isn’t the right or the left door!_  

With not much time left, I chose the right door, throwing it open. _It has to be this! It just has to be!_

It looked to be a basement. The stairs leading down into darkness.

I hesitated. _This...doesn’t not look like an exit…_  

My hand on the railing, I took careful steps forward, one at a time...until I felt my foot fall through mid-air. Bending down, I waved a hand and my eyes widened with horror as I realised that the rest of the stairs had been removed. If I hadn’t been cautious, if I had just run down, believing I’d picked the right door...I would have fallen right down. And God knows what awaited me at the bottom. 

I backed away, shaking my head. _That door led to certain death, so...the door to freedom was the lie? No! No, no, no! That’s impossible!_  

*** 

**“That...would have been a nasty fall. But it does appear you've figured something out.”**

**I hit a switch that opened the door to my room.**

*** 

Eyes wide, I started to back away. _I am_ **_not_ ** _going in there! I’ll go back the other way, search the building. There has to be a way out of here!_

***

**“I mean, you don’t have to. You could find your way back to your cell. Which means you’ll have to dodge my henchmen and hope they’ll show you mercy. And if you do get back to your cell, I’ll just come play with you anyway. So make your choice. Either way, I’ll have fun.”**

_***_

“ _Why are you doing this!?_ ” I demanded. “Look, if you want money, you’re wasting your time. My parents aren’t going to pay you!”

Continuing to take a step back, I glanced over my shoulder at the empty corridor. He’d lied about there being a door that would let me escape, maybe he was lying about the henchmen? 

***

**“If you honestly think I’m lying about the henchmen, then take a chance. Head back to your cell. Or save yourself the trouble...you might even get answers to your questions.”**

*** 

_What should I do? If I take the risk of going back and the henchmen find me...I might not come out of this alive…_

_Of course, that might be the case if I go in_ **_there_ ** _…_  

It was as I was agonizing over what to do that something occurred to me. Something very disturbing. 

“Wait… How do you know I thought you were lying about your henchmen?” I demanded. “I didn’t say that out loud.”

Come to think of it…he’d responded to a lot of things I was thinking in my head…

*** 

**I sighed heavily. “I really was trying to be nice about this. But...oh well, fuck it.”**

**I’ll just have to drag her in myself. Kicking and screaming, by the ankles.**

**And she won’t see it coming.**

***

“Nice? You fucking kidnapped me, how is any of this nice?!” I shot back, annoyed. 

And then I tensed up as his words sank in. “Wait, what are you going to do!?” I backed away even more, my fear increasing. Any minute now I was going to fall into a panic and just leg it out of there, and damn the consequences. 

*** 

**With a snap of my fingers I sent two chains, charged with dark energy, towards the door. As soon as they met the doorway, they aimed for her legs.**

**I heard a satisfying scream as they grabbed her.**

*** 

“ _What the fuck!?_ ” 

The air was knocked out of me as I went crashing to the ground and started sliding across the floor, the chains pulling me into the room where my captor waited. 

“No! Stop! Help! Someone help me!” My fingernails tried to dig into the smooth, polished surface, but skimmed over it hopelessly. Trying to free my legs proved just as futile, the chains wrapped tight around them.

The only chance I had was to hold onto the door frame for dear life. 

I gritted my teeth and suppressed a groan. The chains were pulling so hard that my lower body was now in mid-air, while my upper half stayed on the ground, nails making dents in the wood. 

*** 

**A hell of a fight she’s putting up. At least it’s entertaining, but…I don’t like to wait.**

**I sent two more chains, this time for her wrists. That should move things along.**

*** 

I probably wouldn’t have been able to hold on forever. Sooner or later, I would have had to let go, but, at the very least, I was putting up a fight. He didn’t have me yet. 

And then I felt those chains wrap around my wrists and I knew it was over. 

“N-NO!” I wailed, feeling them start to pull. “Stop! Goddamn you, this isn’t fair! Let go!!” 

I tried my hardest to hold on, but I couldn’t handle four chains. My fingernails scraped off the wood as the force caused me to lose my grip and continued pulling me in, even faster this time. 

The door I had just come through closed forebodingly. If this were a game, this would be the point where the Game Over screen played. 

***

**Finally. Time for some fun.**

**I snapped my fingers for the chains to release her. Though she was but inches from the ground.**

***

Not sparing a glance my captor’s way, I clamoured to my feet and ran right back towards the door. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. 

I banged on it furiously. “Open the door! Someone please help me! I’m trapped in here and I need to escape! Help me!” If I yelled loud enough, someone outside the building might hear me and come to my rescue, right? 

***

**“You could try that, but you’re basically wasting your breath,” I said plainly, watching her from my desk. “No one’s going to hear you. And you’re not getting out unless I decide to allow it. Which I probably won’t...because we’re going to have fun, you and I.”**

***

I stopped pounding on the door. What was the point? As he said, no one was going to hear or come. All that would be achieved was me wearing my voice out with all my yelling.

Turning round, I glared at my captor. He was a handsome man - incredibly so. Blue eyes that could take your breath away, a sexy, smooth voice that could melt your bones. And a smug, self-assured smile that made me want to punch him. He also may or may not be a mind reader, I had my suspicions. 

“I don’t know what your idea of fun is, but _you_ ,” I pointed a shaking finger a him, “can stay the hell away from me.” 

Backing away until I was on the other side of the room from him, I demanded, “Why did you kidnap me? Is this something you just do, or have my mother and father pissed you off!?” 

That...wasn’t too far-fetched, actually. My mother and father may get on very well with the religious half of the community, while staying away from the other half...but you need only say the wrong thing to the wrong person for something to turn ugly or get blown out of proportion. 

***

**“Wow...you’re awfully presumptuous.”**

**I stood to my feet and sauntered towards her. “I** ** _abducted_** **you - you’re a grown woman, not a child - because a little birdie told me that this was a fantasy of yours. Getting taken and bound against your will....among other things.” I cocked an eyebrow at that one.**

*** 

“Whatever.” I scowled. “And who told you that?” 

Save for my parents and Father Doherty, there was no one who knew me personally. And, even if there was, I highly doubted I’d confide in them, especially if they were the type to go blabbing. 

***

**“Friend of mine,” I shrugged. “Caught wind of your dreams while you slept. So I had to take a look myself and you’re incredibly naughty, aren’t you? Spankings, power play, and…” I feigned a stunned gasp. “Bondage?! Oh my….and with** **_monsters_ ** _,_ **no less. So naturally, I had to meet you and make this thing happen.”**

***

“That’s bullshit!” I said, face aflame. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but stop it. Re-Reading my mind is one thing, but my _dreams?_ Don’t make me laugh! An-and besides, I can’t help what I dream about! And it’s not like they mean anything!”

I began to edge away from him. 

***

**“Well...you’re not saying I’m wrong either,” I refuted, taking a step closer for every one she took backward. “And are you honestly going to stand here and tell me, someone who can read you like a book, that I’m spouting bullshit?”**

**Her body hit the wall. I stopped less than a foot in front of her. “You can lie to yourself all day, but not to me. Never to me.”**

*** 

“ _What are you?!_ ” 

Reading my mind and looking into my dreams… What the hell had I been abducted by? Was he even human!? 

*** 

**“Oh, right...rude of me to not introduce myself…” My eyes flashed red. “Bálor’s the name. Nice to meet you.”**

***

Seeing those red eyes awoke a primitive fear in me. My fight and flight instinct flared and, within seconds, I was running away from him.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God…!” I said over and over to myself. 

***

**“You could call me that if you like, too, I’m not picky. Master’s more my thing. Even Sir works,” I retorted, half-joking as I followed her movements. “But He’s not here either. Just me. So you’ll have to wrap your head around that.”**

*** 

“St-Stay away from me!” I yelled when I saw him on my tail. “I-I’m warning you!”

What I was warning him of I had no idea. I was stuck in this room with a demon. How the hell was I going to get out of this or defend myself? I couldn’t! 

...Unless I used my crucifix. That had to work, right? 

Grabbing the cross that hung around my neck, I held it out like a shield. I was about to shout “the power of Christ compels you”, but decided not to. I’d feel like a complete idiot if I did, demon or no demon. 

*** 

**I snickered, then enjoyed a full-on belly laugh. Then, wiping a bloody tear from my eye, I replied with calm amusement, “That’s cute. Real cute.”**

**I brushed a finger downward in mid-air, it turn fiery in her grasp and she dropped it quickly.**

**“Doesn’t work on any demon outside of those dumbass exorcism movies. And it certainly doesn’t work on the Demon King. But...nice try though. Good show. You’re going to be a LOT of fun.”**

*** 

_Well...that was a complete and utter failure…_

“Oh, shut up! It was worth a shot, okay?” Lip wobbling, holding back tears - more out of embarrassment than anything else - I asked, “And Demon King? What, are you saying you’re the Devil?” 

*** 

**“Pretty much, yeah,” I shrugged. “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, you know. I’m not mad. I don’t blame you for being a little scared, combative.. It’s a lot to process.”**

*** 

“Yeah, you think?” I wiped my eyes as the first tear fell. “Well, seeing as I’m trapped here and it’s been established there’s nothing I can do about it, just do whatever it is you plan to do to me already.” 

*** 

**“Oh, that’s no fun if you’re dejected like that. Come on,” I ribbed. “I’m giving you a prime opportunity to live out a long brewing fantasy of yours, on a silver platter no less. You can’t tell me you’re not the least bit intrigued.”**

***

I was, but my intrigue at what he had in mind was drowned out by the fact that this was the goddamn _Devil_ here and I’d been abducted. These things couldn’t be hand waved away!

“Say I decide to go along with this willingly. What happens afterwards? And why me? Out of ALL the people on this planet, why me?” 

*** 

**“Good grief, sooooo many questions. Do you exhaust yourself sometimes from overthinking?” I scoffed. “** **_‘Why you?’_ ** **Because I felt like it, that’s why! I liked what I saw and decided to see to you personally, simple as that. As for your other question? What happens from here depends largely on you. Play along and find out. That is, unless that streak of yellow where your spine should be is more than just fear...”**

*** 

Yet again, I found myself glaring at him. “Shut up! I have every right to ask questions and be scared! _You’re the Devil!_ Like hell I’m going to believe that you plan to make a fantasy of mine come true and then just let me go! There’s always a catch!” 

I turned my back on him to try and steady my nerves. 

I was stuck here. I couldn’t leave until Bálor let me and that seemed unlikely at this point. Whether I agreed to ‘play’ with him, willing or not, wasn’t going to change that. So, really, the question here was, which was the best course of action? Keep refusing? Or play along and then probably wind up dead anyway? 

_What should I do? I don’t want to die…_  

*** 

**“You’re not going to die,” I corrected. “Not here, anyway. I have no interest in bloodshed right now. A little bloodletting, on the other hand...that’s kinda fun.”**

**After a pause, I added, “All I want is to satisfy a need you have. Your faith has nothing to do with it. Your reasoning has nothing to do with it either. Just you. At my mercy. Now, I can easily take care of this dilemma and show you what I mean. In fact…”**

**I snapped my fingers and chains flanked both sides, claiming an ankle and wrist each, spreading her open and vulnerable, before suspending her in mid-air.**

**“How about now?”**

*** 

It was a relief to hear I wouldn’t be dying. That was something at least. 

And then the chains came out, binding me in place, and, for a second, my thoughts left me. All I could do was gape at Bálor, wondering what came next. 

I was afraid, incredibly so...but, mixed in there was also excitement.

*** 

**“Hmmm... something’s missing. Or** **_not_ ** **missing, depending on your perspective. Oh right…”**

**With a wave of my hand, her clothes disappeared.**

**“That’s better. A lovely display.” I looked over her exposed body appreciatively.**

*** 

“Ah!” I exclaimed, my face burning red. “N-No, put them back!” 

If my arms had been free, I would have tried to cover my exposed body. God knows what else he had planned. 

*** 

**“What’s there to be ashamed of? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. And besides, God made quite a work of art with you. Nothing wrong with showing off sometimes,” I said nonchalantly. “Also...I’m not exactly giving you a choice. At** ** _my_** **mercy, remember? That means I take what I want. But don’t worry...you’ll enjoy it.”**

*** 

The blush didn’t die down at his praise. If anything it intensified. I wasn’t used to being complimented, especially on how attractive I was. 

At the same time, much to my intense embarrassment, I felt the beginning signs that my body was starting to get aroused by my current predicament. I noticed it started every time Bálor brought up at how I was at his mercy. I had no say in this, etc. 

“Wh-What are you going to do?”

 ***

**“With all this beautiful canvas to play with?” I ran my fingers across the skin of her stomach, along her side, barely grazing her breast. “Whatever I want. It’s all mine to do with as I please,” I whispered in her ear.**

**At that, I firmly squeezed at a taut nipple.**

*** 

At that, I let out a surprised yelp. If I could, I would have pulled away, but as I was now, I could barely move. 

“Please…” 

I’m not entirely sure what I’m asking for, if I’m begging him to stop or continue. 

*** 

**I put more pressure on it, rolling it just a bit between my fingers.** _“_ **_Please_ ** _..._ **what** **_? Stop? Keep going? More, harder, faster, slower…?_ ** **You’ll have to use your words. I can also just pull them from your mind. I already know you’re enjoying this.”**

*** 

I closed my eyes, biting my lip at the sensation of his fingers mercilessly toying with my nipple. 

“Please… _Urrrgh,_ _I don’t know!_ ” I growled. One second I wanted him to stop, and then the next I didn’t. My mind was a contrary mess right now and I couldn’t think straight because all I could focus on was the feel of his fingers on my taut teat. 

Opening my eyes, I looked at Bálor pleadingly and said, “Please, Master! Have mercy!”

He said he preferred ‘master’. Plus, he was the Demon King. ‘Sir’ just didn’t feel fitting enough. 

*** 

**“She pleads for mercy, and so prettily,” I cooed. I released her nipple, only to take it into my mouth and draw upon it until she gasped and arched her back.**

**Taking it further, I nipped at it with my teeth, then soothed it over with my tongue. After giving her other breast the same treatment, I asked softly against her lips, “Was** **_that_ ** **merciful?”**

***

I shuddered. Was that more merciful? I could not say. It was just as torturous and pleasurable to endure, maybe even more so. 

The bondage restricting me was both a curse and a blessing. It stopped me from doing anything, I was _literally_ at his mercy. But, at the same time, being absolutely restrained, being reduced to his little plaything was also exhilarating. I couldn’t explain why, it just was. There was a special kind of freedom that came from bondage, nonsensical as that sounded. 

Head down, I panted, trying to keep a hold of myself. 

*** 

**“Don’t keep quiet on my account,” I chuckled. “Make all the noise you want. I like hearing you. Or maybe I need to do more to draw them out of you…?”**

**My hand trailed lower, lower, lower, until I found her core, wet and aching. I cupped it, using my palm to graze the bundle of nerves. My fingers brushed against her sensitive skin, teasing right at her entrance.**

*** 

I scrunched up my eyes. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t help but moan out loud. Any woman in my position would, and the ones that didn’t must surely have nerves of steel. 

Bálor didn’t withdraw his hand from my privates, still fondling it with that cruel, amused smirk on his face. I begged for mercy, but mercy would not be given. I knew now that he only wanted one thing from me and that was to take me to my limit and watch me break. 

“Master…” I panted. “I’m not sure I can’t take it.” It would have been hard enough under normal circumstances. But now? With my wrists and feet occupied? It’d be _unbearable._  

*** 

**“You can...and you will,” I affirmed.**

**I slid a finger in slowly, enjoying how tightly she gripped. I placed kisses along her neck as it sank deeper inside of her heat. In concert with my palm, I began sliding in and out at a torturously steady pace.**

**“You will take everything I give you because I know you can. And you will take it until I say otherwise,” I ordered in a low voice before nipping at her earlobe.**

***

_Oh God. Oh Gooood. I can’t take this, I can’t!_  

Biting my lip so hard the skin could break any second, I fought not to break down begging or moaning wantonly. He must have known by the look of pain and pleasure on my face, though, the kind of effect he was having on me. 

I might not have been able to move my arms and legs, but I could still sort of move my hips a little. Every time he pushed his finger in, I tried to push in turn against him. 

I rested my head against his shoulder, sweat starting to form on my forehead, heart thumping. 

“What if I can’t?” I asked, voice strained. “What then?” 

*** 

**“You can,” I replied. “You won’t get more than you can handle...just enough to drive you crazy.”**

**I quickened my pace while my free hand found her lovely ass, and took a nice handful. “You’re doing so well, look at you. Such a good girl.”**

*** 

“Urgh, yo-you’re so cruel, Master…” 

I let out another moan, this time due to him praising me. I was such a sucker for being called a good girl, it was kind of sad, really. And as for the quickening pace, if he kept that up, it’d be my undoing. 

I had a feeling, by the time he granted me my release, I’d be a pleading mess. 

Forehead resting on his shoulder I turned my face towards his and planted a kiss against his cheek. Then again and down his neck. “My Master...” 

*** 

**I leaned into her kisses, tilting until I captured her mouth with mine. Eyes closed, our lips caressed, then opened and entwined with one another as I pushed her closer to the edge, my hands working harder to unravel her.**

**I wanted to watch her fly. It wouldn’t be much longer now.**

**Breaking the kiss, I breathed, “That’s my good girl. You want your release, don’t you? You’re so close.”**

*** 

“I do. Please give it to me, Master, I can’t take anymore. Please, please, please…”

 As expected, I was falling apart pretty quickly. He wasn’t wrong when he said I was close. His finger, pumping into me rhythmically, only had to go just a little bit harder and faster, and I’d be seeing stars in no time. 

My hands flailed uselessly in mid-air, wanting to take part, but unable to. 

*** 

**I took a breast into my mouth while my finger went harder and faster, relentless in its assault. My tongue toyed with her nipple as her body writhed and shook, on the brink.**

**I looked up at her face, keeping up my ministrations. She was wrecked with desire and need...she looked beautiful like this, even more so.**

**“Now…” I said as I released her nipple. With another kiss, I growled a single order: “** **_Come.”_ **

*** 

My body obeyed his command, the pressure that had been mounting up suddenly exploding and overtaking me completely. A strangled cry escaped me as I threw my head back. My fingers clenched, my toes curled and the rest of my tensed up, undeterred by the chains holding me in place. 

I never thought I’d be one of those people who could climax upon being ordered, but evidently that was the case. That or the Demon King was that damn good, which was even more likely. 

Gasping as the effects wore off, my body slumped. “Thank you, Master. Thank you.” I murmured under my breath. 

*** 

**“Such a good girl, you were so good,” I rasped back, certainly affected by her release. In turn I let the chains come undone, catching her in my arms, and carried her to my bed.**

**While she recovered, I tended to the red link imprints on her wrists and ankles with a soothing cream, touching her gently and whispering affirmations as I went.**

**“That’s my good girl.”**

*** 

I nodded along to everything he said, still coming down from it all. My arms and legs hang limply by my side, aching and tingling a little from being kept in one position for so long, but not so much it bothered me. 

“I’m really your good girl?” 

*** 

**“Yes, you are.” I continued to massage and care for her. “It’s not that it’s a problem...it’s that you’ve not heard that as much as you should. It’s true though. You’re a good girl...and you’re mine.”**

***

My body relaxed and I smiled. “I’m yours.” It felt nice hearing that. 

Once the high had died down, I might start to feel different and want to escape again...or maybe not? I didn’t have anything to go back to. My parents made it no secret what they thought of me, while I had no social life thanks to their influence. It was quite sad, really, how I had worth more here than back there. 

“What happens now?”

*** 

**I finished the massage and leaned over her. “You can stay with me. I won’t keep you hostage...much. You seemed to enjoy this session, so maybe something more elaborate next time?” I smirked. “You’ll be under my protection and care, and you’ll be my good girl.”**

*** 

“I’ll stay. And not just because I have nothing to go back to. I don’t know whether you really are the Devil or not, but you don’t seem bad or nasty to me...so I like you.” I smiled.

It was really as simple as that for me. After growing up with bitter words and uncaring or resentful glances from my parents, being treated kindly and like an actual person was all it took to win me over to someone. 

*** 

**“Doesn’t take much to please you, does it?” I huffed. “I like that. And quite frankly, you haven’t seen me bad yet. Like the saying goes: When I’m good, I’m very, very good. But when I’m bad…?” My eyes blazed again. “I’m** **_better_ ** _.”_  

*** 

I tensed up slightly at the sight, feeling mostly excited, but also a little scared. I don’t think that was wrong. He was a demon, after all, and the sight of one’s eyes flashing red was quite startling. A little fear was healthy, really.

Composing myself, I replied, “I look forward to seeing that...Master.” 

***

**I grinned at her calling me her Master. So perfect coming from her lips. “Good...because I don’t believe I said I was done with you yet.”**

**My hands had been traveling along her body absently as we spoke. Now they moved with purpose, to stimulate her nerves once more. I moved her hand to rest under my belt, to feel the extent of my arousal.**

**“I want much more from, my good girl.”**

*** 

My breath hitched as I felt his bulge. And, without having to see it, I could tell he was big. Maybe bigger than I could handle? 

“What…what would you like me to do for you, Master?” I asked, squeezing my fingers ever so slightly against him. All the while, I felt his hands travel all over me, touching me everywhere, from my breasts, to my neck, to my abdomen… 

*** 

**“While you’re displayed in front of me, just like this…open up to me,” I instructed.**

**Her legs parted without question, allowing me to tease her sensitive nub. With a wave of my free hand, I let my clothes fall away, and I positioned myself between her thighs, never once stopping my hand’s movement on her core.**

**“Touch me, Teagan. Learn my body as I learn yours.”**

***

Up until now, my hands had been bunched together against my chest as I stared up in wonder and slight apprehension at Bálor. 

“I… I don’t know how…” 

Still, wanting to please him, I placed one hand on his chest, rubbing it up and down, feeling the firm muscles there. And the other on his back, enjoying how the warmth radiated from his bare skin. 

I let out a small moan at the feel of his hand working me. 

*** 

**A growl rumbled in my chest at her gentle touch, pleased and wanting more. I leaned in closer to give her more access, kissing and teasing her relentlessly.**

***

Sensing that whatever I was doing, I was doing it right, the hand that was on his chest shifted to his shoulders, while the one on his back inched upwards to his head. Soon as my fingers came into contact with his brown hair, I trailed them through it and then down his face, stroking his cheek.

***

**I moved my hand and replaced it with my hard length, creating a delicious friction against her slick, heated skin. I rocked my hips, letting the tip tease her clit, both aching. Her breath shuddered at the contact. I kept it up, intense as it was.**

**It took all over my restraint not to take her in one plunging stroke. I wanted her to break again.**

**More than that, I wanted her to beg me to be inside of her.**

*** 

My eyes widened. When it seemed he was gearing up to fuck, he changed his mind at the last second with this wicked game of his. 

I lasted only a minute or so before I became impatient with need. “Wh-What are you waiting for? Put it in, Master. Please, I’m all ready.” I implored, hand stroking his arm up and down. “Please, I’ll be so good to you if you do. I’ll be your good girl. Let me show you, please.”

He must have wanted this, to hear me begging for him to take me. I could only hope I hadn’t disappointed. 

*** 

**That’s** **_exactly_ ** **what I wanted to hear. “Fuck, I love hearing you beg.”**

**I drew back, lowered my cock to her entrance, and sank in slowly, inch by throbbing inch. We both trembled and moaned. “That’s my good girl, taking all of me. So impatient, so eager.”**

**As I filled her completely, I felt her shaking beneath me, moving her hips to encourage me to move. So, I rolled and rocked, drawing pants and moans from her lips.**

**The way she felt around me...I was already lost.**

*** 

Feeling him filling me up...it was all I could think about right now. All I wanted was for him to start thrusting, harder, faster. Just never stop. 

“Oh God.” I said under my breath, not for the first and definitely not the last time. 

Hands on either side of his hips, I pushed him down harder against me, wanting him to go as deep as he could. 

*** 

**_Ask and you shall receive._ **

**I snapped my hips, going harder and to the hilt at a faster pace. It was a brutal, beastly pounding that I was all too happy to maintain.**

**Animalistic growls and pleased moans tumbled from my mouth, colliding with hers.**

**Not much longer now…she was at the edge again…**

*** 

My fingers dug into his hips with every thrust, my body shaking with the force of how hard he was fucking me. 

I’d never experienced this before. Until now, I knew only of using my hand to pleasure myself. I thought that was enough, and it was. But now? Now that I knew the joys of sex, how much more intense and pleasurable the experience was with another human being? I’m not sure I could go back…

“Yes, yes. Oh God…” I moaned, seconds away from reaching my limit.

_Just a little more…_  

*** 

**Fuck, I really didn't want this to end. She felt incredible, all wanton and wild, hot and slick.**

**But...I am, unlike Finn, an absolute dick.**

**I leaned down to her dazed face, leaving a teasing kiss on her cheek before moving to her neck. In her ear, I whispered just as she began to reach her peak:**

**_“Time to wake up, Teagan.”_ **

**And then I bit down into her shoulder.**

***

I awoke with a jolt, looking around wide-eyed to see I was in Finn’s apartment. The man in question lay fast asleep next to me. _Not_ naked and pounding me into the bed as he had been seconds ago in my dream. 

Unable to stop myself, I let out a loud “ _FUCK!_ ” **  
**


	42. Walk in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for an instance of attempted suicide (minor character)

I awoke with a jolt, looking around wide-eyed to see I was in Finn’s apartment. The man in question lay fast asleep next to me.  _ Not _ naked and pounding me into the bed as he had been seconds ago in my dream. 

Unable to stop myself, I let out a loud, “ _ FUCK! _ ” 

After dream after dream where I almost had sex with Finn, but never quite getting there, it finally happened. Now, I don’t know whether dream sex was like the real deal, but it had felt  _ amazing _ . 

And then what happened? Just as I was about to orgasm? 

He fucking wakes me up! 

Orgasm denial was quite hot, but that just took the piss. 

*** 

_ I could have laughed hearing her exclamation.  _

_ Instead I stretched and moaned, looking innocently sleepy-eyed at her exasperated expression. And (since I had some nerve) asked in jest, “What did I do...and how many times did I do it?” _

*** 

If looks could kill, Finn would probably be dead. 

Grabbing my pillow, I hit him with it. “You know what you did, you son of a bitch!”

I know I shouldn’t blame poor Finn. He couldn’t influence my dreams, it was all the fault of my subconscious, but...goddammit! Give me a break! 

Flouncing back down, I huffed. “I hate dream you so much right now _. _ ” 

***

_ I definitely chuckled a bit at that. Scooting in closer, I replied, “Dream me sounds like a dick. And yet, I like his style. Getting you all worked up only to wake you up when things get interesting? That’s pretty epic orgasm denial right there... which happens to be one of my favorite things.” _

*** 

“Dream you is the devil!  _ Literally! _ ” I shot back. 

Cooling down, I turned over on my side to face him. “You keep showing up in my dreams as a demon. What do you think that means? I’m not very good at interpreting dreams, but, if I had to take a shot, I’d say, since I really want to sleep with you, but can’t because of my faith, my subconscious interprets you as tempter. And demons pretty much exist to tempt humans down the path of sin. Or my mind's just fucked up. Probably that, knowing me.” 

“You’re not offended, are you?” I asked, a little worried. “If you makes you feel any better, I still like you in my dreams.” 

*** 

_ “Nah, not at all,” I assured with a smile. “I mean, I won’t lie...I would absolutely do those things to you -”  _

_ I dodged another swipe of her pillow, but managed to catch her wrist and playfully pinned it over her head. “But I like to finish what I start.” I kissed her lips sweetly, then released her.  _

***

“You better. I don’t know how much longer I can take,” I joked back. 

***

_ “In any case, I understand fully. And as I said before, I’m willing to wait for you because I like what we have and you’re worth it to me. Although if I could add a third theory: it’s also possible that you’ve got a subconscious desire to play with supernatural beings.” I smirked, showing I was taking the piss with that last statement. _

*** 

Upon hearing his little theory, I let out a laugh. “Hah! I’m pretty sure it’s just a taboo thing. I mean, I once had this dream where a demon was masquerading as a priest and trying to covet my soul. You have NO idea how much that freaked me out. I was at confession the next day! ...Oh shit, now that I remember it, I’m probably going to dream it now...” 

I don’t think I could handle an almost-sex dream where Finn was a demon priest…

***

_ “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Of course, if it does, I’m going to make sure you can’t hit me with anything when you wake up,” I laughed. _

*** 

“I’m giving you warning now, I will probably go postal.” 

I jested, but I seriously was reaching the end of my tether here. My dreams were starting to sink into my life, and, whereas before, I had a handle on things, it was now starting to get much harder. I was finding myself looking for more and more loopholes or ways to cheat, and it was only a matter of time until I just lost all control. 

All the more reason to see Father Cody soon. 

***  

_ “It’s okay if you do.” I pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. “I’ll still be here, and I’ll take every bit of punishment for dream me being a cruel asshole.” _

_ It was hilarious, I admit, pushing her to the edge so often without actually touching her. Yet, I had to admit, even I was being affected by the teasing. (Thankfully, I’m practiced at self restraint. _ )

*** 

I had to laugh at that. “What punishment? Getting hit by a pillow? Truly, you’re a martyr, Finn.” 

Now fully awake and feeling considerably better, I hopped out of bed. “Right! Coffee and breakfast. I’m in the mood for eggs, how about you?” 

*** 

_ “I’m definitely game. I got this new coffee that you’ve gotta try,” I gleefully added as I bounced out of bed to join her. “I’ve also got croissants, if you’re interested.” _

*** 

“I love croissants! They literally go with anything.” I grinned, taking the milk and eggs out of the fridge. I left Finn to handle the rest, since he knew where he kept everything. “And what's so special about the coffee?” 

*** 

_ “It’s apparently the strongest coffee in the world. It’s really good, incredibly smooth,” I remarked as I prepared the coffee maker. Grabbing a couple plates and mugs, I added, “If I really thought about it last night, I would have made some because it would give Red Bull a run for its money.” _

*** 

I let out a splutter of disbelief. “Seriously? Okay, I’m definitely trying this. And, it’s probably for the best you didn’t. I have a feeling if I had, I would have kept you up all night, yabbering away.” 

I cracked the eggs onto the hot frying pan. “Sunny side up or over easy?” 

*** 

_ “I wouldn’t have minded,” I smiled. “And I’ll take over-easy.”  _

_ I took the plastic box keeping the croissants fresh and secure down from the fridge and set them on the counter. _

*** 

“Over easy times two.” I smiled. I always liked my eggs to be a bit runny. Couldn’t stand hard-boiled. “Anything else you want with them?” 

*** 

_ “I’ve got leftover strawberries, that’ll work,” I replied as I prepared our plates. The only thing missing were the eggs. “Hard boiled eggs are good for some things, but not on their own.” _

*** 

“How so?” I asked absentmindedly as I waited for the eggs to be done. 

And then I froze.  _ Wait just a minute _ … 

I turned to Finn with narrowed eyes. “I didn’t say anything about hard boiled eggs.” 

_...No. No, there is no possible way… I’m probably just too easy to read. _ I thought, brushing off the quite frankly insane possibility that Finn was reading my mind or not human, just like he was in my dreams. 

Those were dreams. This was real life.

***

_ That...was a small, granted fixable, mistake. Up until now I’d been resisting the desire to read her mind. It would have been far too easy to get caught up and confuse the two voices.  _

_ That moment of vulnerability could have cost me. So I did the best thing I could do.  _

_ “That was completely random then,” I laughed awkwardly. “I had this whole line of thought in my head about eggs and how the only type I don’t like are hard-boiled. Kinda feels like I started at the wrong end of the conversation! Wait, I totally did. Good grief... I’m such a dork.” _

*** 

I snickered. “You are. You’re adorkable. Especially when you’re getting all flustered.” I reached out and stroked his head. “It’s cool, I’m just getting you confused with Dream Finn. You can read my mind in my dreams, you know that? I think you also have telekinetic powers. So much for seeing into the future, huh?” 

“And I dislike hard-boiled eggs, too.” I said as I turned my attention back to the eggs. They were done. Any more and the yolk would dry up. “Eggs are ready.” 

*** 

_ “Awesome. Plates are ready for your eggy genius.”  _

_ We joked around and had breakfast together, conversation flowing more easily. I almost despised the fact that we had the rest of the day to get to, our time together passing all too quickly. Once we were ready, I walked her down to the front door.  _

_ “I can drive you home before I head to the office. Nothing urgent to rush off to,” I offered. _

*** 

“Really? Thanks, that’d be nice.” I smiled. “I was going to head back there anyway. Need to make a few more adjustments to the suit. It’s nearly ready. I thought it’d take longer, but it’s actually going far better than I imagined.” 

I hopped into the passenger seat of his car, doing up the seat belt. The whole time he drove, I watched and admired. He made it look so flawless. I’d only had one driving lesson in my entire life and it had gone so disastrously I’d decided it was best for me to never sit behind the wheel again. That and, aside from it costing money I didn’t have, most of the places I went to were within walking distance or easily accessible by bus. I just didn’t need a car.

That being said, when Finn offered, I wasn’t going to refuse.

*** 

_ We pulled up to her house, and I walked her to the front door. “I had a wonderful time last night...and this morning,” I grinned. “Sure you’re not getting tired of seeing my face yet?” _

*** 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I grinned back. “Trust me, if I haven’t when you’re in my dreams, teasing and causing me endless frustration, I  _ never _ will.” 

I hugged Finn. “I had a wonderful time. Remember, we’ve got to see the next meteor shower! I’m going to keep bugging you about that!” 

“Anyway,” I kissed him. “Thanks for the drive back and have a nice day. See you later!” 

*** 

_ “Of course! See you later, lovely.”  _

_ I left her to her day and went about mine. Fortunately, the office was largely quiet, as many had traveled on to the site of the retreat, except for a few instructors, speakers, and Regal. He was tying up a few last-minute ends before taking off, not that he was in a hurry.  _

_ “I’ve taken the liberty of arranging for a couple of upcoming trainees to handle feeding Brock, so no worries there. It’s their punishment for acting out in Charlotte's course. Her idea, not mine. Personally, I think she’s hoping they’ll get eaten,” he confided.  _

_ “Ha! That would certainly be a way to ensure it,” I laughed.  _

_ Regal grinned back, then regarded me for a moment. “How’s Teagan doing?”  _

_ I nodded. “She’s good. Her progress is coming along much better than expected. A few obstacles to overcome, but it’s going stunningly well.”  _

_ “Excellent. I ask because it seems she’s had quite an effect on you. As in, one I haven’t seen since Dean Ambrose. Remember when he nearly tumbled off the cliff a few years back because he was so taken with Renee?”  _

_ “I’m not  _ **_that_ ** _ distracted, old boy,” I smirked, then shrugged a little. “Okay, perhaps a bit. I responded to her inner thoughts about eggs this morning. A minor, easily resolved error.” _

_ He waved me off. “It happens and, as funny as that is, I’m certain you handled it well. On the contrary, I’ve never seen you more focused. You’re sharper, more at ease...happier. She’s good for you. _

_ I pondered his words. He was right, per usual. Instead of outright agreeing with him, I cocked an eyebrow in his direction and ribbed, “I had no idea you were such a romantic, Regal.”  _

_ We had a good laugh and spent a moment in companionable silence, then we went over the surprise I planned for everyone at the retreat - naturally, Regal is in on the joke - and he left a couple of reminders. Outside of that, he implored I take the week off or work at home.  _

_ I said I’d consider it. And if so, I imagined there was plenty to bide my time with. _

*** 

“Milo! Milo stop pulling!” 

After Finn dropped me back home, I got changed into new clothes and headed out again to complete my job of the day: Dog waking. 

I liked animals, so pet sitting and walking people’s dogs while they were away on holiday or out at work was something I was more than happy to do. More often than not, I did it about four times a week, walking three dogs at once. 

Today, it was just the one. Mrs. Brown’s pet, Milo, a tiny yorkshire terrier that literally sounded like a squeaky toy. Adorable, if not full of energy. 

“Mi- Oh shit!” I hissed under my breath as the dog pulled a bit too hard and the lead was yanked from my fingers. Suddenly, Milo was raring off across the park, chasing after birds and God knows what else. 

“Milo, stop! Come back!” I called after him, giving chase. If I lost him or he was attacked by another dog, I’d never forgive myself! 

Thankfully, he didn’t run far. I found him not too long after, in the more deserted part of the park. However, strangely, the little dog stood stock still, growling at...something. Which was unnerving since I’d never once heard him growl at anything from the moment I met him. 

I froze as a familiar chuckle reached my ears. “Afternoon, little lamb. It’s been a while.” 

It was Bray Wyatt. 

***

_ “One more thing,” Regal began as we made it to the main door. “Watch out for Bray Wyatt. He’s not been around here lately, not since his second strike. I fear he’s plotting something.” _

_ “You think he’s planning to come for me?” I inquired. _

_ “Absolutely. He may try to use Teagan to get to you. Be vigilant. You’ve got her branded, correct?”  _

_ “Of course. Bray - or anyone - won’t be able to do anything to her without alerting me.”  _

_ “Good,” Regal nodded. “I know you have things well in hand, my King. But the last thing you need is for that... _ **_pissant_ ** _ to ruin your progress.”  _

_ “Thank you, Regal. This is why you’re my number one. Now go on, and enjoy yourself out there.”  _

_ “Of course, dear boy. Don’t overwhelm yourself,” he smiled.  _

_ “Likewise,” I fired back. As I watched him go, I felt myself bristle at the thought of Bray being anywhere near Teagan.  _

_ He’d better pray I don’t find him first. _

*** 

_ Well, that answers the question of why Milo is growling. _

I’d met the cult leader, Bray Wyatt, more times than I care to admit. And, though he hadn’t ever said or done anything malicious to me, he was not the kind of person I wanted anything to do with. Aside from the fact that he was completely barmy, by his very nature, he was dangerous as he went out of his way to convert those desperate and lonely and gullible enough to believe his nonsense. 

He also wanted me to be one of his followers. 

Picking up the little dog into my arms, I gave a polite nod. “Afternoon. And it has been, hasn’t it?” 

I then made to leave. “Anyway, I’m just walking someone’s dog for them and it’s time to take him back home, so I’ll-” 

“It’s not too late, you know.”

I stopped and turned back to him. “Too late for what?” 

_ Dammit, why does this keep happening? Everytime I try to leave, he draws me right back in!  _

“Salvation.” Bray said simply. “Salvation from the fate that awaits you. I wasn’t lying when I said that I was the only one who can save you. No will else will, certainly not your precious God you follow so devoutly.” He giggled.  “But I can’t do that if you won’t let me, little lamb. If you won’t join my family. Only then will you be under my protection.”

“Protection from _ what? _ ” I demanded, exasperated. “Listen, Mr. Wyatt, I don’t want to join your cult, or ‘family’. I’m perfectly happy with my life, and, despite what you think, I don’t need saving.”

“Oh, you poor, sweet, foolish, little lamb! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!” He suddenly yelled, causing me to jump and Milo to bark at him. “Can’t you see that I’m trying to open your eyes to the lie you’re living? I can save you from this prison, this rotten world. I can show you things beyond your wildest imagination. I can make you into something powerful, man, because, believe me, you ain’t got nothing in this world, if you ain’t got power. But I can also give you so much more. I can give you the family you so crave, I can give you love - I can give you everything because I’m not like the others, man, I’m the Eater of Worlds! Oh, I’m not saying it won’t be hard. I’ll take your hand, just as Abigail took mine, and lead you into the City of Woe, push you into the abyss of Tartarus. You’re going to be hurt real bad - I know, man, I know - but you’ll learn things, amazing things that you never would have learned before, and in that moment of serenity, all the pain will go away. I will take you by the hand and set you free. Don’t you see, little lamb? All you have to do is  _ join me _ .” 

There was silence - save for Milo’s low growling - as Bray waited for my response. 

My answer wasn’t not one he was expecting. “ _ No. _ I don’t want to. As I said, Mr. Wyatt, I like my life. Please, leave me alone.” I said, firmly and slowly because I  _ needed _ him to get it into his head that me becoming a disciple, or whatever it is he had in mind for me, was never going to happen. 

The smile left Bray’s face and, for a second, it darkened to a terrible extent. It sent a chill down my spine and even Milo let out a whimper. 

However, before panic set in and I broke into a run, the smile was back full force. 

He laughed under his breath. “That’s a real shame, man, a real shame. But don’t you worry your pretty little head. I understand, I really do. You are only human, after all, and, as it is well known, all humans are sheep. I now know what needs to be done. I only wish it didn’t have to be this way...” 

Bray stood up and I backed away, scared. However, rather than head in my direction, he went in the opposite, strolling away.

“Until next time, little lamb.” He chuckled sinisterly over his shoulder at me.

The second he was out of my sight, I ran in the other direction as fast as possible, completely shaken up. 

I hoped I never ran into Bray Wyatt again. 

*** 

_ If it wasn’t such a light day, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate.  _

_ Feeling concerned for Teagan, I looked up her number and hit Send. I tried to keep cool.  _

_ After a few seconds, I heard the phone ring… _

*** 

I was just sitting inside Mrs. Brown’s house, waiting to be paid, and with Milo cuddled up on my lap (yorkshire terriers really are the sweetest dogs ever), when I heard my phone ring. 

It was Finn. 

Swiping it right to answer, I held it to my ear. “Hi. What’s up?” 

*** 

_ I was relieved to hear her voice on the other line. “Just checking in to see how your day is going...well, that and there’s literally nothing happening here because almost everyone is gone. So I just wanted to hear your voice.” _

*** 

I exhaled. Like a spell, hearing Finn’s voice made the fear that had gripped me since my meeting with Bray Wyatt disappear. I felt safe, at ease again. I had nothing to fear because I had Finn and he wouldn’t let that psycho touch me, this I knew. 

“It’s going well. Just got back from dog-walking. Had to take this little cutie for a walk. Hold on, I’ll facetime you so you can see him.” 

I pressed the button and waited for it to connect. Once it did, I angled it so that Finn could see Milo and I. “Look, Milo, it’s Finn.” I pointed to the screen. The dog perked up, cocking its little head, but, for the most part, was baffled. I shouldn’t be surprised. It didn’t even recognise its own reflection. 

***

_ “Hi Milo,” I smiled and waved into the camera. The tiny pup looked puzzled but cute. “He’s adorable. I gotta admit, he’s pretty lucky to get to spend time with my favorite girl today.” _

*** 

I laughed. “He gets even more adorable once you hear his bark. He literally sounds like a plush toy!” As if agreeing with me, Milo made a sound then, proving my point. “See?” 

“So, you’re pretty much all alone at work? That’s no fun. Can you at least leave early?” 

*** 

_ I laughed at the little yip the dog made after being squeezed, and her joy at the sound. _

_ I replied,“I could, because there’s nothing to do. In fact, Regal even gave me permission to work from home while they're gone. So I just might clock out in a little while.” _

*** 

_ Finn working from home? I like the sound of this! _

“Definitely do that! And I promise I won’t get in your way while working.” I assured him. 

“Anyway, I should be home in about half an hour. Want me to get anything on the way back?” 

*** 

_ “I was about to ask you the same thing! Great minds,” I grinned. “Nothing I can think of off the top of my head. And you’re fine, I promise. I just figured I’d keep out of your way while you work on your suit, so I’ll behave myself. Mostly.” I winked with a hint of mischief. _

*** 

I snickered before sarcastically commenting.. “Of course you will!” 

Next week would be the first time I’d have Finn around most of the day and I could already foresee it being an interesting one. There was also the added bonus that he wouldn’t have to rush out in the mornings, cutting our breakfast chats short. 

I heard Mrs. Brown call out to me from the kitchen. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later when you arrive home!” 

***

_ “Alright, lovely. See you soon!” _

_ I ended the call, letting go of a breath I didn’t know I held on to.  _

_ It was then I decided to brush up on a few incantations. No taking chances - I have to prepare for every possible trick Bray has up his sleeve. I helped teach him everything he knows, but he has no earthly clue what I know.  _

_ And he will not prevail, or survive. _

*** 

Thankfully, the rest of the day after that passed by uneventfully. With the exception of Finn coming home earlier than he usually would, the two of us did pretty much the same thing we always did. Have dinner, then lounge on the couch, watching TV, and talking. The familiarity it provided was just what I needed to dispel any lingering fears of Bray Wyatt. 

The next day after that, we had a night in. We got some ice cream, ordered pizza, and then watched a ‘so bad it’s good’ movie. In this case, it was  _ The Room _ . We were gleefully taking the piss out of it, while sharing some popcorn between us. 

However, just as we finished it, I put my phone off silent mode and saw that I had over thirty texts from Colleen. And many more from the other group members. Something was wrong. 

I felt my heart fall.  _ Oh God… _   “Something’s gone down with Colleen...” 

*** 

_ This couldn't be good.  _

_ “What’s up?” I asked, not looking forward to the answer. _

***

Steeling myself, I opened up the messages. 

And then found myself regretting I ever did. 

Colleen had had a fight with her boyfriend. Thankfully, it hadn’t turned violent. On the contrary, she left him. He wasn’t the man she thought he was. She deserved better. Etc. Which was a good thing, if not for one huge problem...

Not wasting a second, I hit the phone button, heart pounding in my chest. 

It kept on ringing, and, for a second, I feared she’d never picked up. That I was too late. 

Thankfully, just because it would have gone to answer phone, Colleen answered. “Teagan…I’m surprised you called...” 

“What do you mean you’re going to kill yourself!? Colleen, don’t do that! Please don’t!” 

*** 

_ “Shit.”  _

_ I sat closer to Teagan, motioning for her to put it on speakerphone. _

*** 

Putting it on loudspeaker so Finn could fear, I resumed wringing my hands nervously. 

“I just- I can’t do it anymore, Teagan. I’m so sick of putting my heart out on the line, only to get it broken in the end. Fuck Tariq, fuck the whole lot of them! Fuck everything!” Colleen’s voice was slurred. I feared the worse. “It’s not like anyone cares about me…” 

“That’s not true! Everyone in the support group cares about you a lot!  _ I _ care about you. I don’t want you to die!” 

“No, you don’t! You hate me! And so does your friend,  _ Michael! _ ” She spat out his name. “Last time we spoke, he-he said I was a disgusting person! And he’s right! I am! That’s why all my friends abandoned me after the divorce and why I can’t make any here. I’m all alone. Everyone would be better off if I just disappeared!”

“You’re not all alone. You have me. I’m still your friend. So…so please don’t do it? Just give me your address and I can come round and-and spend some time with you. You’re not thinking straight.” 

“All I wanted was a fun evening, some normality after the shit that came with the divorce.! Why do I even bother?” 

“I’m…I’m sorry…” Tears started to fall from my eyes. I’d never been in this situation before. I felt utterly powerless and scared. 

*** 

_ “Shhhh, hey...Teagan, none of this is your fault. Not at all,” I soothed, holding her close.  _

_ I didn’t appreciate Colleen guilt-tripping Teagan in the least. Nonetheless, I tried a proactive approach. “Colleen, this is Finn. Where are you right now? I can pick you up and get you to a hospital. Teagan will come along and we’ll make sure you get help and somewhere safe.” _

*** 

“...Finn? Why are you… Teagan, am I on speaker?” 

Her voice wasn’t slurred then, and, for a split second, I questioned that. Just as quickly, I brushed it aside. A woman was threatening to kill herself. If I doubted her and she went through with it, I’d have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. 

“You are.” I said, voice tearful. “Fi-Finn heard about you wanting to kill yourself and was worried.” 

“I can’t believe you. I’m literally having a breakdown here and you’re letting your boyfriend listen in!?”

“That’s not true!” I protested, becoming more frustrated by the second. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings. I’m sorry you feel so bad, but suicide is not the answer! Please, Colleen! Tell us where you live, we’ll come get you right now and-”

She interrupted me. “Too late. It’s too late for that. I took a bunch of pills and downed them with alcohol. Shouldn’t be too long now…” 

I looked at Finn with wide eyes.  _ Oh shit! No, no, no…!! _

“Colleen,” I said as calmly as I could manage, “Give us your address. Finn will drive over there, and I’ll call an ambulance. Please!”  

 “......Goodbye, Teagan.” 

And then she hung up. 

Frantically, I began to message back the other group members who’d been trying to contact me and trying desperately to reach Colleen. Did anyone know her home address? Could anyone reach her? We had to do something! (It was times like these I thanked God for the support group. No matter what the time, we were always there for each other when needed.)

Letting out a sound of frustration, I threw my phone down. 

*** 

_ I was seething. Something wasn’t right about any of this.  _

_ I hugged her to me, trying to comfort her as best as I could. Something was still nagging at me as she calmed down. And I know I couldn’t be the only one thinking it…  _

_ “Is it just me...or did her voice sound different after I spoke up?” _

*** 

“Huh?” 

He repeated what he said. “Well...yeah, I noticed that, too. She wasn’t slurring as much.” I saw his expression harden. I knew he was thinking what I’d thought in that split second over the phone. “You don’t think she’s really faking it, do you?” 

*** 

_ “Unfortunately, it’s not unheard of,” I gritted out.  _

_ Then, a thought occurred to me. “She mentioned Michael. He must know about this. Try and get a hold of him, maybe he can help.” _

***

Picking up my phone, I first dialed Colleen. There was no answer. I figured it was worth a try. 

I was just about to call Michael when, speak of the devil, he called me, 

“Hey. I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but the group’s WhatsApp chat is going nuts right now. Colleen has been contacting all of us and going on about how she’s about to kill herself. Bitch is totally lying.” In the background I could hear the music and chatter. He was at a party.  

“You really think she’s lying about this?” I asked in disbelief. I know the two didn’t get along at all, but I didn’t want to think that Michael would let that cloud his judgement. 

“She’s fucking lying through her teeth, Teagan. The whole thing is just a stunt to get sympathy, just like with her abusive ex-husband. I don’t give a shit that the other members are mad at me and think I’m the bad guy for shunning her, I know she’s lying!”

*** 

_ While they talked, I went to get Teagan a glass of water to cool her down. Returning to my seat next to her, I handed her the water and rubbed her back.  _

_ “Michael, hi, this is Finn.” I chimed in. “Sorry we had to meet like this, but, I have to ask, what makes you so sure?” _

_ Despite my calm tone, I was incredibly pissed. _

*** 

“He’s right. Michael, are you absolutely sure? Last time I spoke to her, she was making it out that she didn’t have much time left. I was afraid she might have passed out or worse.” 

“She hasn’t. Trust me.” Michael deadpanned. “Exactly what did she say to you?” 

I looked to Finn. “Just that she’d taken a bunch of pills and downed it with alcohol...”   

Michael laughed scornfully. “Uh-huh? She told me and Andrew that she took ten pills of baby aspirin!  _ Baby. Aspirin! _ Let that sink in for a moment. Do I need to tell you that it’s literally impossible to overdose on that stuff? I told you, Teagan, she keeps changing shit! She lies! She likes to play the victim!” 

I sat back, stunned. “I...I don’t know what to say…” 

“Oh, I have a few suggestions,” Michael said grimly before sighing. “Trust me, Teagan. Colleen will still be with us tomorrow morning. And I’ll shave my head bald if she has actual proof of going to the hospital like a discharge form. I’m not going to be fooled by her act like the others, and neither should you. You try and have a good night, okay? Don’t let that bitch ruin it for you. She’s not worth it.” 

*** __

_ “Thanks again, Michael. Hope to see you in person sometime,” I said before cleaning up our space while Teagan ended her call with Michael.  _

_ Calmly, I returned to Teagan's side. She still looked a bit shaken. “Everything okay, Lovely?” _

***

I stared at my phone. I didn’t want to believe Colleen had seriously lied about her suicide attempt, but...I believed Michael. And I was fuming.

Rather than respond to Finn, I heaved a sigh. “Is it okay if I go to bed early? I just want to lie down, have some time to myself.” 

*** 

_ “Of course.”  _

_ I kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ll finish cleaning up down here, and I’ll join you, okay? Go get some rest.” _

*** 

I gave him a quick kiss back before standing up and heading upstairs to bed. From there, I got changed out of my clothes, and lay down, burying myself under the covers. 

Left to my thoughts, I couldn’t help but worry.

About what I was going to be greeted by come Wednesday, when I went into group therapy. 

And, more importantly...about Bray Wyatt. 


	43. The Special Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for language, sacrilege (of course!), mentions of multiple forms of abuse (including physical, mental, and the implication of the sexual abuse of minors), hurt and comfort, and smut.

It’d been a long time since I suffered from any flashback nightmares, the last being around two months ago when I had that horrid one involving my parents. I’d even started to think that I might be so lucky as to never have such nightmares again (impossible, I know), but I guess my lingering worries over Bray Wyatt had triggered something in me. 

Compared to the others I’ve had, this flashback was downright tame. There was no ‘Mother’s Lessons’ involved, thank god. 

No, this one was more to do with emotional pain. 

It was around the time I was struggling with myself, with these new, scary, yet exciting urges. The day I went and confessed to Father Dougherty about them, to be exact. 

I thought he would understand, would offer me guidance. But he didn’t. He shamed me, called me blasphemous, sick.  _ Bad _ . Reduced me to a sobbing mess, telling me I needed to pray for forgiveness. I then told Caleb. Rinse and repeat. He didn’t take it well. He told my mother and she said the exact same thing as Father Dougherty.  _ Rinse and repeat. _

This was the painful day that led to me going to the doctors and being prescribed the pills to make said urges stop. The start of my downward spiral that would culminate in my suicide attempt. 

I stood outside my old hometown church, by Caleb’s side as he talked with my parents. 

*** 

_ Father Dougherty...would not have been so easy to haul to a nearby closet if another human had been handling him.  _

_ I walked into his office while he was on the phone with a concerned mother about the virtues of forcing her 12-year-old gay son into being straight by way of bullying. Really, it was the height of irony that he, a man of the cloth with a thing for altar boys, would suggest a thing like that.  _

_ And now he was about to ruin a young woman’s life by forcing her into taking medications that she doesn’t need, to please parents (and a scumbag boyfriend) that don’t love her.  _

_ Fuck. That. There’s going to be a change in tonight’s schedule. _

_ Father Dougherty didn’t get a word in edgewise before I put his lights out. _

***

Walking behind Caleb, looking every bit the meek, obedient partner he wanted me to be, I perked up as I overheard some of their conversation. 

Father Dougherty was indisposed. He would not be leading the congregation today. Instead, a new priest who was kind enough to come on short notice would be filling in for him. Father Finn, his name was. 

We entered the church and took our seats in the pews - front row, as always. 

I caught sight of the new priest and felt my heart flutter. Dark hair that contrasted wonderfully with his clear blue eyes. A well-groomed, soft beard, and a smile that exudes boyish charm. He was the youngest priest I’d ever seen, and so handsome it seemed a sin that he’d chosen such a profession. 

My parents weren’t quite so bowled over. 

“He’s young.” My mother remarked, looking over Father Finn with a critical eye. No surprises there. She was the exact same with doctors, dentists, etc. seeing youth as a sign of inexperience. “Too young.” 

My father made a sound of agreement. “Bet he’s one of those new age hippies. See it in a lot in the young ones nowadays. They think they know everything and spread all kinds of rubbish. The whole lot of them should be stripped of their priesthood.” 

Unable to hold my tongue, I said, “I think you should give him a chance-” 

“Teagan,” Caleb interrupted me. He was smiling, but his tone was low and cutting. “If your mother and father wanted your opinion, they would have asked for it.” 

“Ur…” I looked from him to my parents. They sat staring forward with stony expressions, ignoring me, as if I wasn’t even there. 

I looked down, cowed. “...I'm sorry.” 

*** 

_ I cleared my throat as I went through Father Dougherty’s notes.  _ **_Blah blah blah obedience unto God blah blah blah submit to your husbands blah blah blah Catholic guilt bullshit blah._ ** __

_ Nope, not today. _

_ “You know,” I began solemnly, “We make plans every day. For instance, Father Dougherty planned to be here today, faithful as always, delivering his Sunday message. He prepared his notes in advance, he studied up, he made a carefully outlined, well-structured message.”  _

_ Without further preamble, I tossed his sermon notes into the air, to the pearl-clutching surprise of the congregation. Leaning against the pulpit with a smile as the papers fluttered and drifted about, I said, “See that?  _ **_That_ ** _ is how God feels about us making plans. Proverbs warns us in the first verse of chapter 27 not to boast about tomorrow, ‘for you do not know what a day will bring’. A sudden rainstorm washes out a picnic. Someone could die on their birthday...from a surprise-induced heart attack.”  _

_ I looked upon Teagan, locking eyes for a brief moment. “A bride runs away on the day of their wedding.” She looked down before her boyfriend or parents noticed, but the pink tint of her face told me she got the message.  _

_ “Today’s message is about why it’s so important to leave behind your best laid plans and how to trust God in the face of uncertainty. Let’s begin.” _

*** 

It could not be denied, Father Finn had definitely made an impression. 

When he threw Father Dougherty’s notes away without a care, a wave of shock passed through everyone present. The younger generation of the congregation - myself included - was excited. Finally, something new and different! 

The older churchgoers, on the other hand, were scandalised. 

“ _ Outrageous. _ ” My mother scoffed. “A priest should be more dignified.” 

“And he should respect his elders. Father Dougherty has been giving sermons in this town for years. This  _ boy _ doesn’t look like he’s been in the priesthood for even a year.” My father agreed. 

“Don’t worry. You heard Father Murphy, he’s only here for a few days at best.” Caleb soothed them. 

Throughout the sermon, I paid them no heed, my eyes trained on Father Finn. This had to be the most invested I’d been in church since, well,  _ forever _ . How could I not when the one giving the sermons was as charismatic and handsome as he? Which was shameful, but I don’t think I was alone in thinking that.

***

_ If there’s one thing I lived for - nay, reveled in - it was pissing off the old-school crowd. There’s a few in the Old Guard that will tell you the same.  _

_ Upsetting a few old biddies was hardly noteworthy, but seeing Teagan’s parents beside themselves and trying to conceal it? Priceless.  _

_ It didn’t escape my notice, however, the eyes that were upon me. Whether scornful, intrigued, or - particularly in the case of a few men - shameful but titillated, I was nothing like they had seen before. Probably never will again. So why not give them something to remember?  _

_ “I’d like to close with the words God spoke to the prophet Jeremiah: “ _ **_‘I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.’_ ** _ ” Another glance at Teagan’s focused eyes. “ _ **_‘Plans to give you hope, and a future.’_ ** _ ” Glancing away and looking into the face of her parents and boyfriend as well as the whole of the congregation, I said pointedly, “We must stop relying on our own power, our own will, and really listen to God. He wants the best for everyone, and in His eyes, we’re all worthy of His best. Worthy of love, worthy of respect, worthy of acceptance. He just wants to come as we are, and to trust Him and His plans.”  _

_ I returned to the pulpit as some applause went up. “Let us rise for the closing hymn and benediction.”  _

_ The rest went the way you might expect. Tempted though I might have been to change the hymn playing from the organ to AC/DC’s Highway to Hell, I behaved myself. It would have sounded fucking awesome though.  _

_ After the hymn, announcements, and offering, I closed the service. “May the grace of our Lord be with you. May you remain holy and blameless until his return. Go in peace.” _

*** 

My parents were incensed. They’d seen what Father Finn had to offer and they didn’t like it one bit. 

“Father Dougherty better return soon or there’ll be trouble.” My mother said, standing up.  She made her way over to the group of ladies she normally mingled with and who were currently busy tutting and complaining about the new radical priest that had temporarily taken over their church. 

As for my father, he and Caleb watched the group of admirers who were crowding around Father Finn, praising his sermon and welcoming him to the town.

“Would you look at that? See, this right here is what’s wrong with the youth of today. They’ve got no respect - for tradition, for the rules, for anything! All you need to do is dangle something shiny in front of them and they’ll follow like a bunch of sheep.  _ Makes me sick. _ ”

_ They like Father Finn because he’s interesting and makes coming to church fun for once. _ I thought in exasperation, but didn’t say. 

Caleb nodded. “I completely agree. If their parents have any sense, they’ll nip that in the bud before it becomes a problem. The women, especially. They’re incredibly weak-willed and easily led, I’ve found. All it takes to get some to open their legs or turn their back on the Lord is a pretty face or the promise of money.” He sighed. “It’s so hard these days to find one that you can trust to be a good Christian wife who will serve the needs of her husband. It’s one of the reasons why I chose your daughter. You and Abigail did a wonderful job raising her.” 

My father grunted. “It wasn’t easy, but we did the best we could. Personally, I wanted a son, but,” he sighed. “God granted me a daughter.”  _ Could he sound anymore disappointed? _

“Well, with any luck he’ll grant you grandsons in the future. Three of them, at the very least.” 

“Aha, that’s my boy!” My father patted Caleb on the back and the two exited the church, leaving me sitting there, feeling desperately unhappy. 

I entered into a relationship with Caleb to win my parent’s approval, and also because it was expected of me. There were Christian girls who would jump at the chance to marry a man like Caleb, and I did want him to marry me, but…

The life he had planned out  _ terrified _ me. It felt less like a marriage and more like a life of servitude. 

“Teagan.” I looked up to see my mother motioning for me to come to her. “I want to have a word with you.” 

I made my way over to her and she led me away from the rest of the churchgoers who were either speaking with Father Finn or leaving. 

Once we were in a secluded part, far from prying eyes, she slapped me across the face.

*** 

_ I felt like something of a rockstar at the moment, surrounded by the younger, excited churchgoing crowd. Kinda reminded me of when I masqueraded as an actual rockstar for a while, in fact. What a wild time that was. _

_ But I never lost sight of Teagan, not for a second. Excusing myself to the bathroom, which was precisely the area Teagan’s mother took her to, I followed behind. _

_ As soon as I heard the slap, I wanted to split her mother’s head wide open. Instead, I turned the corner and said, “Ah, Teagan Dunn! I thought I’d find you here.”  _

_ I turned a bright smile to her mother as well. “And you must be Abigail. A pleasure to meet you.” _

*** 

Hand on my burning cheek -  _ Why did she slap me? What have I done this time? _ \- I didn’t respond, keeping my head down.  

I thought my mother, despite her disapproval of Father Finn, might feign pleasantries, but she didn’t. Giving him a cold stare, she said, “Yes, well I wish I could say the same for you. Do you mind? My daughter and I are in the middle of a conversation. An important one.” 

*** 

_ “Well, I  _ **_do_ ** _ mind, Abigail. The House of the Lord is no place for your particular brand of... _ **_conversation_ ** _ , if you follow me,” I replied, returning her glare on top of my smile, an indication that I had heard precisely what she had done.  _

_ “And besides that, Father Dougherty asked that I meet privately with Teagan in regards to the situation you discussed. He gave very strict instructions that must be expressed to her alone and, well, I would be remiss in my duty if I did not honor his wishes.” _

*** 

My mother let out a harsh laugh. “Oh, did he now? And I suppose he also instructed you to ignore his notes, too? I’d prefer to wait until Father Dougherty has returned, but, if you wish to speak with my daughter, then by all means. However, you can do so _after_ she and I have finished discussing family matters. Which is, forgive me, ‘father’, none of your business.” 

When Father Finn didn’t leave, her mood worsened. “Fine. Stay and listen for all I care.” 

She turned back to me. “Teagan, I was speaking with Doris and she told me how she spied you spending the whole sermon blushing and fawning over the new priest. Tell me, do you think a man wants a woman with wandering eyes? Who lusts after other men? They don’t. They treat them like the whores and harlots they are. Thank God Caleb didn’t notice! Look at me, Teagan! You listen and you listen well!” My mother’s hands gripped my shoulders. “Finding Caleb is the first thing you’ve done that hasn’t disappointed your father and I. You will never do any better than him. You cannot lose him, do you understand me? If you do, God help you!”

Releasing me, she cast a derisive look at Father Finn than back at me. “Really, Teagan, a man of the cloth. And even if he wasn’t, what makes you think he’d ever be interested in you? A poor excuse for a woman, who’s sick in the head. Oh, I  _ despair _ for you, I really do!” 

With that, she marched out, leaving me standing there, alone with Father Finn. 

*** 

_ Teagan looked so hurt. It made me wonder why I didn’t just smite the bitch where she stood. _

_ Of course...there was something I could do that’s just as satisfying. _

_ “Teagan, wait here for me, alright? I have a quick word to pass on. Will you wait until I return?” She nodded, never raising her eyes to me.  _

_ “Hey,” I said gently, touching two fingers to her chin and lifting her head until she met my eyes. “She’s wrong, you know. Any man, even a man of the cloth, would be lucky to call you his wife. I know I would.”  _

_ With a sincere smile, I walked out and approached Abigail just before she reached her husband and would-be son-in-law. “Excuse me, Abigail! There was one more message I had to pass on for you.”  _

_ She spun on me with a look that could wither gardens. “What is it?” she gritted out.  _

_ Low enough for only her ears, I said, “Father Dougherty said that he looks forward to your upcoming private Wednesday Bible study. Apparently, altar boys are harder to come by these days, so it’s nice to have someone to offer extra ‘input’, as it were.” _

_ She paled, but I wasn’t finished. “Also, it would do you well to stop projecting how you feel about yourself onto your daughter. She’s not horrible like you. And if I could marry, I’d be very proud to have her. And you’d never see her again. You or that abusive buffoon of a husband and the mini-clone you forced on your daughter.”  _

_ And then in a lighter tone that everyone could hear, “God bless you. Enjoy your afternoon.” I left dear Abigail in a state of near-paralysis, stammering her words for a bit before the three made their exit. _

_ With that, I headed back to the hall where Teagan stood, apprehensively waiting. “Hello, sorry to keep you waiting. Would you follow me to the office?” _

***

In the short time Father Finn had left to speak to my mother, I’d made sure to get everything out of my system. It was humiliating enough having him present while my mother berated me, I didn’t want him to see me crying, too (though he probably guessed as much by my reddened eyes when he returned). 

I followed silently behind Father Finn, a little worried about how this meeting was going to go. What had Father Dougherty told him? 

*** 

_ Closing the door of the office, I motioned for Teagan to take a seat while I took the one next to her. This probably threw her off for a moment.  _

_ “I know this is a little...different than what you’re used to with Father Dougherty, but I promise you, I’m only here to help. Now, I’ve heard some things from him concerning you and your family, and I’m troubled. So I’m going to ask you, for a moment, to not see me as your priest, but as a friend, as someone who genuinely cares. Can you do that?”  _

_ Puzzled, but curious, she nodded slowly.  _

_ “Alright. First off...why the hell do they think you need medications?” I asked amicably. _

*** 

It seemed Father Dougherty had told him everything. Wonderful. 

“Because…” I swallowed. “Because I need to make the thoughts and urges I have go away. My mother says they’re bad, that I’m sick. My fiance agrees with her, and I’m pretty sure, if Father Dougherty were here, he’d say the same.” I sighed. “I’ve tried to deal with them myself, but I can’t. So, I need the medication to make them stop for me.” 

*** 

_ I shook my head and sighed. “Forgive my language, Teagan, but that’s complete bullshit.”  _

_ Her eyes went so wide I thought they would pop out from her head. “I say that because I’ve gone over your case, and, quite frankly, there’s nothing wrong with you. Seriously, nothing at all. You’re a normal, red-blooded human being with urges that everyone, regardless of religious beliefs, has. What you feel is completely natural and harmful to no one. Except for those who have been repressed all their lives. They’re so uptight that if you were to stick a piece of coal up their arse, they’d spit out a diamond.” _

_ That got a small laugh out of her. “Ah, so you  _ **_can_ ** _ laugh when they’re not around,” I smiled. “That’s good, it’s a good start. You have a lovely smile. I noticed it during my sermon. It’s just unfortunate that you’re not doing more of it, considering who surrounds you.” _

*** 

I hadn’t expected this. I hadn’t expected Father Finn to be so nice and understanding. He was nowhere near as strict and judgmental as Father Dougherty was. It made me wish he’d take over from him full time. 

“You’re…you’re sure it’s okay?” I asked, still unable to believe my ears. “It’s not a sin? I’m not sick in the head?” 

And then, I felt some doubt. “What did Father Dougherty say? He agreed with you?” 

My parents and Caleb would not accept any of this. They’d disregard anything Father Finn said as nonsense. Father Dougherty, or another veteran priest, was the only person they’d listen to, and I had a feeling they’d be sharing the same views as them. That Father Finn was an exception to the rule. 

*** 

_ “Unfortunately, he doesn’t share my view. Strange that, no matter what verses and research I showed him, he refused to see,” I replied. “Said your parents knew better. But I’m telling you, in my experience, I’ve met so many people, just like you. Despite my appearance, I’ve been doing this for many years, particularly counseling. And the people I’ve helped - they’re dealing with similar issues and mindsets. It’s unfair and illogical, and there are churches that are finally beginning to understand that.” _

_ “But you, dear Teagan, are not sick. Or wrong. Or twisted. You are beautiful, and kind, and sweet. And perfectly human, as God himself made you. You don’t need medication...it’ll only make you feel worse.” _

*** 

_...There are churches that share the same views as Father Finn? Where are these churches? I want to go to one of them. I hate the one here in town. _

I looked down when he started to praise me. I couldn’t recall a time anyone had said I was sweet or beautiful. And that’s because the answer was never. “How can you say all that? You barely even know me.” I whispered. 

***

_ “I can tell.” I sat on the edge of the desk in front of her, and looked down at Teagan kindly. “You’re a good girl, and that’s easy to see. One would have to be a fool not to.” _

*** 

A blush automatically colored my cheeks the second the words “You’re a good girl” were out of Father’s Finn’s mouth. Given what he knew about me, was that intentional, or simply me overthinking it? 

“Th-Thank you.” 

*** 

_ “You’re also adorable when you blush,” I complimented, reaching a hand across to brush her cheek. “Your mother is definitely wrong. I think you’ve got so much to offer. And, if I’m being truthful...if I knew I could, I’d happily take you, and treat you exactly how you should be treated. And praised like the good girl you are.” _

*** 

After hearing that, I just gaped at Father Finn, lost for words. __

_ There’s no way he means that… He’s probably just saying that to make me feel better, because he feels sorry for me.  _

“Erm…thank you.” I said once I was able to talk again. “I-I should go soon...” 

*** 

_ “Of course,” I said lightly. “Before you do though, one more question? Just curious: why do you think I feel sorry for you? Is it so hard to believe you’re wanted or desired?” _

*** 

“How do you know I was thinking that!?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Was I that transparent? “A-And, well, I just assumed. You saw how my mother was talking to me, so I figured you’re just saying all this nice stuff to cheer me up.” 

*** 

_ I shrugged and shook my head. “Not much for wasting words or saying what I don’t mean. And it’s all over your face… I’m willing to bet that if I said I was interested in you, you wouldn’t believe me. Even though I’m entirely sincere.” _

***

“...No, I guess I wouldn’t.” I admitted. My self-esteem was so low it was nonexistent. No point denying it. ‘Thou shalt not lie’ and all. 

“Not that it matters either way, does it? You’re a priest. And I’m engaged.” 

*** 

_ “True. But here’s the thing: you don’t love him because he treats you like one does, well, property. I saw that during service as well,” I explained, voice getting lower. “Tell me honestly if I’m wrong.” _

*** 

Again, I couldn’t lie to him. “No. I don’t. I’m only with him because I hoped it would make my parents love me. And because I figured a life with him is the kind of life I should aspire to. After all, lots of girls my age want to get married and...start a family…” 

I trailed off. It must have been obvious to Father Finn that the thought terrified me. After all, a marriage could be annulled. But children? They were for life. There’d be no going back. 

And, pretending for a second that I even wanted to have kids and was ready for the commitment that came from having them, there was a huge part of me that feared, if I did, I’d end up raising them like how my mother raised me. If that happened, if I turned into my mother, I’d surely kill myself. 

*** 

_ Nodding in understanding, I replied, “If it’s not what you want, you can walk away from all of it. Find your own life, what makes you happy.” _

*** 

“No, I can’t!” I protested. Did he really think it was that easy? “I don’t have anywhere else I can go. I don’t have a job, I don’t have any money. I-I never went to college, I...I have nothing! I’m trapped here!” 

*** 

_ I looked at her carefully, measuring her response. Gently, I told her, “There’s a lot happening outside of your home, away from the punishment and insanity. Life is moving quickly, and it gets crazy, but change is happening. And you shouldn’t fall behind just because everyone else is stuck in the dark ages. It doesn't have to be this way. Not for you.” _

*** 

I looked down, mulling it over. 

Living in this town was depressing. I had no friends, no prospects, and my every movement was spied upon by my mother’s friends. I didn’t desire the future Caleb had in mind for us, and I wasn’t happy living with my parents. I was starting to suspect that, no matter what I did, they’d never be satisfied. There’d never come a day when they suddenly started loving me. 

But, still...what Father Finn was asking of me was too much of a jump to make. 

“If-If I were to say yes, take me away from this life, what would happen? I…I don’t want to run off with you, leave it all behind...and then something happens, like you leave me, and I find myself completely stranded.  What would I do then? I couldn’t come back here, they wouldn’t let me.” 

*** 

_ “You make it sound as though I’d be heartless enough to kick you out on the street at all, for any reason,” I gently refuted. “What I’m offering is a way out, a chance to show you that life can be so much better, so much brighter. You can be yourself and do what you want - pursue a dream, take classes, anything. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll help you find your way, no matter what. I’m merely asking for a chance.” _

***

“I-I’m not saying you would, only that you could.” I defended myself, worried I might have offended him. “I’m just trying to cover all my bases…” 

***

_ She looked unsure. “Although, if it helps…” I confided, “You’re not the only one with those urges.” _

*** 

“...I’m not?” Funny, it sure felt that way. 

*** 

_ I shook my head with a smile. “See, I have them, too. But it’s a little... _ **_different_ ** _ , for me.” _

_ I paused for a moment. “You blush a lot, you know. Whenever I call you a good girl, you blush. I’m guessing you like being told that...so that makes me think you  _ **_must_ ** _ be a good girl.” _

*** 

My cheeks blushed, as if on cue. I looked down, embarrassed. “I-I don’t understand. What do you mean yours is different?” 

_ I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation right now… _

*** 

_ “What I mean is…” I approached carefully.”Much like you’re submissive, I’m Dominant. I like being in control. Like I said, you’re not the only one.” _

*** 

“I...I didn’t know that was even possible.” I murmured, staring wide-eyed at Father Finn. 

A priest who was actually into BDSM? Was this real life or had I stepped into the beginnings of a porno? The thought was so ludicrous, such an oxymoron, that I very nearly fell into hysterics right then and there. 

*** 

_ I chuckled. “I know it seems far-fetched, but it’s true. Not something I announce to everyone either, because it’s not their business. But it’s something I’ve done and enjoyed immensely.” _

_ Funny how we’ve had this conversation more times than I can count and somehow it still never gets old. “Of course, if you need proof…” _

*** 

“Is… Is that allowed? You...you’re a priest...and I’m…” I was regurgitating stuff I’d already said, mainly because I had no idea how to react to everything that was happening, and it still felt forbidden to me. 

*** 

_ “What can I say? I like things that seem forbidden and discordant. And no, it doesn't interfere with my life at all. I keep them separate. But you see what I mean? I have similar urges, yet I'm still a priest and a good person,” I pointed out. “Same goes for you, Teagan. It works if you want it to.” _

*** 

“You...you really think so?” 

If my parents had been here, they’d say everything coming out of Father Finn’s mouth was the height of blasphemy. That he was a heathen masquerading around as a man of the cloth, a devil in disguise. 

But, then again, they didn’t approve of a lot of things, and, if I remember correctly, a lot of the congregation had loved Father Finn today. It was just the older generation that hadn’t. 

“I…I want it to.” 

*** 

_ I studied her closely. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.” _

*** 

“I…I’m thinking, ‘I don’t know what to do. This has never happened before.’” I answered truthfully. 

*** 

_ “First step is always the strangest,” I replied. “Case in point: I’m thinking of doing something right now. There’s something I’m curious about.” _

***

“What’s that?” It’s easier if I let him take the lead, I decided. If he were to leave it up to me, we’d be in this office all day. I was too indecisive and nervous for my own good. 

*** 

_ I started to speak, but at this rate, it was best that I made my intent known. So I pulled her in and, closing my eyes, slid my lips over hers. It was a chaste, but lingering kiss that she slowly eased into.  _

_ I leaned back and looked at her face for a reaction.  _

_ The dazed appearance never got old. _

*** 

_ He kissed me. He  _ **_kissed_ ** _ me.  _ **_He_ ** _ kissed  _ **_me_ ** _. _

I blinked at Father Finn as I slowly tried to process that this was really happening, that I hadn’t stepped into the Twilight Zone. 

Once I did, however, I leaned forward and captured his lips again, this time with more urgency. This was the first time I’d kiss a man and I found I liked it. I liked it a lot.  _ Especially _ with Father Finn. 

*** 

_ Assertive. I liked it.  _

_ I kissed her back with equal fervor, gripping her waist and drawing her in closer. Slipping my fingers into her hair, I tugged back to bury my face in her neck, with nips and kisses along her sensitive skin.  _

_ When I pulled away, I looked her over. Curiosity and want spun in her eyes.  _

_ “Oh, but my child, you have sinned...I must help you atone,” I grinned wickedly. _

*** 

It took a few seconds, but I eventually played along. “Y...yes, Father. Please absolve me. What should I do?” 

*** 

_ An idea formed in my head. The church was completely empty. “Follow me to the altar. Do exactly as I say, and you will be absolved.” _

_ I led the way out of the office. _

*** 

I followed behind, scared, but also excited to see what he had in mind. 

Walking through the deserved church, we made our way down the aisle, Father Finn coming to a stop in front of the altar. 

*** 

_ I turned to face her. In a firm voice, I stated,“Remember, follow my instructions to the letter, and I will absolve you. Will you obey?” _

*** 

“Yes, Father Finn.” I nodded obediently, trying to hide my nerves. 

*** 

_ “Good girl. Now, the first step in absolution is laying your sins bare before me to examine. What brings you to my altar, child?” I licked my lips. _

*** 

Taking a step forward, I hesitated, then answered him. 

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I have been disobedient of my parents and neglectful of my faith. And I have even had lustful thoughts for another man, even though I am to be betrothed to another. In secret, I have had many sinful thoughts, followed my desires and not the Holy Spirit. Please, forgive me. Show me mercy. Save me from the everlasting hellfire.” 

_ Was that too much? I hope that wasn’t too much… _ I wondered, after I was done. 

*** 

_ “Hmmm. Even I’m impressed. Very good.”  _

_ I approached her slowly, stopping just inches away. “Quite a few confessions, child. Tell me...what punishment do you think you deserve?” _

***

“Penance.” I said instantly, because that punishment seemed very fitting given the circumstances. “Is that okay, Father?”

***

_ “It is, my child. Remove all clothing from the waist up, and kneel with your back facing me.” I went to the pulpit and removed a flogger made of soft black leather. The tails were thick enough to snap and be felt, but smooth enough not to hurt much more than a sting or leave marks. _

*** 

With shaking hands, I obeyed, pulling off my beige Sunday dress that I absolutely hated, and then, with that, my bra. 

Now wearing nothing but my white panties, I discarded my clothes on one of the pews and then turned to face away from Father Finn. 

Slowly, I sank to a kneeling position, my hands, still shaking, gripping my kneecaps. 

*** 

_“Very good, child. As penance, you will receive ten lashings in correlation to your sins. You will count aloud,” I instructed as I stroked her back with the tails. She shivered from the touch._ _“Such a good girl, so obedient. Ready, child?”_

*** 

Without turning my head, I nodded. “Yes, Father. I’m ready.” 

The first lashing elicited a gasp, one of shock and pain, from me. That stung a hell of a lot more than I thought it would. 

“One!” I cried out. 

*** 

_ “Good.” I brought it down again, though a bit lighter this time. Leather can be tricky to control. _

*** 

“Two!” 

I hissed through my teeth. This one wasn’t as impactful as the first, but it still stung just as much. The remaining eight seemed so far away at this point.

***

_ “Breathe, Teagan. Breathe through each one. You’re so good.”  _

_ I take another blow, lightening the impact a bit more. Hopefully, this would be more tolerable. _

*** 

I nodded, trying my best to follow his advice. “O-Okay.” 

The third lashing came, lighter again. “Three!”The sting was still painful, but it’s bearable. Shuffling around makes me feel better. Inwardly, I wondered how long until little thin welts started to show on my back? 

*** 

_ “Such a good girl. The pain will help to cleanse and heal you.” Lighter again, I brought the flogger down. _

*** 

“Four!” I flinched slightly, and one of my legs shot up, then straight down onto the ground. 

Exhaling, as Father Finn told me, I felt my eyes start to water, the lingering sting finally catching up to me. 

*** 

_ I knelt before her, noticed the tears welling up.  _

_ Touching her cheek, I check in with her.“I can stop this. Say the word, and it stops here.” _

*** 

Sniffling, I shook my head. “N-No, it’s ok. I can handle it. If I can’t, I’ll let you know. I’ll…” I thought of the best way to alert him if I was done with my ‘atonement’. In the end, I settled on, “I’ll stand up and tell you to stop.” 

*** 

_ “That’s my good girl.” I kissed her forehead. _

_ I came to my feet and made the next four blows lighter but notably felt. _

***

Eight down. Only two left now. 

By this point, the sting radiating from my back was something fierce, and I was rocking back and forth to deal with it. My watery eyes had become full on tears, however it actually felt good crying. Therapeutic, actually. Like I was getting rid of the bad emotions I’d been keeping inside me for so long.  

*** 

_ Two more blows landed. I made them quick and impactful. She called them out with a hint of anguish in her tone.  _

_ I set aside the flogger and quickly collected her from the floor, setting her on my lap as I applied cream to soothe her back.  _

_ “You did so well, my child. You were so good, so obedient.” _

*** 

I tensed up slightly as I felt the cream come into contact with the stinging welts that had formed on my back, but relaxed soon after. After the brief second of pain, there was relief, the cold soothing the heat. 

“Am...am I absolved, Father?” I asked, wiping my eyes. 

*** 

_ “My child, you are almost there. The next stage calls for the edification of the cleansed soul. With punishment comes healing,” I soothed. “Relax in my lap, lean back against me...and clear your mind. Don’t think. Feel. _ ” 

*** 

“Are...are you sure?” He nodded and I relented, shifting until I was lying there in his arms, my head resting on his shoulder. Slowly, but surely my body eased up as I just allowed myself to enjoy the tender moment. 

This was going to take some getting used to. After all, when I was punished by my parents, there was never any kind words or gestures afterwards. Why would this be any different?

I breathed in Father Finn’s scent. It was soothing with a pleasant aftershave accompanying it.

*** 

_ I started at her shoulders, drifting down her arms. “So beautiful,” I whispered under my breath. “Just perfect.”  _

_ Then, along her ribs just enough to be gentle without tickling and making her writhe. I didn’t want that...just yet. I then caressed her soft breasts, covering and fondling them in a way that made her shiver and roll her hips in my lap.  _

_ A quiet groan escaped me, and I ran my thumbs over her  nipples. I love the way she looks when she just lets go. _

*** 

Somehow, I get the impression that things weren’t going to end here. That Father Finn wasn’t done with me just yet. 

I sat up and wound my arms around his neck and his hands continued to dance around my chest. Every so often they would trail up to my neck, pressing in at the most sensitive of places, or tightening a little, almost possessively… 

*** 

_ A hand wandered, skimming along her stomach and her waist, until they found her thighs. Gliding across with light touches, I found they were closed.  _

_ I whispered, “Let me in, my child. I know what I’m doing. I know what you need.” _

*** 

Slowly, hesitantly, I parted my legs for him, giving him easy access. If he were to snake his hand down my pants and touch me now, he’d find I was pretty damn wet. 

“You sure this is okay?” I asked. 

*** 

“ _ Yes. Just... _ **_feel_ ** _.”  _

_ I grazed her inner thighs with teasing, deliberate touches. Not quite touching her core, but enough for her to want me to. _

_ But, the more I ‘accidentally’ brushed my thumb against it over the fabric, I was certain that would happen much sooner than later. _

*** 

Feel. That’s what he said. Well, I was feeling alright, and it was torturing me. 

Biting down on my lip, my fingers gripping Father Finn’s shoulders, a low whine escaped my lips as I wished he would just touch me already. I don’t know how long I could take the teasing little touches here and there. 

“Please…” 

*** 

_ Well...she  _ **_did_ ** _ say please…  _

_ She was so heated, so wet, that just teasing outside of the fabric would have driven her mad. Under normal circumstances, that’d be fun, but this is to make her feel good. This is about her.  _

_ I touched her soft, slick skin directly. The aching bundle of nerves came alive as I grazed it. Her hips circled in pleased, though surprised, response. _

*** 

A low moan escaped me as I felt his thumb fully come into contact with my heat. My body tensed at the feel of his touch and, ever so slightly, I edged further, wanting more of him. 

*** 

_ So responsive…  _

_ Pressed against my palm, I felt her move and rock, chasing the feeling. My fingers teased at her entrance with brushing strokes, just before I slowly, carefully, slipped a finger past her slick folds. _

*** 

I gave a quick gasp, and gripped his shoulders even tighter. I hope I wasn’t hurting him… 

Unable to stop myself, I began pushing down onto his digit, wanting to feel it go deeper inside me. 

***

_ I moved my hand, pumping cautiously inside of her heat. Her grip on my shoulders propelled me forward.  _

_ “That's my good girl, taking it so well.”  _

_ I add another finger, alternating between sliding and hooking both digits inside as she shuddered and whined.  _

_ I put on more pressure, moving faster. She’s so very close, I can feel it… _

*** 

I couldn’t stop moaning, I was enjoying the finger-fucking too much. Add in how bad, but good it all felt - I was being pleasured by a  _ priest _ in a  _ church _ . That had to count as sacrilege - and this was the first time I’d engaged in any sexual activity, and I wouldn’t be lasting long. 

He hooked his two fingers again, this time pushing in particularly hard and that was it for me. 

My body tensed up completely as a final high-pitched moan left me and my fingers gripped the cloth of his garb so hard it was a miracle my nails didn’t break through them.  

*** 

_ I ground myself against her as she fell apart much sooner than I expected.  _

_ But fuck, it was glorious. _

_ I heard her gasp in surprise as my lap pressed against her, discovering I was aroused. The fabric didn;t quite conceal much, thin layer and all. _

*** 

I looked into Father Finn’s eyes, temptation and indecision warring on my face.  _ Should I? Should I not? _

And then I made up my mind.  _ Well, we’ve already gone this far. Why stop now? _

“Fuck me, Father Finn.” I breathed. “Please.” 

*** 

_ I gazed at her, wide eyes and breathing heavily. With a growl in my voice, I directed, “Against the altar. Now.” _

***

Climbing off his lap, I immediately made my way to the altar, not wanting to waste a second longer. By this point, my mind had become completely clouded with my lust with Father Finn and whether this was right or wrong didn’t even factor in anymore. I just didn’t care. 

Hands on the altar, I bent over it. 

*** 

_ In a few strides, I was behind her, cock hard and ready. Teasing with the head sliding along her soaking wet slit, I pushed my way inside, inch by inch, consumed by how tight and warm she felt.  _

_ I didn’t stop until I was fully seated within.  _

_ I pulled her up by her shoulder and, wrapping a loose hand about her neck, I growled, “Beg, my child. Beg me to fuck you.” _

*** 

_ Oh dear God…! _

The feeling of his dick inside me, filling me up… His hand around my throat, and that growl in his voice. Father Finn was going to be my undoing, I knew it. I just couldn’t resist him, it was like he had this spell over me. 

I let out a moan before replying, “Please, Father… Please fuck me. I want you so much, and I’ve been so good. Please, please.” 

*** 

_ Keeping my hold on her, and a nip at her earlobe, I began driving into her, deep and rough, but not brutally so.  _

_ Our moans and pants filled the room, bodies colliding. “Such a good girl. You take my cock so fucking well. I could stay inside you forever.” _

*** 

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop!” I groaned, holding onto the altar for dear life as Father Finn pounded me from behind. I thought it might hurt, but, turns out, if you’re aroused enough, it really doesn’t. Aside from a slight sting, I was feeling nothing but pleasure.

“Ca-Can you never leave? Please?”

***

_ “You want that?” I breathed. “You want me here, taking you against the altar after service, fucking you like this whenever I want? Making you my good girl?” I squeezed at a plush breast, never letting up my pace. _

*** 

“Y-Yeah!” I nodded enthusiastically. “ _ God yes! _ I want you, Father Finn. I’m tired of this life...take me with you. I’ll be so good.” 

*** 

_ “You are... _ **_my_ ** _ good girl. All  _ **_mine_ ** _ ,” I purred as I picked up my pace. I nipped at her neck. “Caleb could never make you feel like this. But I can, as much as you can take.” I pinched her nipple. “You’re so close, aren’t you?” _

*** 

“I’m all yours. Not Caleb’s. Caleb isn’t half the man you are. You’re so beautiful and amazing.” I rambled, saying anything and everything that came to mind. 

I nodded at his question, biting my lip. “Y-Yeah…” 

*** 

_ “Fuck, you’re beautiful. And so good.”  _

_ I drove harder, deeper as she wailed and tightened around my cock. On the edge of her release, I turned her head just enough to kiss her hard, our tongues wrestling and twisting as we approached the edge.  _

_ Then, in her ear, “Time to wake up now, Teagan.”  _

_ And then I sank my teeth into her neck. _


	44. Hidden Beauty

I woke up in bed, lying on my stomach and with my arms splayed out, a position I don’t think I’d ever slept in or woken up in before.

I sighed as I turned over. I wasn’t angry so much as resigned. I’d long since accepted that these dreams weren’t going away. 

...Okay, that’s a lie, I was a little pissed off. Mostly because I  _ knew _ the second I told Finn about my old dream involving a demon priest, it was only a matter of time until I had an almost-sex dream involving him as a man of the cloth, trying to bed me. (Not that I was going to tell him about this. No, no. He’d never let me hear the end of it, and I still had my pride.)

I turned over onto my side to look at him. He looked so peaceful, fast asleep that I couldn’t even be mad because who could be angry at that face?

*** 

_ I could feel her eyes on me. In a sleepy voice, I said, “Take a picture, why don’t you? It’ll last longer.”  _

***

“Maybe I will.” I smiled. “Can’t blame a girl for admiring the man in her life, especially when he’s so handsome.”

***

_ I slowly popped an eye open. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?” _

*** 

The smile froze on my face at the mention of sleep talking.  _ Oh shiiiiiit…  _

“Really?” My voice was higher than usual. “What did I say?” 

***

_ “You don’t do it that often,” I replied easily. “Just...it sounded like a very interesting dream though. Very, um, what’s the word? Therapeutic, I’ll say.” _

_ With a smirk, I scooted closer to her and said in a mostly serious tone, “Anytime you need me to role-play as a priest, just remember: I do have a black cassock in my closet.” _

*** 

“ _ ARGH, GODAMMIT! _ ” I cried, before leaping out of bed and running out of there while Finn laughed his ass off behind me. My face must have been a picture, having flared up with my mortification. 

_ Me and my big mouth. Why the hell did he have to find out?! Why me?? _

_ …...WHY DOES HE HAVE A PRIEST’S OUTFIT!? _

It disturbed me how, despite the fact that it was the height of blasphemy, I found myself liking the idea very much.  _ Too much. _

Slamming the can of coffee down, I prayed that Father Cody would hurry up and get better already. My mind was getting out of control, and I don’t think I could take the temptation any longer. 

*** 

_ I bounced down the stairs, chuckling a bit.  _

_ Coming up behind Teagan, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I'm sorry, lovely. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I know it’s been rough for you, too.” _

 ***

 “You’re not embarrassing me. I embarrass myself.” I grumbled. 

Turning around, I wrapped my arms around him. “Thanks for being so understanding yesterday. I’m amazed you didn’t break something after what Colleen did. I hope she doesn’t cause anymore problems.” 

I didn’t want to see or speak to her again. I’d blocked her number on my phone, so that settled the latter, though the former was still a problem. I was going to have to see her every Wednesday in the support group and I had no way of knowing just what she’d told the other members. I feared the reception I was going to get.  

My heart sank at the possibility that I might have to leave the support group. I’d really come to enjoy it and the people there.

***

_ “It's alright, lovely. Taking care of you is far more important. And anyway, what she did was reprehensible,” I replied, pulling back to kiss her cheek.  _

_ “For that, I’m hoping she gets kicked out of your support group for that trick she pulled. That could have triggered something far worse in someone else...I’m just glad you’re okay, at least. And that you have Michael. It’s good to know you have one friend you can rely on.” _

*** 

“Yeah. I owe Michael an apology. He saw right through her and I didn’t believe him. I thought his dislike of her was making him think the worst of her.” I heaved a sigh. “Makes me wonder if he’s right in thinking she’s lying about her ex-husband…” 

I doubted Colleen would get kicked out of the support group. For that to happen, there needed to be proof of what she’d done. Having a gut feeling or pointing out holes in ones story unfortunately wasn’t going to cut it. 

“I might give Wednesday’s session a miss. We’ll see.” I simply said, handing Finn his mug of coffee. “I just don’t want any drama.” 

*** 

_ I thanked her, then said, “I wouldn’t blame you if you did, but…” I sighed. “Don't let her take that from you. She was completely in the wrong and you shouldn’t miss out on what you need because she’s a raging asshole.”  _

_ I took a sip of my coffee. _

*** 

“I know... Hopefully it won’t come to that” was all I could really say. 

*

I almost chickened out, but I did end up going to the support group the week after. 

...Well, sort of. I showed up...and then I left almost immediately after. 

It was just as I feared. Since the last time we spoke, Colleen had been busy telling the other members all about Friday night and that day she and I spoke after the meeting. And her version clearly didn’t paint me in a good light at all because you could cut the tension with a knife the second I entered the room. 

They felt I’d treated Colleen unfairly. That I should have been as supportive of her as they’d all been of me. They wanted me to apologise. I wasn’t going to be forced to leave if I chose not to, but…well, they didn’t outright say it, but I knew I’d no longer be welcome. 

It wasn’t only me. Michael, too, though he remained defiant that he was in the right and Colleen was playing them all for fools. 

“So, you’re in the doghouse, too? Or, as I like to call it, the only sane people in the room.” He muttered dryly to me as I joined him at the back at the room. The other members were crowding around an emotional Colleen, comforting her. That is when they weren’t giving us the side eye or whispering about us. 

“I shouldn’t have come. I knew this would happen.” I sighed dejectedly back. “I should have just agreed to the stupid double date.” 

“Don’t you put that evil on yourself, Teagan Dunn.” He said dramatically, just like Michael Clarke Duncan had in ‘Talladega Nights’. I know he was trying to cheer me up and it did work somewhat, eliciting a chuckle from me. 

Just as quickly, it disappeared. “Look, this is bad, but that would have been much worse. You give someone like Colleen an inch and they’ll take a mile. And, sooner or later, you’d have said or done something to piss her off and she still would have complained about you to the other members. Who, not going to lie, I’m judging right now. They’ve known us longer than her. They know the kind of people we are, yet they instantly believe her over us? Come on!” 

“Hey, not everyone is on her side.” 

We looked up to see two of the other group members - Andrew and Neerav - in front of us. About the same age as us, Andrew stood out like a sore thumb with his hydrant red hair spiked and styled. Neerav, in comparison, was dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans.

“Don’t know if it helps considering it’s just this idiot and me, but we’ve got your backs.”  

“It does.” I said to Neerav, feeling some relief. 

“I knew I could count on you guys. Thanks for sticking by us, we appreciate it.” Michael slapped their hands. 

“Are you sure about this? I’d hate to see you get dragged into our mess.” I said apologetically. 

They waved off my concern. “Don’t worry about it, we don’t care. She needs to know that not everyone is fooled by her lies.” Andrew reassured me.

“Why do you believe us? We have nothing to back up what we say.” I pointed out.

“We go way back with Michael and this bro has  _ never _ been anything but a standup guy. Plus, Neerav, here, has this amazing ability where he can just tell if you should trust someone or not. And he’s never wrong. It’s like a superpower.” 

“Dude, shut up. I’ll say it, the first day I met her, I got a feeling that something was off. And I can totally see where Michael’s coming from. She’s got a lot to say, but the details are always sketchy and we’re supposed to take her word for it. And as for Teagan giving her the cold shoulder, what the hell? That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“She’s probably just got the wrong end of the stick and is blowing it out of proportion. She does that a lot. Don’t see why you have to make this big public apology. Fucking OTT.” Andrew agreed. 

Catching the eye of one of the other members and Colleen’s accusatory glare, I stood up with a sigh.

I can’t do this. These therapy sessions were supposed to be healing, but right now, I felt vilified. It was just easier to stay away and hope things would die down soon.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m just going to head on home. I’ll see you all next week.” I said apologetically before leaving.

It wasn’t completely bad. Finn was ‘off work’ (well, working from home) the whole week, something we were both taking full advantage of.

By the time the week was over and all his co-workers had returned from the Field Leadership Retreat, I was quite sad to see the regular routine of him getting up early and leaving for work return. 

“I promise I’ll go to my support group this Wednesday.” I reassured him. He’d let the previous week fly, but was adamant I go this week and not let Colleen win.

***

_ “Good. She’s not worth falling back on your progress over,” I asserted.  _

_ Touching her cheek, I sighed as I told her, “Going back to work won’t be the same. I enjoyed being with you all week.” _

***

“Yeah, same.” I touched his hand with my fingers, tracing the skin. “Oh well, there’s always your next holiday.”

“Remember, don’t let any of your co-workers rub it in your face that you didn’t get to go on the Field Leadership Retreat with them. ...That being said, I’ll admit, I’m really curious exactly what they got up to. You think they took pictures?”

***

_ “Nothing you’ll wanna see, I assure you,” I chuckled. “They have an ongoing thing about catching other people naked. It’s kinda funny and a touch disturbing.” _

_ (Mostly because of the blood on their bodies and the various positions they contorted into, but that’s neither here nor there.) _

***

“Seriously? That’s hilarious!” I laughed at the mention of nudity. It seemed even the law firm Finn worked at wasn’t above such tomfoolery.

***

_ “Yeah, but I’m more intrigued to see the reactions to the prank I set up for them. That alone was so worth it,” I grinned. _

***

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What prank? What did you do?”

***

_ “Well, last year a bunch of them made fun of my love of Legos,” I explained. “Suffice it to say that one of their first exercises was a lesson in payback. You’re familiar with the firewalk, right? Where people walk barefoot over a short path of hot coals for initiation or some stupid reason?” _

_ Teagan nodded, unsure of where this was going. _

_ “I set up a Lego-walk for them to walk barefoot over.” I grinned. “And their room pillows had Legos stuffed in them.” _

_ (According to Regal’s account of the incident by email, the majority remarked that a pit of scorpions would have been more merciful. Also, Gallows sent me a pic of he and Anderson flipping the bird after the fact.) _

***

I burst into laughter soon as I heard the cruel and unusual punishment Finn had left for his co-workers. It sounded harmless, but anyone who had accidentally stepped on a piece of LEGO barefoot would tell you that they hurt like a bitch.

“Nicely done. That’ll teach them to make fun of you.” I applauded. “If there’s ever a next time, you should play ‘Everything is Awesome’ on loop. They’ll love that!”

I glanced at the clock - Finn would be leaving any second now.

“So! Since it’s the beginning of the week, what would you like me to bake for you?”

***

_ “Funny you should mention the song...that was playing during the entire exercise. Every single version of the song.” I chuckled. _

_ And to answer the other question, “Your  chocolate chip cookies would be amazing, if you’re up for it. They’re quite popular around the office.” _

***

“They are? That’s nice!” Who’d have thought my baking would go over so well? I was chuffed. “And sure, I’d be happy to. They’re the easiest to make, too.”

***

_ Reluctantly, I went to leave, but I turned back to Teagan when I got to the door. “Hey, there’s a meteor shower tonight. The weather’s going to be nice, and a cloudless sky perfect for viewing. You in?” _

***

A full-on beam came over my face at the mention of meteor shower. I’d been eagerly waiting for this news since that night we’d had our midnight swim. I’d started to lose hope it’d be happening anytime soon as the weather had been a little worse for wear the past two weeks. “Yeah, definitely! I can’t wait!”

***

_ “Awesome. Let me know when you want me to pick you up. The peak showing isn’t until late at night, at about 2am, so I’m making coffee to keep us going. It’ll be worth it though.” _

_ I kissed her and said, “Let me know how your day goes. I’ll see you soon!” _

***

“See you! I’ll probably drop by later with the cookies.” I said as I waved Finn goodbye.

Shutting the door, I returned back to the kitchen with a noticeable skip in my step. Tonight’s meteor shower was the best news I’d had all week and not even the thought of seeing Bray Wyatt or Colleen could spoil that.

“ _ Everything is awesome! _ ” I sang to myself as I put the mugs away into the dishwasher. I couldn’t help it, the song was stuck in my head now.

***

_ Back at work, the bustle was comfortingly familiar. Handshakes, praises, jeers, and bows came from all sides because of the prank, and I was loving all of it. _

_ Regal guffawed. “It was quite a jest, my King - they apparently didn’t think you had it in you! Seems that your reign as the master trickster remains secure.” _

_ I knew a few... _ **_thousand_ ** _ good pranks. No one had bested me yet. _

_ It was nice to be back. _

***

I had just finished the cookies and were leaving them out to cool when I received a text from Michael.

**_How are you? Missed you in the group session last week. :(_ **

Smiling I sent a text back.

_ I’m fine, thanks. I missed you, too. Sorry I left,it was just too uncomfortable. I can’t deal with Colleen right now. _

Michael’s reply stopped me in my tracks.

**_I wouldn’t worry about Colleen. She isn’t going to be a problem anymore. ;)_ **

_ What? Has something happened? Why didn’t you tell me!? _

**_I wanted to! But you said you weren’t feeling too good and wanted to be alone. Plus, what I’ve got to tell you is too good to tell over the phone or by message. It has to be in person, Tea!_ **

**_Are you free today? Can we meet up? I’ll tell you then._ **

With not much to do today, I agreed. I was insanely curious as to what Michael had to tell me.

I was just about to put on my shoes, when I was struck with a worry, one I had been feeling the past two weeks since my run-in with Bray Wyatt. I didn’t want to venture out alone, because I normally encountered him when I did. If I stayed home or went out with someone, I knew I’d be safe, at least.

I sent another text to Michael.

_ Sorry to be a pain, but could you come to my place instead? _

**_Yeah, sure. See you in ten! :)_ **

I put down my mobile and tapped my fingers against the kitchen countertop, lost in thought. _ Maybe I should get some pepper spray or something… _

***

_ After a fairly uneventful day - the first week after the retreat is usually pretty calm as everyone settles into their work - I went grocery shopping for salmon fillets, asparagus, honey, fresh figs - you know, stuff for a romantic evening. _

_ I sent a text to Teagan while at checkout: _

**_Hey lovely! Finished for the day. Everything ok? :)_ **

_ *** _

_ Hey! Everything’s going well. Michael’s just here. He has news for me. Apparently stuff to do with Colleen has gone down during the week. I’ll let you know later when you get home! _

Pocketing my phone, I turned my attention back to Michael. His shoulder-length black hair tied up, he was eyeing up the plate of cookies I’d left out. His hand was edging towards them…

I picked up a spatula and smacked it away. “No! Those are for Finn and his boss!”

“Ow! Come on, there’s  _ tons _ of them! All I want is one!” Michael protested, giving me the puppy dog eyes. When that didn’t work, he said, “Well, at least let me have one as payment. As your defense attorney, I deserve that much!”

“Guh!?” I blurted out in an undignified fashion. “Defense what now? I thought you wanted to be a prosecutor- you know what? Never mind!”

I pointed my spatula at him. “Come on, spill the beans. What’s this big news to do with Colleen?”

Michael grinned. “Karma, that’s what.”

At my puzzled glance, he elaborated. “Okay, so, after the whole fake suicide shit she pulled, I was pretty pissed, but I decided I was going to be the bigger person, let it go. I was more worried about you, to be honest. But then that bitch refused to stop, talking about we were partly to blame for it. How us being there was making her uncomfortable and trying to get us kicked out!”

“ _ What!? _ ” I was incensed how low she would sink. 

“I know, right? Anyway, I decided I was done with her shit and I was NOT going to let her drag your name through the mud, either, especially when you weren’t there to defend yourself. So, I started doing some investigating into her and managed to track down her ex-husband.” He whistled “The things I heard about her. He’s actually a pretty nice guy. How he ended up with her, I’ll never know. Put up all kinds of shit from her for two years. Want to know why they broke up?”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not because Colleen found the courage to finally leave his abusive ass?”

Michael nodded. “Oh yeah. They broke up because she liked to play little mind-games and he finally put his foot down on it. Apparently her favourite was to start an argument out in public then storm off and expect him to follow and fight for her. Well, the night they broke up, she tried that again and he couldn’t take it anymore and told her to fuck right off. What did he say? ‘ _ I don’t have time for your shit. I want a woman I can raise a family with, not someone who wants emotional drama for the sake of it. _ ’ She didn’t take too kindly to that and made out as if he abused her their whole marriage. Took him to the cleaners. Everyone who knew the two knew she was lying, but it still hit him hard.”

“That’s horrible!” I gasped. Suddenly, Colleen’s comment about her old friends choosing her ex over her made a lot more sense.

“Anyway, I’m getting off track here. Her ex let me speak to her old friends and family and I managed to get a ton of evidence that proved how she was nothing but a liar who was doing it all so people would feel sorry for her. I showed it all to the group members and the group leader and...well…” 

He grinned wide. “She’s gone! Colleen was told that she wasn’t welcome anymore and, if she had any decency, she’d apologise. She won’t, because people like her never take responsibility, but what’s important is her true colors have been exposed and she won’t be causing problems anymore. So, you know, don’t feel like you can’t come back.”

I looked down. “You...you went to all that trouble for me?”

I didn’t know much about Colleen, but I did know that she used to live in another state before moving to this town. For Michael to acquire the proof he did, it must have taken him a lot of time, effort, and money.

“Yeah, of course.” Michael said as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re my friend, stupid. I couldn’t stand back and do nothing while she tried to turn the group against you and force you out. And even if you weren’t my friend, I still would have, because you’re one of the nicest people I know and I can’t stand fakeass bitches like her who take advantage of that.” 

He cleaned his glasses before resuming the conversation. “You know, I think I might become a criminal defense lawyer instead. Prosecuting the bad guys is great and all, but I kind of like defending the good guys. Someone’s got to look out for the underdog, right?”

“So…can I have a cookie now?” 

I hugged Michael. “Have as many as you want.”

***

_ Shopping finished, rooftop reserved, prep work done (all in less than an hour, no less), I headed to the house.  _

_ Walking through the door, I saw a tall, fit young man eating cookies and chatting with Teagan. His soul was spotty, but only slightly so. Otherwise, he was a good one. _

_ Pretty easy on the eyes, too. _

_ “Hi...you must be Michael,” I greeted pleasantly. “I'm Finn - great to finally meet you!” _

***

I resisted the urge to snigger as Michael noticeably froze up on the spot at the sight of Finn,  remembering the first time I laid eyes on him.  _ Yeah, me too, Michael. Me too. _

To his credit, he got a hold of himself faster than I did. “He-Hey! Same here! Teagan’s told us - the group, I mean - so much about you.” He went to offer his hand, realised he was holding a cookie, went to eat said cookie, then stopped himself, putting it down, embarrassed. “I was just stopping by to see how Teagan is and just fill her in on the stuff she missed.” 

“Tell Finn what happened with Colleen.” I urged Michael. “Tell him what you did.”

“O-Oh, I can’t do that.” He shook his head, becoming flustered. I don’t know whether it was because it was Finn or he, like me, was the type to become overwhelmed by praise, but, either way, it was still cute.

“No, go on! Tell him! He’ll be so grateful.”

“ _ Teagan. _ ”

“Oh, okay.” I conceded. “I’ll tell Finn later.”

Michael visibly relaxed at that. “Good.”

Checking his phone very quickly, he said apologetically, “I wish I could stay longer, but I’ve got to go.”

***

_ “Yeah, no problem,” I replied with a smile. “You should come hang out with us sometime. A friend of Teagan’s that cares as much as you do is a friend of mine.” _

_ He was about as flustered as Teagan was when we first met. And in a different place and time, I’d have considered it, but he’s a great friend to Teagan, and that’s more than enough for me. _

***

“Yeah. Sure. That sounds nice.” Michael responded, blatantly dazzled by Finn.

Taking mercy on him, I led him to the door so he could make a quick escape. “So, got any plans for tonight?”

“Not really. Unless you consider cooking roast lamb dinner a plan. I don’t know what the hell Ryan was thinking suggesting that. It takes over three hours to prepare!”

“That and you can’t cook.”

Michael gasped in mock outrage. “ _ You’re tearing me apart, Teagan!!  _ Yeah, I watched ‘The Room’, too. See you on Wednesday!” And then over my shoulder. “Bye, Finn! Ni-Nice meeting you!” 

“Yep, I’ll see you! Thanks again, Michael!” I smiled, waving him off.

Shutting the door, I made my face into the kitchen and hugged Finn in greeting. “Welcome back home! I hope you had a nice day!”

“Heh, I think Michael might have a bit of a crush on you.” I snickered.

***

_ “He’s nice, good-looking,” I replied, flattered. “However…”  _

_ I kissed Teagan slow and deliberately. “I’m already very happy with what I’ve found, thank you very much.” _

_ Setting my bag aside, I added, “My day went great. Mostly uneventful, but productive just the same. Although I’m curious now...what was that about Colleen?” _

***

“She’s been banned from the support group.” I smiled,  _ very _ pleased. “Turns out Michael was right all along; she was lying about the abuse by her ex-husband.  Michael got upset because she was trying to make it out that  _ we _ caused her suicide attempt, which never even happened. So he tracked down the ex-husband and a couple of people who knew Colleen before she moved here so he could get proof and expose her. He did, showed it to the others in the group, and that is that. Goodbye, Colleen McKenzie.”

*** 

_ “Wow... that’s actually the best news I’ve heard today,” I smiled. _

_ “That alone is cause for celebration - how do you feel? This means you’re definitely returning to your support group?” _

***

“I’m really touched Michael went to all that effort for me. And, yes, without a doubt. The only reason I wasn’t going to was because of her,” I explained, “but it looks like it all worked out in the end. So yeah, definitely a cause for celebration!”

***

_ “So...we’ve got hours until nightfall,” I pondered aloud. “Anything you’d like to do before then?” _

***

“Hmmm…” I mulled, thinking it over. “Want to go out for a walk? Oooh!” I snapped my fingers as a thought came to me. “It’s still light out and warm outside today. How about I take you to the park I was telling you about? Now, it’s not going to be as nice as that one in Holland, but it’s still pretty nice. Plus, not many people will be there at this time.”

***

_ “Sounds like a plan. Let’s do it!” I said with enthusiasm. “Let me change to some more comfortable clothes, minus dress shoes, and we’ll go from there.” _

_ I ran upstairs to get changed. _

***

While Finn got ready upstairs, I did the same. Thankfully I didn’t need to change my clothes as what I was already wearing was pretty comfortable (can’t get more comfortable than a t-shirt and sweatpants). I only needed to put my shoes on and grab my red raincoat.

***

_ I’d come down in running shoes, jeans, a grey t-shirt and a comfy black hoodie. “Ready to go?” _

***

“Yep!” I grabbed two cookies, one for him and one for me. “Let’s do this!”

After making sure everything was turned off and locked - we’d be spending the night in Finn’s apartment - I shut the door behind us.

“So, want to walk there or go by car?”

***

_ “Let’s ride over. That way we can just head straight to my place after,” I reasoned. “You got everything you need?” _

***

That was a good idea. It made the most sense, plus it was just easier for Finn

“I believe so…” I checked my pockets, just to make sure, then gave him the thumbs up. “Yep, all good to go!”

***

_ “Great, let’s go. It’s definitely a nice evening.” _

_ We hopped in the car, and Tegan navigated us to the park. _

***

Once we were parked, I jumped out and started leading Finn into the main field. Which was a nice sight, but nowhere near as nice as the meadow I had in mind for us. I wanted him to see the flowers.

“So, I recall you saying you knew a few secret places?” I looked at Finn expectantly.

***

_ “Oh yeah,” I grinned knowingly. “Follow me.” _

_ I led her along a hidden path through the woods, just shy of a deer run. After a few minutes of walking, we found it: a small field of alstroemeria flowers and soft grass, enclosed by a perfect circle of trees. It’s one of the most amazing spots in the park, and on Earth...the result of a little project Bayley worked on. _

_ “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” _

***

Stunned, I walked forward, my eyes taking in the beautiful meadow before me. I thought the field I was taking Finn to was beautiful, but this trumped it.

“ _ How  _ did I not know about this place?” I gasped to Finn.

***

_ I beamed at her reaction. “Because no one’s meant to know about it yet - it’s not finished, you see. It probably won’t be open to the public for a while, at least until they put in a gazebo for weddings and things like that. But there’s no harm in sitting here and taking it all in, is there?” _

_ (Which is true. Ever the hopeful romantic, Bayley wanted to create a small hideaway in the park for people to find sanctuary, beauty, peace, inspiration, or even fall in love. She’s still having a hard time choosing the right gazebo, though. Too many ideas, she told me.) _

***

“Oh, a gazebo would be magical,” I commented, still admiring the little hideaway, decorated so prettily with flowers.

I took a seat on the grass.“How did you find out about this?”

***

_ “I know the landscaper behind it,” I replied. “When she found it, it was a mess of fallen and splintered tree logs after that terrible thunderstorm last year.”  _

_ (Steph was having a temper tantrum. Over what is still a mystery to this day. Probably for the best since it doesn’t take much to set her off.)  _

_ “So she got help clearing it, restored the grass and added alstroemeria plants. It’s a passion project. She loves making places beautiful.” _

***

“I can definitely relate.” After all, I was the exact same with houses. “If you meet her anytime soon, please give her my compliments. It’s absolutely beautiful. Anyone would love to get married here.”

The idyllic setting was made all the magical by the red sunset in the sky. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of it.

***

_ “I certainly will! I think she’d like to know her work is appreciated,” I said as I surveyed the space. Walking to the direct center of the meadow, I took a seat. If I didn’t have an appreciation for nature, I’d be nauseated at how overly saccharine the scene was, but it really was quite peaceful. _

_ Teagan came to join me, sitting next to me and seeing the change in perspective. _

***

The two of us sat there in silence for a bit, just appreciating how peaceful and serene this secret hideaway in the park was. I couldn’t believe it had escaped my notice for so long, but, boy, was I glad Finn had shown it to me.

“Some lavender would go great with this place…” I mused out loud.

I reached out and placed my hand over Finn’s, stroking it with my thumb. “You know I really care about you, right? Like, you don’t ever find yourself thinking that you like me more than I like you...do you?”

***

_ I looked up at her with mild curiosity. “Of course not. I know you care, lovely. I never need to question how much because it shows in everything you do.” _

_ Turning my hand upward to interlace our fingers together, I asked, “Do you not feel like you do enough to show it? Because you do, you know.” _

***

“Yeah? That’s a relief… It’s not that I don’t, so much as sometimes I find myself worrying over the little things. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever called you a term of endearment. Not ‘honey’, ‘darling’, or ‘sweetheart’ like other women do with their partners. And, it’s not because I don’t care, honestly. It’s just…I  _ tried _ to say it once, but I don’t know, it just felt too put-on for me. So, I figured I’d stick to calling you my Special, my Sunshine, saying something in Gaelic, and leaving it for the really important occasions.”

I continued on. “It’s like the marriage thing. I really don’t mind if it never happens. Colleen was horrified and, well, it just got me thinking.” I turned to him. “I’m not the way I am about marriage because I don’t care. I’m like that because, to me, I don’t feel like we need a piece of paper to validate our relationship. That and I don’t want you ever feel like you HAVE to. If we ever get married, I want it to be because we’re both ready and the time is right.”

I sighed, feeling better that I’d gotten all that off my chest. “Am I making sense?”

***

_ “You make perfect sense. Look, I’ve never been in a hurry to get married. It’s just not something one should rush into without question. I want it to be the right thing at the right time, just like you. And as far as the endearments go, I don’t mind what we have at all. I mean, you’re my Special, my lovely, my favorite girl...and sometimes I just really like saying you’re mine. Or that I’m yours. Either way, it makes me happy.  _ **_You_ ** _ make me happy, Teagan. That’s what counts.” _

***

“Yeah! Exactly!” I exclaimed, relieved Finn had understood what I was trying to say. “Honestly, you should just ignore me. I get too caught up in what other people think and the expectations society has, it’s just really stupid.” I shook my head, scoffing.

There were no doubt women out there who’d think me heartless or weird because I wasn’t in a rush or not ‘dropping hints’ to Finn to propose already, but I didn’t care. I was perfectly happy where my relationship currently was. If Finn and I ever did tie the knot, I imagine it’d be less us taking the next big step, and more just us wanting official confirmation of what we had, if only to shut up the naysayers. 

...At least that’s how I saw it.

“Just so you know, I promise I wouldn’t turn into one of those bridezillas.” I giggled then. “That’s not me. I don’t know about you, but I’d want it to be as laid-back as possible. Really, even if you were to take me to Vegas at the last minute, I wouldn’t care. I’d still be the happiest girl in the world because I’m marrying you.”

It was a sentiment not shared by many, I’m sure, but whatever. I’d seen how unreasonable and downright crazy some brides became over the wedding and all it did was put me off.

***

_ “I know that,” I grinned. “You’d still be the most beautiful bride. And I’d be a lucky bastard to take you as my wife.” _

_ A ceremony that was small, intimate, simple, and our own? I could see that. And it wasn’t at all a harrowing thought. It was pleasant and warming. _

_ Gallows and Anderson would probably kick my ass...or help plan the bachelor party. Or both. _

***

A wedding might never happen - who knew? I didn’t know what the future held in store for Finn and I - but it was a very pleasant thought nonetheless.

“Well, like I said, it’ll happen when it happens.”

I leaned back until I was lying on my back, staring up at the darkening sky. The sunset had fully gone down by this point, the rest now turning a dark blue.

***

_ I sat in peace under the sky with Teagan, just taking everything about our moment in. Companionable silence is highly underrated. The feeling of being together without having to say a word...it’s oddly soothing. _

_ I checked the time and noticed it was getting closer to dinner. “You hungry? I’ve got dinner prepared to cook back at my place and we can kinda set up camp on the rooftop afterwards?” _

***

I was. Despite being in all day, I’d forgotten entirely about lunch, caught up in the news Michael had to tell me about Colleen. “Yeah, I am. Let’s head over there now.”

Standing up, I took one last look at the meadow - which, admittedly, was hard to appreciate as it was so dark now. I pledged to return here at some point in the future, if that was permitted. It could be my little safe place to retire to during when the weather was especially pleasant.

“So, what have you got planned for tonight, Chef Bálor?” I asked as we walked back to his car.

***

_ I grinned, and effected a silly posh accent. “I’m glad you asked! It’s pretty simple tonight: lemon-pepper salmon fillets, risotto, and steamed asparagus. And honey-drizzled figs for dessert.” _

_ Returning to my normal voice, “I was feeling classy tonight,” I joked. _

_ Dinner wouldn’t take long to cook - all of 30 minutes since prep was already done. So we were moving right along. _

***

I whistled. “Risotto? Colour me impressed! I tried to cook it once and  _ completely  _ ballsed it up. It just turned into this stodgy mess. I mean, it was still edible, but it was not risotto.”

Hopping in the car, I sat back and enjoyed the feeling of the cool summer wind blowing in my hair, as well as the quick but skilled space Finn drove at. I never felt unsafe in the car when he was driving.

“Was it hard?” I asked. “Getting your driver’s license, I mean?”

***

_ “It’s a little intimidating at first. You’re in control of a hulking machine that you can get into trouble with pretty easily, so they have to make sure you know what you’re doing,” I said honestly. “But it’s not so bad, once you prove you can pay attention to everything. It’s also freeing. Not having to rely on someone else’s schedule, not having to worry about public transportation going wrong or a change in the route, being free to come and go as you please, wherever you want.” _

_ I glanced her way when we got to a red light. “Wanna learn?” _

***

That was one of the upsides of knowing how to drive, definitely. A big upside, actually. And, I wouldn’t lie, there were days I found myself wishing I could drive.

However, for every pro Finn pointed out, there was also a con.

“Sometimes, but then I remember how my first driving lesson went and I change my mind. I almost reversed the car into oncoming traffic because I panicked so much. The driving instructor looked as if they were about to pass out.” I laughed self-deprecatingly. “There’s a lot of other things that put me off, too. The road rage you hear about, how expensive lessons are, how buying and owning a car is even more expensive. Plus, the most important fact of all: I don’t really need it. Everything is in such a short distance to me, it’d be a waste. Bad for the environment, too.”

“I’ll stick to walking.” I settled on. “Less hassle and it’s a good way to stay fit and healthy.”

I felt my excitement rise as Finn’s apartment came into view. Mainly because I really couldn’t wait for the meteor shower tonight, but also because I was getting pretty hungry and the dinner he had planned sounded wonderful.

***

_ “Okay, but if you ever want a lesson, let me know,” I offered. “I’m a pretty patient instructor.” _

***

“That’s really decent of you. I’ll keep it in mind.” It would probably never happen, but it was nice to know I had Finn offering lessons all the same “I think, for now, I’ll stick with having you as an Irish-Gaelic teacher. At least with those lessons, I don’t risk killing you.”

***

_ Once we’d parked, we headed upstairs to my place. “Go ahead and get settled and cozy. I've already prepped, so dinner won’t take long. Can I bring you something to drink?” _

***

I took a seat on the couch, watching, one hand on my chin, as he pottered about. “I’m cool, thanks. Sure you don’t need any help, Chef?”

***

_ “I just gotta toss things in the oven and on the stove. You just sit back and relax, and I’ll join you in a moment,” I said with a smile. _

_ I preheated the oven, and from the fridge I pulled out a wood plank with two large pinkish-red fillets topped with a lemon-pepper marinade. There was also a half-size cookie sheet with four balls of risotto, about the size of a child's fist. Once I finished rinsing the asparagus and preparing the steamer, the oven was ready. The risotto and fish went on different racks and would finish at the same time, right along with the slow-steaming asparagus. _

_ After pulling down plates and glasses, I sat next to Teagan. “So...what can I do to keep you amused? Dinner won’t be done for another twenty minutes.” _

***

I thought it over and then said, “Could you tell me more about your life? There’s still so much I feel like I don’t know. Like, your friends - Anderson and Gallows, was it? - how did you meet them? Was it when you started work at the law firm?”

“Oh and Mr. Yankem. What’s the deal there? He works at the law firm, but he’s also a writer? Doesn’t seem like he likes job very much.” I giggled.

***

_ “That’s...quite a bit,” I laughed. “But okay, let’s see. I met the guys while doing business in Japan for a while. Anderson’s was at a gym. He didn't seem to like me at first. In fact, he’ll probably tell you that he saw my abs and was like, ‘Fuck that guy!’” _

_ *** _

I laughed when I heard Anderson had disliked Finn for the pettiest of reasons at first. “Well, you can’t blame him. You do have an amazing body.” God-like, is one word I’d use, but I’d be too embarrassed to say it out loud.

_ *** _

_ “Took a good while for him to warm up to me, but we got to be pretty cool. Gallows came around during that time and we all just became thick as thieves. I had to return to the States, but we kept in touch. They moved to my neck of the woods and came to work for the firm.” _

_ (Of course, that’s totally leaving out the fact that they both met horrible fates in Japan - an underground hardcore wrestling match that involved bombs, for some reason - and became full-fledged demons. Good times.) _

_ “As for Issac, he’s very...private.” Seemed an appropriate summary. “The epitome of the reclusive writer. He handles our more extreme cases when they come, but he busies himself with his writing in the meantime. He loves his job. Hates having to be around people though, unless he has to be, but he’s okay with me and Regal. And, the way I understand it, you too. You gave him some pretty good ideas, which is rare for him, and he appreciates that.” _

***

When it got to Issac, my smile turned slightly nervous, remembering the creepy grin he’d given me. He was a little scary, I found. I wouldn’t want to ever get on his bad side. “Really? Oh, that was nothing, really. If he ever needs any more ideas, I’d be happy to lend a help, though.”

“Okay, another question... Ooh! What were you like at school? I totally imagine you as this really sweet student who was popular with everyone and all the girls wanted to date. The one that even the popular kids really liked. Am I right?”

***

_ “Oh, I was a little shit,” I replied in amusement. “Nah, only joking. I was actually pretty quiet most of the time, but as I got older and started coming out of my shell a little, I became known as something of a goofball. I liked to be silly and joke around, pull a few pranks. I had fun. I mean, I wasn’t on the Most Wanted List or anything bad, but I was infamous.  _

_ “As far as dating, I did a little here and there. In most cases, we ended up becoming good friends. Even met a guy I liked during that time. Didn’t think it was a huge deal at all because he was sweet, cute, and all that. We didn’t go further than a couple dates, but he was a great friend and I appreciated that. We were discreet about it. But our little town didn’t care about things like that anyway, so it wasn’t something to get in a tizzy over. It just was. But people still give me the funniest looks when I tell them that.” _

_ (That’s not to mention the many others I’d been with after taking the throne, regardless of gender or identity, but...baby steps. Demons don’t honestly care about things like that, so long as we can devour and torment the worst of them.) _

***

I nodded along, fascinated. It was a bit different from what I’d pictured, and yet, it fit so well. As for Finn’s reveal that he dated a guy in high school, I wasn’t surprised, not after the comment he’d made regarding Michael.

“It’s because a lot of people don’t believe bisexuality is a real thing, not even some in the LGBT community.” I pointed out. “It’s crazy, but a lot of people think you either like men or you like women. If you say you like both, then you’re either experimenting, or need to make up your mind already. And that’s not even going into how it’s used against the person. Apparently, being bi means you’re less likely to be faithful or you’re an attention-seeker.”

“Oh, and just so you know, I’m totally okay with it. I don’t feel threatened like some men and women would be.”

***

_ “That’s good. I’ve never considered it a matter of gender, or even how someone identified themselves. I just consider the person and ask things like: are they the type worth giving my time and energy to? Are they worth knowing? What draws me to them? If I can’t honestly answer those thoughts in my head, I move on. And society is strange - everything has to be one or the other, or people get confused and upset. Never made sense to me.” _

_ I turned to her. “That’s why I like you so much. You are precisely who you are. Even when you’re still learning who you are.” _

***

“You’re too nice.” I smiled, looking down. “I just try to live my life being a good person and treat everyone how I want to be treated. I sometimes think the world would be a lot simpler if people did the same rather than follow all these rules. Not that they’re bad, but I think there are too many who misinterpret and twist them.”

“And I won’t bother telling you what I was like in high school. Mainly because there’s nothing to tell. I was a complete outcast, I don’t think anyone even knew I existed half the time.” I shrugged. “Pretty boring, I know.”

I had more questions, but dinner would be ready any minute now. And it wasn’t like Finn was going anywhere.

***

_ “I think I would have liked you in high school,” I told her sincerely. “I think we would have been inseparable then.” _

***

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. “Really? I mean,” I looked down again. “I always figured I wouldn’t have shown up on your radar.”

***

_ “Nah. I wasn’t much for the superficial at all, which was mostly what the popular kids were on. But…I think I would have loved being in your company.” _

***

I smiled, touched. It was hard to say how much was true and how much was Finn’s feelings clouding his perspective, but I chose to believe him. “Same. We could have set up a LEGO club or something.”

“Any questions for me before we have dinner?” I asked. It seemed only fair.

***

_ “Actually, I was just thinking of kissing you,” I replied softly. “Been thinking of it all day.” _

***

“Oh.” A slight blush coming to my cheeks, I smiled. “Well, s-sure. I’m always up for that.”

***

_ I closed in to kiss her when… _

**_Beep! Beep! Beeeeeep!_ **

_ I scoffed and made a face. “Guess that’ll have to wait.”  _

_ Kissing her on the nose, I hopped off the couch to get to the kitchen. _


	45. A Late-Night Sky Show

I giggled.  _Worst timing ever!_   

“Don't worry, we have the whole night!” I called after him. 

***

_We did, didn’t we? I grinned to myself._

_I pulled out the hot wooden plank first, then the cookie sheet. The fillets were perfectly tender and the risotto was hot. Asparagus just needed butter and salt, and we were good to go._

_I started arranging the finished food on the dishes. “Teagan, would you be awesome and get drinks poured? There’s just about everything in there, so take your pick.”_

***

“Right, Chef!” I did a quick salute before making my way to the fridge to see what drinks Finn had to offer. And, just as he said, I was really spoilt for choice.

“How’d you feel about Bailey’s?” I asked. For me, it was one of the few alcoholic drinks I liked.

***

_“I like your thinking. Let’s do that.”_

_Plates ready, I set them at the table with our silverware while she brought our drinks._

_“Dinner is served, miss,” I said in an incredibly fake but funny posh butler’s accent._

***

I put down two glass tumblers and poured the Bailey’s into them before leaving it in the middle of the table in case we wanted anymore. The dinner looked exquisite. I was always a fan of salmon, but risotto balls? Amazing. 

“Did you make the risotto yourself?” I asked.

*** 

_“I did,” I confirmed. “Quick and dirty recipe though, nothing crazy. I really just wanted it to be an enjoyable night all around, so I kept everything simple.”_

_(...by a supernatural being’s standards, anyway.)_

***

A look of incredulousness on my face, I pointed my knife at Finn. “Risotto is  _not_  quick and dirty! It is not simple! It’s a pain in the ass to make and I’m very jealous and impressed right now!” Cutting one in half, I took a bite and made a sound of appreciation. “So good!”

“Ever tried cooking salmon before with soy sauce? If you’re interested, I’ve found a recipe you might like.” I asked as I sampled the fish.  _Delicious, as always._

***

_“I haven’t yet, so I’d definitely like to try it.”_

_I laughed about the risotto. “It’s not that bad! It took me some practice, but it can be quick once you get it right. And there’s some quicker recipes out there. For now, I’m just glad you like it.”_

_We finished our meals over idle conversation and the light buzz of the Irish cream we sipped from. Teagan lent a hand with cleanup afterwards, though all that had to be done was to load the dishwasher and wipe down the surfaces._

_Cleaning done and with time to kill, we sat with cups of coffee and relaxed on the couch._

_“So...what’s in that inquisitive mind of yours?”_

***

“Well, I’m wondering if this coffee is as strong as you say it is.” I responded, blowing into it so it would cool down quicker.

***

_“Oh, it’s pretty potent stuff. But it’s also really smooth. Hope you like the mocha almond fudge creamer I added to it.”_

***

And then, hesitantly, “I’m also thinking...since we both like the same kink...maybe we should discuss what we like, and what our limits are? I mean, we already know we like the same things, but it’d still be good to know, right? ...Or is it too soon…?”

***

_I took a sip before addressing the second question. “And no, I don’t think it's too soon. It’s good to discuss these things in advance. As long as you’re comfortable, I’m all ears.”_

***

I took a quick sip as Finn did and made a face.  _Oh yeah, definitely strong._  But, the undertone of almond fudge was delightful.

“Okay…” I said as Finn gave the go ahead. “Can you go first? You know far more about it than I do.”

***

_“Of course. Let’s see…first thing to consider is, since we have the same kink in common, is determining what intrigues you about it. Like, why it appeals to you and what parts turn you on the most, that kind of thing.”_

_I turned so that I was stretched out across the couch, my head resting in her lap. “For me, it’s about...that feeling of owning someone’s experience, if that makes sense? Knowing they let me control their world and everything they feel. I can be harsh and cruel, or teasing and playful, or just plain wicked, but all of it is pleasurable. What really gets me is...that I’m being trusted to take care of them on that journey. There’s a power in that...it’s so_ **_addictive_ ** _. And to be the one to ease them down to earth again when it’s over.”_

***

My hand stroking his brown hair, I answered as best as I could. “For me...I find fulfillment in handing over complete control and being dominated. I don’t have to worry about responsibilities or anything else. They’re out of sight, out of mind. All that matters is my Master and making them as happy as they can be. It’s...hard to explain, but I find it liberating, if that makes sense? It makes me feel safe and gives me peace of mind. I don’t mind if it gets rough or mean. If anything, it turns me on just as much as when it’s caring and gentle. I like the two contrasts, there’s something...intoxicating about it.”

I then laughed nervously. “Heh, I’m speaking a load of nonsense…”

***

_“No, you’re not. It makes perfect sense. Did you forget who you’re with?” I chuckled. “I completely understand what you mean. And I’m curious...you said ‘Master’ earlier. Is that something you’re into as well?”_

***

I nodded. “Whatever works, really, but, yeah, I think I like ‘Master’ the most. It represents complete subjugation, doesn’t it? I’m not saying I don’t like ‘Sir’ - I do - but...it’s not the same as ‘Master’, is it?”

My hand continued to stroke his hair idly. It was so soft. “Are you? Or are you strictly a ‘Sir’ kind of Dom?”

***

_“Well... I think a Master, or even a Mistress, is someone who has, well,_ **_mastered_ ** _themselves. They know themselves completely, are secure in their approach, can treat their submissive with the utmost respect to their limits, and can admit when they need help themselves. It’s something you earn. To have a submissive call you Master is...to me, it feels like something of an honor. I’m partial to Sir only because I’m not pompous enough to call myself Master without earning it. That, I think, is for the submissive to determine.” I raised a hand to touch her cheek._

***

“I definitely trust you.” I whispered, resting my hand on his. “I just know I can. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have even broached the subject with you.”

“Can…can I call you Master? You don’t have to call yourself one, but can I?”

***

_“You can call me whatever you want,” I replied, almost certain my heart stopped beating for a moment at her question._

_“I…” I cleared my throat. “Thank you for trusting me.” That wasn’t what I intended - the words fell from my lips so easily. But it’s what I felt._

_“It’s funny. We haven’t even gotten to that stage and you’re calling me Master already. ...Is Dream Me really_ **_that_ ** _good?” I joked lightly, to lift the gravity of the moment a bit._

***

I laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, kind of.” 

Which Dream Finn did I even begin at? Father Finn? Or just plain Bálor, who was Finn, only a demon and so arrogant it was infuriating sometimes? “I know it doesn’t count, but, still.”

“But, you know, even if I didn’t have Dream You influencing me a little, I’d still call you that. Like I said, it just feels right to me.”

I then moved onto the next topic. “How do you feel about bondage & discipline?”

***

_A wolfish grin spread across my face. “Two of my favorite things. Ropes, straps, cuffs, bondage tape, you name it... Personally, I love mental bondage just as much as the physical. As for discipline, I’m not above paddles, floggers, riding crops, but I like to be hands-on.”_

***

“I like bondage, too.” I smiled, pleased. “I love the intricacies involved. Have you heard of kinbaku? It’s Japanese bondage and I think it’s just fascinating. I like being bound and completely at the mercy of the Dom, but I also get a lot of enjoyment out of the actual binding, too. 

“And, as far as discipline goes, I really don’t mind. ...Except for anything involving electricity, fire, or water. The thought freaks me out because, you know, my mother used them as punishments when I was a kid. ...That’s...that’s not a problem, is it?”

***

_“Of course not,” I assured, touching her arm. “That’s no problem. I've done things with those elements but they’re not necessary. The most I’d consider with you is candle wax play - dripping different colors of warm wax on your body until you're a work of moving, writhing art. It’s fun and, with the right stuff, an incredible feeling. Fortunately, I know a_ **_lot_ ** _of fun things to do without involving fire, water, or electricity.”_

***

I relaxed. “Okay, good. Wax play sounds fun, I’m definitely willing to give that a try. And I’m not saying I wouldn’t trust you if you did want to do stuff involving fire, water, or electricity, because I would. I just don’t trust myself. It took me the longest time to get used to having a bath and not just a shower because of what my mother did. It’s like...I like the idea of being slapped by the Dom, but, if it were to actually happen? I might freak out because it’d remind me too much of my mother slapping me.” I sighed. “It’s a pain, I know.”

“Oh...I forgot to ask: What is mental bondage exactly?”

***

_“Well first, it’s good you told me what you absolutely won’t do up front. Those are hard limits, which means I won’t touch on anything involving them unless you decide you’re ready to. Especially the slapping. So no worries, that’s what all this is for.”_

_“And mental bondage? That’s easy...want a demonstration?” I smiled wickedly._

***

“We can always try slapping as a tester? Like I said, I do like the idea of it. Electricity, fire, or water are definitely hard limits, though. Oh, and same for locking me in enclosed spaces. I don’t mean rooms, but, like, cages.”

At Finn’s question, I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Okay, sure…”

***

_“Alright…”_

_I let my voice harden a bit, and take a darker tone. “Hands over your head._ **_Now_ ** _.”_

***

Eyes widening a little -  _Damn, he’s exactly like how he is in my dreams…_  - I immediately did as he said, interlocking my hands behind my head as if I was being pulled over by the police. “O-Okay.”

***

_I stared up at her. “Good. Keep them there until I say to let go.”_

_After bringing myself to sitting position next to her, I raised a hand to touch her stomach, thumb stroking over the fabric. “This is just one kind of mental bondage. I do everything I want and you’re not allowed to touch, just like if you were physically tied up. Here’s the catch: you have to restrain_ **_yourself_ ** _without help from cuffs or ropes. So if I wanted to, say, kiss your stomach... I can. And you’ll let me. Restrain yourself for a long as I desire, and you’ll be rewarded. If not, well…”_

***

“Well, what?” I asked, my hands still behind my head. I really wanted to rest them, but he had said to keep them there until he said so. “How would you punish me?” I already knew that’s what he’d do. It was the opposite of reward, after all.

***

_“Maybe I’ll tease you so badly, you’ll want release...but you won’t get it. Maybe I’ll give you a spanking. Depends on my mood. But now that I think about it…”_

_I picked up the hem of her shirt, lowering my head, and placed a lingering kiss just over her belly button. And three more in random spots before sitting back up. “I just really wanted to do that,” I smirked. “You can put your arms down. It’s easier to maintain that particular bond lying in bed.”_

***

Grateful, I lowered my hands back down to my side. Probably for the best Finn had stopped there. I was ticklish round the stomach, so if he’d kept it up, I surely would have ended up failing and having to punished.

“Thanks for the demonstration. Now that I know what mental bondage is, I definitely like it. In a way, it’s tougher and meaner than physical.” I laughed.

“Okay, so, that brings us to sadism and masochism. What are your thoughts on that?”

***

_“Oh, I’m an absolute bastard in that,” I laughed aloud._

_“I’m incredibly sadistic. I can also take pain, especially scratches on my back -_ **_love_ ** _those - but dishing it out is pretty satisfying. Never excessively, though. No fun in sheer suffering. The trick is to turn pain into intensity, make the person feel so good, they’ll happily take what you give them. But it isn’t all about pain - sometimes, denying someone what they desire most is sadistic. ”_

***

“What? No way! Not my sweet Finn!” I gasped in mock horror. 

It was still a little hard coming to terms with the fact that he really was a Dominant, but I was getting there, bit by bit. “Well, I haven’t got a sadistic bone in my body. If you were to ask me to slap you or insult you, I just wouldn’t be able to do it. Masochism, on the other hand...again, it depends on what you’d be doing. Getting berated or really degraded might be too much for me, but I don’t mind if you act mean or humiliate me and push me around a little. We’d need to go over what you had in mind so I could give you the ok, I think.”

***

_“I’d probably push you around, embarrass you, tease the hell out of you, deny you when you want an orgasm and just keep doing it until you’re a mess. Slap your ass, pinch your nipples, bite you, pull your hair...fun stuff,” I said simply._

***

“Yeah, of course. Fun stuff.” I laughed good-naturedly back. “And, erm, when you say bite me, how do you mean?”

***

_“I mean...anywhere you want, or need, or wherever I feel like doing it, I’ll bite you. Not hard enough to break skin - unless you like that kind of thing - but a nice, firm bite or playful nip somewhere on your body.”_

_I touched the place where her neck and shoulder met. “Like there, for instance.”_

***

I closed my eyes, momentarily enjoying the feeling of his fingers lightly touching that area.

Then, I rolled up the sleeve of my top and held out my right arm to Finn. “How about this: Bite down on my arm. Keep going and I’ll tell you when to stop. That way, we’ll know what my limit is. What do you think?”

***

_“I could. Just depending on where on your body I bite, it’s a different sensitivity. Here, I’ll show you.”_

_I took her forearm. “Like, say I bite you on the arm, right? The way I bite you here is one thing.” I sink my teeth into her skin, gradually increasing pressure._

***

I let out an involuntary shudder. It didn’t hurt - not much. If anything, I enjoyed it. There was something so primal seeing Finn biting me like he was currently. It played right into my kink of monster men.

“Okay.” I simply said, so he knew I wasn’t put off in anyway.

***

_I released her arm, pursing my lips so I didn’t leave a mess of saliva, and leaving kisses to soothe the bite. “Now, say I bit that place along your neck. That’s a different sensation because it’s more sensitive there. Watch.”_

_Leaning into her neck, right near the shoulder, I took another bite, inhaling her scent and tasting her skin._

_This time I sighed, reveling in the feeling of her as I added only minute amounts of pressure._

***

“Oh, I see what you mean...” I said, my voice coming out a slight moan. If Finn had bitten down with the same pressure he had done on my arm, it would have probably been too much to handle. The way he was doing it now was just the right amount. “Okay, point taken.”

***

_I laughed low as I let go of her neck, covering the bite in kisses._

_But I didn’t actually stop there._

_I placed my lips along her neck, up to her earlobe, where I gave it a quick nip before soothing it and teasing a bit with the tip of my tongue._

_Then I stopped. With much difficulty, but the tease was too good to pass up._

***

I craned my head to look at Finn. “Okay, that, that was just cruel and you know it.”

Tease or no tease, I was pretty grateful to him. The whole biting thing just now had proven what a novice I was at this and how Finn really did know his stuff. If it had been me with another Dom, who didn’t know or care, they’d probably have gone with what I suggested, causing potential trouble down the line.

***

_“Yeah, it was cruel...but you liked it,” I pointed out. “If you wanted me to keep going, all you had to do is ask.”_

***

Stretching a little, I said, “So, really, I guess that leaves us with just the hard limits, huh? I’ve said what mine are, though I might have missed a few. What about you?”

***

_I leaned back and considered her question. “Except for bodily wastes, which is a pretty common hard limit, I don’t really have any hard limits. Wait...there is_ **_one_ ** _: when a sub tries to force me to continue with a scene that is obviously hurting them in a bad way. That, I draw the line at. I’m not going to let a sub hurt themselves. That ends the scene right there because we’re going to talk about it, or I’m going use aftercare until they’re ready to talk.”_

***

I blinked at his hard limit.  _Oh yeah, I forgot that one…_  

“Right, bodily wastes is a hard limit of mine, too. Thanks for mentioning that, completely slipped my mind. And, I don’t think you’d have to worry about me forcing anything if it’s affecting me negatively. And, even if I did end up doing that, you’re my Master. I trust you to know what’s best for me, so if ending it then and there is the right thing to do, I’m not going to fight it.”

“I’m glad we talked this over.” I smiled. “I feel like we learned a lot. Well, I certainly did.”

***

_“Me too. We may have to remind one another sometimes, but know that I’ll always do right by you.” I surprised her with a firm kiss on the lips._

_“So tell me something...where did you learn about all this? I imagined porn, perhaps, but it seemed you had a pretty good idea of what you like.”_

***

“I always knew what I liked from the get-go, I just never had a name for it. And then the internet came along and it all made sense. I’ll admit, I did look at porn, but it didn’t really scratch that itch. Watching clips of movie scenes on YouTube and reading fanfiction and online erotica helped more.” I explained.

My eyes caught sight of the clock. “Wow, is that the time? 1am already?” It had passed by so quickly.

***

_“Oh, awesome! Perfect timing.”_

_I hopped to my feet and helped Teagan up. “It’s getting closer to peak time, which means things are getting exciting in the heavens. Go get your suit on - I’ll get my trunks and a few other things we’ll need.”_

_While she ran to the bathroom with her things, I went to my bedroom and slipped on my trunks. Then, I grabbed a plastic shopping bag, having picked up a few huge and fluffy beach towels. Earlier I’d also picked up a full sized airbed (which was already inflated and waiting on the roof in case we got tired of the pool). The sealed container of honey-drizzled figs fit in nicely._

_A quick trip to the bathroom once Teagan finished up, and we went to the rooftop. With the lights dimmed just right, I pointed towards the sky._

***

A gasp escaped me, this one far bigger than the one I let out at the park.

The sky...I could see  _everything_! The stars, the constellations - it looked like how the sky looked when I went looking on Google Images. Only this wasn’t online, this was real life.

“It’s…I don't know what to say.” I confessed to Finn. “I never thought I’d see the sky like this… It’s breathtaking!”

***

_Nice work, Asuka. She always had a thing for explosives. She split floating space rocks - sometimes with bare hands - when she felt like lighting up the sky. Not because it was necessary, but because she was the only one crazy enough to do it._

_The meteors were streaking every fifteen to twenty seconds at this point, at most._

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?”_

***

I jumped up and down on the spot when I spied some meteors in the sky. There they were, darting across.

“It so is!” I went and rummaged in the stuff for my phone -  _I’ve left it here somewhere_ \- so I could take a picture or a video of this moment with Finn and never forget it.

***

_“Come on, this way. I set up an airbed nearby where it’s just dark enough to see everything perfectly. That’s for before or after we go for a swim - whatever you prefer, I’m all for it.”_

_I directed her there and set our things down. It was surprisingly stable and, having tested it myself, pretty comfortable. There were a couple of pillows and blankets in case the night cooled down._

***

My eyes widened at the air bed. “Wow, you’ve thought of everything!”

From there I tried to figure out whether to go for a swim first or not. If I swam now, it’d keep me awake longer (though the strong coffee, true to Finn’s word, was doing a great job of that). But then, I could go swimming anytime, the light show up above was a rare occasion.

In the end, it all came down to one thing.

“How long do you think it will go on for?” I asked Finn, pointing at the sky as a few more meteorites zoomed past. “Do you know?”

***

_“This will taper off by the end of the week, but tonight will be the best night to really see it at its fullest. So…for as long as you can keep your eyes open,” I teased._

***

“Right!” That settled it. So long as this glorious sight wasn’t going anywhere, I could swim to my heart’s content. Plus, it’d be a good way to keep me alert. “Swimming time then!”

Without further ado, I jumped into the pool.

“Joining me?” I asked, once I’d submerged from the water.

***

_I responded with a leap into the pool just a couple feet away from Teagan. Once I broke the surface, I floated on my back to look up at the sky._

_“Huh, kinda interesting seeing it like this. Feels like you’re floating around with the stars.”_

***

I copied Finn so that I was floating by his side and staring up at the sky, too.

“You’re right.” I mused, my eyes roaming over every part of the sky in my sight. “It’s really amazing. I could stay like this forever…”

“You know, when I was first decorating the guest bedroom, I  _really_ wanted to paint the ceiling black and have these star lights set up. Couldn’t do it in the end because it was too expensive, but I’ve always loved this kind of stuff.”

Sometimes, when I was stressed, I liked to imagine myself floating in space, surrounded by all those stars and galaxies and colors. There was something about the idea that felt peaceful.

***

_I stole quiet glances at Teagan as she spoke and gazed up at the stars. The wonder on her face was so childlike and sweet. I get to see this often enough to appreciate it, but this was her first time. It gave me an odd sense of pleasure knowing I could be the one to give this experience to her._

_“There’s wallpaper now that looks like this, and it glows in the dark. If you like, we can make it a project.”_

***

“Really!?”  _How did I not know this?_  “Yeah, definitely! We can set it up in the guest room.”

I say guest room, but the spare room at my house was more of a place for Finn and I to do our LEGO projects than anything else at this point.

“I can't believe I’ve been missing out on this all this time…” I turned my head to Finn’s. “Thank you so much for this.”

***

_“Glad to be able to share this with you,” I replied. “It’s not something everyone gets to appreciate, but they should.”_

**

“Agreed. Kind of wish they’d mention it on the news. I’m sure a lot more people would stay up to see it.”

Swimming to the edge of the pool, I dried my hands and, reaching for my phone, opened up the camera. I took a couple of shots, then turned it onto panorama and took an overly long shot with that.

“And, last but not least, selfie time with my favorite person in the whole, wide world.” I announced, swimming back to Finn, careful not to drop my phone.

I positioned the camera so it’d get both of us in the shot. “Smile!”

***

_My smile was wide as she snapped the picture. “Dinner, meteors, and selfies with my favorite girl? I’d say tonight was a resounding success.”_

***

“It was. I knew it would be.” I smiled. 

I swam back to deposit my phone near the towels. “I think I’ll get one of the photos printed out and hung up next to one from Loch Ness  you took for me. By the way, want to try some of that dessert you made now?” Finn had gone to the trouble of making it, it’d be a shame for it to be forgotten admits all of this.

***

_“Sounds good to me,” I agreed._

_I climbed out of the pool, grabbing one of the fluffy towels to dry off. The small sealed bowl of figs barely looked like it had been tossed about._

_I brought the bowl to the side of the pool where Teagan was treading while she watched me. Slipping my feet back into the pool, I set the opened bowl in my lap. “Here you go!”_

***

“Thank you!” I reached out and tried one. I’d never eaten figs before, I wondered how they tasted.

... _It sort of tastes like an apple and a pear mixed together. Pulpy and sweet… Honey makes it even better…_

“I like this.” I told Finn, licking the honey off my fingers. “Another resounding success, Chef. Is there anything you can’t cook?”

***

_I beamed at her praise. “There’s stuff I_ **_refuse_ ** _to cook. Like liver and onions...can’t stand the stuff.” I shuddered at the thought. The figs were pretty good this time of year - not too sweet, not sour at all, just about perfect with honey._

_“What about you?”_

***

I made a face at the mention of liver and onions. “I don't blame you, I hate the stuff, too. As for what I won’t cook? That’s easy. Anything that comes from the head - eyes, tongues, brains. Oh, and I won’t touch raisins and sultanas.”

I took a bite of another fig. “I think that’s pretty much it.”

***

_“Oh God, lengua...cow tongue. I’ve actually cooked with that once. Not something I’d make a habit of, but it was educational. Just wouldn’t do it again even if someone paid me to,” I laughed._

***

“Please don't tell me you actually  _ate_ it?” I asked, horrified. Cow tongue - or  _any_ tongue for that matter - was something I would never try, even if offered money.

***

_“I_ **_did_ ** _try it, yeah. Not terrible, but... again, wouldn't recommend it. Texture was a bit weird.” I said. “What about dream dishes? What have you always wanted to cook?”_

***

I sat back and thought of my dream dishes. That one was harder since there were so many dishes in the world…

“There’s a lot of desserts I’ve always wanted to make, but never tried because they seem really hard. Banoffee cake… Cinnamon swirls… Oh, and souffle. That kind of stuff. You?”

***

_“I’ve yet to make a successful souffle. Usually ends up falling. But that’s what practice is for,” I shrugged. “I do have a great recipe for cinnamon rolls if you’re interested in making some with me one day.”_

***

“Sure. We can try the souffle together as well. Two hands are better than one. ...Or is it four hands are better than two? Whatever, you get my point.”

I’d really enjoyed the couples cooking lessons Finn and I had attended in the last two months, so the opportunity to cook with him again was one I was more than happy to jump on. Even if what we attempted wasn’t an all-round success, I’d still thoroughly enjoy myself.

I climbed out of the swimming pool and wrapped a towel around myself. I think I’d give the airbed a try now.

***

_I dried my feet off and joined Teagan on the airbed, allowing her to position herself first before lying down next to her._

_“Isn’t this just amazing?” I asked softly after a beat._

***

“Yeah.” I said, quite literally starstruck in that moment. How could I not be? The universe itself was right above me, in all it’s vast glory, a sight I’d only ever seen in images and movies. In person, it was nothing short of spectacular.

“Reckon we can sleep out here tonight? Not going to be any surprise rain showers like last time?” I murmured.

***

_“I don’t see that being a problem tonight,” I whispered back. “It’s kind of romantic, being here under the stars.”_

***

“Isn’t it? And people think you need to shell out money on tons of flowers or rings to be romantic.” I scooted up close to Finn and rested my head against his chest. Sleeping outside, star-gazing and watching the meteorites fly by it was then.

After two weeks of stress, I couldn’t have asked for a better night.

***

_“It’s true - you don’t need those things,” I replied. “But I still like bringing you flowers and little surprises. I hope that’s still ok.”_

_I stroked her hair, knowing it wasn’t long before she fell asleep. She deserved a peaceful night._

***

“Of course.” At least that’s what I wanted to say, but I just ended up nodding my head, already drifting off. The coffee we had served me well, but not even my body could last past three in the morning.

My last thought before I fell asleep was that we never got to resume our interrupted kiss from earlier. I’d have to remedy that in the morning...

***

_As she fell asleep, I allowed myself to shut down entirely. It was an indulgence I rarely allowed myself, but…_

_Maybe we both need a moment of peace tonight._

***

After a deep, restful sleep with only short spurts of dreams which I barely remembered or could make sense of, I awoke with the rising sun and to the sound of the traffic and civilians down below.

Squinting, I peered up at the sky above. It was a clear blue, not a cloud in sight.

I stretched, letting out a light moan. “What time is it?” I said to myself, careful not to wake up Finn.

***

_The light greeted my eyes, slowly bringing me back to the present. I took a deep breath and stretched out as Teagan raised her head._

_“Morning, lovely.”_

***

I smiled Finn in greeting. “Morning. Sleep well?”

Considering we’d stayed up until the early hours of the morning, I hoped Finn having to go to work at his usual time wouldn’t be too rough on him. He seemed okay, though, which led me to believe he was used to staying up late and rising early.

***

_I nodded. “Yeah, I did. Good thing today is a short day at work. How about you?”_

***

“I slept pretty well, too, considering that was the first time I’ve stayed up that late.” I laughed. “And how short a day at work are we talking about?”

Climbing to my feet, I held out my hand for Finn.

***

_“It’s been pretty slow,” I replied as I took her hand and came to sitting position. “I’ll likely be done by noon. Oh, but wait a minute...I think I’ve forgotten something.”_

_I hadn't let go of her hand, so I playfully tugged her back to me, pulling her until she was sitting on my lap._

***

“Oh?” I smiled, leaning closer until my forehead rested against his. “Have you remembered how you really wanted to kiss me last night, but never got to?”

***

_“Exactly. Just...indulge me, won’t you?”_

_The warmth and softness of her lips against mine was calming. I kept it simple, caressing, just enough to leave her wanting - and pursuing - more._

***

My fingers grazing against Finn’s cheek, I pressed my lips against his a little more, not content with the light kiss he was giving me. He couldn’t get me all excited and just leave it there, after all.

Soon, what had started out as a chaste kiss turned into a makeout session.

***

_There it was._

_Hands in her hair, I deepened the kiss the way she enjoyed, with a gentle tug. I started leaving kisses on her neck and, just because I could, gave her a repeat tease of last night._

***

I let out a low moan, enjoying the feeling of his lips peppering my neck, as well as the slight nips he gave along the way. “Finn…”

***

_I sighed into her neck, encouraged by her enjoyment and knowing we had to eventually stop. So I did what any good, loving, teasing boyfriend would do._

_I gave her a pleasant bite at that point between the neck and shoulder, and gently sucked._

_Marking might be a primitive thing, but I didn’t care. She was mine._

***

_Oh, he’s such a tease…_ I thought to myself as I felt him start sucking the part of my skin he’d previously been biting. It was one of the things about Finn that I loved, and drove me insane.

I kissed the top of his head.

***

_I gradually increased my pressure on her neck, making sure I left a decent mark there. My hands stroked her back, massaging as I gave my full attention to seeing to her pleasure._

_When I released from my task, I finished with a gentle kiss at the properly reddened site._

***

Pulling back, I looked down to see the spot Finn had been sucking and working at. The small area where his lips had once been was now noticeably red, standing out against the rest of my skin.

“Did...did you just give me a hickey?” I asked, my finger tracing the area. “Or is it called something else?”

***

_“Definitely a hickey,” I giggled softly. “Or a love bite. Or just me, marking what’s mine. Whatever you wanna call it.”_

***

“Hmmm… Let’s call it the last one. I like that.” I smiled.

I reluctantly pulled back from Finn to stand up. Couldn’t keep distracting him when he had work to get to after all. I didn’t want Finn to get into trouble because of me. “Right, time we both got ready.”

***

_“Do we have to though? I kinda like this. I don’t want it to end. Almost tempted to call in sick just to spend the rest of the day with you, just like this,” I mused._

_Begrudgingly (but not really) I stood to my feet...and swept Teagan into a fireman’s carry and whisked her all the way back to my apartment._

***

I squealed, surprised and more than a little elated, as Finn carried me in his arms back inside. I hadn’t been expecting that at all.

“You could, but won’t Regal see right through it? Is he the type who’s liable to turn around and be like, ‘Too late. You already had a week off work at home’?” I joked back. “We had a whole week together, I feel like we’d be tempting fate if you called in sick.”

***

_“Yeah, yeah... I do have some important things to take care of at the office, so I gotta go anyway. Then I figured I’d come back here and get the airbed taken down and get some time in at the gym before I come back to bother you,” I teased back._

***

“Boo, you could never bother me. The day that happens is the day Hell freezes over.” I teased back. “And I can always handle the airbed for you while you’re at work, if you want? That way you can head straight to the gym?”

***

_“That would be awesome,” I smiled. “I appreciate that. You got any plans for the day?”_

***

“Not really. Just going to stay at home and work on the suit, I think. Need me to do any shopping?”

“Oh, here.” I handed him the box of cookies I made yesterday. “Sorry I didn’t bring them in yesterday. I got completely sidetracked. Also, I was thinking, how about we invite your friends round on Friday or Saturday? Check which day is okay with them.”

***

_“No problem! You made them, so it’s already wonderful. And I’ll let the knucklehead twins know.”_

_As I came out of the bedroom, having finished dressing while we talked, I added, “I honestly can’t think of anything that we’d need from the store. But if you find anything needed, you can grab those or let me know and I can pick them up.”_

***

“Will do!” 

I walked Finn to the door. It was so weird to be seeing him off at his apartment. “Have a nice day, okay? I’ll send you a text later to see how things are.” I kissed him on his lips. “See you later!”

***

_“Have a great day, lovely! Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve been meaning to give you this.”_

_I pulled a silver key from my pocket and pressed it into her palm. “Now you have a key to my place, anytime you need it.”_

***

I stared at the key, stunned. “Really? Ar-are you sure?”

It was odd. Though I’d made it clear early on that my house was just as much Finn’s as mine, and him moving in hadn’t felt that big a deal, this was the exact opposite. I’d always kept my distance when it came to Finn’s life, not wanting to impose or come across as too clingy. If he invited me round to his apartment, great. If not, still great.

So, for him to entrust me with the key to his apartment...was pretty big.

“Th…” I gulped. “Thank you.” I curled my fingers around it. “If I ever decide to pop round here during the day, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

***

_“Of course. I trust you.” Which was true. I kept nothing having to do with Hell up here anyway - too risky. It was just a plush, cozy condo._

_I kissed her slowly, passionately. “Have a great day, lovely. See you soon.”_

***

I waved Finn goodbye, butterflies in my stomach after receiving the key to his apartment.

For me, it was more proof that our relationship was progressing, yet another step in the right direction.


	46. Bad Timing

 

_Finn, look at this!_

Opening up the camera on my phone, I took a photo of the mark Finn had left on the skin between my neck and my shoulder. Yesterday, Tuesday morning, it had been just this red ring. However, overnight, it had turned into a very notable bruise.

I’ll admit, I liked looking at it and thinking, _I’m his_ , but that didn’t mean I wanted anyone seeing it. Especially my weekly support group!

***

_I laughed aloud seeing the mark on her neck. Today was her support group meeting, too._

**_In my defense, you tasted delightful...and I was feeling a bit possessive. ;-)_ **

***

_I must hide this or they’ll start asking questions! ><_

Searching around my room, I found a scarf I could wear around my neck that would hide it well. It was either that or a turtleneck and the one I owned was currently in the wash.

_Found a scarf. Now that that’s sorted, have you had a chance to talk to Anderson and Gallows? :)_

_***_

**_I did! Friday works best for them. :D_ **

_Of course they were game for Friday night - Saturday was their night to cruise bars, pick up girls, and...well, who knows what else?_

_Plus, they really wanted to hang out with Teagan. They knew not to let on that they were demons - I trusted that in them, no matter what - and that human versions of our escapades were in play._

_***_

_Wonderful!_

_Of course,_ I then texted, _you do realize what this means, don’t you?_

_Risk._ _Muhahaha! >:)_

***

**_Bring it on. I’ll rule over all your provinces and then some. :-P_ **

**_Unless, of course, you wish to enter an alliance._ **

***

_Maybe. We shall see. ;)_

I probably would, if only because it’d make it more fun, but I wanted to keep Finn guessing until the last minute.

_Anyway, I’m off to my support group. I’ll see you later! Xxx!_

Quickly getting changed into my red knee-length skirt, and my black, pleated short-sleeved Peter Pan collar top, I then threw on the scarf enough so that it covered up the bruise and headed out.

***

**_Later! And let me know if you have other places you want me to mark ;-) xXx_ **

_“My King?” Lana peeked in._

_“They’re ready for me?”_

_A slow, reverent nod. Lana was actually one of our most devoted and intelligent demons: a quick study, well versed in the laws of Hell, Heaven, and everywhere in between, and (oddly enough) wanted to initially join the Lilin. But Regal saw her potential and offered up an equally valuable role for her, one that put her brain and body to work: one of my assassins._

_“Alright, let’s go.” A meeting with all of my elites this afternoon. Always fun._

***

“Now, as you’re all aware, there’s been some slight unpleasantness as of late.” The group leader, a middle-aged woman who worked part-time at the town’s local library, announced once everyone had arrived and got settled in. 

Michael and I shared a glance. Unpleasantness was putting it kindly.

“I know some of you must be feeling hurt, betrayed, and upset, but all we can do now is learn from it and move on and put it behind us. I also think we owe two of our members, Michael Lester and Teagan Dunn, an apology.”

The second the words were out of her mouth, the members were doing just that. Some were sheepish, some kept it short and simple, but all were genuine. Michael and I accepted their apologies without any fuss or bad feelings.  We were just happy the truth had come out.

Once that was over, the group session was able to go underway as usual.

“Moving on, I hope all of you had a good week. I’m glad to see some faces who were missing last Wednesday are back and in good health.” She smiled at me and another. “I would also like to introduce a new member to the group. Her name is Audrey Marie, she’s twenty eight and from Texas. Please give her a warm welcome.”

We all smiled at the woman with shoulder-length chestnut hair that curled at the ends, and wearing cowboy boots and a black dress sitting next to her. She politely waved to everyone and went to introduce herself.

***

_The Meeting of the Elites is comprised of global squads of demons who happen to be the best of the best, some teams as old as the reign of Lucifer himself. Like the Lilin, for instance. They are incubi and succubi named for the first daughter of Hell: Lilith._

_Or the Tribe of Cain, a league of assassins named for the first murderer to exist._

_For a demon to become one of the Elite, they have to meet a team’s initial requirements. You don’t find them - they find_ **_you_ ** _.  If the potential is there and you meet their expectations, then you undergo their testing and training until they deem you ready for the final exam. Survive that - and the following initiation - and you’re in._

_Today, we were welcoming new members into the Tribe, the Lilin, and the Order of Ramses. Several, including Lana and Seth Rollins, had earned their place with blood, sweat, and the occasional stolen bodily organ, which was cause for celebration._

_I felt like a proud father._

***

Once introductions were out of the way - my first impression of Audrey Marie was that she was perfectly nice and pleasant, if not a tiny bit scatterbrained at times - the group session officially started. This week’s session was mostly just circle time, with the group leader giving anyone the chance to speak up about anything they were struggling with, if they so wished. The rest of the group could pitch in with their thoughts and advice, etc.

The two hours passed by quicker than usual, something which I attributed to the fact that everyone was so caught up with listening to each other’s stories, some of which went on for a good while.

Exiting the building, a groan rang out as everyone saw that it was raining. The weather may have been good the last couple of days, but it seemed that was over now.

“Would anyone like a lift back home?” Audrey offered.

Initially, I was going to decline. My house wasn’t too far from the town hall, it would seem like a waste of gas, but Audrey had insisted. In the end, I accepted, deciding it’d be rude not to, especially when Michael and two others had decided to take her up on her offer.

“Okay, so who’s first?” Audrey smiled at us from the driver’s seat. 

***

_I took a long, hot shower, washing away the last vestiges of blood from the initiations._

_After several millenniums, you would think they would opt for a less messy way to welcome their members._

_Who was I kidding? It was still so fun. And I even got a hell of a cardio workout, what with the chasing the groundlings and all. I left, however, before the whole thing turned into a full-on blood orgy. As these things usually went when spirits were high._

_I shot a text to Teagan. Her support group meeting was probably wrapped up by now._

**_I'm about finished for the day. Everything okay? :-)_ **

***

Michael was the first to get dropped off. Then Andy, and then Sally. Eventually, it was just Audrey and I in the car.

In hindsight, it would have made more sense for her to drop me off before Sally as I lived closer, but I just didn’t have the chance to speak up sooner. I felt a little bad, but Audrey didn’t seem to mind.

I smiled as I saw Finn’s text.

_Hey! Everything’s fine. Just getting dropped off home since, as you can see, it’s pouring it down. How about you?_

“Oh, my house is just around the corner here.” I pointed out.

***

**_I'm great! Got quite a workout and took a shower. Heading home now in this mad weather. Need me to pick anything up?_ **

***

_Nah, we’re all good for dinner tonight. Chicken Kiev alright with you?_

Putting my phone down, I looked out the window...then frowned. _Wait a sec…_

“You’re going the wrong way.” I pointed out. “You were supposed to turn left, but you must have kept on driving forward.”

 _No biggie. She probably misheard me._ I reasoned.

“You just need to turn around when you get a chance. Look, how about now?” I pointed out the road up ahead, giving her a clear opportunity to make a U-turn.

But Audrey didn't do that. She kept on driving, ignoring my instructions.

_What the hell is going on here?_

“Audrey,” I said then, starting to get worried. “Take me home.”

“You’re not going home, Teagan.” The brunette announced, her smile now slightly unstable. “Father wants to talk to you, to help you. You _must_ come meet him.”

My heart plummeted. I knew without her having to tell me who ‘Him’ was. Bray Wyatt.

I should have known he wouldn’t leave me alone.

As if confirming my suspicions, Audrey Marie drove the car off the road and into the forest on the outskirts of town. Samantha’s mysterious disappearance immediately came to mind and I felt like I was going to be sick. Was he responsible for that? It wouldn’t surprise me.

I looked to my phone, to call for help, but my eyes widened in horror when I saw it had no signal.  

_Oh God, oh God, oh God!_ **_This can’t be happening!_ **

***

**_Sounds good! See you soon! xXx_ **

> **Message not sent. Will try again in a few minutes.**

_Weird. That’s never happened before._

_I called her phone. Right to voicemail._

_Maybe the signal is bad where they’re dropping off someone? I decided to head back to the house and wait._

_Not feeling good about this though. To be safe, I sat in the car as the rain hit in a torrent and closed my eyes._

_Her brand has a psychokinetic trigger in case of threats from demon, angel, or human. But I can track her down, because I’m already inside her head._

**Trees everywhere. A forest. Fallen limbs. No signal.**

**“Audrey… Take me home.”**

**“You’re not going home, Teagan….Father wants to talk to you, to help you. You must come meet him.”**

_I knew that face._

_Audrey Marie is a void that was last assigned for acquisition to…_

**_Bray Wyatt._ **

_Shit!_

_I sped for the outskirts of town, finding the back roads. I wasn’t worried that he was likely trying to get to me._

_I was more pissed that he’s going after what’s_ **_mine_ ** _._

***

_I should have told Finn about Bray when I had the chance._

_Should I run?_

_Should I try and fight her and drive out of here?_

_Why didn’t I get some pepper spray?_

My mind was a flurry of questions and ‘should-haves’ as I tried to come to terms with the fact that I was, for all intents of purposes, being hijacked. My phone lay on my lap uselessly, the text for help I’d sent to Finn unable to be delivered.

All I could see was trees and trails as Audrey drove us through the woods. _How deep is this place? If I try and escape, will I be able to even find my way out!?_

Finally, the car came to a crawl before stopping. Up ahead was a clearing, and, in that clearing a compound of sorts set up. There were trucks and cars scattered around, and a barn and even a house. This must be where Bray Wyatt and his ‘family’ lived. 

And, filling up the place, was a large group of people.

A good portion of them were wearing sheep masks, just like the man in the green overalls who was always by Bray Wyatt’s side. 

Audrey Marie turned off the ignition and opened the door to her side. “We’re here.” She breathed, eyes bright with a instability she’d hid well in the group sessions, I was starting to realize. “Come, Teagan. Father is waiting for you in the barn. I’ll take you to him.”

Seeing no way to get out of this, I went willingly, all the while praying this wouldn’t end in me being kept prisoner, or forced to join as a cult member.

I followed from behind as she led me past the other cult members - they stared at me with similar dazed or unhinged expressions, which seemed to be the norm of a member of the Wyatt Family - and into the barn.

There, sitting in the rocking chair, flanked by the trucker and the man in the green overalls, was a jubilant Bray Wyatt.

“Welcome, Teagan Dunn! Welcome to my home!”

***

_Just twenty minutes away from her location. I went top speed - as if the police would ever stop me. I had people everywhere. Never had a ticket._

_Judging by the unmoving figure up ahead, I should have known this wouldn’t be a straightforward trip. I slammed the brakes, the scent of burnt tire on pavement drifting through the vents as I came to a complete stop._

_Not even a hundred feet away stood an unimposing, almost insignificant messenger by the name of one Michael Cole._

_Important though his message might be, he was in my way._

_So I snatched him up by his neck and roughly slammed him into the Stop sign at the intersection._

_Eyes red, I griped, “Is there a reason I almost ran you over? Better be quick as I have urgent business.”_

_Cole spluttered nervously, pawing at my hand. “My apologies, but I’m here to deliver a message from the Authority!” After flailing some more in my grasp, he said, pathetically, “Please release me? I’m only following orders here!”_

_I growled, the forcefully released him. “Deliver your message. I have an emergency that you’re keeping me from.”_

_Hand on his throat, Cole tried to regain his previously composed, self-important demeanor. It didn’t help that his predecessor, Jim Ross (who chose to Fall), was highly respected and liked and had left big shoes to fill._

_Straightening up, he announced, with a formal air about him, “As I was saying, I have just received a message from the Authority. And I quote: ‘Demon King, out of respect for you, we have turned a blind eye to the actions of Bray Wyatt. However, no more. His attack on a good soul today have proven that he is out of control and a threat to the balance. We, the Authority, urge you to dispose of him as soon as possible, or_ **_we will_ ** _.”_

_Cole finished and glanced at me nervously. “Th-That’s it.”_

_I scoffed. Calmly, I replied. “That’s it? That’s the message you came to deliver?” The squirrely gentleman nodded quickly._

_Screw going red. My eyes went soulless black with rage. “THAT’S THE EMERGENCY I’M HEADED TO, YOU INSIGNIFICANT PRICK!” The punch I laid into his face sent him across the intersection to the next road sign._

_“If something happens to Teagan because you stalled me, I will hold YOU personally responsible.” With that, I jumped back into the car and took off, almost sad that I didn’t run him over._

_***_

“Father, I brought her here, just as you asked.” Audrey Marie announced, leaving my side to approach Bray. “Are you pleased?”

“Oh, I am very pleased! Come, my child, let me reward you.” Bray announced grandly.

Standing up, he pulled the elated woman to him and, his hand wrapped around her waist, kissed her. Letting out a moan, Audrey shuddered in his grasp. Her eyes stayed opened throughout and I watched as they rolled back in their sockets.

_If I were to make a run for it now, how far would I get?_

My eyes met the trucker’s and he stared back at me with a stony gaze, as if to say I could try, but I’d only come out worse for wear if I did.

Bray released Audrey Marie (I could have sworn I saw something pass from her mouth to his…). Her eyes glazed and laughing like a madwoman, she tottered away, looking as if she could lose her footing at any second.

“When we first met, you expressed an interest in Randy Orton.” Bray then said, conversationally, as if he hadn’t just gotten one of his followers to trick me here. “You know, it was Sister Abigail who created me, made me the Eater of Worlds, but Randy...much as I loathe him with my very being, he played a part, too. You see, this body of mine-”

“I don’t care!” I interrupted harshly. The time for politeness was over, I’d had enough of him. “I don’t care what you have to say! I don’t care about joining your family! _I don’t care!_ All I want is for you to just leave me alone! Why can’t you get that through your head?!”

The portly man chuckled, not the least put out by my attitude. “Oh, little lamb, poor little lamb, how innocent you are. If only you knew what I knew, then you wouldn’t be so eager to run away.” He inclined his head at the two men who stood by his rocking chair and I tensed as they stood on either side of me. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve left me no choice.” He looked at the two men. “Luke, Erick.”

Before I could react, the two sprung on me, wrestling me to the ground. Luke, the trucker with the long black beard, pinned my arms down. While Erick, for once not wearing his mask (he looked Scandinavian and had a bright orange beard), held my legs down.

“N-No! Let me go! Let me go right now!” I yelled, struggling as much as I could. However, the strength of the two men combined was too much.

“People are sheep. I told you that before, remember? People are sheep, they can’t lead themselves. Oh, the powers that be think they can, they say to leave it up to their free will, but they’re wrong! People need to be led! You can’t leave the choice up to them, you need to _make_ them! Take you, for instance, Teagan Dunn.” Bray bent down beside me. “You hate your parents, don’t you? You hate them for all the horrible things they did to you.”

“Wh-What? How do you know about my parents?” I stared, mortified at him. Dear God, had he been stalking me as well!? “A-and that’s none of your business-!”

“You love them, I can see that. But I can also see hate there. I understand, man. I hated my daddy, too.” Bray’s face darkened. “He was a mean, old man, my daddy. He made eight year old Bray Wyatt’s life miserable. Didn’t want me learning with them other kids, he wanted me stuck on that shrimp boat with him. You want to know what I did?”

I shook my head. Bray carried on anyway. “I let my daddy’s precious shrimp boat get caught on fire. And then I stood there and watched as he sunk down into the sea with it. I got rid of my daddy. I freed myself from him and I found happiness. And so can you, little lamb!” He grinned wide. “Aren’t you tired of holding onto all that hate and not doing anything about it? Don’t you want to make them pay for all the pain they caused your soul? Then embrace your hate and have your vengeance! Kill your parents, Teagan!”

“No! Yo-You’re insane!” I protested, terrified. “I don’t want that! I would NEVER do that!”

“Hehe, when I’m done with you, _you will._ ”

Bray clamped his hands on either side of my head. “Hold her still for me, boys. Now, don’t you cry, little lamb, I’m just going to speak out a little incantation Sister Abigail taught me. It’s forbidden to use, but I grow tired of all these needless rules. It’s time for a change, so, consider this my declaration of war.”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Please, let me go-”

I screamed as Bray, eyes closed, began to seemingly chant in tongues and I felt as if my mind was being ripped open. All those horrible memories replayed, and I could do nothing about it. It was as I was strapped to a chair and my eyes were being forced open, just like that scene from ‘A Clockwork Orange’, only it was happening to my brain.

_Oh God, make it stop. Someone HELP ME!_

***

_I could feel the alarm going off in my head. Bray was messing with her mind. I could hear the incantation. One that I hadn’t heard in a long time._

_Abigail. She taught him the forbidden Turns of the Profane! The Turns are a list of spells and incantations that, in order to cooperate with the rules of peacetime, were strictly banned from all use as it directly interfered with the free will of human beings. Regal was right to slaughter her when he had the chance. I only wish I could have said the same about Bray._

_I sped even faster towards the site, transmitting my own message to Teagan._ **_Hang on, love. Fight back. Please, hold on until I find you._ **

_I could only hope it got through before it was too late._


	47. Mind Games

Breathing heavily, I lay motionless on the ground, staring up at the cloudy sky. I was no longer been restrained by Luke and Erick, while Bray’s chanting had stopped.

“It’s done.” I heard Bray announce. “Stand up, little lamb. Stand up and seek your salvation- _ Don’t touch her! _ ” He’d suddenly yelled as Erick went to help me up. “Be careful, my son! She has been marked! I sensed it as I unleashed my dark spell on her. On the first touch, it sends out its warning. On the second, it will attack. Hehe, you touch her now and you might not get back up again.”

At his prompting, I slowly picked myself up off the ground and stood unsteadily before the three men, dazed. 

I felt raw, exposed,  _ violated.  _ I don’t know how, but Bray had reached into my mind and tampered with it. He’d dragged parts - secret, painful parts - out and laid them bare against my will.

He came to stand before me. “I have shown you what you must do. What is it? Answer me!”

“Urgh...” I closed my eyes. In my head, a mantra played over and over, one I couldn’t dispel no matter how much I tried to:  **_Kill your parents._ **

Bray giggled. “Interesting. Despite implanting my message into your mind, you still resist me. That’s never happened before, man. So...is this what Regal and Kane meant when they talked of an unbreakable soul?”

He tried again. “ _What must you do,_ _Teagan Dunn?_ ”

This time, I couldn’t fight it. “Kill my parents.”

“Why?”

“Because…” I faltered, then collected myself. “Because it’s the only way I’ll ever be free. I’ll never be happy until I’ve made them pay.” My expression hardened. “I must kill them!”

“Amber and gold suits your eyes, little lamb. Now go. Go do what needs to be done. And, should you encounter any…” He paused, then giggled. “It’s a secret. Soon, but not yet. Let’s just say, if you encounter anyone, even those up above or down below, you will not heed them. You will flee. And if you cannot flee, you will fight. You will not rest until you have struck down your rotten parents. Understand?”

I nodded and Bray let out a maniacal cackle. 

After that, he ordered Erick and Luke to drive me back to town. The two men were careful not to lay a finger on me, handling me as if I were a bomb liable to go off any second. I had no idea why, and frankly, I didn’t care.

There was only one thought going through my mind.

**_Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents._ **

****

***

_ She’s  _ **_moving_ ** _. Still on the other side of town but drawing closer to home. _

_ I spun and hurtled towards the house. Calling Regal, I said, “Listen: Bray took Teagan. He’s done something to her, one of the Turns of the Profane, but I can’t say what yet, not until I find her.” _

_ Regal was silent for a moment. Then he seethed, “ _ **_Fucking Abigail_ ** _. We will find him, my King. And we have field demons out - I’ll let them know to look out for her.” _

_ “Cole delivered a message from the Authority, saying to take care of it or they will. Of course, he delayed my finding her which was entirely counterproductive,” I added. _

_ “Fuck them!” Regal snarled. “They don’t know their assholes from the Grand fucking Canyon! Find Teagan, Sire, find her and undo whatever damage was done to her. That's your priority right now. We’ll handle the rest.” _

_ “Indeed. Keep me posted.” _

***

The truck came to a stop outside the town hall. I was back where I had started.

They said no words of parting to me - Could they even? They didn’t seem all there in the head - and I spared them no second glance as I stepped out.

The second my feet were on the ground and the door closed, they sped off. I simply watched as the red truck gradually became smaller until disappearing out of sight.

And then, swaying slightly, I started to make my way back home. I couldn’t delay any longer, not when I had a mission to complete.

_ Knife. I need a knife. I need to get a knife and then I’ll go to my parents house and I’ll stab- _

“Teagan!”

I turned around to see a man and woman running towards me. The woman had long, wavy dyed blonde hair and a tan and was wearing a sports cap, black shorts, and a leopard print jacket. Her name was Carmella. Next to her was her boy-toy, James Ellsworth, who, as well as seeming to lack a chin, bore a remarkable resemblance to E.T. Both worked at Finn’s law firm.

“Hey, Tea-Girl!” The woman exclaimed as she came to a stop before me. “I thought I recognized you there - Oh.  _ O.M.Freaking.G!! _ ”

Carmella took a step back, eyes wide. I quickly realized why when I caught sight of my reflection.

I looked...well, I looked like a mess, there was no other way of putting it. My hair was in disarray, my face streaked with the tears I’d shed while struggling to escape, and one of my eyes was also badly bloodshot.

Huffing, Ellsworth reached the two of us before backing away, too. “Whoa, she’s got a thousand yard stare going on…”

“Teagan, sweetie, come with us. We’re going to take you to Finn and he’ll make you feel all better. Everything’s going to be okay.” Carmella slowly approached me, reaching out a hand...

“No. No, I have to go.” I responded, emotionless, before turning away. “There’s something I have to do...”

“Wait, don’t go!” Ellsworth protested. He grabbed the sleeve of my top. “You can’t-”

“ _ GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! _ ” I snarled. It was a good thing I didn’t have a weapon on me. If I had, I probably would have struck him with it.

Ellsworth leaped away, hiding behind Carmella. “Baby, what should we do?”

“Don’t panic! We found her, we got this.” Fishing out her phone, Carmella furiously dialed a number. “I’ll call Regal. Just keep your eyes on her, make sure she doesn’t get away, stupid!”

“Teagan Dunn.”

As Carmella and Ellsworth stiffened, I turned around to come face to face with a muscled man in his thirties. He had short brown hair, a baseball cap on, and was wearing a sports t-shirt and...  _ jorts _ . He looked like an overgrown child in some ways.

“Cena? What are you doing here?” Ellsworth blurted out.

***

_ I hastily parked in front of the house. Still dark inside. She’s not here. _

_ But I can still feel her. She’s close. Not too far into the city. And she’s not alone. _

_ I decided to go stealth and raced into town. _

***

The man’s name was John Cena. I had no idea who he was, though he seemed to know me.

Carmella and Ellsworth certainly seemed to know who he was and, if their reactions were anything to go by, they weren’t on good terms with him. Carmella, especially.

“Get lost, Cena. The lady is spoken for!” She snarled at him.

Cena remained calm despite her hostility. “Relax, I’m just here to help. Give me a second and I can fix all of this!”

“No,  _ you _ leave. This is our problem and we’ll be the ones to fix this. We’ve got this."

“Oh, really? Not what it looks like to me. And I don’t appreciate your attitude given how  _ you’re _ the ones that broke the rules here, not us.” Cena responded, still calm, but there was anger in his eyes. “You shouldn’t even be bothering with her in the first place-”

Having had enough of them, I turned to leave. 

I managed to get as far as a few steps before stumbling against the wall.

**_Kill your parents! Kill your parents! Kill your parents!_ **

“No! I don’t want to!” I held my head, teeth clenched.

I felt like I was going insane. That damn mantra was taking over my brain, getting louder and more insistent the more I tried to fight it or ignore it. It scared me. I didn’t want to listen to it, but it was getting harder and harder not to…

**_Kill your parents!_ **

“Teagan!” Carmella, Ellsworth and Cena crowded around me, calling to me.

I needed to escape from them. I needed to get away, get my hands on a weapon, and do what I had to do. They were trying to stop me. They were not my friends!

“HELP ME! PLEASE, SOMEBODY HELP ME! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed as loud as I could. Loud enough that it got the attention of passersby.

I hightailed it out of there while they were all distracted.

 

***

_ Found her. _

_ Fleeing from Carmella, Ellsworth, and - no surprise there - John Cena. _

_ Still unseen, I grabbed her out of the air into a nearby alley as she let out a surprised shriek. Then I rendered her unconscious, catching her in my arms as she went silent and limp. Putting her over my shoulder, I emerged in human form just as the two demons and the always well-meaning angel ran up. _

_ “I got her. Thanks for keeping her occupied. Regal is expecting you two to report immediately. Go on,” I ordered Carmella and Ellsworth, who left without question. _

_ Turning to Cena, I nodded. “You’re pretty intimidating to the younger demons, so my apologies for their standoffishness...and my thanks for your help. Bray has invoked forbidden spells - Turns of the Profane, taught to him secretly against our orders by a demon we’ve long since eradicated. They can’t be undone by Heaven, and if the angels cross his path, you’re in very real danger if he uses one against you. But I’ve got a way to fix it all. Leave it to us. We’ve got it contained.” _

_ Cena was infamous for being a goody-two-shoes, even among his own kin, but, unlike some of the others, he was fair and gave respect when due. I knew he would not cause me any problems on this matter. _

_ The angel known as a hero to the children, especially those who were sick and dying, sighed. “Good to hear. I trust your judgement, so I’ll make sure none of the other angels cause you any problems. And, for what it’s worth, I don’t hold you accountable for this. I know you’ve done everything you could to rein Wyatt in, and I respect that leniency.” _

_ His eyes fell on Teagan. “I’m glad you found her before she could harm anymore, or herself.” _

_ “Now the task is making sure she doesn’t.” I glanced at her before returning my attention to him. “Make sure to warn the angels that he’s armed with the Turns, and to be careful crossing his path. We’ll handle this, I assure you.” _

_ Cena nodded and gave me a salute. “Will do, Finn.” He took off in a blink. _

_ So did I - right into our living room. _

_ I laid Teagan’s form on the couch and called Regal while in the kitchen.“I’ve got her.” _

_ “Good. Carmella and Ellsworth informed me that she was hysterical and trying to run off. Good thing you caught her.” _

_ “It is,” I agreed. “Bray brainwashed her. She’s fighting it though, I can tell.” _

_ “Incorruptible souls,” I heard him sigh in relief. “They’re resilient things, aren’t they? She’ll push back, but she won’t be able to stop it alone. You’ll have to remove whatever he’s planted and rewrite her memory.” _

_ “No problem,” I assured him. “You’ve got to neutralize Bray. Send out the Tribe to track down his cult members. You know what to do.” _

_ “Yes, my King.” _

_ As I hung up, Teagan was still unconscious, and would stay that way for another half hour. I was beside myself with anger, ready to storm out and find him myself. _

_ I opened the front door and, at the end of the walkway, there he stood. The bastard had some nerve being here. _

_ Bray Wyatt. _

_ “Evening, Demon King. Did you get my message?” He laughed, the picture of perfect ease. _

_ “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fucking rip you apart right now, Wyatt.” My voice was calm, but I was simmering with anger. _

_ “You can try, but you won’t succeed!” Was his boastful reply. “I am more than just a demon; I am a God! That’s what Sister Abigail told me and she was right! She said, ‘You are the one, Bray. One day, you will change the world.’ And that’s what I plan to do, man.” _

_ “Sister Abigail lied to you,” I retorted, still calm. “Sister Abigail used you when her own devices did not work. She didn’t want the peace treaty and she couldn’t have the crown. So she sired you without your - or  _ **_our_ ** _ \- consent and made you believe all of her pretty little lies. Truth is that you’re no god - just a pawn in a game that goes well beyond your understanding. And now you’re condemned to death for your use of the Turns against innocents. You really think you’ll survive?” _

_ “I don’t think, I  _ **_know_ ** _ I will. Do not underestimate me, Bálor. Do not measure me how you measure a normal demon. I am your equal!” Bray raised his voice slightly. “And she warned me, you know. She warned me what you, Kane and Regal,” his face twisted at the mention of the general manager of Hell, “about the things you would tell me. How you would come to me wearing the masks of deception. That every word that would fly out of your mouths would be lies and empty promises. How you would try and keep me from my destiny!” _

_ “I couldn’t give a fuck what she told you,” I replied, cold and defiant. “Because the day you learn the truth will be the day you die at my hand.” I stood less than a foot away, staring him down. “And you will not have Teagan. She is mine. Don’t think I don’t know how you’ve wanted to consume her soul. It’s against our law and you know that. Even so, you still couldn’t have her because you’re still an infant and couldn’t handle it, no matter how powerful you fancy yourself. She’s protected, as I’m certain you know.” _

_ “And yet, I was still able to do to her what I did.” Bray challenged back. “As for Teagan Dunn...there’s been a change of plans. I had something of an epiphany today, Demon King. Do you want to know what it was?” _

_ “Humor me...Wyatt. I could use a laugh.” _

_ “When I first laid eyes on her, I wanted to take that faint soul of hers and turn her into one of us, just as Abigail did to me. Then, if she displeased me, I’d feast on her. I hear the taste of our own provides a rush that you just don’t get from voids or groundlings. I’ve been trying to steal her away from you, to get her started on the path to Hell, but she’s a stubborn one, she kept refusing. So, I took matters into my own hands. If I couldn’t get her to sin of her own free will, I’d  _ **_make_ ** _ her.” _

_ He grinned then. “But then something marvelous happened! I finally saw what you saw, Bálor! When I used the Turns on her and she fought back, I finally saw the power of the incorruptible soul! How strong it is, how beautiful! And that’s when I made up my mind: I would not corrupt her, I would consume her as she is. I grow tired of settling for just the voids. I want to try the forbidden fruit, the ultimate one: an incorruptible soul. Don’t worry, Demon King, I am not so greedy as to steal your acquisition and keep her all to myself. I’ll be more than happy to share.” _

_ “Let me spell this out for you. There is no  _ **_sharing_ ** _. There is no  _ **_feasting_ ** _. And I will  _ **_not_ ** _ be joining you. To consume an incorruptible soul will bring the fury of several factions upon the entirety of Hell and on Earth. I know your blood-lust and your desire for war...and I know how you’ve corrupted your soul and shrouded it from above and below. So I will warn you one final time: surrender to the will of Hell, or you won’t like what happens next.” _

_ Bray giggled. “My oh my, when did the monster who eats the wolves become so scared of the lions? What’s stopping you, Bálor? You know as well as I do that you could devour her soul right this second and no one’s going to stop you. They’re too scared in case you open that glorious Evil Eye of yours. _

_ “And, as for surrendering? Nah, man. I have no intention of giving myself up. As I said to the little lamb today, this is my declaration of war. And to you, Demon King, I say join me, or perish. I will defeat you if I have to, and when I do, when I am done devouring every last drop of Teagan Dunn’s soul, my victory will bring forth a glorious new era. An era in which I, the Eater of Worlds, is crowned the new Demon King, and I say no more rules! I will bring Hell to Earth and then I will burn it all to the ground. The Evil Eye will open once more and this time there’ll be no closing it! Hahahahaha!” _

_ This time, I let out a giggle. And he stopped cold. “Fantastic plan! Just brilliant! Excellent strategy you got there, Wyatt! Really, a good show. Only...well, there’s a kink in your plan that not even your predecessor considered. You see, Bálor isn’t a possession for some fool with a complex to wield, but a powerful entity that chooses its wielder. He’s been known to kill anyone he deems unworthy. And you know what he says about you, Wyatt? Even now?” _

_ I added in a low demonic whisper, “ _ **_You’re not strong enough to handle me. Too self-serving, too greedy, and those are your best qualities. Try to separate me from my Chosen, and we will shatter you into Oblivion. Good luck trying, though. I’m sure it’ll be riveting._ ** _ ” _

_ For a second, Bray’s expression twisted and I was pleased to see I’d hit a nerve. I fully expected him to retaliate with another “I am a God!” or something equally as delusional and ridiculous. He never had any shortage of them, especially when reality was looking him right in the eye. _

_ But he didn’t. He cooled down and simply chuckled. “So be it. Although, truth be told, I don’t want his crown. And I don’t want to rule Hell. All I want to do is watch the world burn and for everything to go down with it. For the Evil Eye to open. And I have a feeling you’ll be more than happy to oblige once I’m done consuming Teagan Dunn’s soul. I see it in your eyes, man. You care about her, maybe even love her. That weakness will be your downfall, Demon King!”  _

_ “Maybe it will be one day. But I'll tell you something…if Bálor allows me to fall, it will  _ **_never_ ** _ be to you. Process that as you will.” _

_ I turned and walked away, stopping midway through to turn back at him. “By the way, you  _ **_will_ ** _ fail. Spectacularly so. Because she’ll fight your Turn, and win. Then I’ll have your head if you come for her again. That is, if the other demons don’t get it first. There’s a bounty on it, you know. So, shrouded or not, you  _ **_will_ ** _ be caught one day...and you  _ **_will_ ** _ face justice. Good night.” _

_  I walked back into the house and turned back to find him gone. Once I’ve closed and locked the door, I called Regal once more.  _

_ “New plan. He’s split his soul. Another Turn, courtesy of Abigail.” _

_ Regal's anger could be felt through the phone. “Figures. So his so-called ‘family’ must be caught, yes?” _

_ “Yes, but not killed. Find Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. Exorcise the remnants of Bray’s soul, but do so in a way that never alerts Bray to their loss. Let him think that he’s won and will get his way because no one can touch him. He intends to come for Teagan again and when he does, I’ll be ready for him.” _

_ “Excellent, my King. The Tribe has been dispatched, and the Order of Ramses has offered their services.” _

_ “Good, we’ll need them. I’m about to tend to Teagan now.” _

_ “Good. Go on then, lad. She’ll need you.” _

_ I hung up in time to hear Teagan waking up. _

_ Right then. Time to figure out what damage he's done. _

__

_ *** _

__

_ Where… Where am I? _

Sitting up from the couch I’d just been lying on, I’m shocked to realize that I’m right back at home. Odd, since the last thing I remember was being outside in town, escaping two of Finn’s co-workers and that stranger…

_ How did I get here? _ I wondered, blinking.

And then it started coming back. His voice, urging me. It’s always there, a constant noise in my skull, taking over my whole mind. It’s all I can think of.

**_Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents!_ **

I clamored to my feet. I don’t know how I got back here, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is a good thing. This is where I wanted to be. Now, I just need to get my hands on a knife and I can be on my way!

Stumbling as if drunk, I made my way into the kitchen and started sifting through the knives. There was a lot to choose from.

_ I have to kill them. I’ll never be happy until I do. I have to, I have to! _

_ Wait, no! This is wrong! You don’t want to do this- _

**_KILL YOUR PARENTS!_ **

I rested my head against the kitchen counter-top, resisting the urge to scream. Was I going mad? It felt that way. I couldn’t make sense of anything anymore, all I could think was of murdering my mother and father. If I didn’t do something -  _ anything _ \- it was going to take me over again and, next time, I might not be able to come to my senses.

In a moment of desperation, I started bashing my head against the counter-top.  _ Make it stop! _

***

_ I grabbed her and pulled her away from the counter-top, hauling her upstairs, and dropping her onto the bed. _

_ “Teagan, stop!” I held her in place, keeping her hands pinned at her sides. “It's me, Finn. I need you to tell me what’s going on.” _

***

“Finn?” I blinked up at him, only just remembering that I was texting him when that Audrey Marie abducted me.

**_Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents!_ **

All expression left my face and all train of thought was once again lost to me save for that one need.

“Let me go. There’s something I have to do. I must...I must see my parents.”

***

_ “No, I can’t,” I replied, keeping her down. “Something’s wrong with you. You were just bashing your own head against the countertop! I can’t let you leave. You need help. Let me help you.” _

***

“I…I don’t need your help! I need you to let me go!” I yelled back. “You don’t understand! I have to… I have to see my parents! Right now! I have to go and find them and I have to kill them. Then I’ll be free, then I’ll be happy. That’s what he said. He said I can’t rest until I do!”

I struggled against Finn’s grasp, but I couldn’t even so much as budge.

***

_ “That’s not true! You know it isn’t, Teagan! Whatever he did to you, I need you to fight it, okay?” I pleaded with her. “But I’m not letting you go. I won’t!” _

***

I growled and, from the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw my eyes glow a goldish color. “ _ LET ME GO!! _ Let me go right this instant or so help me I’ll slit your fucking throat-”

That one was bad enough that my senses, mercifully, returned to me, if only temporarily.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I apologized, breaking down. “I didn’t mean it, I swear. It’s-I’m not me! He - Bray Wyatt, that cult leader- he did something to me. He put these thoughts in my head and I can’t make them stop! I don’t want to!”

**_Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents. Kill your parents!_ **

Calm returned as Bray’s spell hooked its claws in. “Please...let me go.”

***

_ Yeah, no...not happening. _

_ “Time to say good night, Teagan.” I put her under once more. _

_ At least this one’s manageable. Right, first things first. Induce a dream state, somewhere familiar to the dreamer, and use that to undo the Turn’s toxic magic. _

_ I knew just the place. _


	48. Bloodroot

“Kill your parents, little lamb.” Bray Wyatt stood before me, coaxing me to take the dagger from his hands. On the ground by his feet lay my parents, gagged and bound, utterly helpless.

I shook my head. “No. Please, no. I don’t want to.  _ I don’t want this! _ ”

However, Bray was so insistent. The more I protested, the louder he became until he was prying my hands from my ears and screaming right in my face. “You must kill your parents! Only then will you know peace! If you don’t, it will never stop! It will eat away at your frail little mind until you can’t take no more!  _ Kill your parents! _ ”

“ _ NO! _ ” I screamed. And, grabbing the dagger from him, I held it in front of me with shaking hands. “Stay away from me!  _ Leave me alone! _ ”

He chuckled, taking slow steps towards me. “You think a knife can stop me? The Eater of Worlds?  _ You fool! _ Nothing can stop me! Now, end the lives of your mother and father or I’ll show you just how cruel a monster I can be!”

Terrified, I turned on my heel and ran. I could hear Bray Wyatt cackling behind me, fast on my trail.

After running for what felt like forever - my movements felt sluggish the whole time no matter how hard I tried to run - I was elated when I saw a fanciful looking house up ahead.  _ I...I know that place! _

Reaching the door, I banged on it. “Please open the door! I need help!”

***

**I flung the door open. “Get inside, quick! And stand back.”**

**She stepped behind a couple feet. I cocked an eyebrow. “A bit further.” When she obeyed, I said, “That works.”**

**Spinning towards the sight of Bray Wyatt running towards the entrance, I fired a blast of dark energy right into his chest. He dissipated in a vapor of madness and giggles.**

**An illusion. Of course.**

**I slammed the door and leaned against it.“Right. You okay? Wanna explain the psychopath at my door?”**

***

I tried to answer his questions, but found I was unable to. Despite seeing Bray vaporised before my eyes and knowing that, now I was in here, he or any other threat couldn’t get me, I was still filled with fear.

Trying to stifle a sob, I ran up to Bálor and hugged him.

***

**I embraced the shaken girl in my arms.“Shhhh, it’s alright. You’re safe now. Nothing can harm you here,” I soothed. “Come to the couch with me, okay?**

**We walked a short distance and settled into the cushions. I held her as she cried into my chest.**

***

I stayed that way, crying, until I’d calmed down enough that I could actually talk to Bálor and make sense.

“He-He’s done something to me, to my head. Put these thoughts in there that I can’t stop. He’s trying to make me kill my parents.” I explained. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to kill anyone. But he says I have to, or it won’t stop. I’ll never know peace, only madness.”

“What do I do!?” I begged Bálor.

***

**“Look at me. Look me right in the eyes. I need to see what I'm dealing with.”**

**She opened her eyes and kept them open as wide as she could manage. I peered deep into her subconscious mind until I saw what I needed to see.**

**I drew back and, with a deep sigh, asked, “How’s your gardening skills? Don’t answer that. Just...follow me.”**

**I led the way through the kitchen to the back door.**

***

_ Gardening skills? What the hell does gardening have to do with this? _ I thought, a tad bit annoyed at such a random question when I’d come to him, begging for his help.

I quickly shook off my ire. I trusted Bálor. If he brought it up, he must have had a good reason for it.

I followed him out into the garden.

***

**It was a lush, flowering sanctuary. Flora and fauna set the scene, and herbs and vegetables sat in a separate partition in the distance. “It wasn’t always like this. Before it was a mess of tangles and weeds, ivy and thorns. It’s been slowly improving over recent weeks, all on its own. Been raining a lot more, too, which helps this place grow all the more.”**

**I took her by the hand and led her down to the table full of tools and supplies. “This is your garden, dear Teagan. The progress you’ve made lately, the steps you’ve taken, how you’ve grown. This is your soul on display. But something’s invaded your garden, and although everything looks okay on the surface, you’re ill at ease. And here’s the cause.”**

**Reaching down, I pulled up a soft white flower with numerous petals and a bold yellow stamen. Underneath it all was a substantial basal leaf with a thick, grey root. I snapped it open, revealing the deep blood-red sap within.**

**“This, my dear, is bloodroot. Appropriately named for the sap it produces. Pretty to look at, but don’t let their looks fool you. One on its own is poisonous, but not fatal - just vomiting and loss of consciousness. Get a lot of these nasty things together though, and they’ll eventually break and poison the soil and kill your garden. This showed up not too long before you arrived with that backwoods Norman Bates on your heels, so I suspect he’s the cause. Luckily, there’s not many of them, and there’s still time to snatch them all up before they take root. This will be more of a peaceful activity since gardening is very grounding, very calming. After your excitement, you definitely need it.”**

**I handed her a basket and took one for myself. “Hope you don’t mind getting your hands dirty. If so, there’s gloves handy. Of course, it’s set to rain again soon, so we’d better get going if we’re to get this done in time.”**

***

Peaceful, he said? If this garden represented my soul, then these ‘flowers’, if they could even be called that, were infecting it. They were the reason I was practically losing my mind! How could I possibly relax as long as they remained here?

Falling to my knees, I grabbed the nearest one and tore it out of the dirt, making sure to not stop until I had it, root and all.

I did the same to another and chucked it into the basket before starting on another.

“He’s not human.” I said over my shoulder to Bálor. “He can’t be human. He...got into my head.  _ Literally.  _ He, he…” I threw another flower into the basket. “I  _ felt _ him in there, and he made me remember every bad thing my parents did to me. He  _ knew _ about them. How!?”

Starting to cry again, I continued my task of getting each and every one of these evil flowers out. I didn't care how long it took, if it rained, or how messy my hands got, I would not stop until they were all gone.

***

**“Whoa, whoa, easy on the flowers,” I corrected. “Like I said, this is peaceful. Now calm down for a moment. This isn’t without purpose. Your garden can take a little firm guidance, but it thrives on your gentleness. Treat this bloodroot not with the violence and urgency that created it, but with the care and gentleness that it despises. Gather it as if you were gathering to make something beautiful afterwards. And trust your garden. It hasn’t allowed this to take root yet.”**

**I walked up to her and, with careful hands, pulled one from the ground at her feet. It browned and curled, withering almost instantly. “See? It can’t survive otherwise. Once you give it that which is contrary to its nature, it wilts the moment you uproot it. Give it a try. Then we’ll address the rest. Don’t let him win by stealing your peace, Teagan. Focus.”**

***

I wanted to let out a groan and complain about how the last thing I wanted was to treat these weeds with kindness, but I kept quiet. Bálor’s logic was sound. To argue back would be to spite myself.

“Okay, fine, fine.” 

Wiping my eyes, I resumed gardening, this time with the gentleness and care I was told I should be handling them with. I did this by pretending that these ‘flowers’ were something precious, to be made a bouquet of, perhaps, and not the evil infestation they actually were.

My efforts were rewarded with the sight of them withering up and dying the second they were out of the soil and in the basket.

I sighed. It calmed me to know that I was slowly, but surely getting rid of them.

***

**“Very good. We’ll clear this up before you know it.”**

**We gathered the plants in silence for a while, as small clouds began to form in the sky.**

**“Bray Wyatt is a monster. He manipulates people’s minds and motivates them to serve his purposes. He tried doing it to you, but you fought him, didn’t you? That’s why this...”**

**I motioned to the garden. “...will be made quick work of. The resistance of your soul is stronger than even you give it credit for.”**

***

“I’m an idiot.” I said bitterly, putting another dead flower in the basket. “I keep running into him and he keeps trying to get me to join his messed up cult. I keep refusing, but, the last time, he warned me he’d be seeing again, and I…” I laughed scornfully. “I did absolutely fucking nothing.”

“I thought…I thought, if I was careful, didn’t go anywhere alone, I wouldn’t run into him again. I was also planning to get some pepper spray, just in case, but I never got around to it because, well,  _ this _ . It never occurred to me he’d have one of his followers hijack me.”

“I’m scared.” I then said, pretty much summing up all my feelings on this whole matter.

***

**“It’s okay to be scared. No one likes to live in fear of their safety. But...you’re not alone. You’ve got friends, people who love you and will look out for you.” I assured, pulling a bunch of the little bastards from the dirt.**

**“Bray and his creepy Mansonite crew will get theirs eventually. But what’s important is breaking their spell of fear over your life. You’ve already proven yourself the stronger one by fighting back, but the way to win? Keep living, even though you’re scared.”**

**We met in the middle as she pulled the one directly in front. I surveyed the area. “Well...what do you know? It’s done. And just in time.”**

**The sky was thick with dark clouds as the first drops of rain fell.**

***

Wiping the dirt from my hands, I walked back to the entrance to the garden where I took a seat to watch the rain start to fall. 

“I don’t know if I can… Everything’s gone to hell. Bray Wyatt is pretty much stalking me and, with the way things are escalating, it’s only a matter of time he breaks into my home or does something even worse. Finn is probably going to leave me because I threatened to slit his throat and he’s going to now think I’m a complete psycho. I just...lost myself for a second and I couldn’t stop the words coming out… How can I come back from that?”

***

**I stood in the rain, studying her curiously where she sat. “Honestly, I think you greatly underestimate how Finn feels about you.”**

**I leaned against the railing. “When you wake up in the morning and find him there next to you, talk to him. Surprise yourself. Or rather, let him surprise you. If he was truly afraid, he wouldn’t be there.”**

**“Also...talk to him about Bray. He wants to help, so let him do that. It wasn’t easy keeping this to yourself, but don’t be afraid to let him in.”**

***

I looked into Bálor’s eyes, letting his words sink in. He hadn’t steered me wrong before.

“E-Even if Finn stays and I let him in about Bray Wyatt…that doesn’t change that he’s still out there. Waiting. What if the next time he does something he hurts Finn? Or worse! I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if that happened!”

I stood up and turned away from him. “It’s too much! He shouldn’t have to put up with this! First, the abuse from my parents, then the religious guilt and no-sex issue, now this!”

“...Maybe I should go away for a bit? Somewhere where Bray wouldn’t find me? That way I know he’d be safe…”

***

**I shrugged. “You could. I mean, there’s literally nothing stopping you. You have money to hop a bus and just disappear. But…”**

**She turned to me, waiting for the thought to finish. “You also know Finn would understand...and still search everywhere to find you and bring you home. And Bray? Don’t think for a second he wouldn't set the world on fire to find that pissant either. The Queen might think she’s protecting her King in stepping away, but let’s face it: what relationship has ever worked on such short-sighted notions? He has to protect her, too. The road goes both ways.”**

***

After mulling it over a few seconds, I sighed and nodded my head. “You’re right. Running away wouldn’t be an answer to anything. I just...I feel so useless. He can protect me, but what exactly can I do? Nothing!”

***

**“Yes, you can.” I moved to stand in front of her on the stairs, rain coming down a bit harder.**

**“Do as you’ve always done. Be you - amazing, resilient, wonderful you - and look out for him. He’ll need you more than ever as this goes on. He'll fight to protect you, just as you would for him if the roles were reversed. Allow that knowledge to guide you.”**

**The rain let up as the sun began to peek through the breaking cloud cover. And, just as predicted, the garden exploded in color and abundance as closed buds opened up as if in time-lapse, and held there at their peak.**

***

“Wow.” I gasped. There wasn’t much else I could say.

I turned to Bálor. “This...this is really supposed to be my soul?” I turned back to admire it. “I always wanted a garden like this…”

***

**“Yup. It’s not even complete yet. New places are showing up all the time. But it maintains pretty well too. Come through anytime you want to visit it,” I offered.**

**“Now, let’s go inside for some hot chocolate and these really good Dutch waffle-cookies I stumbled on recently.”**

***

“Wait.” I stopped him from walking back into the house to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for saving me back there.”

***

**A soft smile crept into my face. I gave her a warm, chaste kiss on the lips in return, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “You’re a good girl, Teagan. You’re worth saving.”**

**I led us back to the couch where the refreshments were waiting. I poured the cocoa and placed a thin waffle-cookie on top of each cup. “There's caramel in between. The heat rises and softens the cookie and melts the caramel as well. It’s pretty good.”**

***

“I love this kind of stuff. One of the coffee shops - not Starbucks - was selling them once. They were SO sweet, but I still really enjoyed them. Really nice to try the real deal. Plus, hot chocolate!”

Taking a small bite, I made a sound of appreciation. Yep, he was onto winners here.

***

**We sat and enjoyed the cookies and the companionable silence. That is, until I broke it. “Look at me again. I need to check something.”**

**She obeyed and I looked into her subconscious. I could see memories being edited and rewritten. Bray Wyatt, cult leader, had one of his members abduct her to force her into joining them. Having failed that, he made them hold her down while he hypnotized her into a state where he programmed her to target her parents in order to find happiness. Once he finished, he had her dropped off. When she fled from people trying to help, she collapsed. She woke up at home.**

**Every reference to the forbidden, or our world, or how he knew about her parents outside of stalking her and lucky guesses, was efficiently erased.**

**“Better. Much better. Bray’s handiwork is undone. When you wake up, you’ll feel considerably better than you did coming in.”**

***

“Okay. That’s good to hear.” I sighed with relief.

“Thanks for the Dutch waffle-cookies. They were delicious.” I smiled as I put down my now empty cup. “Same for the cocoa.”

“Hopefully, I never have to see Bray Wyatt again. Though I have a feeling I will.”

***

**“Even if you do, remember these things: you’re stronger than he could ever be. You’re not alone. And you’re worth fighting for. You’re gonna be alright, dear Teagan,” I said with certainty. “Even if you don't believe it right now. You’ll be alright.”**

***

“Well, if you’re saying it, I’ve got to believe it then.” I jested as a way to clear away my lingering fears.

Standing up, I made my way to Bálor and, wrapping my arms around him, rested my cheek against the top of his head. “I don’t know why you got such a bad rap in the Bible, you’re such a nice guy.”

***

**I returned her embrace, slowly rising to my feet. “Only to those who deserve it. Don’t get too used to it though. There’s lessons to learn yet, and I’m still very much a dick. But it’s for your good,” I replied with a smirk.**

***

“Aaah, there’s the dickhead I know and love so much.” I sighed in mock exaggeration.

Standing back, I looked at him expectantly. “I’ll probably see you again at some point, but until then, I guess this is the point where you say, ‘Wake up, Teagan’, huh?”

***

**I chuckled. “I could. But I think, for once, I’ll let you see yourself out.”**

**I motioned to the open door. “Like I said, you’ll be back. You walked in, so you can walk out. Besides, I kinda like the view,” I ribbed, winking at her.**

***

Slapping him playfully on the arm, I made the way to the door and opened it. Ahead was a green lawn that stretched far and a car parked out front.

“Later, Bálor.” I smiled, before turning and walking out, closing the door behind me.

The second it did, I awoke.

 

“Finn!” I called after I made sure I was no longer brainwashed. To my intense relief, I heard no murderous mantra in my head. Regardless of whether the dream had anything to do with it or not, it seemed it was truly gone now.

I clenched my eyes as I felt a throbbing ache in my forehead. “Owww…”

***

_ I left her side the moment her dream ended, blinking out before she woke up. When I heard her call my name, I returned with ibuprofen and a glass of water from the kitchen. _

_ “There you are. Hey lovely,” I greeted warmly, handing her the remedy for her headache. “I thought you might need this.” _

***

“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.” I said, gratefully taking them from him.

Swallowing it, I drank the remainder of the water - I was so thirsty - and then placed the now empty glass down on the bedside table next to the bed.

And then I reached out and hugged him. “Finn, I’m so, so sorry.”

***

_ Holding her tightly, I stroked her hair. “No, it’s alright. You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I admit, you scared the hell outta me for a moment there. And I don’t scare easily. But...I’m so glad you’re safe.” _

***

“I didn’t mean the things I said. I wasn’t me when I said them. I…”

Taking a breath, I proceeded to start from the beginning. “After my support group, this new member, Audrey Marie, offered to give some of us lifts back home. I accepted and that’s when we were texting each other. But, when it came to just me and her, she refused to take me home. She took me to Bray Wyatt, she’s one of his followers. He…” I faltered. Would he believe me? “He messed with my head. Made me want to kill my parents. And I couldn’t stop it. I tried to, but it was just so hard and I thought I was going to go insane…!”

“Bray Wyatt wants me to join his cult. I keep running into him while alone and it’s really starting to scare me. I’m sorry, I know I should have told you, but I didn’t want to trouble you. I thought I could handle it.”

***

_ “Well, I’m not saying that I like that you’ve been holding on to this. But I do understand, and I'm sorry that you had to deal with this alone, even for a moment...and if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me,” I apologized gently. _

***

“You don’t need to apologize  _ at all _ . I didn’t tell you because I’m stupid, pure and simple. Every time I felt like telling you, I’d find myself thinking, ‘Wait, you’ve only ran into him once or twice and he hasn’t done anything to you. The police would tell you you’re just wasting their time.’ And then I’d lose confidence and think I’m just making a big thing out of nothing and should just deal with it.” I babbled.

***

_ “In any case, I’m glad you did. And I’m going to do everything I can to help. I’ll touch base with Regal, see if he can pull some strings and check on this Audrey Marie and see if we can find Bray. I’m not going to let him hurt you again." _

***

“Yo-You sure that’s okay? It won’t be any trouble for Regal?” I asked. And then I remembered something. “Oh, I vaguely remember running into your co-workers, Carmella and James Ellsworth. They were trying to help me, but I wouldn’t let them. I-I wasn’t thinking clearly. Could you please apologize to them for me? I’d apologize to them myself, but...” I looked down, ashamed. “I don’t know if I can face them, or anyone at your workplace now. They must think I’m a complete basket case.”

***

_ “No problem. They were just concerned. Carmella called me and stayed with you because you collapsed on the sidewalk,” I explained. (Carmella’s idea in case she ran into Teagan again at the firm.) _

_ “They’ll want to know you’re okay, so I’ll update them.” _

_ I cuddled in bed next to her. “You’re not stupid. No one counts on being stalked or harassed by someone. Bray is just a different level of dangerous, if the press is to be believed. Going to the police might help, but not by much. But like I said, I’m not gonna let him hurt you. I’ll protect you every way I can. If you want, you can stay at my place until this is over?” _

***

I gave it some thought and then shook my head. “No. That’s very kind of you to offer, but I’m not going to live my life in fear because of him. If I do, then that means I’m just letting him win.” I exhaled. “It won’t be easy, but I’m just going to carry on as normal. The fact that you know now makes me feel a lot better.”

“...That being said, I might stay at yours during the day, just when I’ve got nothing to do. I’d feel a lot better being at yours than being here, alone. Is that okay?”

***

_ “That’s fine with me,” I agreed. “It’s a secure building, so I feel good about you being there alone because you’re protected. And you can enjoy the garden and the pool, and come have lunch with me, if you want.” _

_ “I want you to be safe, but...I’m also proud of you for continuing to live your life as normal. These people thrive on the trauma and disruption they cause, so knowing that you’re pushing through is...it’s really good.” I kissed her forehead. “How about this? I’ve got the day off. I’m going to make a call, and when I get back, maybe we can do something relaxing today.” _

***

I smiled at his suggestion. “That sounds lovely, yeah.”

Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I let out a groan. “Oh God, look at my eye. This is going to take a week to go back to normal.”

***

_ “Hmm...some medicated eye drops will help that heal quickly. Even so, you’re still my lovely girl,” I replied with a smile. “In any case, I’ll make us something to eat and let you get around.” _

***

“Okay. Thanks for being so understanding. About all of this and Bray Wyatt. About everything, really.”

My head pain having lessened and pledging to get some eye drops for my red-eye tomorrow, I stood up to make my way to the bathroom so I could brush my hair and teeth and make it so I didn’t look as if I’d just been dragged through a hedge.

Once I was done, I took a seat on the living room sofa and turned on the television.

***

_ Sitting on her bed while she went downstairs, I called Regal. “She’s all clear. A red eye and a headache for her troubles, but much better than last night.” _

_ “Good to hear, Sire. And I have news as well. The cult has been eliminated by the Tribe. No survivors. And his two lackeys are about to be apprehended shortly. The Order is preparing for the dual exorcism. His hideout is a pile of ashes in the backwoods, so it’s possible that he’ll lie low and wait for his chance to strike.” _

_ “Most likely. Both sides are on alert. But he’s not going anywhere. He’s cornered.” _

_ “Be careful, my King. Look out for her. We’ve got you covered.” _

_ “Thank you, Regal.” _

_ I hung up and went downstairs. “Alright, I spoke to Regal. I can tell you about it while I make us some brunch sandwiches.” _

***

I raised a questioning eyebrow. “Brunch? But it’s…”

And then I saw what time it was and my eyes widened. It was twelve in the afternoon, a first for me.  _ Wow, I must have been in shock pretty bad… _

“Oh. Brunch sandwiches, it is.” There was a small part of me that wanted to ask exactly what the difference was between brunch sandwiches and normal regular sandwiches, but it was drowned out by the more powerful desire to hear what Regal had told Finn.

Joining Finn in the kitchen, I sat on the counter - the one I had bashed my head with yesterday, coincidentally - to listen to him as he prepared the food.

“So...what did Regal say?”

***

_ “He sends his best for your recovery, first off,” I began as I cracked a pair of eggs into a small skillet. As they cooked over medium heat, I laid down hot slices of turkey (which had been heated in the skillet before I cracked the eggs), a slice of Swiss cheese, and a squeeze of honey mustard. _

_ “Regal is no stranger to Bray Wyatt, having helped put his associate Randy Orton away. He said that he’s doing everything in his power to find him, and that you’ve got sanctuary at the firm whenever you need it.” _

_ Once the eggs were over-medium, I set an egg on each sandwich and topped it with a slice of bread to close it off. I set one in front of her and poured us both a glass of juice before joining her at the table. _

***

“Regal helped put away Randy Orton? ...Wow.” I had no idea Finn’s law firm had handled such an important, high-profile case. “He must have been quite upset when Orton escaped prison, huh?”

“And that’s really gracious of him. I promise, if I do decide to come visit, I won’t get in the way or distract you from your work. I can always stay in an empty office.”

Having missed lunch and dinner yesterday, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I had the plate of food in front of me. I took a bite out of it and licked my lips, enjoying the variety of flavors. 

***

_ “You wouldn’t be a bother at all. In fact, I get asked about you quite a bit. And hey, if you get bored, I’m pretty sure Isaac would be happy to pick your brain. When he happens to come in,” I grinned. _

_ I took a bite of my sandwich, chewing thoughtfully before continuing. “And yeah, he did. He might tell you about it one day.” _

***

“Heh. Is Issac there often?” The way Isaac had been, I got the impression he only came in when he absolutely had to, and, if he did, he holed himself up in an office to spare having to mingle with anyone.

I glugged some of my orange juice. “Would be nice if he did.”

Chin resting on my palm, I gazed out the window. “I find it hard to believe that the police haven’t done anything about the Wyatt Family at all. I mean, there’s been rumors flying around town for awhile now that the cult is up to some pretty creepy stuff. Aren’t they worried they’re going to wind up with another Jonestown or Manson Family?”

***

_ “Isaac’s not around too often, but on occasion you might see him. As far as the police, they’re honestly at a loss. Considering that there’s been no missing person reports or bodies, the rumors are just that: rumors, nothing that they can confirm or make stick without evidence,” I explained.  _

_ I drank a little juice and pondered for a moment. “Catching up with the Wyatt family is a lot like trying to catch smoke.” _

_ (Unless, of course, you’re demonic. Or angelic. Or unfortunate to get caught up with them.) _

_ “But they will be caught. Regal assured me of that, too.” _

***

Knowing what I did now, that Regal helped bring Randy Orton to justice the first time round, I found that reassuring.

Still… “If…if I were to go to the police about what Bray did to me yesterday, do you think it would make a difference? I don’t have proof, but I can give names, at least?” My face then fell. “Or would it still not be enough?”

I took another bite of my sandwich.

***

_ “I’d say it's worth a try, if only to have it on record. I’m not sure if it'll be enough, but…” I breathed a sigh. “Anything at this point may help.” _

***

I was about to say “I’ll do that then,” when I closed my eyes, remembering a very important fact.

“Wait, no...I can’t.” I said bitterly. “There’s too many things they’d pick apart and use against me. I have no way of proving that Audrey Marie took me to the Wyatt Family’s compound against my will. There’s proof she dropped Michael and the others off at their homes, so why would she not do the same for me? Then, they’d probably ask me why I didn’t try to escape.”

I finished my orange juice.

“However, that’s not the most glaring problem, which is that there’s probably CCTV of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan dropping me off in town afterwards. No matter how you paint it, that’s going to look pretty suspicious to them. God help me if they find out about the brainwashing.”

I sighed. “I thought I could do that much, but it looks like I can’t.”

***

_ “Hey, don’t despair…” I took her hand. “We’ll figure it out. For now, Regal says he’ll get a handle on things. He’s got years of connections. He’ll find something.” _

***

“...Okay.” I squeezed his hand. “Let’s leave it at that then. Bray Wyatt ruined yesterday for us, I’m not going to let him ruin today either.”

I took the last few bites of the sandwich Finn made me. “Lovely brunch, by the way.”

***

_ “Glad you liked it,” I replied. “And you’re absolutely right. Any ideas for the day?” _

***

“Well, today’s the day I normally take Mrs. Brown dog, Milo, out dog walking. Want to tag along with me? You’ve seen him, he’s a sweet little thing, he won’t bite.”

I was about to add that on two occasions I had met Bray Wyatt, it was in a park, but then I remembered that I didn’t want to mention his name for the rest of the day. Regardless, I’d feel a lot safer with Finn by my side.

***

_ “I’d love to.” I smiled. _

_ After finishing my sandwich, I cleaned up our dishes while she got ready, then I got showered and dressed in casual clothes. It seemed best that I stayed by her side when she needed me. _

_ However, I’d see to it that my eyes on the street would do likewise (from a distance) when I could not. _

***

The walk to Mrs. Brown’s house did not take long, only fifteen minutes at best.

The mother of four answered the door looking a little worse for wear than usual when I rang the doorbell. “Afternoon, Teagan, I’ll get Milo now.” Her voice was hoarse and her nose stuffy. It seemed she’d caught the flu.

She froze when she got a good look at me. “Oh dear, what happened to your eye?” And then she noticed Finn standing to the side. “And who’s the handsome young man?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a minor injury. And that’s Finn, he’s my partner.”

“Lucky you.” Was all she said before going back inside, coughing all the while. She would return shortly with Milo, carrying the little yorkshire terrier in her arms. “You all have a nice walk, you hear me?”

Once she had closed the door, I bent down and attached the lead to Milo’s collar. “Right, let’s go, shall we?”

***

_ We walked through the park Teagan chose, Milo’s tiny legs shuffling along fast as they could carry him. _

_ While I knew for certain that we wouldn’t encounter any more of his brood, it was difficult to say the same of Bray now that he had shrouded himself. So Bálor’s Eye was vigilant, detecting threats from afar. _

_ But me? I kept a vigilant eye on Teagan and her well-being. _

_ And the adorably cute terrier she was walking, with a look of relief in her face. _

***

“Try and avoid the mud!” I called after the small dog. Not sure why, it wasn’t like he understood me or would follow that order, but I couldn’t help it. Milo was just too cute for words.

“Ever thought about getting  a pet?” I asked Finn absentmindedly.

***

_ “I considered it. A dog, especially,” I replied. “With my job, I think I could manage it alright. But I haven’t really taken the dive just yet. How about you?” _

***

“I did think about it, too. Not a cat or a dog because they’re pretty expensive, to buy and look after. But, maybe, a budgie or rats? I hear rats make for very smart, very affection pets. Anyway, I couldn’t get one in the end because Dawn hated animals.”

***

_ “Rats are oddly cute, though I have to say I’m kinda partial to ferrets myself.” _

***

“Oh, I would love a ferret!” I agreed eagerly. “That or maybe one of those micro pigs. They’re just adorable. In fact, can I have all of them? All of them would be good.” I laughed soon after.

“We should definitely think about getting a pet in the future. A dog, maybe, just because that’d deter anyone from trying to break in.”

***

_ “This is true...but ferrets are funnier,” I poked in jest, keeping the tone light. _

***

“They are… Ooh, you know what would make for such a cute pet? A pygmy goat!”

We kept up this line of conversation, strolling through the park all the while with Milo trotting by our feet, sniffing here and there. A nice bit of peace compared to the stress of yesterday.

***

_ “I just had a thought,” I piped up after a period of silence. _

_ “What do you think about taking a trip together? Once things settle into normal again, I mean. There’s places I’d love to go to that you would love.” _

***

“Sure, I’d love that.” I smiled, remembering our conversation a few weeks back where we discussed our dream places we’d like to visit. “How about we decide on a place and start saving up for it now? Something to look forward to, don’t you think?”

***

_ “I agree!" _

_ If I had it my way, we'd be going to all of them. Now. _

_ But...baby steps. _

_ Just the same, we discussed our travel ideas. Though we hadn’t settled on a destination, at least it was a good start. A pleasant distraction, considering it was unlikely to happen the way she might expect.  _

_ Still, it was something to dream on. _


End file.
